How can I deal with extreme loneliness and isolation?

MadManLee

I have not even had a non-Internet conversation for over three years. Except for ones with Psychologists. I am always by myself and I have nobody to talk to now. Most of my internet friends have stopped talking to me altogether for one reason or another. I have no friends, and have been at home all day/every day for the last year(I'm a hermit). I have only left to go the store and psychologists. Very sad right now.

Blind Sniper

You mentioned seeing a psychologist; are they giving you good advice on how to get over your anxiety, and if so, are you applying it?

I typically hear that taking baby steps and pushing yourself to reach small, manageable, and realistic goals can help jumpstart the process of trying to be more outgoing. Instead of making large goals without defined steps (such as "I want to be happy"), try starting with small goals such as "I will say Hi to 3 people at the shop" and escalating from there. It will take a while if you have bad anxiety, which sucks, but in the end you will be more motivated if you commit to making progress when you give yourself tangible goals where you can look back on something good in particular.

Obviously, it also helps to surround yourself by people. Generic advice, I know, but you will have much better luck giving yourself experiences and exposure instead of just intellectually thinking on how you would try to connect with other people while remaining in isolation. Instead of jumping straight into the deep end, give yourself small and incremental exposure to new situations.

Another thing to keep in mind is being self aware of what you are subcomminicating to other people. If you come off as depressed or aloof, people will subconsciously pick up on that. To get rid of self sabotaging thoughts (that will cause you to act in ways people will pick up on), you have to be comfortable with your self. When people say "Be Yourself," that advice is technically true, but the importance of being the best version of yourself is often understated. By fixing what you can fix in your life and being comfortable with what you can't fix (as opposed to isolating yourself), you will find yourself being less needy and dependent on other people, which in turn will make connecting to other people easier.

It's easier said then done, but we all have to start somewhere.

BigBlindMax

Change your psychologist.

They should have you out and about, learning how to combat your social issues.

Markd4547

Blind Sniper comment is perfect and blindmax if I could add to that

I'd recommend joining some clubs could be sport or debate clubs

Get a pet too is good company

There are many outlets for people struggling to find friends online and support groups you could google some of them in your area

Just stay positive you can get out of this

Good luck bro I believe in you

Welcome_to_Woodbury

I'm agoraphobic, which means I am afraid of crowded places with lots of people because, typically, these are places that trigger anxiety and panic attacks for me. I know what it's like to feel isolated and alone, but I can tell you with 100% certainty that it's only temporary and it won't last forever. Are you taking advice from your psychologist? Is he or she providing you with tips on communicating with people? Are you aware of what's causing you to become detached from society?

I know it's not as easy as people say. I know you may not just be able to meet new people and everything will be fine, because it's hard and social anxiety is a bitch. Don't try to force yourself into stressful situations with lots of people because that might be a bit of an overload. Start small, try to get out of the house more and more until you're comfortable. Self talk is also really helpful. Say things (in your head) like, "I can do anything", "I will be happy", and "I am strong". When you're feeling worthless or depressed, say, "I am worth it". Say it over and over until it sticks. Don't let yourself forget.

Charlieh65

First things first, how old are you?

CrazedRabbit

We can probably deduce over 18 since he basically hasn't left the house for a year.

Tobi-Is-A-Good-Boy

Basically everything Snipes and Max said. I'm naturally a lone wolf, so I can't really say much. Try to get to know some people, sometimes a random encounter helps that, school is the best starting point to have friends (if you're still in it), but it does get harder after school to meet people. Perhaps if you have some friends in the area, that'd be a good starting point in getting out and meeting people. Another is, when you have work, you'd have more of a chance of making friends, much like school. Sometimes, randomly talking to person, which may seem awkward at first, can help you get starting in connecting with people. I'm naturally quiet, but often when I hear a good conversation I would join to get into it, and it helps make a connection (I usually go to church meals, so I get to meet people, I've made some friends from there). Getting involved in a community going can help in becoming more outgoing. Hope these ideas helps.

pcharl01

Take inventory with the things you like and enjoy then try to find places where those activities happen. Or things that interest or intrigue you. Exercise is good too, helps lessen anxiety.

Ethan_Neck

Is the real life what you want, or is it what society wants?

I have friends, but I would much rather write with people over the internet, and reading scary stories on nosleep.
Loneliness isn't always bad, but I know that you'll find a friend or two if you want to.

Space_Cowboy

Go somewhere public and people watch. take a good book and sit on a bench and just take it all in. If it gets to be too much just switch to reading for awhile. Who knows, might meet some people. When you interact with the cashier make small talk, get antiquated with the people you interact with on the day to day. Even if it doesn't work keep trying with other people or at other times. Just don't stay at home all day.

HiggsBoson2142

Find a community or group of people with the same interests or goals, maybe! Sometimes it's really hard to talk to people and be yourself (I don't even know why that is!). I wish I could help more, but I'm not even old enough to vote, yet! I don't have enough experience in the world, but it sounds like the guys above me do! Listen to them, they're all great people that would love to help! And I know you're looking for ways to improve your circle of friends in the real world, but us internet friends will always be here to support you! Basically, this entire community is Loaderbot. We just want everyone to have a good time. "With some friends."

Hope things get better! If you put your mind to it, there's nothing stopping you!