That was a great part! I loved how the two stories connected.
I think I might have to choose [Return to the car.]. I feel like something bad might happen to Lana if we don't.
But then... Hmm... Well, it looks like the rest of the votes are for going to the hospital, so my vote doesn't really matter. I guess that takes the pressure off.
Thomas Callahan, 01-04: Sleep deeply or dream of different things. It was thought, a whisper. He didn’t think it was his own, but there was … moreno way to be sure.
Much later, Thomas became ever so conscious of the droplets of water peppering his bare skin. There was a damp, itchy sensation that stretched along the entirety of his backside and a chill that penetrated his naked flesh. The sound of thunder coerced him into opening his eyes. He stared up at the treetops that were silhouetted against a dark gray sky, consisting of heavy rainclouds, squinting as water met his eyes.
He tried to sit up and pain raced up and down his body, an unexpected whimper escaping his throat while his eyes clenched shut. He recalled losing consciousness and presumed that was followed by a crash. Suddenly, the thought of moving and further disturbing an injury became daunting. He got to his feet cautiously, then promptly fell back onto his knees upon seeing the… [view original content]
Thomas Callahan, 01-04: Sleep deeply or dream of different things. It was thought, a whisper. He didn’t think it was his own, but there was … moreno way to be sure.
Much later, Thomas became ever so conscious of the droplets of water peppering his bare skin. There was a damp, itchy sensation that stretched along the entirety of his backside and a chill that penetrated his naked flesh. The sound of thunder coerced him into opening his eyes. He stared up at the treetops that were silhouetted against a dark gray sky, consisting of heavy rainclouds, squinting as water met his eyes.
He tried to sit up and pain raced up and down his body, an unexpected whimper escaping his throat while his eyes clenched shut. He recalled losing consciousness and presumed that was followed by a crash. Suddenly, the thought of moving and further disturbing an injury became daunting. He got to his feet cautiously, then promptly fell back onto his knees upon seeing the… [view original content]
You mean it is more plausible than that theory that Lana has a split personality which is secretly a serial killer? Surely you must be jesting, because the Evil Lana theory was the most plausible and thought-out theory I ever had!
Well, to my defense, she was about the first of your characters I knew about that hasn't been evil in some capacity On top of that, once I had this thought, it made a scary amount of sense and I just couldn't get it out of my head again. The more I thought about it, the more it made sense. One thing led to the other and in the end, I created a beautiful masterpiece of a theory. Truly one of my finest moments.
That said, that theory admittedly kinda came a little bit out of nowhere when looked at from a certain perspective. With such magnificent skills in blowing things out of proportion, twisting the facts, focussing on paranoia and half-truths and making outright wrong things sound plausible, I should consider a career in politics. Those skills currently seem to be in high demand there.
Yeah I guess Lana was the odd woman out of the roster with serial killers, crazy people and whatever the heck I can even call some of them. I still can't believe you came up with something like that when we first met her though. I remember I was paranoid you would try to get Lana killed based on your suspicion that her 'Crazy psychopath personality' killed Alex, which was ironically very hard to convince you of considering the theory was already so prominent for you even though you made the evidence yourself.
Well, to my defense, she was about the first of your characters I knew about that hasn't been evil in some capacity On top of that, once I … morehad this thought, it made a scary amount of sense and I just couldn't get it out of my head again. The more I thought about it, the more it made sense. One thing led to the other and in the end, I created a beautiful masterpiece of a theory. Truly one of my finest moments.
That said, that theory admittedly kinda came a little bit out of nowhere when looked at from a certain perspective. With such magnificent skills in blowing things out of proportion, twisting the facts, focussing on paranoia and half-truths and making outright wrong things sound plausible, I should consider a career in politics. Those skills currently seem to be in high demand there.
I think that was the problem, her being such an odd one compared to your other characters. Hell, I believe you have submitted Rose to Forum of Thrones very shortly before I came up with that theory, so forgive my initial scepticism about Lana being an okay person, I think after reading through Rose's character submission it is not too far fetched to assume you did something similar with Lana. But do not worry, I would have never tried to get her killed out of mere (and admittedly far-fetched) suspicion. I wouldn't have even tried to get Luke killed out of mere suspicion and my real hatred at him arguably only started once he was confirmed. Unless I have a very good reason to believe that a character will be dangerous to those I like, I don't need to take such precautionary measures.
Yeah I guess Lana was the odd woman out of the roster with serial killers, crazy people and whatever the heck I can even call some of them. … moreI still can't believe you came up with something like that when we first met her though. I remember I was paranoid you would try to get Lana killed based on your suspicion that her 'Crazy psychopath personality' killed Alex, which was ironically very hard to convince you of considering the theory was already so prominent for you even though you made the evidence yourself.
Thank you for debunking that. I do still fear that the legendary liquid wrath will one day turn to one of mine....oh what a dreaded day will that be. Yeah....Rose. Yeah its hard not to see me make a character like that and assume the small town country girl would just be a mask to another monster. Then again Rose was a very special case if you remember. So I can confirm to you that Lana is basically a polar opposite as you might have already seen from her attitude.
That being said I will honestly admit that Lana DOES have a few secrets, but when I made her I was trying to make a good but extremely flawed person so take that as you will.
I think that was the problem, her being such an odd one compared to your other characters. Hell, I believe you have submitted Rose to Forum … moreof Thrones very shortly before I came up with that theory, so forgive my initial scepticism about Lana being an okay person, I think after reading through Rose's character submission it is not too far fetched to assume you did something similar with Lana. But do not worry, I would have never tried to get her killed out of mere (and admittedly far-fetched) suspicion. I wouldn't have even tried to get Luke killed out of mere suspicion and my real hatred at him arguably only started once he was confirmed. Unless I have a very good reason to believe that a character will be dangerous to those I like, I don't need to take such precautionary measures.
Let's boil your theories down to two things: alternate reality and vivid hallucination. I will say both theories are very interesting, but you'll have to forgive me for not being able to discuss or expand on what you've suggested and excuse me for not able to speak decisively about either of them. Here's what I can say: both are passible, neither hit the nail directly on the head, and an explanation exists for most of the strange things which will occur in this story.
However, your actual reaction seems to be missing from your comments. So I have a question for you: Firstly, how does Rachel and Alexander's possible nonexistence make you feel? Secondly, considering for a moment either of your theories is true, how does that make you feel?
Edit: I also thought I should mention that the technic that allowed me to write ahead of time/jumpstart my creativity has been to have the protagonists sort of ricochet off of each other.
Alright, alright, alright then! I think I have finally an idea what is going on! This is either a completely ridiculous crack theory, or it … moreis somehow correct. In any way, it is a far shot, but I finally think I have a theory that makes sense about the timeline. This is not a flashback set in the backstory of Clive before his children were born, this is a parrallel universe in which they don't exist. It took me a while to get it, but there are several hints to that:
First of all, this part confirms that Clive is old, probably as old as he was in the original story, back when Rachel was in her twenties and Alex was in his late teens. So far, his children have not been mentioned and it is unlikely that they are just out of town or something like that. So, these parts can't be set before their birth, since it is unlikely that Melissa is at an age where she's even still able to give birth to two children.
Second, Melissa is still alive and si… [view original content]
Well I have my own question to you as well. PRETENDING that the parallel universe theory is true would it have in anyway a link to the fact that I have mentioned this so constantly in Prime?
Also are you CONFIRMING that Alex and Rachel do not currently exist?
Take your pick, Liquid. Which is it going to be?
Let's boil your theories down to two things: alternate reality and vivid hallucina… moretion. I will say both theories are very interesting, but you'll have to forgive me for not being able to discuss or expand on what you've suggested and excuse me for not able to speak decisively about either of them. Here's what I can say: both are passible, neither hit the nail directly on the head, and an explanation exists for most of the strange things which will occur in this story.
However, your actual reaction seems to be missing from your comments. So I have a question for you: Firstly, how does Rachel and Alexander's possible nonexistence make you feel? Secondly, considering for a moment either of your theories is true, how does that make you feel?
Edit: I also thought I should mention that the technic that allowed me to write ahead of time/jumpstart my creativity has been to have the protagonists sort of ricochet off of each other.
Pretending for a moment that such wild speculation is true, no, actually and surprisingly. Again, speaking hypothetically, the plot I've concocted originated from an entirely different direction and has sort of arrived at a similar crossroads, allegedly. Once again speaking hypothetically, it may have come from wanting to differentiate from the original story.
I've neither confirmed nor denied such a thing! For all we know, they're at school! Or possibly, due to some cruel twist of reality, they don't exist...
Well I have my own question to you as well. PRETENDING that the parallel universe theory is true would it have in anyway a link to the fact … morethat I have mentioned this so constantly in Prime?
Also are you CONFIRMING that Alex and Rachel do not currently exist?
Well in this very unlikely scenario, that is extremely surprising. I find it both incredibly coincidental and somewhat intreaging.
Then again i would also worry alot that the two (though extremely unlikely as it could be) would eventually reach a similar premise. Meaning that Silicon, which has so far has had better timing with parts and a higher viewership could overshadow Prime.
I also worry for Silicon itself. This possible premise, if not done correctly could easily turn out like the Luke debacle with good intentions and creative ideas reaching unwanted and unenjoyable states for its readers.
And i do also worry for the characters, seeing as in this scenario the story is protaginized by alternate versions. The childless but married Clive is the focus, while the one Liquid intended is left as a bizzare version to the 'main' one. Rachel and Alex are forever marked as odd renditions of another world that Clive either lives in, making them seem strange or a possiblility Clive will prefer, making them even odder.
But i trust and have faith that if this is the case, you can pull it off.
As for Rachel and Alexander im starting to lean more to Liquids thoughts. I don't feel like you would have not mentioned them if you didn't have a good reason.
Pretending for a moment that such wild speculation is true, no, actually and surprisingly. Again, speaking hypothetically, the plot I've con… morecocted originated from an entirely different direction and has sort of arrived at a similar crossroads, allegedly. Once again speaking hypothetically, it may have come from wanting to differentiate from the original story.
I've neither confirmed nor denied such a thing! For all we know, they're at school! Or possibly, due to some cruel twist of reality, they don't exist...
Well in this very unlikely scenario, that is extremely surprising. I find it both incredibly coincidental and somewhat intreaging.
Then again i would also worry alot that the two (though extremely unlikely as it could be) would eventually reach a similar premise. Meaning that Silicon, which has so far has had better timing with parts and a higher viewership could overshadow Prime.
I also worry for Silicon itself. This possible premise, if not done correctly could easily turn out like the Luke debacle with good intentions and creative ideas reaching unwanted and unenjoyable states for its readers.
I think I may have misunderstood your question, thinking it regarded your references to Silicon and Silicon County. Now, I think I get what you mean: the possible similarities between this and The Multiverse: Prime itself (but correct me if I'm wrong.) Anyway, firstly, I understand why that might worry you, but I assure you it is not my intention whatsoever to overshadow or even copy Prime. Prime is a wonderful and unique story. Whatever my alleged brand of reality muck is, it is far, far different from what I perceive as yours. I can expand on the differences if it still concerns you, but I insist on doing so privately.
Secondly, I'm going to go above and beyond to avoid any Luke-esque debacles, which I consider to be the biggest flaw of the original story, and which sapped the enjoyment of the story from others, myself included. To accomplish this, themes which we will be exploring again will be explored in a much different way.
However, I haven't considered that this possible (and obviously highly unlikely) alternate reality scenario might do the same thing. I've said it before, but this isn't going to be a happy story. At times, it may be downright miserable. Overall, each storyline (excluding the weird one) is going to explore a variety of incredibly complicated family relationships through an ever more complicated (and still alleged) plot device. Family, Love, Good Intentions and Inevitability are some of the themes these storylines share.
If the such a thing happens, if the story becomes bogged down and unenjoyable because of what's to come, there's is very little I can do to foresee what parts of my plans will be disagreeable. There will probably be many things liked and disliked by different readers. I suspect I'll find out when the time comes.
And i do also worry for the characters, seeing as in this scenario the story is protaginized by alternate versions. The childless but married Clive is the focus, while the one Liquid intended is left as a bizzare version to the 'main' one. Rachel and Alex are forever marked as odd renditions of another world that Clive either lives in, making them seem strange or a possiblility Clive will prefer, making them even odder.
This, I suppose, is the new form of Luke-debacle you've mentioned. It worries me as well, and I'm afraid that I have might have given Liquid the short end of the stick once again, but I'm going to strive to provide a satisfying story, with layers, and developments, and dynamics, with many ups and downs, with many painful "feels" and good "feels". Ultimately, Liquid shouldn't be afraid. Alas, it is going to be a carousel of strangeness—far different from a rollercoaster.
But i trust and have faith that if this is the case, you can pull it off.
I hope so, too. I think it's possible. I believe I've put a lot more thought into the planning of the reboot than I ever put into the original story. But you're endless support when I presented the idea of a reboot to you deserves equally endless credit! This wouldn't be possible without you and Liquid and every other wonderful user here! And thanks to you and the others, I might just be able to pull it off!
Well in this very unlikely scenario, that is extremely surprising. I find it both incredibly coincidental and somewhat intreaging.
Then … moreagain i would also worry alot that the two (though extremely unlikely as it could be) would eventually reach a similar premise. Meaning that Silicon, which has so far has had better timing with parts and a higher viewership could overshadow Prime.
I also worry for Silicon itself. This possible premise, if not done correctly could easily turn out like the Luke debacle with good intentions and creative ideas reaching unwanted and unenjoyable states for its readers.
And i do also worry for the characters, seeing as in this scenario the story is protaginized by alternate versions. The childless but married Clive is the focus, while the one Liquid intended is left as a bizzare version to the 'main' one. Rachel and Alex are forever marked as odd renditions of another world that Clive either lives… [view original content]
I meant both to be honest. Basically I was asking if Primes repeated insistence that Silicon is a place north of it and the fact that I have referenced it as much as possible (even adding it to characters backstories) mostly because I love it and it has always had the potential to be astonishingly great. And I was also worried that since in this scenario you were also thinking Multiverse and since Silicon has gathered more readers, especially lately anything that might make Prime unique or good dies out because Silicon becomes superior.
As for the Luke thing this is something I worry about a lot too. The big problem was that Alex became the most underused thing in the story, the first big shocking plot point that drives everything at first but will most likely become absolutely irrelevant once the story progresses. Rachel and Clive are never seen interacting with him, nor are any other people. He needed more time. Heck you could have made a random made up kind who was friends with him die. That hurts but also gives the others plot.
My biggest fear right now is that indeed Rachel and Alex end up becoming possibilities driven by Clives choices than characters. But I hope that will be avoided. I also currently remain hopeful that in the future more characters will become protagonists.
And thank you, I trust you and I know you can do it!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well in this very unlikely scenario, that is extremely surprising. I find it both incredibly coincidental and somewhat intreaging.
Then a… moregain i would also worry alot that the two (though extremely unlikely as it could be) would eventually reach a similar premise. Meaning that Silicon, which has so far has had better timing with parts and a higher viewership could overshadow Prime.
I also worry for Silicon itself. This possible premise, if not done correctly could easily turn out like the Luke debacle with good intentions and creative ideas reaching unwanted and unenjoyable states for its readers.
I think I may have misunderstood your question, thinking it regarded your references to Silicon and Silicon County. Now, I think I get what you mean: the possible similarities between this and The Multiverse: Prime itself (but correct me if I'm wrong.) Anyway, firstly, I understand why that might worry you, but I assure you it is no… [view original content]
The decision wasn't conscious—I picked characters who I believed I could write storylines for. Connections were drawn as an afterthought. The biggest one known to me is that they all have complicated family lives. Plus, their storylines share various themes.
The decision wasn't conscious—I picked characters who I believed I could write storylines for. Connections were drawn as an afterthought. Th… moree biggest one known to me is that they all have complicated family lives. Plus, their storylines share various themes.
A lot of this, unfortunately, is entirely out of my control. But, alleged alternate realities and hallucinations aside, I assure that Silicon County will not employ the Multiverse Theory. I'm gonna PM you soon because there are some things I think we should discuss.
My decision to kill off Alexander was possibly the worst one. This isn't applicable to Alex's case, whose treatment I acknowledge as completely unfair and uncalled for, but I'm not capable of giving every character an equal amount of screen time and development. It's something that worries me. It's why I've divided the reboot into (mostly) separate storylines so I'm able to give them each a set of main and secondary characters, so I'm hopefully able to give them all significant screen time. And, thankfully, I think it's working!
Speaking strictly hypothetically, Clive would choose his children over anything. Allowing the readers to choose between a state of reality where his kids don't exist and one where they do, in this regard, would be a disservice to his character, because he would never see it as a choice. You needn't worry about that. Anyway, admittedly, I don't have many ideas at the moment for additional storylines with new protagonists, but I do have ideas to... sort of rotate the protagonists in existing storylines. A good example might be Lana. If she remains a major character in Thomas's storyline, she might, at some point, take the helm.
I meant both to be honest. Basically I was asking if Primes repeated insistence that Silicon is a place north of it and the fact that I have… more referenced it as much as possible (even adding it to characters backstories) mostly because I love it and it has always had the potential to be astonishingly great. And I was also worried that since in this scenario you were also thinking Multiverse and since Silicon has gathered more readers, especially lately anything that might make Prime unique or good dies out because Silicon becomes superior.
As for the Luke thing this is something I worry about a lot too. The big problem was that Alex became the most underused thing in the story, the first big shocking plot point that drives everything at first but will most likely become absolutely irrelevant once the story progresses. Rachel and Clive are never seen interacting with him, nor are any other people. He needed more time. Heck you could have made … [view original content]
Here's what I can say: both are passible, neither hit the nail directly on the head, and an explanation exists for most of the strange things which will occur in this story.
Hm... I actually had yet another idea, tied with the knight in the beginning and these orbs he took. The number of orbs would fit the figures Clive saw, one of which resembled Rachel. I had to think, what if by taking these orbs, these people were basically erased from existence? Meaning, they did exist before, but are now gone and forgotten due to whatever the knight did. That would explain how they both clearly existed in the prologue, but apparently no longer do so in the current parts. But at the same time, they likely exist somehow, if Clive's dream is any indicator.
I also had the weird thought, what if I am wrong completely? What if they both exist, what if Rachel is still in L.A. and what if Alex is still at school in these parts, but then again, there's too much speaking against such a thing, including Clive's inability to recognize her in his dream.
Firstly, how does Rachel and Alexander's possible nonexistence make you feel?
Well, I'm not sure how I feel. Certainly not happy, I mean, that would be a pretty weird thing to be happy about. Neither sad though. It's also not indifference. More like, hm, how to put it, anticipation. I mean, I do miss both terribly, especially as I rather obviously liked both of them more than Clive from their submission alone (and I think I outright stated this before), but from several of your comments, I think it has been implied that both will have a role in the story and that means that neither is actually cut from it. So, I don't think I am worried either and I certainly look forward to meet them eventually. It is a bit of an odd feeling. Curiosity might be the right word, a very neutral form of curiosity, where I am neither happy nor sad about the current status, but highly interested where this is leading to. I haven't detailed my own feelings about this because it is hard to say how I actually feel about it. Maybe I'll get a more clearer feeling about this situation later on, once it becomes more obvious what is happening, if they really don't exist, if they stay nonexistant and stuff like that.
Secondly, considering for a moment either of your theories is true, how does that make you feel?
Hm, that is a hard question. Again, I don't really know how to feel about it. I mean, that holds a lot of potential. Shifting timelines, parrallels and the likes of it. Just imagine what would happen if Rachel and Alexander would somehow meet up with this version of their parents and realize that they don't recognize them. Or how Clive would feel if he learns that he actually has two children. I think I lean a bit more into a positive direction with this than with the possibility that they simply don't exist at all currently, but overall, it is still a relatively neutral feeling I have about this situation, not leaning completely into either direction. I mean, I think it is too early for that and first I gotta get a better idea of what you have planned and how you would plan to use such a situation.
I mean, all in all, having read through Lord's comments, he kind of expresses some of the worries I naturally have as well, but at the same time, I don't fully feel that way either. I mean, what he said, that is the elephant in the room, the obvious worry that it could go down that way, but at the same time, the current situation is nothing I really disapprove of. Clive for example, while different from the Clive I submitted, still somewhat feels like the same guy even if he is not and at the end of the day, that intrigues me. Melissa's presence intrigues me even more and what you have planned for her role in this story and especially in the Carson family. If she is alive and if Rachel and Alexander are going to appear while she is around, I am super curious how such a meeting would go down. In the end, I think I mostly see the potential such a situation holds and it is too early to have a genuine feeling about this. But there is a lot of potential for several outcomes and plenty of other stuff this could lead to and at least until I know for sure what kind of consequence is going to come, I am mostly excited where this will lead.
Gosh, I hope I don't sound negative. I'm not negative about this. I currently put a lot of thought into this scenario and I have come to the conclusion that a feeling into one particular direction would be rash. I am more confused and curious than anything else. I mean, it's not the Luke situation, not even remotely. They are not dead, I just have no idea at all what happened and unlike the Luke situation, there is plenty of possibilities how things can get resolved in a more positive fashion. In the end, I just have to reserve any sort of judgement on the situation for later. Sorry that I can't give you a clearer answer now, I'd like to, really. But I am not able to put my feelings for that into words. Uneasy could be a good word for it, but at the same time, it sounds probably too negative to how I truly feel. Maybe anticipating is a better word. I am anticipating to learn more about what is going on and what you have planned. A completely neutral reaction, even though I am obviously highly emotionally involved in this situation.
I must also make sure that, if you are worried about that, I don't feel like I got the short end of anything. I mean, for crying out loud, one of the three protagonists of the story has been submitted by me and while he himself is probably one of my lesser liked characters if seen in comparison to all the characters I have ever submitted for every story (perhaps even the least favourite, sorry Cliff), he still gives me that special feeling I always have when I see something I created in the wonderful story you are writing. Sure thing I would obviously prefer having Rachel and Alex in the story right now, but well, that is to b expected and I'm sure everyone would feel that way. Right now, I am just curious to see where everything is leading to, before I have a clearer picture on how I feel about everything. I mean, if I am unhappy about anything right now, it is about the fact that I am super confused how I should feel, as well as super confused what is going on. Though I also feel happy about the fact that I can speculate, so that gives me an all in all very ambivalent and anticipating feeling.
Take your pick, Liquid. Which is it going to be?
Let's boil your theories down to two things: alternate reality and vivid hallucina… moretion. I will say both theories are very interesting, but you'll have to forgive me for not being able to discuss or expand on what you've suggested and excuse me for not able to speak decisively about either of them. Here's what I can say: both are passible, neither hit the nail directly on the head, and an explanation exists for most of the strange things which will occur in this story.
However, your actual reaction seems to be missing from your comments. So I have a question for you: Firstly, how does Rachel and Alexander's possible nonexistence make you feel? Secondly, considering for a moment either of your theories is true, how does that make you feel?
Edit: I also thought I should mention that the technic that allowed me to write ahead of time/jumpstart my creativity has been to have the protagonists sort of ricochet off of each other.
A lot of this, unfortunately, is entirely out of my control. But, alleged alternate realities and hallucinations aside, I assure that Silico… moren County will not employ the Multiverse Theory. I'm gonna PM you soon because there are some things I think we should discuss.
My decision to kill off Alexander was possibly the worst one. This isn't applicable to Alex's case, whose treatment I acknowledge as completely unfair and uncalled for, but I'm not capable of giving every character an equal amount of screen time and development. It's something that worries me. It's why I've divided the reboot into (mostly) separate storylines so I'm able to give them each a set of main and secondary characters, so I'm hopefully able to give them all significant screen time. And, thankfully, I think it's working!
Speaking strictly hypothetically, Clive would choose his children over anything. Allowing the readers to choose between a state of reality where his… [view original content]
A lot of this, unfortunately, is entirely out of my control. But, alleged alternate realities and hallucinations aside, I assure that Silico… moren County will not employ the Multiverse Theory. I'm gonna PM you soon because there are some things I think we should discuss.
My decision to kill off Alexander was possibly the worst one. This isn't applicable to Alex's case, whose treatment I acknowledge as completely unfair and uncalled for, but I'm not capable of giving every character an equal amount of screen time and development. It's something that worries me. It's why I've divided the reboot into (mostly) separate storylines so I'm able to give them each a set of main and secondary characters, so I'm hopefully able to give them all significant screen time. And, thankfully, I think it's working!
Speaking strictly hypothetically, Clive would choose his children over anything. Allowing the readers to choose between a state of reality where his… [view original content]
A lot of this, unfortunately, is entirely out of my control. But, alleged alternate realities and hallucinations aside, I assure that Silico… moren County will not employ the Multiverse Theory. I'm gonna PM you soon because there are some things I think we should discuss.
My decision to kill off Alexander was possibly the worst one. This isn't applicable to Alex's case, whose treatment I acknowledge as completely unfair and uncalled for, but I'm not capable of giving every character an equal amount of screen time and development. It's something that worries me. It's why I've divided the reboot into (mostly) separate storylines so I'm able to give them each a set of main and secondary characters, so I'm hopefully able to give them all significant screen time. And, thankfully, I think it's working!
Speaking strictly hypothetically, Clive would choose his children over anything. Allowing the readers to choose between a state of reality where his… [view original content]
A lot of this, unfortunately, is entirely out of my control. But, alleged alternate realities and hallucinations aside, I assure that Silico… moren County will not employ the Multiverse Theory. I'm gonna PM you soon because there are some things I think we should discuss.
My decision to kill off Alexander was possibly the worst one. This isn't applicable to Alex's case, whose treatment I acknowledge as completely unfair and uncalled for, but I'm not capable of giving every character an equal amount of screen time and development. It's something that worries me. It's why I've divided the reboot into (mostly) separate storylines so I'm able to give them each a set of main and secondary characters, so I'm hopefully able to give them all significant screen time. And, thankfully, I think it's working!
Speaking strictly hypothetically, Clive would choose his children over anything. Allowing the readers to choose between a state of reality where his… [view original content]
Omg Hope who is blackmailing you?!!!! But in all seriousness never feel like something is out of your control in your story. There is always room to change things you don't fell ok with or just don't work.
Yeah thats a problem. I myslef have had to make 95% of all the characters P.O.V's in order to give them all fair screen time but you can see that caused other issues and did't really solve the problem.
Worst case you could make it a choice between them and his wife. You could easily make this about Clive chosing his existance. Which would really only add to that weird...mirage type feeling with Alex and Rachel instead of them being characters like everyone else.
Ok, now you are just urging me make Thomas a Lana stalker .
A lot of this, unfortunately, is entirely out of my control. But, alleged alternate realities and hallucinations aside, I assure that Silico… moren County will not employ the Multiverse Theory. I'm gonna PM you soon because there are some things I think we should discuss.
My decision to kill off Alexander was possibly the worst one. This isn't applicable to Alex's case, whose treatment I acknowledge as completely unfair and uncalled for, but I'm not capable of giving every character an equal amount of screen time and development. It's something that worries me. It's why I've divided the reboot into (mostly) separate storylines so I'm able to give them each a set of main and secondary characters, so I'm hopefully able to give them all significant screen time. And, thankfully, I think it's working!
Speaking strictly hypothetically, Clive would choose his children over anything. Allowing the readers to choose between a state of reality where his… [view original content]
A lot of this, unfortunately, is entirely out of my control. But, alleged alternate realities and hallucinations aside, I assure that Silico… moren County will not employ the Multiverse Theory. I'm gonna PM you soon because there are some things I think we should discuss.
My decision to kill off Alexander was possibly the worst one. This isn't applicable to Alex's case, whose treatment I acknowledge as completely unfair and uncalled for, but I'm not capable of giving every character an equal amount of screen time and development. It's something that worries me. It's why I've divided the reboot into (mostly) separate storylines so I'm able to give them each a set of main and secondary characters, so I'm hopefully able to give them all significant screen time. And, thankfully, I think it's working!
Speaking strictly hypothetically, Clive would choose his children over anything. Allowing the readers to choose between a state of reality where his… [view original content]
What I meant is that I can't control user interests or anything to do with Prime. Say the word and I'll post shoutout, but I'm not sure I'm capable of much else.
Anyway, there's another thing I wanted to mentioned, which is experience. This is technically my seventh rodeo if you count the original and reboot as separate entities. You see, usually one improves their writing by continually writing.
I finished my first two stories, canceled my next two, my fifth is still ongoing, I canceled my sixth and have rebooted it as my seventh. In your first attempt at writing a forum story, you've surpassed the quality of my fifth! That's freaking impressive! Keep writing, Lord, and you'll surpass me in no time! :^)
I don't think I could ever handle that many POVs. I get mirage just trying to imagine how Liquid manages all of his storylines and hundreds of characters. I don't think I could ever create something as sprawling and complex as that. Recently, I've begun to cautiously venture into more storylines. There's three here, a few new ones starting up in the next act of Monument, and hopefully more on the horizon.
You see, hypothetically speaking, I would never put a choice like that into the story. It would go against many things that I believe about Clive as a character. Because (again, this is all very hypothetical) to Clive, there would be only one reality—the one in which his kids exist. Between his wife and his children, he would always choose his children. The same can be said about Melissa.
So now Thomas is Lana's plot armor/plot power up? lol. I'm really interested in seeing how that goes.
Omg Hope who is blackmailing you?!!!! But in all seriousness never feel like something is out of your control in your story. There is always… more room to change things you don't fell ok with or just don't work.
Yeah thats a problem. I myslef have had to make 95% of all the characters P.O.V's in order to give them all fair screen time but you can see that caused other issues and did't really solve the problem.
Worst case you could make it a choice between them and his wife. You could easily make this about Clive chosing his existance. Which would really only add to that weird...mirage type feeling with Alex and Rachel instead of them being characters like everyone else.
Ok, now you are just urging me make Thomas a Lana stalker .
I never ask for shout outs. I feel like its the same as self promotion only someone else is doing it. Be my guest if you want but only because YOU want to.
Yeah i know, but how long were those stories? By its current rate Prime will take a few years easily. I think only FOT will be able to top it in leght, maybe Monument if i start to rush it. Its a long time.
Oh no don't ever think i wish to surpass you or Liquid. Our styles and themes are unique and good in different ways. You cannot say that you like FOT and Prime for the same reason. Infact you cant even say Monument is liked for the same reason Silicon is. I see us as equals. Friends who wish to practice writting and interact with an audience and grow and improve together . I hope one day i do have more readers, but i also wish and hope you do too.
Its not hard if you have a plan. Say you want pov A to get to determinant plot point T or determinant plot point Q then just write things out according to the choices. If you have an insane amout of characters just make sure they all follow one or several plots. For example say.......they all have to get on this buss. Now it might end up taking you 2 damn years to get through every single person and you might have to spend entire parts with just forshadowing for things people wont get for a few years when they don't remember it and make a bunch of side plots.........but there is a very low chance it will go that route............very, very low....................
Well then i retract my statement. Still there is a terrible possible choice you could do in that scenario, i just feel it.
I also look forward to me picking the 'Obsess over Lana' option more times than Emma gets the 'Obsess over Lucios' option
You okay buddy? lol
What I meant is that I can't control user interests or anything to do with Prime. Say the word and I'll post shoutout… more, but I'm not sure I'm capable of much else.
Anyway, there's another thing I wanted to mentioned, which is experience. This is technically my seventh rodeo if you count the original and reboot as separate entities. You see, usually one improves their writing by continually writing.
I finished my first two stories, canceled my next two, my fifth is still ongoing, I canceled my sixth and have rebooted it as my seventh. In your first attempt at writing a forum story, you've surpassed the quality of my fifth! That's freaking impressive! Keep writing, Lord, and you'll surpass me in no time! :^)
I don't think I could ever handle that many POVs. I get mirage just trying to imagine how Liquid manages all of his storylines and hundreds of characters. I don't think I could ever create something as sprawling … [view original content]
Oh no don't ever think i wish to surpass you or Liquid. Our styles and themes are unique and good in different ways. You cannot say that you like FOT and Prime for the same reason. Infact you cant even say Monument is liked for the same reason Silicon is. I see us as equals. Friends who wish to practice writting and interact with an audience and grow and improve together . I hope one day i do have more readers, but i also wish and hope you do too.
You make an incredibly good point. I agree with you and think that's a much better way to see things. And you'd be surprised how many new readers have come out of the woodwork recently over at MttWD, over a year after it started, (wonderful and much appreciated) assistance from Liquid's shoutouts aside. I suspect the same is liable to happen for Prime since it will probably run just as long, if not longer.
Its not hard if you have a plan. Say you want pov A to get to determinant plot point T or determinant plot point Q then just write things out according to the choices. If you have an insane amout of characters just make sure they all follow one or several plots. For example say.......they all have to get on this buss. Now it might end up taking you 2 damn years to get through every single person and you might have to spend entire parts with just forshadowing for things people wont get for a few years when they don't remember it and make a bunch of side plots.........but there is a very low chance it will go that route............very, very low....................
I guess this stylistic differences you mentioned. I'm borderline incapable of exploring settings in a small time frame if that makes sense. I don't think I could handle a bus ride, like you have, for that reason. I get very self-conscious about meandering and I have a lot of trouble handling casual conversation. But speaking of a multitude of characters, I worry a lot about characterization. In the past, a lot of my characters have been analogies of each other. Thankfully, I feeling good about how I've painted the characters so far in the reboot. That can be chalked up to how diverse they were to begin with—a lot of users, you included, have provided an amazing cast to play around with! I'm looking forward to posting the next part, in which our resident jokester goes full-sarcasm.
Well then i retract my statement. Still there is a terrible possible choice you could do in that scenario, i just feel it.
I thought about it for a few unholy days and came to the conclusion of how cheap it would be to make Liquid choose between two characters he submitted and one who was just supplemented by me. Additionally, it really wouldn't be a hard choice at all. This is beside the fact that it would go against completely Clive's character.
I also look forward to me picking the 'Obsess over Lana' option more times than Emma gets the 'Obsess over Lucios' option
Always ok . My pad is just terrible.
I never ask for shout outs. I feel like its the same as self promotion only someone else is doing it… more. Be my guest if you want but only because YOU want to.
Yeah i know, but how long were those stories? By its current rate Prime will take a few years easily. I think only FOT will be able to top it in leght, maybe Monument if i start to rush it. Its a long time.
Oh no don't ever think i wish to surpass you or Liquid. Our styles and themes are unique and good in different ways. You cannot say that you like FOT and Prime for the same reason. Infact you cant even say Monument is liked for the same reason Silicon is. I see us as equals. Friends who wish to practice writting and interact with an audience and grow and improve together . I hope one day i do have more readers, but i also wish and hope you do too.
Its not hard if you have a plan. Say you want pov A to get to determinant plot point T or d… [view original content]
Hm... I actually had yet another idea, tied with the knight in the beginning and these orbs he took. The number of orbs would fit the figures Clive saw, one of which resembled Rachel. I had to think, what if by taking these orbs, these people were basically erased from existence? Meaning, they did exist before, but are now gone and forgotten due to whatever the knight did. That would explain how they both clearly existed in the prologue, but apparently no longer do so in the current parts. But at the same time, they likely exist somehow, if Clive's dream is any indicator.
Firstly, I've decided to further separate the Silentium stuff as its own plot. I've renamed it Epilogue to Fire—if you ask me, it's much better-fitting name—and have classified it as an ongoing One-Shot, still airing as introductions for each chapter. Though, I am considering posting sections periodically throughout each chapter so I can move onto something new in the next act. Of course, it still ties crucially into Silicon County's main plotlines.
Anyway, I will confirm that the absences of certain characters are not correlated to the knight's abstraction of the eight orbs. The figures Clive dreams of, one which is very likely Rachel, are connected. These connections will be clearer as things progress.
I also had the weird thought, what if I am wrong completely? What if they both exist, what if Rachel is still in L.A. and what if Alex is still at school in these parts, but then again, there's too much speaking against such a thing, including Clive's inability to recognize her in his dream.
We will have a definitive answer the question of Rachel and Alexander's whereabouts. The reason of their possible disappearances might also be subtly hinted at.
Well, I'm not sure how I feel. Certainly not happy, I mean, that would be a pretty weird thing to be happy about. Neither sad though. It's also not indifference. More like, hm, how to put it, anticipation. I mean, I do miss both terribly, especially as I rather obviously liked both of them more than Clive from their submission alone (and I think I outright stated this before), but from several of your comments, I think it has been implied that both will have a role in the story and that means that neither is actually cut from it. So, I don't think I am worried either and I certainly look forward to meet them eventually. It is a bit of an odd feeling. Curiosity might be the right word, a very neutral form of curiosity, where I am neither happy nor sad about the current status, but highly interested where this is leading to. I haven't detailed my own feelings about this because it is hard to say how I actually feel about it. Maybe I'll get a more clearer feeling about this situation later on, once it becomes more obvious what is happening, if they really don't exist, if they stay nonexistant and stuff like that.
I think I understand what you're getting at. Luckily, you'll likely have more information by chapter two to go off of. I think I have plans for the later acts which will likely please you. I mentioned to Lord the possibly of Lana maintaining the point of view for Thomas's storyline for a time. A rotation of protagonists, if you will. Acts would divide that well, I think, and there are three of them. Excluding Melissa, there are also three Carsons. Hmm...
I must also make sure that, if you are worried about that, I don't feel like I got the short end of anything. I mean, for crying out loud, one of the three protagonists of the story has been submitted by me and while he himself is probably one of my lesser liked characters if seen in comparison to all the characters I have ever submitted for every story (perhaps even the least favourite, sorry Cliff), he still gives me that special feeling I always have when I see something I created in the wonderful story you are writing. Sure thing I would obviously prefer having Rachel and Alex in the story right now, but well, that is to b expected and I'm sure everyone would feel that way. Right now, I am just curious to see where everything is leading to, before I have a clearer picture on how I feel about everything. I mean, if I am unhappy about anything right now, it is about the fact that I am super confused how I should feel, as well as super confused what is going on. Though I also feel happy about the fact that I can speculate, so that gives me an all in all very ambivalent and anticipating feeling.
I find it reassuring that you don't feel cheated by the way I'm handling the Carsons in the reboot. I think, I really do, that you will be ultimately quite satisfied by what's in store. Now, let me assure that you don't sound negative at all—to me, you seem to be conducting yourself exactly that way you've described: fairly neutral on the disposition-slider but heavily invested in what revelations are in store. There are ups and downs in stone, things that will tip that slider every which way, but, as I say frequently in Monument, prepare for the worst, hope for the best. There's trouble afoot, but you'll learn that Clive isn't helpless. And as you're well aware, being their creator, Clive would do anything for his children. If some supernatural entity or temporal anomaly has taken his kids away, he'd get them back.
Here's what I can say: both are passible, neither hit the nail directly on the head, and an explanation exists for most of the strange thing… mores which will occur in this story.
Hm... I actually had yet another idea, tied with the knight in the beginning and these orbs he took. The number of orbs would fit the figures Clive saw, one of which resembled Rachel. I had to think, what if by taking these orbs, these people were basically erased from existence? Meaning, they did exist before, but are now gone and forgotten due to whatever the knight did. That would explain how they both clearly existed in the prologue, but apparently no longer do so in the current parts. But at the same time, they likely exist somehow, if Clive's dream is any indicator.
I also had the weird thought, what if I am wrong completely? What if they both exist, what if Rachel is still in L.A. and what if Alex is still at school in these parts, but then again, there'… [view original content]
(!) Thomas Callahan will catch a ride to the hospital
The next part, introducing Tyler Gavins, has been written and is in need of a mere few revisions to be posted. I have homework to work on this evening, so if I have the time and I'm able to perform the editing quickly, the new part may come out as soon as tonight or as late as tomorrow morning. I'll see you soon either way!
Tyler Gavins, 01-05: Tyler stood dangerously close to the edge of the cliff, looking down into the perfect if murky reflection of the dark blue sky while a cool breeze chilled him through his black jacket, getting the odd notion that the surface was an extension of the sky. From atop the flooded quarry’s southern lip, he could see far in a range from northwest to northeast. He took it all in, the leaves in a spectrum between yellow and red and brown painted the stretching landscape; the nude trees—with bark possessed of a faded, gray-brown color—rose from the ground; and the near cloudless, purple-orange sky that drew complete the picture. Autumn was well underway. Tyler breathed deeply, a burning sensation in his lungs. It was nice.
“Tyler,” Samantha called, “you know I don’t like it when you do stuff like this! You better get back over here because you’re about to get left in the dust!”
Tyler smiled to himself, stepping away from the cliff. He shoved his hands in his jacket as he walked because they were becoming less responsive, less precise in the cold air. “I’m coming!” His breath condensed in the air before him. He left the clearing offered by the cliff and slid downslope on his sneakers between trees, breaking onto the path at a run. Samantha and Kayla were waiting there. Sam shook her head in mock disappointment, gave Kayla—who shared the bicycle with her—a head’s up, and pushed powerfully down on the pedals, shooting down the path.
“Hey, wait!” Tyler shouted. He kicked up the bike’s stand and hopped on, pedaling quickly to catch up. He laughed because it was thrilling to follow and feel the rises, falls, and curves of the trail. He laughed because he was having a good time.
He was having a grand time until he hit a root too large for his bike to climb. His bike stopped painfully, bringing back down to earth. He rolled back, adjusted his direction, and continued forward. He caught up with them once the path transitioned to an uphill climb.
“Too slow!” he hissed breathlessly as he zipped past them. He was smiling again. He got to the top of the hill, then waited.
After having watched the soccer game, they rode had rode their bikes out of the school parking lot and into the woods immediately adjacent to it, exploring the weave of back roads and paths that were present in a good portion of the woods surrounding Hawley—once you got past the thinning residential properties, of course. Tyler and Sam had a good mental map of the area, and while they explored, they gravitated toward the Jones’ diner for an evening meal. Kayla tagged along on days like today, days like the soccer game, but due to her her blindness, she typically found alternate transportation.
A few moments later, Samantha came up the hill, out of breath. “Tyler, you’re such an ass!” She was smiling, too. As was Kayla, but her’s was more subdued. Sam’s panting shifted smoothly into a sigh. “No more detours, alright? Let’s get to the diner. I’m starved.”
“Already?” Tyler questioned, faking exasperation. “We just left the school!”
“I agree with Sam,” Kayla mediated, flashing a smile in the direction of Tyler’s voice.
Tyler shrugged with defeat, sighing loudly to give Kayla an auditory clue. “I guess you’ve got me outnumbered,” he murmured. “Well, let’s get going already.”
Kayla rode with him the rest of the way. Tyler pressed forward quickly but exercised caution. He didn’t need to push himself until the twisting path straightened out and became a long, steep slope to the top. A clearing was visible far ahead at the opposite end, but it was veiled by their angle of approach, a patch of darkening sky on display.
Tyler burst from the treeline, flying an inch or two off the ground due to the incline acting as a ramp. He felt Kayla’s arms tighten around his stomach when the bike hit the tarmac half a second later, concealing a surprised grunt. Sam followed closely as they looped around the building, the two bikes coming to a gradual stop in front of the diner. They dismounted, Kayla snapped together the segments of a folding cane, and—just as the crowdedness of the parking lot had registered with Tyler—entered the diner to the bombardment of noise created by a full house of customers.
Kayla frowned dispassionately, taking the crook of Tyler’s elbow for guidance in the chaotic space.
“We’ll gonna starve!” Tyler exclaimed, his voice raised to be heard over the commotion.
Sam lightly punched his free arm. “Whoever said handouts were free? C’mon, let’s see if we can help mom and Cassie speed things up. Hard work adds flavor, you know.”
“That’s strange,” he murmured. “I’ve never see ‘hard work’ on a spice rack.”
She punched him harder this time, wiping the smirk clean off his face. He gave her a pained puppy-dog expression and she rolled her eyes. “Or you can wait it out. It’s your choice.”
“Well,” he muttered, shrugging the ache out of his battered arm, “let’s not stand idle.”
They navigated the packed diner carefully. More than once, Tyler jerked Kayla out of the way of an apparently oblivious customer. More than once, it was a false alarm, an overreaction on his part. As they walked the alongside the counter, they passed Misses Cassidy Classon, an older woman employed by Sam’s mother. Cassidy stood at the inner side of the counter, clad in a dirty apron and sweat-stained work clothes, having found a moment’s rest amid the turmoil. She was enjoying a rare reunion with her husband, a trucker, and Emily, her grown up daughter. Both were sat across the counter on stools and looked over their shoulders when Cassidy gave an approving nod and smile toward the three of them. Sam and Tyler replied kindly with nods of their own while Kayla was unaware of the silent exchange. Tyler briefly met Emily Classon’s green eyes, met the unfaltering but pleasant stare of someone whose mood wasn’t typically so openly merry. She seemed happy.
Then they were past and the Classons returned to their conversation, but Tyler felt her gaze linger on him a second longer. They circled the counter, Sam slipped through, holding the hinged bar hatch up while Tyler led Kayla through.
In the moment Tyler had noticed the fact that Bernie Jones was tending to the grill, Sam had rushed past him and Kayla, acting more like an eight-year-old than a teenager of seventeen and jumping into her older brother’s arms. Tyler winced—and Kayla, too, it seemed—but Bernie caught her and precariously shifted her body until she was on his shoulders and there was little chance he would drop her. It was a feat that would not have been accomplished had Sam not been spindly and Bernie not been a sturdy tree of a man.
Bernie approached. Sam’s expression was smug as she looked down on them. “Bonjour, peasants,” she said, echoing her voice and whispering to simulate distance. She rested her elbows on Bernie’s head, leaned forward dangerously, and addressed him: “What the hell are you doing back here?”
“Don’t let mom catch you swearing,” he cautioned lightheartedly. As if on cue, Sam looked nervously at her mother and her mother glanced back, busy expertly taking an order while simultaneously pouring a drink. Her gaze was pulled back when Bernie answered: “I caught an earlier break than expected and came straight home the minute I had the chance.”
“Did you catch the game?” she asked.
“Nope!” he said, suddenly lifting her off his shoulder—her head narrowly missing the ceiling—and lowering her to the checkered tile with the skill of a partnering dancer. Bernie gave Tyler a sweaty hug, patting him hard on the back—because buzzcuts couldn’t be satisfyingly ruffled—then shook hands with Kayla.
Tyler and Sam were put to work—cooking, pouring drinks, taking orders, washing dishes and generally clearing—while Kayla was allowed to read a braille novel in the back of the diner. After about forty-five minutes, there was a gap in the flow of customers and Mrs. Jones and Mrs. Classon were able to handle everything from then on. Bernie grilled up some patties, they all prepared their food, then the four of them went out the back to a picnic bench and enjoyed a hard earned (and in Kayla’s case, long-waited for) meal of hamburgers, freshly cut fries, and cream sodas.
Night had long since descended. Two bright flood lights held the darkness at bay, but its province ended well before the treeline. The four of them talked, joked, laughed, ate second helpings, caught up, joked some more, and finally ate dessert. One by one, in an indiscernible line of pure black, the stars were swallowed by the moving blanket of clouds until the crescent moon was merely a vague, glowing silhouette in the sky. It was five after eleven before anyone realized how late it was.
Tyler yawned despite the sugar, throwing his third empty can of soda at the recycling bin and nailing the shot to his own surprise. He still had to stand and pick up the two he’d missed, which diminished the effect greatly, but Bernie still gave him a congratulatory slap on the back when he had returned.
The back door opened and closed. Marsha Jones approached the table, a white jacket applied over her work clothes. “Cassidy’s heading home,” she said, her voice a whisper in the chilling breeze. “Samantha, honey, put your bike in the diner then lock up. Benjamin’s driving you to school tomorrow.”
“Sweet,” she murmured tiredly. Sam took the key, walking away from the table, then scratched her head with confusion and looked back. “Are we taking Kayla and Tyler home?”
“Kayla, yes. Tyler?” It was an offer.
Tyler looked up from where he was milling about, kicking tufts of grass that had grown between the cracks in the concrete, and shook his head. “No, thank you, ma’am. I’ll see myself home.”
Mrs. Marsha nodded, although she seemed a bit reluctant.
Sam left to put her bike up and the gathering grew thinner. Tyler followed Mrs. Marsha, Bernie, and Kayla around the diner until they rounded the corner. Here, he stopped by his bicycle and leaned on the building, watching through clouds of his own condensing breath as they filed into Mrs. Marsha’s van. Sam emerged from diner’s entrance a moment after the lights went out, locking the door behind her.
She handed him his backpack and threw her own over her shoulder. They hugged briefly then parted. She looked off, sighing a long wave of vapor, probably just realizing the sky was starless. Finally, she said, “Mom’s invited you and your family to thanksgiving on Thursday.”
He smiled in a somber way. “Yikes. You’ve made a mistake telling me. You see, we’ll gonna take you up on that offer. Did Mrs. Marsha consider the possibility that we might accept?”
“Oh, shut up,” she said, suppressing a grin. She punched his arm once last time, but it was more of a friendly nudge. “See you at school?”
“Of course,” he replied. “Bye, Sam.”
“See you later, Ty,” she whispered.
She climbed into the back of the van and slammed the door shut. Tyler returned to leaning on the building as he watched the van pull out of parking space, out of the parking lot, and onto the road and away. He listened to the sound of crunching gravel until it slowly faded into the night.
There was silence. Tyler sighed, watching the cloud dissipate. The surrounding forest crackled noisily in a sudden gust of wind and Tyler shivered, a flurry of leaves scattering across the parking lot. He whispered to himself that one shouldn’t stand idle, tossed on his backpack, stomped his sneakers and clapped his hands to get the blood flowing, and climbed onto his bicycle. He pedaled to the trailhead then paused to lean forward, flicking the switch to a single, round headlight that painted the first few tree trunks in light, then only the bare branches from that point onward as the landscape sloped downward. He rolled forward, extinguishing thick pools of darkness, and descended the wooded path.
Tyler Gavins, 01-05: Tyler stood dangerously close to the edge of the cliff, looking down into the perfect if murky reflection of the dark b… morelue sky while a cool breeze chilled him through his black jacket, getting the odd notion that the surface was an extension of the sky. From atop the flooded quarry’s southern lip, he could see far in a range from northwest to northeast. He took it all in, the leaves in a spectrum between yellow and red and brown painted the stretching landscape; the nude trees—with bark possessed of a faded, gray-brown color—rose from the ground; and the near cloudless, purple-orange sky that drew complete the picture. Autumn was well underway. Tyler breathed deeply, a burning sensation in his lungs. It was nice.
“Tyler,” Samantha called, “you know I don’t like it when you do stuff like this! You better get back over here because you’re about to get left in the dust!”
Tyler smiled to himself, stepping away from the … [view original content]
I'm glad! Yes, the tone of his POV was much lighter than the previous ones. It was really the polar opposite of his piece in the prologue in terms of tone. The lighthearted attitudes of the characters involved and Tyler especially can be thanked for that.
I do have to ask, do you have any criticisms or suggestions about how I've characterized Tyler? And on the other side of things, is there anything you liked in particular that you would like to see more of?
TO OTHER READERS I talk about certain things regarding Tyler's personality that haven't been revealed in the story yet. If you want things about his personality to be a complete surprise do NOT read the suggestions section of my comment.
Criticisms: I don't have any criticisms right now.
Suggestions: I'd suggest showing off some of his negative emotions, like his anger. From what I remember about writing him I believe I said he had a pretty bad temper (correct me if I'm wrong.) Take Alexander Carson for example. From what I know of him I don't think Tyler would get along with him and they'd probably butt heads a lot. To be fair I don't know Alexander very well so I could be completely wrong about that. My point is that I'd like to see Tyler's temper at some point.
What I'd like to see: Tyler and Samantha! I loved their banter and want to see more of it and see their relationship develop.
I'm glad! Yes, the tone of his POV was much lighter than the previous ones. It was really the polar opposite of his piece in the prologue in… more terms of tone. The lighthearted attitudes of the characters involved and Tyler especially can be thanked for that.
I do have to ask, do you have any criticisms or suggestions about how I've characterized Tyler? And on the other side of things, is there anything you liked in particular that you would like to see more of?
His temper and impatience were mentioned in his submission. However, so far nothing has been done to him or his friends that might invoke his anger. It is an inevitability that those traits be seen at some point, though. Of course, this chapter going to be all sunshine and rainbows for Tyler, and there's going to be some heavy tension very soon.
I'm happy their banter was appreciated! I should mention that I don't have any plans to make them a couple. They're just really good and close friends.
TO OTHER READERS I talk about certain things regarding Tyler's personality that haven't been revealed in the story yet. If you want things a… morebout his personality to be a complete surprise do NOT read the suggestions section of my comment.
Criticisms: I don't have any criticisms right now.
Suggestions: I'd suggest showing off some of his negative emotions, like his anger. From what I remember about writing him I believe I said he had a pretty bad temper (correct me if I'm wrong.) Take Alexander Carson for example. From what I know of him I don't think Tyler would get along with him and they'd probably butt heads a lot. To be fair I don't know Alexander very well so I could be completely wrong about that. My point is that I'd like to see Tyler's temper at some point.
What I'd like to see: Tyler and Samantha! I loved their banter and want to see more of it and see their relationship develop.
Firstly, I've decided to further separate the Silentium stuff as its own plot. I've renamed it Epilogue to Fire—if you ask me, it's much better-fitting name—and have classified it as an ongoing One-Shot, still airing as introductions for each chapter. Though, I am considering posting sections periodically throughout each chapter so I can move onto something new in the next act. Of course, it still ties crucially into Silicon County's main plotlines.
Intriguing. Very intriguing... So, it is a one-shot that is still crucial to the main plotlines? I really can't wait for this to make sense, because I'm sure the realization just what is going on there will be awesome
Anyway, I will confirm that the absences of certain characters are not correlated to the knight's abstraction of the eight orbs. The figures Clive dreams of, one which is very likely Rachel, are connected. These connections will be clearer as things progress.
Huh, this is even more intriguing. I mean, if Rachel and Alex are both missing, then Alex could be another figure, which means they would be connected through family. But the others? Man, I don't know. That's basically all there is about the Carson family, so I doubt the other six are actually blood-related to them, if Alex is even one of these figures to begin with.
We will have a definitive answer the question of Rachel and Alexander's whereabouts. The reason of their possible disappearances might also be subtly hinted at.
Hm, alright, this is good. These hints, have there already been some? I try to read as cautious as possible, but I haven't found any so far.
I think I understand what you're getting at. Luckily, you'll likely have more information by chapter two to go off of. I think I have plans for the later acts which will likely please you. I mentioned to Lord the possibly of Lana maintaining the point of view for Thomas's storyline for a time. A rotation of protagonists, if you will. Acts would divide that well, I think, and there are three of them. Excluding Melissa, there are also three Carsons. Hmm...
You understand? That's good, because honestly, I myself am not entirely sure what I was getting at. It is a large mixture of emotions, of which anticipation is perhaps the strongest one. You got me more than intrigued. And one thing I haven't even considered is a possibl connection between the number of Carsons and th acts... hm, I feel like I am about to realize something important, but there is some crucial information still missing. I love that feeling, I think I haven't been that positively confused in a long while.
I find it reassuring that you don't feel cheated by the way I'm handling the Carsons in the reboot. I think, I really do, that you will be ultimately quite satisfied by what's in store. Now, let me assure that you don't sound negative at all—to me, you seem to be conducting yourself exactly that way you've described: fairly neutral on the disposition-slider but heavily invested in what revelations are in store. There are ups and downs in stone, things that will tip that slider every which way, but, as I say frequently in Monument, prepare for the worst, hope for the best. There's trouble afoot, but you'll learn that Clive isn't helpless. And as you're well aware, being their creator, Clive would do anything for his children. If some supernatural entity or temporal anomaly has taken his kids away, he'd get them back.
Ah, it is good that I don't sound negative. It's something I always have to struggle with, that I sound way more negative than I truly feel. And I don't doubt that I will like what is in store. I mean, it's obvious that I was a bit disappointed with the Carsons in the original story, but even then, that wasn't a complete disappointment, as Rachel and Clive have been quite nice. And no matter what the current situation is, it is drastically different from the situation in the original story for sure and the possible non-existance of Rachel and Alex is something completely unlike Luke murdering Alex. Whereas the latter drew my ire and directed it at Luke in a rather severe way, the former makes me too confused to feel anything negative. And of course, that is my secret, I am always prepared for the worst As for Clive, this was something I had to wonder during your talk with Lord here. If Rachel and Alex do not exist in this current version of the timeline, would Clive still do anything to get them back? I wasn't sure about it myself, because by all means, their non-existance would basically mean that he is a completely different person, with completely different experiences. But it is reassuring to know that he would still do this for them, as it means that at heart, he still shares the key characteristics with the man he was in the original story.
Hm... I actually had yet another idea, tied with the knight in the beginning and these orbs he took. The number of orbs would fit the figure… mores Clive saw, one of which resembled Rachel. I had to think, what if by taking these orbs, these people were basically erased from existence? Meaning, they did exist before, but are now gone and forgotten due to whatever the knight did. That would explain how they both clearly existed in the prologue, but apparently no longer do so in the current parts. But at the same time, they likely exist somehow, if Clive's dream is any indicator.
Firstly, I've decided to further separate the Silentium stuff as its own plot. I've renamed it Epilogue to Fire—if you ask me, it's much better-fitting name—and have classified it as an ongoing One-Shot, still airing as introductions for each chapter. Though, I am considering posting sections periodically throughout each chapter so I can move onto something new in th… [view original content]
This was a great introduction to Tyler's storyline! So far, I haven't seen anything that supports my theory about the three protagonists though, even if I tried to look closely. I might have to rethink that one. Then again, perhaps Mikey does not exist in this timeline, similar to what I think about Rachel and Alex. In that case, there obviously won't be any hints at him still being alive, because well, Tyler wouldn't even know about him.
But ah, away from the tinfoil for now, back to the part itself! I liked this part a lot. Tyler was the one I was probably the most curious about out of the three protagonists. I mean, I obviously knew what kind of guy Clive would be (even though you certainly managed to surprise me) and Thomas was featured in the original story enough to give me an idea about him. But Tyler was a very minor character in the original story, only appearing in one part if I'm not mistaken. That means, I had no real idea about how he would be. Now that I see him, I like him. He's great and his sarcasm is a welcome change from the more serious personalities of Clive and Thomas. And seeing Sam and Kayla again was really nice as well. You know, I constantly expected something terrible to happen and I was pleasantly surprised that it didn't, at least for now
Tyler Gavins, 01-05: Tyler stood dangerously close to the edge of the cliff, looking down into the perfect if murky reflection of the dark b… morelue sky while a cool breeze chilled him through his black jacket, getting the odd notion that the surface was an extension of the sky. From atop the flooded quarry’s southern lip, he could see far in a range from northwest to northeast. He took it all in, the leaves in a spectrum between yellow and red and brown painted the stretching landscape; the nude trees—with bark possessed of a faded, gray-brown color—rose from the ground; and the near cloudless, purple-orange sky that drew complete the picture. Autumn was well underway. Tyler breathed deeply, a burning sensation in his lungs. It was nice.
“Tyler,” Samantha called, “you know I don’t like it when you do stuff like this! You better get back over here because you’re about to get left in the dust!”
Tyler smiled to himself, stepping away from the … [view original content]
His temper and impatience were mentioned in his submission. However, so far nothing has been done to him or his friends that might invoke hi… mores anger. It is an inevitability that those traits be seen at some point, though. Of course, this chapter going to be all sunshine and rainbows for Tyler, and there's going to be some heavy tension very soon.
I'm happy their banter was appreciated! I should mention that I don't have any plans to make them a couple. They're just really good and close friends.
Comments
That was a great part! I loved how the two stories connected.
I think I might have to choose [Return to the car.]. I feel like something bad might happen to Lana if we don't.
But then... Hmm... Well, it looks like the rest of the votes are for going to the hospital, so my vote doesn't really matter. I guess that takes the pressure off.
[Go to the hospital]
Lol. I still can't believe you came up with that theory having nothing to back it up. You really are paranoid every character I make is evil.
Well, to my defense, she was about the first of your characters I knew about that hasn't been evil in some capacity
On top of that, once I had this thought, it made a scary amount of sense and I just couldn't get it out of my head again. The more I thought about it, the more it made sense. One thing led to the other and in the end, I created a beautiful masterpiece of a theory. Truly one of my finest moments.
That said, that theory admittedly kinda came a little bit out of nowhere when looked at from a certain perspective. With such magnificent skills in blowing things out of proportion, twisting the facts, focussing on paranoia and half-truths and making outright wrong things sound plausible, I should consider a career in politics. Those skills currently seem to be in high demand there.
Yeah I guess Lana was the odd woman out of the roster with serial killers, crazy people and whatever the heck I can even call some of them. I still can't believe you came up with something like that when we first met her though. I remember I was paranoid you would try to get Lana killed based on your suspicion that her 'Crazy psychopath personality' killed Alex, which was ironically very hard to convince you of considering the theory was already so prominent for you even though you made the evidence yourself.
I think that was the problem, her being such an odd one compared to your other characters. Hell, I believe you have submitted Rose to Forum of Thrones very shortly before I came up with that theory, so forgive my initial scepticism about Lana being an okay person, I think after reading through Rose's character submission it is not too far fetched to assume you did something similar with Lana. But do not worry, I would have never tried to get her killed out of mere (and admittedly far-fetched) suspicion. I wouldn't have even tried to get Luke killed out of mere suspicion and my real hatred at him arguably only started once he was confirmed. Unless I have a very good reason to believe that a character will be dangerous to those I like, I don't need to take such precautionary measures.
Thank you for debunking that. I do still fear that the legendary liquid wrath will one day turn to one of mine....oh what a dreaded day will that be. Yeah....Rose. Yeah its hard not to see me make a character like that and assume the small town country girl would just be a mask to another monster. Then again Rose was a very special case if you remember. So I can confirm to you that Lana is basically a polar opposite as you might have already seen from her attitude.
That being said I will honestly admit that Lana DOES have a few secrets, but when I made her I was trying to make a good but extremely flawed person so take that as you will.
Take your pick, Liquid. Which is it going to be?
Let's boil your theories down to two things: alternate reality and vivid hallucination. I will say both theories are very interesting, but you'll have to forgive me for not being able to discuss or expand on what you've suggested and excuse me for not able to speak decisively about either of them. Here's what I can say: both are passible, neither hit the nail directly on the head, and an explanation exists for most of the strange things which will occur in this story.
However, your actual reaction seems to be missing from your comments. So I have a question for you: Firstly, how does Rachel and Alexander's possible nonexistence make you feel? Secondly, considering for a moment either of your theories is true, how does that make you feel?
Edit: I also thought I should mention that the technic that allowed me to write ahead of time/jumpstart my creativity has been to have the protagonists sort of ricochet off of each other.
Well I have my own question to you as well. PRETENDING that the parallel universe theory is true would it have in anyway a link to the fact that I have mentioned this so constantly in Prime?
Also are you CONFIRMING that Alex and Rachel do not currently exist?
Pretending for a moment that such wild speculation is true, no, actually and surprisingly. Again, speaking hypothetically, the plot I've concocted originated from an entirely different direction and has sort of arrived at a similar crossroads, allegedly. Once again speaking hypothetically, it may have come from wanting to differentiate from the original story.
I've neither confirmed nor denied such a thing! For all we know, they're at school! Or possibly, due to some cruel twist of reality, they don't exist...
Well in this very unlikely scenario, that is extremely surprising. I find it both incredibly coincidental and somewhat intreaging.
Then again i would also worry alot that the two (though extremely unlikely as it could be) would eventually reach a similar premise. Meaning that Silicon, which has so far has had better timing with parts and a higher viewership could overshadow Prime.
I also worry for Silicon itself. This possible premise, if not done correctly could easily turn out like the Luke debacle with good intentions and creative ideas reaching unwanted and unenjoyable states for its readers.
And i do also worry for the characters, seeing as in this scenario the story is protaginized by alternate versions. The childless but married Clive is the focus, while the one Liquid intended is left as a bizzare version to the 'main' one. Rachel and Alex are forever marked as odd renditions of another world that Clive either lives in, making them seem strange or a possiblility Clive will prefer, making them even odder.
But i trust and have faith that if this is the case, you can pull it off.
As for Rachel and Alexander im starting to lean more to Liquids thoughts. I don't feel like you would have not mentioned them if you didn't have a good reason.
I think I may have misunderstood your question, thinking it regarded your references to Silicon and Silicon County. Now, I think I get what you mean: the possible similarities between this and The Multiverse: Prime itself (but correct me if I'm wrong.) Anyway, firstly, I understand why that might worry you, but I assure you it is not my intention whatsoever to overshadow or even copy Prime. Prime is a wonderful and unique story. Whatever my alleged brand of reality muck is, it is far, far different from what I perceive as yours. I can expand on the differences if it still concerns you, but I insist on doing so privately.
Secondly, I'm going to go above and beyond to avoid any Luke-esque debacles, which I consider to be the biggest flaw of the original story, and which sapped the enjoyment of the story from others, myself included. To accomplish this, themes which we will be exploring again will be explored in a much different way.
However, I haven't considered that this possible (and obviously highly unlikely) alternate reality scenario might do the same thing. I've said it before, but this isn't going to be a happy story. At times, it may be downright miserable. Overall, each storyline (excluding the weird one) is going to explore a variety of incredibly complicated family relationships through an ever more complicated (and still alleged) plot device. Family, Love, Good Intentions and Inevitability are some of the themes these storylines share.
If the such a thing happens, if the story becomes bogged down and unenjoyable because of what's to come, there's is very little I can do to foresee what parts of my plans will be disagreeable. There will probably be many things liked and disliked by different readers. I suspect I'll find out when the time comes.
This, I suppose, is the new form of Luke-debacle you've mentioned. It worries me as well, and I'm afraid that I have might have given Liquid the short end of the stick once again, but I'm going to strive to provide a satisfying story, with layers, and developments, and dynamics, with many ups and downs, with many painful "feels" and good "feels". Ultimately, Liquid shouldn't be afraid. Alas, it is going to be a carousel of strangeness—far different from a rollercoaster.
I hope so, too. I think it's possible. I believe I've put a lot more thought into the planning of the reboot than I ever put into the original story. But you're endless support when I presented the idea of a reboot to you deserves equally endless credit! This wouldn't be possible without you and Liquid and every other wonderful user here! And thanks to you and the others, I might just be able to pull it off!
I meant both to be honest. Basically I was asking if Primes repeated insistence that Silicon is a place north of it and the fact that I have referenced it as much as possible (even adding it to characters backstories) mostly because I love it and it has always had the potential to be astonishingly great. And I was also worried that since in this scenario you were also thinking Multiverse and since Silicon has gathered more readers, especially lately anything that might make Prime unique or good dies out because Silicon becomes superior.
As for the Luke thing this is something I worry about a lot too. The big problem was that Alex became the most underused thing in the story, the first big shocking plot point that drives everything at first but will most likely become absolutely irrelevant once the story progresses. Rachel and Clive are never seen interacting with him, nor are any other people. He needed more time. Heck you could have made a random made up kind who was friends with him die. That hurts but also gives the others plot.
My biggest fear right now is that indeed Rachel and Alex end up becoming possibilities driven by Clives choices than characters. But I hope that will be avoided. I also currently remain hopeful that in the future more characters will become protagonists.
And thank you, I trust you and I know you can do it!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do Clive, Thomas and Tyler have something in common? I'm just curious about your reasoning for choosing those three as POV's.
The decision wasn't conscious—I picked characters who I believed I could write storylines for. Connections were drawn as an afterthought. The biggest one known to me is that they all have complicated family lives. Plus, their storylines share various themes.
And they're all ridiculously handsome?
A lot of this, unfortunately, is entirely out of my control. But, alleged alternate realities and hallucinations aside, I assure that Silicon County will not employ the Multiverse Theory. I'm gonna PM you soon because there are some things I think we should discuss.
My decision to kill off Alexander was possibly the worst one. This isn't applicable to Alex's case, whose treatment I acknowledge as completely unfair and uncalled for, but I'm not capable of giving every character an equal amount of screen time and development. It's something that worries me. It's why I've divided the reboot into (mostly) separate storylines so I'm able to give them each a set of main and secondary characters, so I'm hopefully able to give them all significant screen time. And, thankfully, I think it's working!
Speaking strictly hypothetically, Clive would choose his children over anything. Allowing the readers to choose between a state of reality where his kids don't exist and one where they do, in this regard, would be a disservice to his character, because he would never see it as a choice. You needn't worry about that. Anyway, admittedly, I don't have many ideas at the moment for additional storylines with new protagonists, but I do have ideas to... sort of rotate the protagonists in existing storylines. A good example might be Lana. If she remains a major character in Thomas's storyline, she might, at some point, take the helm.
Tyler is a charmer. Thomas is pretty hunky. Clive is... found ridiculously handsome by Melissa.
I see... so Melissa suffers from hallucinations?
Kalopsia, maybe.
Hm... I actually had yet another idea, tied with the knight in the beginning and these orbs he took. The number of orbs would fit the figures Clive saw, one of which resembled Rachel. I had to think, what if by taking these orbs, these people were basically erased from existence? Meaning, they did exist before, but are now gone and forgotten due to whatever the knight did. That would explain how they both clearly existed in the prologue, but apparently no longer do so in the current parts. But at the same time, they likely exist somehow, if Clive's dream is any indicator.
I also had the weird thought, what if I am wrong completely? What if they both exist, what if Rachel is still in L.A. and what if Alex is still at school in these parts, but then again, there's too much speaking against such a thing, including Clive's inability to recognize her in his dream.
Well, I'm not sure how I feel. Certainly not happy, I mean, that would be a pretty weird thing to be happy about. Neither sad though. It's also not indifference. More like, hm, how to put it, anticipation. I mean, I do miss both terribly, especially as I rather obviously liked both of them more than Clive from their submission alone (and I think I outright stated this before), but from several of your comments, I think it has been implied that both will have a role in the story and that means that neither is actually cut from it. So, I don't think I am worried either and I certainly look forward to meet them eventually. It is a bit of an odd feeling. Curiosity might be the right word, a very neutral form of curiosity, where I am neither happy nor sad about the current status, but highly interested where this is leading to. I haven't detailed my own feelings about this because it is hard to say how I actually feel about it. Maybe I'll get a more clearer feeling about this situation later on, once it becomes more obvious what is happening, if they really don't exist, if they stay nonexistant and stuff like that.
Hm, that is a hard question. Again, I don't really know how to feel about it. I mean, that holds a lot of potential. Shifting timelines, parrallels and the likes of it. Just imagine what would happen if Rachel and Alexander would somehow meet up with this version of their parents and realize that they don't recognize them. Or how Clive would feel if he learns that he actually has two children. I think I lean a bit more into a positive direction with this than with the possibility that they simply don't exist at all currently, but overall, it is still a relatively neutral feeling I have about this situation, not leaning completely into either direction. I mean, I think it is too early for that and first I gotta get a better idea of what you have planned and how you would plan to use such a situation.
I mean, all in all, having read through Lord's comments, he kind of expresses some of the worries I naturally have as well, but at the same time, I don't fully feel that way either. I mean, what he said, that is the elephant in the room, the obvious worry that it could go down that way, but at the same time, the current situation is nothing I really disapprove of. Clive for example, while different from the Clive I submitted, still somewhat feels like the same guy even if he is not and at the end of the day, that intrigues me. Melissa's presence intrigues me even more and what you have planned for her role in this story and especially in the Carson family. If she is alive and if Rachel and Alexander are going to appear while she is around, I am super curious how such a meeting would go down. In the end, I think I mostly see the potential such a situation holds and it is too early to have a genuine feeling about this. But there is a lot of potential for several outcomes and plenty of other stuff this could lead to and at least until I know for sure what kind of consequence is going to come, I am mostly excited where this will lead.
Gosh, I hope I don't sound negative. I'm not negative about this. I currently put a lot of thought into this scenario and I have come to the conclusion that a feeling into one particular direction would be rash. I am more confused and curious than anything else. I mean, it's not the Luke situation, not even remotely. They are not dead, I just have no idea at all what happened and unlike the Luke situation, there is plenty of possibilities how things can get resolved in a more positive fashion. In the end, I just have to reserve any sort of judgement on the situation for later. Sorry that I can't give you a clearer answer now, I'd like to, really. But I am not able to put my feelings for that into words. Uneasy could be a good word for it, but at the same time, it sounds probably too negative to how I truly feel. Maybe anticipating is a better word. I am anticipating to learn more about what is going on and what you have planned. A completely neutral reaction, even though I am obviously highly emotionally involved in this situation.
I must also make sure that, if you are worried about that, I don't feel like I got the short end of anything. I mean, for crying out loud, one of the three protagonists of the story has been submitted by me and while he himself is probably one of my lesser liked characters if seen in comparison to all the characters I have ever submitted for every story (perhaps even the least favourite, sorry Cliff), he still gives me that special feeling I always have when I see something I created in the wonderful story you are writing. Sure thing I would obviously prefer having Rachel and Alex in the story right now, but well, that is to b expected and I'm sure everyone would feel that way. Right now, I am just curious to see where everything is leading to, before I have a clearer picture on how I feel about everything. I mean, if I am unhappy about anything right now, it is about the fact that I am super confused how I should feel, as well as super confused what is going on. Though I also feel happy about the fact that I can speculate, so that gives me an all in all very ambivalent and anticipating feeling.
Six times. I am really sorry. My computer must have done something. I think i got all the reposts this time.
Quadruple post. Man im sorry.
Double post.
FIVE TIMES reposted?!!!! extremelly sorry.
Omg Hope who is blackmailing you?!!!! But in all seriousness never feel like something is out of your control in your story. There is always room to change things you don't fell ok with or just don't work.
Yeah thats a problem. I myslef have had to make 95% of all the characters P.O.V's in order to give them all fair screen time but you can see that caused other issues and did't really solve the problem.
Worst case you could make it a choice between them and his wife. You could easily make this about Clive chosing his existance. Which would really only add to that weird...mirage type feeling with Alex and Rachel instead of them being characters like everyone else.
Ok, now you are just urging me make Thomas a Lana stalker
.
Triple post, sry.
You okay buddy? lol
What I meant is that I can't control user interests or anything to do with Prime. Say the word and I'll post shoutout, but I'm not sure I'm capable of much else.
Anyway, there's another thing I wanted to mentioned, which is experience. This is technically my seventh rodeo if you count the original and reboot as separate entities. You see, usually one improves their writing by continually writing.
I finished my first two stories, canceled my next two, my fifth is still ongoing, I canceled my sixth and have rebooted it as my seventh. In your first attempt at writing a forum story, you've surpassed the quality of my fifth! That's freaking impressive! Keep writing, Lord, and you'll surpass me in no time! :^)
I don't think I could ever handle that many POVs. I get mirage just trying to imagine how Liquid manages all of his storylines and hundreds of characters. I don't think I could ever create something as sprawling and complex as that. Recently, I've begun to cautiously venture into more storylines. There's three here, a few new ones starting up in the next act of Monument, and hopefully more on the horizon.
You see, hypothetically speaking, I would never put a choice like that into the story. It would go against many things that I believe about Clive as a character. Because (again, this is all very hypothetical) to Clive, there would be only one reality—the one in which his kids exist. Between his wife and his children, he would always choose his children. The same can be said about Melissa.
So now Thomas is Lana's plot armor/plot power up? lol. I'm really interested in seeing how that goes.
Always ok
. My pad is just terrible.
I never ask for shout outs. I feel like its the same as self promotion only someone else is doing it. Be my guest if you want but only because YOU want to.
Yeah i know, but how long were those stories? By its current rate Prime will take a few years easily. I think only FOT will be able to top it in leght, maybe Monument if i start to rush it. Its a long time.
Oh no don't ever think i wish to surpass you or Liquid. Our styles and themes are unique and good in different ways. You cannot say that you like FOT and Prime for the same reason. Infact you cant even say Monument is liked for the same reason Silicon is. I see us as equals. Friends who wish to practice writting and interact with an audience and grow and improve together
. I hope one day i do have more readers, but i also wish and hope you do too.
Its not hard if you have a plan. Say you want pov A to get to determinant plot point T or determinant plot point Q then just write things out according to the choices. If you have an insane amout of characters just make sure they all follow one or several plots. For example say.......they all have to get on this buss. Now it might end up taking you 2 damn years to get through every single person and you might have to spend entire parts with just forshadowing for things people wont get for a few years when they don't remember it and make a bunch of side plots.........but there is a very low chance it will go that route............very, very low....................
Well then i retract my statement. Still there is a terrible possible choice you could do in that scenario, i just feel it.
I also look forward to me picking the 'Obsess over Lana' option more times than Emma gets the 'Obsess over Lucios' option
You make an incredibly good point. I agree with you and think that's a much better way to see things. And you'd be surprised how many new readers have come out of the woodwork recently over at MttWD, over a year after it started, (wonderful and much appreciated) assistance from Liquid's shoutouts aside. I suspect the same is liable to happen for Prime since it will probably run just as long, if not longer.
I guess this stylistic differences you mentioned. I'm borderline incapable of exploring settings in a small time frame if that makes sense. I don't think I could handle a bus ride, like you have, for that reason. I get very self-conscious about meandering and I have a lot of trouble handling casual conversation. But speaking of a multitude of characters, I worry a lot about characterization. In the past, a lot of my characters have been analogies of each other. Thankfully, I feeling good about how I've painted the characters so far in the reboot. That can be chalked up to how diverse they were to begin with—a lot of users, you included, have provided an amazing cast to play around with! I'm looking forward to posting the next part, in which our resident jokester goes full-sarcasm.
I thought about it for a few unholy days and came to the conclusion of how cheap it would be to make Liquid choose between two characters he submitted and one who was just supplemented by me. Additionally, it really wouldn't be a hard choice at all. This is beside the fact that it would go against completely Clive's character.
If it fits, it ships, huh?
Firstly, I've decided to further separate the Silentium stuff as its own plot. I've renamed it Epilogue to Fire—if you ask me, it's much better-fitting name—and have classified it as an ongoing One-Shot, still airing as introductions for each chapter. Though, I am considering posting sections periodically throughout each chapter so I can move onto something new in the next act. Of course, it still ties crucially into Silicon County's main plotlines.
Anyway, I will confirm that the absences of certain characters are not correlated to the knight's abstraction of the eight orbs. The figures Clive dreams of, one which is very likely Rachel, are connected. These connections will be clearer as things progress.
We will have a definitive answer the question of Rachel and Alexander's whereabouts. The reason of their possible disappearances might also be subtly hinted at.
I think I understand what you're getting at. Luckily, you'll likely have more information by chapter two to go off of. I think I have plans for the later acts which will likely please you. I mentioned to Lord the possibly of Lana maintaining the point of view for Thomas's storyline for a time. A rotation of protagonists, if you will. Acts would divide that well, I think, and there are three of them. Excluding Melissa, there are also three Carsons. Hmm...
I find it reassuring that you don't feel cheated by the way I'm handling the Carsons in the reboot. I think, I really do, that you will be ultimately quite satisfied by what's in store. Now, let me assure that you don't sound negative at all—to me, you seem to be conducting yourself exactly that way you've described: fairly neutral on the disposition-slider but heavily invested in what revelations are in store. There are ups and downs in stone, things that will tip that slider every which way, but, as I say frequently in Monument, prepare for the worst, hope for the best. There's trouble afoot, but you'll learn that Clive isn't helpless. And as you're well aware, being their creator, Clive would do anything for his children. If some supernatural entity or temporal anomaly has taken his kids away, he'd get them back.
Voting is closed!
(!) Thomas Callahan will catch a ride to the hospital
The next part, introducing Tyler Gavins, has been written and is in need of a mere few revisions to be posted. I have homework to work on this evening, so if I have the time and I'm able to perform the editing quickly, the new part may come out as soon as tonight or as late as tomorrow morning. I'll see you soon either way!
Tyler Gavins, 01-05: Tyler stood dangerously close to the edge of the cliff, looking down into the perfect if murky reflection of the dark blue sky while a cool breeze chilled him through his black jacket, getting the odd notion that the surface was an extension of the sky. From atop the flooded quarry’s southern lip, he could see far in a range from northwest to northeast. He took it all in, the leaves in a spectrum between yellow and red and brown painted the stretching landscape; the nude trees—with bark possessed of a faded, gray-brown color—rose from the ground; and the near cloudless, purple-orange sky that drew complete the picture. Autumn was well underway. Tyler breathed deeply, a burning sensation in his lungs. It was nice.
“Tyler,” Samantha called, “you know I don’t like it when you do stuff like this! You better get back over here because you’re about to get left in the dust!”
Tyler smiled to himself, stepping away from the cliff. He shoved his hands in his jacket as he walked because they were becoming less responsive, less precise in the cold air. “I’m coming!” His breath condensed in the air before him. He left the clearing offered by the cliff and slid downslope on his sneakers between trees, breaking onto the path at a run. Samantha and Kayla were waiting there. Sam shook her head in mock disappointment, gave Kayla—who shared the bicycle with her—a head’s up, and pushed powerfully down on the pedals, shooting down the path.
“Hey, wait!” Tyler shouted. He kicked up the bike’s stand and hopped on, pedaling quickly to catch up. He laughed because it was thrilling to follow and feel the rises, falls, and curves of the trail. He laughed because he was having a good time.
He was having a grand time until he hit a root too large for his bike to climb. His bike stopped painfully, bringing back down to earth. He rolled back, adjusted his direction, and continued forward. He caught up with them once the path transitioned to an uphill climb.
“Too slow!” he hissed breathlessly as he zipped past them. He was smiling again. He got to the top of the hill, then waited.
After having watched the soccer game, they rode had rode their bikes out of the school parking lot and into the woods immediately adjacent to it, exploring the weave of back roads and paths that were present in a good portion of the woods surrounding Hawley—once you got past the thinning residential properties, of course. Tyler and Sam had a good mental map of the area, and while they explored, they gravitated toward the Jones’ diner for an evening meal. Kayla tagged along on days like today, days like the soccer game, but due to her her blindness, she typically found alternate transportation.
A few moments later, Samantha came up the hill, out of breath. “Tyler, you’re such an ass!” She was smiling, too. As was Kayla, but her’s was more subdued. Sam’s panting shifted smoothly into a sigh. “No more detours, alright? Let’s get to the diner. I’m starved.”
“Already?” Tyler questioned, faking exasperation. “We just left the school!”
“I agree with Sam,” Kayla mediated, flashing a smile in the direction of Tyler’s voice.
Tyler shrugged with defeat, sighing loudly to give Kayla an auditory clue. “I guess you’ve got me outnumbered,” he murmured. “Well, let’s get going already.”
Kayla rode with him the rest of the way. Tyler pressed forward quickly but exercised caution. He didn’t need to push himself until the twisting path straightened out and became a long, steep slope to the top. A clearing was visible far ahead at the opposite end, but it was veiled by their angle of approach, a patch of darkening sky on display.
Tyler burst from the treeline, flying an inch or two off the ground due to the incline acting as a ramp. He felt Kayla’s arms tighten around his stomach when the bike hit the tarmac half a second later, concealing a surprised grunt. Sam followed closely as they looped around the building, the two bikes coming to a gradual stop in front of the diner. They dismounted, Kayla snapped together the segments of a folding cane, and—just as the crowdedness of the parking lot had registered with Tyler—entered the diner to the bombardment of noise created by a full house of customers.
Kayla frowned dispassionately, taking the crook of Tyler’s elbow for guidance in the chaotic space.
“We’ll gonna starve!” Tyler exclaimed, his voice raised to be heard over the commotion.
Sam lightly punched his free arm. “Whoever said handouts were free? C’mon, let’s see if we can help mom and Cassie speed things up. Hard work adds flavor, you know.”
“That’s strange,” he murmured. “I’ve never see ‘hard work’ on a spice rack.”
She punched him harder this time, wiping the smirk clean off his face. He gave her a pained puppy-dog expression and she rolled her eyes. “Or you can wait it out. It’s your choice.”
“Well,” he muttered, shrugging the ache out of his battered arm, “let’s not stand idle.”
They navigated the packed diner carefully. More than once, Tyler jerked Kayla out of the way of an apparently oblivious customer. More than once, it was a false alarm, an overreaction on his part. As they walked the alongside the counter, they passed Misses Cassidy Classon, an older woman employed by Sam’s mother. Cassidy stood at the inner side of the counter, clad in a dirty apron and sweat-stained work clothes, having found a moment’s rest amid the turmoil. She was enjoying a rare reunion with her husband, a trucker, and Emily, her grown up daughter. Both were sat across the counter on stools and looked over their shoulders when Cassidy gave an approving nod and smile toward the three of them. Sam and Tyler replied kindly with nods of their own while Kayla was unaware of the silent exchange. Tyler briefly met Emily Classon’s green eyes, met the unfaltering but pleasant stare of someone whose mood wasn’t typically so openly merry. She seemed happy.
Then they were past and the Classons returned to their conversation, but Tyler felt her gaze linger on him a second longer. They circled the counter, Sam slipped through, holding the hinged bar hatch up while Tyler led Kayla through.
In the moment Tyler had noticed the fact that Bernie Jones was tending to the grill, Sam had rushed past him and Kayla, acting more like an eight-year-old than a teenager of seventeen and jumping into her older brother’s arms. Tyler winced—and Kayla, too, it seemed—but Bernie caught her and precariously shifted her body until she was on his shoulders and there was little chance he would drop her. It was a feat that would not have been accomplished had Sam not been spindly and Bernie not been a sturdy tree of a man.
Bernie approached. Sam’s expression was smug as she looked down on them. “Bonjour, peasants,” she said, echoing her voice and whispering to simulate distance. She rested her elbows on Bernie’s head, leaned forward dangerously, and addressed him: “What the hell are you doing back here?”
“Don’t let mom catch you swearing,” he cautioned lightheartedly. As if on cue, Sam looked nervously at her mother and her mother glanced back, busy expertly taking an order while simultaneously pouring a drink. Her gaze was pulled back when Bernie answered: “I caught an earlier break than expected and came straight home the minute I had the chance.”
“Did you catch the game?” she asked.
“Nope!” he said, suddenly lifting her off his shoulder—her head narrowly missing the ceiling—and lowering her to the checkered tile with the skill of a partnering dancer. Bernie gave Tyler a sweaty hug, patting him hard on the back—because buzzcuts couldn’t be satisfyingly ruffled—then shook hands with Kayla.
Tyler and Sam were put to work—cooking, pouring drinks, taking orders, washing dishes and generally clearing—while Kayla was allowed to read a braille novel in the back of the diner. After about forty-five minutes, there was a gap in the flow of customers and Mrs. Jones and Mrs. Classon were able to handle everything from then on. Bernie grilled up some patties, they all prepared their food, then the four of them went out the back to a picnic bench and enjoyed a hard earned (and in Kayla’s case, long-waited for) meal of hamburgers, freshly cut fries, and cream sodas.
Night had long since descended. Two bright flood lights held the darkness at bay, but its province ended well before the treeline. The four of them talked, joked, laughed, ate second helpings, caught up, joked some more, and finally ate dessert. One by one, in an indiscernible line of pure black, the stars were swallowed by the moving blanket of clouds until the crescent moon was merely a vague, glowing silhouette in the sky. It was five after eleven before anyone realized how late it was.
Tyler yawned despite the sugar, throwing his third empty can of soda at the recycling bin and nailing the shot to his own surprise. He still had to stand and pick up the two he’d missed, which diminished the effect greatly, but Bernie still gave him a congratulatory slap on the back when he had returned.
The back door opened and closed. Marsha Jones approached the table, a white jacket applied over her work clothes. “Cassidy’s heading home,” she said, her voice a whisper in the chilling breeze. “Samantha, honey, put your bike in the diner then lock up. Benjamin’s driving you to school tomorrow.”
“Sweet,” she murmured tiredly. Sam took the key, walking away from the table, then scratched her head with confusion and looked back. “Are we taking Kayla and Tyler home?”
“Kayla, yes. Tyler?” It was an offer.
Tyler looked up from where he was milling about, kicking tufts of grass that had grown between the cracks in the concrete, and shook his head. “No, thank you, ma’am. I’ll see myself home.”
Mrs. Marsha nodded, although she seemed a bit reluctant.
Sam left to put her bike up and the gathering grew thinner. Tyler followed Mrs. Marsha, Bernie, and Kayla around the diner until they rounded the corner. Here, he stopped by his bicycle and leaned on the building, watching through clouds of his own condensing breath as they filed into Mrs. Marsha’s van. Sam emerged from diner’s entrance a moment after the lights went out, locking the door behind her.
She handed him his backpack and threw her own over her shoulder. They hugged briefly then parted. She looked off, sighing a long wave of vapor, probably just realizing the sky was starless. Finally, she said, “Mom’s invited you and your family to thanksgiving on Thursday.”
He smiled in a somber way. “Yikes. You’ve made a mistake telling me. You see, we’ll gonna take you up on that offer. Did Mrs. Marsha consider the possibility that we might accept?”
“Oh, shut up,” she said, suppressing a grin. She punched his arm once last time, but it was more of a friendly nudge. “See you at school?”
“Of course,” he replied. “Bye, Sam.”
“See you later, Ty,” she whispered.
She climbed into the back of the van and slammed the door shut. Tyler returned to leaning on the building as he watched the van pull out of parking space, out of the parking lot, and onto the road and away. He listened to the sound of crunching gravel until it slowly faded into the night.
There was silence. Tyler sighed, watching the cloud dissipate. The surrounding forest crackled noisily in a sudden gust of wind and Tyler shivered, a flurry of leaves scattering across the parking lot. He whispered to himself that one shouldn’t stand idle, tossed on his backpack, stomped his sneakers and clapped his hands to get the blood flowing, and climbed onto his bicycle. He pedaled to the trailhead then paused to lean forward, flicking the switch to a single, round headlight that painted the first few tree trunks in light, then only the bare branches from that point onward as the landscape sloped downward. He rolled forward, extinguishing thick pools of darkness, and descended the wooded path.
To be continued...
I loved it! Tyler is everything I imagined. This part actually was a nice change of pace, it was so happy and kept a smile on my face the entire time.
I'm glad! Yes, the tone of his POV was much lighter than the previous ones. It was really the polar opposite of his piece in the prologue in terms of tone. The lighthearted attitudes of the characters involved and Tyler especially can be thanked for that.
I do have to ask, do you have any criticisms or suggestions about how I've characterized Tyler? And on the other side of things, is there anything you liked in particular that you would like to see more of?
TO OTHER READERS I talk about certain things regarding Tyler's personality that haven't been revealed in the story yet. If you want things about his personality to be a complete surprise do NOT read the suggestions section of my comment.
Criticisms: I don't have any criticisms right now.
Suggestions: I'd suggest showing off some of his negative emotions, like his anger. From what I remember about writing him I believe I said he had a pretty bad temper (correct me if I'm wrong.) Take Alexander Carson for example. From what I know of him I don't think Tyler would get along with him and they'd probably butt heads a lot. To be fair I don't know Alexander very well so I could be completely wrong about that. My point is that I'd like to see Tyler's temper at some point.
What I'd like to see: Tyler and Samantha! I loved their banter and want to see more of it and see their relationship develop.
His temper and impatience were mentioned in his submission. However, so far nothing has been done to him or his friends that might invoke his anger. It is an inevitability that those traits be seen at some point, though. Of course, this chapter going to be all sunshine and rainbows for Tyler, and there's going to be some heavy tension very soon.
I'm happy their banter was appreciated! I should mention that I don't have any plans to make them a couple. They're just really good and close friends.
Intriguing. Very intriguing... So, it is a one-shot that is still crucial to the main plotlines? I really can't wait for this to make sense, because I'm sure the realization just what is going on there will be awesome
Huh, this is even more intriguing. I mean, if Rachel and Alex are both missing, then Alex could be another figure, which means they would be connected through family. But the others? Man, I don't know. That's basically all there is about the Carson family, so I doubt the other six are actually blood-related to them, if Alex is even one of these figures to begin with.
Hm, alright, this is good. These hints, have there already been some? I try to read as cautious as possible, but I haven't found any so far.
You understand? That's good, because honestly, I myself am not entirely sure what I was getting at. It is a large mixture of emotions, of which anticipation is perhaps the strongest one. You got me more than intrigued. And one thing I haven't even considered is a possibl connection between the number of Carsons and th acts... hm, I feel like I am about to realize something important, but there is some crucial information still missing. I love that feeling, I think I haven't been that positively confused in a long while.
Ah, it is good that I don't sound negative. It's something I always have to struggle with, that I sound way more negative than I truly feel. And I don't doubt that I will like what is in store. I mean, it's obvious that I was a bit disappointed with the Carsons in the original story, but even then, that wasn't a complete disappointment, as Rachel and Clive have been quite nice. And no matter what the current situation is, it is drastically different from the situation in the original story for sure and the possible non-existance of Rachel and Alex is something completely unlike Luke murdering Alex. Whereas the latter drew my ire and directed it at Luke in a rather severe way, the former makes me too confused to feel anything negative. And of course, that is my secret, I am always prepared for the worst
As for Clive, this was something I had to wonder during your talk with Lord here. If Rachel and Alex do not exist in this current version of the timeline, would Clive still do anything to get them back? I wasn't sure about it myself, because by all means, their non-existance would basically mean that he is a completely different person, with completely different experiences. But it is reassuring to know that he would still do this for them, as it means that at heart, he still shares the key characteristics with the man he was in the original story.
This was a great introduction to Tyler's storyline! So far, I haven't seen anything that supports my theory about the three protagonists though, even if I tried to look closely. I might have to rethink that one. Then again, perhaps Mikey does not exist in this timeline, similar to what I think about Rachel and Alex. In that case, there obviously won't be any hints at him still being alive, because well, Tyler wouldn't even know about him.
But ah, away from the tinfoil for now, back to the part itself! I liked this part a lot. Tyler was the one I was probably the most curious about out of the three protagonists. I mean, I obviously knew what kind of guy Clive would be (even though you certainly managed to surprise me) and Thomas was featured in the original story enough to give me an idea about him. But Tyler was a very minor character in the original story, only appearing in one part if I'm not mistaken. That means, I had no real idea about how he would be. Now that I see him, I like him. He's great and his sarcasm is a welcome change from the more serious personalities of Clive and Thomas. And seeing Sam and Kayla again was really nice as well. You know, I constantly expected something terrible to happen and I was pleasantly surprised that it didn't, at least for now
Well I wasn't implying a couple. I meant their relationship in general.