Donald Trump Reviews TellTalegames games
Just like it says America...Will review TellTalegames catalogue.....first will be the Walking Dead Season 1
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Just like it says America...Will review TellTalegames catalogue.....first will be the Walking Dead Season 1
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Donald Trump reviews S1e1
Hello America, this is your next president here. Today I am going to blow your minds with this most insightful review of The Walking Dead...episode numero uno.
First impression...graphics so weak. I am sure if I owned the company, the graphics would be amazing. Simply the best graphics ever.
Ok a police car...now that's an impressive chin, you know the FOP support Donald J. Trump, just saying...They understand that I know more about law enforcement than anyone. Black man in the back, very sad. This is what Hillary's years in politics has done. Hmmm senatorial mess, probably a democrat, typical.
Distracted driving, listen to me, very bad...keep your eyes on the road..or your driver's eyes.
Ok they have wrecked....blood everywhere...Epic Fail. I would not have gotten into that mess in the first place, I am very rich and know important people. Oh well....ok how the hell do you get out of the car. I always have a driver, ok...alright there we go. The thing about the blacks...long legs..makes it easier to break windows.
Ok getting out of these cuffs...wait..wasn't the officer's body right out the window? Making me walk on this bad leg, game programmers are sadistic. Holy hell...the officer is after me, much like women they all want me.
Ok shot him, so conflicted...losing a voter like that. Ok a little girl...hopefully she is going to go get me some help.
Ok guess not. Why the hell does he keep tripping? Get your shit together!
A wall?! Whew , good thing he got over it, probably has had a lot of success climbing into people's yards. Small house....zombies want in!!!! Fence is holding them back...hear that Mexicans...the fence will work. Gun fire...Ok the zombies are moving off. Luckily the NRA backs my campaign!
Stop yelling for help!! Failure! Ok house is a mess inside...lots of blood, very sad. Ok so parents in Savannah, beautiful city filled with my supporters. Babysitter...Interesting, hopefully she isn't a fatty. A walkie talkie in a kitchen drawer, sure why not. Little girl, sounds cute...in tree house. Crappy tree house, let me tell you I know about construction, a Trump tree house would be a thing of beauty.
The Hell!! Zombie...nice rack though....why does he keep slipping......Ok little girl has opened the sliding glass door...I died...fuck..stupid little girl just stood there with a hammer not doing anything.
Ok I grab the hammer from her and kill the creature. Very bloody.
Who names their child Clementine? Great now I got this kid to take care of...typical liberalism. Cute though...too young.
Ok out to the street. Shawn and Chet....Chet? This is why I hate leaving my tower.
Great...a farm. That Herschel does not trust Lee...my type of Man....bet he is a supporter. Barn, well at least there are blankets. Wait these are not silk...the hell? Ok Kenny seems nice...wife though, very heavy. Kid dumb as a post.
Helping with a fence to keep undesirable types out...this is Trump country. Cannot catch a break with Herschel.
Who to save...someone stupid like Duck or Shawn....Kenny you fucker!!
Yay Macon, beginning to hate Georgia. The fuck...Duck is in trouble again!! Gunshot...Ok inside a drugstore. He'll yes we are going to kick Duck out. Finally someone with some sense...I like Larry. Toilet Zombie!!! Tripped again??
Two good looking women...though one is a liberal...with a gun...typical hypocrite. Why is there no seduce button? I would hit that button so hard tell keyboard would crack.
Asian going to go get supplies...the are a whiley and inscrutable people. Getting these meds..not easy. Ok so senator was banging my wife and I killed him. Pfft..no reason to kill...always more women.
How the hell does Carley not understand batteries??
The Asian is stuck...so me and the reporter have to go rescue him.
The Motel, negative five stars...not a Trump establishment. Well the Asian was easy to rescue....Ok some woman hiding on the second floor. Always room for more women I say.
Big boobs...nice....she is bit...not so nice. I would still hit that. No way not giving her that gun.....Great killed herself.
Back at the pharmacy...Ok keys are on the brother. Got them. Lilly happy with me...I am going to get laid!!!
Alarm!!#
Oh crap save Carley or Deadman I mean Doug...sorry Doug, you have no vagina.
Larry you son of a bitch!!!
Motel...truly this is hell on Earth...no electricity now...so sad.
Give it four hot chicks outta five.
You are not Trump, you didn't mention China enough.
It is pronounced Ghina!
LOL. This is funny, and boy does The Donald make it difficult for his supporters. :-(
Now do one for Clinton.
Reading this in his voice is perfection. Your efforts were trumphant! Ha ha, I'll go die in a corner now.
God no, I can't stand Trump (I can't stand Hillary either to be honest, picking between them is like picking which turd is the best looking turd), I just thought it would be funny to see one for her as well. I'm not someone who gets overly offended or triggered by something some people say.
You make me sad.
I would one for her, but the only trouble is that for all her strengths and weaknesses...her personality is hard to mock.....I will try though with a Hillary reviews S1e2.
Do all 2 seasons, please.
Trump, quick question. Did you fund the manufacturing of Wellington walls before the outbreak? Were you like " Walkers are invading are skools. We need to bulid a wall"?
The walls at Wellington are magnificent, so very proud of the team. Got a good deal on steel from Ghina...had the metal just doing nothing in one of my yards. Luckily through the use of American labor we built those wall...so amazing. Only difference between the Walkers and the Mexicans is that walkers do less rape. So proud of American walkers. People are saying that Mexican walkers are breaking laws daily, so sad.
That's kinda off. I found out that American criminals do rape more then both the walkers and Mexicans here.
I think that there are more American walkers breaking the law in America then the Mexican walkers. Sigh, why can't the good walkers see the American Melting Pot?
Thread: Should I do more Trump reviews?
The Hillary review was just meh...she is sorta boring....thinking of doing more Trump reviews...if you want more just tell me.
You are doing a great job, and if you actually feel like doing some, go right ahead!
Donald Trump reviews S1e3
Hello America, Donald J. Trump here to give you another review from the heart.
First I would just like to state for the record, my choices were way better choices than Crooked Hillary's. Lilly and I are still solid, now that her father is gone, it is only a matter of time before she falls for my charms.
With that stated, many of you have asked what I am playing the game on. I am playing it on a laptop, the very best laptop, believe me. I have a table set up in front of my gold plated toilet bowl. I find the best time to play is after 3 am.
Episode 3 Long Road Ahead
Ok where are we....Oh right Macon. Cute backpack, fail. Ok where are the zombies? Kenny must be made of steel...survived that bullet in episode two.
Yeah Kenny, killing people's fathers tend to cause emotional damage.
Weak ass ladder, if I made ladders you can bet that they would be fantastic ladder, so worth the money.
Ugh pulling on wenches usually more enjoyable than this. Why does TellTalegames make us work? Hah take that ladder! This solution I can tell you was considered a secret solution until I figured it out. So yes just pull the wench and hook it up to the big rig, you're welcome world.
What's with the screaming? They hire the made to do the voice of the screaming woman? Quiet down Consuela!
Finally Kenny has an idea I support. Back into the pharmacy....again. TellTalegames, just an idea, if you want to ever be even slightly successful you need more than the pharmacy and motel to keep people interested. FAIL!
Woman still screaming, lazy walkers...probably Mexicans, so sad. Grabbing up things like a BOSS...Woman is silent...Back to scrubbing floors Consuela.
Holy crap....thanks for the no help Kenny, what can you expect from someone who is so stupid that his stupidity manifested itself into that deamon spawn Duck. And his wife is fat, just saying.
Back to the motel....hmmm arrows in the wall. That wall looks flimsy, pathetic.
Is it me or does Lilly look happy to see me? That's why you have a fatty, Kenny. Just saying, you should be cool and so sophisticated like me.
Carley wants to talk to me after I talk to Lilly? Lil Trumpy is going to get LAID!!!
Someone is stealing the drugs....gotta be the black, not racists...wait I am playing him....well I am out of ideas....Oh Duck wants to help? Sure Duck, I am sure you want to see a real man in action. Robin....Dick Grayson? I do not get hip hop.
That's first part..heh...rest in a bit.
Get.out.
These are pretty funny but I would suggest putting them in one thread to avoid confusion.
Chill out. I'm not even live in USA.
I don't care about Donald Trump.
I'm sure Trump would be so disappointed there was no "Grab em by the pussy" option.
Yeah...Will do that as soon as ep3 is finished...guess for sanity sake I should do a episode 2....any idea how many episodes season three will be?
Donald Trump reviews S1e3
Clementine, so cute. Leaf rubbing looks nice, such a sweet girl. Nope she did not break the flashlight. This investigation is taking longer than I thought.
Carley kissed me on the cheek...where the hell is the seduce button TellTalegames? Failures!
Blabbed about my past...figure it will help street cred...lol Kenny asks me if it was for touching a child....Lol money makes those allegations go away.
Broken glass on the ground, Kenny's lil piggy forgot to clean it up, we so need a maid.
Clementine lost her pink chalk, so sad...Duck found it by the gate...leave him hanging...high fives are for winners.
Hmmm interesting...drugs in the air duct. My cocaine comes in discreet Chinese food boxes. Ok who could it be....the black?.Noo focus Donald, that I s your character. Carley? Maybe, liberal with questionable morals...also a reporter. Ben? No, fine upstanding American. Kenny, well God knows you would have to be hella stoned to marry Katjaa....Katjaa? Very heavy, weak willed...ding ding ding.
Lilly wants to line everyone up....the Hell? Bandits,...more likely banditos. Guns everywhere....and here come the Walkers as well.
That RV ever going to start? You know back in the eighties I was offered a chance to buy the Gulfstream RV company. Decided against it, very shakey market and given how bad this RV is sounding..I made a good choice.
Ok Carley is safe in the RV.....just thinking...Lilly and Carley at once in the RV toilet...so glad my wife never reads these.
Clementine and Miss Piggy and Duck need rescue...Noooo you stay away from Clementine zombies....she is only 5 short years away from 13!!! Whew safe....and now Lilly is on.
I call the bed...just saying.
Uh oh, Lilly wants to call a star chamber and find out who was stealing.
We cannot do it right now...we are on the road....well how about that we hit something and need to pull over. Maybe I can blame Obama for this.
Things are getting testy..noooooooo. Lilly killed Carley...Kenny wants to leave her...no way...I can save her....why is there no seduce button? FAIL! Leave her then...this game is losing points.
Duck is bitten?.......YES!!!! Points added back!!
Poor Clementine, she needs comfort. These games are the feel good stories we need in Obama's America, so sad.
A wrecked train...such a fitting metaphor for Crooked Hillary's campaign.
Rolls of steel are strewn all over the place, part of me is saddened by the realization that the great steel mills in China are now silent, all those cute little Ghinamen probably now gnawing people instead of dogs. Very sad.
I am also reminded that there is no more KFC or Big Macs....and no more massive slices of New York style Pizza...so good.
Water on a freight train? It does not say Amtrak on the side. Women.
Ok now I have this sweet ass wrench to bash heads with. I wonder if the debate commission would care if I bludgeon Hillary to death...the ratings would be epic, so huge. My base would love that.
Ok, here we go, there is a walker in the engineering compartment...Ben has my back....why am I not reassured? False alarm, he was killed during the derail, such a failure.
Ok I am all suspension of disbelief, but how did Ben know that was the airbreak release? Idiot savant maybe? Well well now Kenny is interested in the train...I am going to the box car. Water! Wait why am I excited, Katjaa is a fatty...oh well in the apocalypse you can not be too choosy...and a map...this train will take us to Savannah. This is why I would make such a great President. I make sure of things like this and provide for the lower classes every four years.
Ok that bed roll in there freaked me out, I had to take a few minutes to wash off...Very filthy, so filthy.
Gave Kat the water, poor Clementine is so devastated. Then again the silence we are going through right now is very peaceful. Duck would never shut his mouth, vast improvement, so happy.
Ok got a pencil from the RV and used it on the notepad in the cabin...engine start-up sequence...Genius Trump is on the case.....Wait where is 9?
After 2 hours of running around I had Ivanka look it up...apparently it is on the side of the train. And we are stuck to the wreckage. FAIL!!
Ok unhooked it...the fuck!!!! A Hobo...where is the kill command? Chuck....Charles if I am fancy...Gave the kids candy.....right, I know that move. Some ecstasy in a drink or whatever and they are very agreeable...me and Bill Cosby used to go bar hopping back in the day, very fine Gentleman, in some trouble these days, very sad.
Ok the train is moving yes several tons of metal vs. Zombies...I like those odds. Well now I need to get the train stopped...looks like the end for Duck.
Zippity do dah. Zippity A....my oh my what wonderful...Oh hey Kenny...need to stop the train.
Fucker wants to fight....well Donald J. Trump is nothing if not agreeable to a good fight.
Well thank god he saw reason after beating the shit out of me...These controls are to blame, very bad.
Oh I will shoot him...you know for the parents sake
Clementine is sad, I tell her I am going to make sure he never comes back, what is this water coming out of my eyes? The Feels....no wait just very happy I get to kill Duck.
#Fattycide !!
Come on Kenny, it is not like she was a fine looking woman, like I hang out with..just saying.
Poor Duck with that vacant expression...reminds me of Ted Cruz. Shot him!!!
Well train is really moving...Clementine tells me that Chuck said she would die like Duck...going to kick his ass.
Well for a hobo, he does make some points. Kenny is such a downer, wonder what is eating him...oh right. So easy to forget.
Well that's one nasty hair cut. See my hair is great, have only the best stylist even touch it. I have been told it feels the way an angel's hair must feel, so soft.
Taught Clemmy to shoot...this should bolster my support from the NRA.
Hey Booze!!!
Chuck likes his liquor...offers it to anyone...I bet Kenny would like some...yoink...yes yoink...I watched Scooby doo. Got the map....
Ben you fucker!!! I would have thrown him over the rail...the writers are so weak.
Ok now we have a plan...going to find her parents. I have been to the Marsh house, a very splendid establishment, so nice.
#Kennycanyell
How can we hear that backwards Florida fishing boat rat from the cabin?
Well, we cannot just charge through that tanker. Kenny is sorta losing it.
New People....one of them is a woman
...so horny now...just grab that pussy....Wait his name is Akmed?
Great Muslims bringing sharia law to the apocalypse. Oh Omid....Omid or Akmed...sound Muslim to me. Still going to nail Christa.
Well guess I am going to those buildings to see if there is anything handy. Awww, Clementine is so eager to be put into deadly situations....yeah she will be dead by episode 5....unlike me with my street smarts and keen sense of self preservation.
Needless to say, things went to shit in that building...luckily one of my kids, hell do not even remember his name got me out of that...oh here is Christa to give me grief....she so wants the Donald. And now we have a Blowtorch.
Why cannot anything be easy...the house has a leak....luckily there was tape in the truck. A zillion zombies....life is so complicated. Oh good the tanker wrecked the ladder down....Akmed and I will have to jump.
Akmed needed help jumping...somehow he survived
The Radio works????. Who is that bastard?
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Episode 2 season 1...
I am going to be honest with you America, this episode is a little disturbing...sorta disturbing in the way Denny's customers creep you out. Especially at 2 am.
Episode 2: Starved for Help
Well we are hunting.....zombie got our rabbit. Who the hell is Mark? Ok he had a lot of food and joined the group...now food is running out ok....possibly gay, just saying.
Everyone is getting cranky...Larry still hates me, probably knows that his daughter wants me...I can understand that. No harm no foul.
I was eating some Taco Bell while playing this...so if I come off a little unsympathetic to their plight...it is because I am enjoying fine Mexican cuisine.
Getting a vibe that Mark is working up to telling me how he feels about me, luckily there is a scream of such pain and terror the mood is destroyed. Cue the music....
So this guy stepped on a bear trap and Mark the expert hunter says it has been tampered with. Two teenaged boys, great just what I need...young virile boys that will hit on the women I aim to hit on...Trumpster not happy
.
Well I guess we will have to cut the leg off this guy. Why is it always me that has to do these things...Well I guess it is good to get in the mindset of shepherding brainless losers...going to be doing it after inauguration.
I do not know which is worse...the fact that the axe is dull or the sound of breaking bones, you know things are easier when you have people put in the trunks of cars that get crushed. This hands on stuff is a little hard.
#OhHellYes One of the boys just got eaten...1 down...1 to go.
Well Lilly is not happy to see us. All this anger is just her way of hiding her burning desire for me...oh yes, going to grab that soon.
So as a way to punish me I have to hand out the food... let's see...nothing for Katjaa, very heavy. Thanks Mark for annoying Larry....you get some jerky...Larry gets crackers...Carley refused...foolish, she gets to skinny sex would be like humping a xylophone. Lilly got some....and an Apple for me. Don't look at me like that...those kids will be fine...but if the adults starve to death then they are screwed...plus fuck Duck. And I saw Clementine playing with bugs...she will get the idea soon.
Holy Hades...that guy died despite my impressive surgical skills...obviously Katjaa messed up. Kenny is sick of that shit...
Omg the guy is a zombie now...Larry kill it with the axe...THE FUCK...he missed.....I am going to die...thank god for Carley.
Fucking kid...not telling us he was bitten.....wait we all are infected? That is so messed up. This is why Iive in a golden tower folks, just saying.
More tomorrow...
Ok America...back to the review....oh and I know you all understand locker room banter...no one is more respectful of women than me.
Carley notices that there are two strange men blinking outside the gate. Andrew and Danny St. John...finally some normal red blooded Americans, so happy. They want to trade us some food for gas...they live on a Dairy.
See, I told you that the children will be ok. Trust me, I have a nose for these things.
So I and Carley and Ben and Mark go with the St. John's to the dairy. Along the way we are witnesses to two interesting individuals having a bit of a disagreement. Tempers are high,very sad, this is what 7 years of Obama has done to them. I promise you this, when elected this world will be safe for all Americans.
Well this escalated...murder right in the open. I have mentioned that murder is on the rise...yet they keep using these so called facts that say otherwise. I ask you this, is it normal to see a murder that isn't taking place at midnight at a construction site with a guy in chains crying out for mercy as cement is poured on him? Not in my America.
Oh well, at least the farm is sorta quaint. The brothers mother, Brenda, very heavy...she has biscuits!!
This is quite a setup they have. They use generators and amps to power these electric fences....the zombies fry like bugs in a zapper....I love these people!!! I so want to live here...food and safety and the real Americans the mainstream media forget.
Well Mark and I have decided to try and make the St. John's like us... I even fix the swing in the yard...it was broken, nothing sadder than a broken swing...sad children with nothing to do, very sad.
Well now Mark and I are checking the fence for any walkers who are stuck on the fence. You know...charred walker sorta has a way of making you forget how hungry you are.....TellTalegames really like making us use the Q key.
Bandits shot Mark with an arrow, very bad news. Ok I have absolutely no idea how we are going to get out of this...could give them Mark...only the game won't let me.
Ok I find this highly unlikely that this tractor would just keep rolling like this...of course zombies are unlikely as well...oh fuck it....anyway we make it out and get back just in time for the group to panic over an arrow hanging out of Mark's back
Brenda and Katjaa see to mark...Lilly as usual is having a fit...she needs a dose of Lil Trumpy to take that edge off her...and when I say Lil Trumpy...I mean my penis, so huge.
Of course Duck is bogarting the swing and making skeleton Clementine wait...To make sure I was able to protect Clementine, I kept 80% of her rations for myself...do not look at me like that...see where we are...that's right...food is incoming, she will recover...probably. I think I have gained a couple of pounds.
Danny wants to go scout for the bandits camp so we can get some retribution on them. I am all for that...if there is anything I know better than anyone else, it is the value of reprisals.
Ok this camp seems little small..not like my giant hands, not main camp. Empty cans and trash...no self respecting new York rat would live here. Very sad. If I am president, there will be golden PowerShot everyone and then we can watch the Canadians try and get far superior U.S. medical care.
A camcorder...no power, so sad...a camcorder could be fun with a Trump sandwich with Carley and Lilly as the buns....sigh.
Clementine's hat?!
#Joleneisgoingtoshootmeinthenuts:(
Crazy woman had crossbow aimed at my favorite jewels...shot her. Danny complements my shooting...I am feeling this Bromance.
Back to the Dairy...what a surprise...Lilly and Kenny are arguing. Well the barn smells....how cute, the kids are gathered around the cow...
#Clementine LickedASaltlick I guess I should have fed her more.
Kenny is suspicious of the brothers...guess I should see what is behind the door. Lol You're Urban right? Have to use that in a campaign speech.
Ok these multi tools are awesome, well I think....hear the construction drones talk about them at times. The generator is easy to sabotage.
Ok this room reminds me of one the places where my friends would persuade someone to sign over the deed to some prime land. I guess the Dairy business is as cutthroat as construction. Andy says it is for dressing deer, makes sense.
Hmmm dinner smells delicious...going to get washed up....Hmmm upstairs, very suspicious. Morphine...Pfft Cocaine is my fave. Secret room?!
Holy Shit!!! Mark has no legs, very sad. Cannibals......most stop people from eating Mark's legs, maybe we can get them reattached.
Well perhaps running into the dining room and spewing out accusations like I did was a bad idea. I admit it, I could have been cooler about it. Rifle butt to the face hurts.
Lilly is puking up her guts...Clementine is safe...Larry is making a racket...the St. John's have Duck and Katjaa and we are stuck in a meat locker. This is not what I would call a good situation.
#Heart Attack it seems living on constant anger and fear and jun food is bad for your heart...not like me...I would be the most healthy president ever, believe me.
Lilly is trying to revive him with CPR and wants my help. Kenny as per usual jumps to conclusions and just wants to kill Larry. I really do not care for Kenny or Larry, but Lilly has a vagina. So that makes the decision easy.
#Kenny is a killer
Well I always though Larry was a blockhead. Oh great Kenny you traumatised Clementine. You and I are done professionally.
Ok the air conditioner can come off...need a coin...Clementine has a rock....ROCKS ARE NOT COINS...get your shit together Clementine...I know you are starving but think!
Lilly and I are solid....I get the coins out of his pocket....that air conditioner comes off real easy. No power cord....just how do they power...oh fuck it.
Well we send Clementine through the vent, so scary. She opens the door. Revenge time!
There is a sweet assortment of weapons...I grab the scythe. Danny is sitting out in the rain like some idiot...ahhh crap here is Andy. Kenny and I hide....ahhh so Kenny wants me to peak...why is it always me.
Danny thinks we are playing a game....oh we are. It is called Revenge Mother Fucker!
Shit he has his gun pointed at me....we struggle...Kenny freezes like a little bitch. Lilly to the rescue.
Hey Danny...Fork you!! I do not know why my movie career never took off.
Kenny goes running off..guess I should go help.
Carley and Ben...tell them to find a back way in.....
Storming bad, so wet.
Brenda has Katjaa and a gun to her head...Ok she shot me. LET HER GO BITCH....dead again.....moved too much dead again...Fuck you TellTalegames....
Finally Brenda was chopped on by zombie Mark
Katjaa safe
Andy...fight...these qte are so unfair....Lilly saves me. Andy is now dead.
How is Kenny not dead?
Going back to the motel, better get laid...all I am saying.
Kenny you are no hero. But you did swing that block like a boss.
An abandoned car...ugh Duck's stupid face...
Clementine does not want take the food...ARE YOU INSANE?
#New Hoodie!!
Camcorder message is sad, so sad.
Larry and Mark dead...Lilly grateful to me... TRUMPY getting laid!!!!!
5 out of 5
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Episode 4 season 1
Around Every Corner
Around Every Corner, sounds like my life right now America. The Mainstream media keeps digging up these women that claim yours truly is some kind of sexual deviant. There is no one on this planet that respects women more than me, just ask Ivanka.
At the end of the last episode, Kenny and I discovered that the walkie talkie Clementine so loves actually works. While she with held this important information from me...I forgive her. I have a forgiving nature, so forgiving. However, I have to wonder who it is she has been talking to.
For now I am holding on to the walkie as we make our way to the waterfront to get a boat and get outta here.
Last episode we lost 4 people, if only those people were Crooked Hillary, Paul Ryan, Ted Cruz and Rosie...I woukd be doing good...happy, so damn happy. But unfortunately those people are safe. No we lost Katjaa, no loss there. Duck, again no biggie. Lilly
and Carley 
Trumpy is not happy., so sad.
Savannah is a beautiful city. During the Civil War it surrendered to Sherman rather than be burnt to the ground...so I guess it is the Paris of Georgia, very cowardly. The old mansions that line this street have a beauty that you just cannot find any more. The were built during a wonderful time in America when labor was cheap, so cheap. And better yet there were no unions. If elected I hope to make America that great again.
So we lost 4 people but we gained 3 new ones. There is Chuck, a useless Hobo. Omid a Muslim who probably snuck into the country on Obama's watch. And Christa...a very fine, if a bit thin, woman. I would not kick her off my tower if you know what I mean
The streets are empty...no walkers or survivors to be seen, it is...wierd. Christa says we need to stop for a rest...apparently Omid hurt his leg somehow. I agree..I mean sheesh all this walking..I wish we had a Limo.
As we are talking it over the church bell nearest us starts to toll. Kenny says it is just on a timer...at 20 after the hour?! Think Kenny you idiot!!!
I just happen to be looking up as someone...man? WOMAN? is running along the roof of a church. Naturally I am the only one with keen eyesight and get doubted by Ben of all people, should back hand him into Oblivion. Then the radio comes to life and the voice on the other end tells us we should get out of the street. Christa is a bit pissed that we did not tell her about the radio. What is the problem, there is no way it can come back and bite me.
The walkers appear, following the tolling of the iron bell...we need to get out of here...Kenny starts heading to the waterfront, but another group of walkers are coming from that direction. Obviously we are going to have to find some place to wait this out...Kenny not watching where he is going trips and has a walker on him....I take careful aim, now is the time to thin the herd of men in this group...and it can be so sad that I saddly hit Kenny.
Sadly for me I miss Kenny and skullcap the walker on him, yay I am a hero.
Ben and Clementine are surrounded by walkers, luckily Ben owes me for not throwing his ass off the train and will help save Clemmy.
#Fucker Ran
I start blasting walkers but there are so darn many, luckily Chuck isn't a total waste of life and comes charging in with a shovel. Together we are able to save the little girl. Chuck tells us to run...he will catch up with us later. I feel good about Chuck now..I am sure that he and I will have tons of time to get to know each other and to toast our mutual bravery.
We make it to the backyard of one of the mansions. Clementine asks me if I think we are safe...I tell her no, not a liar folks...sometimes the truth is a bitter pill to swallow...but swallow it you most mother fucking will. That was fan service by the way.
Omid is worse, needs to get inside so we can clean out that wound or it may get infected.
I take the time to issue a threat to Ben...I think he peed himself, I truly do.
Well Kenny the master of unlocking is having issue with the door...I look around and notice a pet door....but it is locked.seemingly out of nowhere it is Omid who knows about them. That of course makes a scary sort of sense, as I am sure the electronics in it can be used to make a bomb.
So where is the dog. This is very sad folk, the dog is dead and buried. And stinky....OMG....Christa pukes her guts out..Kenny just stands around being useless as I get the collar. Oh wow that was nasty...ok just hold the collar near the pet door and click.
Did you know pet doors are too small for people to get through..I did not know that, but now I am painfully aware of this fact. Luckily Clementine is feeling suicidal and gets us in. Great job goofball.
Our string of great luck holds out as there is no food to be found in the place...not even dog food
Clementine tells us that the voice on the other end is friendly and just wants to help...See no problems.
Luckily not all is lost as Kenny finds a walker in the attic that looks like Duck...Oh TellTaleGames you silly sadists. Guess who has to bury it? While doing so I spot someone watching me...fucker coulda helped. Kenny gets spooked and wants to get a boat NOW.
It is decided that Kenny and I will head down to the harbor and check on the boats while everyone else rests up.
Kenny is not in what you would call a talkative mood as we head to the water, and whats more someone just rang another church bell. Seriously this place is trying to kill us. Luckily this time the bell works in our favor and we make it to the harbor.
GUESS WHAT....NO BOATS
Kenny thinks he may be able to fix a half sunk one...he sends me to look through a telescope to see if I can find any others. While going to the telescope I see a wall made out of walkers impaled on all sorts of shit...Truly someone built the wall and made the walkers pay for it.
I need coins..man if only I had some coins..you know some useful coins perhaps taken from a corpse or something..ohh fuck it I go and rob a newspaper rack.
Kenny explains that the boat is wrecked...and is blown away by the sheer majesty of the walker wall. I look for a boat via the telescope....stupid Muslims could never come up with something like this. Nope no boats...hey someone is climbing down the side of a building and heading our way.
Kenny wants to get some answers...I am all for that..but just talking.
Well I get my ass kicked again...woulda got killed but Little miss Suicide saves me. Really are the other adults in this group so useless they cannot watch a little girl and make sure she does not do something like go chasing people in a walker infested city?
Woah...another woman
Kenny gets his ass handed to him.
Molly asks if we are from Crawford...those the lovely people who made the wall. Nope...just wondering which of the walkers are the load bearing walkers.
Crawford sounds like a fun place if you are into Lord of the Flies...otherwise I think it would be best if we stayed away from them...speaking of staying away....the walkers are back!
Molly after some begging helps Kenny and Clem up to a fire escape...Poor me I have to borrow her ice axe and go into the sewers.
#Chuck Is Chucked RIP HOBO
Find my way to a fallout shelter...and Cancer survivors? Apparently these guys were part of Crawford but then had to escape and lay low or else join the wall patrol. Crawford sounds pretty AWESOME!!
Vernon the leader offers to help me back to the mansion where my group is.
Kenny is having a pity party, drinking the booze...Ben sits beside him, letting him do it. I give Molly her axe back and go looking for Clementine, I find her...she had found a BOAT....Kenny is happy.
Vernon looks at Omid and tells us he is going to die unless we get some anti biotics....I tell him we do not have money to make Omid stronger and faster....he clarifies that he means medicine and not cybernetic leg replacements. I suggest we sneak into Crawford. Everyone agrees..I tell Clem that she has to stay...she is pouty but it is for her own good.
Vernon comes back at midnight brings Brie a very heavy woman with him...she knows the layout f the school where they are liable to have everything we need.
Well big bad Crawford has fallen to the Walkers...we get to the command center...only alerting about four thousand walkers..it's cool.
Molly and I go get a battery for the boat. Much hilarity as she kicks the shit out of a bald walker. Walkers are sad because they do not have lovely heads of hair like mine.
Well getting the battery was noisier than I anticipated...the car alarm draws the walker..Molly wants me. We escape to the roof of the auto shop and I leap to the other side and have to coax a frightened Molly into jumping after me. Luckily we make it back...she goes exploring with the battery ...I head back to the CC.
Kenny and Brie come busting through the doors to the stairway...walkers on their butts...I use my hatchet to keep the doors closed. They have the gas.
Been had one job and that was to get into the armory...FAIL. I go see how Vernon and Christa are doing with the meds....they are trapped by walkers...I save the day. Camcorder tapes may have the safe combo..I go back out to the walker that Molly was going all Ultra violence on and get a tape and locker combo. The locker has another tape.
Tapes reveal that Crawford forced abortions on women...so sad...I am anti-abortion now that I realised that evangelicals would support me even though they find other things I am into terrible.
We get the meds...I stay to watch the other tape...I re-watch it several times. Molly serviced the doctor to save her sister. No shame in that..and a damn good show.
Molly scares me I confront her about the tape...turning tricks to get her sister proper medical care...damn Obama!
I see Ben he was looking for tools to help get into the armory...he grabbed the hatchet that was holding the stairway doors shut. Ben panicks and tells Kenny it was his fault that Katjaa and Duck are dead...Kenny takes it well.
Brie gets killed and we have fun climbing to the top of the bell tower of the school. I shoot like a zillion and one walkers and Ben gets grabbed by a walker...I let Ben go We get back to the Mansion.
Clementine shot a walker while we were gone
Omid gets his meds and Molly leaves.
Vernon wants to talk accuses me of being a man of questionable moral character...says he will take Clemmy. Tell him to go fuck himself.
Explain to Clementine that we do not have time to go find her parents....fall asleep and dream of Christa and Molly and Lilly and Carley I bet
Clementine is missing....
I GET BIT!! I smash the walker's head in...show the others the bite....tell them that Vernon talked about taking Clem ...Omid and Christa want to come help....Kenny the fucker says no.
We get to the shelter and....no one is there!!
Clementine on the radio...then the voice...tells me to watch what I say....I am so boned
To be concluded in Ep. 5
Episode 5 season 1
Episode 1 season 2
Episode 2 season 2
Episode 3 season 2
Episode 4 season 2
Episode 5 season 2
What the... ?
I can merge your older threads together, but they will also have the responses to those threads (unless you would like me to flag those responses)
Go ahead...need to just have the one thread:)
With your hashtag, you can put a space in front of it so it does not become large text.
Like this...
#example
...instead of this....
example
I merged the threads and added some formatting to indicate when threads were merged. Let me know if you need anything else. Otherwise, happy posting.
Thanks you are the best.