Chapter Details: When life gives you lemons, it was maybe best not to go pissing folks off by squirting said lemons in their eyes. One of these days he was going to catch a break, but right now? Nah, not so much. It was more of a uh, work in progress kinda deal.
Why bad luck kept following Luke everywhere, he’d never know.
Thank you for posting here this thread was died for months because of trolls copy and pasting stories here from random fanfics so I closed it and ignored it but you are a genius writer and your first story Growing pains is by far the greatest fanfic I ever read and up there with the best stories I ever read I cannot believe you’re not a pro author yet tbh I would pay to read your books or buy games you wrote the script for, watch movies, shows u wrote etc XD…
Anyway I'll reopen my story reviews this tale deserves it I'd be honored to do it ..
I feel because of the length I want to review each chapter individually..
Skin-Deep Chapter 1
I loved it so I'll go into a few random reasons why
Luke
I don't like telltale luke his one dimensional hawt boy who always puts Clem in danger and does stupid things we disagreed on most things..
The Luke you write about is perfection his the Guy I want luke to be selfless, loving and only concerned with Clem's survival he lives for Clem his like her bulletproof jacket he would die for her your Luke I adore ..
He makes Clem happy she makes jokes and behaves childish around him showing she is comfortable and happy around him this got me in the feels seeing Clem so happy. The fact she is so attached to him shows what a wonderful person he is..
Even when you had the flashback and he questioned his ability to be a father I liked when he said I live to serve clem whenever and how long she needs me. To me this is powerful as it says many things about Luke he feels his replaceable, He feels like Clem deserves better then him,
His life is all about clem and her needs she is not an object or partner she is his reason to live his is worthless unless he serves her and her needs any better alternative will be accepted as long as it's serves her needs better, Feels one day Clem will not need him etc..
I feel like his a lot better developed then telltale luke he regrets his mistakes and reflects on every decision he makes his relatable he wants what is best for clem and always want's better for her yet the past still haunts him no matter how safe it is around..
He has faults he is always so desperate to score with the ladies and his general knowledge is poor he finds it hard to relate to Clem's problems as a female..
His a guy with self-esteem issues and survivor guilt looking after the next Rambo trying to teach her the right ways and protect her now that is pressure..
What I like to see from luke in the upcoming chapters
I’d like to see his morals tested remember tlou when Joel has to torture and kill two guys to get ellie’s location..
Would nice guy luke drop all morals in order to protect clem would he cross boundaries do evil acts if it mean’t saving her?..
Would Luke break that promise if a better alternative like a group offered to take Clem but not him..
Would Luke’s lust for the ladies put Clem in danger would he leave her alone to go to her or get spied on by an attractive female..
Clementine
The perfect Clem which S2 needed this girl is hilarious and so adorable it really hit me in the feels knowing how much dark events even with her stump she has been through yet obsesses over a lollipop that cuteness could melt any readers heart XD..
I really feel like you captured Clem perfectly unlike the game s2 you understand she is young girl who can be silly at times, make jokes and have fun. Have issues that affect all young girls not a mini lee perfect at everything she is still learning..
So nice reading about this charming funny adorable clem I loved her little stares and reactions to luke to when his acting stupid or making mistakes so many light hearted moments really put a smile on my face..
I like to see with clem?
How far would her promise to Luke go how much would she risk for him?..
Would that promise endanger her if Luke was ever in trouble..
Etc
Clem and Luke relationship
Reminded me of my fav game ever tlou this relationship as Joel faced the same problems as luke
To love someone so much you feel you are never good enough to protect them like with Joel wanted tommy with ellie and luke wanted Clem to stay if he couldn’t get in or if she felt she never long needed him.
That feeling of desperation to always find what is best for her, always noticing little mood changes or sickness, Just the feeling of how good their day is always depends on how Clem or Ellie is feeling
Luke would do anything for Clem his life is based around how she is doing and protecting her at all costs
Clem is happy and feels safe so luke is doing a wonderful job imo we really are seeing Clem behaving like a normal little girl again she is safe and well feed. Luke always questions himself to always find better for her as well he is the perfect protector for me the one clem needs
Random Story points I enjoyed
I liked how they debated over the promise that Clem would leave and kick lukes just to be with him no matter the food or safety there if he didn’t get in. They both are completely loyal to each other
Clem’s obsession over the lollipop is the most adorable thing I read in a long time
I liked when Luke referenced and talked about the past it caused me lots of flashbacks in my head and his observation of events through his eyes made me respect him more and get a better understanding of why he did certain things. I felt really down and depressed then Clem talked about yellow snowballs and I lmao the perfect break of that tension genius writing
I laughed a lot at the bad language in this MORE I laughed so hard everytime I saw a fuck honestly I loved it
I taught it was beautifully told when Luke remembered his former friends wishing they were with him killed my feels talking about the laughter and fun they would of brought no matter the safety or food in this place the people he cared for will always haunt him and make him feel alone nothing could replace those people in his life you really sensed the hurt even reading the words I even really missed them as he spoke I got flashbacks too
LUKE AND PERIODS
I’ll be honest I’m a guy so when Clem had a problem I said ew don’t be a period and when she said bleeding I said sheet this is going to be uncomfortable to read XD Turned out to be my highlight just hilarious you captured guys ignorance perfectly
luke is a fucking idiot , They are grouchy buffalo who are always right and baby makin stuff, messy fiddle…WTF LUKE ARE YOU DOING
Clem do guys get period?
I screamed at the screen AW HELL NO
Luke getting her tampons because she will be bleeding like niagria falls over everything
Just omg I never laughed so much reading a story before
One of the major reasons I hate Luke was the locking clem in the shed and you cleared up that plothole with a just genius idea of Amy the bitten girl who killed ruth and forced Nick to shoot his own mother. The game should of used this now I understand the decision with clem and feel closer to Luke’s character to made me like Luke I HATE LUKE but your luke is genius he discusses every negative event with regret making him relatable his a completely fleshed out character in your story you make them so real
It killed my feels seeing Clem go to school and see another student being brought to school by their parent it really brought home how much the ZA ruined her life and ruins the normal things kids should have had parent there for like her first day in the new school
Good things
• Perfect grammar making the story easy to understand and comprehend
• Spaced out well so I could read it without being overloaded or losing track of the story in my head
• Felt like watching a movie not reading a story your such an excellent writer I could picture everything perfectly so descriptive all areas, people and events I found easy to understand, picture and relate to
• Each character had a unique personality and unique faults luke troubling in accepting his mistakes and how to be a father figure, Clems knowledge in female troubles and surviving with a stump and opening bottles. Luke is really observant and self-reflective but dopey while Clem is just hilarious and adorable with no patience
• I love how respectful you are of your stories you won’t throw in violence or gruesome events every chapter to fill in quiet or reflective moments you understand the importance of setting a foundation and character development first. I feel after seeing how happy there are and seeing all their bonding in this chapter while also learning more about them if anything happens now it will kill me inside :’/. That’s why TWD s1 was so powerful and tlou it had calm before the storm build the tension first making the big events massive. While over use of violence and killing makes it lose all tension and expect the unexpected factor
• I laughed so much during this the comedy was heartwarming and adorable. While the reflective moments messed with my feels I felt like a puppet reading this you know how to always pull the readers strings with you awesome writing
• Luke poor choice of words, very poor choice of words JOKER QUOTE
• I liked your use of foreshadowing at the end
You mixed flashbacks, current events, comedy and characters perfectly I enjoyed every moment and never felt bored I always was excited for the next line
I liked how you fixed a lot of the games plotholes for me with luke and the group over the treatment of Clem they game should of had that moment with ruth imo
Referenced events and had effects from your previous story I kept having flashbacks in my head to your previous story and the game this just seems so cool to me
Overall
I adored this another masterpiece I can’t wait for more I honestly feel telltale should sack every writer and get you on board they would get GOTY every year XD
Rating 10/10
I’ll review chapter 2 tomorrow this all took me hours and hours I can’t wait to do the next one and see how this journey continues
May as well post it here too
"You should count yourself lucky and be thankful to that little girl, because she's the only reason y… moreou're here right now..."
Title: Skin-Deep
Chapter 2: Hurdles
[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10831815/2/Skin-Deep]
Characters: Luke, Clementine & others
Genres: Friendship/Family
Rating: T
Chapter Details: When life gives you lemons, it was maybe best not to go pissing folks off by squirting said lemons in their eyes. One of these days he was going to catch a break, but right now? Nah, not so much. It was more of a uh, work in progress kinda deal.
Why bad luck kept following Luke everywhere, he’d never know.
[Themes]
Mountain Sound - Of Monsters and Men:
We Sink - Of Monsters and Men:
Thank you Mark, that was a really, really wonderful review to read. I wish I could say something more big and thankful in return ;.; but i'm half asleep here and can bearly keep my eyes open.
So here's a picture of some yummy waffles ^_^ to let you know how awesome you are.
Very nice Fanfic, good to see the old group back together after such a long time. I really liked the chemistry between the characters.
I … moream looking forward for more of this and will work on another Fanfic myself as well.
Just like a phoenix, this Thread will rise from ashes and return even bigger and even better!
TWD.
Title: Faith, and death.
Setting: 1 month after "Another Day."
Main Characters: Lee, Clementine, Kenny, and Ben.
Deep in the woods of South Carolina, Lee and the others rest by the campfire, as night approaches.
The group has been on a grueling trek for the last month.
Christa has begun to show signs of being pregnant, which is adding to the difficulty.
On a nearby bolder, Kenny stands watch with a rifle, looking and listening for the slightest movement.
The group has been pretty quiet for the last few days, saying very little in the way of conversation.
Looking into the fire, Clementine breaks the silence and asks Lee: "How much farther is to Charleston, Lee?"
"Not much further Clementine. About 3 days at best," Lee replied.
Kenny added: "And when we get there, we're gonna find another boat, and finally get out onto open water."
Christa and Omid looked at Lee, after Kenny's remark.
Omid wasn't exactly sure about "the boat plan", but he hadn't said anything against it either.
Christa, on the other hand, was adamantly against it.
A couple of days ago, she had again voiced her disapproval, which led to a huge argument between her and Kenny.
Hence, the reason why the group had been quiet since then.
Christa, after getting up, decided to walk to a stream nearby to get some water.
After she was out of earshot, Kenny motioned to Lee to join him in private.
When the two had stepped behind a tree, Kenny said: "Look Lee, I'm sorry about that spat me and Christa had 3 days ago, but I'm still not changing my mind about finding a boat."
Lee looked at him and replied: "And I'm with you, but right now we gotta focus on keeping peace within the group.
We can't afford to be at each other's throats!"
Before Kenny could answer, they heard screaming coming from the direction of the creek!
"That's sound like Christa," Omid shouted.
Lee, Kenny, Ben, and Clementine took off running toward the direction of the creek.
When they got there, Christa and a two others were surrounded by Walkers.
Lee, Kenny, and Kenny and Omid jumped in and took after a grueling fight, were able to take them down.
Lee and Kenny looked at the young woman, and her companions.
The man appeared to be in his early 50's, had short hair, with short great hair and a goatee.
And a slender young redheaded woman.
"Who are you people", Lee asked cautiously?
The man answered: "My name is Leland, and this is Bonnie."
After exchanging introductions, Kenny spoke up: "So what''re you folks doing out here?"
"Trying to survive, just like you," Leland replied.
"Well you look like you guys have done alright, to have made this far," Lee remarked.
"Yeah, but it ain't getting any easier," Bonnie stated.
"Well you're welcomed to join us," Lee said: "We're on are way north."
Kenny looked at Lee, and then asked him to talk privately.
Walking a little distance, Kenny began: "Look Lee, I know you mean well by offering to let these new people join us, but do you really think that's wise, especially given that we know nothing about them?"
Lee noted: "Well back on Hershel's farm, you and your family didn't know me, and yet you invited me to come with. I say we should give these new people a chance."
"This is different," Kenny responded, "Back then things weren't as desperate as they are now."
"Even so, Lee replied, "We still have to be willing to give others a chance, as that's what separates us from people like Crawford."
Kenny looked down at the ground and then back up at Lee and said: "Fair enough. But we should still keep an eye on them."
Lee nodded in agreement, and the two walked back and rejoined the group.
After some more conversation, Leland and Bonnie joined Lee's group, and walked back to the campfire, and hunkered down for the night.
The next morning, they continued on their way north.
After a few days, the group reached Charleston NC.
Upon entering the city, the group immediately began scouting for a place to hold up.
Walking along the empty streets, the group couldn't help but notice how quiet everything was.
"Stay on your guard Lee," Kenny stated: "I don't like this. Something doesn't feel right."
Before Lee could answer, a gunshot rang out!
Looking around for where it came from, Lee noticed an expression of horror on Omid's face, and looking down noticed that Omid was bleeding from his chest.
Christa screamed as Amid dropped to the ground!
Just as the group rallied to Omid's side, walkers came pouring out from one of the alleyways, and straight for the group.
The group picked up Omid and began running through the streets!
Dashing into an old house, the group carried Omid inside and after laying him on the floor, Kenny went back and barred the door.
"He's not breathing," Christa exclaimed!
Leland bent down and began administering CPR to Omid.
Though he tried, he was unable to bring Omid back, thus Omid died.
The group sat their in grief, and though she had just lost her husband, Christa was still able to put a knife through his temple, to keep him from re-animating.
That night, the group sat in the house, grieved over their loss.
The group managed to find some old candles, that were able to provide some dim light to the room.
While sitting in the silence, Leland walked over to Omid's body kelt down beside it, opened his mouth and said: "The Lord is my sheppard, I shalt not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures.
He leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul.
He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I shall fear no evil, for thou art with me."
"That's pretty," Clementine remarked.
"Thank you darlin' but I'm not the first to have ever said it," Leland replied while looking back at her.
"I didn't know you were religious," Kenny stated.
"Faith is the one thing that's helped me keep my sanity amongst all this madness," Leland replied.
"Well, I hope your faith will help us find these bastards that killed Omid," Christa said in a semi-controlled anger.
Bonnie replied: "I'm so sorry for what happened to him. He was a good man."
"Who would shoot at us, and why," Ben asked?
Lee replied: "I don't know, but there gonna regret it".......
"What're we gonna do, Lee," Kenny asked?
Lee looked down at the floor and then looked back up at the group, and with a dead-serious look on his face, and a cold whispering tone replied: "Kill 'em all!"
Title: TWD, Another Day.
Main Characters: Lee, Kenny, Clementine.
( If Lee hadn't died.)
Timeline: Picks up right after "Around Every Cor… morener."
Lee, on the floor of the jewelry store, weak and dying from a walker bite, looks up at Clementine, who's holding a gun in her shaking hands.
He nods.
Clementine, points the gun at him, and pulls the trigger.
Suddenly, Lee bolts upright, terrified, and looking around, realizes he is still in the mansion, having fell asleep on the couch in the upstairs den.
"What a nightmare! I'm so glad I destroyed that radio a few hours ago. God knows what kind of trouble we could be inviting on ourselves as long as we had it," Lee thought.
Clementine, still lying by the window, having cried herself to sleep after Lee was forced to tell her that her parents were more than likely dead, her body being covered in the warm raise of the morning sun.
Lee walks over to her, and gently stroked her head.
Looking … [view original content]
TWD.
Title: Faith, and death.
Setting: 1 month after "Another Day."
Main Characters: Lee, Clementine, Kenny, and Ben.
Deep in the wood… mores of South Carolina, Lee and the others rest by the campfire, as night approaches.
The group has been on a grueling trek for the last month.
Christa has begun to show signs of being pregnant, which is adding to the difficulty.
On a nearby bolder, Kenny stands watch with a rifle, looking and listening for the slightest movement.
The group has been pretty quiet for the last few days, saying very little in the way of conversation.
Looking into the fire, Clementine breaks the silence and asks Lee: "How much farther is to Charleston, Lee?"
"Not much further Clementine. About 3 days at best," Lee replied.
Kenny added: "And when we get there, we're gonna find another boat, and finally get out onto open water."
Christa and Omid looked at Lee, after Kenny's remark.
Omid wasn't exactly sure about "the… [view original content]
I just feel in a really excited and happy mood rn after finishing this chapter was perfection and it just makes me happy I love it like what I felt when I completed tlou for the first time you just feel that sense of WOW that was really special that experience and so was reading your stories thank you so much for sharing this masterpiece with me
My reaction after finishing this chapter ^
Luke
Exactly what I wanted to see he was faced with so many challenges his lust making him sleep with Holly leading to the Darcy hate, Revealed to be put on a list, Clem being bullied and her being rebellious, His wages cut and meeting Lilly etc
What I liked about everything he faced was he was not perfect he could of done a lot better in a few situations this made me really connect with the story as I always reflected to myself what I would do faced with these problems as they are so relevant to daily issues nowadays.
His faults with lust, bad general knowledge and his shyness I seen him pull out of a few comments he was going to make causing him a lot of problems that is genius writing and I feel what writers should do always is offer challenging situations that play up on characters faults to test them this makes the story just fascinating to read
Clem
I wanted to hug her so much this chapter and give her a lollipop poor clem she had a tough chapter here no more fun, games or lollipops the dream chapter 1 offered her turned into reality here.
She did me very proud she was brave despite all the abuse she endured she is a little Rambo it hit me in the feels she did an awesome job.
The bullying, missing molly, luke not siding with her, all the kids making fun of walkers, Luke messing up, Bad memories being brought up etc to me every challenge she did fantastic I’m very proud
I loved how even in a ZA you made their problems so relatable to the readers bullying, having a terrible boss etc it really made me always reflect on what I would of done in Luke’s position that is quality writing so I’ll go through moments I loved and some I’ll discuss what I would of done myself in that position of luke even tho the writing was perfect on each just for fun
Helen and Luke tango
I was wondering how this girl was so easy to get and getting with Luke so fast without truly knowing him I knew she was dangerous and it was confirmed Darcy’s daughter and someone who sleeps with all the newbies. Luke’s lust made him suffer I hoped this would happen so I was happy that was a story arc
Eddie juicy details off luke with helen
I felt Luke made the correct decision here trust no one and don’t discuss private details about Darcys daughter if anyone gossiped he would of put himself and clem in serious danger and kicked out when it eventually went back to Darcy
Richard bully clem and calling her stumpy
I was so pissed and annoyed someone was bullying Clem she is so adorable and funny yet they all rejected her I’m so connected with the characters in your story it feels so real I felt so hurt she was having such a hard time and yes I wanted to kill Richard XD.
It was a subject matter any reader could relate to a genius subject to have in a ZA that’s really what makes stories like this so powerful having issues that affect everyone and are relatable to people even in a fictional world it makes characters more realistic and relatable to the reader making this chapter so powerful and real to read
Luke back the fuck off stares
This really made me smile as I can relate to this and I too mastered this stare :’)
Clem kicking Richard then in hospital
I enjoyed this so much and I was very proud of her luke and the teachers failed her imo she was being abused every day to the point of pushing she could take no more and fought back I was so proud of her. It was only a kick, Richard ending up in hospital was not her fault she was just defending herself
Clem shouting at the principal
I taught Clem was brilliant here and I felt Luke let her down
That bullying and abuse is like walking up a swimming pool the water gets higher and higher till one day it’s get to high and you drown
For Clem the water was to high she didn’t want to spend another day in that abuse and the people around here wouldn’t save her from it that forced her hand.
So she responded in rage to make the message clear to make those around her feel the pain she is in with this deep frustration no one is listening so she wants to make sure she is clear, loud and direct it stops now no more abuse she can’t handle another day of it.
Then Luke told her to be quiet and ignore the problems.
That teaches Clem to repress her feelings and emotions no matter how hard things are and to do nothing when she feels something is really wrong
Especially in a ZA full of evil people and manipulators being like that is a death sentence ignoring problems will prove always fatal for her and people around her
She is being badly bullied and has no friends only Luke so for him to ignore her worries and tell her to be quiet going against her when she has no is else was wrong of luke imo
He also should of gave her a lollipop afterwards to calm her down when she is clearly upset and distressed by it all not keep pushing on about it and pushing her buttons only discuss it after she has calmed down and is relaxed she been having are hard time GIVE HER A HUG pls
But that’s why I loved the chapter to characters made mistakes or certain decisions and I had so much fun analyzing each decision and debating it with myself what I would have done
Eddie: On the list why they are on the farm and will be banished if they mess up
I loved this story arc and was fascinated by it, great twist and made things with darcy make sense to me
Clem if they make you leave I’m going too
This was so adorable and heart-warming to read :’)
Aiko questioning Clem watching luke to take her away
I loved the mystery element here with the investigating you can sense they are being watched closely it seems everything is a threat to Luke here and everyone is against him I feel his on thin ice in this community and they want him to slip really exciting to read
Big wage cut half of what he gets from darcy letter you were why
Poor Luke the guy is looking after this little girl and they need this then they cut his wages I felt so bad for him and clem :’(
Bulletin board with missing people..tommy six died mom and dad reward dinosaur stickers, Clem and molly with a sketch
The way you wrote out the tommy one was really heartbreaking and adorable the poor kid :’( fantastic writing
Clem about Molly was adorable :’)
Luke drawing molly
This was awesome of Luke Clem really needed some support she had a hard time and Luke helped her draw her missing friend it was great encouragement helping her be creative and have support with such a sensitive issue for clem.
She opened up with her notepad and Luke helped her this was great bonding and beautiful to read many feels :’)
Clem working in library to afford a memorial
Clem is such an awesome person and I felt so happy she had something to earn and concentrate on to keep her busy she is having such a hard time. But not sweeping floors reading books and helping so she is getting smarter and earning money to get that memorial to help her get over her friends who haunt her, this is the perfect job and objective to get educated and heal her hurt from the past when she gets enough coupons this is quality writing :’)
Luke as a teacher
Luke would make the perfect teacher and it will help Clem settle and be safe with him around this ticks all the boxes for me yet he just wants to work for darcy who hates him and clean a farm COME ON LUKE WTF get your priorities straight
Lilly:(I have a crazy theory)
My highlight because I noticed many things about Lilly and tactics she is a master manipulator her techniques remind me of Joker
See Joker plays on your faults and weaknesses to make him seem relatable to him he knows your goals and ambitions he always matches them to make you see everything through his eyes
Joker plays on Batman feeling like an outsider like him, He goes on about how he killed people showing him as the bad person that’s his one goal to never kill he broke it so they are the same people only in different situations etc
Harvey is about Law and corruption Joker knows this so suddenly his main aim is to fight the corrupt etc
Luke weakness is his self-esteem, lust and Clems protection Lilly discussed all Lukes faults and mistakes in length
About his lust with Helen
How it was only luck he made it this far not him being a good father to clem or protector (self esteem)
How important family is there isn’t many anymore (being relatable to his codes)
Brought up the shed incident to shame him as a bad person for doing that treating Clem like an animal
She attacked all his weak spots all his weaknesses keeping the focus on him never discussing herself only what he knew about her.
Only after she discussed all Luke’s faults and mistakes in depth did she say have you ever done something you regret?
Making him feel guilty and at fault so clearly she is trying to make him feel they are the same relatable.
Only after breaking Luke making him feel like a bad person did she then reveal her true agenda make him be quiet about her past
She convinced him to that it will get him kicked out as well as clem if he talked and how much work she did to get him in. How the whole community will collapse
Preying on his weakness for clem while making her seem like he owes her something brainwashing
While in reality if Luke talked his honesty will get him more respect among the community probably a higher position while Lilly will only face the consequences imo and get kicked out. So this gave Luke a lot of power over Lilly rn
So she knew this deep down so she offered him a bribe then if he talked she could say he accepted a bribe his untrustworthy so they both would been affected no one holds the power so it will guarantees Luke won’t talk.
When this didn’t work she had no other option but to threaten Clem Lukes main weakness with the quote not for your sake, for hers she is an expert manipulator
This was genius writing Lilly was so intelligent here anyway that’s just how I saw this it’s fun to analysis
Personally I dislike Lilly she killed Carley I loved her, acted generally mean then for a group who helped her and gave her everything even with a small child knowing what she done, she stole the camper van not caring if she stranded her group.(who had clem)
NO CHANCE I ever would trust her
Things I liked
It deals with issues relevant to readers who could relate to and might of experienced so you could really experience these scenes as your reading it really powerful stuff
You showed Clem deal and struggle with issues when usually she is perfect in the telltale game to see how much bullying and the past is haunting her really makes her so realistic and lovable
I love all Clems adorable jokes and Luke being so kind and understanding of her problems
So much mystery going on my imagination went crazy reading this I was just fascinated with all the plot twists
Perfect Grammar and spacing I never got overloaded, lost or taken out of the story by mistakes I enjoyed every minute of it
Great pacing I can’t say I was ever bored every issue or challenge which arose fascinated me
How you managed to make a twd story so tense and exciting without lots of killing or a walker takes unbelievable talent it’s amazing
Luke messed up a lot this really made me connect with the character and sympathise he just kept fighting despite all the problems it was just heart-warming to see how he never gives up for Clem or lets the hate destroy him
The writing was so intelligent with so much depth I wanted to reflect and debate every issue to myself here just genius
Overall
I adore this chapter you’re a genius and this is another piece of a masterpiece I can’t wait for more :’)
Rating
Come on……………really……………ok………………..10/10 every time :P
Thank you Mark, that was a really, really wonderful review to read. I wish I could say something more big and thankful in return ;.; but i'm… more half asleep here and can bearly keep my eyes open.
So here's a picture of some yummy waffles ^_^ to let you know how awesome you are.
Eeeee I loved reading your review! T.T it's so shiny! Thank you!
I love your opinions about Lilly too, interesting observsations....I'm not telling you anything =D my intent when writing her in that scene was for Lilly to be a bit of a puzzle, so it's not entirely clear what's going on with her. Although I can't take all of the credit, my editor Sialark gave a handful of suggestions and little changes that really helped add a great deal to the scene. XD for example Luke stumbling just a little bit more when he was in Lilly's presence, because Sialark said Luke was too calm like James Bond. I'd been too used to thinking ahead where he is calm, that in that particular scene, I really wasn't sure how to make him more nervous than he was, without it coming off too scared, but she really helped add those subtle things in.
Still, can't get James Bond Luke out of my head! XD
I'll chat more in a pm later ,I gotta rush off now ;.; but thank you so much for reading it. I can't wait to get cracking on Chapter 3. There's a lot I have written of that on paper already, so woo! ^_^ thanks bro!
enter link description here
Chapter 2 Hurdles review
I just feel in a really excited and happy mood rn after finishing this chapter wa… mores perfection and it just makes me happy I love it like what I felt when I completed tlou for the first time you just feel that sense of WOW that was really special that experience and so was reading your stories thank you so much for sharing this masterpiece with me
My reaction after finishing this chapter ^
Luke
Exactly what I wanted to see he was faced with so many challenges his lust making him sleep with Holly leading to the Darcy hate, Revealed to be put on a list, Clem being bullied and her being rebellious, His wages cut and meeting Lilly etc
What I liked about everything he faced was he was not perfect he could of done a lot better in a few situations this made me really connect with the story as I always reflected to myself what I would do faced with these problems as they are so … [view original content]
Eeeee I loved reading your review! T.T it's so shiny! Thank you!
I love your opinions about Lilly too, interesting observsations....I'm n… moreot telling you anything =D my intent when writing her in that scene was for Lilly to be a bit of a puzzle, so it's not entirely clear what's going on with her. Although I can't take all of the credit, my editor Sialark gave a handful of suggestions and little changes that really helped add a great deal to the scene. XD for example Luke stumbling just a little bit more when he was in Lilly's presence, because Sialark said Luke was too calm like James Bond. I'd been too used to thinking ahead where he is calm, that in that particular scene, I really wasn't sure how to make him more nervous than he was, without it coming off too scared, but she really helped add those subtle things in.
Still, can't get James Bond Luke out of my head! XD
I'll chat more in a pm later ,I gotta rush off now ;.; … [view original content]
This thread gave me many wonderful adventures with the stories here and hopefully many in the future so thank you everyone who contributed here or just came to read a story your all awesome
Revision on Growing Pains should be finished by then too, so you might like giving that a read through again with the new scenes it gets ^_^ I'm going to be bringing out a trailer for it too. You can see an early version of it if you want.
Speaking of which, you have any idea how to get the The Walking Dead title font? o.o
Revision on Growing Pains should be finished by then too, so you might like giving that a read through again with the new scenes it gets ^_^… more I'm going to be bringing out a trailer for it too. You can see an early version of it if you want.
Speaking of which, you have any idea how to get the The Walking Dead title font? o.o
Here's my fic that I've been working on for literally months. It explores the relationship between Jane and Luke at the observation deck, and what I believe to have transpired, from Jane's perspective.
Hard Rime
As ice thaws, it can break. Fissures and cracks, jagged edges—they can cut you open, or leave you exposed.
But melted ice can rekindle life. It just needs time, and warmth….
Thanks to @Lilacsbloom for the continued support on writing, even when I had so much trouble finishing it. And thank you for pre-reading, and for all of your suggestions too. You the best, dude!
Just posting this as I did in the other thread to inform Growing Pains has finally been revised, and contains news scenes scattered throughout [around about 18 or so, not including alternations or extended scenes]. It is now a four part story with the final chapter having been divided into chapters 3 and 4, and once standing at over 50,000 words, has risen to over 76,000 words.
The list of new scenes can be viewed in the link below, but do contain spoilers so beware:
A trailer will be coming sometime, but I'll post it here when I do, like soon....ish....well not soon soon, but sort of soon if I can figure out those audio things just right. If not then not so soon soon, but more of a sooned soon......I'm just going to shut up. But the title card above, that's from it.
Oh and a super special thanks to @sialark for helping me fix up the grammar as always. Now um, I need to get back to Skin-Deep before somebody kills me.
And that new story? Soon...I think, kinda. I have some things to write on that T.T excited as hell.
My fanfic is all about fleshing out a missing scene - that is in S2E4 involving Luke and Jane on the observation deck, something I started back in November but only now finished because, god, I'm the worst at finishing stuff. (Also, looks like Sialark's work above is something of an unintentional companion piece! XD)
Yeah, I know what you might be thinking! But while it does have two, three paragraphs, if that, of fairly tame NSFW-ery as far as NSFW business goes, that is definitely NOT the focus of the fic. A quick, bittersweet read, it's meant to give you a fresh, sympathetic, and more human perspective of Luke and Jane in this context and answer that big burning question of WHY without changing the events of the game.
Details: Thirteen years changed them both. The old world fell apart and never was it restored. Their old lives were long gone, and so were the people they used to be. Survive and get by for another day, it's all they did now. Walkers weren't so much the problem, the living were. It was foolish to be so trusting, for even the most generous of people still had skeletons in their closets.
An A/U [alternate universe] set thirteen years after the events of Season 1, where the figures on the hill were to be Pete and Luke who found Clementine that day outside Savannah. Chapter by chapter, the past gets pieced together revealing how these characters became who they are, with the future becoming more uncertain.
Themes: The Road OST - The Road [ ]
I've been working on this story for a very long time. I wanted to have a go at writing something different, something I hadn't seen many authors attempt. I got inspiration from a lot of things [even a few episodes from the TV show itself] and the more I thought of the concept, the more I was sure I could pull it off.
Fans have always drawn art of Clementine grown up, but what would she really be like? This was something I really wanted to take into account when aiming for a more serious approach than I've written before, and to portray Clementine as accurately as possible to how she may be as an adult who'd gone through the wars of surviving in a ZA for so long. One other thing I also realized I wanted to do, was that I wanted to bring in the theme of a conflict from Season 2 that never saw itself through to the end with, and have an outlet for characters I was unable to write larger roles for in my other stories. The character perspectives will be switching between the two leads every chapter as well, so you can guess who'll be taking over in Chapter 2.
A special thanks to the Sialark and Keepmoving who helped beta for me, and to BembiAnn for allowing me permission to use her artwork for this story.
Details: Thirteen years changed them both. The old world fell apart and never was it restored. Their old lives were long gone, and so were the people they used to be. Survive and get by for another day, it’s all they did now. Walkers weren’t so much the problem, the living were. It was foolish to be so trusting, for even the most generous of people still had skeletons in their closets.
Comments
May as well post it here too
"You should count yourself lucky and be thankful to that little girl, because she's the only reason you're here right now..."
Title: Skin-Deep
Chapter 2: Hurdles
[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10831815/2/Skin-Deep]
Characters: Luke, Clementine & others
Genres: Friendship/Family
Rating: T
Chapter Details: When life gives you lemons, it was maybe best not to go pissing folks off by squirting said lemons in their eyes. One of these days he was going to catch a break, but right now? Nah, not so much. It was more of a uh, work in progress kinda deal.
Why bad luck kept following Luke everywhere, he’d never know.
[Themes]
Mountain Sound - Of Monsters and Men:
We Sink - Of Monsters and Men:
Thank you for posting here this thread was died for months because of trolls copy and pasting stories here from random fanfics so I closed it and ignored it but you are a genius writer and your first story Growing pains is by far the greatest fanfic I ever read and up there with the best stories I ever read I cannot believe you’re not a pro author yet tbh I would pay to read your books or buy games you wrote the script for, watch movies, shows u wrote etc XD…
Anyway I'll reopen my story reviews this tale deserves it I'd be honored to do it
..
I feel because of the length I want to review each chapter individually..
Skin-Deep Chapter 1
I loved it so I'll go into a few random reasons why
Luke
I don't like telltale luke his one dimensional hawt boy who always puts Clem in danger and does stupid things we disagreed on most things..
The Luke you write about is perfection his the Guy I want luke to be selfless, loving and only concerned with Clem's survival he lives for Clem his like her bulletproof jacket he would die for her your Luke I adore
..
He makes Clem happy she makes jokes and behaves childish around him showing she is comfortable and happy around him this got me in the feels seeing Clem so happy. The fact she is so attached to him shows what a wonderful person he is..
Even when you had the flashback and he questioned his ability to be a father I liked when he said I live to serve clem whenever and how long she needs me. To me this is powerful as it says many things about Luke he feels his replaceable, He feels like Clem deserves better then him,
His life is all about clem and her needs she is not an object or partner she is his reason to live his is worthless unless he serves her and her needs any better alternative will be accepted as long as it's serves her needs better, Feels one day Clem will not need him etc..
I feel like his a lot better developed then telltale luke he regrets his mistakes and reflects on every decision he makes his relatable he wants what is best for clem and always want's better for her yet the past still haunts him no matter how safe it is around..
He has faults he is always so desperate to score with the ladies and his general knowledge is poor he finds it hard to relate to Clem's problems as a female..
His a guy with self-esteem issues and survivor guilt looking after the next Rambo trying to teach her the right ways and protect her now that is pressure..
What I like to see from luke in the upcoming chapters
I’d like to see his morals tested remember tlou when Joel has to torture and kill two guys to get ellie’s location..
Would nice guy luke drop all morals in order to protect clem would he cross boundaries do evil acts if it mean’t saving her?..
Would Luke break that promise if a better alternative like a group offered to take Clem but not him..
Would Luke’s lust for the ladies put Clem in danger would he leave her alone to go to her or get spied on by an attractive female..
Clementine
The perfect Clem which S2 needed this girl is hilarious and so adorable it really hit me in the feels knowing how much dark events even with her stump she has been through yet obsesses over a lollipop that cuteness could melt any readers heart XD..
I really feel like you captured Clem perfectly unlike the game s2 you understand she is young girl who can be silly at times, make jokes and have fun. Have issues that affect all young girls not a mini lee perfect at everything she is still learning..
So nice reading about this charming funny adorable clem I loved her little stares and reactions to luke to when his acting stupid or making mistakes so many light hearted moments really put a smile on my face..
I like to see with clem?
How far would her promise to Luke go how much would she risk for him?..
Would that promise endanger her if Luke was ever in trouble..
Etc
Clem and Luke relationship
Reminded me of my fav game ever tlou this relationship as Joel faced the same problems as luke
To love someone so much you feel you are never good enough to protect them like with Joel wanted tommy with ellie and luke wanted Clem to stay if he couldn’t get in or if she felt she never long needed him.
That feeling of desperation to always find what is best for her, always noticing little mood changes or sickness, Just the feeling of how good their day is always depends on how Clem or Ellie is feeling
Luke would do anything for Clem his life is based around how she is doing and protecting her at all costs
Clem is happy and feels safe so luke is doing a wonderful job imo we really are seeing Clem behaving like a normal little girl again she is safe and well feed. Luke always questions himself to always find better for her as well he is the perfect protector for me the one clem needs
Random Story points I enjoyed
I liked how they debated over the promise that Clem would leave and kick lukes just to be with him no matter the food or safety there if he didn’t get in. They both are completely loyal to each other
Clem’s obsession over the lollipop is the most adorable thing I read in a long time
I liked when Luke referenced and talked about the past it caused me lots of flashbacks in my head and his observation of events through his eyes made me respect him more and get a better understanding of why he did certain things. I felt really down and depressed then Clem talked about yellow snowballs and I lmao the perfect break of that tension genius writing
I laughed a lot at the bad language in this MORE I laughed so hard everytime I saw a fuck honestly I loved it
I taught it was beautifully told when Luke remembered his former friends wishing they were with him killed my feels talking about the laughter and fun they would of brought no matter the safety or food in this place the people he cared for will always haunt him and make him feel alone nothing could replace those people in his life you really sensed the hurt even reading the words I even really missed them as he spoke I got flashbacks too
LUKE AND PERIODS
I’ll be honest I’m a guy so when Clem had a problem I said ew don’t be a period and when she said bleeding I said sheet this is going to be uncomfortable to read XD Turned out to be my highlight just hilarious you captured guys ignorance perfectly
luke is a fucking idiot , They are grouchy buffalo who are always right and baby makin stuff, messy fiddle…WTF LUKE ARE YOU DOING
Clem do guys get period?
I screamed at the screen AW HELL NO
Luke getting her tampons because she will be bleeding like niagria falls over everything
Just omg I never laughed so much reading a story before
One of the major reasons I hate Luke was the locking clem in the shed and you cleared up that plothole with a just genius idea of Amy the bitten girl who killed ruth and forced Nick to shoot his own mother. The game should of used this now I understand the decision with clem and feel closer to Luke’s character to made me like Luke I HATE LUKE but your luke is genius he discusses every negative event with regret making him relatable his a completely fleshed out character in your story you make them so real
It killed my feels seeing Clem go to school and see another student being brought to school by their parent it really brought home how much the ZA ruined her life and ruins the normal things kids should have had parent there for like her first day in the new school
Good things
• Perfect grammar making the story easy to understand and comprehend
• Spaced out well so I could read it without being overloaded or losing track of the story in my head
• Felt like watching a movie not reading a story your such an excellent writer I could picture everything perfectly so descriptive all areas, people and events I found easy to understand, picture and relate to
• Each character had a unique personality and unique faults luke troubling in accepting his mistakes and how to be a father figure, Clems knowledge in female troubles and surviving with a stump and opening bottles. Luke is really observant and self-reflective but dopey while Clem is just hilarious and adorable with no patience
• I love how respectful you are of your stories you won’t throw in violence or gruesome events every chapter to fill in quiet or reflective moments you understand the importance of setting a foundation and character development first. I feel after seeing how happy there are and seeing all their bonding in this chapter while also learning more about them if anything happens now it will kill me inside :’/. That’s why TWD s1 was so powerful and tlou it had calm before the storm build the tension first making the big events massive. While over use of violence and killing makes it lose all tension and expect the unexpected factor
• I laughed so much during this the comedy was heartwarming and adorable. While the reflective moments messed with my feels I felt like a puppet reading this you know how to always pull the readers strings with you awesome writing
• Luke poor choice of words, very poor choice of words JOKER QUOTE
• I liked your use of foreshadowing at the end
Overall
I adored this another masterpiece I can’t wait for more I honestly feel telltale should sack every writer and get you on board they would get GOTY every year XD
Rating 10/10
I’ll review chapter 2 tomorrow this all took me hours and hours
I can’t wait to do the next one and see how this journey continues
Thank you Mark, that was a really, really wonderful review to read. I wish I could say something more big and thankful in return ;.; but i'm half asleep here and can bearly keep my eyes open.
So here's a picture of some yummy waffles ^_^ to let you know how awesome you are.
Thank you.
Perhaps we should call this "The Lazarus Thread."
TWD.
Title: Faith, and death.
Setting: 1 month after "Another Day."
Main Characters: Lee, Clementine, Kenny, and Ben.
Deep in the woods of South Carolina, Lee and the others rest by the campfire, as night approaches.
The group has been on a grueling trek for the last month.
Christa has begun to show signs of being pregnant, which is adding to the difficulty.
On a nearby bolder, Kenny stands watch with a rifle, looking and listening for the slightest movement.
The group has been pretty quiet for the last few days, saying very little in the way of conversation.
Looking into the fire, Clementine breaks the silence and asks Lee: "How much farther is to Charleston, Lee?"
"Not much further Clementine. About 3 days at best," Lee replied.
Kenny added: "And when we get there, we're gonna find another boat, and finally get out onto open water."
Christa and Omid looked at Lee, after Kenny's remark.
Omid wasn't exactly sure about "the boat plan", but he hadn't said anything against it either.
Christa, on the other hand, was adamantly against it.
A couple of days ago, she had again voiced her disapproval, which led to a huge argument between her and Kenny.
Hence, the reason why the group had been quiet since then.
Christa, after getting up, decided to walk to a stream nearby to get some water.
After she was out of earshot, Kenny motioned to Lee to join him in private.
When the two had stepped behind a tree, Kenny said: "Look Lee, I'm sorry about that spat me and Christa had 3 days ago, but I'm still not changing my mind about finding a boat."
Lee looked at him and replied: "And I'm with you, but right now we gotta focus on keeping peace within the group.
We can't afford to be at each other's throats!"
Before Kenny could answer, they heard screaming coming from the direction of the creek!
"That's sound like Christa," Omid shouted.
Lee, Kenny, Ben, and Clementine took off running toward the direction of the creek.
When they got there, Christa and a two others were surrounded by Walkers.
Lee, Kenny, and Kenny and Omid jumped in and took after a grueling fight, were able to take them down.
Lee and Kenny looked at the young woman, and her companions.
The man appeared to be in his early 50's, had short hair, with short great hair and a goatee.
And a slender young redheaded woman.
"Who are you people", Lee asked cautiously?
The man answered: "My name is Leland, and this is Bonnie."
After exchanging introductions, Kenny spoke up: "So what''re you folks doing out here?"
"Trying to survive, just like you," Leland replied.
"Well you look like you guys have done alright, to have made this far," Lee remarked.
"Yeah, but it ain't getting any easier," Bonnie stated.
"Well you're welcomed to join us," Lee said: "We're on are way north."
Kenny looked at Lee, and then asked him to talk privately.
Walking a little distance, Kenny began: "Look Lee, I know you mean well by offering to let these new people join us, but do you really think that's wise, especially given that we know nothing about them?"
Lee noted: "Well back on Hershel's farm, you and your family didn't know me, and yet you invited me to come with. I say we should give these new people a chance."
"This is different," Kenny responded, "Back then things weren't as desperate as they are now."
"Even so, Lee replied, "We still have to be willing to give others a chance, as that's what separates us from people like Crawford."
Kenny looked down at the ground and then back up at Lee and said: "Fair enough. But we should still keep an eye on them."
Lee nodded in agreement, and the two walked back and rejoined the group.
After some more conversation, Leland and Bonnie joined Lee's group, and walked back to the campfire, and hunkered down for the night.
The next morning, they continued on their way north.
After a few days, the group reached Charleston NC.
Upon entering the city, the group immediately began scouting for a place to hold up.
Walking along the empty streets, the group couldn't help but notice how quiet everything was.
"Stay on your guard Lee," Kenny stated: "I don't like this. Something doesn't feel right."
Before Lee could answer, a gunshot rang out!
Looking around for where it came from, Lee noticed an expression of horror on Omid's face, and looking down noticed that Omid was bleeding from his chest.
Christa screamed as Amid dropped to the ground!
Just as the group rallied to Omid's side, walkers came pouring out from one of the alleyways, and straight for the group.
The group picked up Omid and began running through the streets!
Dashing into an old house, the group carried Omid inside and after laying him on the floor, Kenny went back and barred the door.
"He's not breathing," Christa exclaimed!
Leland bent down and began administering CPR to Omid.
Though he tried, he was unable to bring Omid back, thus Omid died.
The group sat their in grief, and though she had just lost her husband, Christa was still able to put a knife through his temple, to keep him from re-animating.
That night, the group sat in the house, grieved over their loss.
The group managed to find some old candles, that were able to provide some dim light to the room.
While sitting in the silence, Leland walked over to Omid's body kelt down beside it, opened his mouth and said: "The Lord is my sheppard, I shalt not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures.
He leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul.
He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I shall fear no evil, for thou art with me."
"That's pretty," Clementine remarked.
"Thank you darlin' but I'm not the first to have ever said it," Leland replied while looking back at her.
"I didn't know you were religious," Kenny stated.
"Faith is the one thing that's helped me keep my sanity amongst all this madness," Leland replied.
"Well, I hope your faith will help us find these bastards that killed Omid," Christa said in a semi-controlled anger.
Bonnie replied: "I'm so sorry for what happened to him. He was a good man."
"Who would shoot at us, and why," Ben asked?
Lee replied: "I don't know, but there gonna regret it".......
"What're we gonna do, Lee," Kenny asked?
Lee looked down at the floor and then looked back up at the group, and with a dead-serious look on his face, and a cold whispering tone replied: "Kill 'em all!"
The End.
I enjoyed this chapter and seeing the s1 and s2 characters cross over was fun to read
The points I liked
Grammar and spacing done perfectly I spotted no mistakes and read without getting lost
I like seeing all the s1 characters again and how they would of interacted with s2 characters
Plenty of action with killing all the walkers and twists with omid getting killed
Plenty of feels :'/
I think all the characters behaved like they are in the game making them feel more realistic to me
Used lot of descriptive words so I knew what the characters were thinking
Overall
Great chapter and I can't wait if you write more
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Chapter 2 Hurdles review
I just feel in a really excited and happy mood rn after finishing this chapter was perfection and it just makes me happy I love it like what I felt when I completed tlou for the first time you just feel that sense of WOW that was really special that experience and so was reading your stories thank you so much for sharing this masterpiece with me
My reaction after finishing this chapter ^
Luke
Exactly what I wanted to see he was faced with so many challenges his lust making him sleep with Holly leading to the Darcy hate, Revealed to be put on a list, Clem being bullied and her being rebellious, His wages cut and meeting Lilly etc
What I liked about everything he faced was he was not perfect he could of done a lot better in a few situations this made me really connect with the story as I always reflected to myself what I would do faced with these problems as they are so relevant to daily issues nowadays.
His faults with lust, bad general knowledge and his shyness I seen him pull out of a few comments he was going to make causing him a lot of problems that is genius writing and I feel what writers should do always is offer challenging situations that play up on characters faults to test them this makes the story just fascinating to read
Clem
I wanted to hug her so much this chapter and give her a lollipop poor clem she had a tough chapter here no more fun, games or lollipops the dream chapter 1 offered her turned into reality here.
She did me very proud she was brave despite all the abuse she endured she is a little Rambo it hit me in the feels she did an awesome job.
The bullying, missing molly, luke not siding with her, all the kids making fun of walkers, Luke messing up, Bad memories being brought up etc to me every challenge she did fantastic I’m very proud
I loved how even in a ZA you made their problems so relatable to the readers bullying, having a terrible boss etc it really made me always reflect on what I would of done in Luke’s position that is quality writing so I’ll go through moments I loved and some I’ll discuss what I would of done myself in that position of luke even tho the writing was perfect on each just for fun
Helen and Luke tango
I was wondering how this girl was so easy to get and getting with Luke so fast without truly knowing him I knew she was dangerous and it was confirmed Darcy’s daughter and someone who sleeps with all the newbies. Luke’s lust made him suffer I hoped this would happen so I was happy that was a story arc
Eddie juicy details off luke with helen
I felt Luke made the correct decision here trust no one and don’t discuss private details about Darcys daughter if anyone gossiped he would of put himself and clem in serious danger and kicked out when it eventually went back to Darcy
Richard bully clem and calling her stumpy
I was so pissed and annoyed someone was bullying Clem she is so adorable and funny yet they all rejected her I’m so connected with the characters in your story it feels so real I felt so hurt she was having such a hard time and yes I wanted to kill Richard XD.
It was a subject matter any reader could relate to a genius subject to have in a ZA that’s really what makes stories like this so powerful having issues that affect everyone and are relatable to people even in a fictional world it makes characters more realistic and relatable to the reader making this chapter so powerful and real to read
Luke back the fuck off stares
This really made me smile as I can relate to this and I too mastered this stare :’)
Clem kicking Richard then in hospital
I enjoyed this so much and I was very proud of her luke and the teachers failed her imo she was being abused every day to the point of pushing she could take no more and fought back I was so proud of her. It was only a kick, Richard ending up in hospital was not her fault she was just defending herself
Clem shouting at the principal
I taught Clem was brilliant here and I felt Luke let her down
That bullying and abuse is like walking up a swimming pool the water gets higher and higher till one day it’s get to high and you drown
For Clem the water was to high she didn’t want to spend another day in that abuse and the people around here wouldn’t save her from it that forced her hand.
So she responded in rage to make the message clear to make those around her feel the pain she is in with this deep frustration no one is listening so she wants to make sure she is clear, loud and direct it stops now no more abuse she can’t handle another day of it.
Then Luke told her to be quiet and ignore the problems.
That teaches Clem to repress her feelings and emotions no matter how hard things are and to do nothing when she feels something is really wrong
Especially in a ZA full of evil people and manipulators being like that is a death sentence ignoring problems will prove always fatal for her and people around her
She is being badly bullied and has no friends only Luke so for him to ignore her worries and tell her to be quiet going against her when she has no is else was wrong of luke imo
He also should of gave her a lollipop afterwards to calm her down when she is clearly upset and distressed by it all not keep pushing on about it and pushing her buttons only discuss it after she has calmed down and is relaxed she been having are hard time GIVE HER A HUG pls
But that’s why I loved the chapter to characters made mistakes or certain decisions and I had so much fun analyzing each decision and debating it with myself what I would have done
Eddie: On the list why they are on the farm and will be banished if they mess up
I loved this story arc and was fascinated by it, great twist and made things with darcy make sense to me
Clem if they make you leave I’m going too
This was so adorable and heart-warming to read :’)
Aiko questioning Clem watching luke to take her away
I loved the mystery element here with the investigating you can sense they are being watched closely it seems everything is a threat to Luke here and everyone is against him I feel his on thin ice in this community and they want him to slip really exciting to read
Big wage cut half of what he gets from darcy letter you were why
Poor Luke the guy is looking after this little girl and they need this then they cut his wages I felt so bad for him and clem :’(
Bulletin board with missing people..tommy six died mom and dad reward dinosaur stickers, Clem and molly with a sketch
The way you wrote out the tommy one was really heartbreaking and adorable the poor kid :’( fantastic writing
Clem about Molly was adorable :’)
Luke drawing molly
This was awesome of Luke Clem really needed some support she had a hard time and Luke helped her draw her missing friend it was great encouragement helping her be creative and have support with such a sensitive issue for clem.
She opened up with her notepad and Luke helped her this was great bonding and beautiful to read many feels :’)
Clem working in library to afford a memorial
Clem is such an awesome person and I felt so happy she had something to earn and concentrate on to keep her busy she is having such a hard time. But not sweeping floors reading books and helping so she is getting smarter and earning money to get that memorial to help her get over her friends who haunt her, this is the perfect job and objective to get educated and heal her hurt from the past when she gets enough coupons this is quality writing :’)
Luke as a teacher
Luke would make the perfect teacher and it will help Clem settle and be safe with him around this ticks all the boxes for me yet he just wants to work for darcy who hates him and clean a farm COME ON LUKE WTF get your priorities straight
Lilly:(I have a crazy theory)
My highlight because I noticed many things about Lilly and tactics she is a master manipulator her techniques remind me of Joker
See Joker plays on your faults and weaknesses to make him seem relatable to him he knows your goals and ambitions he always matches them to make you see everything through his eyes
I’ll give examples
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Joker plays on Batman feeling like an outsider like him, He goes on about how he killed people showing him as the bad person that’s his one goal to never kill he broke it so they are the same people only in different situations etc
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Harvey is about Law and corruption Joker knows this so suddenly his main aim is to fight the corrupt etc
Luke weakness is his self-esteem, lust and Clems protection Lilly discussed all Lukes faults and mistakes in length
About his lust with Helen
How it was only luck he made it this far not him being a good father to clem or protector (self esteem)
How important family is there isn’t many anymore (being relatable to his codes)
Brought up the shed incident to shame him as a bad person for doing that treating Clem like an animal
She attacked all his weak spots all his weaknesses keeping the focus on him never discussing herself only what he knew about her.
Only after she discussed all Luke’s faults and mistakes in depth did she say have you ever done something you regret?
Making him feel guilty and at fault so clearly she is trying to make him feel they are the same relatable.
Only after breaking Luke making him feel like a bad person did she then reveal her true agenda make him be quiet about her past
She convinced him to that it will get him kicked out as well as clem if he talked and how much work she did to get him in. How the whole community will collapse
Preying on his weakness for clem while making her seem like he owes her something brainwashing
While in reality if Luke talked his honesty will get him more respect among the community probably a higher position while Lilly will only face the consequences imo and get kicked out. So this gave Luke a lot of power over Lilly rn
So she knew this deep down so she offered him a bribe then if he talked she could say he accepted a bribe his untrustworthy so they both would been affected no one holds the power so it will guarantees Luke won’t talk.
When this didn’t work she had no other option but to threaten Clem Lukes main weakness with the quote not for your sake, for hers
she is an expert manipulator
This was genius writing Lilly was so intelligent here anyway that’s just how I saw this it’s fun to analysis
Personally I dislike Lilly she killed Carley I loved her, acted generally mean then for a group who helped her and gave her everything even with a small child knowing what she done, she stole the camper van not caring if she stranded her group.(who had clem)
NO CHANCE I ever would trust her
Things I liked
Overall
I adore this chapter you’re a genius and this is another piece of a masterpiece I can’t wait for more :’)
Rating
Come on……………really……………ok………………..10/10 every time :P
Eeeee I loved reading your review! T.T it's so shiny! Thank you!
I love your opinions about Lilly too, interesting observsations....I'm not telling you anything =D my intent when writing her in that scene was for Lilly to be a bit of a puzzle, so it's not entirely clear what's going on with her. Although I can't take all of the credit, my editor Sialark gave a handful of suggestions and little changes that really helped add a great deal to the scene. XD for example Luke stumbling just a little bit more when he was in Lilly's presence, because Sialark said Luke was too calm like James Bond. I'd been too used to thinking ahead where he is calm, that in that particular scene, I really wasn't sure how to make him more nervous than he was, without it coming off too scared, but she really helped add those subtle things in.
Still, can't get James Bond Luke out of my head! XD
I'll chat more in a pm later ,I gotta rush off now ;.; but thank you so much for reading it. I can't wait to get cracking on Chapter 3. There's a lot I have written of that on paper already, so woo! ^_^ thanks bro!
I CAN'T WAIT I have no doubt it will be the best yet and great your full of fascinating insights
This thread gave me many wonderful adventures with the stories here and hopefully many in the future so thank you everyone who contributed here or just came to read a story your all awesome
Revision on Growing Pains should be finished by then too, so you might like giving that a read through again with the new scenes it gets ^_^ I'm going to be bringing out a trailer for it too. You can see an early version of it if you want.
Speaking of which, you have any idea how to get the The Walking Dead title font? o.o
Awesome and I'd love to as for fonts no idea :'/
Mind if I send it in an e-mail or something. I don't really want to post it up anywhere on the net yet o.o
sure I'll PM you my email
Wow, just wow... I remember that story. It was so cringe worthy it wasn't even funny.
Here's my fic that I've been working on for literally months. It explores the relationship between Jane and Luke at the observation deck, and what I believe to have transpired, from Jane's perspective.
Hard Rime
As ice thaws, it can break. Fissures and cracks, jagged edges—they can cut you open, or leave you exposed.
But melted ice can rekindle life. It just needs time, and warmth….
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11570262/1/Hard-Rime
Thanks to @Lilacsbloom for the continued support on writing, even when I had so much trouble finishing it. And thank you for pre-reading, and for all of your suggestions too. You the best, dude!
Click link to story below:
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10181591/1/Growing-Pains
Just posting this as I did in the other thread to inform Growing Pains has finally been revised, and contains news scenes scattered throughout [around about 18 or so, not including alternations or extended scenes]. It is now a four part story with the final chapter having been divided into chapters 3 and 4, and once standing at over 50,000 words, has risen to over 76,000 words.
The list of new scenes can be viewed in the link below, but do contain spoilers so beware:
http://lilacsbloom.tumblr.com/post/141464337053/growing-pains-has-officially-been-revised-and
A trailer will be coming sometime, but I'll post it here when I do, like soon....ish....well not soon soon, but sort of soon if I can figure out those audio things just right. If not then not so soon soon, but more of a sooned soon......I'm just going to shut up. But the title card above, that's from it.
Oh and a super special thanks to @sialark for helping me fix up the grammar as always. Now um, I need to get back to Skin-Deep before somebody kills me.
And that new story? Soon...I think, kinda. I have some things to write on that T.T excited as hell.
My fanfic is all about fleshing out a missing scene - that is in S2E4 involving Luke and Jane on the observation deck, something I started back in November but only now finished because, god, I'm the worst at finishing stuff. (Also, looks like Sialark's work above is something of an unintentional companion piece! XD)
Yeah, I know what you might be thinking! But while it does have two, three paragraphs, if that, of fairly tame NSFW-ery as far as NSFW business goes, that is definitely NOT the focus of the fic. A quick, bittersweet read, it's meant to give you a fresh, sympathetic, and more human perspective of Luke and Jane in this context and answer that big burning question of WHY without changing the events of the game.
CLICK HERE TO READ
Tacit - Chapter 1:
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11948080/1/Tacit
Characters: Clementine, Luke, Pete [others]
Genres: Friendship/Angst
Rating: T
Details: Thirteen years changed them both. The old world fell apart and never was it restored. Their old lives were long gone, and so were the people they used to be. Survive and get by for another day, it's all they did now. Walkers weren't so much the problem, the living were. It was foolish to be so trusting, for even the most generous of people still had skeletons in their closets.
An A/U [alternate universe] set thirteen years after the events of Season 1, where the figures on the hill were to be Pete and Luke who found Clementine that day outside Savannah. Chapter by chapter, the past gets pieced together revealing how these characters became who they are, with the future becoming more uncertain.
Themes: The Road OST - The Road [
]
I've been working on this story for a very long time. I wanted to have a go at writing something different, something I hadn't seen many authors attempt. I got inspiration from a lot of things [even a few episodes from the TV show itself] and the more I thought of the concept, the more I was sure I could pull it off.
Fans have always drawn art of Clementine grown up, but what would she really be like? This was something I really wanted to take into account when aiming for a more serious approach than I've written before, and to portray Clementine as accurately as possible to how she may be as an adult who'd gone through the wars of surviving in a ZA for so long. One other thing I also realized I wanted to do, was that I wanted to bring in the theme of a conflict from Season 2 that never saw itself through to the end with, and have an outlet for characters I was unable to write larger roles for in my other stories. The character perspectives will be switching between the two leads every chapter as well, so you can guess who'll be taking over in Chapter 2.
A special thanks to the Sialark and Keepmoving who helped beta for me, and to BembiAnn for allowing me permission to use her artwork for this story.
This'll make sense soon enough.
The Walking Dead - Tacit
Chapter 2:
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11948080/2/Tacit
Characters: Clementine, Luke, Pete [others]
Genres: Friendship/Angst
Rating: T
Details: Thirteen years changed them both. The old world fell apart and never was it restored. Their old lives were long gone, and so were the people they used to be. Survive and get by for another day, it’s all they did now. Walkers weren’t so much the problem, the living were. It was foolish to be so trusting, for even the most generous of people still had skeletons in their closets.
Themes: Sparrow & You Are a Memory - Message To Bears