This is so freaking horsecrap. And what if i really want to die? I? really do, i really want to. I never did anything selfish like that before, but what if one day, i just stumble in the way of car. What then? I'll die, and i'd be happy. And i don't think i'm part of this if i don't feel like i am. I never felt like i belong ANYWHERE. I never felt like i should LIVE. And i. Hate. It.
I told you that on Steam yesterday, and I'm going to say it again and again until it's the only thing you'll remember from us.
You are a … morepart of this, you always were, everyone here cares about you and you will leave a hole in us that no one else could fill if you leave us here.
This makes me even more sad. I've been fighting all my life, and i didn't do it for ME, i did it for THEM, and i know there will come a day when all of them will die and they'll leave me all on my own, the only assholes i've grown up with. And if i told them this, they'd mock me and say i'm doing it for attention or pity. I don't need their freaking pity. All i want is... A freaking family... And i hate them all so much for... For not knowing... For not UNDERSTANDING...
You really aren't. I know you aren't. I don't even live with you and I still know it. You couldn't possibly be a burden, Azlyn. Your family loves you, even if they're too stupid to show it. And if they won't, maybe we should. We love you.
Whatever. Everyone probably thinks i am an attention whore now, anyway. Whatever. I don't care. I don't care, okay? I don't care. Whatever you say, you just do it to be nice. I know so.
I don't think so, fo some reason, because I had those thoughts once as well, and I didn't have anything to hold me back yet, but I still didn't. There's so much more to life and I figured that those moments where I will look back on my life and feel satisfied will be worth all the shit we're going through.
I mean, I don't know you that much to tell you that, but I think you wouldn't do it, and I'm happy you didn't
But you DO FUCKING BELONG HERE AZLYN YOU DO we all dealt with shit in our lifes there has to be fucking reason we're here. We all at one point got kicked down a hole and now we gotta climb out and killing yourself ain't the damn answer.
This is so freaking horsecrap. And what if i really want to die? I? really do, i really want to. I never did anything selfish like that befo… morere, but what if one day, i just stumble in the way of car. What then? I'll die, and i'd be happy. And i don't think i'm part of this if i don't feel like i am. I never felt like i belong ANYWHERE. I never felt like i should LIVE. And i. Hate. It.
I honestly don't know why you feel you are not a part of this, I did everything to explain to you how much you mean to all of us yesterday, and now more people are saying the same thing I said to you, please realize you're not a burden on us.. You said this is the only place you feel happy in, but you never let yourself believe you're a part of this...
This is so freaking horsecrap. And what if i really want to die? I? really do, i really want to. I never did anything selfish like that befo… morere, but what if one day, i just stumble in the way of car. What then? I'll die, and i'd be happy. And i don't think i'm part of this if i don't feel like i am. I never felt like i belong ANYWHERE. I never felt like i should LIVE. And i. Hate. It.
You just can't think about that. You can't live for anyone else but yourself. YOU'RE the only person who should matter, YOU'RE the only one who can decide where YOUR life goes and where it doesn't. Your family doesn't hate you, they just don't know you. And you're way too good for them. I say you should live for you, because you're awesome and you're special, and there's only one Azlyn in this world, and she is a good friend and a good girl. I say don't give a shit what anyone else thinks, because they're obviously fucking stupid. Don't let anyone else decide for you what you do with your life. You're much stronger than they are anyway.
This makes me even more sad. I've been fighting all my life, and i didn't do it for ME, i did it for THEM, and i know there will come a day … morewhen all of them will die and they'll leave me all on my own, the only assholes i've grown up with. And if i told them this, they'd mock me and say i'm doing it for attention or pity. I don't need their freaking pity. All i want is... A freaking family... And i hate them all so much for... For not knowing... For not UNDERSTANDING...
But you DO FUCKING BELONG HERE AZLYN YOU DO we all dealt with shit in our lifes there has to be fucking reason we're here. We all at one point got kicked down a hole and now we gotta climb out and killing yourself ain't the damn answer.
Whatever. Everyone probably thinks i am an attention whore now, anyway. Whatever. I don't care. I don't care, okay? I don't care. Whatever you say, you just do it to be nice. I know so.
This still sounds wrong. I want to have something to LIVE for, something to keep me going, aside from them. I want to DO something, to CHANGE something, and it's so hard to keep going when all you get is guarantees that you won't make it...
You just can't think about that. You can't live for anyone else but yourself. YOU'RE the only person who should matter, YOU'RE the only one … morewho can decide where YOUR life goes and where it doesn't. Your family doesn't hate you, they just don't know you. And you're way too good for them. I say you should live for you, because you're awesome and you're special, and there's only one Azlyn in this world, and she is a good friend and a good girl. I say don't give a shit what anyone else thinks, because they're obviously fucking stupid. Don't let anyone else decide for you what you do with your life. You're much stronger than they are anyway.
I don't think so, fo some reason, because I had those thoughts once as well, and I didn't have anything to hold me back yet, but I still did… moren't. There's so much more to life and I figured that those moments where I will look back on my life and feel satisfied will be worth all the shit we're going through.
I mean, I don't know you that much to tell you that, but I think you wouldn't do it, and I'm happy you didn't
You just can't think about that. You can't live for anyone else but yourself. YOU'RE the only person who should matter, YOU'RE the only one … morewho can decide where YOUR life goes and where it doesn't. Your family doesn't hate you, they just don't know you. And you're way too good for them. I say you should live for you, because you're awesome and you're special, and there's only one Azlyn in this world, and she is a good friend and a good girl. I say don't give a shit what anyone else thinks, because they're obviously fucking stupid. Don't let anyone else decide for you what you do with your life. You're much stronger than they are anyway.
I'm supposed to be staying away from this site, bet exceptions are made.
Yeah, uh, I've never felt like part of this lounge "family" either, bt I don't let it get to me, because it's still a fun place. And do you have a single shred of evidence to back up the idea that you're a worthless burden? Because everything from MY experiences with you say otherwise.
We've been through this countless times before. You get suicidal and miserable, vent for a while, and then calm down. I don't mean to sound cruel, but deep down you know this won't last. In the mean time, spend time with your family, who care about you.
This is so freaking horsecrap. And what if i really want to die? I? really do, i really want to. I never did anything selfish like that befo… morere, but what if one day, i just stumble in the way of car. What then? I'll die, and i'd be happy. And i don't think i'm part of this if i don't feel like i am. I never felt like i belong ANYWHERE. I never felt like i should LIVE. And i. Hate. It.
Again, take someone away from this place right now, and the fun leaves with them. Take ME away, and it is still as awesome. Therefore, i mean NOTHING. Okay? Nothing.
I honestly don't know why you feel you are not a part of this, I did everything to explain to you how much you mean to all of us yesterday, … moreand now more people are saying the same thing I said to you, please realize you're not a burden on us.. You said this is the only place you feel happy in, but you never let yourself believe you're a part of this...
Don't rush yourself, Azlyn. We're all meant to do something great. Find something you enjoy, and do it. I love the people here, so I talk to them as often as I can. Which is all the time because I have no life, lol. I like drawing, so I draw. Go volunteer at an animal shelter. Go pick up litter in the park.
Just think of it this way: There are lots of people who are worse off than us. People who have no homes, no food, no family at all. Somehow they manage to survive. Somehow they manage to stay happy. I saw a vine the other day of a man with no legs and one arm, and he was the happiest dude I've ever seen in a long ass time. You know why? Because he has hope. He has hope that his life is worth more than just a pair of limbs. If you want to change something, do it. Do anything you can. It really isn't that hard. I believe in God, I believe that He has the answers for me, and only He decides what will happen to me. God gives me faith and hope. If you aren't religious, find something that gives you hope. Maybe it's us, maybe it's someone famous, maybe it's yourself. Anyone. I know you can do great things, Azlyn. I believe in you.
This still sounds wrong. I want to have something to LIVE for, something to keep me going, aside from them. I want to DO something, to CHANGE something, and it's so hard to keep going when all you get is guarantees that you won't make it...
This still sounds wrong. I want to have something to LIVE for, something to keep me going, aside from them. I want to DO something, to CHANGE something, and it's so hard to keep going when all you get is guarantees that you won't make it...
I don't. I can't do anything right. I am a screw up. I just want to write my books, to get better at drawing, to get better at playing the guitar, to learn better fencing, to... To just do EVERYTHING i can! But i can't. And i can't stay here much, either, after school begins. This year, i'll have to take on the admission exam. If i don't get in this highschool, i die. It's as simple as that. And i want to do what i previously listed. But i don't want to disappoint everyone i love. And i don't want to have lived for nothing, because this exam IS the thing that decides if i die or live. And i don't want to be hurt for nothing. But i want to stay here... With... You all...
Don't rush yourself, Azlyn. We're all meant to do something great. Find something you enjoy, and do it. I love the people here, so I talk to… more them as often as I can. Which is all the time because I have no life, lol. I like drawing, so I draw. Go volunteer at an animal shelter. Go pick up litter in the park.
Just think of it this way: There are lots of people who are worse off than us. People who have no homes, no food, no family at all. Somehow they manage to survive. Somehow they manage to stay happy. I saw a vine the other day of a man with no legs and one arm, and he was the happiest dude I've ever seen in a long ass time. You know why? Because he has hope. He has hope that his life is worth more than just a pair of limbs. If you want to change something, do it. Do anything you can. It really isn't that hard. I believe in God, I believe that He has the answers for me, and only He decides what will happen to me. God gives me faith and ho… [view original content]
I'm supposed to be staying away from this site, bet exceptions are made.
Yeah, uh, I've never felt like part of this lounge "family" eith… moreer, bt I don't let it get to me, because it's still a fun place. And do you have a single shred of evidence to back up the idea that you're a worthless burden? Because everything from MY experiences with you say otherwise.
We've been through this countless times before. You get suicidal and miserable, vent for a while, and then calm down. I don't mean to sound cruel, but deep down you know this won't last. In the mean time, spend time with your family, who care about you.
You don't live for the sake of your family, you live for the sake of yourself, do what you wanna do, if you want to write, don't dedicate your heart and soul to passing that test, they'll be disappointed, so what? If they love you, they'll accept you for doing what you love doing.
I don't. I can't do anything right. I am a screw up. I just want to write my books, to get better at drawing, to get better at playing the g… moreuitar, to learn better fencing, to... To just do EVERYTHING i can! But i can't. And i can't stay here much, either, after school begins. This year, i'll have to take on the admission exam. If i don't get in this highschool, i die. It's as simple as that. And i want to do what i previously listed. But i don't want to disappoint everyone i love. And i don't want to have lived for nothing, because this exam IS the thing that decides if i die or live. And i don't want to be hurt for nothing. But i want to stay here... With... You all...
you don't get to do that, to come into somebody's life, make them care and just check out - Dale
Dale's right. You can't just do that. It's not fair to you, or me, or any of us. You're so young, Az. You have so much time to be happy, so much time to change your life. This test isn't going to mean squat unless you're happy.
I don't. I can't do anything right. I am a screw up. I just want to write my books, to get better at drawing, to get better at playing the g… moreuitar, to learn better fencing, to... To just do EVERYTHING i can! But i can't. And i can't stay here much, either, after school begins. This year, i'll have to take on the admission exam. If i don't get in this highschool, i die. It's as simple as that. And i want to do what i previously listed. But i don't want to disappoint everyone i love. And i don't want to have lived for nothing, because this exam IS the thing that decides if i die or live. And i don't want to be hurt for nothing. But i want to stay here... With... You all...
Ok, here's what you need:
Someone to love.
Something to do.
Something to expect for in the future.
Just try and think bout them, what do you want to change? Do you love someone? What do you like to do?
you don't get to do that, to come into somebody's life, make them care and just check out - Dale
Dale's right. You can't just do tha… moret. It's not fair to you, or me, or any of us. You're so young, Az. You have so much time to be happy, so much time to change your life. This test isn't going to mean squat unless you're happy.
Comments
This is so freaking horsecrap. And what if i really want to die? I? really do, i really want to. I never did anything selfish like that before, but what if one day, i just stumble in the way of car. What then? I'll die, and i'd be happy. And i don't think i'm part of this if i don't feel like i am. I never felt like i belong ANYWHERE. I never felt like i should LIVE. And i. Hate. It.
This makes me even more sad. I've been fighting all my life, and i didn't do it for ME, i did it for THEM, and i know there will come a day when all of them will die and they'll leave me all on my own, the only assholes i've grown up with. And if i told them this, they'd mock me and say i'm doing it for attention or pity. I don't need their freaking pity. All i want is... A freaking family... And i hate them all so much for... For not knowing... For not UNDERSTANDING...
Whatever. Everyone probably thinks i am an attention whore now, anyway. Whatever. I don't care. I don't care, okay? I don't care. Whatever you say, you just do it to be nice. I know so.
I don't think so, fo some reason, because I had those thoughts once as well, and I didn't have anything to hold me back yet, but I still didn't. There's so much more to life and I figured that those moments where I will look back on my life and feel satisfied will be worth all the shit we're going through.
I mean, I don't know you that much to tell you that, but I think you wouldn't do it, and I'm happy you didn't
But you DO FUCKING BELONG HERE AZLYN YOU DO we all dealt with shit in our lifes there has to be fucking reason we're here. We all at one point got kicked down a hole and now we gotta climb out and killing yourself ain't the damn answer.
Freaking paint screwing up my drawings.
I honestly don't know why you feel you are not a part of this, I did everything to explain to you how much you mean to all of us yesterday, and now more people are saying the same thing I said to you, please realize you're not a burden on us.. You said this is the only place you feel happy in, but you never let yourself believe you're a part of this...
You just can't think about that. You can't live for anyone else but yourself. YOU'RE the only person who should matter, YOU'RE the only one who can decide where YOUR life goes and where it doesn't. Your family doesn't hate you, they just don't know you. And you're way too good for them. I say you should live for you, because you're awesome and you're special, and there's only one Azlyn in this world, and she is a good friend and a good girl. I say don't give a shit what anyone else thinks, because they're obviously fucking stupid. Don't let anyone else decide for you what you do with your life. You're much stronger than they are anyway.
Easy to say it.
You told me I'm not doing it to be nice yesterday...
This still sounds wrong. I want to have something to LIVE for, something to keep me going, aside from them. I want to DO something, to CHANGE something, and it's so hard to keep going when all you get is guarantees that you won't make it...
sigh
Just forget it. I'll be fine. I'll just edit the damn comment out and keep on going for the sake of thin air.
Meh, I'd probably fuck something up somehow and end up in the hospital for the rest of my life.
My luck, right? Lol.
You're right.
Azlyn, look at SnK, they say the same thing Rachelle just said:
You were born into this world like everyone else, you're not a burden, you're a living person.
Fuck it. Just drop it already.
My luck is shit, at least we can all be unlucky here, together.
I'm supposed to be staying away from this site, bet exceptions are made.
Yeah, uh, I've never felt like part of this lounge "family" either, bt I don't let it get to me, because it's still a fun place. And do you have a single shred of evidence to back up the idea that you're a worthless burden? Because everything from MY experiences with you say otherwise.
We've been through this countless times before. You get suicidal and miserable, vent for a while, and then calm down. I don't mean to sound cruel, but deep down you know this won't last. In the mean time, spend time with your family, who care about you.
Live.. Please, live..
Again, take someone away from this place right now, and the fun leaves with them. Take ME away, and it is still as awesome. Therefore, i mean NOTHING. Okay? Nothing.
Don't rush yourself, Azlyn. We're all meant to do something great. Find something you enjoy, and do it. I love the people here, so I talk to them as often as I can. Which is all the time because I have no life, lol. I like drawing, so I draw. Go volunteer at an animal shelter. Go pick up litter in the park.
Just think of it this way: There are lots of people who are worse off than us. People who have no homes, no food, no family at all. Somehow they manage to survive. Somehow they manage to stay happy. I saw a vine the other day of a man with no legs and one arm, and he was the happiest dude I've ever seen in a long ass time. You know why? Because he has hope. He has hope that his life is worth more than just a pair of limbs. If you want to change something, do it. Do anything you can. It really isn't that hard. I believe in God, I believe that He has the answers for me, and only He decides what will happen to me. God gives me faith and hope. If you aren't religious, find something that gives you hope. Maybe it's us, maybe it's someone famous, maybe it's yourself. Anyone. I know you can do great things, Azlyn. I believe in you.
If i keep coming here after the June of 2015 ends, then you'll know that i'm alive. If not, well, it's been nice knowing you. I mean it.
Ok, here's what you need:
Someone to love.
Something to do.
Something to expect for in the future.
Just try and think bout them, what do you want to change? Do you love someone? What do you like to do?
No, you said it, you talked to me all night yesterday, I'm not gonna let you think you're a waste of oxygen.
No. I'm not going to let this slide. You feel like shit, and now I feel like shit, and I'm pissed that we both feel like shit.
You're a smart girl, I'm sure you'll pass.
I don't. I can't do anything right. I am a screw up. I just want to write my books, to get better at drawing, to get better at playing the guitar, to learn better fencing, to... To just do EVERYTHING i can! But i can't. And i can't stay here much, either, after school begins. This year, i'll have to take on the admission exam. If i don't get in this highschool, i die. It's as simple as that. And i want to do what i previously listed. But i don't want to disappoint everyone i love. And i don't want to have lived for nothing, because this exam IS the thing that decides if i die or live. And i don't want to be hurt for nothing. But i want to stay here... With... You all...
What? it spoiled something? OH SHIT YEAH I'M SORRY ;-;
If they cared, they wouldn't do what they do... I know what they do... I think you're familiar with it as well.
But i meant it.
Lovely. Now i destroyed someone else's day.
You don't live for the sake of your family, you live for the sake of yourself, do what you wanna do, if you want to write, don't dedicate your heart and soul to passing that test, they'll be disappointed, so what? If they love you, they'll accept you for doing what you love doing.
I like how you censored my name. It feels like just saying it is swearing. x3
Dale's right. You can't just do that. It's not fair to you, or me, or any of us. You're so young, Az. You have so much time to be happy, so much time to change your life. This test isn't going to mean squat unless you're happy.
Don't worry about us, she only says that because she's worried about you, just like I am, you didn't destroy anything.
I feel like this is a visit to the psychiatrist.
I want to change all that i can.
In what way, "love"?
Write, read, draw, play the guitar, fence, study, debate... Yada yada yada.
If only it were that simple.
You're saying I don't care? You're saying Rachelle doesn't care?
Keep saying that, it's a lie.
Time will tell.
I'm really freaking emotional today too. Everything's making me feel.
I'm also empathetic to like the 25th extreme.
Holy shit Rachelle, I said that quote to her yesterday... The fuck...? xD