Talltale, you've really screwed us over this time! (STRONG LANGUAGE!)

Merry frakkin ho ho holidays, Talltale. It's now after midnight on the 22nd of December and the game isn't out yet... Obviously it's not out because you're at home sleeping the night away. What the hell is the matter with you bastards? You are our slaves. You get your asses back to work and finish the damn game right now or you're all fired! And that's not even all that's wrong about this game! Not even close! Your company is over after tonight!

What the hell is up with the late releases in Debuary for the demo and for the PS3. In my opinion you should have released the demo NEVER because obviously nobody cares about your game. You should have also released the PS3 version on the XBOX360 because I personally think the PS3 sucks hairy gricklemonkey balls! And what the hell is up with the damn pricing variations everywhere for the season. One website has it for a penny and another for 50 cents and another for twenty dollars and another for one billion dollars but you only have it listed as twenty-five dollars? You don't deserve to live for your utter stupidity, Talltale. I hope you all DIE from the AIDS you have all contracted from the whore you all serve known as company expansion. You should have sold the game for TWO BILLION DOLLARS to make everyone appreciate how much better twenty-five dollars would have been. And why didn't you FORCE Michael J. Fox to play Marty? Why didn't you beat his brains in and drag his motionless, unconscious corpse into your recording studio? What were you afraid of? That you'd make him cry? You PUSSIES. What the hell were you thinking with this piece of non-GTA dog shit anyway? Why isn't it free roam, Talltale!? I want to be able to sneak around Strickland's house and be there when he forgets to draw his curtains, so I can see him get angry with his wife because she's a slacker in the sack. I want to be able to drive my Delorian over puppies. I want to be able to shoot people in the dick. That's the true spirit of Back to the Future. Sex, puppies, and being shot in the dick. I feel like I've been shot in the dick. Or at least that's what would happen if I was a character in a good Back to the Future game, like those old LJN titles on the old Nintendo consoles.

I hope Tom Wilson shows up at your offices, punches each and every one of you inside the assholes, and you explode into tiny pieces from how much awesome was shoved into your bodies. I hope his glare melts your faces off as if he has heat vision. Because he does have heat vision. HE DOES. I READ IT ON THE INTERNET. And he'll say, "Now. Now you can't get away. From hells heart I melt thee. For hates sake I shove my fist in thee." Because he's badass.

What did you do to yourselves? Snort rocks until they filled up your skulls and your brains plopped out because there was no room? I bet that only took like five seconds of rock snorting because your brain cavities are so tiny like babies. Who is running your company for you? Your mommies? As far as I'm concerned the only credits you should have at the end of your games, each and every one of you, is one long credit list under 'Official Mommy Teet Suckers And Blankie Huggers'. How could you be such buttheads? Don't try to explain yourselves. Telltale is now known as the Father of Lies. I got news for you. You ain't runnin' but two things right now. Jack and Shit. And Jack left town.

You're also running...hell because you are the devil.

You're also running...over puppies, schoolchildren, and grandmas. That you sold crack to.

You're also running...out of love for your true country. North Korea.

You're also running...into my fist if I ever see any of you on the street.

You're also running...from your nose and asses. So instead of doing any real work you just wipe your noses and asses all day.

And finally you're running...your incredibly-new barely-real-fans-at-all fans away.

20a3uiu.jpg
«1

Comments

  • edited December 2010
    What the hell is Debuary?:D
  • edited December 2010
    alorion wrote: »
    What the hell is Debuary?:D

    http://www.telltalegames.com/forums/showthread.php?t=21315

    Deburary : The resulting typo of the word February from extreme nerd rage.
  • edited December 2010
    Two months before Gebruary.

    A month in a alternate calender where the year is divided into 9 months, from Aebruary to Lebruary, only whilst the earth hasn't fully moved around the sun (yes, it's this way and not the other way around). The rest of the time, known as the Komala, mankind acts in a unusual way and each person lifes an alternative life in order to compensate/recondition the daily madness from the rest of the year. Afterwards people don't speak about what has happened in this period and return to their nomal lifes again.
  • edited December 2010
    I don't think carbon 14 is really that dense. In fact, it's not dense at all compared to metals.
  • edited December 2010
    bakntime wrote: »
    I don't think carbon 14 is really that dense. In fact, it's not dense at all compared to metals.

    *facepalm. He's saying he's smart (I think).
  • edited December 2010
    Jesus Christ, it's not going to be out at the time you want it to be, it's when it's "frakking" ready as you say, it's out today, deal with it, stop being rude and impatient, for all we know it could be ready to release in an hour, go do something better than complain at telltale because you can't wait for less than 24 hours
  • edited December 2010
    georgec

    fawful's been here for a while

    this is a joke

    and you're missing it
  • edited December 2010
    I presume he's just being funny and trying to distill all the forum whining into a single post; falls flat for me but I'm sure it tickles someones tootsies
  • edited December 2010
    Giant Tope wrote: »
    georgec

    fawful's been here for a while

    this is a joke

    and you're missing it

    I was joking too you know :rolleyes:
  • edited December 2010
    The "fake" hate post, great. Nice homage. We had hate posts not only for EACH Season of Telltale Releases but almost EVERY SINGLE Episode they released.

    You have to keep in mind:
    Telltale Release Dates (according to Global Time) are Fake and Gay!

    Kind Regards and Kudos
  • edited December 2010
    Obligatory mod post.


    Mind you, I don't want to be caught slowposting*, this is a forum, you know.





    * Whatever the hell THAT is.
  • edited December 2010
    Spykes wrote: »
    http://www.telltalegames.com/forums/showthread.php?t=21315

    Deburary : The resulting typo of the word February from extreme nerd rage.
    You learn something new everyday.:D
  • edited December 2010
    Seriously though, I'm guessing all that are complaining its not out yet are young new people.
    Was like this for ToMI! Every Episode at that!.....
    You'd think they'd get the hint its Pacific Time by now, or for new TT customers, RTFM, or RTFFAQs in this case.

    STOP MAKING "ITS 12AM, WHERE IS THE EPISODE!" POSTS/COMMENTS DAMNIT! Or Father Christmas won't deliver your Barbie Dolls! :mad:

    I wont expect it until after midnight 23rd as I'm in UK.

    SO CHILL!
  • edited December 2010
    @jp-30

    It's 'slowchatting'!!!
    And you should know what that is being a moderator.
    Don't they have you make tests or something? Sheesh..
  • edited December 2010
    I just want my free episode NAO!~ (Never doing that again)

    I dunt wantto wate till debuary 4 a game i didnt pay 4!
  • edited December 2010
    I laughed.

    But you forgot "The graphics are too cartoony."
  • edited December 2010
    Plus 'the game is too short' even though that wouldn't make sense.
  • edited December 2010
    Telltaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaale.... Yer breaking my heeeeeeaaaaarrrrttt......
  • edited December 2010
    We waited 20 years for this moment. I'm pretty sure we can survive another couple of hours!

    Chill people chill!

    EDIT: Oh, its a fake post?! Damn, I'm thick sometimes. :-)
  • edited December 2010
    bambi wrote: »
    You have to keep in mind:
    Telltale Release Dates (according to Global Time) are Fake and Gay!

    Because real and straight are so much better for Telltale Release Dates.
  • edited December 2010
    They see me trollin' they hatin'...
  • edited December 2010
    dude! It's gonna be released some time in the afternoon or this evening!! Take it from a guy who's ordered full seasons from TTG 4 times!!!! my advice: play any OTHER TT games you have to pass the time
  • edited December 2010
    W A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a A A A A A *burp* A A A A A A a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a h...
  • edited December 2010
    hrm, crazy or insane, people got :P
  • edited December 2010
    I hate you Telltale! You're so fricken awesome... wait, I mean stupid!

    I'll never buy any games from you, just like I'm glad I've never bought anything from Telltale before except for Sam & Max Season 1, 2, 3, ToMI, SBCG4AP, W&G and Poker Night... wait, that's a lot.

    Anyways... Telltale, you suck! I only ever hope that you wildly succeed!... I mean fail!... I mean... umm... yeah.
  • edited December 2010
    Maybe I'm lame but I think these fake hate threads are pretty annoying.

    And I probably have to mention that this is not a joke.
  • edited December 2010
    haters.gif
  • edited December 2010
    That's the true spirit of Back to the Future. Sex, puppies, and being shot in the dick.

    *slow clap*
  • edited December 2010
    Secret Fawful wins one TTG Forum.

    Enjoy your hatred and fury for about 4 or so odd hours XP.
  • VainamoinenVainamoinen Moderator
    edited December 2010
    I'm keeping this open, but ever so slightly edited the title after Fawful was ACTUALLY REPORTED by community members. Can you believe that, Secret? People still being shocked by those rather repetitive posts? :D
  • edited December 2010
    I'm keeping this open, but ever so slightly edited the title after Fawful was ACTUALLY REPORTED by community members. Can you believe that, Secret? People still being shocked by those rather repetitive posts? :D

    Ha he got reported. Looks like some new users didnt know he has been around for a while. Of course they are new, and this is within forums of actual rage.
  • edited December 2010
    telltaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaale.... Yer breaking my heeeeeeaaaaarrrrttt......
    you're tearing me apart telltale
  • edited December 2010
    Telltaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaale.... Yer breaking my heeeeeeaaaaarrrrttt......

    *Tommy Wiseu accent" YOU'RE TEARING ME APART TELLTALE!

    Also, is Debuary anything like Smarch? Lousy Smarch weather.
  • edited December 2010
    Ashki wrote: »
    *Tommy Wiseu accent" YOU'RE TEARING ME APART TELLTALE!

    :D.
  • edited December 2010
    :D.

    Sorry, I couldn't help myself, particurly after finishing the game based on that movie.
  • edited December 2010
    I find it astounding that anyone could read this all the way... No, past the first line, and think that it is a serious complaint!
  • edited December 2010
    I am so glad I clicked into this thread, at first I was all 'OHHHH, here we go', but awesome. Pure awesome.
  • edited December 2010
    This thread is sheer ridiculousness. I saw it was't available (THEY NEVER MENTIONED MIDNIGHT LAUNCH!!) I was like oh I'll go do something else. Then I took a long nap. Now the icon is up, now the freaked hysteria ragers should please quiet down a little bit. You'll be playing it before yuo know it. :)
  • VainamoinenVainamoinen Moderator
    edited December 2010
    You'll be playing it before yuo know it. :)

    Ohhhh... if only. ;)
  • edited December 2010
    I think this is supposed to be a parody of those "No game today? Telltale sux" threads. Or at least I hope it is.
Sign in to comment in this discussion.