Brothers of The Night's Watch - Share your tale!
So if it isn't made PAINFULLY obvious to any of you yet. People get sent to the wall for serious reasons, for protection or the dumbest shit ever.
The aim of this thread is to allow you to be creative. Wether you want to be serious with a decent/good backstory or just tell a hilarious tale of how you ended up as a brother of the nights watch. Post it here. Let your freedom flow and most importantly. Look out for dem white walkers.
P.S Don't fuck potatos
Sign in to comment in this discussion.
Comments
Nope.
Are there any females at the Night's Watch?
Dang it.
I got sent to the wall for escaping my sentencing to the wall
Females would provoke some unsavory brothers to break their vows by raping or just having sex with the woman, but if you want to let your creativity flow, I guess you could say you're a woman acting as a man, like arya did in the second season
Reader's discretion is advised (I don't wanna hear any rude comments warned ya
I was out drinking ail late at night celebrating King Tommen's inauguration as protector of the realm with a few of my close and trusted friends. I had an idea about riding to Winterfell to piss on left over rubble. My friends stepped in and advised me not to only for me to punch every one of them in the genitals and left them near a horse's den. I was stopped by Lannister soldiers just before leaving King's Landing. I refused to cooperate with any of them but instead exposed myself, defecated and ran off into the woods saying "White Walkers ain't got shit on me, bitches" I was found an hour later in a pool of my own vomit and wounds from my waist down. I was thrown in the black cells where to my fortune a fellow friend was waiting to bail me out. I referred to him as "my main bitch" and told him to bring me "some fookin potatoes". He bailed me out and let me ride horseback to my hut. According to him I made some inappropriate gestures and comments about his betrothed and his 10 year old daughter. He made sure I got back to my hut alright but moments later he saw me jump out naked once again with a bottle of wine in one hand and a knife in the other as I once again ran into the woods. The written report says some men found me doing unholy and unspeakable acts involving cheese and a pig I stole from the Tuttle's farm. Tywin Lannister told me what was written about me were the most disgusting, inconceivable acts ever committed in Westeros and even Aerys Targareyan himself would look at it and cry. Not wanting to waste good rope on me he sent me to the wall.... I think I'll finish that gallon o' wine I've been saving
Well... the white walkers seem less intimidating now, all of a sudden.
Wore white after labor day.
Jaywalking
I totally read it : Brothers of the night's Watch - Share your Latte...
Eyes, what's wrong with u?
I didn't bring the foking bread and salt in time.
kingslayin' and kingflayin'
Littering.
Lollygagging.
Murder. Banditry. Assault. Theft. And lollygagging.
I stole someone's sweetroll.
In king's landing i had sex with a highborn lady who fell in love and wanted to marry me, but her father got me arrested and i was going to be executed. So my cellmate (this short guy) escaped, and because of that i had an opportunity to escape too and seized it... I was playing a serenade at the highborn lady's window when 10 guards dragged me back screaming to my cell, but they didn't know i was a ninja, i killed all the corrupt guards and fled to winterfell, on my way there i met some windlings and we had a good time, one of them fucked potatos... So i was scared and turned back, heading for Dorne, where i tasted the dornishman's wife and was poisoned, they offered me a cure and if i sweared to go to the wall. Now i'm here having sex with this hot redhead slutty witch.
Well... that DOES sound like a Whitehill thing to do...
Everyone knows Latte's are made best in the coldest point in fucking westeros.
"Bigby said I didnt have to go to the wall, but Miss White said I had to go up to the damn wall anyway!"
I grabbed Sansa's ass and felt her thick juicy booty then the Hound grabbed me and made me to confess to King Joffrey. I made up some story about how I was on my way to the wall, and Joffrey said okay and banished me to the wall.
I called King Robert a fat fuck. He was going to kill me but I convinced him to send me to The Wall.
really? I gotta try!
I shot a guard with an Arrow to the knee.
Because I fucked potatoes.. duh
Random, but I have a feeling Brienne might eventually become the first female member of the Night's watch in the show.
I think at some point in the books Jon orders some women to join the Night's Watch as part of a different castle, but I'm not sure.
Loitering.
For crimes against fashion.
For having nipples on my breastplate.
I didn't want to go, BUT MY MOTHER INSISTED!
I couldn't resist...
Fuckin' potatoes....
What the heck is lollygagging...
Sounds sinister though
I got too hype at a Lannister after party at Kings Landing and started swinging from the chandeliers screaming CLEGANEBOWL, CLEGANEBOWL GET FUCKING HYPAR! Cersei was there and so was Qyburn so shit was awkward. Qyburn insisted I should have been taken to his lab to be experimented on but Cersei being as gracious as she is said I would be the new court fool for Tommen. Those days with Tommen were some of the worst of my life. I dressed in cat costumes and did unspeakable things to Ser Pounce and his brethren all for Tommens sick twisted amusement. He even asked me to do horrid things to His Graces person. Once he suggested I should play a similar game with lady Margaery but at the last moment he decided to do so himself and sent me to Her Graces brother instead. Eventually, I had enough so during one sad drunken night I jumped out the window in my cell. Unfortunately, I fell into a wagon full of buxom wenches bound for Littlefingers establishment. Now in normal circumstances this would be wondrous but as I laid face first in a pair of the biggest teats I'd ever seen in my life I realized something these women were laughing at me. Now normally I wouldn't be used to something such as this as I'm the handsomest bastard in the Seven Kingdoms and you'd think my chances would have been improved in my death defying stunt out of a first story window. At that moment I realized I still had the cat costume on... I jumped out the cart in an embarrassed state but drew up enough courage to turn for a cheeky comment and yell, "Thanks for ya patronage love!" I turned into the next alley and stripped out of my cat costume until I was in my smallclothes. "Now what.", I thought to meself. I can't stay in the south as everyone here will know of Ser Churned as the Cat Costumed Cheeky Cunt. There would be embarrassing songs about me and I won't stand here and here 'em. I shall return to me home in the North and rebuild my once destroyed house. "House Churned shall be great again!", I yelled triumphantly. Suddenly, a pair of shutters flung open and a voice bellowed, "yeah and my cock warts will vanish too!" With that Ser Churned ventured North with nothing but the smallclothes on his back and a rusty old shovel. By the time he reached the riverlands he ventured east to Saltpans and snuck aboard a ship called the Maiden's Secret Prick bound for White Harbour. He spent the time their in the cargo hold eating rats. As the Maiden's Secret Prick reached White Harbour Ser Churned jumped overboard and swam ashore, he proceeded North trekking along the east side of the White Knife. He then came upon what was the seat of House Churned. Now that he thought upon it, it strangely looked like just a tavern made of quarried stone. "No matter.", he thought, "this is my home." After spending several days rebuilding his keep and clearing out all the cobwebs and skeletons he reopened his keep and declared him self lord of the surrounding area. All in all nobody gave a shit. Except for Wyman Manderly that is! He sent me a formal letter with grease all over it telling me to, "fokkkkk offff!!!" So I sent him a return letter asking if I could vassal for him and he sent me a return letter proclaiming, "kkkkkk!!!" From then on Ser Churned opened the most prosperous Inn/Tavern/Whorehouse on the White Knife known as House Churned. The first floor was the tavern the second floor was the Inn and the Whorehouse. However, the cell under the stairs was most definitely 100% totally the seat of House Churned. I even had a Lord's Chair and a Lord's Desk to proof it. After years of great prosperity a town popped up around House Churned and I was lord of it all! One fateful day Roose Bolton and his devil spawn Ramsay came with his host and raised my town to the ground afterwards I was left with nothing except for the proper nice armor I bought for my self as well as the bastard sword I found in the river one day. With nothing left I decided to do the honorable thing at set North to join the Night's Watch and one day I swore vengeance against the Boltons. "And now I'm here today lads!", laughter burst through the common hall as all of Ser Churned's brothers in black took the piss. But there was one impressionable young lad who asked, "Is that what really happened?" At that moment Lord Commander Snow rose and bellowed, " NO we found this poor bastard naked outside the gates 'relieving' himself hahahahaha!"
I asked a Night's watch recruiter why, if the Wall is made of ice, the wildlings don't just dig a hole in it. The recruiter made sure i could see why myself