I do want to expand on the relationships, but as you said, it can lead to some very awkward moments. Though I don't think there will be any hardcore sex scenes, I do have some relationships in mind and I plan to expand on a few existing ones as well!
Oh and it may be a little early to tell, but I think Vincent Hale might have a spot within the new PoV. So expect him to appear sooner of later!
So I just read the last part..
Great job with the story, really tense stuff there and for your questions:
Who was your favorite c… moreharacter?
Uhhhh I dunno really...Everybody loves Jerry, so am I the only one here who doesn't? don't get me wrong, I don't hate the guy but I think I still like Atlanta best and honestly, I'm not sure why.
Who was your least favorite character?
Zarif? I didn't like Jordan too much either.
Who was your most hated character?
What's with the hate? I'm a pretty loving guy...just kidding, I guess Zafir.
What did you think about the final?
Good stuff, I really liked it.
What would you change about the final and/or episode 1?
Nothing that I can think about really.
Who do you want to die next?
Jerry.
Who to you think might die next?
Jerry(probably not tho).
What do you want to see/happen in the next episode?
Now that we got our hope back it's time to take it away again :… [view original content]
“F-f-fuck,” the boy stuttered with a huff as he rested his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath.
The roamers were near him and approaching from most directions as his eyes darted back and forth for some place safe. He had a bearing as he joulted towards a schools bus blocking the small paved road while sitting on it’s side. The boy struggled and soon climbed on the bus’ side, finally giving him a chance to get his bearings straightened out.
His eyes widened with shock as he look through the windows of the bus, his slight meeting that of a small dead student trapped in the bus. It came to his attention the bus was loaded with young children who all seemed interested in him as they dragged their feet towards him. “Ugh…” the boy scoffed in disgust, uncomfortable with his situation, but safe nonetheless.
He wore tattered jeans and a jacket, both of dark coloring. He was young, but still in his early teenage years, possessing dark brown hair and hazel eyes. He shuffled his mud stained sneakers over the bus’ side as he neared the edge, peering over at the roamers and walkers, whatever people seemed to name them. It was scary, they had names once too. Simplar to his own, but different and unique, although forgotten.
The boy let out a loud and annoyed sigh as he stepped away from the edge of the bus and took in his surroundings. It was small road, paved with dark asphalt. Dead grass surrounded the place, along with several signs dotting the road at different lengths. He looked up to get a sense of time, being greeted by the bright sun’s orange light. It was almost centered above him in the sly. A sudden memory of the times in school shot through his mind, he wish they had taught him to survive, to hunt, to fish, anything that could help him now. The knowledge of math proved useless in these times.
The sound of the dead banging on the bus made him joult back into the reality as he looked at them once more, they moaned and groaned for attention, trying to meaninglessly kill him. It lacked purpose. Why did it want to eat him? Why was that all it knew? He wish for answers more then anything.
Days seemed long and tiring. The roaming dead didn’t help when he was tired and hungry all the time. When he tried to think of it, he couldn’t think of the last time he had his fill, it probably was the day it started, but that had to have been several weeks ago.
He raised his arms on a impulse and looked at the walkers clawing at him, but just out of reach. He held out both his arms and stood like a cross as he thought deeply. He didn’t know anymore, he didn’t see a point.
The boy closed his eyes tightly and tried to lean forward, but his body refused out of fear. His legs shook as he set down with teary eyes. He kept them closed, he didn’t want to open them. No weapons, no supplies, why did he run away?
He wish he had his mother most of all. She could tell him it would be alright, that there was hope, even though it was long gone. The words would’ve been enough for him. “I miss it all,” the boy thought aloud while his expression formed a frown, “I miss the normal days. Even the bad ones. They were better than this…” He lowered his upper body onto the bus and lay down, closing his eyes.
Deep in thought, he lay silently as the dead continued their pitiful game of banging on the bus. His eyes, currently close tightly, shot open at the loud sound of a gunshot. He jumped up and looked around, several walkers still banged at the bus, plus the one’s inside of the thing. BUt a flock of birds retreated from the treeline as the shot ringed through the air. The boy looked up, then chocked his head back to look at the sun; about two or three hours had to have passed based on the position of the sun. He could have sworn he had just closed his eyes minutes ago.
But not seconds had passed before a second shot ringed through the boy’s ears. This time he got a good bearing and hopped up, looking down at the walkers below him as he sighed and jumped down, then quickly ran past them.
He was fast and quick in general, but with the lack endurance due to the lack of food. He couldn’t think to bring anything with him? Sure he was low on time, but he could have grabbed something helpful. Now all he had was the cloths on his back, and even those were ripped and stained.
As he grew closer to the source of the gunshot, he thought of something; what if they were bad people? He had no way to know, then no way to fight back. Rumors go around fast, he had heard from several folk passing through the area that the land around here was homed to monstrous people. He had been only careful up until he got that news, but now he had to be extra careful, almost paranoid to avoid these people.
“Fuck ‘em,” the young boy muttered under his breath as he approached a motel at the side of the road. He didn’t have to confront them, but just get a good look at them and size them up.
The sound of voices echoed through the air, though soft at this distance, they probably shouting. “--That’s fucked up, even for us!” He could finally hear what they were saying clearly, as he hid behind a… It looked like some kind of concession stand, maybe tacos. It had a folded porch on it’s side that face him as he hid behind the truck and it’s trailer. He peeked over the truck’s hood and got a good look at the people, two men, both armed with pistols as they stood over something at the second story of the motel, but it was out of his field of view.
“--Well grab the gun and take it with us,” one said in reply, “we can leave IT here. Besides, the mom’s bit, she won’t do.”
“Fine. But do want to put it down?” The other questioned as he pulled out his pistol from his jacket.
“No, don’t waste the bullet. Let’s goin’ before the dead come out,” the stranger answered as he stepped away from whatever it was they were standing over and started walking towards the stairwell down to the ground.
The boy slowed his breathing and tried to remain calm as he watched the group of two walked down to the small parking lot and ducked his head down to keep out of sight. To his benefit it payed out and he remained hidden as the two walked onto the road and didn’t even get a glance at him.
“Idiots,” the boy hissed softly as he left his hiding spot and approached the motel. Were those the people to be feared? They didn’t seem like much to the boy. What was it they were looking at and talking about?
“Oh...sonofabitch…” he mumbled as he reached the top of the stairs and listened to the quiet but fierce sound of crying. There was a body, propped against the outside wall of the motel, blood seemed to have splattered on it and it’s surroundings.
A gruesome sight, indeed. A middle aged woman leaned sideways over her own shoulder with a bloody hole in her head, going from her left temple to all the way out on the other side. But the more shocking fact of the situation was the baby laying next to it’s mother.
The body was crying and had the mother’s blood peppering it’s face, but gruesomely worse…a bloody spot on the baby’s forehead, it was shot too, but remained alive...
It was all too clear of what happened, the mother had killed herself, but before that, she tried to kill the baby, but failed to realize it before offing herself. Why? Why did she do this...was it too avoid those people? There was a bloodied bit taken out of the woman. So she was bitten as well? But there was no need to let it suffer anymore than it already had.
The boy placed his hand over the baby’s mouth and whispered softly with tears falling to the flooring. “God save us…”
Monument - Episode Two - Marching Band.
Chapter One: Trauma. - Part One: The Lost.
“F-f-fuck,” the boy stuttered with a huff as he res… moreted his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath.
The roamers were near him and approaching from most directions as his eyes darted back and forth for some place safe. He had a bearing as he joulted towards a schools bus blocking the small paved road while sitting on it’s side. The boy struggled and soon climbed on the bus’ side, finally giving him a chance to get his bearings straightened out.
His eyes widened with shock as he look through the windows of the bus, his slight meeting that of a small dead student trapped in the bus. It came to his attention the bus was loaded with young children who all seemed interested in him as they dragged their feet towards him. “Ugh…” the boy scoffed in disgust, uncomfortable with his situation, but safe nonetheless.
He wore tattered jeans and a jacket,… [view original content]
Monument - Episode Two - Marching Band.
Chapter One: Trauma. - Part One: The Lost.
“F-f-fuck,” the boy stuttered with a huff as he res… moreted his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath.
The roamers were near him and approaching from most directions as his eyes darted back and forth for some place safe. He had a bearing as he joulted towards a schools bus blocking the small paved road while sitting on it’s side. The boy struggled and soon climbed on the bus’ side, finally giving him a chance to get his bearings straightened out.
His eyes widened with shock as he look through the windows of the bus, his slight meeting that of a small dead student trapped in the bus. It came to his attention the bus was loaded with young children who all seemed interested in him as they dragged their feet towards him. “Ugh…” the boy scoffed in disgust, uncomfortable with his situation, but safe nonetheless.
He wore tattered jeans and a jacket,… [view original content]
Monument - Episode Two - Marching Band.
Chapter One: Trauma. - Part One: The Lost.
“F-f-fuck,” the boy stuttered with a huff as he res… moreted his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath.
The roamers were near him and approaching from most directions as his eyes darted back and forth for some place safe. He had a bearing as he joulted towards a schools bus blocking the small paved road while sitting on it’s side. The boy struggled and soon climbed on the bus’ side, finally giving him a chance to get his bearings straightened out.
His eyes widened with shock as he look through the windows of the bus, his slight meeting that of a small dead student trapped in the bus. It came to his attention the bus was loaded with young children who all seemed interested in him as they dragged their feet towards him. “Ugh…” the boy scoffed in disgust, uncomfortable with his situation, but safe nonetheless.
He wore tattered jeans and a jacket,… [view original content]
You know what I liked the most in this part? I wasn't even close to having a heart-attack, induced by anger and fear, while reading it...
In all seriousness, this was a great start for the new episode! I'm excited for this storyline and look forward to learn how it connects with other storylines in the future.
Monument - Episode Two - Marching Band.
Chapter One: Trauma. - Part One: The Lost.
“F-f-fuck,” the boy stuttered with a huff as he res… moreted his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath.
The roamers were near him and approaching from most directions as his eyes darted back and forth for some place safe. He had a bearing as he joulted towards a schools bus blocking the small paved road while sitting on it’s side. The boy struggled and soon climbed on the bus’ side, finally giving him a chance to get his bearings straightened out.
His eyes widened with shock as he look through the windows of the bus, his slight meeting that of a small dead student trapped in the bus. It came to his attention the bus was loaded with young children who all seemed interested in him as they dragged their feet towards him. “Ugh…” the boy scoffed in disgust, uncomfortable with his situation, but safe nonetheless.
He wore tattered jeans and a jacket,… [view original content]
You know what I liked the most in this part? I wasn't even close to having a heart-attack, induced by anger and fear, while reading it...
… more In all seriousness, this was a great start for the new episode! I'm excited for this storyline and look forward to learn how it connects with other storylines in the future.
I hope you can continue to say that as it worsens in hope and morality ^-^
Probably not. The moment the Harvest Hills group returns will be the moment my Zen-like bliss will be gone, replaced by the familiar feeling of sitting on the edge of my seat and waking up in the middle of the night, checking if there might be a new part.
I'm glad to hear it, it was diffidently dark, and that particular storyline will be particularly dark...
Trust me, the one good thing that came out of my far too active mind in the last episode is that it probably started to prepare me for particularly dark stuff. Which means, I am not ready, I am not ready at all for this episode. But I could be less ready!
I hope you can continue to say that as it worsens in hope and morality ^-^
I'm glad to hear it, it was diffidently dark, and that particular storyline will be particularly dark...
I hope you can continue to say that as it worsens in hope and morality ^-^
Probably not. The moment the Harvest Hills group returns … morewill be the moment my Zen-like bliss will be gone, replaced by the familiar feeling of sitting on the edge of my seat and waking up in the middle of the night, checking if there might be a new part.
I'm glad to hear it, it was diffidently dark, and that particular storyline will be particularly dark...
Trust me, the one good thing that came out of my far too active mind in the last episode is that it probably started to prepare me for particularly dark stuff. Which means, I am not ready, I am not ready at all for this episode. But I could be less ready!
In this chapter I liked Christian and Atlanta the most. Jerry had some good scenes but he starts to get a bit boring in my opinion. In the whole episode I liked Atlanta, Josie and Stan the most.
Who was your least favorite character?
Zafir
Who was your most hated character?
Zafir again
What did you think about the final?
It was very cool and unexpected! I havent thought that Zafir just lets them go or that Josie and Lindsay escaped indeed
What would you change about the final and/or episode 1?
Nothing! Maybe, like Supersagig and LiquidChicagoTed said there was a lot of Jerry focus over the other group members but I think this was necessary in this episode. But it should change in future episodes or else Jerry could end up like Daryl from the show, who takes too much focus away from the others and becomes annoying because of this
Who do you want to die next?
I hate Zafir but he is an interesting villain, so maybe Jake or Clarice should die first. If I have to choose someone from the Harvest Hills group I would choose Jerry because I want to learn more about the rest
Who to you think might die next?
Maybe one from the Harvest Hills group but I have no idea who, or a new character from the new POV. I kind of hope it will be Jerry before he gets too boring
What do you want to see/happen in the next episode?
Maybe the group either repairing Harvest Hills and starting to build their own community, or leaving in search of a new hideout
What's your opinion on Zafir now?
He is not as evil as I thought he would be. Like LiquidChicagoTed I had a very bad opinion on him and thought he was capable of everything but he surprised me. I still dont like him, because he kidnapped the group and forced them into slavery, so I think he is still a pretty evil guy and I hate him
What did you think of Josie and Lindsay's return?
Loved it! I liked Josie in the first two chapters and hoped for her survival and we have barely seen Lindsay, so I am happy that both of them are okay. I hope we learn more about them and how they escaped from the mall
What do you think will happen next?
There will be trouble with the mall group. Maybe they can settle it peacefully but I think especially Clarice will want revenge on Jerry
How will the meth group react to having their mall burnt down?
Not good. I said it above, I think there will be trouble and Zafir and Clarice will maybe try to kill Jerry
Themes you would like to see?
Like Upshaw and imighthavebrokenit said, I would like romance, and also dire situations but with a bit of hope at the end
Events you would like to see?
Maybe the building of a community either in Harvest Hills or somewhere else and more of the other Harvest Hills characters and their backstory
What are your overall thoughts on the writing?
Amazing! I think you are the best writer I have seen here so far!
Okay, I've done it, I've revealed the fate of Josie and Lindsay at long last! But I have plenty of questions to ask you. So please answer s… moreome of them
Who was your favorite character?
Who was your least favorite character?
Who was your most hated character?
What did you think about the final?
What would you change about the final and/or episode 1?
Who do you want to die next?
Who to you think might die next?
What do you want to see/happen in the next episode?
What's your opinion on Zafir now?
What did you think of Josie and Lindsay's return?
What do you think will happen next?
How will the meth group react to having their mall burnt down?
Themes you would like to see?
Events you would like to see?
What are your overall thoughts on the writing?
Who was your favorite character?
In this chapter I liked Christian and Atlanta the most. Jerry had some good scenes but he starts to get … morea bit boring in my opinion. In the whole episode I liked Atlanta, Josie and Stan the most.
Who was your least favorite character?
Zafir
Who was your most hated character?
Zafir again
What did you think about the final?
It was very cool and unexpected! I havent thought that Zafir just lets them go or that Josie and Lindsay escaped indeed
What would you change about the final and/or episode 1?
Nothing! Maybe, like Supersagig and LiquidChicagoTed said there was a lot of Jerry focus over the other group members but I think this was necessary in this episode. But it should change in future episodes or else Jerry could end up like Daryl from the show, who takes too much focus away from the others and becomes annoying because of this
Who do you want to die next?
I hate Zafir but he … [view original content]
Monument - Episode Two - Marching Band.
Chapter One: Trauma. - Part One: The Lost.
“F-f-fuck,” the boy stuttered with a huff as he res… moreted his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath.
The roamers were near him and approaching from most directions as his eyes darted back and forth for some place safe. He had a bearing as he joulted towards a schools bus blocking the small paved road while sitting on it’s side. The boy struggled and soon climbed on the bus’ side, finally giving him a chance to get his bearings straightened out.
His eyes widened with shock as he look through the windows of the bus, his slight meeting that of a small dead student trapped in the bus. It came to his attention the bus was loaded with young children who all seemed interested in him as they dragged their feet towards him. “Ugh…” the boy scoffed in disgust, uncomfortable with his situation, but safe nonetheless.
He wore tattered jeans and a jacket,… [view original content]
The boy siffled and wiped away several tears remaining in his eyes. How had things gotten so awful, so bad, so quickly… Times had not only changed, but did so in devastating way, leaving them in a world forgotten.
He left the motel behind and had been walking down the road with sometime, but at that point, it dawned on him the nature of this area and the people who inhabited it. But worse of all, it was growing dark and he was out in the open, he had nowhere to hide, to rest, to sleep! He began to panic as he stood on the small paved road with no shelter from the elements, but the trees that dotted the landscape...they would have to do.
Quick to run towards one of the larger trees in the woods, he grabbed hold of a notch and pulled himself up a ways and then repeated until he was safe in the tree, away from anyone’s reach or sight. He pulled himself up one last time and poked his head out of the upper branches. It would have been an amazing view if it hadn’t been for the lights that danced on the horizon.
A scary sight indeed.
The lights were probably manned by people as they combed the woods for something, or someone. They were likely the sort of people to kidnap you and take you into a truck and bring you to god knows where. But above all things to fear about them at that time was the fact they were steadily approaching.
The revelation came somewhat late to the boy, “oh shit…” he mumble to himself as he straightened his back and watched the light show. Lucky for him they were not only moving slowly, but were still a great distance away. He quietly remained in the tree, unable to catch a nights rest by the fear that beheld him.
The sun set as he watched the lights move along the land, keeping up pace with one another as they thankfully passed towards the far left of the boy’s tree, not one even getting close.
It was a lucky break in the sea of horrible luck. Once the danger had clearly passed, he let out a tired breath, “sonofabitch…” he exclaimed with a yawn as he rest his head on the limb and put his weight on it, he relaxed his muscles his eyelids drifted shut.
“What-- What are you doing?!” He himself cried, looking into the canvas tent.
“Calm the fuck do-- Fuck it... “ The man tried to calm him, stepping away from the dead body he had just choked out.
"Don’t get near me--” He stuttered as he backed away and tripping, causing him to land on his back.
“Ahh!” The voice gargled, choking on it’s own blood as the once-thought-dead zombified girl bit into the man’s neck.
“You’re a monster!” He screamed as he picked himself up and ran away fast.
“Calime?!” He exclaimed as he neared the young woman, “we need to go, grab everything you need and leave behind anything that doesn’t matter!”
“Are you sure this is a good place to set up camp?”
“It’s as good as any other...” he sighed while putting up the small canvas tent.
“There, all done,” she finished, climbing inside the tent, “cosey…”
“I’m going to the crick, I’ll be back in-- probably half an hour…” He left without waiting for a reply.
He stood at a small river, water steadily trickling down the rocks and pebbles to what had to have been a larger body of water. But he just stood staring at it with his black jacket and blue jeans blowing in the wind while his dark brown hair did the same, not once looking away. “Zayne!” She cried, “Zayne!” A young female voice bellowed, causing him to frantically turn towards the screams.
He ran faster than he had ever ran before, but it was too late. Three of the monstrous roamers happened upon their unprotected campsite. They tore at the tent where the young woman hid, ripping it and knocking it over as she screamed inside.
No matter how he approached the problem, they ripped into the tent, and her… He rushed forward and try as he must, he couldn’t save her. “Ahhhhh!” The screams pierced his ears as he fell to the ground in tears.
“Ah!” He jumped up with tears in his eyes and a horrified expression. The jolut of his sudden movement caused him to almost fall completely off the tree limb he lay on, but as he fell, he briefly caught hold of the branch and held on as tightly as he could. Throwing his elbows over it and dangling there helplessly. He shot his line of sight towards the ground, it was a distance, but it couldn’t have been more than 10 feet with several branches that might cause painful impact during the fall down, not to mention the impact itself.
[Pull himself up with the little strength he possesses.]
I just want to explain myself a tad bit. I'm stepping away from the Harvest Hills group for just a little while, but they'll be back before you know it
I'm planning to have them on the same part, side by side with the other PoV very soon.
Chapter 1: Trauma. - Part 2: Hidden and Scared.
The Countryside.
The boy siffled and wiped away several tears remaining in his eyes. H… moreow had things gotten so awful, so bad, so quickly… Times had not only changed, but did so in devastating way, leaving them in a world forgotten.
He left the motel behind and had been walking down the road with sometime, but at that point, it dawned on him the nature of this area and the people who inhabited it. But worse of all, it was growing dark and he was out in the open, he had nowhere to hide, to rest, to sleep! He began to panic as he stood on the small paved road with no shelter from the elements, but the trees that dotted the landscape...they would have to do.
Quick to run towards one of the larger trees in the woods, he grabbed hold of a notch and pulled himself up a ways and then repeated until he was safe in the tree, away from anyone’s reach or sight. He pulled himself up one last time … [view original content]
[Pull himself up with the little strength he possesses.]
I assume he can still drop down if he finds out he doesn't have enough strength to pull himself up. I mean, in that case down is the only way to go either way. I don't think simply dropping down will end well.
Chapter 1: Trauma. - Part 2: Hidden and Scared.
The Countryside.
The boy siffled and wiped away several tears remaining in his eyes. H… moreow had things gotten so awful, so bad, so quickly… Times had not only changed, but did so in devastating way, leaving them in a world forgotten.
He left the motel behind and had been walking down the road with sometime, but at that point, it dawned on him the nature of this area and the people who inhabited it. But worse of all, it was growing dark and he was out in the open, he had nowhere to hide, to rest, to sleep! He began to panic as he stood on the small paved road with no shelter from the elements, but the trees that dotted the landscape...they would have to do.
Quick to run towards one of the larger trees in the woods, he grabbed hold of a notch and pulled himself up a ways and then repeated until he was safe in the tree, away from anyone’s reach or sight. He pulled himself up one last time … [view original content]
[Pull himself up with the little strength he possesses.]
I assume he can still drop down if he finds out he doesn't have enough strength … moreto pull himself up. I mean, in that case down is the only way to go either way. I don't think simply dropping down will end well.
My cardiologist would like to kindly thank you for the temporary break from Harvest Hills. I enjoy this new PoV, but I also have to say that I am looking forward for their return after that episode finale gave my brain something close to a bluescreen.
I just want to explain myself a tad bit. I'm stepping away from the Harvest Hills group for just a little while, but they'll be back before you know it
I'm planning to have them on the same part, side by side with the other PoV very soon.
True, it sounds like he is in trouble regardless of what choice he takes. But I guess the fall is the most dangerous here and avoiding it should be his goal right now. And if he succeeds he might end up not breaking his legs or worse.
Since he's currently weak from the lack of feed, water, sleep, etc, it could prove challenging and maybe even harmful.
And of course, allowing himself to fall could prove ever more dangerous.
My cardiologist would like to kindly thank you for the temporary break from Harvest Hills. I enjoy this new PoV, but I also have to say that… more I am looking forward for their return after that episode finale gave my brain something close to a bluescreen.
True, it sounds like he is in trouble regardless of what choice he takes. But I guess the fall is the most dangerous here and avoiding it should be his goal right now. And if he succeeds he might end up not breaking his legs or worse.
Chapter 1: Trauma. - Part 2: Hidden and Scared.
The Countryside.
The boy siffled and wiped away several tears remaining in his eyes. H… moreow had things gotten so awful, so bad, so quickly… Times had not only changed, but did so in devastating way, leaving them in a world forgotten.
He left the motel behind and had been walking down the road with sometime, but at that point, it dawned on him the nature of this area and the people who inhabited it. But worse of all, it was growing dark and he was out in the open, he had nowhere to hide, to rest, to sleep! He began to panic as he stood on the small paved road with no shelter from the elements, but the trees that dotted the landscape...they would have to do.
Quick to run towards one of the larger trees in the woods, he grabbed hold of a notch and pulled himself up a ways and then repeated until he was safe in the tree, away from anyone’s reach or sight. He pulled himself up one last time … [view original content]
[Drop down and hope for the best.]
2
They were likely the sort of people to kidnap you and take you into a truck and bring you to g… moreod knows where.
Indirecting Zafir, Jake, Jordan, Christian, and anyone else who was involved in the kidnapping I see...
Chapter 1: Trauma. - Part 2: Hidden and Scared.
The Countryside.
The boy siffled and wiped away several tears remaining in his eyes. H… moreow had things gotten so awful, so bad, so quickly… Times had not only changed, but did so in devastating way, leaving them in a world forgotten.
He left the motel behind and had been walking down the road with sometime, but at that point, it dawned on him the nature of this area and the people who inhabited it. But worse of all, it was growing dark and he was out in the open, he had nowhere to hide, to rest, to sleep! He began to panic as he stood on the small paved road with no shelter from the elements, but the trees that dotted the landscape...they would have to do.
Quick to run towards one of the larger trees in the woods, he grabbed hold of a notch and pulled himself up a ways and then repeated until he was safe in the tree, away from anyone’s reach or sight. He pulled himself up one last time … [view original content]
Chapter 1: Trauma. - Part 2: Hidden and Scared.
The Countryside.
The boy siffled and wiped away several tears remaining in his eyes. H… moreow had things gotten so awful, so bad, so quickly… Times had not only changed, but did so in devastating way, leaving them in a world forgotten.
He left the motel behind and had been walking down the road with sometime, but at that point, it dawned on him the nature of this area and the people who inhabited it. But worse of all, it was growing dark and he was out in the open, he had nowhere to hide, to rest, to sleep! He began to panic as he stood on the small paved road with no shelter from the elements, but the trees that dotted the landscape...they would have to do.
Quick to run towards one of the larger trees in the woods, he grabbed hold of a notch and pulled himself up a ways and then repeated until he was safe in the tree, away from anyone’s reach or sight. He pulled himself up one last time … [view original content]
Nothing's a little much when you're a teenager alone in the world of dead people and the people who are alive are assholes or looking for revenge or something else
Nothing's a little much when you're a teenager alone in the world of dead people and the people who are alive are assholes or looking for revenge or something else
Chapter 1: Trauma. - Part 2: Hidden and Scared.
The Countryside.
The boy siffled and wiped away several tears remaining in his eyes. H… moreow had things gotten so awful, so bad, so quickly… Times had not only changed, but did so in devastating way, leaving them in a world forgotten.
He left the motel behind and had been walking down the road with sometime, but at that point, it dawned on him the nature of this area and the people who inhabited it. But worse of all, it was growing dark and he was out in the open, he had nowhere to hide, to rest, to sleep! He began to panic as he stood on the small paved road with no shelter from the elements, but the trees that dotted the landscape...they would have to do.
Quick to run towards one of the larger trees in the woods, he grabbed hold of a notch and pulled himself up a ways and then repeated until he was safe in the tree, away from anyone’s reach or sight. He pulled himself up one last time … [view original content]
Comments
I do want to expand on the relationships, but as you said, it can lead to some very awkward moments. Though I don't think there will be any hardcore sex scenes, I do have some relationships in mind and I plan to expand on a few existing ones as well!
Oh and it may be a little early to tell, but I think Vincent Hale might have a spot within the new PoV. So expect him to appear sooner of later!
Monument - Episode Two - Marching Band.
Chapter One: Trauma. - Part One: The Lost.
“F-f-fuck,” the boy stuttered with a huff as he rested his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath.
The roamers were near him and approaching from most directions as his eyes darted back and forth for some place safe. He had a bearing as he joulted towards a schools bus blocking the small paved road while sitting on it’s side. The boy struggled and soon climbed on the bus’ side, finally giving him a chance to get his bearings straightened out.
His eyes widened with shock as he look through the windows of the bus, his slight meeting that of a small dead student trapped in the bus. It came to his attention the bus was loaded with young children who all seemed interested in him as they dragged their feet towards him. “Ugh…” the boy scoffed in disgust, uncomfortable with his situation, but safe nonetheless.
He wore tattered jeans and a jacket, both of dark coloring. He was young, but still in his early teenage years, possessing dark brown hair and hazel eyes. He shuffled his mud stained sneakers over the bus’ side as he neared the edge, peering over at the roamers and walkers, whatever people seemed to name them. It was scary, they had names once too. Simplar to his own, but different and unique, although forgotten.
The boy let out a loud and annoyed sigh as he stepped away from the edge of the bus and took in his surroundings. It was small road, paved with dark asphalt. Dead grass surrounded the place, along with several signs dotting the road at different lengths. He looked up to get a sense of time, being greeted by the bright sun’s orange light. It was almost centered above him in the sly. A sudden memory of the times in school shot through his mind, he wish they had taught him to survive, to hunt, to fish, anything that could help him now. The knowledge of math proved useless in these times.
The sound of the dead banging on the bus made him joult back into the reality as he looked at them once more, they moaned and groaned for attention, trying to meaninglessly kill him. It lacked purpose. Why did it want to eat him? Why was that all it knew? He wish for answers more then anything.
Days seemed long and tiring. The roaming dead didn’t help when he was tired and hungry all the time. When he tried to think of it, he couldn’t think of the last time he had his fill, it probably was the day it started, but that had to have been several weeks ago.
He raised his arms on a impulse and looked at the walkers clawing at him, but just out of reach. He held out both his arms and stood like a cross as he thought deeply. He didn’t know anymore, he didn’t see a point.
The boy closed his eyes tightly and tried to lean forward, but his body refused out of fear. His legs shook as he set down with teary eyes. He kept them closed, he didn’t want to open them. No weapons, no supplies, why did he run away?
He wish he had his mother most of all. She could tell him it would be alright, that there was hope, even though it was long gone. The words would’ve been enough for him. “I miss it all,” the boy thought aloud while his expression formed a frown, “I miss the normal days. Even the bad ones. They were better than this…” He lowered his upper body onto the bus and lay down, closing his eyes.
Deep in thought, he lay silently as the dead continued their pitiful game of banging on the bus. His eyes, currently close tightly, shot open at the loud sound of a gunshot. He jumped up and looked around, several walkers still banged at the bus, plus the one’s inside of the thing. BUt a flock of birds retreated from the treeline as the shot ringed through the air. The boy looked up, then chocked his head back to look at the sun; about two or three hours had to have passed based on the position of the sun. He could have sworn he had just closed his eyes minutes ago.
But not seconds had passed before a second shot ringed through the boy’s ears. This time he got a good bearing and hopped up, looking down at the walkers below him as he sighed and jumped down, then quickly ran past them.
He was fast and quick in general, but with the lack endurance due to the lack of food. He couldn’t think to bring anything with him? Sure he was low on time, but he could have grabbed something helpful. Now all he had was the cloths on his back, and even those were ripped and stained.
As he grew closer to the source of the gunshot, he thought of something; what if they were bad people? He had no way to know, then no way to fight back. Rumors go around fast, he had heard from several folk passing through the area that the land around here was homed to monstrous people. He had been only careful up until he got that news, but now he had to be extra careful, almost paranoid to avoid these people.
“Fuck ‘em,” the young boy muttered under his breath as he approached a motel at the side of the road. He didn’t have to confront them, but just get a good look at them and size them up.
The sound of voices echoed through the air, though soft at this distance, they probably shouting. “--That’s fucked up, even for us!” He could finally hear what they were saying clearly, as he hid behind a… It looked like some kind of concession stand, maybe tacos. It had a folded porch on it’s side that face him as he hid behind the truck and it’s trailer. He peeked over the truck’s hood and got a good look at the people, two men, both armed with pistols as they stood over something at the second story of the motel, but it was out of his field of view.
“--Well grab the gun and take it with us,” one said in reply, “we can leave IT here. Besides, the mom’s bit, she won’t do.”
“Fine. But do want to put it down?” The other questioned as he pulled out his pistol from his jacket.
“No, don’t waste the bullet. Let’s goin’ before the dead come out,” the stranger answered as he stepped away from whatever it was they were standing over and started walking towards the stairwell down to the ground.
The boy slowed his breathing and tried to remain calm as he watched the group of two walked down to the small parking lot and ducked his head down to keep out of sight. To his benefit it payed out and he remained hidden as the two walked onto the road and didn’t even get a glance at him.
“Idiots,” the boy hissed softly as he left his hiding spot and approached the motel. Were those the people to be feared? They didn’t seem like much to the boy. What was it they were looking at and talking about?
“Oh...sonofabitch…” he mumbled as he reached the top of the stairs and listened to the quiet but fierce sound of crying. There was a body, propped against the outside wall of the motel, blood seemed to have splattered on it and it’s surroundings.
A gruesome sight, indeed. A middle aged woman leaned sideways over her own shoulder with a bloody hole in her head, going from her left temple to all the way out on the other side. But the more shocking fact of the situation was the baby laying next to it’s mother.
The body was crying and had the mother’s blood peppering it’s face, but gruesomely worse…a bloody spot on the baby’s forehead, it was shot too, but remained alive...
It was all too clear of what happened, the mother had killed herself, but before that, she tried to kill the baby, but failed to realize it before offing herself. Why? Why did she do this...was it too avoid those people? There was a bloodied bit taken out of the woman. So she was bitten as well? But there was no need to let it suffer anymore than it already had.
The boy placed his hand over the baby’s mouth and whispered softly with tears falling to the flooring. “God save us…”
Kiss The Sky
To be continued...
Intriguing.
I assume this might be Keith?
This character's name is actually Zayne, but I left it out since it didn't really come up within the story.
All right, good to know.
Shit...
Yep...
Zayne pls don't kill the child. That's not okay.
You know what I liked the most in this part? I wasn't even close to having a heart-attack, induced by anger and fear, while reading it...
In all seriousness, this was a great start for the new episode! I'm excited for this storyline and look forward to learn how it connects with other storylines in the future.
I hope you can continue to say that as it worsens in hope and morality ^-^
I'm glad to hear it, it was diffidently dark, and that particular storyline will be particularly dark...
Probably not. The moment the Harvest Hills group returns will be the moment my Zen-like bliss will be gone, replaced by the familiar feeling of sitting on the edge of my seat and waking up in the middle of the night, checking if there might be a new part.
Trust me, the one good thing that came out of my far too active mind in the last episode is that it probably started to prepare me for particularly dark stuff. Which means, I am not ready, I am not ready at all for this episode. But I could be less ready!
That's the spirit!
Who was your favorite character?
In this chapter I liked Christian and Atlanta the most. Jerry had some good scenes but he starts to get a bit boring in my opinion. In the whole episode I liked Atlanta, Josie and Stan the most.
Who was your least favorite character?
Zafir
Who was your most hated character?
Zafir again
What did you think about the final?
It was very cool and unexpected! I havent thought that Zafir just lets them go or that Josie and Lindsay escaped indeed
What would you change about the final and/or episode 1?
Nothing! Maybe, like Supersagig and LiquidChicagoTed said there was a lot of Jerry focus over the other group members but I think this was necessary in this episode. But it should change in future episodes or else Jerry could end up like Daryl from the show, who takes too much focus away from the others and becomes annoying because of this
Who do you want to die next?
I hate Zafir but he is an interesting villain, so maybe Jake or Clarice should die first. If I have to choose someone from the Harvest Hills group I would choose Jerry because I want to learn more about the rest
Who to you think might die next?
Maybe one from the Harvest Hills group but I have no idea who, or a new character from the new POV. I kind of hope it will be Jerry before he gets too boring
What do you want to see/happen in the next episode?
Maybe the group either repairing Harvest Hills and starting to build their own community, or leaving in search of a new hideout
What's your opinion on Zafir now?
He is not as evil as I thought he would be. Like LiquidChicagoTed I had a very bad opinion on him and thought he was capable of everything but he surprised me. I still dont like him, because he kidnapped the group and forced them into slavery, so I think he is still a pretty evil guy and I hate him
What did you think of Josie and Lindsay's return?
Loved it! I liked Josie in the first two chapters and hoped for her survival and we have barely seen Lindsay, so I am happy that both of them are okay. I hope we learn more about them and how they escaped from the mall
What do you think will happen next?
There will be trouble with the mall group. Maybe they can settle it peacefully but I think especially Clarice will want revenge on Jerry
How will the meth group react to having their mall burnt down?
Not good. I said it above, I think there will be trouble and Zafir and Clarice will maybe try to kill Jerry
Themes you would like to see?
Like Upshaw and imighthavebrokenit said, I would like romance, and also dire situations but with a bit of hope at the end
Events you would like to see?
Maybe the building of a community either in Harvest Hills or somewhere else and more of the other Harvest Hills characters and their backstory
What are your overall thoughts on the writing?
Amazing! I think you are the best writer I have seen here so far!
Thank you! You took the words that I couldn't even process and jotted them down!
Clay Davis and I agree on this one.
YAY MY ZAYNE AND HOPE
AWESOME CHAPTER AMD START FOR THE EPISODE!!!
Chapter 1: Trauma. - Part 2: Hidden and Scared.
The Countryside.
The boy siffled and wiped away several tears remaining in his eyes. How had things gotten so awful, so bad, so quickly… Times had not only changed, but did so in devastating way, leaving them in a world forgotten.
He left the motel behind and had been walking down the road with sometime, but at that point, it dawned on him the nature of this area and the people who inhabited it. But worse of all, it was growing dark and he was out in the open, he had nowhere to hide, to rest, to sleep! He began to panic as he stood on the small paved road with no shelter from the elements, but the trees that dotted the landscape...they would have to do.
Quick to run towards one of the larger trees in the woods, he grabbed hold of a notch and pulled himself up a ways and then repeated until he was safe in the tree, away from anyone’s reach or sight. He pulled himself up one last time and poked his head out of the upper branches. It would have been an amazing view if it hadn’t been for the lights that danced on the horizon.
A scary sight indeed.
The lights were probably manned by people as they combed the woods for something, or someone. They were likely the sort of people to kidnap you and take you into a truck and bring you to god knows where. But above all things to fear about them at that time was the fact they were steadily approaching.
The revelation came somewhat late to the boy, “oh shit…” he mumble to himself as he straightened his back and watched the light show. Lucky for him they were not only moving slowly, but were still a great distance away. He quietly remained in the tree, unable to catch a nights rest by the fear that beheld him.
The sun set as he watched the lights move along the land, keeping up pace with one another as they thankfully passed towards the far left of the boy’s tree, not one even getting close.
It was a lucky break in the sea of horrible luck. Once the danger had clearly passed, he let out a tired breath, “sonofabitch…” he exclaimed with a yawn as he rest his head on the limb and put his weight on it, he relaxed his muscles his eyelids drifted shut.
“What-- What are you doing?!” He himself cried, looking into the canvas tent.
“Calm the fuck do-- Fuck it... “ The man tried to calm him, stepping away from the dead body he had just choked out.
"Don’t get near me--” He stuttered as he backed away and tripping, causing him to land on his back.
“Ahh!” The voice gargled, choking on it’s own blood as the once-thought-dead zombified girl bit into the man’s neck.
“You’re a monster!” He screamed as he picked himself up and ran away fast.
“Calime?!” He exclaimed as he neared the young woman, “we need to go, grab everything you need and leave behind anything that doesn’t matter!”
“Are you sure this is a good place to set up camp?”
“It’s as good as any other...” he sighed while putting up the small canvas tent.
“There, all done,” she finished, climbing inside the tent, “cosey…”
“I’m going to the crick, I’ll be back in-- probably half an hour…” He left without waiting for a reply.
He stood at a small river, water steadily trickling down the rocks and pebbles to what had to have been a larger body of water. But he just stood staring at it with his black jacket and blue jeans blowing in the wind while his dark brown hair did the same, not once looking away. “Zayne!” She cried, “Zayne!” A young female voice bellowed, causing him to frantically turn towards the screams.
He ran faster than he had ever ran before, but it was too late. Three of the monstrous roamers happened upon their unprotected campsite. They tore at the tent where the young woman hid, ripping it and knocking it over as she screamed inside.
No matter how he approached the problem, they ripped into the tent, and her… He rushed forward and try as he must, he couldn’t save her. “Ahhhhh!” The screams pierced his ears as he fell to the ground in tears.
“Ah!” He jumped up with tears in his eyes and a horrified expression. The jolut of his sudden movement caused him to almost fall completely off the tree limb he lay on, but as he fell, he briefly caught hold of the branch and held on as tightly as he could. Throwing his elbows over it and dangling there helplessly. He shot his line of sight towards the ground, it was a distance, but it couldn’t have been more than 10 feet with several branches that might cause painful impact during the fall down, not to mention the impact itself.
[Pull himself up with the little strength he possesses.]
[Drop down and hope for the best.]
I just want to explain myself a tad bit. I'm stepping away from the Harvest Hills group for just a little while, but they'll be back before you know it
I'm planning to have them on the same part, side by side with the other PoV very soon.
[Drop down and hope for the best.]
Kobe.
[Pull himself up with the little strength he possesses.]
I assume he can still drop down if he finds out he doesn't have enough strength to pull himself up. I mean, in that case down is the only way to go either way. I don't think simply dropping down will end well.
Since he's currently weak from the lack of feed, water, sleep, etc, it could prove challenging and maybe even harmful.
And of course, allowing himself to fall could prove ever more dangerous.
The basketball player? XD
My cardiologist would like to kindly thank you for the temporary break from Harvest Hills. I enjoy this new PoV, but I also have to say that I am looking forward for their return after that episode finale gave my brain something close to a bluescreen.
True, it sounds like he is in trouble regardless of what choice he takes. But I guess the fall is the most dangerous here and avoiding it should be his goal right now. And if he succeeds he might end up not breaking his legs or worse.
Well, tell your cardiologist to keep a watchful eye on you once we do return to Harvest Hills
Oh and I'm glad you're enjoying the new point of view. In just a little while longer then will be more characters introduced in it
And possibly some more stuff...I plan to reveal sooner or later...
Fair point, indeed
[Drop down and hope for the best.]
2
Indirecting Zafir, Jake, Jordan, Christian, and anyone else who was involved in the kidnapping I see...
[Drop down and hope for the best.]
Worse then that, sadly...
Could you be foreshadowing something for Zayne in the future?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nn2x-hg4Kdo
Some old guy throwing a kid to the back of a van? yeah you don't have to be Horatio Caine to know what he's planning on doing with him.
Drop down and hope for the best.]
That's a little much.
[Drop down and hope for the best]
Why not? Falling seems like a Great idea.
Great chapter!
Nothing's a little much when you're a teenager alone in the world of dead people and the people who are alive are assholes or looking for revenge or something else
Well...fair point...
[Drop down and hope for the best.]
Maybe he can fall saver if he plans it.
There's always the slim chance that someone has their morals straight and their thoughts in the right place but they wouldn't make it that long