I was only 9 years old...
I loved Handsome Jack so much...
I pray to Handsome Jack every night, thankful for the loot I have been given
"Handsome Jack is love" I say, "Handsome Jack is life"
My Dad hears me and calls me a bandit
He is obviously jealous of my devotion to Handsome Jack
I called him a psycho
He slaps me with his buzz axe and drags me to my room
I am crying now, because my face is gashed
I go into my bed and it is very hot
I feel a very cold presence moving toward me
I feel something touch me
It's Jack
I am so happy
He screams in my ear "GET OVER HERE"
He grabs me with his non-hologram hands and forces me to stand
I'm ready
I reveal my face for Handsome Jack
He puts his mask on my face
I hurts so much, but I do it for Jack
I can feel my face-gash tearing as he presses the mask harder
I push against his force
I want to proove myself to Jack
He screams and calls me an idiot as he clamps the mask in place
My dad walks in
Handsome Jack looks him deep in the eyes and says, "We should all love our parents, but love me more"
Handsome Jack digistructs through my window.
Handsome Jack is love, Handsome Jack is life
Comments
Pls no.
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Oh damn I just got it
?
I knew what this was when I saw the title. Is there something wrong with me ?
My masterpiece, is complete.
oh bby, such a bootiful luv story
[!] Not creepy at all...
I laughed way too hard.
What is this shit, nice story anyways.
I just read the title and knew it was going to be horrific
Jeez, who told Professor Nakayama about this forum?
Here's a drinking game for you guys; take a shot whenever you spot a dead meme on the forums.
Hate to break it to you buds, but i'm pretty sure Handsome Jack just molested you......
Want a lift to the hospital for a rape kit?
Now this is quality content I expected to see.
Nah, he'll need one of these:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o92M92omEH0
Yikes, thats a pretty dark baby shower.
Complements to things like these are NEVER un-funny.
do I even want to know why...
not a dead meme at all
Nice Copy+Paste skills.
What, you take a 4Chan copypasta and replace Shrek with Handsome Jack instead of our Lord and Savior Loader Bot? This I can't allow.
#LoaderBros