Trust me, you do NOT regret that. Between the deaths of most of the group and the continued unknown status of Josephine, you would've regret… moreted that the moment I closed the voting and posted a not-so-witty comment teasing the incoming deaths. This gave me an idea... maybe expanding on the alternate endings
So Jerry would have died huh?
I wanted to know something... As I make the transition from the written story to a script, would you like me to post it? It'll most likely be a very polished version of what's already posted here and possibly different from what's written here, and or course, formatted as a scrip.
Chapter 3: “Sin” - Part 2
Josephine
“Get in the RV.” Josephine ordered to Atlanta, Ashley and Daniel as they walked by her. “Jerry has… more already flushed out the dead hiding in it.”
“Josie…” Ashley spoke up as she directed Daniel towards Atlanta and the RV. “So… Gone, just like that?” She said worryingly.
“Yeah…” Josephine sighed. “In the night. Poof. Gone. I’ve talked to Jerry about looking in the woods for him. I think he might have wandered off… If not that…”
“Well?” Ashley exclaimed. “Are we gonna look for him?”
“I don’t know. “ Josephine frowned. “We haven’t decided.” She began walking off to avoid further conversation. Ashley remained where she stood, a somewhat shocked expression etched on her face.
“C’mon, Ashley.” Atlanta called from the RV.
“I’m coming!” Ashley replied and quickly entered the RV. As Jordan exited the rest stop behind her, Josephine approached her.
“You heard about Christian going missing?” Sh… [view original content]
Chapter 3: “Sin” - Part 2
Josephine
“Get in the RV.” Josephine ordered to Atlanta, Ashley and Daniel as they walked by her. “Jerry has… more already flushed out the dead hiding in it.”
“Josie…” Ashley spoke up as she directed Daniel towards Atlanta and the RV. “So… Gone, just like that?” She said worryingly.
“Yeah…” Josephine sighed. “In the night. Poof. Gone. I’ve talked to Jerry about looking in the woods for him. I think he might have wandered off… If not that…”
“Well?” Ashley exclaimed. “Are we gonna look for him?”
“I don’t know. “ Josephine frowned. “We haven’t decided.” She began walking off to avoid further conversation. Ashley remained where she stood, a somewhat shocked expression etched on her face.
“C’mon, Ashley.” Atlanta called from the RV.
“I’m coming!” Ashley replied and quickly entered the RV. As Jordan exited the rest stop behind her, Josephine approached her.
“You heard about Christian going missing?” Sh… [view original content]
I wanted to know something... As I make the transition from the written story to a script, would you like me to post it? It'll most likely b… moree a very polished version of what's already posted here and possibly different from what's written here, and or course, formatted as a scrip.
Chapter 3: “Sin” - Part 2
Josephine
“Get in the RV.” Josephine ordered to Atlanta, Ashley and Daniel as they walked by her. “Jerry has… more already flushed out the dead hiding in it.”
“Josie…” Ashley spoke up as she directed Daniel towards Atlanta and the RV. “So… Gone, just like that?” She said worryingly.
“Yeah…” Josephine sighed. “In the night. Poof. Gone. I’ve talked to Jerry about looking in the woods for him. I think he might have wandered off… If not that…”
“Well?” Ashley exclaimed. “Are we gonna look for him?”
“I don’t know. “ Josephine frowned. “We haven’t decided.” She began walking off to avoid further conversation. Ashley remained where she stood, a somewhat shocked expression etched on her face.
“C’mon, Ashley.” Atlanta called from the RV.
“I’m coming!” Ashley replied and quickly entered the RV. As Jordan exited the rest stop behind her, Josephine approached her.
“You heard about Christian going missing?” Sh… [view original content]
Yes! I have been planning to expand the screen time of Josie, Ashley, and I'm also thinking of stuff for Daniel
Excellent, very excellent
Trust me, you do NOT regret that.
Well, Josie's fate might have been revealed, but now she's being hunted by a group of deranged monsters, so there is a lot of potential for future regret. At least with the other option she would have been safe and still hanging out with Lindsay and Keith. Albeit the death of most of the group would have been horrible indeed... I guess I am not sure if I really regret it. Should Josie be killed or worse by Zafir and his fucking bloodhounds I will certainly regret sparing him, but I'll see what future parts will bring.
maybe expanding the alternate endings
Oh yes, that sounds interesting. I'd be very interested to see how some of the alternate choices would have played out.
Ah, a Josie part! I like this a lot
Yes! I have been planning to expand the screen time of Josie, Ashley, and I'm also thinking of … morestuff for Daniel
I'm telling you, I already regret not shooting Zafir at the end of Chapter 5 and I guess I will soon regret it even more.
Trust me, you do NOT regret that. Between the deaths of most of the group and the continued unknown status of Josephine, you would've regretted that the moment I closed the voting and posted a not-so-witty comment teasing the incoming deaths. This gave me an idea... maybe expanding the alternate endings
At least with the other option she would have been safe and still hanging out with Lindsay and Keith.
Well, you wouldn't have known if you choose that option. Josie, Lindsay, and I guess Keith, would've all be completely unknown. You may have the reassurance that they're okay now, but you wouldn't have learned what happened to them. You wouldn't know their fates >:3
Yes! I have been planning to expand the screen time of Josie, Ashley, and I'm also thinking of stuff for Daniel
Excellent, very exc… moreellent
Trust me, you do NOT regret that.
Well, Josie's fate might have been revealed, but now she's being hunted by a group of deranged monsters, so there is a lot of potential for future regret. At least with the other option she would have been safe and still hanging out with Lindsay and Keith. Albeit the death of most of the group would have been horrible indeed... I guess I am not sure if I really regret it. Should Josie be killed or worse by Zafir and his fucking bloodhounds I will certainly regret sparing him, but I'll see what future parts will bring.
maybe expanding the alternate endings
Oh yes, that sounds interesting. I'd be very interested to see how some of the alternate choices would have played out.
So, they would have dropped completely from the storyline, or would they have reappeared later? I guess I suddenly regret sparing Zafir a lot less, at least for now.
At least with the other option she would have been safe and still hanging out with Lindsay and Keith.
Well, you wouldn't have known … moreif you choose that option. Josie, Lindsay, and I guess Keith, would've all be completely unknown. You may have the reassurance that they're okay now, but you wouldn't have learned what happened to them. You wouldn't know their fates >:3
I was pretty early in the planning of that outcome. So, it's pretty unclear if they would've appeared at some point, but you would have been left hanging for a long time.
It's safe to say... things are changing... new characters that weren't in the original story, different outcomes, and sadder, more realistic storytelling. That's what I hope to bring to the film version.
Things are going to get interesting, if it ever happens.
So, they would have dropped completely from the storyline, or would they have reappeared later? I guess I suddenly regret sparing Zafir a lot less, at least for now.
Chapter 3: “Sin” - Part 2
Josephine
“Get in the RV.” Josephine ordered to Atlanta, Ashley and Daniel as they walked by her. “Jerry has… more already flushed out the dead hiding in it.”
“Josie…” Ashley spoke up as she directed Daniel towards Atlanta and the RV. “So… Gone, just like that?” She said worryingly.
“Yeah…” Josephine sighed. “In the night. Poof. Gone. I’ve talked to Jerry about looking in the woods for him. I think he might have wandered off… If not that…”
“Well?” Ashley exclaimed. “Are we gonna look for him?”
“I don’t know. “ Josephine frowned. “We haven’t decided.” She began walking off to avoid further conversation. Ashley remained where she stood, a somewhat shocked expression etched on her face.
“C’mon, Ashley.” Atlanta called from the RV.
“I’m coming!” Ashley replied and quickly entered the RV. As Jordan exited the rest stop behind her, Josephine approached her.
“You heard about Christian going missing?” Sh… [view original content]
Chapter 3: “Sin” - Part 2
Josephine
“Get in the RV.” Josephine ordered to Atlanta, Ashley and Daniel as they walked by her. “Jerry has… more already flushed out the dead hiding in it.”
“Josie…” Ashley spoke up as she directed Daniel towards Atlanta and the RV. “So… Gone, just like that?” She said worryingly.
“Yeah…” Josephine sighed. “In the night. Poof. Gone. I’ve talked to Jerry about looking in the woods for him. I think he might have wandered off… If not that…”
“Well?” Ashley exclaimed. “Are we gonna look for him?”
“I don’t know. “ Josephine frowned. “We haven’t decided.” She began walking off to avoid further conversation. Ashley remained where she stood, a somewhat shocked expression etched on her face.
“C’mon, Ashley.” Atlanta called from the RV.
“I’m coming!” Ashley replied and quickly entered the RV. As Jordan exited the rest stop behind her, Josephine approached her.
“You heard about Christian going missing?” Sh… [view original content]
Chapter 3: “Sin” - Part 2
Josephine
“Get in the RV.” Josephine ordered to Atlanta, Ashley and Daniel as they walked by her. “Jerry has… more already flushed out the dead hiding in it.”
“Josie…” Ashley spoke up as she directed Daniel towards Atlanta and the RV. “So… Gone, just like that?” She said worryingly.
“Yeah…” Josephine sighed. “In the night. Poof. Gone. I’ve talked to Jerry about looking in the woods for him. I think he might have wandered off… If not that…”
“Well?” Ashley exclaimed. “Are we gonna look for him?”
“I don’t know. “ Josephine frowned. “We haven’t decided.” She began walking off to avoid further conversation. Ashley remained where she stood, a somewhat shocked expression etched on her face.
“C’mon, Ashley.” Atlanta called from the RV.
“I’m coming!” Ashley replied and quickly entered the RV. As Jordan exited the rest stop behind her, Josephine approached her.
“You heard about Christian going missing?” Sh… [view original content]
Vincent frantically stood up and watched with wide eyes as the truck drove away. “Fuck…” He muttered as he stared at the retracting truck with Zayne hiding inside.
“Fuck!” Vincent exclaimed loudly as he began running down the hill with his rifle held tightly in his arms. His face echoed a feeling of dread as he soon stood over the bloodied snow that cradled the corpse of a man whose face was almost completely hidden by the newly made cavity in his forehead.
Oddly enough, Vincent felt pity for the dead man, despite his clear intentions. It wasn’t the first time he has seen someone die. Especially in the apocalypse, where he had seen many people die. The first came to mind quickly, almost too easily.
After all this time, he thought it would have become easy to simply brush it off. He reached down to the corpse and began rummaging through his pockets. It felt wrong, looting a dead human being. But anything that could help lead him closer to finding Zayne was a god send, and shouldn’t be thrown away to preserve some moral code that extended to letting the dead rest peacefully, without someone turning out their pockets.
A wallet. Not much, but it could help. A postcard was folded inside of it. The colorful picture read out ‘Greetings from Laredo, Texas.’
Useless. Vincent tossed it aside and placed the palm of his hand over his face. He looked through his fingers and at the pistol lying in the snow by the man. Vincent frustratedly grabbed the pistol and held it to his side as he rose from the ground.
He had no supplies. All he had was the rifle over his shoulder and the pistol in his hand, then the cloths on his back. No time to go back to his cabin and gather supplies, because the trail would go cold.
A dead cold trail meant he wouldn’t be able to follow the truck.
His warm breath met the cold air as he exhaled loudly. “Fuck me.” He muttered with his breath, and began walking forward, towards the direction the truck left in.
Zayne Pattinson
Zayne and the man set in the pickup bed as it rolled across the landscape with great speed, continually hitting bumps and swerving caused Zanye to grab hold of the side of the truck.
“Mph!” The man exclaimed as he threw back his head and the gag covering his mouth.
He quickly reached for the large knot and untied it. It feel to the pickup bed and the man spent a second moving his mouth around to regain the feeling in it. “Well, thanks.” He muttered with a grateful tone.
Zayne remained silent as they set in the pickup bed. “Um…” He spoke awkwardly before falling silent again.
“Oh, I’m Thomas. Rooster Thomas. Odd name, I’m sure, but you get used to it.” He narrowed his eyes. “Who are you, exactly? Oh, and could you untie the bindings on my wrists?”
“Zayne.” He replied with piercing, almost judgmental eyes. “And… I’m not sure if I can do that. Not yet at least.”
“What?” Rooster exclaimed. “C’mon, please?” He asked a second time.
“I don’t know you.” Zayne answered. “There’s a lot of bad people out there, how can i be sure you won’t just turn out to be one of them?”
“Ugh…” Rooster mumbled with confusion. “How the hell am I supposed to prove that? Just untie me I promise I won’t go on a ape shit killin’ spree.”
“Fuck...” Zayne muttered and reached into his backpack for a knife. “Give me a second.” He added as he dug through his supplies. He pulled out the knife and held it tightly in his hand. “Now… you promise?”
“Yes.” He swore. “On my heart and hope to die, I won’t hunt you.” His eyes possessed a sincere look, but as Zayne remained still, the man’s face grew disappointed. “I don’t know what to tell ya.” He sighed. “I can’t prove something like that with a phrase or a snap of the wrist. You’ve gotta listen to me; I ain’t a bad person.”
Chapter 3: “Sin" - Part 3
Vincent Hale
Vincent frantically stood up and watched with wide eyes as the truck drove away. “Fuck…” He mut… moretered as he stared at the retracting truck with Zayne hiding inside.
“Fuck!” Vincent exclaimed loudly as he began running down the hill with his rifle held tightly in his arms. His face echoed a feeling of dread as he soon stood over the bloodied snow that cradled the corpse of a man whose face was almost completely hidden by the newly made cavity in his forehead.
Oddly enough, Vincent felt pity for the dead man, despite his clear intentions. It wasn’t the first time he has seen someone die. Especially in the apocalypse, where he had seen many people die. The first came to mind quickly, almost too easily.
After all this time, he thought it would have become easy to simply brush it off. He reached down to the corpse and began rummaging through his pockets. It felt wrong, looting a dead human bein… [view original content]
Chapter 3: “Sin" - Part 3
Vincent Hale
Vincent frantically stood up and watched with wide eyes as the truck drove away. “Fuck…” He mut… moretered as he stared at the retracting truck with Zayne hiding inside.
“Fuck!” Vincent exclaimed loudly as he began running down the hill with his rifle held tightly in his arms. His face echoed a feeling of dread as he soon stood over the bloodied snow that cradled the corpse of a man whose face was almost completely hidden by the newly made cavity in his forehead.
Oddly enough, Vincent felt pity for the dead man, despite his clear intentions. It wasn’t the first time he has seen someone die. Especially in the apocalypse, where he had seen many people die. The first came to mind quickly, almost too easily.
After all this time, he thought it would have become easy to simply brush it off. He reached down to the corpse and began rummaging through his pockets. It felt wrong, looting a dead human bein… [view original content]
Chapter 3: “Sin" - Part 3
Vincent Hale
Vincent frantically stood up and watched with wide eyes as the truck drove away. “Fuck…” He mut… moretered as he stared at the retracting truck with Zayne hiding inside.
“Fuck!” Vincent exclaimed loudly as he began running down the hill with his rifle held tightly in his arms. His face echoed a feeling of dread as he soon stood over the bloodied snow that cradled the corpse of a man whose face was almost completely hidden by the newly made cavity in his forehead.
Oddly enough, Vincent felt pity for the dead man, despite his clear intentions. It wasn’t the first time he has seen someone die. Especially in the apocalypse, where he had seen many people die. The first came to mind quickly, almost too easily.
After all this time, he thought it would have become easy to simply brush it off. He reached down to the corpse and began rummaging through his pockets. It felt wrong, looting a dead human bein… [view original content]
I think at least in this situation he should be trusted. Maybe he turns out to be not a good guy afterwrads, but at least for the moment he could be an ally.
Chapter 3: “Sin" - Part 3
Vincent Hale
Vincent frantically stood up and watched with wide eyes as the truck drove away. “Fuck…” He mut… moretered as he stared at the retracting truck with Zayne hiding inside.
“Fuck!” Vincent exclaimed loudly as he began running down the hill with his rifle held tightly in his arms. His face echoed a feeling of dread as he soon stood over the bloodied snow that cradled the corpse of a man whose face was almost completely hidden by the newly made cavity in his forehead.
Oddly enough, Vincent felt pity for the dead man, despite his clear intentions. It wasn’t the first time he has seen someone die. Especially in the apocalypse, where he had seen many people die. The first came to mind quickly, almost too easily.
After all this time, he thought it would have become easy to simply brush it off. He reached down to the corpse and began rummaging through his pockets. It felt wrong, looting a dead human bein… [view original content]
Chapter 3: “Sin" - Part 3
Vincent Hale
Vincent frantically stood up and watched with wide eyes as the truck drove away. “Fuck…” He mut… moretered as he stared at the retracting truck with Zayne hiding inside.
“Fuck!” Vincent exclaimed loudly as he began running down the hill with his rifle held tightly in his arms. His face echoed a feeling of dread as he soon stood over the bloodied snow that cradled the corpse of a man whose face was almost completely hidden by the newly made cavity in his forehead.
Oddly enough, Vincent felt pity for the dead man, despite his clear intentions. It wasn’t the first time he has seen someone die. Especially in the apocalypse, where he had seen many people die. The first came to mind quickly, almost too easily.
After all this time, he thought it would have become easy to simply brush it off. He reached down to the corpse and began rummaging through his pockets. It felt wrong, looting a dead human bein… [view original content]
Chapter 3: “Sin" - Part 3
Vincent Hale
Vincent frantically stood up and watched with wide eyes as the truck drove away. “Fuck…” He mut… moretered as he stared at the retracting truck with Zayne hiding inside.
“Fuck!” Vincent exclaimed loudly as he began running down the hill with his rifle held tightly in his arms. His face echoed a feeling of dread as he soon stood over the bloodied snow that cradled the corpse of a man whose face was almost completely hidden by the newly made cavity in his forehead.
Oddly enough, Vincent felt pity for the dead man, despite his clear intentions. It wasn’t the first time he has seen someone die. Especially in the apocalypse, where he had seen many people die. The first came to mind quickly, almost too easily.
After all this time, he thought it would have become easy to simply brush it off. He reached down to the corpse and began rummaging through his pockets. It felt wrong, looting a dead human bein… [view original content]
Chapter 3: “Sin" - Part 3
Vincent Hale
Vincent frantically stood up and watched with wide eyes as the truck drove away. “Fuck…” He mut… moretered as he stared at the retracting truck with Zayne hiding inside.
“Fuck!” Vincent exclaimed loudly as he began running down the hill with his rifle held tightly in his arms. His face echoed a feeling of dread as he soon stood over the bloodied snow that cradled the corpse of a man whose face was almost completely hidden by the newly made cavity in his forehead.
Oddly enough, Vincent felt pity for the dead man, despite his clear intentions. It wasn’t the first time he has seen someone die. Especially in the apocalypse, where he had seen many people die. The first came to mind quickly, almost too easily.
After all this time, he thought it would have become easy to simply brush it off. He reached down to the corpse and began rummaging through his pockets. It felt wrong, looting a dead human bein… [view original content]
Chapter 3: “Sin" - Part 3
Vincent Hale
Vincent frantically stood up and watched with wide eyes as the truck drove away. “Fuck…” He mut… moretered as he stared at the retracting truck with Zayne hiding inside.
“Fuck!” Vincent exclaimed loudly as he began running down the hill with his rifle held tightly in his arms. His face echoed a feeling of dread as he soon stood over the bloodied snow that cradled the corpse of a man whose face was almost completely hidden by the newly made cavity in his forehead.
Oddly enough, Vincent felt pity for the dead man, despite his clear intentions. It wasn’t the first time he has seen someone die. Especially in the apocalypse, where he had seen many people die. The first came to mind quickly, almost too easily.
After all this time, he thought it would have become easy to simply brush it off. He reached down to the corpse and began rummaging through his pockets. It felt wrong, looting a dead human bein… [view original content]
(!) Zayne will cut off Rooster's bindings to free him
It's not really a major choice. More of a trust choice to affect the relationships of the characters. But it seems Zayne will trust Rooster Thomas, and will likely gain an ally.
So, I've still been rather inactive recently, much to my own disappointment. I want to return, but I just don't know how to continue at this point, I don't know what to do. So I've taken a step forward and have began planning "By Those Beyond." I know I should probably take a step back to figure out how I want to continue, but I'm still lost on that, almost completely. I need to start moving the group towards their destination. I've neglected to tell any of you the Harvest Hills group's heading. I mean... have any of you thought "where are they going?" It's bound to be of some of your minds and I plan to explain that fully very soon.
Expect a drawing of Josephine soon. It's already drawn, but I've yet to take a picture of it, edit it, then upload it to an image hosting website. And also expect the possibly reveal of some of the chapter titles for Act 3 once I have it planned out.
Voting is closed!
(!) Zayne will cut off Rooster's bindings to free him
It's not really a major choice. More of a trust choice to affe… morect the relationships of the characters. But it seems Zayne will trust Rooster Thomas, and will likely gain an ally.
So, I've still been rather inactive recently, much to my own disappointment. I want to return, but I just don't know how to continue at this point, I don't know what to do. So I've taken a step forward and have began planning "By Those Beyond." I know I should probably take a step back to figure out how I want to continue, but I'm still lost on that, almost completely. I need to start moving the group towards their destination. I've neglected to tell any of you the Harvest Hills group's heading. I mean... have any of you thought "where are they going?" It's bound to be of some of your minds and I plan to explain that fully very soon.
Expect a drawing of Josephine soon. It's already dra… [view original content]
So, I've still been rather inactive recently, much to my own disappointment. I want to return, but I just don't know how to continue at this point, I don't know what to do. So I've taken a step forward and have began planning "By Those Beyond." I know I should probably take a step back to figure out how I want to continue, but I'm still lost on that, almost completely.
I know that feeling from my story. Luckily I have a huge amount of PoV's, so nobody ever notices when I'm at a loss of ideas for a singular PoV for a few weeks, but I guess in your case just switching PoV's to Lindsay or Zayne's storyline for a while until you have ideas again could backfire if they advance far more than the Harvest Hills group. So, take your time, I'm sure it'll be for the best. Planning the next Act in the meantime can never be a bad thing, that always helps me too when I'm unsure how to continue.
I mean... have any of you thought "where are they going?"
To be honest, I haven't even thought about that and feel a bit embarrassed now. I am very involved in the groups fate, but all the time I was enthuisiastically reading about their journey I haven't even thought about their destination for once. But I have a guess... Seeing how it was mentioned in Christians flashback and how it would fit with the Chapter 5 title, maybe they are heading for the Rio Grande and want to cross it for some reason?
Josephine said regretfully. “We’ll have to leave. There’s no sense staying...” She bit her lip as Atlanta approached from the RV and joined the conversation. “Atlanta…” Josephine addressed her arrival.
“So…” Atlanta said, “are we leaving or looking?” She asked, disappointedly frowning when Jerry’s eyes met with hers, sharing a common sad look.
“Christian is not coming, we know this.” Jerry claimed as he stepped back towards the RV and the truck. Breaking eye contact with Atlanta, he stopped with his back turned towards the two. “We’re leaving.”
“Right…” Atlanta gloomy replied and followed him, up until she entered the RV and he made his way to the truck parked in front of the camper. Josephine was left alone outside. She regretfully turned one last time to the woods behind her, it was time to move on. Following Atlanta's lead, she entered the RV and shut the door behind her.
Atlanta watched from the back as Josephine sat by Jordan in the front of the RV and forced a smile at Jordan. She awkwardly replied with a forced, sad smirk.
Atlanta brushed off this minor interaction and prayed the two didn’t start talking as they pulled forward and began driving once again. She had witnessed the guilt Jordan had held onto for so long first hand. It wasn’t pretty; it was quite honestly scary.
“Atlanta…” It was Ashley, who spoke with a mildly worried tone, “you’ve seemed distant. I know after what happen last night - that bloodbath - I’ve…” She puffed out a long and sudden sigh. Her vision fell over Daniel, the timid 7-year-old who silently set to the far left of Ashley.
“What’s there to talk about?” Atlanta said, trying to change the topic. “Jordan and I were still awake, we caught the door breaking and we-- she… took care of it.” Atlanta shook her head. “Of course we woke you and Daniel up quick as--”
“Daniel was awake.” Ashley’s words sent a chill down her spine.
“I…” Atlanta stuttered. “I could imagine, it must have been hard to sleep given the situation…” She attempted to avoid the topic.
“Jesus christ.” Ashley exclaimed under hushed words. “Are you trying to bullshit me? I can tell when you’re trying to lie, Atlanta.” She sighed heavily. “Fuck it, look… Daniel has told me… everything.”
“Fuck me…” Atlanta muttered with a depressed tone as she covered her face with her hands. Through her fingers, she looked at Daniel’s sad face, a face of guilt. “What... are you…” She quickly faced Ashley once again with a very worried look. “Ashley, please, don’t bring this up. We can’t let this surface for the whole group’s sake.”
“I know… I know, I know.” Ashley muttered through her teeth. “But we can’t ignore this.” Ashley looked her in the eye. “Think of what might happen if it slips out. If it happens without… without control…” Her vision flitted as her head turned towards Jerry’s trunk.
“Then you’re thinking what I’m thinking.” Atlanta replied, following Ashley’s vision. “Jerry will kill her. Murder her.”
“Yeah, justice at it’s finest.” Ashley remarked.
“You can’t be serious. Jordan is one of us. She has been since we set out to on this godforsaken road.” Atlanta quickly replied. “I won’t let that happen.”
“Of course I’m not serious.” Ashley defended herself. “It was just a comment.” She shook her head. “You seriously think Jerry would do that?” Ashley asked reluctantly.
“You’ve seen him…” Atlanta frowned. “You’ve seen him kill. What should make us think he wouldn’t kill her? He’s been great this last week or so… but you know how he was before. He’ll get worked up. He’ll get mad. He’ll fucking… kill her.”
“We’re almost to Laredo…” Ashley bought up, “we could wait until we get there… but it’s something that needs to be said. We all need to know sooner or later. Dean… Dean was one of US too.”
Atlanta bit her lip. “Ashley. Please, Ashley, just drop this for now.” Ashley spotted the watery eyes of her partner.
“I’m sorry.” Ashley apologized with a sad expression. “I’m sorry…” She repeated as she took Atlanta’s hand and held it in her own.
“I’m sorry, too.” Atlanta finished, tightly gripping her hand. “We’ll get through this.”
To Be Continued...
I'm sorry for the lack of a choice. I'm still out of it when comes to writing and am trying to get back into it. But nonetheless, I hope you enjoyed this brief part, and by all means, feel free to provide some feedback or speculate in general on today's events (it seriously helps when trying to gain back motivation). I hope you all have a lovely night, I'm off to bed.
Chapter 3: “Sin” - Part 4: “I”.
Atlanta Roberts
Josephine said regretfully. “We’ll have to leave. There’s no sense staying...” She bi… moret her lip as Atlanta approached from the RV and joined the conversation. “Atlanta…” Josephine addressed her arrival.
“So…” Atlanta said, “are we leaving or looking?” She asked, disappointedly frowning when Jerry’s eyes met with hers, sharing a common sad look.
“Christian is not coming, we know this.” Jerry claimed as he stepped back towards the RV and the truck. Breaking eye contact with Atlanta, he stopped with his back turned towards the two. “We’re leaving.”
“Right…” Atlanta gloomy replied and followed him, up until she entered the RV and he made his way to the truck parked in front of the camper. Josephine was left alone outside. She regretfully turned one last time to the woods behind her, it was time to move on. Following Atlanta's lead, she entered the RV and shut the door behind her.
A… [view original content]
Great part! I liked the interaction between Ashley and Atlanta here, albeit I have a bad feeling about the state of the group. There are some major problems coming about Jordan. Also, I see that I was apparently right when I speculated that the Rio Grande would have some significange, now that the group is heading to Laredo and likely to Mexico after that.
feel free to provide some feedback or speculate in general on today's events
Well, I'm bad at constructive feedback, but I can say that it was a great part. Josie was in it and she's still fine at the end of the part, so it can't be a bad part, but on top of that it had the first interaction between her and Jordan, as well as a great talk between Ashley and Atlanta, so I liked that a lot
As for speculation: I have a very bad feeling about Josie and Jordan. At this point I'm unsure how exactly Josie will react to the reveal that Jordan is the person responsible for kidnapping her, on top of being the killer of Dean and having helped the people who arguably helped the horde breaking into Harvest Hills, therefore causing the death of Anthony. I think there's not only all sadness and melancholia in Josie, but there has to be a lot of bottled-up anger as well. If Josie thinks as far as I did, that Jordan basically helped the people who caused her brothers death, then Jerry might not be Jordan's biggest problem anymore.
Speaking of Jerry, Atlanta has a good point when she said that Jerry will probably try to kill Jordan. Haven't thought about that. I want at least Josie to learn the truth about Jordan, mainly because I'm very interested in her reaction, but I really hope that Jerry won't learn about it ever. Josie is not irrational and not crazy and maybe she'll spare Jordan's life even if she holds her responsible for Anthony's death. It's a pretty big 'Maybe', but it's the best chance Jordan has at this moment. My opinion on her will depend on Josie's opinion on her, since I'll support Josie completely with whatever action she wants to take against Jordan, wether it'll be forgiving her, not forgiving her, maybe even killing her or just using her signature move of breaking a nose. Jordan is still very ambiguous for me, on the one hand I think she deserves redemption and forgiveness, but part of me thinks she would also deserve a bullet. Writing this down, I somehow have the bad feeling that Josie's reaction could be determined by a choice. In that case, I have no idea what I should pick. Right now I'm more on the forgiving side, but I also think that Josie has every right not to forgive her. In the end, Josie was certainly the one affected the most by Jordan's actions, so she deserves to be the one who ultimately decides in that matter, regardless of what course of action Atlanta, Ashley or Jerry would prefer.
Finally, I have the feeling that the relationship between Ashley and Atlanta could take a turn for the worse over the whole Jordan stuff. Atlanta seems to be more on the forgiving side when it comes to Jordan, while Ashley does not seem to have that much of a problem with killing her. I think especially if Jerry or Josie decide to harm Jordan in any way (and at least a rough beating won't be undeserved), Atlanta and Ashley could get into a huge argument over what cause of action they should support here. Potentially, the group could even fall apart over that decision.
Chapter 3: “Sin” - Part 4: “I”.
Atlanta Roberts
Josephine said regretfully. “We’ll have to leave. There’s no sense staying...” She bi… moret her lip as Atlanta approached from the RV and joined the conversation. “Atlanta…” Josephine addressed her arrival.
“So…” Atlanta said, “are we leaving or looking?” She asked, disappointedly frowning when Jerry’s eyes met with hers, sharing a common sad look.
“Christian is not coming, we know this.” Jerry claimed as he stepped back towards the RV and the truck. Breaking eye contact with Atlanta, he stopped with his back turned towards the two. “We’re leaving.”
“Right…” Atlanta gloomy replied and followed him, up until she entered the RV and he made his way to the truck parked in front of the camper. Josephine was left alone outside. She regretfully turned one last time to the woods behind her, it was time to move on. Following Atlanta's lead, she entered the RV and shut the door behind her.
A… [view original content]
Chapter 3: “Sin” - Part 4: “I”.
Atlanta Roberts
Josephine said regretfully. “We’ll have to leave. There’s no sense staying...” She bi… moret her lip as Atlanta approached from the RV and joined the conversation. “Atlanta…” Josephine addressed her arrival.
“So…” Atlanta said, “are we leaving or looking?” She asked, disappointedly frowning when Jerry’s eyes met with hers, sharing a common sad look.
“Christian is not coming, we know this.” Jerry claimed as he stepped back towards the RV and the truck. Breaking eye contact with Atlanta, he stopped with his back turned towards the two. “We’re leaving.”
“Right…” Atlanta gloomy replied and followed him, up until she entered the RV and he made his way to the truck parked in front of the camper. Josephine was left alone outside. She regretfully turned one last time to the woods behind her, it was time to move on. Following Atlanta's lead, she entered the RV and shut the door behind her.
A… [view original content]
Awesome part! I agree with Liquid that the Jordan situation could be a problem for the whole group. Jerry will probably want to kill her no matter what the group decides and I have no idea how Josephine will react. Maybe she will forgive her but I can also see her reacting worse than Jerry to that.
Chapter 3: “Sin” - Part 4: “I”.
Atlanta Roberts
Josephine said regretfully. “We’ll have to leave. There’s no sense staying...” She bi… moret her lip as Atlanta approached from the RV and joined the conversation. “Atlanta…” Josephine addressed her arrival.
“So…” Atlanta said, “are we leaving or looking?” She asked, disappointedly frowning when Jerry’s eyes met with hers, sharing a common sad look.
“Christian is not coming, we know this.” Jerry claimed as he stepped back towards the RV and the truck. Breaking eye contact with Atlanta, he stopped with his back turned towards the two. “We’re leaving.”
“Right…” Atlanta gloomy replied and followed him, up until she entered the RV and he made his way to the truck parked in front of the camper. Josephine was left alone outside. She regretfully turned one last time to the woods behind her, it was time to move on. Following Atlanta's lead, she entered the RV and shut the door behind her.
A… [view original content]
Chapter 3: “Sin” - Part 4: “I”.
Atlanta Roberts
Josephine said regretfully. “We’ll have to leave. There’s no sense staying...” She bi… moret her lip as Atlanta approached from the RV and joined the conversation. “Atlanta…” Josephine addressed her arrival.
“So…” Atlanta said, “are we leaving or looking?” She asked, disappointedly frowning when Jerry’s eyes met with hers, sharing a common sad look.
“Christian is not coming, we know this.” Jerry claimed as he stepped back towards the RV and the truck. Breaking eye contact with Atlanta, he stopped with his back turned towards the two. “We’re leaving.”
“Right…” Atlanta gloomy replied and followed him, up until she entered the RV and he made his way to the truck parked in front of the camper. Josephine was left alone outside. She regretfully turned one last time to the woods behind her, it was time to move on. Following Atlanta's lead, she entered the RV and shut the door behind her.
A… [view original content]
Comments
Would have he gotten a proper send-off song?
...Possibly.
Improper? So I guess far less poetic songs than.
How about this?
It has feels, but sad ones.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcOxhH8N3Bo
His actual death would've been a very improper send-off, but I think a song would've been in order... I didn't have any planned though.
I had a few in mind and even have a few planned songs to appear, but "Dust Bowl Dance" could have been a likely outcome.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a2e8-ZmtU7c&index=73&list=WL
I wanted to know something... As I make the transition from the written story to a script, would you like me to post it? It'll most likely be a very polished version of what's already posted here and possibly different from what's written here, and or course, formatted as a scrip.
[Move on.] Last thing the group needs is to run into Zafir because they stayed around looking for a dead man.
[Move on.]
[Move on]
Yes!
[Stay and look more.] Why not?
Awesome part!
DANIEL BTW
Excellent, very excellent
Well, Josie's fate might have been revealed, but now she's being hunted by a group of deranged monsters, so there is a lot of potential for future regret. At least with the other option she would have been safe and still hanging out with Lindsay and Keith. Albeit the death of most of the group would have been horrible indeed... I guess I am not sure if I really regret it. Should Josie be killed or worse by Zafir and his fucking bloodhounds I will certainly regret sparing him, but I'll see what future parts will bring.
Oh yes, that sounds interesting. I'd be very interested to see how some of the alternate choices would have played out.
Well, you wouldn't have known if you choose that option. Josie, Lindsay, and I guess Keith, would've all be completely unknown. You may have the reassurance that they're okay now, but you wouldn't have learned what happened to them. You wouldn't know their fates >:3
So, they would have dropped completely from the storyline, or would they have reappeared later? I guess I suddenly regret sparing Zafir a lot less, at least for now.
I was pretty early in the planning of that outcome. So, it's pretty unclear if they would've appeared at some point, but you would have been left hanging for a long time.
It's safe to say... things are changing... new characters that weren't in the original story, different outcomes, and sadder, more realistic storytelling. That's what I hope to bring to the film version.
Things are going to get interesting, if it ever happens.
[Move on.]
[Move on.]
[Move on.]
[Move on]
Chapter 3: “Sin" - Part 3
Vincent Hale
Vincent frantically stood up and watched with wide eyes as the truck drove away. “Fuck…” He muttered as he stared at the retracting truck with Zayne hiding inside.
“Fuck!” Vincent exclaimed loudly as he began running down the hill with his rifle held tightly in his arms. His face echoed a feeling of dread as he soon stood over the bloodied snow that cradled the corpse of a man whose face was almost completely hidden by the newly made cavity in his forehead.
Oddly enough, Vincent felt pity for the dead man, despite his clear intentions. It wasn’t the first time he has seen someone die. Especially in the apocalypse, where he had seen many people die. The first came to mind quickly, almost too easily.
After all this time, he thought it would have become easy to simply brush it off. He reached down to the corpse and began rummaging through his pockets. It felt wrong, looting a dead human being. But anything that could help lead him closer to finding Zayne was a god send, and shouldn’t be thrown away to preserve some moral code that extended to letting the dead rest peacefully, without someone turning out their pockets.
A wallet. Not much, but it could help. A postcard was folded inside of it. The colorful picture read out ‘Greetings from Laredo, Texas.’
Useless. Vincent tossed it aside and placed the palm of his hand over his face. He looked through his fingers and at the pistol lying in the snow by the man. Vincent frustratedly grabbed the pistol and held it to his side as he rose from the ground.
He had no supplies. All he had was the rifle over his shoulder and the pistol in his hand, then the cloths on his back. No time to go back to his cabin and gather supplies, because the trail would go cold.
A dead cold trail meant he wouldn’t be able to follow the truck.
His warm breath met the cold air as he exhaled loudly. “Fuck me.” He muttered with his breath, and began walking forward, towards the direction the truck left in.
Zayne Pattinson
Zayne and the man set in the pickup bed as it rolled across the landscape with great speed, continually hitting bumps and swerving caused Zanye to grab hold of the side of the truck.
“Mph!” The man exclaimed as he threw back his head and the gag covering his mouth.
He quickly reached for the large knot and untied it. It feel to the pickup bed and the man spent a second moving his mouth around to regain the feeling in it. “Well, thanks.” He muttered with a grateful tone.
Zayne remained silent as they set in the pickup bed. “Um…” He spoke awkwardly before falling silent again.
“Oh, I’m Thomas. Rooster Thomas. Odd name, I’m sure, but you get used to it.” He narrowed his eyes. “Who are you, exactly? Oh, and could you untie the bindings on my wrists?”
“Zayne.” He replied with piercing, almost judgmental eyes. “And… I’m not sure if I can do that. Not yet at least.”
“What?” Rooster exclaimed. “C’mon, please?” He asked a second time.
“I don’t know you.” Zayne answered. “There’s a lot of bad people out there, how can i be sure you won’t just turn out to be one of them?”
“Ugh…” Rooster mumbled with confusion. “How the hell am I supposed to prove that? Just untie me I promise I won’t go on a ape shit killin’ spree.”
“Fuck...” Zayne muttered and reached into his backpack for a knife. “Give me a second.” He added as he dug through his supplies. He pulled out the knife and held it tightly in his hand. “Now… you promise?”
“Yes.” He swore. “On my heart and hope to die, I won’t hunt you.” His eyes possessed a sincere look, but as Zayne remained still, the man’s face grew disappointed. “I don’t know what to tell ya.” He sighed. “I can’t prove something like that with a phrase or a snap of the wrist. You’ve gotta listen to me; I ain’t a bad person.”
[Cut off his bindings.]
[Refuse.]
[Cut off his Bindings]
Errgh!! Im conflicted
Awesome part!
[Cut off his bindings.]
[Cut off his bindings] yolo.
[Cut off his bindings.]
[Cut off his bindings.]
I think at least in this situation he should be trusted. Maybe he turns out to be not a good guy afterwrads, but at least for the moment he could be an ally.
[Refuse.]
[Refuse.]
[Cut off his bindings]
[Refuse.]
Nope.
[Cut off his bindings.]
Voting is closed!
(!) Zayne will cut off Rooster's bindings to free him
It's not really a major choice. More of a trust choice to affect the relationships of the characters. But it seems Zayne will trust Rooster Thomas, and will likely gain an ally.
So, I've still been rather inactive recently, much to my own disappointment. I want to return, but I just don't know how to continue at this point, I don't know what to do. So I've taken a step forward and have began planning "By Those Beyond." I know I should probably take a step back to figure out how I want to continue, but I'm still lost on that, almost completely. I need to start moving the group towards their destination. I've neglected to tell any of you the Harvest Hills group's heading. I mean... have any of you thought "where are they going?" It's bound to be of some of your minds and I plan to explain that fully very soon.
Expect a drawing of Josephine soon. It's already drawn, but I've yet to take a picture of it, edit it, then upload it to an image hosting website. And also expect the possibly reveal of some of the chapter titles for Act 3 once I have it planned out.
Like I promised, Josephine Harper.
Aww yes, wonderful drawing! I like it a lot
I know that feeling from my story. Luckily I have a huge amount of PoV's, so nobody ever notices when I'm at a loss of ideas for a singular PoV for a few weeks, but I guess in your case just switching PoV's to Lindsay or Zayne's storyline for a while until you have ideas again could backfire if they advance far more than the Harvest Hills group. So, take your time, I'm sure it'll be for the best. Planning the next Act in the meantime can never be a bad thing, that always helps me too when I'm unsure how to continue.
To be honest, I haven't even thought about that and feel a bit embarrassed now. I am very involved in the groups fate, but all the time I was enthuisiastically reading about their journey I haven't even thought about their destination for once. But I have a guess... Seeing how it was mentioned in Christians flashback and how it would fit with the Chapter 5 title, maybe they are heading for the Rio Grande and want to cross it for some reason?
Pretty cool!
Chapter 3: “Sin” - Part 4: “I”.
Atlanta Roberts
Josephine said regretfully. “We’ll have to leave. There’s no sense staying...” She bit her lip as Atlanta approached from the RV and joined the conversation. “Atlanta…” Josephine addressed her arrival.
“So…” Atlanta said, “are we leaving or looking?” She asked, disappointedly frowning when Jerry’s eyes met with hers, sharing a common sad look.
“Christian is not coming, we know this.” Jerry claimed as he stepped back towards the RV and the truck. Breaking eye contact with Atlanta, he stopped with his back turned towards the two. “We’re leaving.”
“Right…” Atlanta gloomy replied and followed him, up until she entered the RV and he made his way to the truck parked in front of the camper. Josephine was left alone outside. She regretfully turned one last time to the woods behind her, it was time to move on. Following Atlanta's lead, she entered the RV and shut the door behind her.
Atlanta watched from the back as Josephine sat by Jordan in the front of the RV and forced a smile at Jordan. She awkwardly replied with a forced, sad smirk.
Atlanta brushed off this minor interaction and prayed the two didn’t start talking as they pulled forward and began driving once again. She had witnessed the guilt Jordan had held onto for so long first hand. It wasn’t pretty; it was quite honestly scary.
“Atlanta…” It was Ashley, who spoke with a mildly worried tone, “you’ve seemed distant. I know after what happen last night - that bloodbath - I’ve…” She puffed out a long and sudden sigh. Her vision fell over Daniel, the timid 7-year-old who silently set to the far left of Ashley.
“What’s there to talk about?” Atlanta said, trying to change the topic. “Jordan and I were still awake, we caught the door breaking and we-- she… took care of it.” Atlanta shook her head. “Of course we woke you and Daniel up quick as--”
“Daniel was awake.” Ashley’s words sent a chill down her spine.
“I…” Atlanta stuttered. “I could imagine, it must have been hard to sleep given the situation…” She attempted to avoid the topic.
“Jesus christ.” Ashley exclaimed under hushed words. “Are you trying to bullshit me? I can tell when you’re trying to lie, Atlanta.” She sighed heavily. “Fuck it, look… Daniel has told me… everything.”
“Fuck me…” Atlanta muttered with a depressed tone as she covered her face with her hands. Through her fingers, she looked at Daniel’s sad face, a face of guilt. “What... are you…” She quickly faced Ashley once again with a very worried look. “Ashley, please, don’t bring this up. We can’t let this surface for the whole group’s sake.”
“I know… I know, I know.” Ashley muttered through her teeth. “But we can’t ignore this.” Ashley looked her in the eye. “Think of what might happen if it slips out. If it happens without… without control…” Her vision flitted as her head turned towards Jerry’s trunk.
“Then you’re thinking what I’m thinking.” Atlanta replied, following Ashley’s vision. “Jerry will kill her. Murder her.”
“Yeah, justice at it’s finest.” Ashley remarked.
“You can’t be serious. Jordan is one of us. She has been since we set out to on this godforsaken road.” Atlanta quickly replied. “I won’t let that happen.”
“Of course I’m not serious.” Ashley defended herself. “It was just a comment.” She shook her head. “You seriously think Jerry would do that?” Ashley asked reluctantly.
“You’ve seen him…” Atlanta frowned. “You’ve seen him kill. What should make us think he wouldn’t kill her? He’s been great this last week or so… but you know how he was before. He’ll get worked up. He’ll get mad. He’ll fucking… kill her.”
“We’re almost to Laredo…” Ashley bought up, “we could wait until we get there… but it’s something that needs to be said. We all need to know sooner or later. Dean… Dean was one of US too.”
Atlanta bit her lip. “Ashley. Please, Ashley, just drop this for now.” Ashley spotted the watery eyes of her partner.
“I’m sorry.” Ashley apologized with a sad expression. “I’m sorry…” She repeated as she took Atlanta’s hand and held it in her own.
“I’m sorry, too.” Atlanta finished, tightly gripping her hand. “We’ll get through this.”
To Be Continued...
I'm sorry for the lack of a choice. I'm still out of it when comes to writing and am trying to get back into it. But nonetheless, I hope you enjoyed this brief part, and by all means, feel free to provide some feedback or speculate in general on today's events (it seriously helps when trying to gain back motivation). I hope you all have a lovely night, I'm off to bed.
Jordan is screwed anyway you look at it... Great chapter!
Great part! I liked the interaction between Ashley and Atlanta here, albeit I have a bad feeling about the state of the group. There are some major problems coming about Jordan. Also, I see that I was apparently right when I speculated that the Rio Grande would have some significange, now that the group is heading to Laredo and likely to Mexico after that.
Well, I'm bad at constructive feedback, but I can say that it was a great part. Josie was in it and she's still fine at the end of the part, so it can't be a bad part, but on top of that it had the first interaction between her and Jordan, as well as a great talk between Ashley and Atlanta, so I liked that a lot
As for speculation: I have a very bad feeling about Josie and Jordan. At this point I'm unsure how exactly Josie will react to the reveal that Jordan is the person responsible for kidnapping her, on top of being the killer of Dean and having helped the people who arguably helped the horde breaking into Harvest Hills, therefore causing the death of Anthony. I think there's not only all sadness and melancholia in Josie, but there has to be a lot of bottled-up anger as well. If Josie thinks as far as I did, that Jordan basically helped the people who caused her brothers death, then Jerry might not be Jordan's biggest problem anymore.
Speaking of Jerry, Atlanta has a good point when she said that Jerry will probably try to kill Jordan. Haven't thought about that. I want at least Josie to learn the truth about Jordan, mainly because I'm very interested in her reaction, but I really hope that Jerry won't learn about it ever. Josie is not irrational and not crazy and maybe she'll spare Jordan's life even if she holds her responsible for Anthony's death. It's a pretty big 'Maybe', but it's the best chance Jordan has at this moment. My opinion on her will depend on Josie's opinion on her, since I'll support Josie completely with whatever action she wants to take against Jordan, wether it'll be forgiving her, not forgiving her, maybe even killing her or just using her signature move of breaking a nose. Jordan is still very ambiguous for me, on the one hand I think she deserves redemption and forgiveness, but part of me thinks she would also deserve a bullet. Writing this down, I somehow have the bad feeling that Josie's reaction could be determined by a choice. In that case, I have no idea what I should pick. Right now I'm more on the forgiving side, but I also think that Josie has every right not to forgive her. In the end, Josie was certainly the one affected the most by Jordan's actions, so she deserves to be the one who ultimately decides in that matter, regardless of what course of action Atlanta, Ashley or Jerry would prefer.
Finally, I have the feeling that the relationship between Ashley and Atlanta could take a turn for the worse over the whole Jordan stuff. Atlanta seems to be more on the forgiving side when it comes to Jordan, while Ashley does not seem to have that much of a problem with killing her. I think especially if Jerry or Josie decide to harm Jordan in any way (and at least a rough beating won't be undeserved), Atlanta and Ashley could get into a huge argument over what cause of action they should support here. Potentially, the group could even fall apart over that decision.
AWESOME CHAPTER THIS IS AMAZING VDSFCEDAFCEDAFCEWDFCEWDF
AND LIQUID IS RIGHT
Awesome part! I agree with Liquid that the Jordan situation could be a problem for the whole group. Jerry will probably want to kill her no matter what the group decides and I have no idea how Josephine will react. Maybe she will forgive her but I can also see her reacting worse than Jerry to that.
Great part! Finally got up on this story... AGAIN...
Damn forums!