Bedburg is a town in the North-Rhine Westphallia region of Germany where a man named Peter Stubble committed serial murders in the late 16th century. his crimes were very grotesque and sub-human. Cattle mutilation, Cannibalism, Rape, Dismemberment, Incest and many more other sickening things. when he was caught he confessed to the crimes and said that he was a were-wolf. we now believe he suffered from clinical lycanthropy ( a disease were you believe yourself to be a were-wolf, yes, such a condition exists ). He was then placed upon a catherine wheel (sound familiar?) before being beheaded.
As always, it's nice to see a new name writing in this thread. It been quite a while since we've last had one join, come to think of it. Wel… morecome to the story thread! Hopefully you'll consider making more parts soon.
Overall, I liked it! The descriptions were picturesque and I like how your Fable is a hunter. Don't worry about it starting slow, most beginnings are usually like that. Unfortunately, I don't get the Bedburg reference, but I'm sure my other storytellers will.
An idea popped into my head quite literally in the middle of the night. After much thinking and viewing of these forums, I have decided to s… moretart up my own account to post this story. I am always being told by my English teacher that I must become an author. This will serve as practice.
Do keep in mind; this is my first attempt at writing anything outside of short stories and school assignments. I apologise in advance if this is not up to a certain level of quality you deem acceptable.
I am happy to receive your opinion, good or bad.
CHAPTER ONE: just another day
Waking, I slowly and listlessly, rose with a yawn. Rubbing the sleep from my eyes I slowly inspected my surroundings: A small, single room cabin made of fern tree wood, lit by a dim candle on the table to the side of my bed. In the corner to my right is a worn, splintering, three drawer dresser containing my few possessions, mostly meant for hunting.
Walking to the dresser,… [view original content]
Here is Kieron, a man found at the hospital that Alice had bumped into. He has average martial arts and sword capabilities along with the power of using blood to gain magical properties to help him fight. He's silent for the most part and only has about three friends. He is now thrown into what seems to be a fight for wonderland. He has lost his memories but his number one enemy seems to be his childhood friend, maybe when he bumps into him he'll remember it all, or if it's all just a lie...
Sadly this was not done in my sketchpad since I forgot that and my coloring pencils so it came out well but I feel it would have been better if I had those materials. I just wanted people to know what he looked like! All song credit of course goes to LeeandLie on youtube who does English dubs of anime tunes
An idea popped into my head quite literally in the middle of the night. After much thinking and viewing of these forums, I have decided to s… moretart up my own account to post this story. I am always being told by my English teacher that I must become an author. This will serve as practice.
Do keep in mind; this is my first attempt at writing anything outside of short stories and school assignments. I apologise in advance if this is not up to a certain level of quality you deem acceptable.
I am happy to receive your opinion, good or bad.
CHAPTER ONE: just another day
Waking, I slowly and listlessly, rose with a yawn. Rubbing the sleep from my eyes I slowly inspected my surroundings: A small, single room cabin made of fern tree wood, lit by a dim candle on the table to the side of my bed. In the corner to my right is a worn, splintering, three drawer dresser containing my few possessions, mostly meant for hunting.
Walking to the dresser,… [view original content]
As I continued down the path, a fresh scent caught my attention. Repulsive, Smoky, Tra-
Smokey
In the direction of Bedburg
“Fuck”. Dropping the deer pelt I entered a sprint, weaving around the trees towards the source of the scent. I had to be careful. One misstep and I could trip and injure myself on a root, or worse.
Now a new, equally sickening scent entered my senses
Burning Flesh
The smoke was getting thicker as I ran. Very, very thick. The forest was so dense that the smoke could scarce make it above the treetops.
I was so focused on reaching Bedburg I hardly noticed the pain in my chest. Only when I collapsed into a Violent coughing fit did I stop. Reaching for the sleeve of my tunic ripped it off clean in a single movement.
I tied it around my mouth and the back of my neck as a makeshift filter.
The smoke haze became so thick as I continued that the Cloth became useless. The pain came about again. Still, I continued, Through the pain and the coughing and the stinging eyes. I had to reach Bedburg.
My hearing was then tortured.
Screams.
Crying.
Yelling.
Cackling of the fire.
I could see the town now. Log cabins and towers built around the trees. A market replete with beautiful furniture, baskets, vases, silks. A town hall built using the trees as support columns. A school house. Tightly knit streets that a mere 4 yards wide.
All burning
As I kept moving to the towns border, I Finally also noticed I was becoming increasingly light headed.
I kept on moving, struggling to remain conscious. My eyes were blurring from pain, my mouth numb from the taste of smoke, my nose burning, my legs weary, my chest in agony.
As I came to the border all became black.
When I awoke the smoke had dispersed.
Slowly, I rose to my knees. My chest was clear of smoke but still in a small amount of manageable pain. My body was weak all over, mostly in the legs.
I looked about. All was replaced by ash, the trees still standing untouched.
Bodies were all that was left aside from ashes, all of them killed in gruesome ways. Some drawn at the neck, some beheaded and some simply impaled. Completely Indiscriminate killing of Men, Women and children.
Each had a tool or weapon by them. Some had a pitch fork, some a scythe, one a sickle, and a handful with sabres. Even the children had clubs,
The town fought something or someone and lost.
I remained in the kneeling position in what felt like forever before I mustered enough strength to stand.
What was it that had ripped through here?
Standing, I slowly walked to the pile of ash that was once the town hall.
I merely stood there, thinking over my sentiment
I was not close to the people of Bedburg. All I had to do with them was trade. Water for furs and meat. I had no sentiment for this town aside from business. Yet, this scene of murder and torture meant I Couldn’t help but nearly shed a tear for the people here.
As my body recovered in strength, so too did my senses. Magic was definitely at hand, I could literally smell it in the air, but what exactly? the scent of an alloy I had never smelt before then caught my attention. Following the source, I found a gold-coloured long sword, buried under the ashes. It was simple in build and nothing ornate or intricate.
Upon further inspection I found a seal on the hilt
A distinctive Gothic “o” with a solid, bold “z” branching from a curl on the left of the former letter.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: To hell with a slow start. Sudden twist!
Bedburg is a town in the North-Rhine Westphallia region of Germany where a man named Peter Stubble committed serial murders in the late 16th… more century. his crimes were very grotesque and sub-human. Cattle mutilation, Cannibalism, Rape, Dismemberment, Incest and many more other sickening things. when he was caught he confessed to the crimes and said that he was a were-wolf. we now believe he suffered from clinical lycanthropy ( a disease were you believe yourself to be a were-wolf, yes, such a condition exists ). He was then placed upon a catherine wheel (sound familiar?) before being beheaded.
Copy the image link of the picture you want to post, click the image button above the comment text box, paste the link in the bar and click ok. The picture link itself should pop up in the text box as a result before you post it.
If you don't mind, I'll PM you all you need to know up to this point I'll give brief descriptions of the characters and tell you what has h… moreappened and how it all connects to the future, where Harmony and her family are living.
Glad you liked it, I always have issues trying to write fight scenes. I'm better at romance ones, lol XD
I can give a full bio of ALL 36+ of my OC's. I might have to move some things around and correct some stuff to fit in with my universe... I kinda created a Marvel/DC universe in here... but I can make it happen. You have my support.
Yeah I'd hate for some little snot nosed troll to take my precious Porgie clan and do as they please. >:( I've begun making a little (lit… moretle....oh no no. Wrong words. XD) a list of the characters and so forth. I'm assuming we post the finished product to you Hman?
I guess whoever can get the details down first should start the message, my biggest want is for the OC's to be properly detailed.
Like we need: Background story, personality, powers/skills/abilities, and appearance. If we can get all of these down for each OC then minimal questions will be asked in future.
I'm glad you brought these points up because I was actually considering making a separate discussion for the biographies. Fortunately for us… more, I'm not considering it anymore. :P
I'm down with our biographies being archived in a personal message - the question is, who's going to start the message? Should it be me or you? Or does it not matter?
Thanks man.
He did mean it all. Despite it all, he loved his son and even Mary. They just got lost in a world that consumed them both before either knew what happened.
Oh you will, especially when Nick shows up. lol
I think the PM is our best bet so far, since I don't think any of the mods would be willing to do a favor like that for us - assuming they could actually do such a thing on this site to begin with.
Copy the image link of the picture you want to post, click the image button above the comment text box, paste the link in the bar and click ok. The picture link itself should pop up in the text box as a result before you post it.
I don't think it matters tbh...
I guess whoever can get the details down first should start the message, my biggest want is for the OC's … moreto be properly detailed.
Like we need: Background story, personality, powers/skills/abilities, and appearance. If we can get all of these down for each OC then minimal questions will be asked in future.
Very nice descriptions going on here! Painting a picture is exactly what a writer needs to do
That BegBurg reference to Peter Stumpp was well placed, the "Werewolf of BedBurg" he was called. I actually looked up the reference, but you already explained the whole thing to Dragon so I don't get a cookie
An idea popped into my head quite literally in the middle of the night. After much thinking and viewing of these forums, I have decided to s… moretart up my own account to post this story. I am always being told by my English teacher that I must become an author. This will serve as practice.
Do keep in mind; this is my first attempt at writing anything outside of short stories and school assignments. I apologise in advance if this is not up to a certain level of quality you deem acceptable.
I am happy to receive your opinion, good or bad.
CHAPTER ONE: just another day
Waking, I slowly and listlessly, rose with a yawn. Rubbing the sleep from my eyes I slowly inspected my surroundings: A small, single room cabin made of fern tree wood, lit by a dim candle on the table to the side of my bed. In the corner to my right is a worn, splintering, three drawer dresser containing my few possessions, mostly meant for hunting.
Walking to the dresser,… [view original content]
The morbid scene of the fire was very well written, it was like I was there. The Hunter should've soaked the sleeve in water before he tied it on, the wet fabric is denser and keeps the smoke out better
So is that sword from the land of OZ perhaps? We shall see...
CHAPTER 2: Alles brennt
As I continued down the path, a fresh scent caught my attention. Repulsive, Smoky, Tra-
Smokey
In the direc… moretion of Bedburg
“Fuck”. Dropping the deer pelt I entered a sprint, weaving around the trees towards the source of the scent. I had to be careful. One misstep and I could trip and injure myself on a root, or worse.
Now a new, equally sickening scent entered my senses
Burning Flesh
The smoke was getting thicker as I ran. Very, very thick. The forest was so dense that the smoke could scarce make it above the treetops.
I was so focused on reaching Bedburg I hardly noticed the pain in my chest. Only when I collapsed into a Violent coughing fit did I stop. Reaching for the sleeve of my tunic ripped it off clean in a single movement.
I tied it around my mouth and the back of my neck as a makeshift filter.
The smoke haze became so thick as I continued that the Cloth became useless. The pain came … [view original content]
Wilkommen mein Freund
Very nice descriptions going on here! Painting a picture is exactly what a writer needs to do
That BegBurg ref… moreerence to Peter Stumpp was well placed, the "Werewolf of BedBurg" he was called. I actually looked up the reference, but you already explained the whole thing to Dragon so I don't get a cookie
Definitely a twist! :P
The morbid scene of the fire was very well written, it was like I was there. The Hunter should've soaked the sleev… moree in water before he tied it on, the wet fabric is denser and keeps the smoke out better
So is that sword from the land of OZ perhaps? We shall see...
Waiting for more
Yo, welcome to the thread man!
This was very interesting and very detailed, I feel like I've seen it before but I don't remember off the top of my head. Look forward to more!
Firstly, welcome.
This is very deep and interesting writing. It's like I was reading out of a novel and it is always fun to learn about new folklore and legends.
Just read the first chapter of your aforementioned work. Well written AU.
I am picturing Mary and Nick with two "test dummies" tied to chairs of whom they test their killing and torture techniques on, Giving each other feedback on their methods while "amour" by Rammstein plays in the background.
Creepy, disturbing and humerous.....i guess?
Saw in another one of your comments that you're Australian correct?
It's like 6:30pm in Australia right now! This is weird for me, cuz it's 9:30am in England :P
And according to the forum it is 1:20 AM.
Just read the first chapter of your aforementioned work. Well written AU.
I am picturing Mar… morey and Nick with two "test dummies" tied to chairs of whom they test their killing and torture techniques on, Giving each other feedback on their methods while "amour" by Rammstein plays in the background.
Creepy, disturbing and humerous.....i guess?
Comments
Bedburg is a town in the North-Rhine Westphallia region of Germany where a man named Peter Stubble committed serial murders in the late 16th century. his crimes were very grotesque and sub-human. Cattle mutilation, Cannibalism, Rape, Dismemberment, Incest and many more other sickening things. when he was caught he confessed to the crimes and said that he was a were-wolf. we now believe he suffered from clinical lycanthropy ( a disease were you believe yourself to be a were-wolf, yes, such a condition exists ). He was then placed upon a catherine wheel (sound familiar?) before being beheaded.
Firstly, welcome.
This is very deep and interesting writing. It's like I was reading out of a novel and it is always fun to learn about new folklore and legends.
Here is Kieron, a man found at the hospital that Alice had bumped into. He has average martial arts and sword capabilities along with the power of using blood to gain magical properties to help him fight. He's silent for the most part and only has about three friends. He is now thrown into what seems to be a fight for wonderland. He has lost his memories but his number one enemy seems to be his childhood friend, maybe when he bumps into him he'll remember it all, or if it's all just a lie...
Sadly this was not done in my sketchpad since I forgot that and my coloring pencils so it came out well but I feel it would have been better if I had those materials. I just wanted people to know what he looked like!
All song credit of course goes to LeeandLie on youtube who does English dubs of anime tunes 
LeeandLie
Yo, welcome to the thread man!
This was very interesting and very detailed, I feel like I've seen it before but I don't remember off the top of my head. Look forward to more!
CHAPTER 2: Alles brennt
As I continued down the path, a fresh scent caught my attention. Repulsive, Smoky, Tra-
Smokey
In the direction of Bedburg
“Fuck”. Dropping the deer pelt I entered a sprint, weaving around the trees towards the source of the scent. I had to be careful. One misstep and I could trip and injure myself on a root, or worse.
Now a new, equally sickening scent entered my senses
Burning Flesh
The smoke was getting thicker as I ran. Very, very thick. The forest was so dense that the smoke could scarce make it above the treetops.
I was so focused on reaching Bedburg I hardly noticed the pain in my chest. Only when I collapsed into a Violent coughing fit did I stop. Reaching for the sleeve of my tunic ripped it off clean in a single movement.
I tied it around my mouth and the back of my neck as a makeshift filter.
The smoke haze became so thick as I continued that the Cloth became useless. The pain came about again. Still, I continued, Through the pain and the coughing and the stinging eyes. I had to reach Bedburg.
My hearing was then tortured.
Screams.
Crying.
Yelling.
Cackling of the fire.
I could see the town now. Log cabins and towers built around the trees. A market replete with beautiful furniture, baskets, vases, silks. A town hall built using the trees as support columns. A school house. Tightly knit streets that a mere 4 yards wide.
All burning
As I kept moving to the towns border, I Finally also noticed I was becoming increasingly light headed.
I kept on moving, struggling to remain conscious. My eyes were blurring from pain, my mouth numb from the taste of smoke, my nose burning, my legs weary, my chest in agony.
As I came to the border all became black.
When I awoke the smoke had dispersed.
Slowly, I rose to my knees. My chest was clear of smoke but still in a small amount of manageable pain. My body was weak all over, mostly in the legs.
I looked about. All was replaced by ash, the trees still standing untouched.
Bodies were all that was left aside from ashes, all of them killed in gruesome ways. Some drawn at the neck, some beheaded and some simply impaled. Completely Indiscriminate killing of Men, Women and children.
Each had a tool or weapon by them. Some had a pitch fork, some a scythe, one a sickle, and a handful with sabres. Even the children had clubs,
The town fought something or someone and lost.
I remained in the kneeling position in what felt like forever before I mustered enough strength to stand.
What was it that had ripped through here?
Standing, I slowly walked to the pile of ash that was once the town hall.
I merely stood there, thinking over my sentiment
I was not close to the people of Bedburg. All I had to do with them was trade. Water for furs and meat. I had no sentiment for this town aside from business. Yet, this scene of murder and torture meant I Couldn’t help but nearly shed a tear for the people here.
As my body recovered in strength, so too did my senses. Magic was definitely at hand, I could literally smell it in the air, but what exactly? the scent of an alloy I had never smelt before then caught my attention. Following the source, I found a gold-coloured long sword, buried under the ashes. It was simple in build and nothing ornate or intricate.
Upon further inspection I found a seal on the hilt
A distinctive Gothic “o” with a solid, bold “z” branching from a curl on the left of the former letter.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: To hell with a slow start. Sudden twist!
Would someone be so kind as to tell me how to post an image without typing in the URL if such a method exists?
You are welcome, sensei
(Do you mind if I call you that?)
Nah, still nothing. Thanks for the actual info!
Copy the image link of the picture you want to post, click the image button above the comment text box, paste the link in the bar and click ok. The picture link itself should pop up in the text box as a result before you post it.
As long as you don't call me that in every comment, I won't mind.
A PM would be fine
The fight wasn't bad!
Oh man, and I thought my 17 OC's was more than enough :P
Could send it to me for safe keeping...
But what do I do with it then?
I don't think it matters tbh...
I guess whoever can get the details down first should start the message, my biggest want is for the OC's to be properly detailed.
Like we need: Background story, personality, powers/skills/abilities, and appearance. If we can get all of these down for each OC then minimal questions will be asked in future.
Oh I'm excited for Nick's arrival!!!! XD
Poor Gren...
I knew it was a long-shot...
Thank you, Sensei, King of the threads and protecter of the forums
I shall dedicate my first picture post to the master of metal music pyrotechnics
I might ask Blind Sniper sometime later about it, since I'm curious myself.
I'll send you and the others a message later then!
When I thank you then?
Sure, lol.
Arigatou gozaimus, Sensei
Thank you, Teacher
XD
Wilkommen mein Freund
Very nice descriptions going on here! Painting a picture is exactly what a writer needs to do
That BegBurg reference to Peter Stumpp was well placed, the "Werewolf of BedBurg" he was called. I actually looked up the reference, but you already explained the whole thing to Dragon so I don't get a cookie
If it can be done then you should be the first to have access cuz you're the thread master (I am serious)
Definitely a twist! :P
The morbid scene of the fire was very well written, it was like I was there. The Hunter should've soaked the sleeve in water before he tied it on, the wet fabric is denser and keeps the smoke out better
So is that sword from the land of OZ perhaps? We shall see...
Waiting for more
Cool
Your post includes german, praise for my story and you are a cool guy
You get a cookie, DragonButter gets one, Tetra gets-fuck it, COOKIES FOR ALL AUTHORS ON THIS THREAD!
Thank you, o fellow fan of great music.
Do you have any works on this thread? I would be interested to see them.
I would be interested in reading this other story you say is similar
If you remember it, do tell me please. No pressure.
thank you
Exactly what I was aiming for in the writing style. I am relieved to know I succeeded. I was very pessimistic about this work (the irony).
I have a story on here called Devils and Demons, the first chapter is on page 115 I think...
I shall check that out when I have the time. Something just came up.
Saw in another one of your comments that you're Australian correct?
It's like 6:30pm in Australia right now! This is weird for me, cuz it's 9:30am in England :P
And according to the forum it is 1:20 AM.
Just read the first chapter of your aforementioned work. Well written AU.
I am picturing Mary and Nick with two "test dummies" tied to chairs of whom they test their killing and torture techniques on, Giving each other feedback on their methods while "amour" by Rammstein plays in the background.
Creepy, disturbing and humerous.....i guess?
Yeah I don't know what time zone the forum follows :P
Nick doesn't need the practice, TRUST ME! XD
I didn't like the song Amour, too calm for me
Beats one direction by a very long mile.
A very, very long mile.
Oh definitely!
I just noticed the convo you and Dragon had. I'm assuming we just wait until he PM's us.
That's the plan it seems