How do I stop being creepy/needy to a girI I have a crush on?
MadManLee
Banned
in General Chat
This is serious. Btw, if you don't wish to give me advice, feel free to roast me. I deserve it.
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Creepy to her? What, are you stalking her or something?
Self-criticism is very good, but it must be a proper assessment of your character and not an off-hand observation that almost borders on self-loathing.
First things first, detail the situation a bit more. What is your relationship with her? Do you know her, are you friends or are you just stalking her from afar? In what way are you creepy in your eyes, does she think you are a creep too?
Edit: Like everyone says confidence is the key. Although, if you creeped her out pretty bad then it'll be difficult to get her to see you as something else than "that creep". If you haven't already, do your mea culpa and ask her if she would be okay to start over.
Worse case scenario, she refuses and you can move on to someone else.
I created a sock puppet account. And talked through pretending to be someone else on Twitter. We used a normal account. I was desperate to find out about her boyfriend, as I was desperate. And acted very creepily. She was desperate to get out the conversation and I didn't even see it. By he end, it was obvious it was me.
Also, I asked a former internet acquaintance of mine , who is a good friend of her, if he thinks she has had sex it with her best friend who is female. He said it was creepy and should stop talking. I have apologised to bother, hVtn heard from either of them since then
I don't she will ever reply. I am very upset by all this, which is the reason I'm telling people here. I have no ffiends, except for one Internet friend
Alcohol. In University, I was an awkward mess with girls, but put one beer in me and I was totally cool. Its basically a social cheat code. Just be careful not to overdo it. Puking or passing out is way worse than some awkwardness. Unfortunately, you can't employ this tactic in class or at work.
I'm afraid I don't have better advice. The key is to be confident, and its really hard to teach that. Practice, I guess? If you're thinking about not being creepy, you're probably going to come across as creepy. Its not going to happen overnight.
Practice making some normal non-crush friends or at least some casual conversation. There are lots of suggestions on "How to make friends" all over. For example, you could compliment someone on something they have and ask more about it, like where they got it, or how they use it. Or, if you find out someone is interested in some topic, you can say, "Hey, I heard you like such-and-such, and I'm wondering if you can answer this question for me about it" where the question is something reasonable. You can also chit-chat with people who are paid to be nice to you like store clerks. Human relationships take practice, and if you get a little better hang of it, you can then approach your crush with a little more confidence in yourself, which is what you really need for that.
Based on what you've said, it's seems you've already screwed the pooch, as far as being creepy is concerned. It's time to back off before you dig your hole any deeper.
A large part of not "being creepy" is being self-confident and self-aware enough to knowingly put yourself out there and show that you want someone's attention while being fine with the possibility of things not working out. Obviously, in part it helps to have something appealing about you and to get any life situations in order that you need to, but beyond that it really just boils down to having the inner confidence to be able to talk to people while having as small of an amount of inner doubt as you can. If you try to act confident on the outside or make fake excuses for why you want to talk to someone, you will subconsciously give off an incongruent vibe through your body language or other subtleties that people will subconsciously pick up on. However, if you practice talking to people enough to where you can feel comfortable on the inside without seeming incongruent with your feelings, then you hopefully will reach an eventual point where walking up to someone and getting to know them while being self-aware about your genuine intentions will come naturally. Of course, this is easier said than done, but the point is to be genuine but self-aware at the same time in how you approach people or reach out to them.
Having the self confidence to not only be aware but directly acknowledge that you are breaking a social norm by wanting to get to know someone instead of hiding behind a fake excuse will generally show you as having a genuine and authentic nature to you, while also showing that you have courage. (Of course, it also helps to consider the context of where and when you do this as well as how compatible you guys are...) Additionally, doing so while not being afraid of rejections will put less pressure on the other person to feel bad, which will result in an all-around good vibe. A good TED talk I once heard summed the practice of reaching a higher level of confidence as not "faking it until you make it" but rather "faking it until you become it." "Faking it" by trying to force yourself to talk to people, use better body language, improve their presentation, etc does not make you a dishonest person if you do so with the intention of genuinely improving yourself, but it is looked down upon when people "fake it" by adapting a fake persona with the deliberate and shallow intention of manipulating people for attention or other reasons.
Alright let's just go over a few cereal bizzz....
If she shows no remote interest towards you about 4 weeks after knowing each other, don't even TRY building a ship. Shit's gonna hurt you later on.
If she does not like how you act when being yourself, she does not need you. You do not need her.
Sorry if I'm coming off strong, but if you keep going you will get either : friendzoned, extreme luck and her revealing feelings, or shot down completely by her. If you really want to find girls, take some tips from Rhys, the smoothest beast there is.
Or second runner up, me. You just gotta have the perfect balance of weird slash sexiness. Don't go in like "ohey gimme number" you gotta be like "Oh.. um. Hey.. Well we just met and all, but... I would LOVE to get to know you. Your age. Oh, you're (insert age that's hopefully double digits)? That's two outta 10 gurrrl. (get it cuz 10 numbers total in digits) I know I know, too much smoothness in a comment so I gotta cut if off here.
Yeah; to elaborate, you wanna be upfront with your intentions as soon as you can (in a self aware manner while also considering the context of where/when you do so). If you don't act soon and don't show interest, people aren't going to wait around for you to do so.
Honestly at this point I don't think think this is really repairable, at least from my perspective (namely, a random person on the internet). If you don't want to give up, the best thing you can do is apologize how you've been behaving (don't go into specifics, just in case she didn't know the twitter account was your or that you talked to her friend), and say that it's because you like her and you didn't know how to tell her. Honestly, there's a high chance you'll get rejected, but you just have to take your lumps. You'll feel better for having said it, and you'll be able to grow as a person and move on.
Btw, I'm behind the times so I can't say for sure, but never create a sock puppet account, if you're found out it's incredibly off putting. If you don't have the confidence to talk to her directly (which is part of the problem) at the very least have a friend talk to her. It's a lot easier for her to find out you're interested, but it has the chance of being endearing at best and at the very worst she'll think you lack confidence, but it doesn't go into sketcher territory.
Also, I don't know how old you are, but asking about another person's sex life, unless you've been together a while, is never a good idea. It's none of your business, and frankly, irrelevant. If she's taken she's taken, if she's not, she's not. But the past is the past.
Though looking again are you saying she has a boyfriend? Like currently? In which case it's definately no go, though I still think it's best to apologize and get your feelings out, or if you think you can do it and that it's better, just walk away.
I hate to break it to you, but from a female perspective, once a guy gets the creeper label, it's incredibly hard if not impossible to remove said label from said lady's psyche. And if the friends also think you're a creeper, then it's kinda a pack mentality at that point. Most of the time when girls give guys the creeper status (Not always, as I have had some girl friends not do this) we stop talking to the person. We don't want to be mean, and say that we don't like you or are turned off by you, but we ignore you in hopes that maybe the situation will die out.... Sadly it's hard because if we say we don't like you we get "bitchy" label, but if we don't tell you we don't like you, we will get "leading me on" label.
Crushes and infatuations happen, it's only natural, but you need to think pretty hard about what attracts you to this girl, and if you can see yourself with her long term. If this is all about sex and physical appearance, then I have no advice to offer.
Edit: Ignore -_-
^^^^^^^^^^^^^ This.
I think the first step is finding out and understanding why you feel the way you do to the girl and why you feel that you need her.
Don't stop. Try to show her that you really are a nice shy guy, not just some awkward loser desperate to loose virginity. Try to show her that you can be brave even if you are not Teh Manley Man. Follow her home trough dark streets by night, just try to stay a bit out of sight, you don't want to scare her just yet..
I am a awkward loser. But I am not desperate to lose my virginity. She doesn't even live in the same country as me
Bribe her. It really works.
Check this pair. Filthy rich creep can bang Salma Hayek.
Maybe focus on girls you can actually meet in person on a regular basis? Long-distance relationships are difficult in the best of circumstances.
Meeting people in person is best, but if for whatever reason that's difficult, join a dating website, and only look at girls in your area.
It sounds like you're obsessing over this girl who doesn't make sense for you for a whole lot of reasons. She lives far away, you think she has a boyfriend, etc. There are plenty of very nice girls out there.
AYY LMAO!
Depends on the girl
Some girls don't like be messaged every day I know a few who think once a day is to much needy or takes days to answer but they don't understand if a guy wants to message you daily it's because he cares and loves talking to you. If a guy takes 5 days in between to be perfect for u they probably have like 5 girls on the side and just forgot about you, being like that will most likely lead girls to just go out with douches who will just ignore them most of the time, get bored of them as never interested in their texts and talking to them and probably cheat then on another girl who just like them loved how long he took to answer showing his not needy
Then again the might not be interested that's ok if so treat them the same way if a girl ignores you or calls u needy this is the wrong girl for you, you deserve better usually a crush is just in instant attraction you don't really know the person and guys crush on awesome girls so no doubt she will have lots of guys doing the same as u there will be a massive line
Just be yourself I knew a girl like that once she just started ignoring I just did the same moved on
Then couple of months ago I met the perfect girl who loved talking and same stuff as me we would message anytime we had free time we just compliment each other all day. We both were never needy to each other because we needed each other we both loved talking as much as the other and spending time with each other etc
So we spent as much time as we wanted talking and never a problem as we both admired each other and loved spending time with each other
To the right person you will never be needy or creepy as they admire and love you for who and what you are just be natural they are billions of woman in the world there is plenty who will adore you move on from her and let her make the next move
Start listening to Taylor Swift
Right. Start with this.
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Lol take your lumps.
Kind of hard to give you advice without any details at all. What did you do to deserve this label..? If it was nothing more than you telling her how you feel, that's pretty shitty.
If she has told you to leave her alone, then please for the love of god leave her alone.
If it’s just an infatuation thing either go and say hi and ask her out or go through the withdrawal process, that means stop looking at her social media, stop daydreaming about her, get out and be social with your friends, join a gym, do anything to distract yourself.
Either way good luck man, I've been there before and it can be pretty intense:)