This might be an odd question but.........how was Alex? Was he cool? Was he a Jerk? Did he have an agenda? Why did he randomly decide this was a good idea? What would he have added? Was there anything interasting in his character at all?
Sorry it's just i think hes so far the least developed character......permanently. (At least i hope he is, looking fearfully at those unintroduced) And i just want to know.
Alternative Choices: Chapter V
Samantha I:
[Go after Mullendore and Lucas]
This would have changed the outcome of the chapter a l… moreot and it would have also been way more dangerous for Samantha and Sasha. They would have succeeded in freeing Lucas, although depending on future choices, Samantha, Sasha or even both (or neither, to be fair) could have died. Lucas would have been spared the torture, but Leonard would have been tortured instead. He would have been broken a bit earlier than Lucas and would have ultimately revealed the location of Dairon, which would have resulted in Dairon getting taken before Lucas and his allies could have saved him. Lucas would have also teamed up with Davith, but Jaylon would have remained a villain, who would have been fought and killed later in the chapter either by Lucas or by Samantha. In the end, they would have succeeded in freeing Leonard, but would have left Dairon behind, whose fate would hav… [view original content]
Ilish I:
[Bring Malkolm a mug of ale first]
This option would have given Malkolm Sternhelm, Hobert's head guard, a bit more screentime… more and he would have been in a better mood in Willfred's next part, but ultimately, not much would have changed. You would have failed to learn Kreep's identity and he would have had less screentime in this chapter.
[Bring Ser Rodrik a bottle of wine first]
This option, similar to the Malcolm option would have caused Kreep to appear less in this chapter. Instead, Rodrik would have had marginally more screentime and he would have been in a better mood, resulting in him not snapping in the next Ilish part.
Samantha IV
[Try to negotiate with the Archmaester]
This would have caused Wulvren to be utterly annoyed at Samantha, but he ultimately would have opened the door. He wouldn't have shown some of his cooler character traits, instead he would have appeared to be somewhat grumpy. However, it w… [view original content]
If Lucas had died, would Leonard have taken his place as a POV once he returned to Raylansfair?
This is something I am actually very undecided about. I like Leonard as a non-PoV and he is unarguably one of the most important non-PoV characters, currently without a doubt more important than some of the PoV characters even. I also think he works extremely well the way he is right now. However, for reasons that will be more clear later in Book 1, I need a PoV in a high position in Raylansfair, someone who has at least some sort of authority and if Lucas would have died, Leonard would be the most likely candidate. If Lucas would have died, I would have most likely decided to make Leonard a PoV because of a lack of alternatives.
If Phillip was wounded instead of Urid, would we have still gotten the choice to try and talk him out of vengance?
No. At least in the first time after his wound, Philip would be too weak to do anything against Wolfius and the assassins. While he would have recovered eventually, it would have taken some time. Instead, it would have been Richard who would have become more vengeful, especially if Urid would have died on top of Philip getting wounded. Since I like the choice, it would have appeared a bit later, most likely in Chapter 6, in a slightly different situation. Worried about her father, Jenna would have made a heartfelt plea towards him, begging him to give up on his vengeance before he would get himself killed. Richard would have had the choice to follow her wishes, or to ignore her and to continue his fight against the assassins and against Wolfius.
If Lucas had died, would Leonard have taken his place as a POV once he returned to Raylansfair?
If Phillip was wounded instead of Urid, would we have still gotten the choice to try and talk him out of vengance?
About Alexander... I hoped to show most of his character traits in the short time he appeared, so the way he appeared in Ilish's part was mostly genuine. He was a nice and friendly guy, compared to most of the other Second Sons, even though part of his friendliness towards Ilish had entirely carnal reasons. WildlingKing compared him to Justin Massey from the books and the comparison is not too far fetched. He decided to protect her because he never thought that Wolfius could be that much of a danger and because he wanted to look like a hero in her eyes, but also because he wouldn't just leave an innocent woman to die if he has a choice. That said, I haven't shown some of his darker characteristics. He was greedy and joined the Second Sons solely because he wanted to earn some money. He was also pragmatic and very ambitious, in a negative way. If he would have survived, he would have ultimately tried to take control of the Second Sons. While this would have been beneficial for Raylansfair at first, he would have also shown a willingness to commit atrocities if his employer commands it, as long as he is paid well. Avarice and ambition are his strongest and worst character traits and the only ones I had no opportunity to show. In general, he was not exactly a good man, but also definitely not a bad man.
This might be an odd question but.........how was Alex? Was he cool? Was he a Jerk? Did he have an agenda? Why did he randomly decide this w… moreas a good idea? What would he have added? Was there anything interasting in his character at all?
Sorry it's just i think hes so far the least developed character......permanently. (At least i hope he is, looking fearfully at those unintroduced) And i just want to know.
Hey guys i have another of my famous questions again. As a hobby i like to look at the unintroduced list and guess how the characters are by name (personality, looks, etc). So i would like you guys to randomly pick one or two characters from the huge list and tell me why the interest you and how you think they are.
I doubt even two of you will pick the same one. The only rule is : you cannot pick a characters that is yours. I look forward to see your replies.
Xha: A short name in middle of the long list of (mostly) long names However what truly interests me is that could this character be from further east than Qarth? Like from Yi Ti because the name hints towards that. Then again it could be a Qartheen name too. Or maybe some King's Landing whore just wanted to give her child a very exotic name XD Now if I have to make guesses I'd say he is either an assasin or a sellsword, and he is a handsome young man. Pretty vague guesses, I know
Inquisitor Hadrax: Inquisitor, huh? That certainly is interesting. Now to what religion could this be related to? I'd say he is a worshiper of R'hllor who has come to Westeros to spread the word about Lord of Light.
Mixy Tollet: Is Mixy a girl's name? If it is then she is a female version of Dolorous Edd
Hey guys i have another of my famous questions again. As a hobby i like to look at the unintroduced list and guess how the characters are by… more name (personality, looks, etc). So i would like you guys to randomly pick one or two characters from the huge list and tell me why the interest you and how you think they are.
I doubt even two of you will pick the same one. The only rule is : you cannot pick a characters that is yours. I look forward to see your replies.
Thanks for replying. Some of these sound preatty accurate i wonder if you're correct. I kinda wonder if they are.
Also....Mixy why does that sound like a little girls name to me? But if its a dude i think we can finally give Wolfius the befenefit of the doubt when it comes to bad names.
Fun idea Okay, I'll pick few:
* Xha: A short name in middle of the long list of (mostly) long names However what truly interests me i… mores that could this character be from further east than Qarth? Like from Yi Ti because the name hints towards that. Then again it could be a Qartheen name too. Or maybe some King's Landing whore just wanted to give her child a very exotic name XD Now if I have to make guesses I'd say he is either an assasin or a sellsword, and he is a handsome young man. Pretty vague guesses, I know
* Inquisitor Hadrax: Inquisitor, huh? That certainly is interesting. Now to what religion could this be related to? I'd say he is a worshiper of R'hllor who has come to Westeros to spread the word about Lord of Light.
* Mixy Tollet: Is Mixy a girl's name? If it is then she is a female version of Dolorous Edd
Fun idea Okay, I'll pick few:
* Xha: A short name in middle of the long list of (mostly) long names However what truly interests me i… mores that could this character be from further east than Qarth? Like from Yi Ti because the name hints towards that. Then again it could be a Qartheen name too. Or maybe some King's Landing whore just wanted to give her child a very exotic name XD Now if I have to make guesses I'd say he is either an assasin or a sellsword, and he is a handsome young man. Pretty vague guesses, I know
* Inquisitor Hadrax: Inquisitor, huh? That certainly is interesting. Now to what religion could this be related to? I'd say he is a worshiper of R'hllor who has come to Westeros to spread the word about Lord of Light.
* Mixy Tollet: Is Mixy a girl's name? If it is then she is a female version of Dolorous Edd
You mean something like this little 'What if'- section I wrote at the end of Chapter 4? Of course I can do that. There are quite a lot of earlier choices that would have altered the outcome of this chapter, including some that would have resulted in a few additional characters dying, so I'm going to need some time to write it all down, but it should be done a bit later today.
That is by far the longest name that ever got submitted. For length reasons, I actually had to shorten him to Inquisitor Hadrax in the waiting list, but the characters in the story will refer to him by his full name of course
Great chapter Liquid! It's not the best among the others (Chapter 4 is still my favorite), but I think its the low point of the story. I will get to that later. Also, I would like to say since that Mallister guy was inspired by Roose Bolton's character, I pretty much saw he would betray the plan.
Who were your favourite characters in Chapter 5? Samantha, she is really growing on me and along with the gang, they make a solid pack together. Jaylon, well since you did pair him up with Samuel's attack on Ellena's ship, I was just curious about him. And this chapter certainly delivered it, Samuel and Jaylon are relatively similar in a way if you think about it.
Who were your least favourite characters in Chapter 5? Wolfius, seriously fuck that guy. Clayton, just sacrificing your group members and having no heart to it is just pure evil.
Who were your favourite PoV's in Chapter 5? Lucas, because of having to read a broken man getting tortured and on the edge of being killed is actually very intense. Garathon, just because of that finale, it was so awesome and I think the Breakers are in all of kinds of trouble right now.
Who were your least favourite PoV's in Chapter 5? Ellena, I do not want to hate, but this chapter somehow has more of Ellena doing absolutely nothing in terms of progression. Her three parts happened during a single hour while the other parts lasted days and weeks.
What has been your favourite part and your favourite moment in Chapter 5? Samantha's rescue mission, glad to see Jaylon was actually planning to help them. Wolfius' assault on Lyria's home. The Drent part with the princess disguise thing was great.
Is there anything you disliked? Oh boy, I don't want to offend you in any way Liquid because I'd like to think of you as my friend, almost the entire chapter felt like a giant filler to me. Prime examples were Jaylon and Ellena, where they did nothing in terms of story. Yeah sure, this chapter lets the characters bond together more and lets the whole Jarpy thing happen, but the last 4 chapters already established a great job linking the characters together and giving them solid background. Even Marak and Maya almost got no chance to shine at all here. I'm saying this, because some of the characters above are actually among my favorites and naturally I'm anxious to read more about them plus get to see them in action. Another issue is inconsistency of parts, this chapter heavily focused on two things, the rescue of Lucas, and the assassination of the Hoares. And because of that shift in attention, characters lack a lot of screen time. Anyone remember the beast roaming Raylansfair? What about Jenna and bringing Corbin back to Harris? Why was there a long wait between John's parts? Why are Raenna and Terroma getting minimal screen time here? If this is just getting saved up for next chapter, well then I'm disappointed because the entire purpose of this chapter was just filler. And don't get me wrong Liquid, I absolutely love this story, I think its amazing in a lot of areas. But in terms of the issues I mentioned above, I feel they should be addressed soon so in later, more important chapters, they don't intervene with the overall plot.
Do you have further advice, anything you'd like to see more, anything you're anticipating in Chapter 6? I know this is hard to ask, but is there any chance you can improve the rate of how many parts are released per week? I just need to know, maybe to prepare myself in advance in the future. But so far, great work as always! Continue your amazing effort and I wish you nothing but the best!
Finally, after four and a half months, Chapter 5 is over! It got long, a lot longer than I planned it to be at first, but I think this is no… moret necessarily a bad thing. I at least enjoyed the chapter and I can't wait to start with the next. Hopefully, you enjoyed it too. Before I can start the chapter, I'm going to update the summary and I'm going to write down the alternative choices. As always, here are a couple of questions for you. You want to explain your answers, it would be much appreciated, but every answer, no matter how brief, helps.
Who were your favourite characters in Chapter 5?
Who were your least favourite characters in Chapter 5?
Who were your favourite PoV's in Chapter 5?
Who were your least favourite PoV's in Chapter 5?
What has been your favourite part and your favourite moment in Chapter 5?
Is there anything you disliked?
Do you have further advice, anything you'd like to see more, anything you're anticipating in Chapter 6?
That is by far the longest name that ever got submitted. For length reasons, I actually had to shorten him to Inquisitor Hadrax in the waiting list, but the characters in the story will refer to him by his full name of course
That is by far the longest name that ever got submitted. For length reasons, I actually had to shorten him to Inquisitor Hadrax in the waiting list, but the characters in the story will refer to him by his full name of course
Hey guys i have another of my famous questions again. As a hobby i like to look at the unintroduced list and guess how the characters are by… more name (personality, looks, etc). So i would like you guys to randomly pick one or two characters from the huge list and tell me why the interest you and how you think they are.
I doubt even two of you will pick the same one. The only rule is : you cannot pick a characters that is yours. I look forward to see your replies.
Thank you for the critique! While positive criticism is always nice, the negative stuff can only help me in improving the story, so I really appreciate it Let me comment on some of the things you mentioned:
Prime examples were Jaylon and Ellena, where they did nothing in terms of story.
I agree with Ellena, who sadly has not that much to do at the moment, but Jaylon? He was among the key characters in Samantha's storyline, involved in several choices and got a lot of necessary focus.
Even Marak and Maya almost got no chance to shine at all here. I'm saying this, because some of the characters above are actually among my favorites and naturally I'm anxious to read more about them plus get to see them in action. Another issue is inconsistency of parts, this chapter heavily focused on two things, the rescue of Lucas, and the assassination of the Hoares. And because of that shift in attention, characters lack a lot of screen time.
This is sadly true, but necessary at the same time. The rescue of Lucas and the assassination of Harren Hoare are the main storylines of Chapter 5, just like Oldtown in general was the main storyline for Chapter 4. As a result of how the story is written, not every storyline can get equal screentime in each chapter. At times, some of the characters will have less to do than others. I think that's only natural, considering how many characters appear in this story. And some characters are simply more important than others and require more screentime, but this can always change.
Anyone remember the beast roaming Raylansfair?
The beast was never intended to be important for Chapter 5. It was a hint for a future storyline, that will be more important in the next two chapters. While I could have skipped the small hint of the beast storyline at the beginning of this chapter, I like to hint at some things way in advance and don't want to pull the beast storyline out of nowhere as soon as it gets really important. I prefer to build up certain storylines slowly. Sometimes, it might be too slow, but I think it's still better than cramming a complete storyline into a single chapter.
What about Jenna and bringing Corbin back to Harris?
This happened offscreen. Nothing interesting happened during the way, since Wolfius was preoccupied with Lyria and Ilish, so I saw no reason to include it. It would have really just been Jenna dragging the Septon back to the castle. They wouldn't have talked, since Jenna was too furious and Corbin too depressed at what he did, so I think it would have been quite boring.
Why was there a long wait between John's parts?
I have specified that a bit earlier already. It was an unfortunate miscalculation I made. John's first part had one problem and that was Harris. Harris is a character who was involved in way too many storylines in this chapter. He started Jenna's and John's, appeared in Arthur's and Maya's and there was the possibility for him to appear in Willfred's as well. Since I needed him in Arthur's and Maya's storylines a bit later in this chapter and since his appearance in Maya's storyline happened over two parts, I needed him to start John's and Jenna's storylines early in this chapter. However, while it worked out with Jenna, I only later realized a mistake I made for John. Rodrik Stone was set to appear in his second part. However, Rodrik was also planned to cause trouble in Ilish's second part, to bring her into contact with Alexander. Ilish's second part also brought her into contact with Wolfius, so it could only happen after Lyria's storyline, quite late in this chapter. Because of this, John's storyline could only happen after Lyria's storyline was finished and after Ilish's second part was written. At times it can be really hard to keep track of everything, because a lot of storylines are deeply connected.
Why are Raenna and Terroma getting minimal screen time here?
Raenna had three parts, which is as much as many of the other PoV's. Just, other PoV's had more screen time, of course. However, I advanced Raenna's storyline into the position I want her to be at the beginning of Chapter 6 so I don't think it was necessary to dedicate more time to her in this chapter. Her storyline in Chapter 5 was simply to introduce her, to make the reader familiar with her, to build up her connection to Kersea and Clayton and to deal with her joining Terroma. Of course this means that there wasn't much to do for her in this chapter, but it was sufficient in my eyes.
If this is just getting saved up for next chapter, well then I'm disappointed because the entire purpose of this chapter was just filler.
Yes, some things in this chapter can be seen as filler, in a certain way. However, the term filler sounds quite negative in my eyes, as filler is often seen as unnecessary. I can assure you, no part in this chapter was unnecessary in any way. At time, it is absolutely necessary to put more focus on one character, while giving another character less to do. The alternative would have been not to show some of the characters and to focus entirely on this chapters main storylines, but that would have been a bad decision in my opinion. For example, Maya's storyline in this chapter may feel like filler, but it was necessary. In order for her Chapter 6 storyline to happen, she needed to talk to Harris in Chapter 5, but other than that, there really wasn't much to do for her in this chapter. Moving her talk with Harris to Chapter 6 would give her nothing to do in Chapter 5, while also making her Chapter 6 storyline longer than necessary. The chapter itself was anything but filler. It dealt with some important aspects of the story, wrapped up Lucas' Oldtown arc and advanced the Harrenhal arc to the next level. It set the storylines of the characters with less screentime into the position I want them to be at the beginning of Chapter 6. It hinted at storylines to come way in the future. It developed some of the previously minor characters. It introduced important characters for future chapters.
I feel they should be addressed soon so in later, more important chapters, they don't intervene with the overall plot.
Some of these storylines you mentioned will be the overall plot in the later chapters. For example, the beast storyline or Raenna and Terroma doing their stuff will get important later, while Lucas' Oldtown storyline is over after this chapter. These future storylines have been hinted at now, so that they don't intervene with the current plot but still don't happen without any build-up. As a result, some characters tend to have less screentime for a while, but as unfortunate as it is, I don't see a way to prevent it.
I know this is hard to ask, but is there any chance you can improve the rate of how many parts are released per week?
In general, how fast I bring out a chapter relies on several factors: How fast do I write, how much time do I have to write and how active do the readers vote. I don't want to close the voting when only half of the regular readers had a chance to read the part. However, while my major is not the most time-consuming ever, I still have to deal with university matters, so while I often have a lot of time to write, there are days where I have almost no time at all. Finally, some of the storylines are harder to write than others, so I naturally make less progress. All of that prevents me from releasing 5 pages full of story every other day. That said, I usually release a new part every 2-3 days and I will probably keep that schedule.
Great chapter Liquid! It's not the best among the others (Chapter 4 is still my favorite), but I think its the low point of the story. I wil… morel get to that later. Also, I would like to say since that Mallister guy was inspired by Roose Bolton's character, I pretty much saw he would betray the plan.
Who were your favourite characters in Chapter 5? Samantha, she is really growing on me and along with the gang, they make a solid pack together. Jaylon, well since you did pair him up with Samuel's attack on Ellena's ship, I was just curious about him. And this chapter certainly delivered it, Samuel and Jaylon are relatively similar in a way if you think about it.
Who were your least favourite characters in Chapter 5? Wolfius, seriously fuck that guy. Clayton, just sacrificing your group members and having no heart to it is just pure evil.
Who were your favourite PoV's in Chapter 5? Lucas, because of having to read a broken man getting tortu… [view original content]
Yes, Wildling was correct with one point and I can comment on it without spoiling anything: Mixy Tollet is indeed a little girl. Also, I can confirm that Xha is a very exotic character.
Yes, Wildling was correct with one point and I can comment on it without spoiling anything: Mixy Tollet is indeed a little girl. Also, I can confirm that Xha is a very exotic character.
I agree with Ellena, who sadly has not that much to do at the moment, but Jaylon? He was among the key characters in Samantha's storyline, involved in several choices and got a lot of necessary focus.
Sorry that was my fault, I mistyped Jaylon. I meant Marak, my bad.
The beast was never intended to be important for Chapter 5. It was a hint for a future storyline, that will be more important in the next two chapters. While I could have skipped the small hint of the beast storyline at the beginning of this chapter, I like to hint at some things way in advance and don't want to pull the beast storyline out of nowhere as soon as it gets really important. I prefer to build up certain storylines slowly. Sometimes, it might be too slow, but I think it's still better than cramming a complete storyline into a single chapter.
No harm there, maybe its just me, but somehow having something that sounds very interesting to read about early in the story and not get back into the chapter was a little disappointing.
This happened offscreen. Nothing interesting happened during the way, since Wolfius was preoccupied with Lyria and Ilish, so I saw no reason to include it. It would have really just been Jenna dragging the Septon back to the castle. They wouldn't have talked, since Jenna was too furious and Corbin too depressed at what he did, so I think it would have been quite boring.
That's not what I'm trying to say, I mean, as soon as Jenna is decided to bring back Septon Corbin back to Harris, there is no mention of her at all afterwards. I don't think she is on the 'Next Time preview' which is a little worrying.
Yes, some things in this chapter can be seen as filler, in a certain way. However, the term filler sounds quite negative in my eyes, as filler is often seen as unnecessary. I can assure you, no part in this chapter was unnecessary in any way. At time, it is absolutely necessary to put more focus on one character, while giving another character less to do. The alternative would have been not to show some of the characters and to focus entirely on this chapters main storylines, but that would have been a bad decision in my opinion. For example, Maya's storyline in this chapter may feel like filler, but it was necessary. In order for her Chapter 6 storyline to happen, she needed to talk to Harris in Chapter 5, but other than that, there really wasn't much to do for her in this chapter. Moving her talk with Harris to Chapter 6 would give her nothing to do in Chapter 5, while also making her Chapter 6 storyline longer than necessary. The chapter itself was anything but filler. It dealt with some important aspects of the story, wrapped up Lucas' Oldtown arc and advanced the Harrenhal arc to the next level. It set the storylines of the characters with less screentime into the position I want them to be at the beginning of Chapter 6. It hinted at storylines to come way in the future. It developed some of the previously minor characters. It introduced important characters for future chapters.
Again understandable, but say the Jaron parts, we had that beautiful moment with Harpy and the announcement of the Burned Man's plan, but that's about it for him really. And the next chapter is called 'Masquerade' as well, which I'm assuming the heavy focus to Oldtown will return again, but I have no problems there since I do love the storyline.
Some of these storylines you mentioned will be the overall plot in the later chapters. For example, the beast storyline or Raenna and Terroma doing their stuff will get important later, while Lucas' Oldtown storyline is over after this chapter. These future storylines have been hinted at now, so that they don't intervene with the current plot but still don't happen without any build-up. As a result, some characters tend to have less screentime for a while, but as unfortunate as it is, I don't see a way to prevent it.
Yes, I agree there isn't a way to prevent it. But, what if you had the beast parts near the end of the chapter? Wouldn't that make the anxiety to read more about it increase or you didn't think you would be able to fit in with the heavy schedule of characters?
Anyhow, I'm in no way or shape trying to hate on you. And maybe you're right, maybe I'm too anxious to read more to the point I'm actually giving the story a hard time. I'm not so sure anymore. But even if I am, that doesn't change the fact that I love this story a lot, its truly among the greatest here in the forums. This is your story, your show. How you advance in terms of plot and plan is completely up to you. Just know I'll always be a supporter of these books!
Thank you for the critique! While positive criticism is always nice, the negative stuff can only help me in improving the story, so I really… more appreciate it Let me comment on some of the things you mentioned:
Prime examples were Jaylon and Ellena, where they did nothing in terms of story.
I agree with Ellena, who sadly has not that much to do at the moment, but Jaylon? He was among the key characters in Samantha's storyline, involved in several choices and got a lot of necessary focus.
Even Marak and Maya almost got no chance to shine at all here. I'm saying this, because some of the characters above are actually among my favorites and naturally I'm anxious to read more about them plus get to see them in action. Another issue is inconsistency of parts, this chapter heavily focused on two things, the rescue of Lucas, and the assassination of the Hoares. And because of that shift in attention, characters lack a lot of screen … [view original content]
Qoulette: Q names makes me think of Asshai and Qaith. So I'm sure she has something to do with the lands in Essos. Exotic, probably a weirdo or prophecy chick.
Aeron Blacksails: Aeron is a Targaryen-esque name, and Blacksail makes me think of the ironborn and Targaryen fleets. Pretty sure he's ironborn. He doesn't sound pretty.
EDIT: Of course I go back a few pages and find this:
Aeron Blacksails, the occasionally mentioned pirate king of the Stepstones and confirmed enemy of Butterfly
Goddamnit. I was right about the whole ship thing.
Rosmyln Ducat: Ducats are gold coins. They were in The Merchant of Venice. Remember Shylock the Jew? "Three thousands ducats, well.". That is all. Her name is one of those where they change the I's or e's to y's. Hope she's attractive.
Dariel Lagoon, Oberyn Lagoon, Jahaer Lagoon: I just noticed these names. I'm fairly curious. I assume one of them is like Illhan, and the others are more reserved. Still not sure.
Girgar son of Lagar: Shagga, son of Dolf. Mountain clan guy.
Edward Lancaster: Another interesting name. House of Lancaster, War of the Roses. Obvious inspiration for the Lannisters. So is this a member of a cadet branch of the Lannisters? Kind of how the Karstarks still have Starks in their name? I don't know.
Leonard Storm: I can't find his name up there now but I know I saw it. I chose Leonard, a medieval sounding name that has not been used in ASOIAF lore before, and someone dares steals the name of one of the most popular characters of the entire story? This guy better die.
Hey guys i have another of my famous questions again. As a hobby i like to look at the unintroduced list and guess how the characters are by… more name (personality, looks, etc). So i would like you guys to randomly pick one or two characters from the huge list and tell me why the interest you and how you think they are.
I doubt even two of you will pick the same one. The only rule is : you cannot pick a characters that is yours. I look forward to see your replies.
I'm sorry if it seems like I don't pay much attention to the story but be sure that I read every chapter that comes out and try to always make a choice. I wish I could write a long post about your story and about how I feel while reading it but I've got an important school project ahead of me and I just generally don't have much time. I'll just tell you, Ted, that your story is growing bigger and bigger and I'm proud that my small fanfic has inspired you to do something as tremedous and glorious as this. And, of course, I'm looking forward to more.
Well that was a certainly exciting and overall good ending shame about Davith though hope he isn't dead or going to get tortured but one of those will probably happen.
If you'd be asking who of those characters was my most favorite I'd say Ilhan, but since the question is which death was most emotional I'll have to go with Lunett.
I can't find his name up there now but I know I saw it.
Damn it, you are right! I don't know why he isn't in the waiting list, because he definitely was a while ago. My guess would be that I accidentally deleted his name when I deleted an introduced character from the waiting list. Thanks for drawing my attention towards it
Other than that, you have interesting theories for these characters. Some of them are even correct, or at least, partially correct.
Qoulette: Q names makes me think of Asshai and Qaith. So I'm sure she has something to do with the lands in Essos. Exotic, probably a weirdo… more or prophecy chick.
Aeron Blacksails: Aeron is a Targaryen-esque name, and Blacksail makes me think of the ironborn and Targaryen fleets. Pretty sure he's ironborn. He doesn't sound pretty.
EDIT: Of course I go back a few pages and find this:
Aeron Blacksails, the occasionally mentioned pirate king of the Stepstones and confirmed enemy of Butterfly
Goddamnit. I was right about the whole ship thing.
Rosmyln Ducat: Ducats are gold coins. They were in The Merchant of Venice. Remember Shylock the Jew? "Three thousands ducats, well.". That is all. Her name is one of those where they change the I's or e's to y's. Hope she's attractive.
Dariel Lagoon, Oberyn Lagoon, Jahaer Lagoon: I just noticed these names. I'm fairly curious. I assume one of them is like Illhan, and the others are mor… [view original content]
This is a good question. Interestingly, these are exactly the four characters whom I occasionally regret killing off. Perhaps the one I regret killing the most is Ilhan, but the one where I got the most emotional while writing was without a doubt Lunett. I felt honestly bad and even a tiny bit guilty for how brutal and undeserved her death was and struggled for hours with writing it down.
Thank you, I am glad to hear this and it's great to have you as a reader. Without your story I would have never been inspired or encouraged to start my own, so I can't thank you enough!
I'm sorry if it seems like I don't pay much attention to the story but be sure that I read every chapter that comes out and try to always ma… moreke a choice. I wish I could write a long post about your story and about how I feel while reading it but I've got an important school project ahead of me and I just generally don't have much time. I'll just tell you, Ted, that your story is growing bigger and bigger and I'm proud that my small fanfic has inspired you to do something as tremedous and glorious as this. And, of course, I'm looking forward to more.
Cheers!
Comments
This might be an odd question but.........how was Alex? Was he cool? Was he a Jerk? Did he have an agenda? Why did he randomly decide this was a good idea? What would he have added? Was there anything interasting in his character at all?
Sorry it's just i think hes so far the least developed character......permanently. (At least i hope he is, looking fearfully at those unintroduced) And i just want to know.
If Lucas had died, would Leonard have taken his place as a POV once he returned to Raylansfair?
If Phillip was wounded instead of Urid, would we have still gotten the choice to try and talk him out of vengance?
Oh god. I am glad i've broken a tie. I would be so guilty for allowing Mathea to heal him and kill the smallfolk in the process of trying to decline.
Woah I missed a lot. Gotta catch up.
Ditto
This is something I am actually very undecided about. I like Leonard as a non-PoV and he is unarguably one of the most important non-PoV characters, currently without a doubt more important than some of the PoV characters even. I also think he works extremely well the way he is right now. However, for reasons that will be more clear later in Book 1, I need a PoV in a high position in Raylansfair, someone who has at least some sort of authority and if Lucas would have died, Leonard would be the most likely candidate. If Lucas would have died, I would have most likely decided to make Leonard a PoV because of a lack of alternatives.
No. At least in the first time after his wound, Philip would be too weak to do anything against Wolfius and the assassins. While he would have recovered eventually, it would have taken some time. Instead, it would have been Richard who would have become more vengeful, especially if Urid would have died on top of Philip getting wounded. Since I like the choice, it would have appeared a bit later, most likely in Chapter 6, in a slightly different situation. Worried about her father, Jenna would have made a heartfelt plea towards him, begging him to give up on his vengeance before he would get himself killed. Richard would have had the choice to follow her wishes, or to ignore her and to continue his fight against the assassins and against Wolfius.
About Alexander... I hoped to show most of his character traits in the short time he appeared, so the way he appeared in Ilish's part was mostly genuine. He was a nice and friendly guy, compared to most of the other Second Sons, even though part of his friendliness towards Ilish had entirely carnal reasons. WildlingKing compared him to Justin Massey from the books and the comparison is not too far fetched. He decided to protect her because he never thought that Wolfius could be that much of a danger and because he wanted to look like a hero in her eyes, but also because he wouldn't just leave an innocent woman to die if he has a choice. That said, I haven't shown some of his darker characteristics. He was greedy and joined the Second Sons solely because he wanted to earn some money. He was also pragmatic and very ambitious, in a negative way. If he would have survived, he would have ultimately tried to take control of the Second Sons. While this would have been beneficial for Raylansfair at first, he would have also shown a willingness to commit atrocities if his employer commands it, as long as he is paid well. Avarice and ambition are his strongest and worst character traits and the only ones I had no opportunity to show. In general, he was not exactly a good man, but also definitely not a bad man.
Welcome back
I am currently updating the summary and should finish that later today, if you two want to get a quick overview about what happened.
Could you tell us any deaths and stuffs that would have happened but you didn't reveal from earlier chapters?
Hey guys i have another of my famous questions again. As a hobby i like to look at the unintroduced list and guess how the characters are by name (personality, looks, etc). So i would like you guys to randomly pick one or two characters from the huge list and tell me why the interest you and how you think they are.
I doubt even two of you will pick the same one. The only rule is : you cannot pick a characters that is yours. I look forward to see your replies.
Perfect!
Fun idea
Okay, I'll pick few:
Xha: A short name in middle of the long list of (mostly) long names
However what truly interests me is that could this character be from further east than Qarth? Like from Yi Ti because the name hints towards that. Then again it could be a Qartheen name too. Or maybe some King's Landing whore just wanted to give her child a very exotic name XD Now if I have to make guesses I'd say he is either an assasin or a sellsword, and he is a handsome young man. Pretty vague guesses, I know 
Inquisitor Hadrax: Inquisitor, huh? That certainly is interesting. Now to what religion could this be related to? I'd say he is a worshiper of R'hllor who has come to Westeros to spread the word about Lord of Light.
Mixy Tollet: Is Mixy a girl's name? If it is then she is a female version of Dolorous Edd
Thanks for replying. Some of these sound preatty accurate i wonder if you're correct. I kinda wonder if they are.
Also....Mixy why does that sound like a little girls name to me? But if its a dude i think we can finally give Wolfius the befenefit of the doubt when it comes to bad names.
Whooo! one of my chars
good ol Inquisitor Hadrax Ishmael Ignacio Jacobim IV AKA the worst named character ever
Wow
Now that's a long name.
You mean something like this little 'What if'- section I wrote at the end of Chapter 4? Of course I can do that. There are quite a lot of earlier choices that would have altered the outcome of this chapter, including some that would have resulted in a few additional characters dying, so I'm going to need some time to write it all down, but it should be done a bit later today.
That is by far the longest name that ever got submitted. For length reasons, I actually had to shorten him to Inquisitor Hadrax in the waiting list, but the characters in the story will refer to him by his full name of course
Great chapter Liquid! It's not the best among the others (Chapter 4 is still my favorite), but I think its the low point of the story. I will get to that later. Also, I would like to say since that Mallister guy was inspired by Roose Bolton's character, I pretty much saw he would betray the plan.
Who were your favourite characters in Chapter 5? Samantha, she is really growing on me and along with the gang, they make a solid pack together. Jaylon, well since you did pair him up with Samuel's attack on Ellena's ship, I was just curious about him. And this chapter certainly delivered it, Samuel and Jaylon are relatively similar in a way if you think about it.
Who were your least favourite characters in Chapter 5? Wolfius, seriously fuck that guy. Clayton, just sacrificing your group members and having no heart to it is just pure evil.
Who were your favourite PoV's in Chapter 5? Lucas, because of having to read a broken man getting tortured and on the edge of being killed is actually very intense. Garathon, just because of that finale, it was so awesome and I think the Breakers are in all of kinds of trouble right now.
Who were your least favourite PoV's in Chapter 5? Ellena, I do not want to hate, but this chapter somehow has more of Ellena doing absolutely nothing in terms of progression. Her three parts happened during a single hour while the other parts lasted days and weeks.
What has been your favourite part and your favourite moment in Chapter 5? Samantha's rescue mission, glad to see Jaylon was actually planning to help them. Wolfius' assault on Lyria's home. The Drent part with the princess disguise thing was great.
Is there anything you disliked? Oh boy, I don't want to offend you in any way Liquid because I'd like to think of you as my friend, almost the entire chapter felt like a giant filler to me. Prime examples were Jaylon and Ellena, where they did nothing in terms of story. Yeah sure, this chapter lets the characters bond together more and lets the whole Jarpy thing happen, but the last 4 chapters already established a great job linking the characters together and giving them solid background. Even Marak and Maya almost got no chance to shine at all here. I'm saying this, because some of the characters above are actually among my favorites and naturally I'm anxious to read more about them plus get to see them in action. Another issue is inconsistency of parts, this chapter heavily focused on two things, the rescue of Lucas, and the assassination of the Hoares. And because of that shift in attention, characters lack a lot of screen time. Anyone remember the beast roaming Raylansfair? What about Jenna and bringing Corbin back to Harris? Why was there a long wait between John's parts? Why are Raenna and Terroma getting minimal screen time here? If this is just getting saved up for next chapter, well then I'm disappointed because the entire purpose of this chapter was just filler. And don't get me wrong Liquid, I absolutely love this story, I think its amazing in a lot of areas. But in terms of the issues I mentioned above, I feel they should be addressed soon so in later, more important chapters, they don't intervene with the overall plot.
Do you have further advice, anything you'd like to see more, anything you're anticipating in Chapter 6? I know this is hard to ask, but is there any chance you can improve the rate of how many parts are released per week? I just need to know, maybe to prepare myself in advance in the future. But so far, great work as always! Continue your amazing effort and I wish you nothing but the best!
Hey liquid. No spoilers but was Wildling right about any of them?
YEAH! you have not forgotten them XD sweet!
Vord: I have no clue what kind of name this is, but I'm down with it.
Dem: Do I need to say anything?
Blackshade: This one sounds pretty... Mysterious. I'm not sure what to expect, for all I know, it could be a loveable old lady. But probably not.
Thank you for the critique! While positive criticism is always nice, the negative stuff can only help me in improving the story, so I really appreciate it
Let me comment on some of the things you mentioned:
I agree with Ellena, who sadly has not that much to do at the moment, but Jaylon? He was among the key characters in Samantha's storyline, involved in several choices and got a lot of necessary focus.
This is sadly true, but necessary at the same time. The rescue of Lucas and the assassination of Harren Hoare are the main storylines of Chapter 5, just like Oldtown in general was the main storyline for Chapter 4. As a result of how the story is written, not every storyline can get equal screentime in each chapter. At times, some of the characters will have less to do than others. I think that's only natural, considering how many characters appear in this story. And some characters are simply more important than others and require more screentime, but this can always change.
The beast was never intended to be important for Chapter 5. It was a hint for a future storyline, that will be more important in the next two chapters. While I could have skipped the small hint of the beast storyline at the beginning of this chapter, I like to hint at some things way in advance and don't want to pull the beast storyline out of nowhere as soon as it gets really important. I prefer to build up certain storylines slowly. Sometimes, it might be too slow, but I think it's still better than cramming a complete storyline into a single chapter.
This happened offscreen. Nothing interesting happened during the way, since Wolfius was preoccupied with Lyria and Ilish, so I saw no reason to include it. It would have really just been Jenna dragging the Septon back to the castle. They wouldn't have talked, since Jenna was too furious and Corbin too depressed at what he did, so I think it would have been quite boring.
I have specified that a bit earlier already. It was an unfortunate miscalculation I made. John's first part had one problem and that was Harris. Harris is a character who was involved in way too many storylines in this chapter. He started Jenna's and John's, appeared in Arthur's and Maya's and there was the possibility for him to appear in Willfred's as well. Since I needed him in Arthur's and Maya's storylines a bit later in this chapter and since his appearance in Maya's storyline happened over two parts, I needed him to start John's and Jenna's storylines early in this chapter. However, while it worked out with Jenna, I only later realized a mistake I made for John. Rodrik Stone was set to appear in his second part. However, Rodrik was also planned to cause trouble in Ilish's second part, to bring her into contact with Alexander. Ilish's second part also brought her into contact with Wolfius, so it could only happen after Lyria's storyline, quite late in this chapter. Because of this, John's storyline could only happen after Lyria's storyline was finished and after Ilish's second part was written. At times it can be really hard to keep track of everything, because a lot of storylines are deeply connected.
Raenna had three parts, which is as much as many of the other PoV's. Just, other PoV's had more screen time, of course. However, I advanced Raenna's storyline into the position I want her to be at the beginning of Chapter 6 so I don't think it was necessary to dedicate more time to her in this chapter. Her storyline in Chapter 5 was simply to introduce her, to make the reader familiar with her, to build up her connection to Kersea and Clayton and to deal with her joining Terroma. Of course this means that there wasn't much to do for her in this chapter, but it was sufficient in my eyes.
Yes, some things in this chapter can be seen as filler, in a certain way. However, the term filler sounds quite negative in my eyes, as filler is often seen as unnecessary. I can assure you, no part in this chapter was unnecessary in any way. At time, it is absolutely necessary to put more focus on one character, while giving another character less to do. The alternative would have been not to show some of the characters and to focus entirely on this chapters main storylines, but that would have been a bad decision in my opinion. For example, Maya's storyline in this chapter may feel like filler, but it was necessary. In order for her Chapter 6 storyline to happen, she needed to talk to Harris in Chapter 5, but other than that, there really wasn't much to do for her in this chapter. Moving her talk with Harris to Chapter 6 would give her nothing to do in Chapter 5, while also making her Chapter 6 storyline longer than necessary. The chapter itself was anything but filler. It dealt with some important aspects of the story, wrapped up Lucas' Oldtown arc and advanced the Harrenhal arc to the next level. It set the storylines of the characters with less screentime into the position I want them to be at the beginning of Chapter 6. It hinted at storylines to come way in the future. It developed some of the previously minor characters. It introduced important characters for future chapters.
Some of these storylines you mentioned will be the overall plot in the later chapters. For example, the beast storyline or Raenna and Terroma doing their stuff will get important later, while Lucas' Oldtown storyline is over after this chapter. These future storylines have been hinted at now, so that they don't intervene with the current plot but still don't happen without any build-up. As a result, some characters tend to have less screentime for a while, but as unfortunate as it is, I don't see a way to prevent it.
In general, how fast I bring out a chapter relies on several factors: How fast do I write, how much time do I have to write and how active do the readers vote. I don't want to close the voting when only half of the regular readers had a chance to read the part. However, while my major is not the most time-consuming ever, I still have to deal with university matters, so while I often have a lot of time to write, there are days where I have almost no time at all. Finally, some of the storylines are harder to write than others, so I naturally make less progress. All of that prevents me from releasing 5 pages full of story every other day. That said, I usually release a new part every 2-3 days and I will probably keep that schedule.
Yes, Wildling was correct with one point and I can comment on it without spoiling anything: Mixy Tollet is indeed a little girl. Also, I can confirm that Xha is a very exotic character.
Hah XD at least I got something right...
Sorry that was my fault, I mistyped Jaylon. I meant Marak, my bad.
No harm there, maybe its just me, but somehow having something that sounds very interesting to read about early in the story and not get back into the chapter was a little disappointing.
That's not what I'm trying to say, I mean, as soon as Jenna is decided to bring back Septon Corbin back to Harris, there is no mention of her at all afterwards. I don't think she is on the 'Next Time preview' which is a little worrying.
Again understandable, but say the Jaron parts, we had that beautiful moment with Harpy and the announcement of the Burned Man's plan, but that's about it for him really. And the next chapter is called 'Masquerade' as well, which I'm assuming the heavy focus to Oldtown will return again, but I have no problems there since I do love the storyline.
Yes, I agree there isn't a way to prevent it. But, what if you had the beast parts near the end of the chapter? Wouldn't that make the anxiety to read more about it increase or you didn't think you would be able to fit in with the heavy schedule of characters?
Anyhow, I'm in no way or shape trying to hate on you. And maybe you're right, maybe I'm too anxious to read more to the point I'm actually giving the story a hard time. I'm not so sure anymore. But even if I am, that doesn't change the fact that I love this story a lot, its truly among the greatest here in the forums. This is your story, your show. How you advance in terms of plot and plan is completely up to you. Just know I'll always be a supporter of these books!
POLL
http://strawpoll.me/6129267
Dairon. Man I felt bad after that. The tears were swelling.
Poor Dairon
Qoulette: Q names makes me think of Asshai and Qaith. So I'm sure she has something to do with the lands in Essos. Exotic, probably a weirdo or prophecy chick.
Aeron Blacksails: Aeron is a Targaryen-esque name, and Blacksail makes me think of the ironborn and Targaryen fleets. Pretty sure he's ironborn. He doesn't sound pretty.
EDIT: Of course I go back a few pages and find this:
Goddamnit. I was right about the whole ship thing.
Rosmyln Ducat: Ducats are gold coins. They were in The Merchant of Venice. Remember Shylock the Jew? "Three thousands ducats, well.". That is all. Her name is one of those where they change the I's or e's to y's. Hope she's attractive.
Dariel Lagoon, Oberyn Lagoon, Jahaer Lagoon: I just noticed these names. I'm fairly curious. I assume one of them is like Illhan, and the others are more reserved. Still not sure.
Girgar son of Lagar: Shagga, son of Dolf. Mountain clan guy.
Edward Lancaster: Another interesting name. House of Lancaster, War of the Roses. Obvious inspiration for the Lannisters. So is this a member of a cadet branch of the Lannisters? Kind of how the Karstarks still have Starks in their name? I don't know.
Leonard Storm: I can't find his name up there now but I know I saw it. I chose Leonard, a medieval sounding name that has not been used in ASOIAF lore before, and someone dares steals the name of one of the most popular characters of the entire story? This guy better die.
Hey Agent want to join my little game above?
not really, no offence intended. I'm just not really feeling guessing characters personality's right now.
Oh.....ok. None taken.....i guess.
I'm still bummed about Ilhan being murdered by Harris. He was so damn cool.
Sry for the short reply. I was tired. Anyway its cool you don't have to
But you're missing out, its really fun.
I'm sorry if it seems like I don't pay much attention to the story but be sure that I read every chapter that comes out and try to always make a choice. I wish I could write a long post about your story and about how I feel while reading it but I've got an important school project ahead of me and I just generally don't have much time. I'll just tell you, Ted, that your story is growing bigger and bigger and I'm proud that my small fanfic has inspired you to do something as tremedous and glorious as this. And, of course, I'm looking forward to more.
Cheers!
Well that was a certainly exciting and overall good ending shame about Davith though hope he isn't dead or going to get tortured but one of those will probably happen.
If you'd be asking who of those characters was my most favorite I'd say Ilhan, but since the question is which death was most emotional I'll have to go with Lunett.
Damn it, you are right! I don't know why he isn't in the waiting list, because he definitely was a while ago. My guess would be that I accidentally deleted his name when I deleted an introduced character from the waiting list. Thanks for drawing my attention towards it
Other than that, you have interesting theories for these characters. Some of them are even correct, or at least, partially correct.
This is a good question. Interestingly, these are exactly the four characters whom I occasionally regret killing off. Perhaps the one I regret killing the most is Ilhan, but the one where I got the most emotional while writing was without a doubt Lunett. I felt honestly bad and even a tiny bit guilty for how brutal and undeserved her death was and struggled for hours with writing it down.
Thank you, I am glad to hear this and it's great to have you as a reader. Without your story I would have never been inspired or encouraged to start my own, so I can't thank you enough!