Well, so far his interactions with the female members of the group hadn't been that successful. You might say, he hit on Josie that one time, but unfortunately she hit back.
Though the possibilities for Jerry the womanizer aren't so great considering the encountered women are either taken (Maria), taken and lesbian (Atlanta and Ashley), kidnapped and tortured as well as probably hating him (Josie), kidnapped and tortured and underage (Lindsay), probably a traitor who killed Dean (Jordan) or irredeemably evil (Clarice).
Ashley and Atlanta
Never noticed this at all. I need a page number to go back and observe this.
I remembered Christian and Maria … morenow too though.
And as he said more romance, I gave Jerry an explicit quality of being a womanizer and that has not been shown. Plz I need to see it.
lolololololol
Well, so far his interactions with the female members of the group hadn't been that successful. You might say, he hit on Josie that one time… more, but unfortunately she hit back.
Though the possibilities for Jerry the womanizer aren't so great considering the encountered women are either taken (Maria), taken and lesbian (Atlanta and Ashley), kidnapped and tortured as well as probably hating him (Josie), kidnapped and tortured and underage (Lindsay), probably a traitor who killed Dean (Jordan) or irredeemably evil (Clarice).
Ashley and Atlanta uhhhh one of them talked about it to Jordan or Christian towards the beginning of Chapter 4.. I can't remember quite well, perhaps I need to read up myself.
Ashley and Atlanta
Never noticed this at all. I need a page number to go back and observe this.
I remembered Christian and Maria … morenow too though.
And as he said more romance, I gave Jerry an explicit quality of being a womanizer and that has not been shown. Plz I need to see it.
lolololololol
Ashley and Atlanta uhhhh one of them talked about it to Jordan or Christian towards the beginning of Chapter 4.. I can't remember quite well, perhaps I need to read up myself.
The count is up to three, that's truly amazing. By like 2016 the time travelers will outnumber everyone else. The forums will be sent into complete chaos.
I'll be working on this part all day, hopefully it'll be done by today, but I procrastinate a little so...Anyway...This will be the final part in chapter 5 "Nine O'clock Lab" and the final part in the first of many episodes. Also with the added bonus of a epilogue!
Episode 1: The Gateway Dream - Chapter 5: Nine O’clock Lab - Part 5: Final.
“What the fuck?” Zafir called out to Jerry with a baffled look in the eye. “Why the fuck did…” He paused and took a step closer to Jerry and the escaping group with his hand still placed in the air, ready to give the order to shoot to his surrounding guards.
“Why the fuck?!” Jerry hissed as his grip on the pistol shook. “You’re a monster,” Jerry muttered through gritted teeth.
“I’m-- I’m the monster?” Zafir hissed back with a resentful glare. “We’re all monster of our own making at this point.”
“Don’t try to sugar coat it!” Jerry shouted back as his grip tightened around the trigger. “You’re the only monster here!” Jerry’s mind went back to all the times they were beaten by the dead, all to end with his pistol pointed at the living. But there were reason for this man’s death, he deserved it for all the things he’s done. “I could list the reason on one hand!”
“Then please, do so,” Zafir’s tone sounded tired as he took a another small step forward, almost unnoticed by Jerry. “You think we’re the bad guys?” He added, “is that it?”
“I don’t think, I know!” Jerry reinforced his arm as Zafir grabbed the pistol and simply pulled it out of his hand. All the hope in Jerry’s expression flitted away in seconds. The table had turned on Jerry and he was now at the end of the barrel.
“I don’t take treason well, no one really does…” His attention turned to the others, Jordan and Christian in particular. “Christian...I can understand, but Jordan? I would’ve thought better of you.”
Everyone, expect Jerry and Zafir, remained silent. “Fuck you. You murderous, raping, piece of shit, prick!” Jerry shouted back, as it was all he could do with the impending doom placed on his forehead in the form of a pistol.
“What did you say?!” Zafir hissed back with anger brewing in his eyes. “What have I done to you, other then take you here by force? Seriously, what? I kidnapped you, I understand the resentment from that...But you act like I’ve done something else. something I’m unaware of.”
“Don’t act like you didn’t! You fuckin’ killed them! You fucked them! You hurt them!” Jerry tried to take a step forward but the gun Zafir had taken from Jerry was placed between his eyes.
Zafir’s expression seemed to soften, “I’ve done no such thing,” he answered with the angry look returning. “I would never! You want to know I’ve been through? I doubt you even care, but I’ve been through a lot. My wife and daughter were raped and killed on the first day. I found the bandits that did it...I ripped their teeth out, one by one, tortured them ‘til they were begging for death...and then I didn’t give it to them. I killed them through other means, I broke their minds, I made them into shadows.” Zafir looked at the group that consisted of Jerry, Ashley, Atlanta, Daniel, Jordan and Christian, but his vision landed on Daniel. “My son...resents me for it. My daughter...wasn’t much older then that boy right there. I’m sure he’s been through more they he should at that age...but do you know what it does to people? Truly? Your boy’s broken, I tell by the look in his eye. You’re broken too, Jerry Stewart…”
“I don’t give a shit about your backstory. What I want to know is where my friends are!” Jerry stated after his long paused.
“I’m not saying I don’t believe you. I’m saying I had nothing to do with it, and that if I found out, even if they weren’t my family, I would kill the people who commit such crimes, I would cut off their fingers, their tongue, maybe, pulled out their fingernails before hand, cut off their dick and force it down their throat.” Zafir raised his hand in the air again and made a motion, the guards around him hesitantly lowed their weapons. “You’re all free to go.” He muttered as he tossed the gun to the ground and Jerry bent his knees to grabbed it, slowly rising back up.
“Not until I find my group--” Jerry spoke up, still a little surprised by the revelation.
“Then you tell me, are they here?” Zafir questioned as he faced one of the guards and grabbed a set of keys from them.
“No. They were here, but now they’re gone.” Jerry answered, knowing all-too-well that they were gone.
“Then...Take these keys, they’re to the truck packed with all the supplies taken from your community. I don’t take too kindly to treason within my group, but you seem like you’ve been confused all this time as to who your enemies are...I take it that you killed those two people by the lake? Were they guilty?” Zafir asked, his tone underlining with a subtle rage.
“Does it matter? They’re dead now, but they were murderers, rapers…” Jerry hissed angrily.
“You killed your only chance at find the other people involved. I take more were involved?” Zafir questioned as he stepped to the front doors and gestured for the guards to hold the doors open. “With them dead there’s no way to find any others.”
“Others were involved...But I haven’t found them, yet.” Jerry groaned, “you better take of them.”
The doors began to close and Jerry and his group stepped through them and found themselves in the parking lot of the mall. “I’ll find them in time and deal with them, but you don't show your face around ever again.” And on that note the doors closed and the people inside stood and watched as Jerry climbed in the truck and started it. Christian, Jordan, Ashley, and Daniel set in the back end while Atlanta climbed in front. The group in the pickup bed was careful to avoid the supplies piled in it.
It was dark out, sometime around one o’clock in the night. They pulled through the gate as it opened for them. Out of the corner of his eye and the corner of the rearview mirror, Jerry spotted Clarice running towards Zafir after finally finding him with a panic look on her face.
There was so much to think about, so many things Jerry had forgotten already. Zafir, he said Dan was broken, he could somehow see it in his eye. Jerry knew of what happened to Daniel’s family on the first day of the outbreak. He wasn’t kept in the dark entirely. Anthony had told him after Dean had told Anthony. But they were dead. Both lifeless corpses rotting a hole Jerry had dug, right next to Stan. The times had changed so fast, Jerry had been lost the first couple of days. But Anthony’s death shook him deeply. His dying wish was to have Jerry look after the group, he couldn’t help but think he only choose him due to the lack of other options at the time. But he himself, he was breaking, or already broken, mentally. How could he save himself while still trying to save a group of people that seemed to grow.
Jordan looked at her hands with red, sensitive eyes.
Christian looked back the whole ride as he thought of how quickly he abandoned his girlfriend, Maria. But Zafir’s words help clear his mind of one worry; that she wasn’t being tortured. Maria was safe, but out of reach.
Atlanta kept her eyes on the road, away from the group in the pickup bed, but every now and then looking back to make sure they were okay.
Ashley held Daniel’s hand, the boy never letting go as he stared almost blankly at the retreating road. He was lost in many ways.
They arrived soon enough at the front gate of their old daydream fort. It bleck, devoid of life, so much was lost here. From the first fight that broke out between Jerry and Anthony, to the final days of the community as Jerry pulled his enemy from the dead. The picture still haunted Jerry, of Anthony crawling towards him while making ungodly noises. It was all too clear in Jerry’s mind, but it was hard to forget, or remember Anthony as anything but that monster.
There was a long noise as the truck rolled over the knocked down gate and into the community.
The dead body of Anthony rested in the grave along with Stan and Dean. The darkened skies above sent chills down several of the groups’ spines, it was a sad sight for the remaining members.
But sadness had it’s way long enough… A light shined from inside one of the house, just has the headlights of the truck shined upon the house itself. It was the Harper’s house. Illuminated by the cold light of the truck, the house door swung open and a figure stepped out, holding their hand over their face to shield himself from the harsh light. It was a man, no a boy. He had dark hair, maybe brown. But it was clear he held a assault rifle on his side.
“Hello?” The boy called into the headlights as he struggled to see through them. Jerry flipped a switch and the lights died down just enough to see the boy’s face. He was somewhat short and had dark brown hair, he was young, probably in his teenage years.
Jerry gripped Anthony’s pistol tightly as he notice the boy reaching repositioning his assault rifle. “Don’t shoot!” Ashley quickly called to the young boy and he hesitated.
“I won’t shoot, but you can’t shoot either.” He answered as he let his rifle rest against the porch. “Who are you?” He asked through the softer light as he began to notice how many people there were for the first time. This was met by a shock look, almost one of fear.
“My name is Jerry Stewart…” he answered as he walked closer to the porch and the boy, “and this is my neighborhood.” The boy get a good look at Jerry, his broken nose, many cuts and bruises and blood stained shirt. It made a clear impression on the boy and he took a step back. “I don’t want to kill you, but--” Jerry started, but couldn't finish when a loud voice echoed from inside the house. “Keith...What’s--”
“Jerry?!” It was female, suddenly two other figures step out of the house and stood near the boy. It was Josephine and Lindsay. Josie being the one who called out.
Jerry’s expression lighted beyond measurement. He took several steps forward and then broke into a run. Within seconds he was giving Josie and Lindsay a big hug, much to their surprise. The boy stood back with a dumbfounded expression as he watched Jerry let go of the duo. He could make out bruises of their arms and face, but they were alive.
“Um…” Lindsay mumbled awkwardly.
“I found you. I’ve finally found you.” Jerry smiled as he looked back at the rest of the group, but soon remembered the dead members and his face hardened, “there’s a lot we need to talk about.”
End of “The Gateway Dream.”
(I forgot the song, but please disregard the second song in the video)
Episode 1: The Gateway Dream - Chapter 5: Nine O’clock Lab - Part 5: Final.
“What the fuck?” Zafir called out to Jerry with a baffled loo… morek in the eye. “Why the fuck did…” He paused and took a step closer to Jerry and the escaping group with his hand still placed in the air, ready to give the order to shoot to his surrounding guards.
“Why the fuck?!” Jerry hissed as his grip on the pistol shook. “You’re a monster,” Jerry muttered through gritted teeth.
“I’m-- I’m the monster?” Zafir hissed back with a resentful glare. “We’re all monster of our own making at this point.”
“Don’t try to sugar coat it!” Jerry shouted back as his grip tightened around the trigger. “You’re the only monster here!” Jerry’s mind went back to all the times they were beaten by the dead, all to end with his pistol pointed at the living. But there were reason for this man’s death, he deserved it for all the things he’s done. “I could list the reason on one hand… [view original content]
Episode 1: The Gateway Dream - Chapter 5: Nine O’clock Lab - Part 5: Final.
“What the fuck?” Zafir called out to Jerry with a baffled loo… morek in the eye. “Why the fuck did…” He paused and took a step closer to Jerry and the escaping group with his hand still placed in the air, ready to give the order to shoot to his surrounding guards.
“Why the fuck?!” Jerry hissed as his grip on the pistol shook. “You’re a monster,” Jerry muttered through gritted teeth.
“I’m-- I’m the monster?” Zafir hissed back with a resentful glare. “We’re all monster of our own making at this point.”
“Don’t try to sugar coat it!” Jerry shouted back as his grip tightened around the trigger. “You’re the only monster here!” Jerry’s mind went back to all the times they were beaten by the dead, all to end with his pistol pointed at the living. But there were reason for this man’s death, he deserved it for all the things he’s done. “I could list the reason on one hand… [view original content]
Episode 1: The Gateway Dream - Chapter 5: Nine O’clock Lab - Part 5: Final.
“What the fuck?” Zafir called out to Jerry with a baffled loo… morek in the eye. “Why the fuck did…” He paused and took a step closer to Jerry and the escaping group with his hand still placed in the air, ready to give the order to shoot to his surrounding guards.
“Why the fuck?!” Jerry hissed as his grip on the pistol shook. “You’re a monster,” Jerry muttered through gritted teeth.
“I’m-- I’m the monster?” Zafir hissed back with a resentful glare. “We’re all monster of our own making at this point.”
“Don’t try to sugar coat it!” Jerry shouted back as his grip tightened around the trigger. “You’re the only monster here!” Jerry’s mind went back to all the times they were beaten by the dead, all to end with his pistol pointed at the living. But there were reason for this man’s death, he deserved it for all the things he’s done. “I could list the reason on one hand… [view original content]
Okay, I've done it, I've revealed the fate of Josie and Lindsay at long last! But I have plenty of questions to ask you. So please answer s… moreome of them
Who was your favorite character?
Who was your least favorite character?
Who was your most hated character?
What did you think about the final?
What would you change about the final and/or episode 1?
Who do you want to die next?
Who to you think might die next?
What do you want to see/happen in the next episode?
What's your opinion on Zafir now?
What did you think of Josie and Lindsay's return?
What do you think will happen next?
How will the meth group react to having their mall burnt down?
Themes you would like to see?
Events you would like to see?
What are your overall thoughts on the writing?
Okay, I've done it, I've revealed the fate of Josie and Lindsay at long last! But I have plenty of questions to ask you. So please answer s… moreome of them
Who was your favorite character?
Who was your least favorite character?
Who was your most hated character?
What did you think about the final?
What would you change about the final and/or episode 1?
Who do you want to die next?
Who to you think might die next?
What do you want to see/happen in the next episode?
What's your opinion on Zafir now?
What did you think of Josie and Lindsay's return?
What do you think will happen next?
How will the meth group react to having their mall burnt down?
Themes you would like to see?
Events you would like to see?
What are your overall thoughts on the writing?
What in the... what... what... what in the... what... how... why... who... what...
Liquid.exe has encountered a problem and needs to close
Rebooting Liquid.exe
What... what... what....
WHAT IN THE.... HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?
Ahem...
After just staring at my screen for literally a few minutes, trying to process what just happened, I am now able to write in full sentences again. And... no, wait, I am still not able to write in full sentences, except... maybe... let me try...
How is that possible? Josie and Lindsay have been in that room and there was blood and now they are alive and fine? And everyone in Zafir's group is an evil rapist torturer, why haven't they been raped and tortured? And who helped them escape? And why did Zafir just let the group go instead of butchering them? He is evil! He is a monster! Why wasn't he involved in all of this? How can he dare having positive character traits after all that happened? And what exactly happened to Josie and Lindsay? They couldn't just escape on their own, right? And is that guy with them the same guy I wanted to send back to his father, piece by piece? And... and all these hints towards my worst fears... what exactly did just happen?
But perhaps the biggest plot twist of them all:
I ripped their teeth out, one by one, tortured them ‘til they were begging for death...and then I didn’t give it to them. I killed them through other means, I broke their minds, I made them into shadows
I would cut off their fingers, their tongue, maybe, pulled out their fingernails before hand, cut off their dick and force it down their throat.
So, you're telling me I have been Zafir all along? Because that is oddly reminding me of everything I ever said about that... that... monster? But... how...? What exactly is he, if he isn't some sort of sick rapist torturer son of a pig?
Okay... after this I can only say that I am in an odd state of complete bliss and utter shock... I mean, obviously I am the most happy Liquid ever because I got Josie back, apparently physically and mentally in one piece... but why aren't the mall people complete monsters? They kidnapped them and they have been responsible for all of this... why... gosh, I am far too happy to speculate about these things right now...
Episode 1: The Gateway Dream - Chapter 5: Nine O’clock Lab - Part 5: Final.
“What the fuck?” Zafir called out to Jerry with a baffled loo… morek in the eye. “Why the fuck did…” He paused and took a step closer to Jerry and the escaping group with his hand still placed in the air, ready to give the order to shoot to his surrounding guards.
“Why the fuck?!” Jerry hissed as his grip on the pistol shook. “You’re a monster,” Jerry muttered through gritted teeth.
“I’m-- I’m the monster?” Zafir hissed back with a resentful glare. “We’re all monster of our own making at this point.”
“Don’t try to sugar coat it!” Jerry shouted back as his grip tightened around the trigger. “You’re the only monster here!” Jerry’s mind went back to all the times they were beaten by the dead, all to end with his pistol pointed at the living. But there were reason for this man’s death, he deserved it for all the things he’s done. “I could list the reason on one hand… [view original content]
What... what... what... oh... questions... I like to answer questions...
Who was your favorite character?
Not writing Jerry in here would be a crime against humanity. He came a long, long way from the son of a Zafir he was in the first two and a half episodes. However, seeing the extreme amount of emotion her capture, implied horrible offscreen torture and final reappearance just caused, I have to name Josie as well. Anything else would be hypocritical. So, it's Jerry and Josie, even though the latter had barely any screentime compared to the former
Who was your least favorite character?
Now... Zafir? I don't know. I'm still shocked about him. He was supposed to be the one I could hate! Why is he a human being? How can he dare being a human being? How can he dare making it hard for me to choose my least favourite? Because it isn't Zafir anymore... I don't even know how to feel about him. Do I want to see him dead, do I want to see him tortured, do I want to see him redeeming himself, has he redeemed himself... So, perhaps my least favourite character is anyone involved in the abduction of Josie. I have no names here, but they are exactly how I thought Zafir was...
Who was your most hated character?
With emphasis on was: Zafir, easily. The sheer amount of hatred I had for him would have been enough to hate a whole continent. I actually hated his son by proxy simply because I couldn't centre all my hatred on Zafir... But I don't know if he is my most hated character anymore.
What did you think about the final?
What... How... Finale... Got my Josie back... Happy Liquid is happy... but shocked Liquid is shocked...
What would you change about the final and/or episode 1?
Nah... nah... nothing... god I loose my ability to write in full sentences again... Episode 1 put me through such a severe emotional trauma that the only thing I would change would be far more Josie, simply so that I don't run into the danger of having a seizure again...
Who do you want to die next?
Mall group? I think it's still safe to say I hate them, but... so much less...
Who to you think might die next?
Maybe... I have no idea. Hopefully not Josie. After all that happened to get her back to the group I don't think I would be able to stand loosing her again, this time permanently. Maybe Ashley? Just a guess, I have no idea
What do you want to see/happen in the next episode?
Josie just being safe, doing her Josie stuff, me knowing exactly what she is doing. I could not think of anything else I want to see more.
What's your opinion on Zafir now?
Don't get me wrong, he is still an asshole. But... an asshole that has rudimentary human traits... still, I don't know if I would shoot him in the head quickly or if I would shoot him in the dick and leave him to bleed out...
What did you think of Josie and Lindsay's return?
Wha... wh... Josie back... so happy... no words for that... so happy... want Josie focus... want to speak in full sentences again...
What do you think will happen next?
No idea. Maybe things. Hopefully Josie things, but positive Josie things. I can't even try not to put all my focus right now on her, since she had been gone for so long and I am just too happy to see her back.
How will the meth group react to having their mall burnt down?
Not well. No, not at all. They will probably plan their attack on Harvest Hills. But... Josie is in Harvest Hills! Not good! No! Not good!
Themes you would like to see?
Hope, Peace, Joy, everything is happy around Josie... that will likely not happen, but forgive me if I care like a helicopter parent around her right now.
Events you would like to see?
Josie related events. Lindsay related events. They had been gone for so long, they need some focus. Last episode had been around 70% Jerry, with maybe 10-15% Atlanta, 10% Anthony and the last 5% other people. I know Jerry is a main character and I love him, but the other group members need their time to shine.
What are your overall thoughts on the writing?
How dare you making me anxious like this? And I mean that more positive than it sounds! This is... I have no words for how much I love this story and usually I have words for everything. But this is just... the way you managed to play me like a fiddle, making me nearly madly worried before... No, I have no words, except 'I love this story it might even be my favourite on this forum'
Okay, I've done it, I've revealed the fate of Josie and Lindsay at long last! But I have plenty of questions to ask you. So please answer s… moreome of them
Who was your favorite character?
Who was your least favorite character?
Who was your most hated character?
What did you think about the final?
What would you change about the final and/or episode 1?
Who do you want to die next?
Who to you think might die next?
What do you want to see/happen in the next episode?
What's your opinion on Zafir now?
What did you think of Josie and Lindsay's return?
What do you think will happen next?
How will the meth group react to having their mall burnt down?
Themes you would like to see?
Events you would like to see?
What are your overall thoughts on the writing?
Who was your favorite character? Danny
Who was your least favorite character? Jordan
Who was your most hated character? Athena
Wha… moret did you think about the final? AWESOME AND PERFECTION
What would you change about the final and/or episode 1? Nothing , except Athena dying because look bellow.
Who do you want to die next? No one really except Athena so Ashley will be 100% in being Daniel´s second mother.
Who to you think might die next? Athena or Jordan.
What do you want to see/happen in the next episode? More of characters ruining things and lives
What's your opinion on Zafir now? BAE
What did you think of Josie and Lindsay's return? YAY LINDSAY AND YAY JOSIR FOR LIQUID
What do you think will happen next? You said we will focus on other group but that Daniel will aslo get development.
How will the meth group react to having their mall burnt down? They will try to track them down and kill the group
Themes y… [view original content]
Who was your favorite character? Jake (I feel bad for saying that)
Who was your least favorite character?was Jordan
Who was your most hated character? Zafir
What did you think about the final? Questions have been answered
What would you change about the final and/or episode 1? Literally nothing
Who do you want to die next? Clarice
Who do you think might die next? Jerry
What do you want to see/happen in the next episode? More of the struggle
What's your opinion on Zafir now? Pretty chill guy
What did you think of Josie and Lindsay's return? SO MUCH HYPE
What do you think will happen next? Muuuuuuuurder
How will the meth group react to having their mall burnt down? They won't be very happy like oh
Themes you would like to see? Romance, shades of hope, and definitely some mystery.
Events you would like to see? I dunno, I've been stuck on this question for like 10 minutes now
What are your overall thoughts on the writing? well I've never sent myself into a panic attack over writing before and I don't think I'm going to again but it's pretty great.
Okay, I've done it, I've revealed the fate of Josie and Lindsay at long last! But I have plenty of questions to ask you. So please answer s… moreome of them
Who was your favorite character?
Who was your least favorite character?
Who was your most hated character?
What did you think about the final?
What would you change about the final and/or episode 1?
Who do you want to die next?
Who to you think might die next?
What do you want to see/happen in the next episode?
What's your opinion on Zafir now?
What did you think of Josie and Lindsay's return?
What do you think will happen next?
How will the meth group react to having their mall burnt down?
Themes you would like to see?
Events you would like to see?
What are your overall thoughts on the writing?
I'm working on the new part of the new episode. I hope it leaves of lasting impression of how fucked up the world is in the story. Oh, and not to mention the fucked up stuff in it, but it's pretty bad, I haven't gotten to writing that part of it, but it's safe to say, there's no hope left.
Oh? I almost forgot something...It features a new Point-of-View!
Great job with the story, really tense stuff there and for your questions:
Who was your favorite character?
Uhhhh I dunno really...Everybody loves Jerry, so am I the only one here who doesn't? don't get me wrong, I don't hate the guy but I think I still like Atlanta best and honestly, I'm not sure why.
Who was your least favorite character?
Zarif? I didn't like Jordan too much either.
Who was your most hated character?
What's with the hate? I'm a pretty loving guy...just kidding, I guess Zafir.
What did you think about the final?
Good stuff, I really liked it.
What would you change about the final and/or episode 1?
Nothing that I can think about really.
Who do you want to die next?
Jerry.
Who to you think might die next?
Jerry(probably not tho).
What do you want to see/happen in the next episode?
Now that we got our hope back it's time to take it away again :P
What's your opinion on Zafir now?
He's a bad guy, but with motives, and I can understand him a bit, he's just fucked up beyond repair.
What did you think of Josie and Lindsay's return?
Pretty cool, I want to learn more about their shenanigans while they were gone.
What do you think will happen next?
Death...More death and shattered dreams.
How will the meth group react to having their mall burnt down?
Wild guess here but probably not too good.
Themes you would like to see?
I want to see some more sexual themes here, and not talking about making this an erotic fiction but I'll say what I always say when people talk about this issue with the Telltale games - we don't need to see(or read, in this case) the actual thing, we just need to know it's there. Romantic relationship between two characters would add so much more depth to the story and make it more realistic. But hey, it's just my humble opinion ( I can imagine how awkward it is to write a sex scene lol).
Events you would like to see?
2 groups fighting an epic battle for the same resource ( water, shelter or whatnot)
What are your overall thoughts on the writing?
Solid, you got a great talent and you keep the story going in a good pace.
Oh and I'm glad you're writing a new POV because I wanted to write that we need some fresh new main characters.
I'm working on the new part of the new episode. I hope it leaves of lasting impression of how fucked up the world is in the story. Oh, and n… moreot to mention the fucked up stuff in it, but it's pretty bad, I haven't gotten to writing that part of it, but it's safe to say, there's no hope left.
Oh? I almost forgot something...It features a new Point-of-View!
Comments
Well, so far his interactions with the female members of the group hadn't been that successful. You might say, he hit on Josie that one time, but unfortunately she hit back.
Though the possibilities for Jerry the womanizer aren't so great considering the encountered women are either taken (Maria), taken and lesbian (Atlanta and Ashley), kidnapped and tortured as well as probably hating him (Josie), kidnapped and tortured and underage (Lindsay), probably a traitor who killed Dean (Jordan) or irredeemably evil (Clarice).
Don't forget Jerry killed Clarice's brother XD
Ashley and Atlanta uhhhh one of them talked about it to Jordan or Christian towards the beginning of Chapter 4.. I can't remember quite well, perhaps I need to read up myself.
Yeah, I can see this as possibly standing between them. Clarice might not be too thrilled about it.
When talking with Christian in the woods, she refers to Ashley as her girlfriend. It's been mention several times, but not expressed too much, yet.
Then give me a lesbian sex scene damnit. I don't care!
Have Jerry watch or something.
Just keep him alive!
I think we have another time traveler in the midst of us...
Interesting
Does anybody else want to come forward as a time traveler or will I have to hunt for them too?
Speak now or forever hold your future peace.
I saw Pride as one.
But I deleted my screenshot of it because I need space on my phone.
The count is up to three, that's truly amazing. By like 2016 the time travelers will outnumber everyone else. The forums will be sent into complete chaos.
R.I.P Telltale Games Forums
Voting is closed!
(!) Jerry will surrender
I'll be working on this part all day, hopefully it'll be done by today, but I procrastinate a little so...Anyway...This will be the final part in chapter 5 "Nine O'clock Lab" and the final part in the first of many episodes. Also with the added bonus of a epilogue!
Oh God.
Jerry.....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_XgQhMPeEQ
A little update, I'm nearly finish writing the part and will be reading through it and making changes where changes are needed very soon!
PLEASE JUS POST IT
#Soon
Episode 1: The Gateway Dream - Chapter 5: Nine O’clock Lab - Part 5: Final.
“What the fuck?” Zafir called out to Jerry with a baffled look in the eye. “Why the fuck did…” He paused and took a step closer to Jerry and the escaping group with his hand still placed in the air, ready to give the order to shoot to his surrounding guards.
“Why the fuck?!” Jerry hissed as his grip on the pistol shook. “You’re a monster,” Jerry muttered through gritted teeth.
“I’m-- I’m the monster?” Zafir hissed back with a resentful glare. “We’re all monster of our own making at this point.”
“Don’t try to sugar coat it!” Jerry shouted back as his grip tightened around the trigger. “You’re the only monster here!” Jerry’s mind went back to all the times they were beaten by the dead, all to end with his pistol pointed at the living. But there were reason for this man’s death, he deserved it for all the things he’s done. “I could list the reason on one hand!”
“Then please, do so,” Zafir’s tone sounded tired as he took a another small step forward, almost unnoticed by Jerry. “You think we’re the bad guys?” He added, “is that it?”
“I don’t think, I know!” Jerry reinforced his arm as Zafir grabbed the pistol and simply pulled it out of his hand. All the hope in Jerry’s expression flitted away in seconds. The table had turned on Jerry and he was now at the end of the barrel.
“I don’t take treason well, no one really does…” His attention turned to the others, Jordan and Christian in particular. “Christian...I can understand, but Jordan? I would’ve thought better of you.”
Everyone, expect Jerry and Zafir, remained silent. “Fuck you. You murderous, raping, piece of shit, prick!” Jerry shouted back, as it was all he could do with the impending doom placed on his forehead in the form of a pistol.
“What did you say?!” Zafir hissed back with anger brewing in his eyes. “What have I done to you, other then take you here by force? Seriously, what? I kidnapped you, I understand the resentment from that...But you act like I’ve done something else. something I’m unaware of.”
“Don’t act like you didn’t! You fuckin’ killed them! You fucked them! You hurt them!” Jerry tried to take a step forward but the gun Zafir had taken from Jerry was placed between his eyes.
Zafir’s expression seemed to soften, “I’ve done no such thing,” he answered with the angry look returning. “I would never! You want to know I’ve been through? I doubt you even care, but I’ve been through a lot. My wife and daughter were raped and killed on the first day. I found the bandits that did it...I ripped their teeth out, one by one, tortured them ‘til they were begging for death...and then I didn’t give it to them. I killed them through other means, I broke their minds, I made them into shadows.” Zafir looked at the group that consisted of Jerry, Ashley, Atlanta, Daniel, Jordan and Christian, but his vision landed on Daniel. “My son...resents me for it. My daughter...wasn’t much older then that boy right there. I’m sure he’s been through more they he should at that age...but do you know what it does to people? Truly? Your boy’s broken, I tell by the look in his eye. You’re broken too, Jerry Stewart…”
“I don’t give a shit about your backstory. What I want to know is where my friends are!” Jerry stated after his long paused.
“I’m not saying I don’t believe you. I’m saying I had nothing to do with it, and that if I found out, even if they weren’t my family, I would kill the people who commit such crimes, I would cut off their fingers, their tongue, maybe, pulled out their fingernails before hand, cut off their dick and force it down their throat.” Zafir raised his hand in the air again and made a motion, the guards around him hesitantly lowed their weapons. “You’re all free to go.” He muttered as he tossed the gun to the ground and Jerry bent his knees to grabbed it, slowly rising back up.
“Not until I find my group--” Jerry spoke up, still a little surprised by the revelation.
“Then you tell me, are they here?” Zafir questioned as he faced one of the guards and grabbed a set of keys from them.
“No. They were here, but now they’re gone.” Jerry answered, knowing all-too-well that they were gone.
“Then...Take these keys, they’re to the truck packed with all the supplies taken from your community. I don’t take too kindly to treason within my group, but you seem like you’ve been confused all this time as to who your enemies are...I take it that you killed those two people by the lake? Were they guilty?” Zafir asked, his tone underlining with a subtle rage.
“Does it matter? They’re dead now, but they were murderers, rapers…” Jerry hissed angrily.
“You killed your only chance at find the other people involved. I take more were involved?” Zafir questioned as he stepped to the front doors and gestured for the guards to hold the doors open. “With them dead there’s no way to find any others.”
“Others were involved...But I haven’t found them, yet.” Jerry groaned, “you better take of them.”
The doors began to close and Jerry and his group stepped through them and found themselves in the parking lot of the mall. “I’ll find them in time and deal with them, but you don't show your face around ever again.” And on that note the doors closed and the people inside stood and watched as Jerry climbed in the truck and started it. Christian, Jordan, Ashley, and Daniel set in the back end while Atlanta climbed in front. The group in the pickup bed was careful to avoid the supplies piled in it.
It was dark out, sometime around one o’clock in the night. They pulled through the gate as it opened for them. Out of the corner of his eye and the corner of the rearview mirror, Jerry spotted Clarice running towards Zafir after finally finding him with a panic look on her face.
There was so much to think about, so many things Jerry had forgotten already. Zafir, he said Dan was broken, he could somehow see it in his eye. Jerry knew of what happened to Daniel’s family on the first day of the outbreak. He wasn’t kept in the dark entirely. Anthony had told him after Dean had told Anthony. But they were dead. Both lifeless corpses rotting a hole Jerry had dug, right next to Stan. The times had changed so fast, Jerry had been lost the first couple of days. But Anthony’s death shook him deeply. His dying wish was to have Jerry look after the group, he couldn’t help but think he only choose him due to the lack of other options at the time. But he himself, he was breaking, or already broken, mentally. How could he save himself while still trying to save a group of people that seemed to grow.
Jordan looked at her hands with red, sensitive eyes.
Christian looked back the whole ride as he thought of how quickly he abandoned his girlfriend, Maria. But Zafir’s words help clear his mind of one worry; that she wasn’t being tortured. Maria was safe, but out of reach.
Atlanta kept her eyes on the road, away from the group in the pickup bed, but every now and then looking back to make sure they were okay.
Ashley held Daniel’s hand, the boy never letting go as he stared almost blankly at the retreating road. He was lost in many ways.
They arrived soon enough at the front gate of their old daydream fort. It bleck, devoid of life, so much was lost here. From the first fight that broke out between Jerry and Anthony, to the final days of the community as Jerry pulled his enemy from the dead. The picture still haunted Jerry, of Anthony crawling towards him while making ungodly noises. It was all too clear in Jerry’s mind, but it was hard to forget, or remember Anthony as anything but that monster.
There was a long noise as the truck rolled over the knocked down gate and into the community.
The dead body of Anthony rested in the grave along with Stan and Dean. The darkened skies above sent chills down several of the groups’ spines, it was a sad sight for the remaining members.
But sadness had it’s way long enough… A light shined from inside one of the house, just has the headlights of the truck shined upon the house itself. It was the Harper’s house. Illuminated by the cold light of the truck, the house door swung open and a figure stepped out, holding their hand over their face to shield himself from the harsh light. It was a man, no a boy. He had dark hair, maybe brown. But it was clear he held a assault rifle on his side.
“Hello?” The boy called into the headlights as he struggled to see through them. Jerry flipped a switch and the lights died down just enough to see the boy’s face. He was somewhat short and had dark brown hair, he was young, probably in his teenage years.
Jerry gripped Anthony’s pistol tightly as he notice the boy reaching repositioning his assault rifle. “Don’t shoot!” Ashley quickly called to the young boy and he hesitated.
“I won’t shoot, but you can’t shoot either.” He answered as he let his rifle rest against the porch. “Who are you?” He asked through the softer light as he began to notice how many people there were for the first time. This was met by a shock look, almost one of fear.
“My name is Jerry Stewart…” he answered as he walked closer to the porch and the boy, “and this is my neighborhood.” The boy get a good look at Jerry, his broken nose, many cuts and bruises and blood stained shirt. It made a clear impression on the boy and he took a step back. “I don’t want to kill you, but--” Jerry started, but couldn't finish when a loud voice echoed from inside the house. “Keith...What’s--”
“Jerry?!” It was female, suddenly two other figures step out of the house and stood near the boy. It was Josephine and Lindsay. Josie being the one who called out.
Jerry’s expression lighted beyond measurement. He took several steps forward and then broke into a run. Within seconds he was giving Josie and Lindsay a big hug, much to their surprise. The boy stood back with a dumbfounded expression as he watched Jerry let go of the duo. He could make out bruises of their arms and face, but they were alive.
“Um…” Lindsay mumbled awkwardly.
“I found you. I’ve finally found you.” Jerry smiled as he looked back at the rest of the group, but soon remembered the dead members and his face hardened, “there’s a lot we need to talk about.”
End of “The Gateway Dream.”
(I forgot the song, but please disregard the second song in the video)
Are We Afraid
ZAFIR IS BAE
Lindsayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy YAY
Hope , give me more Hope.
And who is this boy/man?
Awesome Chapter!
Yep! ^-^
Yay!
Hope comes and goes, but baby's are also something.
Keith, it wasn't detailed but it was very heavily implied
Thank you!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iBbo0slWMW4
Dear God he's alive.
Okay, I've done it, I've revealed the fate of Josie and Lindsay at long last! But I have plenty of questions to ask you. So please answer some of them
Who was your favorite character?
Who was your least favorite character?
Who was your most hated character?
What did you think about the final?
What would you change about the final and/or episode 1?
Who do you want to die next?
Who to you think might die next?
What do you want to see/happen in the next episode?
What's your opinion on Zafir now?
What did you think of Josie and Lindsay's return?
What do you think will happen next?
How will the meth group react to having their mall burnt down?
Themes you would like to see?
Events you would like to see?
What are your overall thoughts on the writing?
Well, this ended better thani speculated.
Diffidently a lot more hopeful
Who was your favorite character? Danny
Who was your least favorite character? Jordan
Who was your most hated character? Athena
What did you think about the final? AWESOME AND PERFECTION
What would you change about the final and/or episode 1? Nothing , except Athena dying because look bellow.
Who do you want to die next? No one really except Athena so Ashley will be 100% in being Daniel´s second mother.
Who to you think might die next? Athena or Jordan.
What do you want to see/happen in the next episode? More of characters ruining things and lives
What's your opinion on Zafir now? BAE
What did you think of Josie and Lindsay's return? YAY LINDSAY AND YAY JOSIR FOR LIQUID
What do you think will happen next? You said we will focus on other group but that Daniel will aslo get development.
How will the meth group react to having their mall burnt down? They will try to track them down and kill the group
Themes you would like to see? Hopeless
Events you would like to see? My characters appearing and either Clarice or Carolina killing Jerry out of anger.
What are your overall thoughts on the writing? 100000000000000000000000000000000000/10 not joking , for real bro
Who was your favorite character? Jerry.
Who was your least favorite character? Zafir.
Who was your most hated character? Clarice..
What did you think about the final? Kind of underwhelming, bout I'm glad Jerry didn't die.
What would you change about the final and/or episode 1? Clarice dies. She's going to be very pissed.
Who do you want to die next? Clarice.
Who to you think might die next? Christian.
What do you want to see/happen in the next episode? Some repair of Harvest Hills.
What's your opinion on Zafir now? He's an dick.
What did you think of Josie and Lindsay's return? Eh, I kind of wish they were dead.
What do you think will happen next? Well, Clarice will probably try to kill Jerry, and some more details about Keith. Also, more repairs of walls.
How will the meth group react to having their mall burnt down? Not well.**
Themes you would like to see? Some more romance.
Events you would like to see? Military vehicle attack. Something along the lines of the Season 3 finale or Season 4 Mid-Season Finale.
What are your overall thoughts on the writing? It's amazing.
What in the... what... what... what in the... what... how... why... who... what...
Liquid.exe has encountered a problem and needs to close
Rebooting Liquid.exe
What... what... what....
WHAT IN THE.... HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?
Ahem...
After just staring at my screen for literally a few minutes, trying to process what just happened, I am now able to write in full sentences again. And... no, wait, I am still not able to write in full sentences, except... maybe... let me try...
How is that possible? Josie and Lindsay have been in that room and there was blood and now they are alive and fine? And everyone in Zafir's group is an evil rapist torturer, why haven't they been raped and tortured? And who helped them escape? And why did Zafir just let the group go instead of butchering them? He is evil! He is a monster! Why wasn't he involved in all of this? How can he dare having positive character traits after all that happened? And what exactly happened to Josie and Lindsay? They couldn't just escape on their own, right? And is that guy with them the same guy I wanted to send back to his father, piece by piece? And... and all these hints towards my worst fears... what exactly did just happen?
But perhaps the biggest plot twist of them all:
So, you're telling me I have been Zafir all along? Because that is oddly reminding me of everything I ever said about that... that... monster? But... how...? What exactly is he, if he isn't some sort of sick rapist torturer son of a pig?
Okay... after this I can only say that I am in an odd state of complete bliss and utter shock... I mean, obviously I am the most happy Liquid ever because I got Josie back, apparently physically and mentally in one piece... but why aren't the mall people complete monsters? They kidnapped them and they have been responsible for all of this... why... gosh, I am far too happy to speculate about these things right now...
What... what... what... oh... questions... I like to answer questions...
Who was your favorite character?
Not writing Jerry in here would be a crime against humanity. He came a long, long way from the son of a Zafir he was in the first two and a half episodes. However, seeing the extreme amount of emotion her capture, implied horrible offscreen torture and final reappearance just caused, I have to name Josie as well. Anything else would be hypocritical. So, it's Jerry and Josie, even though the latter had barely any screentime compared to the former
Who was your least favorite character?
Now... Zafir? I don't know. I'm still shocked about him. He was supposed to be the one I could hate! Why is he a human being? How can he dare being a human being? How can he dare making it hard for me to choose my least favourite? Because it isn't Zafir anymore... I don't even know how to feel about him. Do I want to see him dead, do I want to see him tortured, do I want to see him redeeming himself, has he redeemed himself... So, perhaps my least favourite character is anyone involved in the abduction of Josie. I have no names here, but they are exactly how I thought Zafir was...
Who was your most hated character?
With emphasis on was: Zafir, easily. The sheer amount of hatred I had for him would have been enough to hate a whole continent. I actually hated his son by proxy simply because I couldn't centre all my hatred on Zafir... But I don't know if he is my most hated character anymore.
What did you think about the final?
What... How... Finale... Got my Josie back... Happy Liquid is happy... but shocked Liquid is shocked...
What would you change about the final and/or episode 1?
Nah... nah... nothing... god I loose my ability to write in full sentences again... Episode 1 put me through such a severe emotional trauma that the only thing I would change would be far more Josie, simply so that I don't run into the danger of having a seizure again...
Who do you want to die next?
Mall group? I think it's still safe to say I hate them, but... so much less...
Who to you think might die next?
Maybe... I have no idea. Hopefully not Josie. After all that happened to get her back to the group I don't think I would be able to stand loosing her again, this time permanently. Maybe Ashley? Just a guess, I have no idea
What do you want to see/happen in the next episode?
Josie just being safe, doing her Josie stuff, me knowing exactly what she is doing. I could not think of anything else I want to see more.
What's your opinion on Zafir now?
Don't get me wrong, he is still an asshole. But... an asshole that has rudimentary human traits... still, I don't know if I would shoot him in the head quickly or if I would shoot him in the dick and leave him to bleed out...
What did you think of Josie and Lindsay's return?
Wha... wh... Josie back... so happy... no words for that... so happy... want Josie focus... want to speak in full sentences again...
What do you think will happen next?
No idea. Maybe things. Hopefully Josie things, but positive Josie things. I can't even try not to put all my focus right now on her, since she had been gone for so long and I am just too happy to see her back.
How will the meth group react to having their mall burnt down?
Not well. No, not at all. They will probably plan their attack on Harvest Hills. But... Josie is in Harvest Hills! Not good! No! Not good!
Themes you would like to see?
Hope, Peace, Joy, everything is happy around Josie... that will likely not happen, but forgive me if I care like a helicopter parent around her right now.
Events you would like to see?
Josie related events. Lindsay related events. They had been gone for so long, they need some focus. Last episode had been around 70% Jerry, with maybe 10-15% Atlanta, 10% Anthony and the last 5% other people. I know Jerry is a main character and I love him, but the other group members need their time to shine.
What are your overall thoughts on the writing?
How dare you making me anxious like this? And I mean that more positive than it sounds! This is... I have no words for how much I love this story and usually I have words for everything. But this is just... the way you managed to play me like a fiddle, making me nearly madly worried before... No, I have no words, except 'I love this story it might even be my favourite on this forum'
Also , please take out the focus from Jerry please
Duly noted :P
I am not the only asking for it ;P
Too much Jerry can be bad for one's health :P
The way to get better for your health after that is giving more Jerry , but in pieces ;D
Exactly :P
Jerry Bits!
Sold over the counter at your local pharmacy!
Don't forget your Jerry shape vitamins!
Sold only at Jerry Mart!!!
Who was your favorite character? Jake (I feel bad for saying that)
Who was your least favorite character? was Jordan
Who was your most hated character? Zafir
What did you think about the final? Questions have been answered
What would you change about the final and/or episode 1? Literally nothing
Who do you want to die next? Clarice
Who do you think might die next? Jerry
What do you want to see/happen in the next episode? More of the struggle
What's your opinion on Zafir now? Pretty chill guy
What did you think of Josie and Lindsay's return? SO MUCH HYPE
What do you think will happen next? Muuuuuuuurder
How will the meth group react to having their mall burnt down? They won't be very happy like oh
Themes you would like to see? Romance, shades of hope, and definitely some mystery.
Events you would like to see? I dunno, I've been stuck on this question for like 10 minutes now
What are your overall thoughts on the writing? well I've never sent myself into a panic attack over writing before and I don't think I'm going to again but it's pretty great.
I'm working on the new part of the new episode. I hope it leaves of lasting impression of how fucked up the world is in the story. Oh, and not to mention the fucked up stuff in it, but it's pretty bad, I haven't gotten to writing that part of it, but it's safe to say, there's no hope left.
Oh? I almost forgot something...It features a new Point-of-View!
So I just read the last part..
Great job with the story, really tense stuff there
and for your questions:
Who was your favorite character?
Uhhhh I dunno really...Everybody loves Jerry, so am I the only one here who doesn't? don't get me wrong, I don't hate the guy but I think I still like Atlanta best and honestly, I'm not sure why.
Who was your least favorite character?
Zarif? I didn't like Jordan too much either.
Who was your most hated character?
What's with the hate? I'm a pretty loving guy...just kidding, I guess Zafir.
What did you think about the final?
Good stuff, I really liked it.
What would you change about the final and/or episode 1?
Nothing that I can think about really.
Who do you want to die next?
Jerry.
Who to you think might die next?
Jerry(probably not tho).
What do you want to see/happen in the next episode?
Now that we got our hope back it's time to take it away again :P
What's your opinion on Zafir now?
He's a bad guy, but with motives, and I can understand him a bit, he's just fucked up beyond repair.
What did you think of Josie and Lindsay's return?
Pretty cool, I want to learn more about their shenanigans while they were gone.
What do you think will happen next?
Death...More death and shattered dreams.
How will the meth group react to having their mall burnt down?
Wild guess here but probably not too good.
Themes you would like to see?
I want to see some more sexual themes here, and not talking about making this an erotic fiction but I'll say what I always say when people talk about this issue with the Telltale games - we don't need to see(or read, in this case) the actual thing, we just need to know it's there. Romantic relationship between two characters would add so much more depth to the story and make it more realistic. But hey, it's just my humble opinion ( I can imagine how awkward it is to write a sex scene lol).
Events you would like to see?
2 groups fighting an epic battle for the same resource ( water, shelter or whatnot)
What are your overall thoughts on the writing?
Solid, you got a great talent and you keep the story going in a good pace.
Oh and I'm glad you're writing a new POV because I wanted to write that we need some fresh new main characters.