Pirate Role-Call
nikasaur
Telltale Alumni
What's in a name?
Quite a lot, as we know! It's the difference between Dread Pirate Vasquez of the Black Tide and Flaccid O'Flaherty.
Since the Monkey Island games only follows the story of Guybrush Threepwood, we don't get to learn much about your individual piratey nature. So tell us, who are YOU?
Don your saltiest sea dog accent, equip your sword, board your ship (or someone else's) and share a bit about yourself.
Pick your most Piratey name, and explain why!
Quite a lot, as we know! It's the difference between Dread Pirate Vasquez of the Black Tide and Flaccid O'Flaherty.
Since the Monkey Island games only follows the story of Guybrush Threepwood, we don't get to learn much about your individual piratey nature. So tell us, who are YOU?
Don your saltiest sea dog accent, equip your sword, board your ship (or someone else's) and share a bit about yourself.
Pick your most Piratey name, and explain why!
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Comments
'n Newton beein' me surname. Kind of. No picaroon came 'rom Poland. Poor harbourmasters, not 'nough shipyards, ya see:
If you do, then you may be entitled to a large, cash settlement.
Cap'n Bob "Bob" Johnson, Esq., is here to get you the money YOU deserve.
But don't take it from me -- listen to what one of our clients has to say:
(Actor portrayal, based on actual testimonial.)
"There I was, mindin' me own business, when outta nowheres, this bloke cut 'is throat on me cutlass. Five times. If 't'weren't for Cap'n 'Bob' fightin' for me large, cash settlement, I'd still be a payin' for me carpal tunnel surgery."
Cap'n Bob "Bob" Johnson specializes in cases concerning the otherly-swashed.
Call Cap'n "Bob"... Today!
Inna sticky wicket?
"Bob" be your ticket.
Oar cramp got yer down?
"Bob"'ll bring 'em aroun'.
Call semaphore: triangle, cross, half-hitch, eight. That's triangle, cross, half-hitch, eight. Triangle, cross, half-hitch, eight...
Today!
*Results are not guaranteed. Cash advance required in cases of voodoo-related chicanery.
Featherhand Goldbeard.
Aye, that be me name. Featherhand because ye can oft find me with a feather in me hand - I am one of the few (apar' from the cap'n, Mad Dog McGoon) aboard me ship, The Crooked Sloop, tha' can write, so I be the chronicler, writin' down all tha' happens. Also, occasionally, I help out with medical tasks, administerin' rum and sawin' off gangrenous limbs. And aboot me second name, Goldbeard comes from me gorgeous blonde beard, that shimmers in the light o' the sun, when the salty sea air gently caresses me face. Ah, it be good bein' a pirate.
Smuggling one-headed simians, rum, gunpowder and turtles since 1684.
Why? Well, I'm a large guy and i need a large name. Plus smuggling sounds less violent than piracy.
Nice ring to it.
Captain of the famous ship; "The Barnacle Bleeder". Fulfilling pirate punishments to the upmost for 80 years!
Together with his dread crew and ship, Captain Keelhaulin' Joe sails the high seas through the fiercest storms searching for... a map
Look no further, Matey! Just sail over to "Stan's Previously Owned and Never Returned Maps"
Which differentiates you from than 3.5% of the pirate population, and 39.2% of WoW Undead...
Indeed, I was considered very special
My name is Jake, my nickname is Crow, and Crows are birds so it doesn't seem like too much of a stretch... okay I admit it: I have pirate envy. Jack Sparrow would fit into Monkey Island perfectly.
Captain Steve the Pirate, with my trusted parrot... Mr. Parrot, and my beloved ship... uh... Mr. Ship.
My name's Steve the Pirate because my parents named me Steve, and I became a pirate, even though my parents wanted me to become an accountant. My Parrot is named Mr. Parrot because he is a Parrot, and he's male.
I also have a wife, uh... Mr. Wife...
Arr... you mateys, let's uh... shiver me timbers... and attack a village or something. That's called 'pillaging' right?
AAAAAAAARGH (awesome transformation sounds)
Free at last!!!! My demonic soul has been trapped for decades inside this wimpy, unimaginative land-lubber's body!
I am Lorne Killkraken!!! MURDERER OF THE SEVEN SEAS!!! I burn your women and kidnap your houses!! I will do unspeakable acts to your ships and eat crushed souls for breakfast! AAAAR!! Men die of fear when they hear even the individual letters in my name!! My only weakness is that after two minutes, I will revert back into... oh no... NOOOOOOO!!!! (awesome transformation sounds)
Uh... yeah... I also like to destroy houses with my crew... Mr. Crew...
Do you also drink coffee from Mr. Coffee while watching radar on Mr. Radar?
But not in a bad way, kudos to you
Thank you, and trust me... time is NOT on my side.
Too bad I don't like my workplace, or my job.
I just share the passion that you guys have regarding Monkey Island. It's a wonderful thing for me, to be able to express myself without getting the "What-the-hell-is-Monkey-Island" look from people around me.
I'd love to hear that voice in ToMI : )
I wish I knew someone who didnt give me that look or E-look
Ah, the "What-the-hell-is-Monkey-Island" look. I get that all the time... although now it's more like the "Shut-the-hell-up-about-Monkey-Island" look. Got that one a lot in the run up to Launch of the Screaming Narwhal.
My grandma actually had the patience of listening to me telling her the story of all the four games! She was "thrilled" to hear that there's a fifth...
Lucky! I've never got beyond telling anybody about going to the Scumm Bar for the first time... Some people just don't appreciate Monkey Island.
Poor buggers *shakes head*
I told my grampa and he fakes an intrest
Last name is wood and parents thought of several funny first names before deciding on one not so embarrassing. Good thing they didn't name me Pecker.
"Hi Grampa, let's talk about Monkey Island!"
"Wha--?!"
"I love you too, grampa!"
"Wha--?!"
Needs more "Billy"
"Wha' was that, Billy?!" :P We should probably stop deviating the subject of this thread.
I be Pedrero "Gunner” Grapeshot - Th' Caribbean’s most clinical cannoneer.
I been scuttlin' skiffs since before ye mother started eatin' buscuits.
Aye, 'ave me business carrrrd...
by george I think you've got it!
[Yes, I have got too much time on my hands. This should be a sticky though IMO to make things worthwhile!
It seems to happen when I mention my grampa