The communitys help please?

edited September 2014 in The Walking Dead

If you feel like this is to much to read just post this in the comments:
TBH I dont even now if this is the right place to ask. :)

Hi! My name is Christopher! Since TWD S.1 I've been getting more and more into interactive stroies. I loved writing stories before but now I want to write a real script for a game and I need the community's help:
It's about two brothers. One is around 27-29 (this is the main character), and the younger one is around 19-22. The main character is a criminal (he robbed a bank) and the younger one doesn't know that.

Characters I have so far:

  • Older Brother: No name yet, 27-30 years old (Something like that), former bank robber (or something that made him get a lot of cash)

  • Younger brother: No name yet, 19-22 years old (-11-), innocent guy, has a lot of humour

  • Emily: Show up later sometime: 19-22 years old (-11-), went to school with the younger brother, huge crush on him since school but never told him, she is kind of a "stalker".

  • Corrupt cop: The bad guy I guess.

The story starts with the two brothers going to a casino to spend the cash that the main character has. They go there, have a good time and all but then the main character's past catches up with him. Something is going to go down at this casiono, but what I don't know.

The ending is also sorta planned out:
The younger brother dies dududu. He is killed brutally by the corrupt cop.

I have these part a little more detailed in my head but I would like your help:

  • What is going to happen at the casino?
  • Come up with more character with a back stroy.
  • Leave difficult choices that can happen in the story. And also: what can happen after the opening, in the middle and before the end. Anything that can happen between the opening and the end.
  • How can the story lead up to the end
    etc. etc

Feel free to say anything. I'm open to all suggestions.

Thank you so much for taking your your time to help me with this!

«1

Comments

  • I have some ideas, but I'm too tired and lazy to write a big post, sorry :/

    Anyone?

  • I would write something, but I'm sick (IRL) and tired, so sadly I won't.

    Anyone?

  • The older brother meets one of his accomplices, who was caught and served time instead of everyone else, which happened to be a pretty long time. They accidentally meet inside the casino, where the accomplice confronts him about it right in front of his younger brother. Eventually, they start fighting and all three are thrown out. The brother (or the accomplice) is itching to continue on with the fight, but the casino's bouncer threatens them to stop or he'll "use force". Not willing to get into more trouble with the law, the older brother leaves along with his younger brother. The younger brother angrily demands an explanation about what happened at the casino...

    There, that's an idea for you. Feel free to do whatever you want with it.

  • Thank you so much for your idea. It means a lot! I'll see if I can include it in some way! :D

    Lingvort posted: »

    The older brother meets one of his accomplices, who was caught and served time instead of everyone else, which happened to be a pretty long

  • How about this Emily girl, lost her father or something and the younger brother reminds her of him. that's why she is obsessed with him. Idk i'm just spewing ideas.

  • I like that idea. Thanks! I think that would be a good backstory for her! :)

    -XYAB- posted: »

    How about this Emily girl, lost her father or something and the younger brother reminds her of him. that's why she is obsessed with him. Idk i'm just spewing ideas.

  • Well... When you fell better feel free to write your ideas. :)

    I have some ideas, but I'm too tired and lazy to write a big post, sorry

  • You could have the corrupt cop secretly be apart of a mob or criminal organization and the Older brother is taken by the accomplice who is apart of the mob too. The younger brother goes to save him but gets killed in the process and the older brother kills the accomplice then it heads into the final chase or something. Maybe you can include Emily as someone who saves the older brother after watching the younger get killed while she was stalking. If you want a happy ending you could have Emily save the younger brother by taking him to the hospital after the older bro thinks hes dead. Just some ideas, good luck.

  • edited September 2014

    Wow! Great idea! You seem to have given it more thought than me haha! Anyway: great idea! :)

    You could have the corrupt cop secretly be apart of a mob or criminal organization and the Older brother is taken by the accomplice who is a

  • Hmm, I'm not that sure. But I could help with some names?

    Parker, Finn, Harper, Daniel, Christopher (Chris), Jackson, Adonis, Nicholas, Darren and William?

    Just some thoughts.

  • Thanks! It's difficult for me to come up with names for characters. Hopefully I can use some of these names and come up with a backstory for them. Thanks for your input! :)

    Hmm, I'm not that sure. But I could help with some names? Parker, Finn, Harper, Daniel, Christopher (Chris), Jackson, Adonis, Nicholas, Darren and William? Just some thoughts.

  • Make the brother into a complete psychopath and make sure he mourns for his brother and flips on the people around him while he is near his brothers dead body. (Kind of Like Kenny)

  • edited September 2014

    In The Casino, the group meets a girl named Sal, she's a gambler and she was drunk when the apocalypse happened, the group find her locked up in a room. Also, you could make it that Walkers start to break in after looking around The Casino.

    The story's beginning is quite crucial. When will you start your story? If you start it before the apocalypse, then we can know allot more about each main character. If you start it during the apocalypse, we are instantly put into a moment of tension where we are somewhat forced to be the character. If you start after the apocalypse, you can retell their stories via flashback, dream sequence or any other method such as talking about the character's own past to other members of the group.

    The middle of the story should have something big happen, probably the first appearance of the main antagonist?

    In the end you could either have them cure the virus, which leaves a possible sequel where they dispose of corpses and cure victims, or they are still living in the apocalypse and their story can continue in a sequel, or even leave their fates a mystery, or at least most of their fates?

    I think you should have a choice at the beginning that seems small and doesn't seem like it would affect the story greatly until the end.

  • Not to poo-poo ideas or anything, but I don't think he meant to set it in the ZA.

    prink34320 posted: »

    In The Casino, the group meets a girl named Sal, she's a gambler and she was drunk when the apocalypse happened, the group find her locked u

  • The I have to make a season 2 haha

    Make the brother into a complete psychopath and make sure he mourns for his brother and flips on the people around him while he is near his brothers dead body. (Kind of Like Kenny)

  • Not really XD im just good at making story outlines, if you want more of these ideas PM me.

    Wow! Great idea! You seem to have given it more thought than me haha! Anyway: great idea!

  • I didnt plan to have the story in the zombie apocalypse. Tbh I havent even given it any thought but now that you mention it, it sound pretty interesting! Thanks for your suggestion! :D

    prink34320 posted: »

    In The Casino, the group meets a girl named Sal, she's a gambler and she was drunk when the apocalypse happened, the group find her locked u

  • I does sound like a cool idea though!

    Mothoth posted: »

    Not to poo-poo ideas or anything, but I don't think he meant to set it in the ZA.

  • Oh, I thought you were planning on making a story in the Zombie Apocalypse since you posted on The Walking Dead Thread. But glad to know you think it's an interesting suggestion! :3

    I didnt plan to have the story in the zombie apocalypse. Tbh I havent even given it any thought but now that you mention it, it sound pretty interesting! Thanks for your suggestion!

  • Yeah! It sounds awesome maybe I'll write two versions. The one that I planned and a zombie apocalypse version.

    prink34320 posted: »

    Oh, I thought you were planning on making a story in the Zombie Apocalypse since you posted on The Walking Dead Thread. But glad to know you think it's an interesting suggestion!

  • Are you really making this into a game? I got a character that i roleplay that would fit perfectly.

  • I'm going to write the script and send it to some company that will hopefully take a look at it. Whose that character?

    Are you really making this into a game? I got a character that i roleplay that would fit perfectly.

  • edited September 2014

    1- He is recognized by one of his old crime partners,he's in debt with a mob boss and asks the big brother to help him pull one last heist

    2- Young robber- An unexperienced young bank robber who is hired by the big brother to pull the heist. he's very loyal and they become good friends.He's trying to get money for his sick mom.

    3- In the heist something goes wrong and you have to decide which of your crew members to save.Also the younger brother 's death could be a determinant.

    4- The corrupt cop kidnaps the young brother with the help of a rival mob (who were the owners of the place you robbed), to make a trap for the older brother and that way catch the great bank robber and increase his reputation to be ascended to commisioner.

    Good Luck

  • Woah! Thanks a alot! This is a awesome idea! I really like that! I'll see if I can make it happen! :)

    ps3gamer095 posted: »

    1- He is recognized by one of his old crime partners,he's in debt with a mob boss and asks the big brother to help him pull one last heist

  • Well... Im saying the same thing as I said to the previous one. When you feel better you're more than welcome to write your ideas! :)

    I would write something, but I'm sick (IRL) and tired, so sadly I won't.

  • If I get stuck somewhere in the writing I will most likely PM you!

    Not really XD im just good at making story outlines, if you want more of these ideas PM me.

  • It's an mexican gangster who deals drugs and guns, i got a whole backstory but i gotta find it tough

    I'm going to write the script and send it to some company that will hopefully take a look at it. Whose that character?

  • Great! I'd like to hear! No rush though. :)

    It's an mexican gangster who deals drugs and guns, i got a whole backstory but i gotta find it tough

  • Well, I'm still sick and tired... So I'll just give you some names...

    Older Brother: Derek

    Younger Brother: Dew

    Corrupt Cop: Lloyd

  • This is his story i use on the RP server
    Juan Nieves was born in Mexico, El Paso. He had a rough but okay childhood. Since he was little he was into guns, his dad took him hunting sometimes and he really likes the idea of shooting. He wasn't too rich but he had familly who worked in Las Ventures. Ceaser was a hotdog man in Las Venturas and he constantly send money home to make them live better. Later Ceaser was found dead in the waters of Rockshore West and Juan wanted revenge. He went to Las Venturas with the last money Ceaser send and he bought a car and some other equipment. It all didnt work out but Juan saw 1 thing: Las Venturas was full of crime. He made a friend called Jefrey Reid, and they shared the passion of guns. Later Jefrey joined an gang called Fort Carson Gun Runners, and he was able to get Juan in too. Juan is now head of materials, making sure the materials are on time, make sure the materials are safe. He works together with Eddie Reid, his material partner.

    Great! I'd like to hear! No rush though.

  • Damn... That's a deep story man! Maybe I can make him into a character in my story if its okay with you?

    This is his story i use on the RP server Juan Nieves was born in Mexico, El Paso. He had a rough but okay childhood. Since he was little he

  • No problem i'm looking foward to read your story.

    Woah! Thanks a alot! This is a awesome idea! I really like that! I'll see if I can make it happen!

  • I hope it will end up in something good! The sad part is that it will take a while to write it but it will hopefully be worth it!

    ps3gamer095 posted: »

    No problem i'm looking foward to read your story.

  • Yeah, sure i would love it :-) Juan is really devoloped character who has his flaws and all, i really like him.

    Damn... That's a deep story man! Maybe I can make him into a character in my story if its okay with you?

  • Thanks man! Gonna try to find a suitable role for him!

    Yeah, sure i would love it :-) Juan is really devoloped character who has his flaws and all, i really like him.

  • Yeah, if you need like a few lines i can PM you some SS of what all he does

    Thanks man! Gonna try to find a suitable role for him!

  • You can PM me now if you want. What does he look like and how does he act? Oh, and give me some of those lines. :)

    Yeah, if you need like a few lines i can PM you some SS of what all he does

  • Woops sorry for the late reply, ill PM ya.

    You can PM me now if you want. What does he look like and how does he act? Oh, and give me some of those lines.

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