Ahem, I hope you all are seeing this. Reply if you are, I want a pretty solid audience for episode 2. I have part one all planned out, I just need to make sure you guys are seeing this.
Ahem, I hope you all are seeing this. Reply if you are, I want a pretty solid audience for episode 2. I have part one all planned out, I just need to make sure you guys are seeing this.
Ahem, I hope you all are seeing this. Reply if you are, I want a pretty solid audience for episode 2. I have part one all planned out, I just need to make sure you guys are seeing this.
Ahem, I hope you all are seeing this. Reply if you are, I want a pretty solid audience for episode 2. I have part one all planned out, I just need to make sure you guys are seeing this.
Willy..... Willy? Willy! Come here please! Nooo! NO!
"Mom?!?" I yell as i thrust my head up from the snow.
I look around me, im covered in snow. The air is crisp and cool and snow flakes are gliding through the air. Last time i remember the snow wasnt sticking.
I move my fingers along the back of my head
"Ouch!" I yelp as i remember i was knocked out by that guy who...
I relize im all alone, theres nobody in sight.
"Hello?!?" I yell "Nick? Katherine? Zack?"
Nothing.
I pull myself up and shiver, my hands are trembling because i am so cold. I begin walking in the freezing cold.
Maybe they are around here somewhere, they could be playing a game on me. What if everyone was taken but me...
I squint my eyes and see what looks like a rock. I begin to walk towards it.
Willy, thats stupid theres no rocks this far nort-
"Its a body.." I say talking to myself.
I run as fast as i can to it and see tire tracks beside the body.
"Elizabeth..." I mutter.
Elizabeth has 4 gunshot wounds and plenty of stab marks, her mouth is wide open like she was screaming when she died.
"I'm so sorry" I say and shut her mouth and close her eyes.
The tire tracks run back to the road so they're gone..
I need to find Nick, he will help me i havent seen his body yet so thats a good sign, i miss him i need to look after him if he's here..
In the distance i see Nick walking around.
"Nick!" I yell a rush of exictment runs through me as i am reunited with my best friend.
"Nick! I'm so happy to see you" I say as i go up to him "You'll never believe w-"
It wasnt Nick, it was one of those things, what was once Nick was a growling monster that was leaping towards me
"NOO!!!" i scream as he jumps on me "Please! Nick! STOP"
He growls and bites my shoe. My shoe hits his neck and i push him off of me.
He hits the ground and growls before be can get up I stomp on his head like Riley taught me.
I stomp his head and blood sprays all over my shoers
"Nick...i'm sorry" i mutter
I kick his head again and it cracks open, he stop growling and i sit beside what was once Nick.
"Nick... please come back" Hot tears form around my eyes and run down my trembling face. I lean down and hug his body tightly
I begin screaming for my friend to return
[20 Mintues Later]
Its no hope, i wipe the tears off my face
I better get up, i need food, water, and heat or i will die
I stand up and begin walking to the forest where Katherine, Olivia, Carson, and Riley all were hiding in.
They could have survived if it wasnt for me. They could all be dead right now... or... or worse.
I enter the unknown forest, its thick so no wonder they managed to get away. I see a big thing of wood that Olivia was carrying that she must've dropped.
I walk down the steeper part of the forest when suddenly i come across a smaller stream with fresh cool water running through it.
"Water!" i exclaim "God, i am so thirsty!"
I run to the water when suddenly i trip over something
BAM!
I move my head up my vision is blurry for a second but then it goes back to normal, i turn my head around to see what i tripped on. It was one of Riley's knives.
I took the knife and sipped some of the water.
I head for the bag of wood that was left behind by Olivia.
I need to make a campfire.. or ill die out here. and what about food. i cant find any of it.
I try to grab the bag of wood but i cant with my shaking hands. So i begin to dig through it, at the top all the wood is wet.
"Please" I beg to myself "Just one thing of dry wood will do the trick"
I keep digging, through the wood and it becomes damp. I see right at the bottom lots of drywood.
"Yes!" I yelp "This so awesome"
I cant believe it, my friend just died... I killed him and here i am happy about some wood? I cant believe how selfish i am.
I walk deeper into the forest than i was before, I make sure im not very far from the road i find what looks like a cliff and set my camp up near it.
I grab the wood and set it up, i find some moss and begin making the fire i also get lost in my thoughts.
Why did those guys want us dead... or injured or worse. Why did they leave me and Nick? I understand they left Elizabeth because she was dead but Nick wasnt shot he just had a stab mark on his shoulder and was knocked out. I wonder if they are mad at me for not running into the forest, i was on the road when they drove at us i would have gotten shot. I'm sure of it. I bet they hate me, i hate myself..... Riley could be dead to she was hurt and shot in the shou-
"Shoot her!" a voice yelled in the distance
I jumped up and left the campfire, and started walking towards the voices, they were pretty close but not close enough to see me.
"NO, GOD PLEASE! AHHHH!!! AHHHHH!!! NO" a girl screamed
"Dont worry" a man mocked "This WONT be quick" all the other men chuckled.
I have to help her, i cant leave a girl to die. They'll torture her... and plus she may have been escaping the place that everyone else went to. She might have information on them, or even know them. But i have to go back to the campfire i have warmth there and water and plus what can it do? I only have one knife I cant help her! Can i?
The Walking North: Episode 2 part 1 'Isolation'
Willy..... Willy? Willy! Come here please! Nooo! NO!
"Mom?!?" I yell as i thrust my he… moread up from the snow.
I look around me, im covered in snow. The air is crisp and cool and snow flakes are gliding through the air. Last time i remember the snow wasnt sticking.
I move my fingers along the back of my head
"Ouch!" I yelp as i remember i was knocked out by that guy who...
I relize im all alone, theres nobody in sight.
"Hello?!?" I yell "Nick? Katherine? Zack?"
Nothing.
I pull myself up and shiver, my hands are trembling because i am so cold. I begin walking in the freezing cold.
Maybe they are around here somewhere, they could be playing a game on me. What if everyone was taken but me...
I squint my eyes and see what looks like a rock. I begin to walk towards it.
Willy, thats stupid theres no rocks this far nort-
"Its a body.." I say talking to myself.
I ru… [view original content]
The Walking North: Episode 2 part 1 'Isolation'
Willy..... Willy? Willy! Come here please! Nooo! NO!
"Mom?!?" I yell as i thrust my he… moread up from the snow.
I look around me, im covered in snow. The air is crisp and cool and snow flakes are gliding through the air. Last time i remember the snow wasnt sticking.
I move my fingers along the back of my head
"Ouch!" I yelp as i remember i was knocked out by that guy who...
I relize im all alone, theres nobody in sight.
"Hello?!?" I yell "Nick? Katherine? Zack?"
Nothing.
I pull myself up and shiver, my hands are trembling because i am so cold. I begin walking in the freezing cold.
Maybe they are around here somewhere, they could be playing a game on me. What if everyone was taken but me...
I squint my eyes and see what looks like a rock. I begin to walk towards it.
Willy, thats stupid theres no rocks this far nort-
"Its a body.." I say talking to myself.
I ru… [view original content]
[Help the girl]. I don't know how he's gonna be able to do that but that's what improvisation is for.
Good chapter! Poor Nick...
I have a bit of advice, if you want it. It might be a good idea to vary your onomatopoeias (words that represent sound) and throw in some adverbs, here and there. BAM fits the sound of a gunshot, but doesn't really go with the sound of stomping a head or tripping. For example...
Bam! I stomp his head and blood comes out his head.
"Nick...I'm sorry." I mutter.
BAM! He stops growling and I sit beside what was once Nick.
That scene might hit the readers harder if you rewrite it like this...
Blood sprayed on my boot as Nick's skull cracked in with a sickening crunch.
"Nick...I'm sorry." I mutter tearfully, as I prepare to finish him off.
CRACK! He stops growling and I sit down next to what used to be Nick/my best friend.
Switching it up and using descriptive words is a good way to make people feel like they're watching the scene unfold in front of them, rather than just reading about it. Sorry if I'm acting like a backseat driver here, but I thought it might be helpful.
The Walking North: Episode 2 part 1 'Isolation'
Willy..... Willy? Willy! Come here please! Nooo! NO!
"Mom?!?" I yell as i thrust my he… moread up from the snow.
I look around me, im covered in snow. The air is crisp and cool and snow flakes are gliding through the air. Last time i remember the snow wasnt sticking.
I move my fingers along the back of my head
"Ouch!" I yelp as i remember i was knocked out by that guy who...
I relize im all alone, theres nobody in sight.
"Hello?!?" I yell "Nick? Katherine? Zack?"
Nothing.
I pull myself up and shiver, my hands are trembling because i am so cold. I begin walking in the freezing cold.
Maybe they are around here somewhere, they could be playing a game on me. What if everyone was taken but me...
I squint my eyes and see what looks like a rock. I begin to walk towards it.
Willy, thats stupid theres no rocks this far nort-
"Its a body.." I say talking to myself.
I ru… [view original content]
[Help the girl]. I don't know how he's gonna be able to do that but that's what improvisation is for.
Good chapter! Poor Nick...
I … morehave a bit of advice, if you want it. It might be a good idea to vary your onomatopoeias (words that represent sound) and throw in some adverbs, here and there. BAM fits the sound of a gunshot, but doesn't really go with the sound of stomping a head or tripping. For example...
Bam! I stomp his head and blood comes out his head.
"Nick...I'm sorry." I mutter.
BAM! He stops growling and I sit beside what was once Nick.
That scene might hit the readers harder if you rewrite it like this...
Blood sprayed on my boot as Nick's skull cracked in with a sickening crunch.
"Nick...I'm sorry." I mutter tearfully, as I prepare to finish him off.
CRACK! He stops growling and I sit down next to what used to be Nick/my best friend.
Switching it up and using des… [view original content]
The Walking North: Episode 2 part 1 'Isolation'
Willy..... Willy? Willy! Come here please! Nooo! NO!
"Mom?!?" I yell as i thrust my he… moread up from the snow.
I look around me, im covered in snow. The air is crisp and cool and snow flakes are gliding through the air. Last time i remember the snow wasnt sticking.
I move my fingers along the back of my head
"Ouch!" I yelp as i remember i was knocked out by that guy who...
I relize im all alone, theres nobody in sight.
"Hello?!?" I yell "Nick? Katherine? Zack?"
Nothing.
I pull myself up and shiver, my hands are trembling because i am so cold. I begin walking in the freezing cold.
Maybe they are around here somewhere, they could be playing a game on me. What if everyone was taken but me...
I squint my eyes and see what looks like a rock. I begin to walk towards it.
Willy, thats stupid theres no rocks this far nort-
"Its a body.." I say talking to myself.
I ru… [view original content]
No problem. I volunteer at my university's writing center sometimes, so just let me know if I can be of assistance
Changing the narrators 'voice is' a really cool idea. I don't write in the 1st Person very often, so I never would've thought of that. Looking forward to it.
Thanks for all your criticism it helps a lot. I'll actually change it now
SIDE NOTE: The level of grammar will drop in Episode 2 since we are in the mind of a 13 year old not a 16 year old.
Okay I'm delaying part 2 until I find a good website to write on, the last one ended terribly. It couldn't let me copy and then cut all my work TWICE.
Firstworldstruggles
Ahem, I hope you all are seeing this. Reply if you are, I want a pretty solid audience for episode 2. I have part one all planned out, I just need to make sure you guys are seeing this.
The Walking North Part 2 Episode 2 'islotated' (You and 100% of reader want Willy to save the girl)
I couldnt let them kill her, i just cant.
I walk towards them and make myself visible, i am only about 15 feet away from them.
"Hey!" The guy yells pointing his rifle at me "If you move you one more foot you little FUCKIN' runt i will end you"
"I... I d-dont want to hurt anyone" i stutter
"YOU dont want to hurt anyone?" the man says and then chuckles "You want to take me or something? ill beat the shit out of you"
"Please just let her go..." I say looking at the girl, she is white with brown hair and green eyes she is maybe around 14 shes probably from a settlement. They trapped her in a fishnet and she is staring at me.
All the men chuckle
"Just shoot him" one of the other men say and the guy aims his gun at me
BAM!
He missed me but i hit the ground, i have to act fast. i remember what Riley taught me "Stay calm, flick the wrist, aim straight" I whisper. I grab the knife out of my pocket.
I turn around and face him and push my arm forward with the knife in my hand, I flick my wrist and the knife releases it rockets right for him and then goes through his forehead.
"OWWW FUCK!" He screams in pain and pulls the knife out of his forehead.
He takes the knife out and it drops near the fishing net, then he collapses on the ground.
I slowly step back.
"Marcus? You there?" One of the bandits say
"He's DEAD BECAUSE OF THIS FUCKER!!" A man yells at me
"Shoot him and the girl!" another one yells, i look over to the girl.
She had ripped open the fish net with Riley's knife and managed to escape in the woods.
BAM!
A rifle bullet nearly blew my face off, i turn around and run into the woods
BAM!
I keep running and think about what i should do next
Where do i go? I cant go back to camp they'll find me.. thats when i think of a really good spot.
The cliff.
If i manage to hang off of the cliff then he will be running so fast he wont notice and maybe fall off of the edge.
"I hear you" a voice says behind me in the distance "Im going to get you"
Oh god oh god, i pick up my pace. The cliff isnt very far but i need to see if he's behind me.
I turn my head around and he's not there, when i turn back i am blinded by leaves and trip over a rock.
My vision blurrs for a second and then feel a painful feeling in my hand.
"OH GOD!" I scream and i look at my hand, it has a stick in it. It must've gone through my flesh when i fell.
"Oh no.." i cry as i close my eyes and pull it out. Blood oozes onto my arm..
"ive got you now" a voice says and i turn around and look up.
One of the bandits is over me with a rifle aimed at my forehead, i panic and kick the rifle off of him and it lands in the bushes.
"You little fucker!" he snarles and grabs my leg. I'm being pulled backwards.
"PLEASE LET ME GO!!" I scream
He wasnt going to let me go, then i remember what to do... when i was younger i used to playfight with my brothers a lot and we all had a secert weapon. Mine was my long sharp finger nails.
I turn my head around and took my hand that doesnt have a hole in it and i dug my nails into his arm i pulled my fingernails down ripping his arm up.
"OH GOD!" he screams in pain and releases me, then i escape him and run for the cliff.
Its only about 20 feet away and i head right for it.
I get to the cliff and nearly fall off it, theres no warning that theres a 20 foot cliff only inches away from trees and grass.
I see an area that i can safely hang off of and go to it, i begin hanging off the cliff. When i look down i notice i can climb down the cliff, if this works or if it fails.
Then i hear footsteps and hug the cliff hoping he doesnt fall right over me and bring me down.
i hear him try to slow down once he notices theres a cliff, its too late.
"NOO!" he screams as his legs go flying into the air and his head hits the edge of the cliff which makes a cracking sound. He rolls down the cliff until he slams onto the ground at the bottom face first.
A pool of blood forms around his face and neck.
I climb down the cliff careful not to hurt my hand, it needs to be cleaned or it might get infected.
When I hit the bottom of the ground and walk over to the man, his rifle is laying on the ground and looks as if it survived the fall.
I pick up the rifle and take several bullets from his pocket.
Suddenly the girl goes running by me, she is in the woods past the stream.
Making sure i see if anyone is after her, nobody is. She mustve lost them and doesnt know it.
"Hey wait up!" i yell to her
"Leave me alone, please!" she screams
I cross the stream and run after her, the woods here are more dense here. Probably because its further away from the road..
BAM!
A gunshot goes off in front of her, it was one of the guys.
I guess he knew where she was running and cut her off, he doesnt see me.
He throws another fishnet at her but she dodges, however she trips over it.
I panic and throw her the rifle with a bullet in it.
She picks up the rifle
BAM!
The guy fires at her but misses she kicks him in the stomach.
She grabs the rifle again and pulls it back, he gets up again and kicks her in the face. He then grabs her leg and pulls her backwards.
She screams pointing at me "LOOK! ITS HIM!!!"
the man stands up and runs at me
"YOU LITTLE FUCKER!" he screams "HOW DARE YOU KILL HI-"
BAM!
He falls to the ground and behind him is the girl with the rifle aimed at him, she shot him in the back of the head.
"Heres your rifle" she says handing me the rifle
"Thanks" i say softly "For saving me"
She smiles "Well you saved me before so its no big deal, whats your name?... Your white name"
"Willy" i say smiling "Whats your name? Your white name of course"
She laughs "I am WHITE, i dont have an indian name"
"I know" I say "I was kidding"
"Melissa, my names Melissa. I was with my parents before these guys" she snarles looking at his body which is mow behind us as we walk.
"What happened?" I ask as we walk back towards the road
"Well we were walking to Vancouver and they came out of nowhere. Shot my parents and took me and 4 other girls. We got to this community and"
"Wait" I say cutting her off "My friends got taken, are they there??"
"Probably" she says "They have stolen hundereds of teengaers in the north"
"What do they do to them?" i ask
"The girls are sold..." she tells me
"Sold?" I say "Like sex s-"
"Yep" she says cutting me off
"Can you take me there, maybe get my friends free?" i beg "please?"
"Wish i could" she smiles "But when me and my four friends planned to escape, i was the only one that managed to survive. They found out what we were doing, rounded us up and excuted 2 of them... that night i knew i was going to be sold if i didnt escape. So me and my 2 friends escaped, 1 got shot and the other sacrificed herself for me to leave"
"Oh.." I ask "What do they do to the guys"
"The guys?" She tells me while looking down "they work on this farm they are making to sell food for gas, sex, etc. but they only have males that are old enough to work hard i guess"
So thats why i was left with Nick, because we werent old enough.
"So what happened to your hand?" she asked me
"A stick went in it while i tripped trying to escape" I mutter
"Oh.." Melissa trails off.
Theres an awkward pause as we now walk along the road
"Fine" she says
"What?" I exclaim a bit startled
"Ill help you get your friends back we just need a c-" She suddenly pauses looking at the road "Oh oh god, oh god NO willy it might be one of them RUN!!"
"HUH?" i yell as Melissa sprints into the forest "MELISSA?!?" all i can hear are her footsteps.
I turn around and see a car driving towards me, i squint my eyes.
Oh god it could be one of them..
Wait theres no way it could be.. theres only one guy in the Truck.
The Walking North Part 2 Episode 2 'islotated' (You and 100% of reader want Willy to save the girl)
I couldnt let them kill her, i just c… moreant.
I walk towards them and make myself visible, i am only about 15 feet away from them.
"Hey!" The guy yells pointing his rifle at me "If you move you one more foot you little FUCKIN' runt i will end you"
"I... I d-dont want to hurt anyone" i stutter
"YOU dont want to hurt anyone?" the man says and then chuckles "You want to take me or something? ill beat the shit out of you"
"Please just let her go..." I say looking at the girl, she is white with brown hair and green eyes she is maybe around 14 shes probably from a settlement. They trapped her in a fishnet and she is staring at me.
All the men chuckle
"Just shoot him" one of the other men say and the guy aims his gun at me
BAM!
He missed me but i hit the ground, i have to act fast. i remember what Riley taught me "Stay calm,… [view original content]
The Walking North Part 2 Episode 2 'islotated' (You and 100% of reader want Willy to save the girl)
I couldnt let them kill her, i just c… moreant.
I walk towards them and make myself visible, i am only about 15 feet away from them.
"Hey!" The guy yells pointing his rifle at me "If you move you one more foot you little FUCKIN' runt i will end you"
"I... I d-dont want to hurt anyone" i stutter
"YOU dont want to hurt anyone?" the man says and then chuckles "You want to take me or something? ill beat the shit out of you"
"Please just let her go..." I say looking at the girl, she is white with brown hair and green eyes she is maybe around 14 shes probably from a settlement. They trapped her in a fishnet and she is staring at me.
All the men chuckle
"Just shoot him" one of the other men say and the guy aims his gun at me
BAM!
He missed me but i hit the ground, i have to act fast. i remember what Riley taught me "Stay calm,… [view original content]
The Walking North Part 2 Episode 2 'islotated' (You and 100% of reader want Willy to save the girl)
I couldnt let them kill her, i just c… moreant.
I walk towards them and make myself visible, i am only about 15 feet away from them.
"Hey!" The guy yells pointing his rifle at me "If you move you one more foot you little FUCKIN' runt i will end you"
"I... I d-dont want to hurt anyone" i stutter
"YOU dont want to hurt anyone?" the man says and then chuckles "You want to take me or something? ill beat the shit out of you"
"Please just let her go..." I say looking at the girl, she is white with brown hair and green eyes she is maybe around 14 shes probably from a settlement. They trapped her in a fishnet and she is staring at me.
All the men chuckle
"Just shoot him" one of the other men say and the guy aims his gun at me
BAM!
He missed me but i hit the ground, i have to act fast. i remember what Riley taught me "Stay calm,… [view original content]
Comments
I think Zack died.
Is there anyway make more page/sections. It seems to be stuck on 3. help
Nick, Zack and Katherine died I think.
I was wondering if you guys would want me to continue this, I don't want to write episode 2 for no one.
Second episode?
Of course we want second episode!
Haha, okay. Then news shall follow very soon.
Ahem, I hope you all are seeing this. Reply if you are, I want a pretty solid audience for episode 2. I have part one all planned out, I just need to make sure you guys are seeing this.
I'm here!
Here
Here!
Will episode 2 be released tomorrow?
Yes, or Monday.
Hi, I just saw this looks cool
Cool, I'll submit one
hey
I love seeing new readers, this is an interactive fan fiction so you vote on the choices also feel free to enter a character
Finished writing part one of episode two,
All I can say is... its very sober.
I just deleted all of episode 2 part 1.
DDDD::::::
The Walking North: Episode 2 part 1 'Isolation'
Willy..... Willy? Willy! Come here please! Nooo! NO!
"Mom?!?" I yell as i thrust my head up from the snow.
I look around me, im covered in snow. The air is crisp and cool and snow flakes are gliding through the air. Last time i remember the snow wasnt sticking.
I move my fingers along the back of my head
"Ouch!" I yelp as i remember i was knocked out by that guy who...
I relize im all alone, theres nobody in sight.
"Hello?!?" I yell "Nick? Katherine? Zack?"
Nothing.
I pull myself up and shiver, my hands are trembling because i am so cold. I begin walking in the freezing cold.
Maybe they are around here somewhere, they could be playing a game on me. What if everyone was taken but me...
I squint my eyes and see what looks like a rock. I begin to walk towards it.
Willy, thats stupid theres no rocks this far nort-
"Its a body.." I say talking to myself.
I run as fast as i can to it and see tire tracks beside the body.
"Elizabeth..." I mutter.
Elizabeth has 4 gunshot wounds and plenty of stab marks, her mouth is wide open like she was screaming when she died.
"I'm so sorry" I say and shut her mouth and close her eyes.
The tire tracks run back to the road so they're gone..
I need to find Nick, he will help me i havent seen his body yet so thats a good sign, i miss him i need to look after him if he's here..
In the distance i see Nick walking around.
"Nick!" I yell a rush of exictment runs through me as i am reunited with my best friend.
"Nick! I'm so happy to see you" I say as i go up to him "You'll never believe w-"
It wasnt Nick, it was one of those things, what was once Nick was a growling monster that was leaping towards me
"NOO!!!" i scream as he jumps on me "Please! Nick! STOP"
He growls and bites my shoe. My shoe hits his neck and i push him off of me.
He hits the ground and growls before be can get up I stomp on his head like Riley taught me.
I stomp his head and blood sprays all over my shoers
"Nick...i'm sorry" i mutter
I kick his head again and it cracks open, he stop growling and i sit beside what was once Nick.
"Nick... please come back" Hot tears form around my eyes and run down my trembling face. I lean down and hug his body tightly
I begin screaming for my friend to return
[20 Mintues Later]
Its no hope, i wipe the tears off my face
I better get up, i need food, water, and heat or i will die
I stand up and begin walking to the forest where Katherine, Olivia, Carson, and Riley all were hiding in.
They could have survived if it wasnt for me. They could all be dead right now... or... or worse.
I enter the unknown forest, its thick so no wonder they managed to get away. I see a big thing of wood that Olivia was carrying that she must've dropped.
I walk down the steeper part of the forest when suddenly i come across a smaller stream with fresh cool water running through it.
"Water!" i exclaim "God, i am so thirsty!"
I run to the water when suddenly i trip over something
BAM!
I move my head up my vision is blurry for a second but then it goes back to normal, i turn my head around to see what i tripped on. It was one of Riley's knives.
I took the knife and sipped some of the water.
I head for the bag of wood that was left behind by Olivia.
I need to make a campfire.. or ill die out here. and what about food. i cant find any of it.
I try to grab the bag of wood but i cant with my shaking hands. So i begin to dig through it, at the top all the wood is wet.
"Please" I beg to myself "Just one thing of dry wood will do the trick"
I keep digging, through the wood and it becomes damp. I see right at the bottom lots of drywood.
"Yes!" I yelp "This so awesome"
I cant believe it, my friend just died... I killed him and here i am happy about some wood? I cant believe how selfish i am.
I walk deeper into the forest than i was before, I make sure im not very far from the road i find what looks like a cliff and set my camp up near it.
I grab the wood and set it up, i find some moss and begin making the fire i also get lost in my thoughts.
Why did those guys want us dead... or injured or worse. Why did they leave me and Nick? I understand they left Elizabeth because she was dead but Nick wasnt shot he just had a stab mark on his shoulder and was knocked out. I wonder if they are mad at me for not running into the forest, i was on the road when they drove at us i would have gotten shot. I'm sure of it. I bet they hate me, i hate myself..... Riley could be dead to she was hurt and shot in the shou-
"Shoot her!" a voice yelled in the distance
I jumped up and left the campfire, and started walking towards the voices, they were pretty close but not close enough to see me.
"NO, GOD PLEASE! AHHHH!!! AHHHHH!!! NO" a girl screamed
"Dont worry" a man mocked "This WONT be quick" all the other men chuckled.
I have to help her, i cant leave a girl to die. They'll torture her... and plus she may have been escaping the place that everyone else went to. She might have information on them, or even know them. But i have to go back to the campfire i have warmth there and water and plus what can it do? I only have one knife I cant help her! Can i?
Choice:
[Help The Girl] or [Go Back to Campfire]
This one is a little short but things will pick up next episode.
Y'all fanfic writers need to start being more careful with that, seems to happen to a lot of people.
Oooh, finally new chapter!
Can't wait for the next one. 
I just started writing on a new template thingy, i wasnt used to it and messed up the difference than copy and cut
[Help the girl]. I don't know how he's gonna be able to do that but that's what improvisation is for.
Good chapter! Poor Nick...
I have a bit of advice, if you want it. It might be a good idea to vary your onomatopoeias (words that represent sound) and throw in some adverbs, here and there. BAM fits the sound of a gunshot, but doesn't really go with the sound of stomping a head or tripping. For example...
That scene might hit the readers harder if you rewrite it like this...
Switching it up and using descriptive words is a good way to make people feel like they're watching the scene unfold in front of them, rather than just reading about it. Sorry if I'm acting like a backseat driver here, but I thought it might be helpful.
Looking forward to Chapter 2
Thanks for all your criticism it helps a lot.
I'll actually change it now
SIDE NOTE: The level of grammar will drop in Episode 2 since we are in the mind of a 13 year old not a 16 year old.
Bye Nick
Ugh, god everyone is gone. Also i like how we arent Olivia for 5 episodes.
Thank you!
No problem. I volunteer at my university's writing center sometimes, so just let me know if I can be of assistance
Changing the narrators 'voice is' a really cool idea. I don't write in the 1st Person very often, so I never would've thought of that. Looking forward to it.
Okay I'm delaying part 2 until I find a good website to write on, the last one ended terribly. It couldn't let me copy and then cut all my work TWICE.
Firstworldstruggles
FUCK BAD WEBSITES
ill try and finish it tonight for you guys, but dont kill me if i dont. It was incredibly annoying
I'm a little late but, here.
So many dead Nicks. =(
Nick was my character, at least he rests in peace now. ;(
Okay, finished part 2 it was really fun to write (evern though i had to re write it 2 times)
The Walking North Part 2 Episode 2 'islotated' (You and 100% of reader want Willy to save the girl)
I couldnt let them kill her, i just cant.
I walk towards them and make myself visible, i am only about 15 feet away from them.
"Hey!" The guy yells pointing his rifle at me "If you move you one more foot you little FUCKIN' runt i will end you"
"I... I d-dont want to hurt anyone" i stutter
"YOU dont want to hurt anyone?" the man says and then chuckles "You want to take me or something? ill beat the shit out of you"
"Please just let her go..." I say looking at the girl, she is white with brown hair and green eyes she is maybe around 14 shes probably from a settlement. They trapped her in a fishnet and she is staring at me.
All the men chuckle
"Just shoot him" one of the other men say and the guy aims his gun at me
BAM!
He missed me but i hit the ground, i have to act fast. i remember what Riley taught me "Stay calm, flick the wrist, aim straight" I whisper. I grab the knife out of my pocket.
I turn around and face him and push my arm forward with the knife in my hand, I flick my wrist and the knife releases it rockets right for him and then goes through his forehead.
"OWWW FUCK!" He screams in pain and pulls the knife out of his forehead.
He takes the knife out and it drops near the fishing net, then he collapses on the ground.
I slowly step back.
"Marcus? You there?" One of the bandits say
"He's DEAD BECAUSE OF THIS FUCKER!!" A man yells at me
"Shoot him and the girl!" another one yells, i look over to the girl.
She had ripped open the fish net with Riley's knife and managed to escape in the woods.
BAM!
A rifle bullet nearly blew my face off, i turn around and run into the woods
BAM!
I keep running and think about what i should do next
Where do i go? I cant go back to camp they'll find me.. thats when i think of a really good spot.
The cliff.
If i manage to hang off of the cliff then he will be running so fast he wont notice and maybe fall off of the edge.
"I hear you" a voice says behind me in the distance "Im going to get you"
Oh god oh god, i pick up my pace. The cliff isnt very far but i need to see if he's behind me.
I turn my head around and he's not there, when i turn back i am blinded by leaves and trip over a rock.
My vision blurrs for a second and then feel a painful feeling in my hand.
"OH GOD!" I scream and i look at my hand, it has a stick in it. It must've gone through my flesh when i fell.
"Oh no.." i cry as i close my eyes and pull it out. Blood oozes onto my arm..
"ive got you now" a voice says and i turn around and look up.
One of the bandits is over me with a rifle aimed at my forehead, i panic and kick the rifle off of him and it lands in the bushes.
"You little fucker!" he snarles and grabs my leg. I'm being pulled backwards.
"PLEASE LET ME GO!!" I scream
He wasnt going to let me go, then i remember what to do... when i was younger i used to playfight with my brothers a lot and we all had a secert weapon. Mine was my long sharp finger nails.
I turn my head around and took my hand that doesnt have a hole in it and i dug my nails into his arm i pulled my fingernails down ripping his arm up.
"OH GOD!" he screams in pain and releases me, then i escape him and run for the cliff.
Its only about 20 feet away and i head right for it.
I get to the cliff and nearly fall off it, theres no warning that theres a 20 foot cliff only inches away from trees and grass.
I see an area that i can safely hang off of and go to it, i begin hanging off the cliff. When i look down i notice i can climb down the cliff, if this works or if it fails.
Then i hear footsteps and hug the cliff hoping he doesnt fall right over me and bring me down.
i hear him try to slow down once he notices theres a cliff, its too late.
"NOO!" he screams as his legs go flying into the air and his head hits the edge of the cliff which makes a cracking sound. He rolls down the cliff until he slams onto the ground at the bottom face first.
A pool of blood forms around his face and neck.
I climb down the cliff careful not to hurt my hand, it needs to be cleaned or it might get infected.
When I hit the bottom of the ground and walk over to the man, his rifle is laying on the ground and looks as if it survived the fall.
I pick up the rifle and take several bullets from his pocket.
Suddenly the girl goes running by me, she is in the woods past the stream.
Making sure i see if anyone is after her, nobody is. She mustve lost them and doesnt know it.
"Hey wait up!" i yell to her
"Leave me alone, please!" she screams
I cross the stream and run after her, the woods here are more dense here. Probably because its further away from the road..
BAM!
A gunshot goes off in front of her, it was one of the guys.
I guess he knew where she was running and cut her off, he doesnt see me.
He throws another fishnet at her but she dodges, however she trips over it.
I panic and throw her the rifle with a bullet in it.
She picks up the rifle
BAM!
The guy fires at her but misses she kicks him in the stomach.
She grabs the rifle again and pulls it back, he gets up again and kicks her in the face. He then grabs her leg and pulls her backwards.
She screams pointing at me "LOOK! ITS HIM!!!"
the man stands up and runs at me
"YOU LITTLE FUCKER!" he screams "HOW DARE YOU KILL HI-"
BAM!
He falls to the ground and behind him is the girl with the rifle aimed at him, she shot him in the back of the head.
"Heres your rifle" she says handing me the rifle
"Thanks" i say softly "For saving me"
She smiles "Well you saved me before so its no big deal, whats your name?... Your white name"
"Willy" i say smiling "Whats your name? Your white name of course"
She laughs "I am WHITE, i dont have an indian name"
"I know" I say "I was kidding"
"Melissa, my names Melissa. I was with my parents before these guys" she snarles looking at his body which is mow behind us as we walk.
"What happened?" I ask as we walk back towards the road
"Well we were walking to Vancouver and they came out of nowhere. Shot my parents and took me and 4 other girls. We got to this community and"
"Wait" I say cutting her off "My friends got taken, are they there??"
"Probably" she says "They have stolen hundereds of teengaers in the north"
"What do they do to them?" i ask
"The girls are sold..." she tells me
"Sold?" I say "Like sex s-"
"Yep" she says cutting me off
"Can you take me there, maybe get my friends free?" i beg "please?"
"Wish i could" she smiles "But when me and my four friends planned to escape, i was the only one that managed to survive. They found out what we were doing, rounded us up and excuted 2 of them... that night i knew i was going to be sold if i didnt escape. So me and my 2 friends escaped, 1 got shot and the other sacrificed herself for me to leave"
"Oh.." I ask "What do they do to the guys"
"The guys?" She tells me while looking down "they work on this farm they are making to sell food for gas, sex, etc. but they only have males that are old enough to work hard i guess"
So thats why i was left with Nick, because we werent old enough.
"So what happened to your hand?" she asked me
"A stick went in it while i tripped trying to escape" I mutter
"Oh.." Melissa trails off.
Theres an awkward pause as we now walk along the road
"Fine" she says
"What?" I exclaim a bit startled
"Ill help you get your friends back we just need a c-" She suddenly pauses looking at the road "Oh oh god, oh god NO willy it might be one of them RUN!!"
"HUH?" i yell as Melissa sprints into the forest "MELISSA?!?" all i can hear are her footsteps.
I turn around and see a car driving towards me, i squint my eyes.
Oh god it could be one of them..
Wait theres no way it could be.. theres only one guy in the Truck.
He sees me and starts driving faster towards me
I cant hear Melissa anymore.
Vote in the comments this time
[Ask for a ride] or [Go after Melissa]
Heres a list of all characters current fates to stay updated.
Characters:
Willy (Alive)
Melissa (Alive)
Olivia (unknown)
Katherine (unknown)
Riley (unknown)
Carson (unknown)
Zack (unknown)
Andrew (unknown)
Bandit #4 (unknown)
Bandit #5 (unknown)
Marcus (Dead)
Bandit #2 (Dead)
Bandit #3 (Dead)
Nick (Dead)
Elizabeth (Dead)
Noah (Dead)
Barton (Dead)
Sister Nicole (Dead)
Principal Charles (Dead)
[Go after Melissa]
[ Run after Melissia]. I like the new character! Sex slave camps, damn that's some Balkan War-level shit. :O
Principal Fucking Charles. I forgot about that creepy bastard!
I think i killed him off to quickly, i really miss writing him actually.