Safety first! 6 days since last accident...

TelltaleGames

One of the great things we have in our company is a wiki. Its purpose? To provide any and all information that a Telltale employee could possibly need... from a listing of employee cell phone numbers to a rarely-updated shopping list to a company accident report. That's right, an accident report.



You wouldn't even notice it if you weren't looking for it. Down at the very bottom of the main wiki page, underneath Frequently Asked Questions (sample: "Why is Jon Sgro so grumpy? Because he doesn't have a basketball hoop."), is an unassuming bullet point that reads Safety First! 6 Days Since Last Accident. Clicking on the equally unassuming link pulls up a list that reads, in its entirety, as follows:



Workplace Accident Log

Many accidents waiting to happen.
• 3/4/2005 - J.Sgro's chair fails to support body resulting in head contacting ground - mild concussion.
• 3/10/2005 - H.Logas touches J.Sgro resulting in electrocution in J.Sgro's left ear.
• 3/21/2005 - J.Sgro's chair pins pinky against desk resulting in bloody and swollen finger
• 4/5/2005 - B.Buddy sustains puncture wound by right clavicle - suffers shortage of air, unable to perform duties for 24 hours as patch cures.
• 4/27/2005 - G.McDermott injures left arm while enjoying crystal-clear Whole Foods brand water. The resulting effect is water spillage on desk, carpet, and personal clothing.
• 6/8/2005 - B.Buddy #2 appears to be suffering from bad posture and a lack of motivation. Upon exam it is determined that B.Buddy #2 has sustained a tear on the back of the neck. The victim will be prepped and bandaged.
• 6/9/2005 - While walking by G.Annable's desk, J.Sgro is cut on the right index finger by a stack of papers. Mouse-clicking will be kept to a minimum as the wound heals.
• 08/10/2005 - J.Sgro trying to throw a Mr. Goodbar J.Crouse, hit R.Tudor in the mouth with the candy bar, causing him to stagger back. R.Tudor seems to be fine and his work will not be interrupted by the injury.
• 03/06/2006 - J.Sgro endures unknown injury. Only symptom is the exclamation of the word 'ow' and increased surliness. A full recovery is hoped for, but not expected.
• 06/07/2006 - At least a dozen adorable sea monkeys (give or take a few) suffered a tragic fall into the depths of the stained aquamarine carpet near Heather's desk. Their absence will be felt dearly.

We were doing well there for a while. August 2005 through June 2006 were relatively accident-free. Of course, during this timeframe Telltale came out with three games, so it could be that everyone was too busy working to get hurt (or, at least, too busy working to write up the injury). In any case, there are a few things that stand out to me about this list:



1) The majority of these injuries are in some way related to Jon Sgro. Could it have something to do with his lack of a basketball hoop?



2) The last accident was not, in fact, 6 days ago. By my count, it's been more than 70. Or could it be that time moves slower in this office than everywhere else in the world? Is this the development secret that will allow Telltale to release 6 Sam & Max episodes in just 7 months starting this October? Is the portrait of Fone Bone on our wall gradually getting older, while everyone in the office gets younger? (No wonder he's bald!)



I have to say, looking back at the accident-prone spring of 2005, I'm a little bit envious of those carefree days. Back then, Telltale must have been a fun place to work. These days it seems like all we do is sit around and play through the pilot episode of Sam & Max over and over and over. Next thing you know we'll be dropping large pieces of office equipment out of the windows onto unsuspecting passers-by... and then we'll log onto the wiki and report it. 1 Day Until Next Accident!