I love the story, but there are a few grammatical errors that I'd like to point out. (Sorry, I'm not trying to be rude.)
She didn't even mind his robotic arm anymore, the metal was pleasantly cool to the touch and if she started feeling to much...
"To much" should be "Too much"
It shows an excessive amount. A few examples would be:
"There are too many pies in this room."
"The work is too much to handle, I'm sorry."
"I understand if this is too much of a hassle to complete. I won't hold it against you."
And many others.
'Too' can also be used in place of 'as well' and 'also'. Examples:
"I can do it too!"
"Did you think that too?"
But now Fiona didn't feel Rhys lying next to her...
If you're using a word such as 'Now', 'Then', 'Next', 'Afterwards', and many other possible examples, it would be good to put a comma after it. It's similar to a sequence of events.
"But now, ..."
Then she sneaked down the stairs.
Same principle goes with this.
"Then, she sneaked down the stairs."
"Rhys?" she called out...
I see this type of dialogue a lot whenever I read a story. Now, the sentence is perfectly fine, but the lack of capitalization is the problem.
Whenever you write dialogue you must be aware of the punctuation you will be using.
"If a cat is a bird then today is Friday," Jasmine said.
"Here's your papers, Mr. Anderson." John tossed the folder onto his boss's desk.
Notice how the first one doesn't end with the character performing an action. If the character saying it is performing an action, then the dialogue ends with a period. If not, end it in a comma and began the action of the next sentence with a capital letter.
The same applies with the usage of a question mark or an exclamation point.
"Oh no!" Kelly yelled.
"Is this thing on?" Lola asked.
The same applies when using pronouns as well, with all the points I just made (except in the usage of an action).
"Are you sure about this?" He asked.
"Alright, here we go," she murmured.
"Undoubtedly so!" She proclaimed.
The current way that this dialogue would have been done is:
So, I guess this is gonna be my second fanfic here. I'm not sure how it turns out but I hope it's okay...
Part 1
Fiona mumbled into he… morer pillow, turning over and cracking her eyes open a bit. She expected to find Rhys where he usually was next to her, and feel his arms wrapped around her. She didn't even mind his robotic arm anymore, the metal was pleasantly cool to the touch and if she started feeling too much like she was cuddling up to a lamppost then she could always seek the comfort of his other, human arm.
True, it was still mildly annoying that Mr Froggy Wiggles had to be included in the snuggle each time, he was practically ancient (even in her sleepy state, Fiona had the sense to think 'Oh my god, did I actually refer to that sock as a he?'). But if that's what she had to go through to be able to feel the safety of Rhys's presence, then she could bear it.
But now, Fiona didn't feel Rhys lying next to her, didn't hear his l… [view original content]
If anyone has writing prompts, shoot them. I'm done with most requests and though I have ideas of my own it's always nice to write for people.
...It's a recipe for disaster writing at night and on a tablet but I'm an idiot who likes it.
I love the story, but there are a few grammatical errors that I'd like to point out. (Sorry, I'm not trying to be rude.)
She didn't ev… moreen mind his robotic arm anymore, the metal was pleasantly cool to the touch and if she started feeling to much...
"To much" should be "Too much"
It shows an excessive amount. A few examples would be:
* "There are too many pies in this room."
* "The work is too much to handle, I'm sorry."
* "I understand if this is too much of a hassle to complete. I won't hold it against you."
And many others.
'Too' can also be used in place of 'as well' and 'also'. Examples:
* "I can do it too!"
* "Did you think that too?"
But now Fiona didn't feel Rhys lying next to her...
If you're using a word such as 'Now', 'Then', 'Next', 'Afterwards', and many other possible examples, it would be good to put a comma after it. It's similar to a sequence of events.
"But now, ..."
… [view original content]
Day of Rhys diary or situation when Fiona finds his diary. Ofc it has beautiful Buttstalion on its cover. It sounds similar to sitiuation with dolls, but this time Fiona finds out how much Rhys loves her by reading his journal.
Day on the beach. Rhys is awkwardly putting sunscream on Fiona. Playing volleyball team Rhyiona versus team kids. In other version Gortys is the ball. At the end of episode 2 they carry her easily so they can play her as volleyball. In this case teams should be like this: team Rhys, Fiona and Loader Bot versus Kenny, Bigby, Jack. Also Gortys can be cheating by changing trajectory.
Playing with kites. It can also be on the beach.
Rhys is building housetree for Gortys. Obviously Loader Bot is too big and jealous.
Taking pet skag for a walk in the park.
Use it however you like, change whatever you want.
If anyone has writing prompts, shoot them. I'm done with most requests and though I have ideas of my own it's always nice to write for people.
...It's a recipe for disaster writing at night and on a tablet but I'm an idiot who likes it.
I think my teacher ships Rhiona.
Today I've got a test and there was an exercise where I was suppose to chose correct anwsers and then arrange it from the oldest to the earliest. And the anwsers were... ugh you know, like in alfabet, you know, like
a. Sumthink
b. Sumthink xD
So... yaah. The anwser was rhiona...
And I am preety sure I did that correct. XD
*Sorry for any mistakes but the next lesson is starting XD
Oh my God, guys.
I think my teacher ships Rhiona.
Today I've got a test and there was an exercise where I was suppose to chose correct a… morenwsers and then arrange it from the oldest to the earliest. And the anwsers were... ugh you know, like in alfabet, you know, like
a. Sumthink
b. Sumthink xD
So... yaah. The anwser was rhiona...
And I am preety sure I did that correct. XD
*Sorry for any mistakes but the next lesson is starting XD
Oh my God, guys.
I think my teacher ships Rhiona.
Today I've got a test and there was an exercise where I was suppose to chose correct a… morenwsers and then arrange it from the oldest to the earliest. And the anwsers were... ugh you know, like in alfabet, you know, like
a. Sumthink
b. Sumthink xD
So... yaah. The anwser was rhiona...
And I am preety sure I did that correct. XD
*Sorry for any mistakes but the next lesson is starting XD
Comments
To celebrate 15k Comments, have a sad attempted at a Rhys with some scruff because Rhys with scruff is needed
"10/10 would kiss"
15k already?!
everyone be like
Uhhhh more like
"-"
-Fiona 2015
Cuz she's to busy already kissing, amirit? UPTOP!
15K!
I love the story, but there are a few grammatical errors that I'd like to point out. (Sorry, I'm not trying to be rude.)
"To much" should be "Too much"
It shows an excessive amount. A few examples would be:
And many others.
'Too' can also be used in place of 'as well' and 'also'. Examples:
If you're using a word such as 'Now', 'Then', 'Next', 'Afterwards', and many other possible examples, it would be good to put a comma after it. It's similar to a sequence of events.
"But now, ..."
Same principle goes with this.
"Then, she sneaked down the stairs."
I see this type of dialogue a lot whenever I read a story. Now, the sentence is perfectly fine, but the lack of capitalization is the problem.
Whenever you write dialogue you must be aware of the punctuation you will be using.
"If a cat is a bird then today is Friday," Jasmine said.
"Here's your papers, Mr. Anderson." John tossed the folder onto his boss's desk.
Notice how the first one doesn't end with the character performing an action. If the character saying it is performing an action, then the dialogue ends with a period. If not, end it in a comma and began the action of the next sentence with a capital letter.
The same applies with the usage of a question mark or an exclamation point.
"Oh no!" Kelly yelled.
"Is this thing on?" Lola asked.
The same applies when using pronouns as well, with all the points I just made (except in the usage of an action).
"Are you sure about this?" He asked.
"Alright, here we go," she murmured.
"Undoubtedly so!" She proclaimed.
The current way that this dialogue would have been done is:
"Rhys?" She called out.
If anyone has writing prompts, shoot them. I'm done with most requests and though I have ideas of my own it's always nice to write for people.
...It's a recipe for disaster writing at night and on a tablet but I'm an idiot who likes it.
Aren't we all? ;-;
Right, the episode leak.
Remember the ban.
))))
I know someone else who would like this... :^)
@Poogers555
Thanks, I'll give it a go!
how about.. Rhys grows a beard and rubs it against fionas face to tease her?
I sure would! Also, Truth or Dare fanfic pls
I didn't forget, don't worry. ;P
Good....Good...
I'm just asking for prompts to add to the list so then I have a bunch to post without having to hurry. :P
us when we get old and the new gens don't know about Rhyiona...
And telling the new gens that episode 3 will come some day...
Lol. Kinda sad when you think about it :^(
Oh god.
Too sad.
These kids won't understand true quality. ;-;
Nah... we'll be honest. Myths don't do them any good.
We can just tell the truth that episode 3 was cancelled.
Well it's a ship... I guess not so yummy thou...
But Quiff pls... they're still kids...
P.S Yet Dean surely loves his food, especially pie.
Poogs
Poogs pls don't...
Thanks for the corrections, I edited it now. I'm usually more careful with my spelling and grammar, but now I was too tired to proofread.
Thank you! This idea was actually suggested to me by a friend who is very into the fan fiction business (not so much into the Tales business though).
Stay strong, Wolf, there will be a continuation... soon...
Nah just kidding I'm working on part 2 now.
Haha, well hopefully at the end of this there will be a nice surprise, depends on how everything turns out...
Thanks
haha best gif ever!
Use it however you like, change whatever you want.
I left for a bit and BAM 1999 NEW FRAAKING COMMENTS
Oh my God, guys.
I think my teacher ships Rhiona.
Today I've got a test and there was an exercise where I was suppose to chose correct anwsers and then arrange it from the oldest to the earliest. And the anwsers were... ugh you know, like in alfabet, you know, like
a. Sumthink
b. Sumthink xD
So... yaah. The anwser was rhiona...
And I am preety sure I did that correct. XD
*Sorry for any mistakes but the next lesson is starting XD
tries to hold back the tears
Nah I was sarcastic.
I would eat them up so that I wouldn't have to ever see them again.
Your teacher is a good man it seems. Or woman?
Wow