My mental health problem

I'm going to a psychiatrist about this in a few days but I thought i'd get some other peoples opinions to see if they have dealt with anything like this. A few years back i started having these blackouts. They would feel like they would happen in an instant but then id wake up and sometimes minutes or even hours have passed and usually im in a different place from when i blacked out. I had this sudden feeling of guilt like i had done something wrong but i had no clue what this was. I later hear from my mom that there had been payments coming out of her bank account for various things that I possibly bought. I had no idea of any of this but she saw that it couldve only have been me. I pieced everything else to me realising that i had done this but at the same time i knew that whilst i did it, it still felt like i didnt. I looked online at these symptoms and what they could mean and i was mostly lead to D.I.D (Dissociative Identity Disorder). After realising this i felt like I was able to control it and i think i did for a while but recently ive been having the same symptoms of the blackouts and the guilt and at some point after piecing everything together i had realised that I had done something that I wanted to do but the way that this was carried out was horrible and it wouldnt of been something that i wouldve done.

It is related to a girl and i got asked that if i had done this action to which i answered no because i had no remembrance of doing such a thing. I wondered why she thought that it was me at first so i looked into it and everything points to me and by looking at it i know its me but at the same time i dont remember doing it nor do i remember what i did during that time that it was taken place.

Comments

  • WHEWWWW idk what to say to this

  • Jeez that sounds crazy good thing you decided to go to a psychiatrist. As I was reading this I thought it was some kind of form of sleepwalking but going to completely different places idk. Do you usually see anything while your blocked out like a vision of something cause I know some people who have seen weird things in thier sleep.

  • I dont think it was sleepwalking but idk. The blackouts feel like they last a second but like i said minutes or even hours will have passed in between. One of the more recent ones i had was me just laying down on my bed then next thing i know im standing outside my front door in different clothes that i was wearing before and between the two times about an hour had passed.

    Creeper1846 posted: »

    Jeez that sounds crazy good thing you decided to go to a psychiatrist. As I was reading this I thought it was some kind of form of sleepwalk

  • Wow I never heard of something like this. I hope your psychiatrist can help.

    I dont think it was sleepwalking but idk. The blackouts feel like they last a second but like i said minutes or even hours will have passed

  • Yep get this checked out asap get brain scan

    Don't want scare you worst case scenario but could do something serious or do serious damage to others or yourself so want make sure you have medical check confirming all this just in case or could get locked up for long time. You need evidence before anything happens to protect yourself.

    Sounds like damage to brain this usually get worse and worse as get older so get help when still bearable

    Best of luck keep us updated on this story as it progresses

  • Definitely keep getting help, because this could be extremely dangerous not just to you but to others as well.

  • edited July 2017

    I don't mean to alarm you but that sounds really serious and to be honest, I don't think anyone on these forums are gonna have any good advice for you, from my experience at least.

    I don't even know what to say except; you can overcome anything if you have to will to do so.
    And I don't necessarily mean that all you have to do is think that you can control it, but if you keep trying, both physically and mentally, and don't give up.

    From what I gather, you're having blackouts but you're still doings things during that time but don't remember doing them?
    I wonder if you could record your thoughts constantly throughout the day, either by writing or audio recording, and reviewing them after you have a blackout? Perhaps, if you get into the habit of doing this, you might record what you're thinking whilst you're "in a blackout"? I don't know, or maybe you're a mindless zombie when it happens?
    Have your friends or family seen you doing things during your "blackouts", and if so, do they notice a difference in you?
    Maybe you're friends should keep a close eye on you for now?

    Also, have you had any trauma happen to you?

    I'm glad that you're seeking help from a psychiatrist. Make sure that they are someone that you can fully trust, sometimes this can take a while to find someone that you are fully comfortable with... as there can be some whack jobs that work in this field. (...And anywhere, really.)

    Good luck.

  • I'm so sorry. I've never been in your place so can't do anything but send you my best wishes.

  • Yeah it definitely sounds like Dissociative Identity Disorder with these blackouts where you've still been going about life with no recollection of it, and doing things you normally wouldn't do. This sounds pretty serious though if you've committing crimes and with whatever happened with that girl. Then again if could be something else entirely that needs to get checked on asap. I'd take Mark's advice on getting a brain scan to rule out anything there.

    But yes you need to see somebody about this possible D.I.D right away, and keep a medical record of it, even record when you have the blackouts and inform your mom about them if she doesn't know already.

    Also have a check on here as there may be something that can help:
    https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/dissociative-disorders/?gclid=CjwKCAjw2NvLBRAjEiwAF98GMc4KaYuRNqssrT2_roIDGteHLQzW9uIW6MPBGNq_A43Es-eGvCY5VBoCOIYQAvD_BwE#.WXaNuojyvIV

  • edited July 2017

    Sounds crazy and I'm sorry you're dealing with this and hope you get proper help. If it's any consolation, the whole experience at least gives you a potential premise for a movie. So you got that I guess.

  • Is this really shit you want to tell random people on the internet?

    It's a good thing you're going to a shrink, since talking to a professional is far more likely to help than shouting at the empty netherworld that is the internet.

    Good luck in your treatments.

  • And you keep making alt accounts and spamming us with porn.

    Get some spy equipment for yourself so you can make sure you dont do anything crazy. Tell everyone you know. Honestly if something did happen ei rape or something else this would come across as a shitty excuse and you might not be believed plenty of psychos lie and use excuses like this, someone I knew used to do weird shit and pretend he forgot just to mentally abuse people (its called gaslighting).

    Try to never be alone.

  • What are you buying during the blackouts? Online? Or going places?

    If it was me I would go back and ask people about it there.

    Assuming this actually happened I would be curious to ask them if my personality was different when I was there buying things. Then assuming they aren't freaked out or stuck up maybe even ask them to let me see security footage of myself in the building.

  • Seriously no one said anything about Norman Bates? He is totally Norman. He kills people and wont stop.

    Jokes aside: Man Im sorry to hear that. Hopefully the psych doc can help u out.

  • This is some Fight Club/Mr. Robot shit right there.
    That sounds really freaky, I hope the psychiatrist can help you.
    Good luck in the future mate, best of wishes. :D

  • Thank you Walker. I'm sure Unknown appreciates you cracking a joke about a character from Psycho who commits murders, and comparing him to that said character.

    Even if you meant well, mental health isn't something you joke about, especially in these circumstances with D.I.D where he might be scared after doing stuff he can't recall. If you were in the same situation would you really want somebody saying something insensitive like implying jokingly you're going to go out and kill people? He needs support right now.

    WalkerHH93 posted: »

    Seriously no one said anything about Norman Bates? He is totally Norman. He kills people and wont stop. Jokes aside: Man Im sorry to hear that. Hopefully the psych doc can help u out.

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