Chapter 11: Stragglers
Grace Peters
People always used to tell Grace she was special. She never believed them. They told her that she … morewas good at leading people, and she didn't believe them then either. She hated when people put her above others. She knew she was the same as her and she wanted that fact to go uncorrupted. She was only as simple as they would let her be. She enjoyed being simple. That was her.
"Let me have a look." Quentin said emotionlessly, leaning down to Leo's limp body. "If it's like you say, He could already be gone."
"What do you mean?" Grace asked frantically. "We sealed up the wound. The bleeding stopped. How could he be dead?"
"He may have lost too much blood." He replied, taking Leo's hand in his, checking his pulse. "It's a long shot. I'll do everything I can to help your friend, but I can't guarantee anything."
Noah took her by the shoulder and spun her around. "C'mon, Grace. Let's give the docto… [view original content]
Chapter 11: Stragglers
Grace Peters
People always used to tell Grace she was special. She never believed them. They told her that she … morewas good at leading people, and she didn't believe them then either. She hated when people put her above others. She knew she was the same as her and she wanted that fact to go uncorrupted. She was only as simple as they would let her be. She enjoyed being simple. That was her.
"Let me have a look." Quentin said emotionlessly, leaning down to Leo's limp body. "If it's like you say, He could already be gone."
"What do you mean?" Grace asked frantically. "We sealed up the wound. The bleeding stopped. How could he be dead?"
"He may have lost too much blood." He replied, taking Leo's hand in his, checking his pulse. "It's a long shot. I'll do everything I can to help your friend, but I can't guarantee anything."
Noah took her by the shoulder and spun her around. "C'mon, Grace. Let's give the docto… [view original content]
Chapter 11: Stragglers
Grace Peters
People always used to tell Grace she was special. She never believed them. They told her that she … morewas good at leading people, and she didn't believe them then either. She hated when people put her above others. She knew she was the same as her and she wanted that fact to go uncorrupted. She was only as simple as they would let her be. She enjoyed being simple. That was her.
"Let me have a look." Quentin said emotionlessly, leaning down to Leo's limp body. "If it's like you say, He could already be gone."
"What do you mean?" Grace asked frantically. "We sealed up the wound. The bleeding stopped. How could he be dead?"
"He may have lost too much blood." He replied, taking Leo's hand in his, checking his pulse. "It's a long shot. I'll do everything I can to help your friend, but I can't guarantee anything."
Noah took her by the shoulder and spun her around. "C'mon, Grace. Let's give the docto… [view original content]
Chapter 11: Stragglers
Grace Peters
People always used to tell Grace she was special. She never believed them. They told her that she … morewas good at leading people, and she didn't believe them then either. She hated when people put her above others. She knew she was the same as her and she wanted that fact to go uncorrupted. She was only as simple as they would let her be. She enjoyed being simple. That was her.
"Let me have a look." Quentin said emotionlessly, leaning down to Leo's limp body. "If it's like you say, He could already be gone."
"What do you mean?" Grace asked frantically. "We sealed up the wound. The bleeding stopped. How could he be dead?"
"He may have lost too much blood." He replied, taking Leo's hand in his, checking his pulse. "It's a long shot. I'll do everything I can to help your friend, but I can't guarantee anything."
Noah took her by the shoulder and spun her around. "C'mon, Grace. Let's give the docto… [view original content]
All right we're right in the middle of part 1! I'd appreciate it if you guys would give some feedback.
* Who is your favorite character… more?
* What was your favorite chapter?
* What do you think will happen next?
* Any recommendations for improvement?
I'm not good at this so I won't even try Well people will die and shit
Your writing is very good, much better than mine for example One thing that feels weird sometimes are the sudden changes between third-person narrative and first-person narrative.
All right we're right in the middle of part 1! I'd appreciate it if you guys would give some feedback.
* Who is your favorite character… more?
* What was your favorite chapter?
* What do you think will happen next?
* Any recommendations for improvement?
Don't sell yourself short. Your writing is some of the best I've seen on the forums. And those sudden changes from third person to first person are accidents. I originally just had grace's chapters as the books and it was in first person. I tried to convert it, so I may have made a few mistakes. Those are over now though. Chapter 11 was the last chapter like that
* Ummm... I'd say Isaac
* Chapter 9
* I'm not good at this so I won't even try Well people will die and shit
* Your writing is ve… morery good, much better than mine for example One thing that feels weird sometimes are the sudden changes between third-person narrative and first-person narrative.
Okay, good to know. And it's not like that kind of narrative changes wouldn't be used in literature, they are just "highlighted" with italics or something like that. Anyway, looking forward for future chapters!
Don't sell yourself short. Your writing is some of the best I've seen on the forums. And those sudden changes from third person to first per… moreson are accidents. I originally just had grace's chapters as the books and it was in first person. I tried to convert it, so I may have made a few mistakes. Those are over now though. Chapter 11 was the last chapter like that
Okay, good to know. And it's not like that kind of narrative changes wouldn't be used in literature, they are just "highlighted" with italics or something like that. Anyway, looking forward for future chapters!
And thanks for the kind words
Chapter 11: Stragglers
Grace Peters
People always used to tell Grace she was special. She never believed them. They told her that she … morewas good at leading people, and she didn't believe them then either. She hated when people put her above others. She knew she was the same as her and she wanted that fact to go uncorrupted. She was only as simple as they would let her be. She enjoyed being simple. That was her.
"Let me have a look." Quentin said emotionlessly, leaning down to Leo's limp body. "If it's like you say, He could already be gone."
"What do you mean?" Grace asked frantically. "We sealed up the wound. The bleeding stopped. How could he be dead?"
"He may have lost too much blood." He replied, taking Leo's hand in his, checking his pulse. "It's a long shot. I'll do everything I can to help your friend, but I can't guarantee anything."
Noah took her by the shoulder and spun her around. "C'mon, Grace. Let's give the docto… [view original content]
"Yeah, I know what happened to them..." Grace answered softly. She barely had the heart to tell her what they found when they discovered this house last night. But she was going to tell her, Natalie was going to learn the truth.
"Well...?" She asked, expecting an answer.
"Yeah, we found them when we got here last night." Grace told her. "Noah and I hauled them out back. We buried them... we thought that's only what they deserved, though we never even said a word to them. I'm sorry..."
Natalie's eyes became full of disbelief. "They're dead...?" She looked to the woman on the other side of the couch, wanting with all of her heart and mind that the words she was speaking were not true. "Are they dead? They can't be."
"Dead as a door nail. You don't believe it, you can go back in the backyard and see for yourself." Noah replied, standing up from the wall and perching himself on the arm of the couch. He stood over the rest of the people in the room as if he was above their problems. But he didn't seem arrogant. He seemed...noble. It was a trait that didn't seem suiting from a man who'd spent the last few years homeless. Although, he had only said he was homeless...not helpless.
Natalie's eyes fell towards the ground. Grace could see the fear and the disbelief in them. It was fear and disbelief that was contained in them, not mourning. She looked back up, seeking more confirmation. "What happened to them?"
Grace sighed. "You don't want to know." She found it difficult to remove the image of the dead couple from her mine. It was ingrained there like the face of Ashley. No matter how many times she tried to block it out, it kept rising to the surface like rotten fruit.
Natalie wiped something off her cheek that Grace assumed was a tear before she stood up and stormed from the cabin. "Natalie!" Winston shouted, running after her.
"No, not now!" Laura caught him by the shoulder. "She's mourning. Leave her be."
"No, you don't get it!" Winston cried, tearing the girl's arms away from him. "She's dangerous when she gets like this. I've seen her like this before?"
"What do you mean?" Grace asked him, leaning down to where he stood.
"She just gets angry..." The boy replied. "She breaks things..."
"Well, either way, she's on the other side of that wall." Laura told him, patting him on the back in a comforting way. "She's got nothing to break out there except fire logs, okay?"
Winston didn't seem fully convinced, yet gave up anyway, seeing reason in Laura's eyes. She had a very persuading tone about her. "Okay..." He spoke, and hopped back onto the couch he sat in originally. He resumed talking to Katherine, who seemed very shaken up.
When Laura finished up talking to the boy, she turned to Grace and Noah and placed her hands at her sides. "Will you two come talk with me?"
"Sure." Grace replied. Noah was more skeptical, but eventually he agreed and followed the two of them. Grace led them through the hallway into the room opposite the one Leo and Quentin were in. With a hush, she closed the door behind them.
Laura sat down on the bed and Grace at the desk. Noah remained standing. "So, as I'm sure you can tell, our group, is...kind of fragile. I mean what do you expect from a bunch of people who just know each other from riding on the same bus at the wrong time?" Laura told them. "They don't like to trust anyone, but I can see you two are honest people. I don't know your friend in there with Quentin, but I'm sure you're all in the same boat."
"Yer point?" Noah replied.
"My point is, I want you to know they're not all bad." She gestured back towards the room out in the hall. "Sebastian's mouth is too big, but he's not a bad guy. He saved our lives back in Atlanta. He's the reason we're all alive right now, so don't be so hard on him. It's likely that he'll eventually save yours too. I know he comes across like an ass, but he's just loud."
"His mouth is smaller now." Noah chuckled to himself, running a hand through his beard. Grace managed a chuckle herself, remembering the teeth that had fallen out.
"Him and Natalie argue a lot, but they're generally harmless." She continued. "Jared and Kate have been through hell. They're basically all either of them have left. She's probably not going to talk to us for a while, but that's just her. She's shy."
Grace nodded. "I met Jared, out on the road. I only talked to him for a split-second but he seemed like a good guy."
"Yeah, he is. Just wait til you talk to him. He's hilarious." Laura smiled. "Anyway, Quentin...yeah... No one knows anything about Quentin. He's just as reserved as Kate is, if not more. However, that guy does not have an enthused husband to tell us all about his life. He's a doctor. That's pretty much all we know."
This wasn't anything to form an opinion off of for Grace. She hadn't gotten a strong vibe from him when he was healing Leo, yet he could tell he had a very vivid personality he was trying to conceal. She didn't know what it was. "What's Winston and Natalie's story?" Grace asked. "She called him her son... What's that about?"
"I didn't really want to ask either." She sighed. "All I know is he's not adopted. So...maybe she's the godmother? Or something or other? Anyway, Winston's a sweet kid. Don't be hard on him. And Natalie... I'm not gonna lie. Natalie's a bit of a bitch."
"Control freak?"
"Control freak."
Noah walked forward toward them and sat down beside the bed, locking his eyes on hers. "And you? What's your story, Laura Paul...?"
"Me? I'm nothing special." She laughed. "I'm just a generic girl trying to get her family back. My parents are dead. My brother is off at college. These people are all I have left. Yadda yadda yadda. Let's talk about you."
"I'm sorry..." Grace told her, looking her in the eye with empathy. "So you're the leader of your little group?"
"Nah." She replied. "We don't really have a leader. We're just a bunch of people trying to survive. Sebastien likes to think he's the leader because he's a cop. Natalie's just a control freak. I'm just a girl who can think things through. Like I said, I'm nothing special."
"You got them all here safely." Noah contradicted her. "You were in the city. Not just any 'generic girl' could think of a plan like you had."
Laura frowned. "Anyone could think of something like that if they aren't busy running from biters. Just stop and think. That's what my dad used to say. It's something my brother never excelled at..."
Grace sighed and sat back in her chair. "If you're not the leader, then why is it you in here talking to us and not one of them? You seem like the voice of your little minivan group."
"Because Sebastien's three teeth lighter, Jared's down in Savannah, Natalie's not in her right mind, Kate's not gonna talk to you, Winston's ten years old, and Quentin's fixing your damn friend. I'm not the leader. Stop making me out to be. I don't want to be the leader."
"Fair enough..." Grace replied. She didn't know what to make of the girl. She very much did seem like the leader, yet she claimed not to be. One thing was for sure. This girl was smart... Smarter than her... Smarter than Noah... She was certainly smarter than the rest of her group.
"Now, I know you guys are new, and most of my group won't trust you for a while, but they'll come to know you, as long as you don't do anything stupid." She shot a glance to Noah. He seemed a bit hurt, but then remembered how he had punched Sebastien in the face and realized it was justified. "You seem smart. You know your way around the dead. You're still alive. That's why we're all gonna stay in this cabin together, okay? You and us... It's just us now."
"You guys all seem to know a lot about these dead people..." Grace stated. "So tell me... How do you get to be so adept in the ways of the apocalypse when only a day has passed."
Laura laughed, but then realized the woman in front of her was dead serious. She turned to Noah and raised an eyebrow. "Is she kidding? Where has she been?"
Grace was confused for a moment before she glared up at the other man in the room. "Noah...how long was I in that car?"
He sighed and took off his stocking cap for a moment, cleaning it from the dirt it was soaked with. He looked directly in her eyes and that same sort of feeling of empathy resonated between each of them. "Four...maybe five days... It's been a week, Grace..."
You will get use to it, and when you get use to it it will be like this...
Character 1 and Character 2 talk happy take decision make tee, love and etc - - - - - - - - - - - - and rest will simple be there and watch of course Noah show it self in there but all chars should change to speak for them self don't you think?
sorry I am tired I don't think strait, "normal" is ok it was good
You will get use to it, and when you get use to it it will be like this...
Character 1 and Character 2 talk happy take decision make tee,… more love and etc - - - - - - - - - - - - and rest will simple be there and watch of course Noah show it self in there but all chars should change to speak for them self don't you think?
sorry I am tired I don't think strait, "normal" is ok it was good
Comments
Offscreen [A. Tell the truth.]
[A. Tell the truth.] why lie? lol
Awesome Chapter!!!!
Cause it's an upsetting truth haha
[A. Tell the truth.]
And i think you should update the character list
Ah yes. Thank you for reminding me.
[Tell the truth] let's hope she takes it well...
Oh what do you think of your characters? Some of yours are there
Can't promise anything :P
:O that's not promising...lmao
Great!!!
Sweet.
Promising is not the walking dead haha
That is very very true O.O
Yeah.
Ah I see you carry a distinct fondness for a certain character named Janet.
Noah, Anna and Rose probably
Yeah. Noah and Rose are badass. I enjoy writing them.
Ummm... I'd say Isaac
Chapter 9
I'm not good at this so I won't even try Well people will die and shit
Your writing is very good, much better than mine for example One thing that feels weird sometimes are the sudden changes between third-person narrative and first-person narrative.
Don't sell yourself short. Your writing is some of the best I've seen on the forums. And those sudden changes from third person to first person are accidents. I originally just had grace's chapters as the books and it was in first person. I tried to convert it, so I may have made a few mistakes. Those are over now though. Chapter 11 was the last chapter like that
Okay, good to know. And it's not like that kind of narrative changes wouldn't be used in literature, they are just "highlighted" with italics or something like that. Anyway, looking forward for future chapters!
And thanks for the kind words
No problem haha
It's 5 o'clock and Im closing the vote. This one was pretty obvious. Natalie's getting a huge steaming platter of truth.
[A. Tell the truth.] Great chapter
Thanks
How did you know? :P
I'm just cool like that.
Good luck to her...
Damn, missed the voting. But I would have voted for the truth either way. Great chapter again, though I start to seriously dislike Sebastien.
Votes gonna be 100% anyway. Sebastien's gonna get a bit better. He's just kind of rash.
No that is twerk, profesional twerk I mean the real ones aaa wrestling
100% of readers chose to [A. Tell the truth.]
"Yeah, I know what happened to them..." Grace answered softly. She barely had the heart to tell her what they found when they discovered this house last night. But she was going to tell her, Natalie was going to learn the truth.
"Well...?" She asked, expecting an answer.
"Yeah, we found them when we got here last night." Grace told her. "Noah and I hauled them out back. We buried them... we thought that's only what they deserved, though we never even said a word to them. I'm sorry..."
Natalie's eyes became full of disbelief. "They're dead...?" She looked to the woman on the other side of the couch, wanting with all of her heart and mind that the words she was speaking were not true. "Are they dead? They can't be."
"Dead as a door nail. You don't believe it, you can go back in the backyard and see for yourself." Noah replied, standing up from the wall and perching himself on the arm of the couch. He stood over the rest of the people in the room as if he was above their problems. But he didn't seem arrogant. He seemed...noble. It was a trait that didn't seem suiting from a man who'd spent the last few years homeless. Although, he had only said he was homeless...not helpless.
Natalie's eyes fell towards the ground. Grace could see the fear and the disbelief in them. It was fear and disbelief that was contained in them, not mourning. She looked back up, seeking more confirmation. "What happened to them?"
Grace sighed. "You don't want to know." She found it difficult to remove the image of the dead couple from her mine. It was ingrained there like the face of Ashley. No matter how many times she tried to block it out, it kept rising to the surface like rotten fruit.
Natalie wiped something off her cheek that Grace assumed was a tear before she stood up and stormed from the cabin. "Natalie!" Winston shouted, running after her.
"No, not now!" Laura caught him by the shoulder. "She's mourning. Leave her be."
"No, you don't get it!" Winston cried, tearing the girl's arms away from him. "She's dangerous when she gets like this. I've seen her like this before?"
"What do you mean?" Grace asked him, leaning down to where he stood.
"She just gets angry..." The boy replied. "She breaks things..."
"Well, either way, she's on the other side of that wall." Laura told him, patting him on the back in a comforting way. "She's got nothing to break out there except fire logs, okay?"
Winston didn't seem fully convinced, yet gave up anyway, seeing reason in Laura's eyes. She had a very persuading tone about her. "Okay..." He spoke, and hopped back onto the couch he sat in originally. He resumed talking to Katherine, who seemed very shaken up.
When Laura finished up talking to the boy, she turned to Grace and Noah and placed her hands at her sides. "Will you two come talk with me?"
"Sure." Grace replied. Noah was more skeptical, but eventually he agreed and followed the two of them. Grace led them through the hallway into the room opposite the one Leo and Quentin were in. With a hush, she closed the door behind them.
Laura sat down on the bed and Grace at the desk. Noah remained standing. "So, as I'm sure you can tell, our group, is...kind of fragile. I mean what do you expect from a bunch of people who just know each other from riding on the same bus at the wrong time?" Laura told them. "They don't like to trust anyone, but I can see you two are honest people. I don't know your friend in there with Quentin, but I'm sure you're all in the same boat."
"Yer point?" Noah replied.
"My point is, I want you to know they're not all bad." She gestured back towards the room out in the hall. "Sebastian's mouth is too big, but he's not a bad guy. He saved our lives back in Atlanta. He's the reason we're all alive right now, so don't be so hard on him. It's likely that he'll eventually save yours too. I know he comes across like an ass, but he's just loud."
"His mouth is smaller now." Noah chuckled to himself, running a hand through his beard. Grace managed a chuckle herself, remembering the teeth that had fallen out.
"Him and Natalie argue a lot, but they're generally harmless." She continued. "Jared and Kate have been through hell. They're basically all either of them have left. She's probably not going to talk to us for a while, but that's just her. She's shy."
Grace nodded. "I met Jared, out on the road. I only talked to him for a split-second but he seemed like a good guy."
"Yeah, he is. Just wait til you talk to him. He's hilarious." Laura smiled. "Anyway, Quentin...yeah... No one knows anything about Quentin. He's just as reserved as Kate is, if not more. However, that guy does not have an enthused husband to tell us all about his life. He's a doctor. That's pretty much all we know."
This wasn't anything to form an opinion off of for Grace. She hadn't gotten a strong vibe from him when he was healing Leo, yet he could tell he had a very vivid personality he was trying to conceal. She didn't know what it was. "What's Winston and Natalie's story?" Grace asked. "She called him her son... What's that about?"
"I didn't really want to ask either." She sighed. "All I know is he's not adopted. So...maybe she's the godmother? Or something or other? Anyway, Winston's a sweet kid. Don't be hard on him. And Natalie... I'm not gonna lie. Natalie's a bit of a bitch."
"Control freak?"
"Control freak."
Noah walked forward toward them and sat down beside the bed, locking his eyes on hers. "And you? What's your story, Laura Paul...?"
"Me? I'm nothing special." She laughed. "I'm just a generic girl trying to get her family back. My parents are dead. My brother is off at college. These people are all I have left. Yadda yadda yadda. Let's talk about you."
"I'm sorry..." Grace told her, looking her in the eye with empathy. "So you're the leader of your little group?"
"Nah." She replied. "We don't really have a leader. We're just a bunch of people trying to survive. Sebastien likes to think he's the leader because he's a cop. Natalie's just a control freak. I'm just a girl who can think things through. Like I said, I'm nothing special."
"You got them all here safely." Noah contradicted her. "You were in the city. Not just any 'generic girl' could think of a plan like you had."
Laura frowned. "Anyone could think of something like that if they aren't busy running from biters. Just stop and think. That's what my dad used to say. It's something my brother never excelled at..."
Grace sighed and sat back in her chair. "If you're not the leader, then why is it you in here talking to us and not one of them? You seem like the voice of your little minivan group."
"Because Sebastien's three teeth lighter, Jared's down in Savannah, Natalie's not in her right mind, Kate's not gonna talk to you, Winston's ten years old, and Quentin's fixing your damn friend. I'm not the leader. Stop making me out to be. I don't want to be the leader."
"Fair enough..." Grace replied. She didn't know what to make of the girl. She very much did seem like the leader, yet she claimed not to be. One thing was for sure. This girl was smart... Smarter than her... Smarter than Noah... She was certainly smarter than the rest of her group.
"Now, I know you guys are new, and most of my group won't trust you for a while, but they'll come to know you, as long as you don't do anything stupid." She shot a glance to Noah. He seemed a bit hurt, but then remembered how he had punched Sebastien in the face and realized it was justified. "You seem smart. You know your way around the dead. You're still alive. That's why we're all gonna stay in this cabin together, okay? You and us... It's just us now."
"You guys all seem to know a lot about these dead people..." Grace stated. "So tell me... How do you get to be so adept in the ways of the apocalypse when only a day has passed."
Laura laughed, but then realized the woman in front of her was dead serious. She turned to Noah and raised an eyebrow. "Is she kidding? Where has she been?"
Grace was confused for a moment before she glared up at the other man in the room. "Noah...how long was I in that car?"
He sighed and took off his stocking cap for a moment, cleaning it from the dirt it was soaked with. He looked directly in her eyes and that same sort of feeling of empathy resonated between each of them. "Four...maybe five days... It's been a week, Grace..."
End of Chapter 11
Um...bump. No one seemed to notice I updated.
Been busy, sorry. It was a good chapter though
Haha thanks. What do you think of Laura? I spent a lot of this part on her
you shouldn't...
Why not?
You will get use to it, and when you get use to it it will be like this...
Character 1 and Character 2 talk happy take decision make tee, love and etc - - - - - - - - - - - - and rest will simple be there and watch of course Noah show it self in there but all chars should change to speak for them self don't you think?
sorry I am tired I don't think strait, "normal" is ok it was good
Oh no, other characters will get their chance to shine too, but I can't have all of them talk at once. This is Laura's time.