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What have I done?

SaemunderSaemunder
edited May 2014 in The Walking Dead
Not the choices that were made or in some places how obvious they seemed to be pointing in a specific way. But what have I done? After finishing episode 3 I feel uneasy about the type of person that I am, there was no hesitation, no second thought. Is it that easy? What a terrifying thought.

What about you? Has the end of episode 3 made you take a step back and think of the type of person you are? Do you think you've changed from season 1 till now because of the game? Or more properly phrased has the game changed the way you see the world?

*edited to contain spoilers, discussions below have some mild spoilers not everyone will want to see

Comments

  • sardinessardines
    Yes, actually. When I finished episode 3, I just -- I just kind of took a metaphorical step back and felt /horrible/ for the decisions I'd made. Sure, I tried as much as I could to take the blame for others and to protect my friends, but I also probably contributed in a lot of their deaths (trusting so blindly in Kenny; I know I know it actually probably doesn't matter, but) and I /chopped someone's fucking arm off/ with no hesitation AT ALL. Like, literally, I just... instant reaction, went for the arm with a coldness I didn't even know I had in me.

    It's weird, because I made some pretty horrible decisions in season 1 too - helping make sure Larry didn't turn, not shooting the girl in the street, etc. But... it was much easier to distance myself from those decisions, especially when I was intentionally playing to get Kenny on my side (having seen him on the episode 5 image.) Playing as an 11-year-old girl... I'm just shocked at what I've turned out to capable of, especially when I didn't think myself this type of person.

    I also feel like maybe I'm getting... desensitized to it somehow? Just like Clem is. I typically would react to things with appropriate freak outs and a wide range of emotions (only thing is, I've never cried playing this game, not once - not even when Lee died - but I just don't cry at games or movies), but when Carlos died I just... didn't react. At all. Probably because I saw it coming. Huh.

    I feel like a worse person, or at least more pragmatic, than I used to think I was. The game's definitely changed how I feel about /me./

    Also - I'd always maintained the outlook to friends and family, when talking about the possibility of an apocalypse, that I would not be afraid of one because I would feel it would bring people /together/ instead of driving them apart. I've always thought that the good in everyone would come out when so few of us are left. But now... after this episode, when I just kept saying "why is ____ being so /mean/?" at every corner... I'm starting to realize maybe TWD is onto something. Maybe there isn't good in everyone. And maybe an apocalypse would do just the opposite - bring out the /bad./

    This was probably stupidly deep and also meaningless, and you didn't even mean for a response like this to come about from your post, haha. Sorry.
  • JustSomeGuy-JustSomeGuy-
    Don't apologize. Your comment stands as a monument to what makes The Walking Dead so great. This is what the game is able to achieve that no other can, and this is why we all love it so much. Well said, friend.
    sardines posted: »

    Yes, actually. When I finished episode 3, I just -- I just kind of took a metaphorical step back and felt /horrible/ for the decisions I'd m

  • ArthurMatrixArthurMatrix
    Since Season 2 started i've been trying to keep my humanity as much as possible. Not staying to watch Carver die was a step ahead for me, since deep inside i wanted to watch it, but i didn't and i'm proud of that.

    So no, i think i still haven't changed much. Altough i'm waiting for telltale to do that ''move'', just like they did in episode 3 of TWAU, to make me start becoming more brutal.
  • sayakamikisayakamiki
    edited May 2014
    I didn't really feel like I made any bad decisions to be honest. I won't say I've always made the most 'morally right' decisions (however I do when I can) but I do feel good with the choices I made. I try to keep Clem's humanity as much as possible but I'm not afraid to be pragmatic.

    Although, I am a bit desensitized to the violence. I've almost begun to expect it. It's as not shocking as it was in S1 anymore though. I was literally shaking when Larry got his head crushed, but the most I've felt out of a gore scene in S2 is moderate disgust. Desensitization is inevitable, I guess.
  • TheseTearsAreRealTheseTearsAreReal
    I told Carver that I was nothing like him. But I don't know if I believe that anymore.
  • SaemunderSaemunder
    Your post is exactly why I made the discussion. There is a very subtle something that after it was all done made me step back and think.
    sardines posted: »

    Yes, actually. When I finished episode 3, I just -- I just kind of took a metaphorical step back and felt /horrible/ for the decisions I'd m

  • SaemunderSaemunder
    ArthurMatrix, sayakamiki. I notice that both of you made choices that you thought were best for Clem. What if it were you there and you could choose to walk away or stay? Like ArthurMatrix said, he wanted to watch it even though he didn't. Our humanity doesn't erode all in one go but in tiny parts just like an ocean claiming more land. Just that desire to watch, that feeling that you made no bad decisions - Isn't that enough to show you what type of a person you are given the choices that you made?

    I agree that the desensitization is partly to blame, Lee's death changed us all I guess.
  • dumpfmoebeldumpfmoebel
    I actually feel like my moral sense has strengthened a lot over the course of the episodes. I try my best not to be unnecessarily cruel in the games. But still - getting satisfaction from seeing a murderer who encouraged hitting children die is not the same as being a murderer who encourages hitting children.
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