My mother's fucked up again.
Last night, she told me if I ever told anyone about her being high, she'd kill me.
No son ever deserves to hear that from their mother.
Unfortunately, more chances aren't always enough. Expecting an addict to stay clean on sheer willpower is simply not enough. She needs treatment and stability in her life. Just don't do anything that could endanger you personally.
You can't make an addict stop if she doesn't want to.
Just tell your mom that you love her, and it worries you whenever she hurts herself in this way, and that if she ever does want to try to quit, that you will do everything you can to support her through the process.
My mother's fucked up again.
Last night, she told me if I ever told anyone about her being high, she'd kill me.
No son ever deserves to hear that from their mother.
Just tell your mom that you love her, and it worries you whenever she hurts herself in this way, and that if she ever does want to try to quit, that you will do everything you can to support her through the process.
I've done that before, and it always ends the same goddamn way.
You can't make an addict stop if she doesn't want to.
You can't make an addict stop if she doesn't want to.
Just tell your mom that you love her, and it worries you whenever she hurts herself… more in this way, and that if she ever does want to try to quit, that you will do everything you can to support her through the process.
I know that she doesn't mean it. The drugs from the medicine is making her say horrible things. What I think you guys should do is have a family meeting to figure how to solve this problem. Your family probably has to take her medication away and give her the amount she actually needs or try to convince her to go to rehab when she isn't high. And sorry for the curiosity, but is she taking pain pills?
My mother's fucked up again.
Last night, she told me if I ever told anyone about her being high, she'd kill me.
No son ever deserves to hear that from their mother.
I know that she doesn't mean it. The drugs from the medicine is making her say horrible things. What I think you guys should do is have a fa… moremily meeting to figure how to solve this problem. Your family probably has to take her medication away and give her the amount she actually needs or try to convince her to go to rehab when she isn't high. And sorry for the curiosity, but is she taking pain pills?
Have you ever really talked it out with her? If not, try sitting down with her, peacefully with no harsh feelings, and tell her how much you want to help her to get a better lfie, and life won't be better with drugs. Drugs create some kind of peace and happiness, but if drugs are taken away from you, you are left with nothing. She has to visit a professional help (getting her to do that might be very very difficult). But the best you can do for your mother is to show ehr your way of thinking and opinions, on a daily basis, maybe that will help her get mroe open-mided. She obviously has a caring nice young son and she doesn't need those drugs, although she feels like that. Ask her why. ASk her to explain it in every single detail, how does she feel, what does she think.
I am very sorry this is happening to you and your mother.
My mother's fucked up again.
Last night, she told me if I ever told anyone about her being high, she'd kill me.
No son ever deserves to hear that from their mother.
Have you ever really talked it out with her? If not, try sitting down with her, peacefully with no harsh feelings, and tell her how much you… more want to help her to get a better lfie, and life won't be better with drugs. Drugs create some kind of peace and happiness, but if drugs are taken away from you, you are left with nothing. She has to visit a professional help (getting her to do that might be very very difficult). But the best you can do for your mother is to show ehr your way of thinking and opinions, on a daily basis, maybe that will help her get mroe open-mided. She obviously has a caring nice young son and she doesn't need those drugs, although she feels like that. Ask her why. ASk her to explain it in every single detail, how does she feel, what does she think.
I am very sorry this is happening to you and your mother.
I've done family meetings before, and they never turn out great.
They may not turn out great; however, if this conversation is about saving someone you care about life then you need to talk to your family and see what you guys can do.
So I've been seeing this woman for a while. I really enjoy your company, and last night I asked her if she wanted my girlfriend she said yes.
Only problem is, and I don't know why but for some reason I just felt nervous and jittery last night. It showed up in my body language, as emotions often do, and needless to say when someone sees inconsistent behavior in another individual, it can be off-putting.
And I meant, that sometimes I can be very easy happy and gregarious one moment, and then all the sudden for some reason I can be withdrawn.
Last night when I drop her off at her house, she says okay well now you can go back to your family.
We could, I said I would call her. And a while ago I sent her a text message just simply saying that I enjoyed spending time with her yesterday, and then I hope to see her again, and then wished her a great day.
So far, I haven't heard back from her, and given what she said to me last night after I dropped her off, I'm have this feeling that I probably won't hear from her again.
When someone sees inconsistent Behavior another person, they feel that it this person perhaps is not on the level. It was something either hiding, or just somethings not right. And actually that could be very off-putting to them.
If I knew why, my mood changes so quickly from one moment to the next, I would do something about it, and I have been trying to do something about it.
The only thing is that because my old mood, and I used to be really a gloomy - Debbie Downer kind of guy. And I'm trying to become something different, I'm trying to be somebody who is happy, Carefree, someone who is more enjoyable to be around.
Because my brains old programming, line actually want to fall back into default setting, and I'm trying hard not to be that way. So anyway understandably changing your behavior, your way of thinking, it all takes time.
Only problem is I'm afraid that possibly this whole thing may have cost me something that I would have preferred not to have lost.
I don't blame her for feeling the way she does. And if she doesn't contact me again well there's nothing I can do about that. That's the one thing I've learned that I can't control is the actions of other people. But I can control how I respond to those actions.
If I had to put it in a nutshell, as to why why Behavior changes so much. I honestly think it would have to be that for one thing, my parents we're very controlling. Essentially grew up in a police state, and whenever I said I was going out somewhere, they always want to know who I was going with, what I would be doing, and when I'd be coming back.
Eventually it was so bad that it it was almost like I couldn't make a move without them questioning me.
Not to mention, but I probably have always suffered a little bit from a social anxiety deal. I always felt kinda nervous about going into new crowds of people, and new places, and I don't know why that is but I've just always felt that way.
And I think that might have been partly what was going on last night, and I think it was a reason why I acted the way I did, and I'm afraid it fucked everything up for me.
Like I said, I do like her, and I do enjoy spending time with her, but after seeing some inconsistencies in my behavior, and she's seen them a few times now, and I don't blame her if she finds it off-putting, I'm afraid that she will never want to talk or see me again.
And after what she said to me, after I drop her off, I'm afraid that that's kind of what she was saying, without actually coming out and saying it.
Anyway, I hope this doesn't sound too irritating, or dare I say "dweeby" of me.
You are human not a disney character 24/7 jolly and dancing. Of course with girl who is potential GF you will get really nervous i'd be the exact same.
Don't overanalyze or be critical of yourself just as much her job to impress and connect she not perfect either.
Be honest if girl can't get over your imperfections or something as small as that you are with wrong girl and deserve better.
Personally not point out to her as once tell a person something you are really self conscious about it's all they will notice when you interact.
DO NOT text again till she responds it will come across as needy and desperate.
Being a gf is big decision she might just needs some space and time to reflect on it
I wish you luck whether she comes back or not don't worry remember over 3 billion or something girls in world. You find someone better who love ur imperfections
So I've been seeing this woman for a while. I really enjoy your company, and last night I asked her if she wanted my girlfriend she said yes… more.
Only problem is, and I don't know why but for some reason I just felt nervous and jittery last night. It showed up in my body language, as emotions often do, and needless to say when someone sees inconsistent behavior in another individual, it can be off-putting.
And I meant, that sometimes I can be very easy happy and gregarious one moment, and then all the sudden for some reason I can be withdrawn.
Last night when I drop her off at her house, she says okay well now you can go back to your family.
We could, I said I would call her. And a while ago I sent her a text message just simply saying that I enjoyed spending time with her yesterday, and then I hope to see her again, and then wished her a great day.
So far, I haven't heard back from her, and given what she said to me last night aft… [view original content]
You are human not a disney character 24/7 jolly and dancing. Of course with girl who is potential GF you will get really nervous i'd be the … moreexact same.
Don't overanalyze or be critical of yourself just as much her job to impress and connect she not perfect either.
Be honest if girl can't get over your imperfections or something as small as that you are with wrong girl and deserve better.
Personally not point out to her as once tell a person something you are really self conscious about it's all they will notice when you interact.
DO NOT text again till she responds it will come across as needy and desperate.
Being a gf is big decision she might just needs some space and time to reflect on it
I wish you luck whether she comes back or not don't worry remember over 3 billion or something girls in world. You find someone better who love ur imperfections
First off, I just wanted to Simply say thank you for saying what you did. And you're completely right about not texting her again until she … moreresponds.
I had no intentions of texting her again until she responds, but I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one who knows why it's good not to do that.
And you are right, I do tend to be very self-conscious as a person. And that's one of the things that I have really tried to combat.
You know, overthinking somethings turns out to have same result as quick thinking (you know, only once and then you let it all go, which isn't the wisest in many serious situatuions) so you're just making it hard on yourself. Analyzing whether she likes you or not all the time won't do too much. I think she, and everyone else, would prefer you just being you, no matter what others think of you.
You know that case, when you like someone for a while and are all crazy for them, but once you stop being a fangirl, they actually start liking you? Yeah, people will probably hold more respect or whatever for you if you don't spend time thinking and looking what others do and think.
You want to change, that is amazing in this case because who wants to be gloomy the whole life which isn't that long? No one. I feel you man, I am kind of going through the same, but you gotta push through it. Change your thoughts, that is how you will change yourself and your life. It may take you months, or maybe a few days. Work and work on yourself. You are art and you are an artist.
So I've been seeing this woman for a while. I really enjoy your company, and last night I asked her if she wanted my girlfriend she said yes… more.
Only problem is, and I don't know why but for some reason I just felt nervous and jittery last night. It showed up in my body language, as emotions often do, and needless to say when someone sees inconsistent behavior in another individual, it can be off-putting.
And I meant, that sometimes I can be very easy happy and gregarious one moment, and then all the sudden for some reason I can be withdrawn.
Last night when I drop her off at her house, she says okay well now you can go back to your family.
We could, I said I would call her. And a while ago I sent her a text message just simply saying that I enjoyed spending time with her yesterday, and then I hope to see her again, and then wished her a great day.
So far, I haven't heard back from her, and given what she said to me last night aft… [view original content]
So, I'm just going to be straight up and real with you... I read this and your other post about this person. You need to stop talking to her and let her go already, she's not a good friend to you if she's doing all of that and stressing you out beyond belief. It's so bad that you have to let your anger out here and have a bunch of people tell you to stop wasting your time on her. Maybe you have it in the back of your mind that she'll change or that's just the way she is, but she's proven to be unreliable and doesn't seem to care about treating you like trash over and over. She uses you for her own entertainment and only comes crawling back to you to complain about something because she knows no one else wants to hear her bs and that you're the only one willing enough to try to help her. She even makes things up just so it feels like there's someone out there who still cares enough to hear her because she wants attention. She craves it, she needs it to feel important. This is where you're messing up, you get angry and stressed out when she does something but you keep forgiving her and letting things slide; she knows this and takes advantage of it and that's why she keeps doing these things to you. Being nice isn't a bad thing but when you're too nice, people will take advantage of that, sad but true.
So do yourself a huge favor and just ignore her completely. Don't even bother explaining to her why you don't want to be her friend or why you don't want to talk to her anymore. Ignore her for the whole day and see how she acts. If she starts messaging over and over and complaining then that'll prove that she was ignoring you all those times before but if she doesn't message you at all then that just means she doesn't care. She's really draining the happiness out of you and making you miserable. She's toxic and makes you feel like shit. You have to ask yourself do I really want someone like that in my life? So ignore her completely from now on, no matter how badly you want to let her know, just ignore her. Go out there and meet new people, make new friends and don't get hung up on this one person who makes you miserable. There's a whole world out there and lots of people to meet. You'll be happy once you've moved on and you've met people that actually care for you and treat you better than she ever will.
Hmm, oh boy. So my same "friend" that I mentioned earlier was supposed to pick me up so we can play Pokemon Go together at 6 pm (I don't hav… moree a device that can play it, but she does). It's 9 pm now. I don't think it takes about 3 hours to cool down after getting food for snakes. >_< I'm beginning to feel like a fucking loser dressed in my Pokemon trainer closet cosplay (shorts, tank top, and my Clem hat). I just wanted to have a bit of fun after all the stress I'm going through... not to mention my grandma is in the hospital and it turns out she has congestive heart failure. She's gonna die soon. Maybe in a few days, maybe a few weeks if she's lucky.... I was so excited because I've been wanting to play it. It's been about 25 minutes since I last messaged her and she still hasn't responded. She hasn't been on in the last 2 hours. I really don't want to play at night. She did this to me last time we hung out. I thought we were going out … [view original content]
We could, I said I would call her. And a while ago I sent her a text message just simply saying that I enjoyed spending time with her yesterday, and then I hope to see her again, and then wished her a great day.
I can understand your point of view given your background, but in this case, I think it seems innocent and legitimate enough. I don't get the vibe that she is ignoring you or that you did anything wrong, but rather, that you just left a goodbye message that she did not feel the need to respond to. I mean, obviously don't send a response that comes off as needy for attention, but I would think that as long as you send her another text sometime in the future that actually warrants a response (like asking to hang out or something), it should be fine and acceptable to send another response even if she did not respond the first time. A lot of it really just boils down to trying to challenge yourself to break your conditioning and find the momentum to change for the better.
Unless you left out any critical details, it doesn't sound like you did anything wrong - it just sounds like you sent a message that she had not felt prompted to respond to since you weren't really starting a new conversation or trying to hang out, but rather, were just telling her goodbye. The fact that she said she wants to be your girlfriend is a good enough sign, as she would obviously not reciprocate attention if she was not interested.
I would actually recommend not following MarkD's advice about not sending anything else until she responds in this case. In most cases, that is just a general rule of thumb where you want to be at about the same wavelength as someone else (but you obviously do not have to be 1:1 for each time someone sends a message). However, as I explained above, it's okay in this case.
When people give advice about being confident or looking confident, you typically want to look more into what place that advice is coming from and what it represents about the person following said advice instead of taking it at face value. For example, sending her texts only when she responds isn't some magical pill in and off itself to avoid looking needy, but rather, its about what it indicates about the person if they do or do not do something like that. In other words, "actions are stronger than words."
Doing something like not sending a text until someone responds (or sending around the same number of texts) is what confident people would usually do, yes, but people with experience in situations like that also have the foresight and the social intelligence to read into different contexts and respond appropriately if there is a good reason to do so. As I said above, it was just a generic goodbye message, so don't look too much into things - it should be fine to send her another message that actually tries to prompt conversation. However, you do want to avoid calling out her lack of response if it is getting to you - just start a new conversation. Even then, it's always possible she could be busy for some-odd hours, so don't panic. :P
So I've been seeing this woman for a while. I really enjoy your company, and last night I asked her if she wanted my girlfriend she said yes… more.
Only problem is, and I don't know why but for some reason I just felt nervous and jittery last night. It showed up in my body language, as emotions often do, and needless to say when someone sees inconsistent behavior in another individual, it can be off-putting.
And I meant, that sometimes I can be very easy happy and gregarious one moment, and then all the sudden for some reason I can be withdrawn.
Last night when I drop her off at her house, she says okay well now you can go back to your family.
We could, I said I would call her. And a while ago I sent her a text message just simply saying that I enjoyed spending time with her yesterday, and then I hope to see her again, and then wished her a great day.
So far, I haven't heard back from her, and given what she said to me last night aft… [view original content]
Breaking ~da rulezz~~ and making a second response instead of editing my first one, since I wanted to focus on a different aspect of your post:
Like I said, I do like her, and I do enjoy spending time with her, but after seeing some inconsistencies in my behavior, and she's seen them a few times now, and I don't blame her if she finds it off-putting, I'm afraid that she will never want to talk or see me again.
The best thing you can really do is own up to your vulnerabilities, but in a socially intelligent way where you don't overshare too much. People can often over compensate by acting hyper confident and aloof, but surprisingly enough, making the choice to be vulnerable can also be brave in its own right. People are actually attracted to each other's rough edges in some ways, if that makes sense.
If, instead of dwelling on your shortcomings, you show through both your words and actions that you are being proactive and working to be better and improve your situation, it can actually work in your favor.
Being okay with the idea of putting yourself in a vulnerable position can indicate that you have the courage and self respect to be okay if things don't go well, because you have the ability to move on instead of relying on what is outside of your control. It can indicate that you have the convictions and self-efficacy to be comfortable with both the good and bad sides of yourself, which generally goes hand in hand with a lot of other likable traits that people can have (such as trustworthiness, authenticity, etc).
The greatest demonstration of power and security is to actually make oneself defenseless, to become as comfortable with one’s weaknesses as possible.
When accompanied by authenticity and personal accountability, vulnerability is almost always an extremely attractive behavior. When it’s not attractive, then it signals legitimate incompatibility.
[...]
The point of vulnerability is a relinquishing of control, not a tool for further control.
Any expression of emotions or vulnerability must be unconditional, that is, without expectation, otherwise it’s just another form of manipulation.
If you share a heartbreaking story about your dog dying because you think that’s what someone wants to hear and that it will make someone like you or be attracted to you, then you’re doing it wrong. That’s not genuine, and therefore it is not vulnerable. Not only are you continuing to be fake and inauthentic, but you’re now whoring out some of your most cherished life memories to try to get someone to like you or even to sleep with you. Congratulations. You are officially desperate.
Instead, you should share the story of your dying dog and the emotions that went along with it either because a) you are genuinely inspired to by the conversation, or b) as a way of relating to the emotions or experiences of whomever you are speaking to. Boom. It’s just who you are. And here it is. No expectations. No desire to control people’s perceptions of you. Just share yourself and let go.
So I've been seeing this woman for a while. I really enjoy your company, and last night I asked her if she wanted my girlfriend she said yes… more.
Only problem is, and I don't know why but for some reason I just felt nervous and jittery last night. It showed up in my body language, as emotions often do, and needless to say when someone sees inconsistent behavior in another individual, it can be off-putting.
And I meant, that sometimes I can be very easy happy and gregarious one moment, and then all the sudden for some reason I can be withdrawn.
Last night when I drop her off at her house, she says okay well now you can go back to your family.
We could, I said I would call her. And a while ago I sent her a text message just simply saying that I enjoyed spending time with her yesterday, and then I hope to see her again, and then wished her a great day.
So far, I haven't heard back from her, and given what she said to me last night aft… [view original content]
There is something that I do have to ask, is why people are getting so easily offended these days, when this is supposed to be the age of Tolerance?
Comedian Bill Maher was hired to do a show on a college campus, and from what I understand he got fired for it, because somebody didn't like the jokes that he made.
As we all know, comedians will often times address controversial issues by using humor. Now there's nothing wrong with that, and in fact it can actually be a good way to do it.
In a press conference about the incident, Bill Maher stated quite frankly that it's getting so bad that you almost can't make a joke anymore without someone getting offended.
And let's not forget, the words in themselves don't mean anything. The only time that they mean something, is in the context that they are used. It is the context in which they are used is what makes them either good or bad.
So what exactly has happened, why are people getting so offended all the time over the simplest things? I honestly don't get it!
It seems like nowadays we have an entire group of people who are "professionally" offended, whether it's by an unpleasant truth, or something that perhaps doesn't fit in with their belief system.
It's supposed to be that if you found out what you believe is actually false, then you change your beliefs.
If this is indeed the age of Tolerance, that seems to me that people should be tolerant. Very simple, and no need to go into it big description of how people should be acting.
So would somebody like to take a crack at explaining what exactly happened for Society to get this way?
im really not sure whats going on or even why im still alive things seem to be going shit i went to see my girlfriend after a really stressful day at work because she wanted to get a new hamster because her last one died last week usually shes not like this but she was really controlling of me and not her usual happy self she kept complainong that i dont walk properly and because i dont know much about animals she asked ne to remind her what she saw in me again i dont know if the spark is dying or if she dosent love me anymore i dont want to be alone again i dont think i would want to live if i am alone again why do relationships have to be so hard why is nothing ever easy
im really not sure whats going on or even why im still alive things seem to be going shit i went to see my girlfriend after a really stressf… moreul day at work because she wanted to get a new hamster because her last one died last week usually shes not like this but she was really controlling of me and not her usual happy self she kept complainong that i dont walk properly and because i dont know much about animals she asked ne to remind her what she saw in me again i dont know if the spark is dying or if she dosent love me anymore i dont want to be alone again i dont think i would want to live if i am alone again why do relationships have to be so hard why is nothing ever easy
ughh this site at times I swear to god. Who cares about opinions, am I right? and also so sick of coming across aholes while playing online. Freaking children teabaging and calling you scrubs and calling you a f***ot
My mother's fucked up again.
Last night, she told me if I ever told anyone about her being high, she'd kill me.
No son ever deserves to hear that from their mother.
im really not sure whats going on or even why im still alive things seem to be going shit i went to see my girlfriend after a really stressf… moreul day at work because she wanted to get a new hamster because her last one died last week usually shes not like this but she was really controlling of me and not her usual happy self she kept complainong that i dont walk properly and because i dont know much about animals she asked ne to remind her what she saw in me again i dont know if the spark is dying or if she dosent love me anymore i dont want to be alone again i dont think i would want to live if i am alone again why do relationships have to be so hard why is nothing ever easy
ughh this site at times I swear to god. Who cares about opinions, am I right? and also so sick of coming across aholes while playing online. Freaking children teabaging and calling you scrubs and calling you a f***ot
I've been job hunting over the summer and I eventually applied for a GA job at a local GameStop. They called me like twenty minutes after I sent in my application and scheduled an interview the following day. So I go over the next day and I have a pretty good interview with the assistant manager, in fact, probably one of the best job interviews I ever had. She discussed my responsibilities, what the typical work day was like, what my training would be like, how much I would get paid and what hours I would work and stuff. So I was pretty confident going out. They said they would call me the following Tuesday at the latest. So for the next few days, I was constantly checking my phone and making sure I didn't let it out of my sight. Given how well the interview went, I was almost positive that I nailed the job. Tuesday passed and they still didn't call. So earlier today (or yesterday. I'm writing this at 1:30 in the morning) I decided to call in and follow up on the job. I spoke to the manager and they said they were looking at a ton of applicants and they were mostly aiming for summer seasonal workers despite the fact that I was looking for a long-term job. They said I could still get a call next week, but chances are pretty slim considering they're more interested in seasonal employment. There's a few reasons why this really pissed me off:
1: They didn't call me when they said they would call (The assistant manager said during the interview that not a ton of people go into that store, so the employees basically just hang out there and occasionally ring up customers, vacuum, and stock shelves. So it's not like they're overworked and busy all the time)
2: They never said anything about seasonal job employment on the job offer or before they scheduled the interview with me.
3: We're already more than halfway through the summer already, so offering summer seasonal job positions at this point in time doesn't make any fucking sense.
4: I wrote on the application that I was looking for long term work. So if you didn't choose to read over my application before scheduling an interview with me, that's your own fucking fault. And if you did read my application and knew ahead of time that I wasn't what you were looking for, you really have the audacity to interview me anyway and then just leave me in the dark afterwards and screw me over? A simple no would've been fine. I mean, I've been rejected from other jobs before, but they at least sent me emails flat out saying that I didn't get the job. They didn't pull any of this flaky bullshit that you spewed at me.
5: Even if you are still interested in me and are considering calling me next week, why the hell didn't you tell me this on the day you said you would fucking call me? Why the fuck did I have to call YOU in order to get this information? Like I said, they basically just hang out in the store all day. So they had plenty of fucking time to do that.
6: If you were mostly looking for seasonal workers, couldn't you have sent me a rejection call or a rejection email explaining that? No wait. That would actually require you to read my application or to have any fucking idea what you're doing. God knows you guys can't do that.
I hate job hunting. It's such a fucking nightmare. Damn. It felt good to get all that out. I've been keeping that bottled up for hours.
Comments
I know it doesn't really mean anything, but I'm sorry you have to go through stuff like that.
Thanks.
That's terrible.
Unfortunately, more chances aren't always enough. Expecting an addict to stay clean on sheer willpower is simply not enough. She needs treatment and stability in her life. Just don't do anything that could endanger you personally.
You can't make an addict stop if she doesn't want to.
Just tell your mom that you love her, and it worries you whenever she hurts herself in this way, and that if she ever does want to try to quit, that you will do everything you can to support her through the process.
I've done that before, and it always ends the same goddamn way.
Well, otherwise, she'll die.
I know that she doesn't mean it. The drugs from the medicine is making her say horrible things. What I think you guys should do is have a family meeting to figure how to solve this problem. Your family probably has to take her medication away and give her the amount she actually needs or try to convince her to go to rehab when she isn't high. And sorry for the curiosity, but is she taking pain pills?
I've done family meetings before, and they never turn out great.
And no, she was taking sleeping pills.
Have you ever really talked it out with her? If not, try sitting down with her, peacefully with no harsh feelings, and tell her how much you want to help her to get a better lfie, and life won't be better with drugs. Drugs create some kind of peace and happiness, but if drugs are taken away from you, you are left with nothing. She has to visit a professional help (getting her to do that might be very very difficult). But the best you can do for your mother is to show ehr your way of thinking and opinions, on a daily basis, maybe that will help her get mroe open-mided. She obviously has a caring nice young son and she doesn't need those drugs, although she feels like that. Ask her why. ASk her to explain it in every single detail, how does she feel, what does she think.
I am very sorry this is happening to you and your mother.
Yes, and she either blocks me out or changes the subject.
And thanks.
Por... (?) Kids will remember this....
They may not turn out great; however, if this conversation is about saving someone you care about life then you need to talk to your family and see what you guys can do.
Ah, okay.
Well my cousin's puppy died... What a shitty day
So I've been seeing this woman for a while. I really enjoy your company, and last night I asked her if she wanted my girlfriend she said yes.
Only problem is, and I don't know why but for some reason I just felt nervous and jittery last night. It showed up in my body language, as emotions often do, and needless to say when someone sees inconsistent behavior in another individual, it can be off-putting.
And I meant, that sometimes I can be very easy happy and gregarious one moment, and then all the sudden for some reason I can be withdrawn.
Last night when I drop her off at her house, she says okay well now you can go back to your family.
We could, I said I would call her. And a while ago I sent her a text message just simply saying that I enjoyed spending time with her yesterday, and then I hope to see her again, and then wished her a great day.
So far, I haven't heard back from her, and given what she said to me last night after I dropped her off, I'm have this feeling that I probably won't hear from her again.
When someone sees inconsistent Behavior another person, they feel that it this person perhaps is not on the level. It was something either hiding, or just somethings not right. And actually that could be very off-putting to them.
If I knew why, my mood changes so quickly from one moment to the next, I would do something about it, and I have been trying to do something about it.
The only thing is that because my old mood, and I used to be really a gloomy - Debbie Downer kind of guy. And I'm trying to become something different, I'm trying to be somebody who is happy, Carefree, someone who is more enjoyable to be around.
Because my brains old programming, line actually want to fall back into default setting, and I'm trying hard not to be that way. So anyway understandably changing your behavior, your way of thinking, it all takes time.
Only problem is I'm afraid that possibly this whole thing may have cost me something that I would have preferred not to have lost.
I don't blame her for feeling the way she does. And if she doesn't contact me again well there's nothing I can do about that. That's the one thing I've learned that I can't control is the actions of other people. But I can control how I respond to those actions.
If I had to put it in a nutshell, as to why why Behavior changes so much. I honestly think it would have to be that for one thing, my parents we're very controlling. Essentially grew up in a police state, and whenever I said I was going out somewhere, they always want to know who I was going with, what I would be doing, and when I'd be coming back.
Eventually it was so bad that it it was almost like I couldn't make a move without them questioning me.
Not to mention, but I probably have always suffered a little bit from a social anxiety deal. I always felt kinda nervous about going into new crowds of people, and new places, and I don't know why that is but I've just always felt that way.
And I think that might have been partly what was going on last night, and I think it was a reason why I acted the way I did, and I'm afraid it fucked everything up for me.
Like I said, I do like her, and I do enjoy spending time with her, but after seeing some inconsistencies in my behavior, and she's seen them a few times now, and I don't blame her if she finds it off-putting, I'm afraid that she will never want to talk or see me again.
And after what she said to me, after I drop her off, I'm afraid that that's kind of what she was saying, without actually coming out and saying it.
Anyway, I hope this doesn't sound too irritating, or dare I say "dweeby" of me.
Sorry to hear that.
You are human not a disney character 24/7 jolly and dancing. Of course with girl who is potential GF you will get really nervous i'd be the exact same.
Don't overanalyze or be critical of yourself just as much her job to impress and connect she not perfect either.
Be honest if girl can't get over your imperfections or something as small as that you are with wrong girl and deserve better.
Personally not point out to her as once tell a person something you are really self conscious about it's all they will notice when you interact.
DO NOT text again till she responds it will come across as needy and desperate.
Being a gf is big decision she might just needs some space and time to reflect on it
I wish you luck whether she comes back or not don't worry remember over 3 billion or something girls in world. You find someone better who love ur imperfections
First off, I just wanted to Simply say thank you for saying what you did. And you're completely right about not texting her again until she responds.
I had no intentions of texting her again until she responds, but I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one who knows why it's good not to do that.
And you are right, I do tend to be very self-conscious as a person. And that's one of the things that I have really tried to combat.
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I sometimes get an impression that you're real like Kenny.
No offense meant, just an observation.
I agree with Mark.
You know, overthinking somethings turns out to have same result as quick thinking (you know, only once and then you let it all go, which isn't the wisest in many serious situatuions) so you're just making it hard on yourself. Analyzing whether she likes you or not all the time won't do too much. I think she, and everyone else, would prefer you just being you, no matter what others think of you.
You know that case, when you like someone for a while and are all crazy for them, but once you stop being a fangirl, they actually start liking you? Yeah, people will probably hold more respect or whatever for you if you don't spend time thinking and looking what others do and think.
You want to change, that is amazing in this case because who wants to be gloomy the whole life which isn't that long? No one. I feel you man, I am kind of going through the same, but you gotta push through it. Change your thoughts, that is how you will change yourself and your life. It may take you months, or maybe a few days. Work and work on yourself. You are art and you are an artist.
So, I'm just going to be straight up and real with you... I read this and your other post about this person. You need to stop talking to her and let her go already, she's not a good friend to you if she's doing all of that and stressing you out beyond belief. It's so bad that you have to let your anger out here and have a bunch of people tell you to stop wasting your time on her. Maybe you have it in the back of your mind that she'll change or that's just the way she is, but she's proven to be unreliable and doesn't seem to care about treating you like trash over and over. She uses you for her own entertainment and only comes crawling back to you to complain about something because she knows no one else wants to hear her bs and that you're the only one willing enough to try to help her. She even makes things up just so it feels like there's someone out there who still cares enough to hear her because she wants attention. She craves it, she needs it to feel important. This is where you're messing up, you get angry and stressed out when she does something but you keep forgiving her and letting things slide; she knows this and takes advantage of it and that's why she keeps doing these things to you. Being nice isn't a bad thing but when you're too nice, people will take advantage of that, sad but true.
So do yourself a huge favor and just ignore her completely. Don't even bother explaining to her why you don't want to be her friend or why you don't want to talk to her anymore. Ignore her for the whole day and see how she acts. If she starts messaging over and over and complaining then that'll prove that she was ignoring you all those times before but if she doesn't message you at all then that just means she doesn't care. She's really draining the happiness out of you and making you miserable. She's toxic and makes you feel like shit. You have to ask yourself do I really want someone like that in my life? So ignore her completely from now on, no matter how badly you want to let her know, just ignore her. Go out there and meet new people, make new friends and don't get hung up on this one person who makes you miserable. There's a whole world out there and lots of people to meet. You'll be happy once you've moved on and you've met people that actually care for you and treat you better than she ever will.
Sandwiches.
Poor pup
Pizza
I know, and it's the fact that it got killed that makes it all even worse
I can understand your point of view given your background, but in this case, I think it seems innocent and legitimate enough. I don't get the vibe that she is ignoring you or that you did anything wrong, but rather, that you just left a goodbye message that she did not feel the need to respond to. I mean, obviously don't send a response that comes off as needy for attention, but I would think that as long as you send her another text sometime in the future that actually warrants a response (like asking to hang out or something), it should be fine and acceptable to send another response even if she did not respond the first time. A lot of it really just boils down to trying to challenge yourself to break your conditioning and find the momentum to change for the better.
Unless you left out any critical details, it doesn't sound like you did anything wrong - it just sounds like you sent a message that she had not felt prompted to respond to since you weren't really starting a new conversation or trying to hang out, but rather, were just telling her goodbye. The fact that she said she wants to be your girlfriend is a good enough sign, as she would obviously not reciprocate attention if she was not interested.
I would actually recommend not following MarkD's advice about not sending anything else until she responds in this case. In most cases, that is just a general rule of thumb where you want to be at about the same wavelength as someone else (but you obviously do not have to be 1:1 for each time someone sends a message). However, as I explained above, it's okay in this case.
When people give advice about being confident or looking confident, you typically want to look more into what place that advice is coming from and what it represents about the person following said advice instead of taking it at face value. For example, sending her texts only when she responds isn't some magical pill in and off itself to avoid looking needy, but rather, its about what it indicates about the person if they do or do not do something like that. In other words, "actions are stronger than words."
Doing something like not sending a text until someone responds (or sending around the same number of texts) is what confident people would usually do, yes, but people with experience in situations like that also have the foresight and the social intelligence to read into different contexts and respond appropriately if there is a good reason to do so. As I said above, it was just a generic goodbye message, so don't look too much into things - it should be fine to send her another message that actually tries to prompt conversation. However, you do want to avoid calling out her lack of response if it is getting to you - just start a new conversation. Even then, it's always possible she could be busy for some-odd hours, so don't panic. :P
Breaking ~da rulezz~~ and making a second response instead of editing my first one, since I wanted to focus on a different aspect of your post:
The best thing you can really do is own up to your vulnerabilities, but in a socially intelligent way where you don't overshare too much. People can often over compensate by acting hyper confident and aloof, but surprisingly enough, making the choice to be vulnerable can also be brave in its own right. People are actually attracted to each other's rough edges in some ways, if that makes sense.
If, instead of dwelling on your shortcomings, you show through both your words and actions that you are being proactive and working to be better and improve your situation, it can actually work in your favor.
Being okay with the idea of putting yourself in a vulnerable position can indicate that you have the courage and self respect to be okay if things don't go well, because you have the ability to move on instead of relying on what is outside of your control. It can indicate that you have the convictions and self-efficacy to be comfortable with both the good and bad sides of yourself, which generally goes hand in hand with a lot of other likable traits that people can have (such as trustworthiness, authenticity, etc).
There's actually a good article on a blog I follow that talks about this in more detail: https://markmanson.net/vulnerability
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There is something that I do have to ask, is why people are getting so easily offended these days, when this is supposed to be the age of Tolerance?
Comedian Bill Maher was hired to do a show on a college campus, and from what I understand he got fired for it, because somebody didn't like the jokes that he made.
As we all know, comedians will often times address controversial issues by using humor. Now there's nothing wrong with that, and in fact it can actually be a good way to do it.
In a press conference about the incident, Bill Maher stated quite frankly that it's getting so bad that you almost can't make a joke anymore without someone getting offended.
And let's not forget, the words in themselves don't mean anything. The only time that they mean something, is in the context that they are used. It is the context in which they are used is what makes them either good or bad.
So what exactly has happened, why are people getting so offended all the time over the simplest things? I honestly don't get it!
It seems like nowadays we have an entire group of people who are "professionally" offended, whether it's by an unpleasant truth, or something that perhaps doesn't fit in with their belief system.
It's supposed to be that if you found out what you believe is actually false, then you change your beliefs.
If this is indeed the age of Tolerance, that seems to me that people should be tolerant. Very simple, and no need to go into it big description of how people should be acting.
So would somebody like to take a crack at explaining what exactly happened for Society to get this way?
Not being able to stop sneezing, been going on all day, ughhh
im really not sure whats going on or even why im still alive things seem to be going shit i went to see my girlfriend after a really stressful day at work because she wanted to get a new hamster because her last one died last week usually shes not like this but she was really controlling of me and not her usual happy self she kept complainong that i dont walk properly and because i dont know much about animals she asked ne to remind her what she saw in me again i dont know if the spark is dying or if she dosent love me anymore i dont want to be alone again i dont think i would want to live if i am alone again why do relationships have to be so hard why is nothing ever easy
She was clearly in a bad mood. She might get over it, but you've seen another side of her now, so consider that before you move in all the way.
Do you want to know more about animals and her other interests? Ask her about them.
ughh this site at times I swear to god. Who cares about opinions, am I right? and also so sick of coming across aholes while playing online. Freaking children teabaging and calling you scrubs and calling you a f***ot
I recommend YouTube red, but if you don't have that just replace you with red in YouTube and that's even better. ;-)
Flush the drugs down the toilet. It's what I did with my dad's cigarettes to make him stop smoking.
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It's not really a loss if your relationship didn't even last a month.
Why are people suddenly getting banned?!
Xbox is full of kids man, always has and always will. I'd play ps4 but I like my gears of war and being able to play with mates
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I've been job hunting over the summer and I eventually applied for a GA job at a local GameStop. They called me like twenty minutes after I sent in my application and scheduled an interview the following day. So I go over the next day and I have a pretty good interview with the assistant manager, in fact, probably one of the best job interviews I ever had. She discussed my responsibilities, what the typical work day was like, what my training would be like, how much I would get paid and what hours I would work and stuff. So I was pretty confident going out. They said they would call me the following Tuesday at the latest. So for the next few days, I was constantly checking my phone and making sure I didn't let it out of my sight. Given how well the interview went, I was almost positive that I nailed the job. Tuesday passed and they still didn't call. So earlier today (or yesterday. I'm writing this at 1:30 in the morning) I decided to call in and follow up on the job. I spoke to the manager and they said they were looking at a ton of applicants and they were mostly aiming for summer seasonal workers despite the fact that I was looking for a long-term job. They said I could still get a call next week, but chances are pretty slim considering they're more interested in seasonal employment. There's a few reasons why this really pissed me off:
1: They didn't call me when they said they would call (The assistant manager said during the interview that not a ton of people go into that store, so the employees basically just hang out there and occasionally ring up customers, vacuum, and stock shelves. So it's not like they're overworked and busy all the time)
2: They never said anything about seasonal job employment on the job offer or before they scheduled the interview with me.
3: We're already more than halfway through the summer already, so offering summer seasonal job positions at this point in time doesn't make any fucking sense.
4: I wrote on the application that I was looking for long term work. So if you didn't choose to read over my application before scheduling an interview with me, that's your own fucking fault. And if you did read my application and knew ahead of time that I wasn't what you were looking for, you really have the audacity to interview me anyway and then just leave me in the dark afterwards and screw me over? A simple no would've been fine. I mean, I've been rejected from other jobs before, but they at least sent me emails flat out saying that I didn't get the job. They didn't pull any of this flaky bullshit that you spewed at me.
5: Even if you are still interested in me and are considering calling me next week, why the hell didn't you tell me this on the day you said you would fucking call me? Why the fuck did I have to call YOU in order to get this information? Like I said, they basically just hang out in the store all day. So they had plenty of fucking time to do that.
6: If you were mostly looking for seasonal workers, couldn't you have sent me a rejection call or a rejection email explaining that? No wait. That would actually require you to read my application or to have any fucking idea what you're doing. God knows you guys can't do that.
I hate job hunting. It's such a fucking nightmare. Damn. It felt good to get all that out. I've been keeping that bottled up for hours.