Writing practice
Ah crud, somebody move this to General.
Well, seeing as we are all story tellers in some way or at least enjoy stories, let's have this topic for all kinds of stories you've written yourself. It's a great experiment for casual writers and a good exercise for those who want to become great at telling a story.
It can be any type of story, and, if you want, you can introduce yourself to the others. Not as in, I'm this or that, but what you're trying to gain with this story.
The heart of...
By G.A.M. Kertopermono
Introduction
I myself am writing a novel. A Dutch novel that is, seeing as Dutch is my native language, but it's mostly the story I'd love to tell. The stories I tell are mostly sci-fi fantasy, but occasionally I write in other genres. I did attempt at writing a more realistic novel, and I currently do have a good idea for one.
Anyway, the following is a sort of thriller. I actually had to do it twice, seeing as the other one somehow vanished, and I didn't want to continue it anyway because the story scared me lifeless. This version is like the original, but in my opinion it misses that spark which made me quit writing.
Originally I've written this story for a Fallout 3 mod, but seeing as this story works way better as a separate story I decided to give it a try. The ending might be a bit lacking or perhaps even disappointing, but the original concept would have spoiled the scariness of this story anyway.
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I've finally arrived. It wasn't that hard to find the island, the journal had the coordinates almost correctly. I prepared my backpack for the trip to the island, in order to find out what happened to the crew of that ship.
It all started a few weeks ago, when a ship was found lost at sea. When men entered the ship, all they found were the corpses of the crew, all slaughtered. The investigation was concluded when they found the captain. He probably shot himself in the head. A few days later, a journal that was found sort of confirmed this. But the journal contained a lot more, and would be the reason for me to find this island.
This journal logged a lot, how they found the island, and what happened in the days they stayed there. It didn't tell a lot, mostly how some crew members suddenly disappeared, but the most interesting part came at the end. One of the few who explored the island, the captain, came back, driven insane by what they claimed to be the island. What's also interesting is that this place was devoid of life. Not even a single plant grew on it. There weren't even remains of life left.
I don't even know why I volunteered. Most probably because I already had nothing to lose. Well, sure, I had the rest of my life, but other than that, my whole life had been boring. This was my chance to go out on an adventure, see new things. But I didn't prepare for this.
The island wasn't just dead, it was death. At least it felt like death when I arrived there. It was this uneasy feeling that I shouldn't even be there. But there was no turning back. My navigational equipment broke down anyway, and I wouldn't want to go out on sea without a way to get around. So I packed my stuff, and went on land. I had some small flashlights you could clip on, as well as a lantern and a lot of batteries. I also had some food in case I would get lost somewhere.
There was absolutely nothing on this island, at least nothing that showed any sign of life. There was only the remains of the campsite. I did read in the journal that they sped off the island, due to some loud noise, and an upcoming storm. I decided to check the campsite out, to see if there was anything useful. There i did found several things, like some more flashlights, as if I didn't have enough already, some more food, and another journal, this time from the captain himself. I flipped trough the pages.
This didn't comfort me at all. I was about to head back to the boat when all of a sudden a storm came up. I could have tried my way to the boat, but I feared the winds would just blow me off my feet, possibly blowing me off the island. Then I would have been in some deeper problem. I could have also stayed at the campsite, but I decided the safer way, and went to find this cavern. Lucky for me, it wasn't that far.
I went inside, and turn on the lantern. Even then it was dark in here. There was this eerie feeling that just wouldn't go away though, so I quickly turned on several flashlights, some strapped to my backpack. I decided that, since I was inside this cavern anyway, I should just explore it. But the deeper I went, the stronger this feeling became, as if something was right behind me, or even in front of me, but I could not see it, even if I quickly turned around. Eventually I came to what appears to be a passage going down. There was a stairs, with on each step some strange marking. I decided to just follow it down, further and further, to see where it ended. It never seemed to end, and with each step it got darker, even to the point where you would have thought it couldn't get any darker, but it did. On top of that, it was quiet, you couldn't even hear a thing. Try imagining the biggest silence to be imagined. This was tenfold. Yet I could also hear something, chanting. Not actual chanting, yet actual chanting. It's very strange, it's as if you're hearing yourself imagining to hear something.
I finally reached the bottom, where I entered a large room. I don't even know how big this room was. It almost seemed all the light got absorbed by the darkness. I couldn't even see the walls. I walked forward, but as I did, this feeling in my gut told me to turn around, yet I couldn't. I was both repelled at and attracted by something that was in this very room. I really wanted to leave, but something pulled me towards this thing, as a moth drawn towards a candle. The darkness got darker, the silence got more silent, and the chanting... stopped.
I could see it clearly now.
Well, seeing as we are all story tellers in some way or at least enjoy stories, let's have this topic for all kinds of stories you've written yourself. It's a great experiment for casual writers and a good exercise for those who want to become great at telling a story.
It can be any type of story, and, if you want, you can introduce yourself to the others. Not as in, I'm this or that, but what you're trying to gain with this story.
The heart of...
By G.A.M. Kertopermono
Introduction
I myself am writing a novel. A Dutch novel that is, seeing as Dutch is my native language, but it's mostly the story I'd love to tell. The stories I tell are mostly sci-fi fantasy, but occasionally I write in other genres. I did attempt at writing a more realistic novel, and I currently do have a good idea for one.
Anyway, the following is a sort of thriller. I actually had to do it twice, seeing as the other one somehow vanished, and I didn't want to continue it anyway because the story scared me lifeless. This version is like the original, but in my opinion it misses that spark which made me quit writing.
Originally I've written this story for a Fallout 3 mod, but seeing as this story works way better as a separate story I decided to give it a try. The ending might be a bit lacking or perhaps even disappointing, but the original concept would have spoiled the scariness of this story anyway.
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
I've finally arrived. It wasn't that hard to find the island, the journal had the coordinates almost correctly. I prepared my backpack for the trip to the island, in order to find out what happened to the crew of that ship.
It all started a few weeks ago, when a ship was found lost at sea. When men entered the ship, all they found were the corpses of the crew, all slaughtered. The investigation was concluded when they found the captain. He probably shot himself in the head. A few days later, a journal that was found sort of confirmed this. But the journal contained a lot more, and would be the reason for me to find this island.
This journal logged a lot, how they found the island, and what happened in the days they stayed there. It didn't tell a lot, mostly how some crew members suddenly disappeared, but the most interesting part came at the end. One of the few who explored the island, the captain, came back, driven insane by what they claimed to be the island. What's also interesting is that this place was devoid of life. Not even a single plant grew on it. There weren't even remains of life left.
I don't even know why I volunteered. Most probably because I already had nothing to lose. Well, sure, I had the rest of my life, but other than that, my whole life had been boring. This was my chance to go out on an adventure, see new things. But I didn't prepare for this.
The island wasn't just dead, it was death. At least it felt like death when I arrived there. It was this uneasy feeling that I shouldn't even be there. But there was no turning back. My navigational equipment broke down anyway, and I wouldn't want to go out on sea without a way to get around. So I packed my stuff, and went on land. I had some small flashlights you could clip on, as well as a lantern and a lot of batteries. I also had some food in case I would get lost somewhere.
There was absolutely nothing on this island, at least nothing that showed any sign of life. There was only the remains of the campsite. I did read in the journal that they sped off the island, due to some loud noise, and an upcoming storm. I decided to check the campsite out, to see if there was anything useful. There i did found several things, like some more flashlights, as if I didn't have enough already, some more food, and another journal, this time from the captain himself. I flipped trough the pages.
October 13th, 2013. We arrived at an undiscovered island. Our navigational equipment is down, so we are forced to stay here for a while.
October 15th, 2013. My men are getting restless. Some even had this unpleasant feeling, as if they weren't welcome. Still, it's better to stay here and see what we can do about the equipment. Meanwhile, some of my men have found a cavern, with something unusual, something that could point to there having been life previously. I told my men not to explore any further without my orders.
October 16th, 2013. We've lost some of our men. They were exploring the cavern without my orders. I've sent some more men down there, in the hopes of finding at least some of them back.
October 18th, 2013. No word of the crew. If they're not back soon, I might go down myself to go find them.
October 21th, 2013. I've decided to explore the cavern myself, along with some other crew members. I've ordered my second-in-command to get away if I don't get back in a few days.
This didn't comfort me at all. I was about to head back to the boat when all of a sudden a storm came up. I could have tried my way to the boat, but I feared the winds would just blow me off my feet, possibly blowing me off the island. Then I would have been in some deeper problem. I could have also stayed at the campsite, but I decided the safer way, and went to find this cavern. Lucky for me, it wasn't that far.
I went inside, and turn on the lantern. Even then it was dark in here. There was this eerie feeling that just wouldn't go away though, so I quickly turned on several flashlights, some strapped to my backpack. I decided that, since I was inside this cavern anyway, I should just explore it. But the deeper I went, the stronger this feeling became, as if something was right behind me, or even in front of me, but I could not see it, even if I quickly turned around. Eventually I came to what appears to be a passage going down. There was a stairs, with on each step some strange marking. I decided to just follow it down, further and further, to see where it ended. It never seemed to end, and with each step it got darker, even to the point where you would have thought it couldn't get any darker, but it did. On top of that, it was quiet, you couldn't even hear a thing. Try imagining the biggest silence to be imagined. This was tenfold. Yet I could also hear something, chanting. Not actual chanting, yet actual chanting. It's very strange, it's as if you're hearing yourself imagining to hear something.
I finally reached the bottom, where I entered a large room. I don't even know how big this room was. It almost seemed all the light got absorbed by the darkness. I couldn't even see the walls. I walked forward, but as I did, this feeling in my gut told me to turn around, yet I couldn't. I was both repelled at and attracted by something that was in this very room. I really wanted to leave, but something pulled me towards this thing, as a moth drawn towards a candle. The darkness got darker, the silence got more silent, and the chanting... stopped.
I could see it clearly now.
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As for me, I've been working on a series of short comedy fantasy stories, but I think it might be turning into a book. The problem is that I'm often too busy to write, and when I do have time, I just want to relax instead of write. But I am working on it, slowly but surely. Here are the 5 chapters that I have finished so far: http://sheepstomach.freei.me/writings/struglend/
The characters are teenagers, and I had the idea for Hope's thing years ago. I roleplayed her for a while after that.
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After dinner, Hope leaned on the fence and watched the sun go down. It was getting chilly, but she did her best not to let the cold frighten her. She refused to spend the first sunset of her life huddled in front of the fire, just because she'd spent her life knowing that being cold meant being dead.
The sunset was pretty, she had to admit. It wasn't nearly as good as the ones in books and movies, which were generally red and orange and purple and pink over half the sky, but the yellow glow in the... in the whatever direction she was facing was nice. West, probably. She was impressed just being there, underneath it.
"Hope! What are you doing?"
That was Reggie's voice. It sounded like something had upset him. Well, it wasn't Hope's fault if she didn't know the right ways to guests to behave. She'd shared a building with the population of the entire world all her life. "Watching the sun set," she replied, without turning around.
Reggie grabbed her arm, and Hope whirled around, taking a breath to snap at him. But then she saw his expression.
"Um... what's wrong?" He looked the way Benjamin had looked on the day the blackness had breached the walls. Hope wasn't sure it was possible to look more scared than that.
He started pulling her towards the house, saying "You're outside! That's what's wrong!"
"What?" said Hope, running to keep up. It wasn't the cold, was it?
Reggie slammed the door the second they got inside. He was breathing heavily. "You don't have them where you're from. I forgot."
Again, there was no emphasis on the word "them". He just spoke quickly and quietly.
"No," said Hope. "We just have advancing walls of blackness that swallow the universe. Anyway, I didn't step in any fairy rings. What's the problem?" She still had her doubts that whatever Reggie was so scared of really existed, but she couldn't forget the way he had looked.
"Fairy rings just attract them," said Reggie. "They hate the light, and they come after dark." His last sentence sounded rehearsed, like he'd been taught it by rote.
Hope shook her head. Surely nothing was that frightening, except for advancing walls of blackness that swallowed the universe, of course. "What exactly are they? And if they're so scary, how will coming in here help? You didn't even lock the door!"
"You'll see," said Reggie, lowering his voice. "Once the sun falls behind the hills they'll come. We're safe in here. They can't get inside places."
"Oh, so they're vampires now?" said Hope. To hide her nervousness, she glanced out the window. The sun had nearly set, and she was even more on edge. Because she missed the sun. She'd never had the sun. She wasn't scared of these fairy vampire monster things. Reggie was probably exaggerating. Probably. He was exaggerating.
"Huh?" she said, realising that Reggie had said something. "I'm not-- I mean, huh?"
"What's a vampire?" said Reggie again. "I don't think they're those."
Hope opened her mouth, and closed it when she heard a strange, echoing noise. It sounded like a moan, the way she assumed a bug would sound, and the wind, and it sounded like it had come from a long way away. "That wasn't..."
Reggie nodded. "They're out to the east already. Remember, as long as you stay indoors, they can't hurt you."
That sound had drained the last of Hope's confidence. "What do you mean by hurt us? Exactly?" For a second she wanted to go home, until she remembered how she'd got there.
Reggie looked pained, but he replied "My uncle was taken a few years back. We... There was nothing to bury."
"If you don't find the bodies, how do you know they kill people? The darkness turned--"
"Just a lot of blood." His voice was beginning to crack.
Also, it was dark outside. Hope stared out the window, wondering if she'd asked too many questions. It might have been her imagination, but after a few of minutes, she was sure she could see giant shadows moving around. They looked as though they were geting closer.
--
Yeah, I'm not really the best writer in the world.