make your own talk beetween S&M

Make a hilarious talk between S&M.

Something like this:

Max: Sam that guy is looking suspicious. I better ask him a few questions, steel his wallet and beet the snot out of him.
Sam: Don't i get to do anything?
Max: Sure, you can convince the guy that there is no point in suing detectives.

Comments

  • ArtArt
    edited February 2009
    Make a hilarious talk between S&M.

    Something like this:

    Max: Sam that guy is looking suspicious. I better ask him a few questions, steel his wallet and beet the snot out of him.
    Sam: Don't i get to do anything?
    Max: Sure, you can convince the guy that there is no point in suing detectives.

    Why?
  • edited February 2009
    Art wrote: »
    Why?

    Because it's fun, that's why. XD

    Max: I heard if you breathe too fast, the oxygen can't get to your brain fast enough and you black out.
    Sam: Yeah, but you don't have a brain.
  • edited February 2009
    ....
  • edited February 2009
    Or maybe:

    Max: Sam, look! That guy ate the last cookie!
    Sam: So?
    Max: Nothing, I'm just pointing out that graves are expansive in New York.
  • edited February 2009
    heheh, nice! XD

    Keep them coming.. I'd rather not to, with my non-native english I'd just ruin the S&M spirit if I'd try to make up something. D:
  • edited February 2009
    Max: Sam, I think I'm in love with you...
    Sam: Are you sure? You said you were in love with the curtains last week.
    Max: No, I'm pretty sure it's love this time....wait, it might just be gas.
    Sam: Well, thank god for that! I'm not spending money on a big expensive wedding.
  • edited February 2009
    Does this whole scene that I wrote because I wished you could do this in Chariots of the Dogs count?

    Spoilers for Chariots of the Dogs, by the way.

    [Use the DNA sampler on Sam]
    Sam: You never know when you'll need a sample of your own DNA.
    Max: I'll say. How many times have you needed to frame yourself for a crime you didn't commit, and forgotten the DNA?

    [Look at Sam's DNA]
    Sam: It's a sample of my DNA.

    [Use Sam's DNA on the babymaker]
    Sam: Hey Max, you watch a lot of late night sci-fi, don't you?
    Max: It's called speculative fiction, Sam. "Sci-fi" is just insulting.
    Sam: Of course, how could I degrade the noble art of the B-movie?
    Max: My favourite is the one where the aliens mutate all the world's lemurs into giant horned killing machines and in the end Joe Everyman from small town American saves the world.
    Sam: Anyway, what if, through some bizarre twist of predestination, Bosco's father turned out to be one of us?
    Max: Ooh! Ooh! Pick me! Pick me!
    Sam: Never in a million years.

    [Return to the spaceship]
    (Bosco is covered in brown fur and wears a suit similar to Sam's)
    Sam: Whoops.
    Max: I told you we should've used my DNA!
    Sam: I don't think Bosco has any shark in his ancestry, Max.

    [Talk to Bosco]
    Sam: Uh... Hi, Bosco.
    Bosco: (Like Sam) Hey Max. (Looks at Sam) Hey, uhhh... fool.

    [Say "Who was your father again?"]
    Sam: Can you tell us anything more about your father?
    Bosco: Uh, didn't I already tell you fools I was a test tube baby?
    Max: Sure, but we were hoping your sudden animalistic charm would help us see the problem in a new light.
    Bosco: You crack me up, little fool.
    Sam: (>: face) Don't say that.
    Bosco: Oh, all right. I think my mama said something about my dad being a polite man in a dark suit, but... I wasn't paying attention.
    Max: Because she wasn't talking about guns or violence?
    Bosco: You know me too well, Max.

    [Say "But I'm Sam!"]
    (There was something here, but I hate it so it's gone)

    [Exit the conversation]
    Max: Sit. Stay. Good boy.
    Bosco: Hey!
    Sam: (simultaneously) Hey!

    [Talk to Max. Say "I don't like Bosco like this"]
    Sam: We better hurry and get Bosco back to his old self.
    Max: Can we keep him like this, Sam? Pleeeaaase?
    Sam: No way.

    That was pretty hard to write, actually. Stupid Sam not having particularly iconic character traits. Also I got tired halfway through, and I can't write particularly cleverly when I'm tired.

    That's mostly a talk between Sam and Max. And Bosco Sam. I just have trouble writing conversations with no context.
  • edited February 2009
    @Shwoo: wow, I'm impressed! seriously! and I nearly laughed my face off :D
  • edited February 2009
    TV: Are cameras just picked up a shocking image!
    (Whizzer shows up on the TV)
    Whizzer: I'm just peeing in the rain, just peeing in the rain...
    Max: Ewwwww! Sam, i don't think that Whizzer is my hero any more.
    Sam: Its a shame that he couldn't hold it to the bathroom.
  • edited February 2009
    Sam: I don't know how we'll ever get into that wedding party.
    Max: We could disguise ourselves as a couple of sexy bridesmaids and...
    Sam: I really hope you don't finish that sentence.
  • edited February 2009
    @Shwoo: wow, I'm impressed! seriously! and I nearly laughed my face off :D
    Heh, thanks. I'm glad you enjoyed reading it.
  • edited February 2009
    Max: Where are we going Sam?
    Sam: Max, we're not even by our car.
    Max: I know, I just like saying it.
  • edited February 2009
    Max: Hey Sam, Why aren't I allowed to fire Nukes at whatever country I want?
    Sam: Because after George W. Bush we don't wanna take any chances.
  • edited February 2009
    Sam: Thumbs up!
    Max: ...
    Sam: Give my a smile!
    Max: :mad:
    Sam: Wooooooh!
    Max: :p
    Sam: Where did those stairs come from :confused:
  • edited February 2009
    Max: Sam, where does toast come from?
    Sam: Well, Max, when a mommy toaster and a daddy toaster love each other very much--
    Max: Ooh, I found a nickle!
  • edited February 2009
    This is Strong Bad discussion. Sam and Max is across the street.
    (all the morons of USA get up, go outside, and walk across the street. Then they get hit by a car.)
  • edited February 2009
    MAX: Hey Sam, let's do impressions of eachother!
    SAM: Okay, You go first.
    MAX: Okay, Uhh... "You cwack me up wittle buddy!"
    SAM: Needs improvement.
    MAX: Okay then, Do me!
    SAM: Ummmm.... "Hey Sam, Why am I always asking annoying Questions?"
    MAX: Oh! That one is Perfect!
  • edited February 2009
    duduman56 wrote: »
    This is Strong Bad discussion. Sam and Max is across the street.
    (all the morons of USA get up, go outside, and walk across the street. Then they get hit by a car.)

    This includes you hopefully
  • edited March 2009
    duduman56 wrote: »
    This is Strong Bad discussion. Sam and Max is across the street.
    (all the morons of USA get up, go outside, and walk across the street. Then they get hit by a car.)
    I don't believe you should be allowed to call other people morons if you believe that everyone on the Internet is American and that this board is Strong Bad only.

    I guess I should post another exchange. I'll just post a part from a fanfic I need to edit so that it doesn't suck. In this scene, Sam and Max are dead and are on the train from 205.


    "Sure is quiet in here," [Sam] said.

    "It's boring, Sam!" replied Max, trying to balance on the back on his chair and nearly falling on his face. He cupped his hands over his mouth. "Hey guys, lighten up! Live a little!"

    "We're dead, you moron!" someone called back in a wobbly, tearful voice. Sam heard a muffled sob from behind them.

    "Whiners," said Max.


    Like I said, it needs editing.
  • edited March 2009
    Haha, I actually stole this from someone else. XD

    Max: Check it out, Sam! It's Matt Damon!
    Sam: Yeah, pretty sure that's not Matt Damon.
    Max: No, it is!
    Sam: Well, "Matt Damon" just picked up a broom and started sweeping.
  • edited April 2009
    This is from a story idea I had for an alternate universe where slavery is legal and fairly common, and not at all limited to a single race. I enjoy slave AUs because it's fun to mess up all the relationships and see if I can still keep the characters recognisably themselves. I don't think I'll write it, but I did like this part. Here, Sam and Max are talking to Sybil about slavery.

    Max: Just think what the world would be like today if the South had lost the Civil war.
    Sybil: The South did lose the Civil War, Max.
    Max: Oh, right. Sam, which world changing event caused humanity to continue enslaving their fellow man well into the twenty-first century?
    Sam: Err... the Louisiana Purchase?

    Max's confusion of the US and the world was deliberate.
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