Is it safe to walk around your neighborhood? If so, give that a try. Of course, you'll still be with yourself, and still trying to put yourself down, so to avoid that, try to observe as much as you can while you walk. Look at all the details of the buildings, yards, vehicles, and anyone else you also happen to see walking around. The exercise and different ways of thinking will be good for you.
You don't have to answer questions like "Do you have any friends?" with Yes/No. You can answer, "There's some guys I hang out with a lot at school." If they follow up with, "Do you see anyone outside of school?", you can reply, "Not much, my transportation options are limited." There are truthful ways to answer without going into how badly you think of yourself.
You're right. I need to find something to occupy my mind.
I'm pretty sure I am crazy though. There's another layer to these thoughts that I haven't shared... Not sure if I ever will. But hey, being crazy is cool. The Joker is pretty rad, right?
So, recently I've had this thing where I can't stand hanging around my house. Like, I think of any excuse to get out of the house and do som… moreething -- anything, and I didn't really know why.
I live with my sister who hates leaving the house, she mainly just wants to stay inside. I don't really have a way to leave without her so I end up staying at home too, which drives me crazy. Even if I were to be able to leave the house, I don't know what I'd do.
I was trying to figure out why I felt this way. I thought I just preferred to be studying or hanging with friends (which is true), but I think I figured out what the problem really is. I don't hate being at home, I hate being with myself.
When I'm alone with no distractions, I can't help but to think. A lot. Too much. Whenever I'm feeling happy or positive about something that happened, when I get home (with nothing to distract me anymore) my mind automatically goes over that moment repea… [view original content]
It sounds like things are really stressful for you. I don't think you're crazy.
Did you always use to feel this way? Like AChicken pointed out, you said "recently", implying that this is something new. Have you always hated being with yourself?
Sometimes you have to step outside of your situation to be able to see what's really going on. When you're inside a fog, you can't see where you're going.
I try to think only of the positives, but it doesn't work.
Yeah, that doesn't really work for me either. Focusing only on positive things and ignoring the negative... I don't know, it just doesn't feel right to me. I definitely agree that a lot of people nowadays focus way too much on negative things which makes us overlook the positive, but I don't believe either ends of the spectrum should be ignored.
Negative feelings and emotions can be useful, they can alert you to danger for example, but if you dwell on them, you can become consumed and blinded by them. Likewise, positive feelings and emotions make us feel good, and give us a reason to live for. I guess it's all about finding the balance.
I end up pushing people away because I feel negatively about our relationship even though there's been nothing but positive signs.
Positive signs according to who? You feel negative about it, but it appears positive? With the limited information that I know, it sounds a bit like cognitive dissonace to me.
I often catch myself acting completely different when I'm around certain people. It's like I become someone else without meaning to.
I feel a bit like that too sometimes. Is it because you are trying to be manipulative and deceitful, or simply because you don't feel safe to be yourself? There's a big difference between the two.
I hope you are able to find peace within yourself. That is something that Prince Zuko struggled with too.
I hope that what I've said is somewhat helpful and actually makes sense. I've been kinda 'out of it' the past week or so. Probably all the drugs. Hardcore drugs. (Not really. Just a sick, twisted joke that isn't so funny considering it's a very real issue.)
So, recently I've had this thing where I can't stand hanging around my house. Like, I think of any excuse to get out of the house and do som… moreething -- anything, and I didn't really know why.
I live with my sister who hates leaving the house, she mainly just wants to stay inside. I don't really have a way to leave without her so I end up staying at home too, which drives me crazy. Even if I were to be able to leave the house, I don't know what I'd do.
I was trying to figure out why I felt this way. I thought I just preferred to be studying or hanging with friends (which is true), but I think I figured out what the problem really is. I don't hate being at home, I hate being with myself.
When I'm alone with no distractions, I can't help but to think. A lot. Too much. Whenever I'm feeling happy or positive about something that happened, when I get home (with nothing to distract me anymore) my mind automatically goes over that moment repea… [view original content]
I think this is my first time posting in this thread so "Woooo!" I think.
I feel like this is going to make seem like such a sensitive bitch but I am getting real fucking sick of some of the people on this forum. I'm not thick skinned. I can't just brush this shit off easily. I don't know if these people are just forgetting that behind our avatars are actual people reacting to the shit they say.
This isn't something that just happened either, this is something that's been happening over the course of several years on this forum. It's not even me being mad over a difference of opinion, this is me getting mad over people who will go out of their fucking way to tell you why the thing you like is fucking dog shit and you should feel shit for liking it.
I say I'm sad a show I like is getting cancelled and I get someone telling me "Good that show was shit anyway I hope the main character dies." I say I like comic books and I get called a "loser virgin with no life" (the guy who said this was a toxic piece of shit btw who didn't get banned but is no longer active as far as I know). I say I liked a game and I'm called a sellout sheep who doesn't understand what quality is. I say I liked Last Jedi? I get a fucking ten paragraph explanation on why The Last Jedi actually sucks. TWICE.
This isn't even all of them. These aren't people who replied to me saying "Eh, I don't really like that thing and here are my problems with it". Nah man, these are people saying "FUCK THE THING YOU LIKE!"
Like, goddamn people. Why can't I just like the shit I like?!
And of course the latest would be me being sad that a show I liked has ended and of course someone went out of their way to tell me they hated it in a very nonsensical manner without even providing proper criticism but instead included the Chinese viewership of the franchise for whatever reason.
I guess expecting people to act like they have at least an ounce of respect for the people around them (virtual or not) was too high of an expectation. I don't know.
I patiently await for someone on here to tell me how wrong I am again.
It's the invulnerability people feel that comes with the anonymity of the internet. When the risk of being punched in the face or having to view the anguish others feel from harsh words is taken away some people choose to be brash and mean-spirited with little repercussions. In this way the internet can almost reveal a man's true colors when expressing their opinion has virtually no real world consequences. It sucks but this kind of toxicity is always going to persist on the internet
I think this is my first time posting in this thread so "Woooo!" I think.
I feel like this is going to make seem like such a sensitive bi… moretch but I am getting real fucking sick of some of the people on this forum. I'm not thick skinned. I can't just brush this shit off easily. I don't know if these people are just forgetting that behind our avatars are actual people reacting to the shit they say.
This isn't something that just happened either, this is something that's been happening over the course of several years on this forum. It's not even me being mad over a difference of opinion, this is me getting mad over people who will go out of their fucking way to tell you why the thing you like is fucking dog shit and you should feel shit for liking it.
I say I'm sad a show I like is getting cancelled and I get someone telling me "Good that show was shit anyway I hope the main character dies." I say I like comic books and I get called a "… [view original content]
I say I like comic books and I get called a "loser virgin with no life"
Holy shit... Glad that guy is gone.
In response to your comment, yeah it sucks. But, that's just the internet's ugliest parts. People can push something to a huge extreme without any IRL repercussions, only the digital ones.
It's really hard to swallow, and maybe you want to talk back, but it's best not to. If I'm ever shut down because of an opinion, or if I'm harassed online (most likely in some online game), I try to ignore it, and take all criticisms with a grain of salt. They're missing out on some good stuff I enjoy by wasting their time melting it to the ground and more. If I'm ever insulted either, I try to laugh it off. They don't know me, it's all empty threats and lies to my side.
Maybe not the best advice, since there's no real way to get away from people who frequent here, but ...It's just best to ignore it as much as possible.
To cheer you up i guess (Here, have a gif which I have no context for but the quote is pretty appropriate for your situation.)
I think this is my first time posting in this thread so "Woooo!" I think.
I feel like this is going to make seem like such a sensitive bi… moretch but I am getting real fucking sick of some of the people on this forum. I'm not thick skinned. I can't just brush this shit off easily. I don't know if these people are just forgetting that behind our avatars are actual people reacting to the shit they say.
This isn't something that just happened either, this is something that's been happening over the course of several years on this forum. It's not even me being mad over a difference of opinion, this is me getting mad over people who will go out of their fucking way to tell you why the thing you like is fucking dog shit and you should feel shit for liking it.
I say I'm sad a show I like is getting cancelled and I get someone telling me "Good that show was shit anyway I hope the main character dies." I say I like comic books and I get called a "… [view original content]
I know how you feel dude, it just sucks really hard when you say one thing and every fedora tipping dickhead on the internet just has to prove you wrong. It really takes a toll on your self esteem and diminishes your love for something or even discussing it. Honestly if you should do anything it's just ignore them, especially when it's from a certain other person in the megathread who has some strong opinions on Rebels if you catch my drift. Just do you, man. Shit sucks a lot i know but these people are either kind about their criticism or losers with nothing better to do than yell. Your thoughts are worth so much more than the latter of those two. If you ever need to talk about this shit when it's getting too much, my DMs are always open
Also just for the record The Last Jedi was rad and i loved it too so i totally get how you feel there
I think this is my first time posting in this thread so "Woooo!" I think.
I feel like this is going to make seem like such a sensitive bi… moretch but I am getting real fucking sick of some of the people on this forum. I'm not thick skinned. I can't just brush this shit off easily. I don't know if these people are just forgetting that behind our avatars are actual people reacting to the shit they say.
This isn't something that just happened either, this is something that's been happening over the course of several years on this forum. It's not even me being mad over a difference of opinion, this is me getting mad over people who will go out of their fucking way to tell you why the thing you like is fucking dog shit and you should feel shit for liking it.
I say I'm sad a show I like is getting cancelled and I get someone telling me "Good that show was shit anyway I hope the main character dies." I say I like comic books and I get called a "… [view original content]
It's just frustrating that it's happened so many times that I had to rant about it for a bit. Especially considering how nonsensical the most recent one was.
I know how you feel dude, it just sucks really hard when you say one thing and every fedora tipping dickhead on the internet just has to pro… moreve you wrong. It really takes a toll on your self esteem and diminishes your love for something or even discussing it. Honestly if you should do anything it's just ignore them, especially when it's from a certain other person in the megathread who has some strong opinions on Rebels if you catch my drift. Just do you, man. Shit sucks a lot i know but these people are either kind about their criticism or losers with nothing better to do than yell. Your thoughts are worth so much more than the latter of those two. If you ever need to talk about this shit when it's getting too much, my DMs are always open
Also just for the record The Last Jedi was rad and i loved it too so i totally get how you feel there
You’ll know pure terror when somebody disagrees with me XD I hate unleashing my fury but I just can’t help. Sometimes I can tolerate a different opinion, but when they shit on my opinion to a certain extent or when they are ALWAYS expressing their hate in a non-constructive way, then there’s always problems.
I loved both rebels and the last Jedi, and when I see tweets, YouTube videos, comments and all that explaining in full detail why it sucked, then I get angry because it is never even constructive, they don’t give helpful advice, they just complain and that goes and puts me in a bad mood. And like you said, don’t even get me started on when they complain directly to the person who did like whatever and is expressing positivity, which is always ok because positivity is good, negativity is bad.
I think this is my first time posting in this thread so "Woooo!" I think.
I feel like this is going to make seem like such a sensitive bi… moretch but I am getting real fucking sick of some of the people on this forum. I'm not thick skinned. I can't just brush this shit off easily. I don't know if these people are just forgetting that behind our avatars are actual people reacting to the shit they say.
This isn't something that just happened either, this is something that's been happening over the course of several years on this forum. It's not even me being mad over a difference of opinion, this is me getting mad over people who will go out of their fucking way to tell you why the thing you like is fucking dog shit and you should feel shit for liking it.
I say I'm sad a show I like is getting cancelled and I get someone telling me "Good that show was shit anyway I hope the main character dies." I say I like comic books and I get called a "… [view original content]
Sorry, I was planning to finish this yesterday @Psychokinesis , but I got roped into playing some games with a family member, and then had to work right after.
You can still care about others and be confident. In fact, you'll be able to help others even more by feeling more confident.
Maybe you're right. Cause there have been plenty of moments that have played out like this; Hey, that person could use some help ... ... someone may be able to word this better... Nevermind. Someone will come along and do this better.
More confidence could reduce the amount of times this happens.
Well, I'm going to assume that's what you've been doing your whole life, I could be wrong, but has it benefited you in any way?
This is what lead me to become more distant from people. Made me not want to ask for help from people because it made me think that no one wanted to hear it. And I'm STILL thinking of it that way, even though the proof of the exact opposite is right here. And I didn't have to ask for it, it was just given when I started venting my thoughts. And I thank you, and everyone here for that. If I let go of this, and start denying in my mind that the way he made me feel isn't the same for everyone, things could change.
I was thinking that if I did try gaining more confidence by letting go of this, it would change me as a person. At the same time, I could be wrong. It's the first time I've become this self aware. My own assumptions can be misleading...
It's how we deal with our mistakes that really counts. Do you feel like he owns up to his mistakes?
Well, after the whole sister scandal. He seemed like he was sorry for what he did and had changed. But, a few months later he started saying that it was her fault that he was put in jail. Like...What? There was no way she would've had control over that situation. She was only 11. And I heard you were giving her drinks, too? JESUS, man.
I never brought that up with him. I'm worried about how it would turn out... And I really don't have much of a backbone when It comes to verbal argument. It's hard enough to talk as it is.
By the way, having ADHD doesn't mean someone lacks empathy. Not that you implied that, but it's a common misconception about ADHD and Autism in general.
Yes. And it made me remember what he said to me Christmas Day of 2016. The day before, I was so depressed that I tried to kill myself after my family members went to bed. It didn't work, but I chugged an entire liter of mouthwash and I passed out. I woke up in the hospital and he started to show how much he cared. Saying that he would help me to find a purpose if I needed it, by helping me enroll in the military. And when he was bringing me back home, be started on a rant about how he had dealt with depression through his life and told me about the number of times he tried to kill himself, but none of them worked. Saying that it's a message in itself. "If I didn't have a purpose, why am I not already dead?" And when we got to the house, we stayed in the truck and chatted for a half hour after that. He said to me that If I had died, he would've killed himself, too.
So, none of this is happening anymore. And looking back at it, it wasn't just my dad. My mom was also going through some tough times. She started to stay in her room all the time and wasn't really around anymore. She was in a dark state of mind and It kept her trapped in that room. When she did come out she didn't want to talk much and was easily angered. I had no idea what that meant at the time and thought it was just "normal". And the kids weren't all that friendly. They would want to be your friend one moment and want to pick a fight with you the next. And having that looming over your head doesn't do very good for your confidence. This wasn't anyone's fault. Just one big misunderstanding between one another. None of us knew what that was doing to me until 10 years after it all happened.
From your other post:
I have a suggestion to write out what you want to say, (that way you can think it through and make sure it's clear) and then either read it out to them, or memorize and rehearse it. I admit that doing it like that can make you feel stupid initially because it feels unnatural, like your reading from a script, but if you concentrate on just getting the first couple of words out, the rest will follow.
Writing this out would be a good idea. It's time for them to know about this. Some of my folks went down to florida for a vacation and won't be back for another week or so. That'll be enough time to put this together.
And thanks for the article. From what I posted above, plenty of these were there, but not from just one person. There's a lot to forgive and forget, but forgiveness isn't the hard part...
So, I've went through a rough time. I've spent the first month or two in denial and almost literally living here while not at work. There was an unhealthy period of time where I was, honestly, reading EVERY post on this forum. Mods could attest to this. Life, then, came crashing down and hard. At first, I was ignoring all my problems and just kept trucking on, pushing myself forward, like a "good" stereotypical German male. Eventually, problems caught up with me, as everything I let go, started to weigh and hurt me.
I have a long, sad, history of depression and other mental illnesses. I've spent ten years of my life(past, not current) in therapy and being legally drugged to the gills. I know my issues and how to productively deal with them. I did not post in the vent/help thread simple because I know my issues and how I'm supposed to deal with them. I was simply avoiding them and hoping I could move on to what I envision as a normal life. I do urge others to share their pain and issues and pursue professional help if needed. There is nothing wrong with that. Chances are, if you're here regularly, you have some issue weighing on you. There is nothing wrong with that.
When I was a kid(we're talking around the early 90's), it was taboo to have a mental health issue. When I was a teen, it was 1/10. When I became an adult(around 2000), it was 1/5. What is it now? 1/2? All I'm trying to say is that I encourage people to seek help. It doesn't necessarily mean to call up a psychiatrist. Most people just need to recognise their problems and find a way to keep going.
I have a fist-full of issues, yet, I'm a manager at a major company, making a livable income, with a handful of close, good, friends. While I do not feel lucky or privileged, In hindsight, I am. I am lucky and fortunate. This is all I'm going to say on the matter. I really dislike talking about the subject and seeming "weak", but, I hope that this helps somebody. You're also not "weak" for needed someone.
You don't have to apologize, this is your post, take as long as you wish. (I take a while to write posts myself...!!)
there have been plenty of moments that have played out like this; Hey, that person could use some help ... ... someone may be able to word this better... Nevermind. Someone will come along and do this better. More confidence could reduce the amount of times this happens.
I understand that feeling. Like, right now. I wonder if what I'm saying is really any good.
Everyone has a story. And every story is worth hearing. Not everyone is going to want to hear it though, you just have to find someone that will listen. I understand that sometimes it can be hard to believe that you're worth being listened to, especially if you've been treated that way by others.
What your father did to your sister is really awful. That's not an easy thing to deal with. Even though he didn't do it to you, it can still effect the whole family. You're right, she was not the one in control. How could she possibly be responsible? He was the adult in the situation. He should have known better. What he is doing is called 'victim blaming'. It's very common for perpetrators to try and shift the responsibility away from them.
Letting go doesn't mean that everyone acts like nothing happened. It means you accept what happened, feel the pain and anger and any other emotions that you may feel from it, and then let it go. When you've dealt with the emotions, you don't need to hold onto them anymore. Having said that, it's not easy. Emotions can be extremely strong and overwhelming and it can be hard to know how to deal with them. It might be worth trying to find a professional to help you work through this, like a therapist, psychologist, psychiatrist etc. It might take a while to find the right person that you feel totally comfortable with, but don't give up until you do. Remember though that they're still humans too, and no one else can truly know you any better than you. Don't let anyone else tell you how you should think or feel, no matter what their authority is in society. Always keep this in mind.
You should probably confront your father about what had happened only if you feel ready to. Also, consider if bringing it up with him would make you fear for your safety. It seems like communication via writing is your strong point. He's an authority figure to you, which can make it more intimidating, so it'd probably be best to confront him in your element, in a space you feel comfortable with. e.g. by email, letters, chat messaging etc.
he started to show how much he cared. Saying that he would help me to find a purpose if I needed it, by helping me enroll in the military.
...Enrolling you into the military? Is that what you wanted to do?
He said to me that If I had died, he would've killed himself, too.
Wow, how did that make you feel?
My mom was also going through some tough times. She started to stay in her room all the time and wasn't really around anymore.
So both of your parents were emotionally unavailable? It makes sense that you have the issues that you have now, and it's amazing that you've been strong enough to survive all of this.
I know that it's a really rocky road coming to terms with the trauma that one's faced as a child. But I do believe there is a light at the end of the long, dark tunnel... even if sometimes it's hard to see.
I wish you strength and courage.
By the way, if I say anything that doesn't feel right to you, I just want to say that you don't have to listen to me or act on what I say. Do what you feel is right for you. And above all, be kind on yourself.
Sorry, I was planning to finish this yesterday @Psychokinesis , but I got roped into playing some games with a family member, and then had t… moreo work right after.
You can still care about others and be confident. In fact, you'll be able to help others even more by feeling more confident.
Maybe you're right. Cause there have been plenty of moments that have played out like this;
Hey, that person could use some help ... ... someone may be able to word this better... Nevermind. Someone will come along and do this better.
More confidence could reduce the amount of times this happens.
Well, I'm going to assume that's what you've been doing your whole life, I could be wrong, but has it benefited you in any way?
This is what lead me to become more distant from people. Made me not want to ask for help from people because it made me think that no one wanted to hear it. And I'm STILL thinking of it that way, even though th… [view original content]
What you're saying does help. And if it weren't, It's still thought provoking.
You should probably confront your father about what had happened only if you feel ready to. Also, consider if bringing it up with him would make you fear for your safety. It seems like communication via writing is your strong point. He's an authority figure to you, which can make it more intimidating, so it'd probably be best to confront him in your element, in a space you feel comfortable with. e.g. by email, letters, chat messaging etc.
Yah. Writing may be a good way to say what I want to say. But yet, there would just be something missing If I indirectly talked to him about this... My older sister was planning to bring me with her to go see him this week. She doesn't know about anything I've been saying here, but she is also agitated by this and hasn't really confronted him on it. ._. She could... Fuck. Maybe- this just needs to happen. Like you said, I just need to start and the rest will follow, and she will be there too, to back me up on my concerns. But, I would hate to put her on the spot like that...
Edit: It's tomorrow morning... Uuuhhhh Maybe not yet. Let's just have a peaceful breakfast.
It might be worth trying to find a professional to help you work through this, like a therapist, psychologist, psychiatrist etc. It might take a while to find the right person that you feel totally comfortable with, but don't give up until you do.
That would be good. I used to have councillors I would talk with, but I wouldn't really go into much detail about what I'm thinking. Often lied to them about having depressive thoughts because I was too nervous to talk about it. And they couldn't make me talk about it because that's not their job. But now, I know all of this, they can have something to go off of besides, "How's work been going?". That's not psychiatrics. That's just me talking about my day.
Enrolling you into the military? Is that what you wanted to do?
Well, I want to do other types of jobs first before I would want to go for that, but it would be interesting to see what that's like. Not really the fighting part, but everything else. My friend is looking to go and work as a technician.
Wow, how did that make you feel?
It definitely showed that he cared. There's a lot of conflicting thoughts with this, too. If I were to go, I would be responsible for his death too? And, If he began to think that I saw him as an enemy (which I don't), what would he do then? Knowing this, it might complicate things if I go to confront him...
I wish you strength and courage.
Thank you. I'm going to need it if I do this. My subconscious keeps telling me this is a bad idea. "No. You must keep the peace. What if he gets angry with you and doesn't want to talk anymore? Is this really worth losing him over?" But as before, nothing changed when I listened. We're so distant from him because we don't talk about it. If it goes the way I hope it would, maybe this could change. But, it can also backfire if we let our emotions get the better of us.
By the way, if I say anything that doesn't feel right to you, I just want to say that you don't have to listen to me or act on what I say. Do what you feel is right for you. And above all, be kind on yourself.
Your opinion is very much appreciated! I try to keep an open mind to what you're saying, along with everyone else, so I won't be stuck with just my outlook on things. I tend to go mad when I listen to myself too much...
You don't have to apologize, this is your post, take as long as you wish. (I take a while to write posts myself...!!)
there have been … moreplenty of moments that have played out like this; Hey, that person could use some help ... ... someone may be able to word this better... Nevermind. Someone will come along and do this better. More confidence could reduce the amount of times this happens.
I understand that feeling. Like, right now. I wonder if what I'm saying is really any good.
Everyone has a story. And every story is worth hearing. Not everyone is going to want to hear it though, you just have to find someone that will listen. I understand that sometimes it can be hard to believe that you're worth being listened to, especially if you've been treated that way by others.
What your father did to your sister is really awful. That's not an easy thing to deal with. Even though he didn't do it to you, it can still effect the who… [view original content]
The sister that's going to take you to see your father, maybe you should talk her about it and see what her thoughts are too? Do you think that it would distress her?
What you're saying does help. And if it weren't, It's still thought provoking.
You should probably confront your father about what had… more happened only if you feel ready to. Also, consider if bringing it up with him would make you fear for your safety. It seems like communication via writing is your strong point. He's an authority figure to you, which can make it more intimidating, so it'd probably be best to confront him in your element, in a space you feel comfortable with. e.g. by email, letters, chat messaging etc.
Yah. Writing may be a good way to say what I want to say. But yet, there would just be something missing If I indirectly talked to him about this... My older sister was planning to bring me with her to go see him this week. She doesn't know about anything I've been saying here, but she is also agitated by this and hasn't really confronted him on it. ._. She could... Fuck. Maybe- this just needs to happen. Like you s… [view original content]
I wouldn't think that it would be too much of a problem for her to talk about it, but her knowing about it would help to set a more appropriate moment to discuss this with him.
Since this won't be happening this time, I can bring this up with her after our visit.
Do you have more than one sister?
The sister that's going to take you to see your father, maybe you should talk her about it and see what her thoughts are too? Do you think that it would distress her?
Okay, so I've never talked about any of my own issues going on in my life on here before. I've seen that other people here have much bigger problems, so I wasn't sure I wanted to say anything because I didn't want to sound like I was being an ungrateful brat or something like that, ( because I am grateful for what I have), but here I go. I will be starting college in the near future so my parents have been talking to me a lot about it and stuff. Now before I go on let me just say that I am homeschooled, and I like it and I completely understand why my parents chose to homeschool me and my siblings. But now that we're talking about college their saying that they want me to do it online. Now, let me also say that my parents are really overprotective, and I can understand why in the world we live in today, but I always thought I would take some classes at this college that is nearby and still live at home, ( it's not that I'm wanting to go out of town or anything). But now I'm at the point that I don't know what I really want, and I'm seriously stressed out about the whole thing. Just the other day I was thinking “ well, if I take it all online I will probably focus on studying more”, but then I think “ but that takes away the whole experience of meeting new people and stuff like that”. I'm just so frustrated and don't really know what the right move is, and now that I'm looking at what I wrote in wondering why I'm even writing this.
In my experience, studying on campus is always better. Especially because you get to meet new like-minded people.
I guess you just really need to think about what you want. There comes a time where every kid leaves their parents, maybe studying away from home will help prepare them for that? To help them realise that you can take care of yourself.
If thats what you really want, do it. You can't waste time doing what everyone else wants you to do, you need to do what you want to do.
Okay, so I've never talked about any of my own issues going on in my life on here before. I've seen that other people here have much bigger … moreproblems, so I wasn't sure I wanted to say anything because I didn't want to sound like I was being an ungrateful brat or something like that, ( because I am grateful for what I have), but here I go. I will be starting college in the near future so my parents have been talking to me a lot about it and stuff. Now before I go on let me just say that I am homeschooled, and I like it and I completely understand why my parents chose to homeschool me and my siblings. But now that we're talking about college their saying that they want me to do it online. Now, let me also say that my parents are really overprotective, and I can understand why in the world we live in today, but I always thought I would take some classes at this college that is nearby and still live at home, ( it's not that I'm wanting to go out … [view original content]
Thank you for responding. I do a lot of the times do what my parents want me to do, and I guess sometimes that can be a good thing and sometimes not. I have not decided what I'm doing yet, but you have helped me to look at it a little different, thank you.
In my experience, studying on campus is always better. Especially because you get to meet new like-minded people.
I guess you just really… more need to think about what you want. There comes a time where every kid leaves their parents, maybe studying away from home will help prepare them for that? To help them realise that you can take care of yourself.
If thats what you really want, do it. You can't waste time doing what everyone else wants you to do, you need to do what you want to do.
I went to public schools when younger, and I attended a university out of state from where I lived previously, so my viewpoint is based on that. What I can tell you is that college is more than just an advanced high school. It's an experience where you learn how to live, and you can screw up a few times without messing up your career in the process. When you get out into the real world, knowing how to interact with others is just as important as the topics you studied, maybe even more important. You would miss out on a lot of that if you did everything online. Your parents will have to let you go eventually, and now may be better than later.
Okay, so I've never talked about any of my own issues going on in my life on here before. I've seen that other people here have much bigger … moreproblems, so I wasn't sure I wanted to say anything because I didn't want to sound like I was being an ungrateful brat or something like that, ( because I am grateful for what I have), but here I go. I will be starting college in the near future so my parents have been talking to me a lot about it and stuff. Now before I go on let me just say that I am homeschooled, and I like it and I completely understand why my parents chose to homeschool me and my siblings. But now that we're talking about college their saying that they want me to do it online. Now, let me also say that my parents are really overprotective, and I can understand why in the world we live in today, but I always thought I would take some classes at this college that is nearby and still live at home, ( it's not that I'm wanting to go out … [view original content]
I don't usually give in to venting or sadness, but lately I have just been so insanely miserable that I can barely stand it. Just recently I made a new friend online and he straight up ghosted me two weeks later. I'm used to being ghosted because it's practically a daily occurrence for me (I'm very lowkey and people just tend to gravitate away from me). I thought I was mentally prepared for it but the sudden lack of his presence actually hit me incredibly hard. He'd laugh at my broody attitude and tell me that I was his friend, call me at the end of the day and tell me stories, drop everything to talk to me instead of our other guy friends, and would hear me out and understand things I told him about my personal life. I understand I can choke people out so I was sure to give him space, but he'd always come and want to talk to me. I'd been careful not to get too attached, but he recently began distancing himself from and and it's hit me so hard. One moment he was talking to me as normal and the next there was an awkwardness and hostility that took me by surprise. I'm generally straightforward and I asked him what I did and he brushed it off. After that, he began ghosting me, not talking to me anymore and rejecting offers to call (which he NEVER passes up). I'm not stupid and I asked him again the next day what was wrong, but he brushed it off again with a classic "??? nothing's wrong maddy", making me feel dumb for asking. There was a total difference in his behavior and I knew something was wrong. He was forcing himself to talk to me at this point, would talk to our friends in the group chat and leave me on read and reply hours later with the excuse that he was busy. I asked him one last time what was wrong and got the same detached response. It's a few days later and honestly his lack of presence is tearing me apart for absolutely NO reason. I've never felt as strongly for someone as I did him, and it's not easy for me to say shit like that. I don't know if something is actually wrong or if I was just being used like a 14-day free trial, but it's just been making me so incredibly sad and I can't let go. What do I do?
You've done what you can. The only thing left to do is stop contacting him, and see if the silence brings him back. Don't even write a good-bye message. Just go quiet without blocking him and see what happens.
It hurts, I know. There are a lot of reasons he could be doing what he's doing, but without any clues, there's no way to know for sure.
I don't usually give in to venting or sadness, but lately I have just been so insanely miserable that I can barely stand it. Just recently I… more made a new friend online and he straight up ghosted me two weeks later. I'm used to being ghosted because it's practically a daily occurrence for me (I'm very lowkey and people just tend to gravitate away from me). I thought I was mentally prepared for it but the sudden lack of his presence actually hit me incredibly hard. He'd laugh at my broody attitude and tell me that I was his friend, call me at the end of the day and tell me stories, drop everything to talk to me instead of our other guy friends, and would hear me out and understand things I told him about my personal life. I understand I can choke people out so I was sure to give him space, but he'd always come and want to talk to me. I'd been careful not to get too attached, but he recently began distancing himself from and and it's hit me so har… [view original content]
Something similar happened to me last year. I met a guy and a girl on a game, befriended them and we eventually began talking on social media. I have struggled making proper friends in real life due to social anxiety and being a generally awkward person, so for the first time in ages I felt like I had genuine friends. One time when we were talking I made a joke about how the majority of the girl's selfies on social media had Snapchat filters on them. I had intended for this joke to not be mean-spirited in any way whatsoever but she took it this way and deleted me off her friends list on the game. When I tried to apologize she just insulted me. The guy tried to remain neutral, but did a poor job of it and I could he feel he was actually siding with her. Eventually we made up, but she never apologized for insulting me. Sometime later she got angry at how me and the guy were doing stuff on the game without her and she flipped out again. It ended up with her insulting me again. I wanted for her to apologize this time, with the reason why I didn't just cut off contact being that I genuinely enjoyed talking to her and the guy. Afterwards she had gone on a vacation/holiday however, and not wanting to possibly upset her during her trip if things went wrong I decided to wait until she returned before talking to her. I texted hello when she returned and she texted hello back, showing she no longer cared about the previous argument. I asked her if she had enjoyed her trip to which she ignored me. After getting annoyed I then typed "okay then", to which she responded "???", as if she didn't know what I was talking about. I then proceeded to ask her if she actually liked me, which she replied with "I do". I then asked her why she kept insulting and ignoring me to which she just simply ignored. I then typed "and now you're ignoring me again" which she also ignored.
After that I stopped attempting to contact her. I still talked to the guy sometimes but I felt like he was only talking to me out of pity and whenever I brought the girl up, he also ignored me. I decided to stop talking to him as well after that. Losing the two people who I had considered to be my only genuine friends sent me into a state of depression for the next few months, where I constantly felt worthless and hated. I ended up talking to the girl again after I stumbled into her in the game we met in. She then acted all nice to me, but never apologized and pretended that she never insulted me or ignored me for several months. I still talk to her to this day, although I'm not sure why. Perhaps I'm desperate or just an idiot.
I would also advise not contacting him anymore, because when I tried to contact the girl, only to be ignored again, I just felt even worse.
I don't usually give in to venting or sadness, but lately I have just been so insanely miserable that I can barely stand it. Just recently I… more made a new friend online and he straight up ghosted me two weeks later. I'm used to being ghosted because it's practically a daily occurrence for me (I'm very lowkey and people just tend to gravitate away from me). I thought I was mentally prepared for it but the sudden lack of his presence actually hit me incredibly hard. He'd laugh at my broody attitude and tell me that I was his friend, call me at the end of the day and tell me stories, drop everything to talk to me instead of our other guy friends, and would hear me out and understand things I told him about my personal life. I understand I can choke people out so I was sure to give him space, but he'd always come and want to talk to me. I'd been careful not to get too attached, but he recently began distancing himself from and and it's hit me so har… [view original content]
Figure out the pros and cons of each option and, like what Acheive said, think about what you want to do. But I noticed you said that you don't know what you really want. From my experience and (limited) understanding, that feeling is usually caused by self-doubt and lack of self-confidence, but most importantly pressure. Are you being pressured by others to do something you might not want to do? Have you been able to make your own decisions before?
See if it's possible to visit the college beforehand to have a little tour and meet with the professors/lecturers/whatever IDK to ask them questions about what you can expect from going in-person and see if that's what you'd like to do or not.
And you don't sound like an ungrateful brat to me. If you were complaining about how your new rare limited-edition iPhone 8000 blahblah was a different shade of color to the photo on the package, and now it completely clashes with the diamond studded case you bought it, then yeah, I'd think you're kinda a brat, but that is not the case.
Okay, so I've never talked about any of my own issues going on in my life on here before. I've seen that other people here have much bigger … moreproblems, so I wasn't sure I wanted to say anything because I didn't want to sound like I was being an ungrateful brat or something like that, ( because I am grateful for what I have), but here I go. I will be starting college in the near future so my parents have been talking to me a lot about it and stuff. Now before I go on let me just say that I am homeschooled, and I like it and I completely understand why my parents chose to homeschool me and my siblings. But now that we're talking about college their saying that they want me to do it online. Now, let me also say that my parents are really overprotective, and I can understand why in the world we live in today, but I always thought I would take some classes at this college that is nearby and still live at home, ( it's not that I'm wanting to go out … [view original content]
I went to public schools when younger, and I attended a university out of state from where I lived previously, so my viewpoint is based on t… morehat. What I can tell you is that college is more than just an advanced high school. It's an experience where you learn how to live, and you can screw up a few times without messing up your career in the process. When you get out into the real world, knowing how to interact with others is just as important as the topics you studied, maybe even more important. You would miss out on a lot of that if you did everything online. Your parents will have to let you go eventually, and now may be better than later.
I went to public schools when younger, and I attended a university out of state from where I lived previously, so my viewpoint is based on t… morehat. What I can tell you is that college is more than just an advanced high school. It's an experience where you learn how to live, and you can screw up a few times without messing up your career in the process. When you get out into the real world, knowing how to interact with others is just as important as the topics you studied, maybe even more important. You would miss out on a lot of that if you did everything online. Your parents will have to let you go eventually, and now may be better than later.
(Partly a response to Psychokinesis) The "Real World" is uninhabitable. Anyone who tries to enter it is pushed back out into an even lower state of their world.
No one can handle it, and so we all create our own world with our own bullshit rules and logics to survive the harsh world no one can see right infront of their own eyes.
Can't handle the fact that if you trip over a bloody stone and die then thats it, you're dead? Just convince yourself that there's another fucking world you go to where everything is bloody perfect!
Your child die? Well, that was God's plan and it will lead me somewhere great in the future! And don't worry, you'll get to see them again when you move on too!
Don't know how to be around people, don't like who you are? Who you've become? Just be someone else! Talk about useless bullshit that no one gives a crap about and wear a big, thick mask of self-confidence and coolness so no one can see the shattered fucking mess you really are. It works!
Why is it that all the good people are used, abused and murdered while the evil roam free? Oh, right, you're sending the good people to heaven, where they belong, taking them away from the filth you created.
I'm sorry if this offends anyone, but I'm so fucking sick of this world. If there is a God, I want to have a long fucking talk to him. About the millions of innocent lives lost in wars fought in your name? The hundreds of deaths everyday? Or what about why he even created mankind in the first place? So they can abuse, manipulate and kill eachother? Nice piece of art you created.
If there's gonna be an Apocalypse, let it be now. I think its time all those cruel, sick humans burn in eternal hell, me included.
Thank you, I think your right making a pro's and con's list could help me to figure it out. But I don't think I've ever really made my own major decisions by myself. I value my parents options, but when it comes to this I'm not sure if what they want me to do is what they think is really best for me, or if their worrying so much about me that their over looking what the best option is for me. I sometimes feel like they still see me as a small child, and I guess that's where my problem comes in. But what you said has really help me think. Btw, I would like to say thanks again to you Psychokinesis, WarpSpeed, and Acheive250, You are all so kind. If only there was more people like you guys out there in the world.
Figure out the pros and cons of each option and, like what Acheive said, think about what you want to do. But I noticed you said that you do… moren't know what you really want. From my experience and (limited) understanding, that feeling is usually caused by self-doubt and lack of self-confidence, but most importantly pressure. Are you being pressured by others to do something you might not want to do? Have you been able to make your own decisions before?
See if it's possible to visit the college beforehand to have a little tour and meet with the professors/lecturers/whatever IDK to ask them questions about what you can expect from going in-person and see if that's what you'd like to do or not.
And you don't sound like an ungrateful brat to me. If you were complaining about how your new rare limited-edition iPhone 8000 blahblah was a different shade of color to the photo on the package, and now it completely clashes with the diamond studded c… [view original content]
God created mankind, but he also gave them freewill. He didn't want mindless slaves, he wanted people to figure things out for themselves. God has ultimate power, but he gave us power too. Some people take it for granted and (ab)use that power to destroy others, unfortunately. I imagine that watching all the humans torturing and killing each other would be as painful to God as watching your own children commit suicide. At the end of the day, if someone really, truly wants to do something, they'll do it. In my opinion, it's a little fraudulent to give someone freewill but prevent them from doing things you don't want.
Also, God created the most beautiful art in the world: nature. Have a look at an animal that you love, they are a part of this world too. Humans like to steal the show and make everything all about humans, but they are far from the only living beings in this world.
That's just my perception on it, but yeah... you don't have to listen to it.
(Partly a response to Psychokinesis) The "Real World" is uninhabitable. Anyone who tries to enter it is pushed back out into an even lower s… moretate of their world.
No one can handle it, and so we all create our own world with our own bullshit rules and logics to survive the harsh world no one can see right infront of their own eyes.
Can't handle the fact that if you trip over a bloody stone and die then thats it, you're dead? Just convince yourself that there's another fucking world you go to where everything is bloody perfect!
Your child die? Well, that was God's plan and it will lead me somewhere great in the future! And don't worry, you'll get to see them again when you move on too!
Don't know how to be around people, don't like who you are? Who you've become? Just be someone else! Talk about useless bullshit that no one gives a crap about and wear a big, thick mask of self-confidence and coolness so no one can see the shattered f… [view original content]
Woah, that's deep.
God created mankind, but he also gave them freewill. He didn't want mindless slaves, he wanted people to figure things… more out for themselves. God has ultimate power, but he gave us power too. Some people take it for granted and (ab)use that power to destroy others, unfortunately. I imagine that watching all the humans torturing and killing each other would be as painful to God as watching your own children commit suicide. At the end of the day, if someone really, truly wants to do something, they'll do it. In my opinion, it's a little fraudulent to give someone freewill but prevent them from doing things you don't want.
Also, God created the most beautiful art in the world: nature. Have a look at an animal that you love, they are a part of this world too. Humans like to steal the show and make everything all about humans, but they are far from the only living beings in this world.
That's just my perception on it, but yeah... you don't have to listen to it.
But... We can always try to make a difference. It's better than throwing ourselves into the void, right? To try our best to be how we want the world to be.
YOU REALLY THINK THAT YOU CAN BE THAT? YOU'RE SUCH A HYPOCRITE. WHY HAVEN'T YOU DONE THIS BEFORE WHILE YOU HAD ALL THE OPPORTUNITY TO DO IT?
... Better late than never?
YOU DISGUST ME. YOU'RE NOT EVEN CONFIDENT ENOUGH TO SAY THAT FULL-HEARTEDLY. THOSE OTHER PEOPLE MAY NOT KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON FULLY, BUT AT LEAST THEY HAVE A SPINE FOR WHAT THEY BELIEVE IN. PATHETIC
Well then, what now? Cause clearly, there is no point to what I do.
NO POINT? YOU GOT TO BE JOKING.
I'm NOT! Cause once we leave, everything we did here is rendered useless.
IF YOU BELIEVE THAT THIS IS ALL FAKE, THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM. IF YOU'RE GOING TO KEEP BELIEVING THIS, DO US A FAVOR, AND LEAVE EVERYONE ELSE OUT OF IT. YOU'RE NOT AS "OPEN-MINDED" AS YOU SAY YOU ARE.
(Religious Vent, if that's a touchy subject for you I might advise you to skip this post))
I've cursed God numerous times in my life, for many of the reasons @Acheive250 stated. Recently I've come to the point where if God decided to send me to hell I'm not sure if I'd blame him. I might disagree with his design choices but in the end do I really have any right to scoff at his creation? Some will probably say I do but I'm not sure if that's right.
I often feel as though I'm in a sort of existential limbo. Desperate for closure to existential questions that is seemingly unobtainable in this lifetime. I'm constantly fretting over who I can turn to for guidance since A. most of the conclusions I've come to are seemingly in fundamental contradiction to most of the beliefs held by the people I know and B. even if they could understand I don't believe that they would be able to provide much in the way of insight. The friends I've discussed this with don't seem to know how to help with the situation so the issue gets swept under the rug and tensions ran unfortunately high with my parents when I try to bring it up. I just wish it was easier to articulate what exactly these existential crises I go through are in a way that I can get people to comprehend; they often sound like rambling nonsense when I try to put them into words. Please don't ask me to try though. It's just become a very sore subject for me lately and I'm worried I might escalate things if I try to go too deep into it.
Anyways, I just hope that all of you are content with and confident in your faith and purpose, no matter what it is. Take care.
I believe your right. We are given freewill, but it comes with a price. I know a lot of people who say “if there really is a God then why dose he allow such terrible to happen”. The simplest answer I can give to people who ask that is that if God stoped everything wrong we would not be freewill people, we would do everything just the same as everyone else.
Woah, that's deep.
God created mankind, but he also gave them freewill. He didn't want mindless slaves, he wanted people to figure things… more out for themselves. God has ultimate power, but he gave us power too. Some people take it for granted and (ab)use that power to destroy others, unfortunately. I imagine that watching all the humans torturing and killing each other would be as painful to God as watching your own children commit suicide. At the end of the day, if someone really, truly wants to do something, they'll do it. In my opinion, it's a little fraudulent to give someone freewill but prevent them from doing things you don't want.
Also, God created the most beautiful art in the world: nature. Have a look at an animal that you love, they are a part of this world too. Humans like to steal the show and make everything all about humans, but they are far from the only living beings in this world.
That's just my perception on it, but yeah... you don't have to listen to it.
Free will seems to be often vastly overestimated. Yes we are always being given choices but we aren't immune to the impact the environment has on our decision making. We will forever be influenced and affected by social norms, the values instilled from our upbringing, bodily needs, and many more variables. Yes we still are technically responsible for our actions but that doesn't mean we are mentally capable of making every single choice that comes our way at any given time.
Alright, just wanted to get that out there. Have a good one.
I believe your right. We are given freewill, but it comes with a price. I know a lot of people who say “if there really is a God then why do… morese he allow such terrible to happen”. The simplest answer I can give to people who ask that is that if God stoped everything wrong we would not be freewill people, we would do everything just the same as everyone else.
Honestly, I'm just letting my subconscious to run autopilot. I don't think I should live, but I don't think I should die either. And it's hit this neutral ground where I would let happen what comes easiest, what we do without really thinking about it. And to whatever it means, I haven't trained myself to commit suicide without thinking about what I'm doing, and I'm pretty sure you haven't either. And if it were easy to shut down my thoughts and do it, it would've happened a long time ago.
I don't know what is important anymore, but I hope you find the strength to do what you think is best.
Hey there, even though I don't know the full extent of what is troubling you I wish you as much peace of mind as you can get in your future. If you ever feel like going into detail as to what's making you feel this way then I know I and several others would do our best to give you support, though it's absolutely understandable should you be uncomfortable with doing so.
...My school's been on strike for the past week and a half. No resolution yet, but there might be one soon if the recent emails are to go by.
I've tried my best to keep up with any school work/readings given out online, but I'm not too pleased with it. Many of the teachers aren't even allowed to post the work we'd be doing by this stage, so it's been silent work-wise for their class. It's a really odd lull in the semester and it makes me worried for what happens when it begins again.
The thing that’s the worst about this, is that it kills any and all motivation I have to do much.
All it is, is taking advantage of my tendency to procrastinate. I’ve got other work to do than the one for school, so being held back by an urge to relax and take it slow isn’t good. I’ve already relaxed, I don’t need any more. It’s time to get to work, brain!
Sorry, it’s just some dumb feeling of unfinished work I’ve got. I just have to really push myself in the future to get on top before it’s too late. Long story short, this has been quite the learning experience for me, and something I’ll regret for a while.
Comments
Is it safe to walk around your neighborhood? If so, give that a try. Of course, you'll still be with yourself, and still trying to put yourself down, so to avoid that, try to observe as much as you can while you walk. Look at all the details of the buildings, yards, vehicles, and anyone else you also happen to see walking around. The exercise and different ways of thinking will be good for you.
You don't have to answer questions like "Do you have any friends?" with Yes/No. You can answer, "There's some guys I hang out with a lot at school." If they follow up with, "Do you see anyone outside of school?", you can reply, "Not much, my transportation options are limited." There are truthful ways to answer without going into how badly you think of yourself.
You have nearly the same problem as me except that I never leave the house cos I always find fuck all to do
It sounds like things are really stressful for you. I don't think you're crazy.
Did you always use to feel this way? Like AChicken pointed out, you said "recently", implying that this is something new. Have you always hated being with yourself?
Sometimes you have to step outside of your situation to be able to see what's really going on. When you're inside a fog, you can't see where you're going.
Yeah, that doesn't really work for me either. Focusing only on positive things and ignoring the negative... I don't know, it just doesn't feel right to me. I definitely agree that a lot of people nowadays focus way too much on negative things which makes us overlook the positive, but I don't believe either ends of the spectrum should be ignored.
Negative feelings and emotions can be useful, they can alert you to danger for example, but if you dwell on them, you can become consumed and blinded by them. Likewise, positive feelings and emotions make us feel good, and give us a reason to live for. I guess it's all about finding the balance.
Positive signs according to who? You feel negative about it, but it appears positive? With the limited information that I know, it sounds a bit like cognitive dissonace to me.
I feel a bit like that too sometimes. Is it because you are trying to be manipulative and deceitful, or simply because you don't feel safe to be yourself? There's a big difference between the two.
I hope you are able to find peace within yourself. That is something that Prince Zuko struggled with too.
I hope that what I've said is somewhat helpful and actually makes sense. I've been kinda 'out of it' the past week or so. Probably all the drugs. Hardcore drugs. (Not really. Just a sick, twisted joke that isn't so funny considering it's a very real issue.)
I think this is my first time posting in this thread so "Woooo!" I think.
I feel like this is going to make seem like such a sensitive bitch but I am getting real fucking sick of some of the people on this forum. I'm not thick skinned. I can't just brush this shit off easily. I don't know if these people are just forgetting that behind our avatars are actual people reacting to the shit they say.
This isn't something that just happened either, this is something that's been happening over the course of several years on this forum. It's not even me being mad over a difference of opinion, this is me getting mad over people who will go out of their fucking way to tell you why the thing you like is fucking dog shit and you should feel shit for liking it.
I say I'm sad a show I like is getting cancelled and I get someone telling me "Good that show was shit anyway I hope the main character dies." I say I like comic books and I get called a "loser virgin with no life" (the guy who said this was a toxic piece of shit btw who didn't get banned but is no longer active as far as I know). I say I liked a game and I'm called a sellout sheep who doesn't understand what quality is. I say I liked Last Jedi? I get a fucking ten paragraph explanation on why The Last Jedi actually sucks. TWICE.
This isn't even all of them. These aren't people who replied to me saying "Eh, I don't really like that thing and here are my problems with it". Nah man, these are people saying "FUCK THE THING YOU LIKE!"
Like, goddamn people. Why can't I just like the shit I like?!
And of course the latest would be me being sad that a show I liked has ended and of course someone went out of their way to tell me they hated it in a very nonsensical manner without even providing proper criticism but instead included the Chinese viewership of the franchise for whatever reason.
I guess expecting people to act like they have at least an ounce of respect for the people around them (virtual or not) was too high of an expectation. I don't know.
I patiently await for someone on here to tell me how wrong I am again.
It's the invulnerability people feel that comes with the anonymity of the internet. When the risk of being punched in the face or having to view the anguish others feel from harsh words is taken away some people choose to be brash and mean-spirited with little repercussions. In this way the internet can almost reveal a man's true colors when expressing their opinion has virtually no real world consequences. It sucks but this kind of toxicity is always going to persist on the internet
Holy shit... Glad that guy is gone.
In response to your comment, yeah it sucks. But, that's just the internet's ugliest parts. People can push something to a huge extreme without any IRL repercussions, only the digital ones.
It's really hard to swallow, and maybe you want to talk back, but it's best not to. If I'm ever shut down because of an opinion, or if I'm harassed online (most likely in some online game), I try to ignore it, and take all criticisms with a grain of salt. They're missing out on some good stuff I enjoy by wasting their time melting it to the ground and more. If I'm ever insulted either, I try to laugh it off. They don't know me, it's all empty threats and lies to my side.
Maybe not the best advice, since there's no real way to get away from people who frequent here, but ...It's just best to ignore it as much as possible.
To cheer you up i guess (Here, have a gif which I have no context for but the quote is pretty appropriate for your situation.)
I know how you feel dude, it just sucks really hard when you say one thing and every fedora tipping dickhead on the internet just has to prove you wrong. It really takes a toll on your self esteem and diminishes your love for something or even discussing it. Honestly if you should do anything it's just ignore them, especially when it's from a certain other person in the megathread who has some strong opinions on Rebels if you catch my drift. Just do you, man. Shit sucks a lot i know but these people are either kind about their criticism or losers with nothing better to do than yell. Your thoughts are worth so much more than the latter of those two. If you ever need to talk about this shit when it's getting too much, my DMs are always open
Also just for the record The Last Jedi was rad and i loved it too so i totally get how you feel there
Thanks man
It's just frustrating that it's happened so many times that I had to rant about it for a bit. Especially considering how nonsensical the most recent one was.
Also, eeyyy another fan
You’ll know pure terror when somebody disagrees with me XD I hate unleashing my fury but I just can’t help. Sometimes I can tolerate a different opinion, but when they shit on my opinion to a certain extent or when they are ALWAYS expressing their hate in a non-constructive way, then there’s always problems.
I loved both rebels and the last Jedi, and when I see tweets, YouTube videos, comments and all that explaining in full detail why it sucked, then I get angry because it is never even constructive, they don’t give helpful advice, they just complain and that goes and puts me in a bad mood. And like you said, don’t even get me started on when they complain directly to the person who did like whatever and is expressing positivity, which is always ok because positivity is good, negativity is bad.
Sorry, I was planning to finish this yesterday @Psychokinesis , but I got roped into playing some games with a family member, and then had to work right after.
Maybe you're right. Cause there have been plenty of moments that have played out like this;
Hey, that person could use some help ... ... someone may be able to word this better... Nevermind. Someone will come along and do this better.
More confidence could reduce the amount of times this happens.
This is what lead me to become more distant from people. Made me not want to ask for help from people because it made me think that no one wanted to hear it. And I'm STILL thinking of it that way, even though the proof of the exact opposite is right here. And I didn't have to ask for it, it was just given when I started venting my thoughts. And I thank you, and everyone here for that.
If I let go of this, and start denying in my mind that the way he made me feel isn't the same for everyone, things could change.
I was thinking that if I did try gaining more confidence by letting go of this, it would change me as a person. At the same time, I could be wrong. It's the first time I've become this self aware. My own assumptions can be misleading...
Well, after the whole sister scandal. He seemed like he was sorry for what he did and had changed. But, a few months later he started saying that it was her fault that he was put in jail. Like...What? There was no way she would've had control over that situation. She was only 11. And I heard you were giving her drinks, too? JESUS, man.
I never brought that up with him. I'm worried about how it would turn out... And I really don't have much of a backbone when It comes to verbal argument. It's hard enough to talk as it is.
Yes. And it made me remember what he said to me Christmas Day of 2016. The day before, I was so depressed that I tried to kill myself after my family members went to bed. It didn't work, but I chugged an entire liter of mouthwash and I passed out. I woke up in the hospital and he started to show how much he cared. Saying that he would help me to find a purpose if I needed it, by helping me enroll in the military. And when he was bringing me back home, be started on a rant about how he had dealt with depression through his life and told me about the number of times he tried to kill himself, but none of them worked. Saying that it's a message in itself. "If I didn't have a purpose, why am I not already dead?" And when we got to the house, we stayed in the truck and chatted for a half hour after that. He said to me that If I had died, he would've killed himself, too.
So, none of this is happening anymore. And looking back at it, it wasn't just my dad. My mom was also going through some tough times. She started to stay in her room all the time and wasn't really around anymore. She was in a dark state of mind and It kept her trapped in that room. When she did come out she didn't want to talk much and was easily angered. I had no idea what that meant at the time and thought it was just "normal". And the kids weren't all that friendly. They would want to be your friend one moment and want to pick a fight with you the next. And having that looming over your head doesn't do very good for your confidence. This wasn't anyone's fault. Just one big misunderstanding between one another. None of us knew what that was doing to me until 10 years after it all happened.
From your other post:
Writing this out would be a good idea. It's time for them to know about this. Some of my folks went down to florida for a vacation and won't be back for another week or so. That'll be enough time to put this together.
And thanks for the article. From what I posted above, plenty of these were there, but not from just one person. There's a lot to forgive and forget, but forgiveness isn't the hard part...
So, I've went through a rough time. I've spent the first month or two in denial and almost literally living here while not at work. There was an unhealthy period of time where I was, honestly, reading EVERY post on this forum. Mods could attest to this. Life, then, came crashing down and hard. At first, I was ignoring all my problems and just kept trucking on, pushing myself forward, like a "good" stereotypical German male. Eventually, problems caught up with me, as everything I let go, started to weigh and hurt me.
I have a long, sad, history of depression and other mental illnesses. I've spent ten years of my life(past, not current) in therapy and being legally drugged to the gills. I know my issues and how to productively deal with them. I did not post in the vent/help thread simple because I know my issues and how I'm supposed to deal with them. I was simply avoiding them and hoping I could move on to what I envision as a normal life. I do urge others to share their pain and issues and pursue professional help if needed. There is nothing wrong with that. Chances are, if you're here regularly, you have some issue weighing on you. There is nothing wrong with that.
When I was a kid(we're talking around the early 90's), it was taboo to have a mental health issue. When I was a teen, it was 1/10. When I became an adult(around 2000), it was 1/5. What is it now? 1/2? All I'm trying to say is that I encourage people to seek help. It doesn't necessarily mean to call up a psychiatrist. Most people just need to recognise their problems and find a way to keep going.
I have a fist-full of issues, yet, I'm a manager at a major company, making a livable income, with a handful of close, good, friends. While I do not feel lucky or privileged, In hindsight, I am. I am lucky and fortunate. This is all I'm going to say on the matter. I really dislike talking about the subject and seeming "weak", but, I hope that this helps somebody. You're also not "weak" for needed someone.
You don't have to apologize, this is your post, take as long as you wish. (I take a while to write posts myself...!!)
I understand that feeling. Like, right now.
I wonder if what I'm saying is really any good.
Everyone has a story. And every story is worth hearing. Not everyone is going to want to hear it though, you just have to find someone that will listen. I understand that sometimes it can be hard to believe that you're worth being listened to, especially if you've been treated that way by others.
What your father did to your sister is really awful. That's not an easy thing to deal with. Even though he didn't do it to you, it can still effect the whole family. You're right, she was not the one in control. How could she possibly be responsible? He was the adult in the situation. He should have known better. What he is doing is called 'victim blaming'. It's very common for perpetrators to try and shift the responsibility away from them.
Letting go doesn't mean that everyone acts like nothing happened. It means you accept what happened, feel the pain and anger and any other emotions that you may feel from it, and then let it go. When you've dealt with the emotions, you don't need to hold onto them anymore. Having said that, it's not easy. Emotions can be extremely strong and overwhelming and it can be hard to know how to deal with them. It might be worth trying to find a professional to help you work through this, like a therapist, psychologist, psychiatrist etc. It might take a while to find the right person that you feel totally comfortable with, but don't give up until you do. Remember though that they're still humans too, and no one else can truly know you any better than you. Don't let anyone else tell you how you should think or feel, no matter what their authority is in society. Always keep this in mind.
You should probably confront your father about what had happened only if you feel ready to. Also, consider if bringing it up with him would make you fear for your safety. It seems like communication via writing is your strong point. He's an authority figure to you, which can make it more intimidating, so it'd probably be best to confront him in your element, in a space you feel comfortable with. e.g. by email, letters, chat messaging etc.
...Enrolling you into the military? Is that what you wanted to do?
Wow, how did that make you feel?
So both of your parents were emotionally unavailable? It makes sense that you have the issues that you have now, and it's amazing that you've been strong enough to survive all of this.
I know that it's a really rocky road coming to terms with the trauma that one's faced as a child. But I do believe there is a light at the end of the long, dark tunnel... even if sometimes it's hard to see.
I wish you strength and courage.
By the way, if I say anything that doesn't feel right to you, I just want to say that you don't have to listen to me or act on what I say. Do what you feel is right for you. And above all, be kind on yourself.
What you're saying does help. And if it weren't, It's still thought provoking.
Yah. Writing may be a good way to say what I want to say. But yet, there would just be something missing If I indirectly talked to him about this... My older sister was planning to bring me with her to go see him this week. She doesn't know about anything I've been saying here, but she is also agitated by this and hasn't really confronted him on it. ._. She could... Fuck. Maybe- this just needs to happen. Like you said, I just need to start and the rest will follow, and she will be there too, to back me up on my concerns. But, I would hate to put her on the spot like that...
Edit: It's tomorrow morning... Uuuhhhh Maybe not yet. Let's just have a peaceful breakfast.
That would be good. I used to have councillors I would talk with, but I wouldn't really go into much detail about what I'm thinking. Often lied to them about having depressive thoughts because I was too nervous to talk about it. And they couldn't make me talk about it because that's not their job. But now, I know all of this, they can have something to go off of besides, "How's work been going?". That's not psychiatrics. That's just me talking about my day.
Well, I want to do other types of jobs first before I would want to go for that, but it would be interesting to see what that's like. Not really the fighting part, but everything else. My friend is looking to go and work as a technician.
It definitely showed that he cared.
There's a lot of conflicting thoughts with this, too. If I were to go, I would be responsible for his death too? And, If he began to think that I saw him as an enemy (which I don't), what would he do then? Knowing this, it might complicate things if I go to confront him...
Thank you. I'm going to need it if I do this. My subconscious keeps telling me this is a bad idea. "No. You must keep the peace. What if he gets angry with you and doesn't want to talk anymore? Is this really worth losing him over?" But as before, nothing changed when I listened. We're so distant from him because we don't talk about it. If it goes the way I hope it would, maybe this could change. But, it can also backfire if we let our emotions get the better of us.
Your opinion is very much appreciated! I try to keep an open mind to what you're saying, along with everyone else, so I won't be stuck with just my outlook on things. I tend to go mad when I listen to myself too much...
Do you have more than one sister?
The sister that's going to take you to see your father, maybe you should talk her about it and see what her thoughts are too? Do you think that it would distress her?
Yah, those things happened to my little sister.
I wouldn't think that it would be too much of a problem for her to talk about it, but her knowing about it would help to set a more appropriate moment to discuss this with him.
Since this won't be happening this time, I can bring this up with her after our visit.
Okay, so I've never talked about any of my own issues going on in my life on here before. I've seen that other people here have much bigger problems, so I wasn't sure I wanted to say anything because I didn't want to sound like I was being an ungrateful brat or something like that, ( because I am grateful for what I have), but here I go. I will be starting college in the near future so my parents have been talking to me a lot about it and stuff. Now before I go on let me just say that I am homeschooled, and I like it and I completely understand why my parents chose to homeschool me and my siblings. But now that we're talking about college their saying that they want me to do it online. Now, let me also say that my parents are really overprotective, and I can understand why in the world we live in today, but I always thought I would take some classes at this college that is nearby and still live at home, ( it's not that I'm wanting to go out of town or anything). But now I'm at the point that I don't know what I really want, and I'm seriously stressed out about the whole thing. Just the other day I was thinking “ well, if I take it all online I will probably focus on studying more”, but then I think “ but that takes away the whole experience of meeting new people and stuff like that”. I'm just so frustrated and don't really know what the right move is, and now that I'm looking at what I wrote in wondering why I'm even writing this.
In my experience, studying on campus is always better. Especially because you get to meet new like-minded people.
I guess you just really need to think about what you want. There comes a time where every kid leaves their parents, maybe studying away from home will help prepare them for that? To help them realise that you can take care of yourself.
If thats what you really want, do it. You can't waste time doing what everyone else wants you to do, you need to do what you want to do.
Thank you for responding. I do a lot of the times do what my parents want me to do, and I guess sometimes that can be a good thing and sometimes not. I have not decided what I'm doing yet, but you have helped me to look at it a little different, thank you.
I went to public schools when younger, and I attended a university out of state from where I lived previously, so my viewpoint is based on that. What I can tell you is that college is more than just an advanced high school. It's an experience where you learn how to live, and you can screw up a few times without messing up your career in the process. When you get out into the real world, knowing how to interact with others is just as important as the topics you studied, maybe even more important. You would miss out on a lot of that if you did everything online. Your parents will have to let you go eventually, and now may be better than later.
I don't usually give in to venting or sadness, but lately I have just been so insanely miserable that I can barely stand it. Just recently I made a new friend online and he straight up ghosted me two weeks later. I'm used to being ghosted because it's practically a daily occurrence for me (I'm very lowkey and people just tend to gravitate away from me). I thought I was mentally prepared for it but the sudden lack of his presence actually hit me incredibly hard. He'd laugh at my broody attitude and tell me that I was his friend, call me at the end of the day and tell me stories, drop everything to talk to me instead of our other guy friends, and would hear me out and understand things I told him about my personal life. I understand I can choke people out so I was sure to give him space, but he'd always come and want to talk to me. I'd been careful not to get too attached, but he recently began distancing himself from and and it's hit me so hard. One moment he was talking to me as normal and the next there was an awkwardness and hostility that took me by surprise. I'm generally straightforward and I asked him what I did and he brushed it off. After that, he began ghosting me, not talking to me anymore and rejecting offers to call (which he NEVER passes up). I'm not stupid and I asked him again the next day what was wrong, but he brushed it off again with a classic "??? nothing's wrong maddy", making me feel dumb for asking. There was a total difference in his behavior and I knew something was wrong. He was forcing himself to talk to me at this point, would talk to our friends in the group chat and leave me on read and reply hours later with the excuse that he was busy. I asked him one last time what was wrong and got the same detached response. It's a few days later and honestly his lack of presence is tearing me apart for absolutely NO reason. I've never felt as strongly for someone as I did him, and it's not easy for me to say shit like that. I don't know if something is actually wrong or if I was just being used like a 14-day free trial, but it's just been making me so incredibly sad and I can't let go. What do I do?
You've done what you can. The only thing left to do is stop contacting him, and see if the silence brings him back. Don't even write a good-bye message. Just go quiet without blocking him and see what happens.
It hurts, I know. There are a lot of reasons he could be doing what he's doing, but without any clues, there's no way to know for sure.
Something similar happened to me last year. I met a guy and a girl on a game, befriended them and we eventually began talking on social media. I have struggled making proper friends in real life due to social anxiety and being a generally awkward person, so for the first time in ages I felt like I had genuine friends. One time when we were talking I made a joke about how the majority of the girl's selfies on social media had Snapchat filters on them. I had intended for this joke to not be mean-spirited in any way whatsoever but she took it this way and deleted me off her friends list on the game. When I tried to apologize she just insulted me. The guy tried to remain neutral, but did a poor job of it and I could he feel he was actually siding with her. Eventually we made up, but she never apologized for insulting me. Sometime later she got angry at how me and the guy were doing stuff on the game without her and she flipped out again. It ended up with her insulting me again. I wanted for her to apologize this time, with the reason why I didn't just cut off contact being that I genuinely enjoyed talking to her and the guy. Afterwards she had gone on a vacation/holiday however, and not wanting to possibly upset her during her trip if things went wrong I decided to wait until she returned before talking to her. I texted hello when she returned and she texted hello back, showing she no longer cared about the previous argument. I asked her if she had enjoyed her trip to which she ignored me. After getting annoyed I then typed "okay then", to which she responded "???", as if she didn't know what I was talking about. I then proceeded to ask her if she actually liked me, which she replied with "I do". I then asked her why she kept insulting and ignoring me to which she just simply ignored. I then typed "and now you're ignoring me again" which she also ignored.
After that I stopped attempting to contact her. I still talked to the guy sometimes but I felt like he was only talking to me out of pity and whenever I brought the girl up, he also ignored me. I decided to stop talking to him as well after that. Losing the two people who I had considered to be my only genuine friends sent me into a state of depression for the next few months, where I constantly felt worthless and hated. I ended up talking to the girl again after I stumbled into her in the game we met in. She then acted all nice to me, but never apologized and pretended that she never insulted me or ignored me for several months. I still talk to her to this day, although I'm not sure why. Perhaps I'm desperate or just an idiot.
I would also advise not contacting him anymore, because when I tried to contact the girl, only to be ignored again, I just felt even worse.
Figure out the pros and cons of each option and, like what Acheive said, think about what you want to do. But I noticed you said that you don't know what you really want. From my experience and (limited) understanding, that feeling is usually caused by self-doubt and lack of self-confidence, but most importantly pressure. Are you being pressured by others to do something you might not want to do? Have you been able to make your own decisions before?
See if it's possible to visit the college beforehand to have a little tour and meet with the professors/lecturers/whatever IDK to ask them questions about what you can expect from going in-person and see if that's what you'd like to do or not.
And you don't sound like an ungrateful brat to me. If you were complaining about how your new rare limited-edition iPhone 8000 blahblah was a different shade of color to the photo on the package, and now it completely clashes with the diamond studded case you bought it, then yeah, I'd think you're kinda a brat, but that is not the case.
What is this "real world" that everyone keeps talking about? Can I go there?
Thank you for the advise, that is definitely things I need to think about.
(Partly a response to Psychokinesis) The "Real World" is uninhabitable. Anyone who tries to enter it is pushed back out into an even lower state of their world.
No one can handle it, and so we all create our own world with our own bullshit rules and logics to survive the harsh world no one can see right infront of their own eyes.
Can't handle the fact that if you trip over a bloody stone and die then thats it, you're dead? Just convince yourself that there's another fucking world you go to where everything is bloody perfect!
Your child die? Well, that was God's plan and it will lead me somewhere great in the future! And don't worry, you'll get to see them again when you move on too!
Don't know how to be around people, don't like who you are? Who you've become? Just be someone else! Talk about useless bullshit that no one gives a crap about and wear a big, thick mask of self-confidence and coolness so no one can see the shattered fucking mess you really are. It works!
Why is it that all the good people are used, abused and murdered while the evil roam free? Oh, right, you're sending the good people to heaven, where they belong, taking them away from the filth you created.
I'm sorry if this offends anyone, but I'm so fucking sick of this world. If there is a God, I want to have a long fucking talk to him. About the millions of innocent lives lost in wars fought in your name? The hundreds of deaths everyday? Or what about why he even created mankind in the first place? So they can abuse, manipulate and kill eachother? Nice piece of art you created.
If there's gonna be an Apocalypse, let it be now. I think its time all those cruel, sick humans burn in eternal hell, me included.
FUCK HUMANITY
Thank you, I think your right making a pro's and con's list could help me to figure it out. But I don't think I've ever really made my own major decisions by myself. I value my parents options, but when it comes to this I'm not sure if what they want me to do is what they think is really best for me, or if their worrying so much about me that their over looking what the best option is for me. I sometimes feel like they still see me as a small child, and I guess that's where my problem comes in. But what you said has really help me think. Btw, I would like to say thanks again to you Psychokinesis, WarpSpeed, and Acheive250, You are all so kind. If only there was more people like you guys out there in the world.
Woah, that's deep.
God created mankind, but he also gave them freewill. He didn't want mindless slaves, he wanted people to figure things out for themselves. God has ultimate power, but he gave us power too. Some people take it for granted and (ab)use that power to destroy others, unfortunately. I imagine that watching all the humans torturing and killing each other would be as painful to God as watching your own children commit suicide. At the end of the day, if someone really, truly wants to do something, they'll do it. In my opinion, it's a little fraudulent to give someone freewill but prevent them from doing things you don't want.
Also, God created the most beautiful art in the world: nature. Have a look at an animal that you love, they are a part of this world too. Humans like to steal the show and make everything all about humans, but they are far from the only living beings in this world.
That's just my perception on it, but yeah... you don't have to listen to it.
Its kinda funny actually. The reason I love life is also the thing I hate most in the world; People.
I.. I Shouldn't say anything
Fuck.. We're too self aware for our own good.
As they say, "Ignorance is bliss"
But... We can always try to make a difference. It's better than throwing ourselves into the void, right? To try our best to be how we want the world to be.
YOU REALLY THINK THAT YOU CAN BE THAT? YOU'RE SUCH A HYPOCRITE. WHY HAVEN'T YOU DONE THIS BEFORE WHILE YOU HAD ALL THE OPPORTUNITY TO DO IT?
... Better late than never?
YOU DISGUST ME. YOU'RE NOT EVEN CONFIDENT ENOUGH TO SAY THAT FULL-HEARTEDLY. THOSE OTHER PEOPLE MAY NOT KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON FULLY, BUT AT LEAST THEY HAVE A SPINE FOR WHAT THEY BELIEVE IN. PATHETIC
Well then, what now? Cause clearly, there is no point to what I do.
NO POINT? YOU GOT TO BE JOKING.
I'm NOT! Cause once we leave, everything we did here is rendered useless.
IF YOU BELIEVE THAT THIS IS ALL FAKE, THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM. IF YOU'RE GOING TO KEEP BELIEVING THIS, DO US A FAVOR, AND LEAVE EVERYONE ELSE OUT OF IT. YOU'RE NOT AS "OPEN-MINDED" AS YOU SAY YOU ARE.
[this has been edited down to better reflect the current situation. the previous comment I didn't like, and is now redundant.]
TL;DR
I'm not happy with myself lately.
(Religious Vent, if that's a touchy subject for you I might advise you to skip this post))
I've cursed God numerous times in my life, for many of the reasons @Acheive250 stated. Recently I've come to the point where if God decided to send me to hell I'm not sure if I'd blame him. I might disagree with his design choices but in the end do I really have any right to scoff at his creation? Some will probably say I do but I'm not sure if that's right.
I often feel as though I'm in a sort of existential limbo. Desperate for closure to existential questions that is seemingly unobtainable in this lifetime. I'm constantly fretting over who I can turn to for guidance since A. most of the conclusions I've come to are seemingly in fundamental contradiction to most of the beliefs held by the people I know and B. even if they could understand I don't believe that they would be able to provide much in the way of insight. The friends I've discussed this with don't seem to know how to help with the situation so the issue gets swept under the rug and tensions ran unfortunately high with my parents when I try to bring it up. I just wish it was easier to articulate what exactly these existential crises I go through are in a way that I can get people to comprehend; they often sound like rambling nonsense when I try to put them into words. Please don't ask me to try though. It's just become a very sore subject for me lately and I'm worried I might escalate things if I try to go too deep into it.
Anyways, I just hope that all of you are content with and confident in your faith and purpose, no matter what it is. Take care.
I believe your right. We are given freewill, but it comes with a price. I know a lot of people who say “if there really is a God then why dose he allow such terrible to happen”. The simplest answer I can give to people who ask that is that if God stoped everything wrong we would not be freewill people, we would do everything just the same as everyone else.
Free will seems to be often vastly overestimated. Yes we are always being given choices but we aren't immune to the impact the environment has on our decision making. We will forever be influenced and affected by social norms, the values instilled from our upbringing, bodily needs, and many more variables. Yes we still are technically responsible for our actions but that doesn't mean we are mentally capable of making every single choice that comes our way at any given time.
Alright, just wanted to get that out there. Have a good one.
I absolutely hate my life tbh. At this point I'd rather be dead.
What's the problem? Please don't think like that, it makes everything worse.
I knew I'd be able to use this somewhere.
Not you too!
Honestly, I'm just letting my subconscious to run autopilot. I don't think I should live, but I don't think I should die either. And it's hit this neutral ground where I would let happen what comes easiest, what we do without really thinking about it. And to whatever it means, I haven't trained myself to commit suicide without thinking about what I'm doing, and I'm pretty sure you haven't either. And if it were easy to shut down my thoughts and do it, it would've happened a long time ago.
I don't know what is important anymore, but I hope you find the strength to do what you think is best.
Hey there, even though I don't know the full extent of what is troubling you I wish you as much peace of mind as you can get in your future. If you ever feel like going into detail as to what's making you feel this way then I know I and several others would do our best to give you support, though it's absolutely understandable should you be uncomfortable with doing so.
Still disappointed in myself.
...My school's been on strike for the past week and a half. No resolution yet, but there might be one soon if the recent emails are to go by.
I've tried my best to keep up with any school work/readings given out online, but I'm not too pleased with it. Many of the teachers aren't even allowed to post the work we'd be doing by this stage, so it's been silent work-wise for their class. It's a really odd lull in the semester and it makes me worried for what happens when it begins again.
The thing that’s the worst about this, is that it kills any and all motivation I have to do much.
All it is, is taking advantage of my tendency to procrastinate. I’ve got other work to do than the one for school, so being held back by an urge to relax and take it slow isn’t good. I’ve already relaxed, I don’t need any more. It’s time to get to work, brain!
Sorry, it’s just some dumb feeling of unfinished work I’ve got. I just have to really push myself in the future to get on top before it’s too late. Long story short, this has been quite the learning experience for me, and something I’ll regret for a while.