Early tomorrow morning (about 8am) I'm getting two teeth taken out.
Why? Well, it's for more braces. I've got the top, now we need the bottom locked in.
There's just not enough room for all my teeth, so some have to come out for the rest to look straight.
Right after that surgery, I'm getting those bottom braces put in right away to start shifting things around. It's going to be a crazy morning.
Sure, I'll be under anesthetic or laughing gas or something for the removal (not unconscious, but I don't mind if it'll be painless and easy) and it'll probably last until after the braces get put on too, but I don't think I'll have a fun time afterwards.
...There's also the dreaded antibiotics I'll have to take. 2 pills beforehand, 3 pills per day after, and they're quite large things.
I am not a fan of pills. Small, heavy, sinkable solid things that you need to swallow in water without choking on.
[sigh] ... Sorry for all the complaining about something that's obviously going to help me later on, but it's the commencement of all this complicated stuff and the accompanying uncertainty of my now-changing quality of life that gets to me.
Wish me luck.
P.S.. Oh yeah, I'm also coming down with an annoying cold. Sore throat, cough, slight weakness in the arms/legs. Hope that goes okay and doesn't get worse for tomorrow. The last thing I want is for this to get rescheduled.
Edit: Okay, got it done. Hopefully recovery goes smooth. (I wonder though, why can't we spit, rinse, or suck on straws but somehow eat soft foods and liquids that might cause the same effects? I don't want to interrupt the healing by eating soup that'll go over the wound.)
I've had teeth removed to get a (fixed, not removable)retainer as well as had surgery to extract compacted wisdom teeth. I've also have NUMEROUS dental procedures(severe depression as a child led to a laps in hygiene). The worst part of EVERYTHING was just having a sore jaw due to having my mouth open for so long.
If you suffer from anxiety over the procedures, that's one thing, but I can tell you that all other fears are rather unwarranted(I've also had a filing on a tooth which refused to freeze...in comparison, every other appointment was null).
Hey, if you have trouble with pills, just grind them into water. Capsules can be another issue as some are meant to time lapse. You can ask if you are able to just pour the powder in a drink. I know people whom have actual psychological issues with swallowing pills.
Early tomorrow morning (about 8am) I'm getting two teeth taken out.
Why? Well, it's for more braces. I've got the top, now we need the bott… moreom locked in.
There's just not enough room for all my teeth, so some have to come out for the rest to look straight.
Right after that surgery, I'm getting those bottom braces put in right away to start shifting things around. It's going to be a crazy morning.
Sure, I'll be under anesthetic or laughing gas or something for the removal (not unconscious, but I don't mind if it'll be painless and easy) and it'll probably last until after the braces get put on too, but I don't think I'll have a fun time afterwards.
...There's also the dreaded antibiotics I'll have to take. 2 pills beforehand, 3 pills per day after, and they're quite large things.
I am not a fan of pills. Small, heavy, sinkable solid things that you need to swallow in water without choking on.
[sigh] ... Sorry for all the complaini… [view original content]
I just get general anxiety over 0.0001% potential danger or harmful procedures.
And yeah, my fears were completely unwarranted. It turns out I fell asleep during the procedure so that helped.
And again, sorry if these worries or complaints are unnecessary. I just need to get stuff like this off my chest sometimes, even if they're quite petty and redundant in the long-run. You've got me beat on tooth procedure stories. The only serious things I've had to get was this, and one time where a cavity had to be patched up.
...You see, I'm a Chicken when it comes to danger.
I've had teeth removed to get a (fixed, not removable)retainer as well as had surgery to extract compacted wisdom teeth. I've also have NUM… moreEROUS dental procedures(severe depression as a child led to a laps in hygiene). The worst part of EVERYTHING was just having a sore jaw due to having my mouth open for so long.
If you suffer from anxiety over the procedures, that's one thing, but I can tell you that all other fears are rather unwarranted(I've also had a filing on a tooth which refused to freeze...in comparison, every other appointment was null).
Hey, if you have trouble with pills, just grind them into water. Capsules can be another issue as some are meant to time lapse. You can ask if you are able to just pour the powder in a drink. I know people whom have actual psychological issues with swallowing pills.
In all seriousness, I find it appalling too, especially with the reiteration of the same boring points over and over again. Unfortunately there's nothing to really change it. Y'know how if you live around a certain smell, you get used to it while others will notice it immediately? That's this right now.
Too bad they'll miss out on great things that go below a 7.
Edit: Oh, sorry. Probably things that go below an 8. The Sevens are why this is going on in the first place...
But don't you see? (/sarcasm of course)
In all seriousness, I find it appalling too, especially with the reiteration of the same boring… more points over and over again. Unfortunately there's nothing to really change it. Y'know how if you live around a certain smell, you get used to it while others will notice it immediately? That's this right now.
Too bad they'll miss out on great things that go below a 7.
Edit: Oh, sorry. Probably things that go below an 8. The Sevens are why this is going on in the first place...
Yeah sometimes I worry about whether what I want to post here is too toxic or not. Honestly I don't want to have to suppress how I actually feel if there's something I want to say but yeah cynicism is a real downer and while it is "free speech" it's still selfish to say whatever's on your mind without any consideration for how others will react. Irritation can really make you blind to that though.
I'll take this opportunity to say I'm sorry if I ever brought anyone down with my posts. I'd love to see more positivity on these forums too but the pessimism here hasn't really irked me too much tbh
Y'know how if you live around a certain smell, you get used to it while others will notice it immediately? That's this right now.
Ye… morep.. When you eat from the finest grain cereal with golden milk enough you start to hate what regular cereal tastes like, which is a shame.
Why can't we just like both ?
I never thought there would be a day that something on these forums makes me want to lash out in some stupid rant before I see the benefit in biting my tongue.
Hey! I'd greatly appreciate help from someone familiar with fundraising in the United States. I know there may be variances from state to state, but generally speaking, will the below put me on FBI's most wanted? I know this may not be the best place to ask, but I haven't anywhere else yet. Sorry for clogging this thread again. I'm disgustingly long-winded.
If a United States minor was hoping to fundraise for a cause - because money is being distributed, does that inherently violate laws without certain provisions? I've reached out to two organizations, one localized, that support our aim: raising money to provide counseling and necessities for local families afflicted by the addiction crisis. I've been planning loosely with an adult (teacher) for over a month, and I'm aching to see if any negligible difference can be made. If we were to (with the consent of business managers) hold frequent donation collections, host a large fundraiser at a nonprofit I volunteer at, and create a website that's "extensively" advertised through flyers and contains a donations tab, will the entire ideal deflate under legal violations? The people I've been communicating with haven't delved into that realm, and with school released, I no longer have that contact. Outside of my inhibited abilities to navigate life, I just feel stupid. I was too terrified to ask in-depth questions, and my parents, while currently tolerating this idea, would shut it down entirely if I had to receive a liscence of some sort. I feel I will have let others down after becoming so hopeful. I just need to try and see if anything meaningful can become of this.
I want to ensure potential money is going to families who are unable to afford treatment (and can become informed of free resources at nearby organizations) - I haven't the faintest idea of how to do that independently, without subordinating to a true organization. But if I'm creating a website to advertise locally and collect donations, does that negate the validity of working under them, making this a distinct organization that is not legally authorized? I understand addiction recovery is accounted for in many health care plans. None of this seemed to raise red flags to my two school advisors. I trust them, but this is foreign territory for me. I don't want to fundraise until I receive feedback from an additional organization. This just sounds readily manipulable, so there must be codes I'm violating with this outline.
Nobody pays attention to a simple fundraiser, but if you're wanting to do something ongoing and significant, you'd need to start your own 501(c)(3) organization, which is not simple (but would have the benefit that any donations to your organization could be tax deductible).
It's far easier to pick a worthy organization that has already done all the 501(c)(3) paperwork, and offer to fundraise for them, possibly having a say in how those funds are distributed, as long as it matches that organization's mission. It will be extra work for them, so they will probably charge an administrative fee to the donations, which would have to be disclosed.
For full details, you should speak with an attorney specializing in the area.
Hey! I'd greatly appreciate help from someone familiar with fundraising in the United States. I know there may be variances from state to st… moreate, but generally speaking, will the below put me on FBI's most wanted? I know this may not be the best place to ask, but I haven't anywhere else yet. Sorry for clogging this thread again. I'm disgustingly long-winded.
(Spoiler)
Thank you so much! The organization I'm currently in contact with seems much more receptive/able to accept what we're planning, and this is a long-term project we hope to build over the summer and introduce to our student body in the fall continuously. I'll definitely keep in contact and try to work out your second solution. I really appreciate it!
Nobody pays attention to a simple fundraiser, but if you're wanting to do something ongoing and significant, you'd need to start your own 50… more1(c)(3) organization, which is not simple (but would have the benefit that any donations to your organization could be tax deductible).
It's far easier to pick a worthy organization that has already done all the 501(c)(3) paperwork, and offer to fundraise for them, possibly having a say in how those funds are distributed, as long as it matches that organization's mission. It will be extra work for them, so they will probably charge an administrative fee to the donations, which would have to be disclosed.
For full details, you should speak with an attorney specializing in the area.
I didn't see your post before you edited it. I was wondering... do you worry about how others may perceive you when you express your thoughts? 'Cause I struggle with that.
Me: "Uhhh..hi.....my name is Eddie"
Rehab patients: "hiiiiiii Eddieeeeee....."
Rehab mentor: "And why are you here?"
Me: "I'm here today because I have a serious addiction to trolling, making really dumb comments, and downright idiocy...."
Yeah that and just doubting the validity of my own rant. Posting personal stuff on the internet always makes me uncomfortable and I constantly worry about being misunderstood when I share something like that in general. Thank you for wondering though
I didn't see your post before you edited it. I was wondering... do you worry about how others may perceive you when you express your thoughts? 'Cause I struggle with that.
Places and corners of the internet like these like to advertise themselves as judgement free zones, that no matter how out there your circumstances are someone will be able to validate you. I've been seeking validation my whole life, in a way it's really the only thing I've demanded out of life, like I've been owed it. No one likes to hear that. No one wants to be told they owe something to someone when they feel they haven't earned it. No one with a "spine" is going to roll over while you discredit their beliefs claiming to just be telling your side of the story. Support is never unconditional, even from those who love you. It's a matter of dancing around what you want to say for the sake of peace while trying to take on the impossible task of keeping those around you content with you hiding things from them.
Is this what support is suppose to feel like? Am I suppose to revise every word that could come out wrong just so I can respond with something that people would be content enough with to reply "Ooh, that sucks"? It's just not worth seeking out, but of course that's not valid either. So I'm stuck being wrong in the eyes of everyone I turn to.
can't get angry about it either because that's wrong too so welp
I want to vent about something else that's on my mind, and it's this:
Destiny terrifies me.
And I know that confession alone seems irrational. Destiny in It's conventional state doesn't have a comprehensible presence. It's a neutral concept. It can't affect the course of events because it is the course of events. Why be scared of it?
In the best way that I can describe it, it's the shadow. That extraordinary moment where light found a way to shine onto your fate and against all odds defies it's transparency and paints it's silhouette onto the ground. You're left with an outline, but no details. Now it has a presence, but just like a monster in a horror movie, you're left with only your imagination to fill in the rest of the picture all while it slowly creeps up on you. All around you pieces are falling into place, and as they do an unpleasant realization dawns on you. You're not in control of your choices, you're a slave to them. Fate has shown it's strings to you, and all you can do either continue to let them yank you to wherever they intend to drag you or cut them off with all your might.
I don't know, that probably doesn't make any sense but oh well, it was on my mind. Have a good one.
You're one of the members on here that I admire and enjoy reading your posts. I see you as a positive and thoughtful person; however, I've noticed that you've been struggling lately though. I've also seen that you struggle with letting it show. I can relate to that.
And I'd say that it's pretty natural to feel uncomfortable about sharing personal thoughts and circumstances on the internet. Although it's (for the most part) anonymous, it's still public.
EDIT: And just in case it came across that way, it doesn't mean that you're weak.
Yeah that and just doubting the validity of my own rant. Posting personal stuff on the internet always makes me uncomfortable and I constantly worry about being misunderstood when I share something like that in general. Thank you for wondering though
Everyone is afraid of the future. No matter how well off you are now, something bad could happen that would disrupt everything.
What you can do is minimize risk based on what you know now. The future could turn out one way or another, but you can make guesses on how it's likely to go, and how bad it could be that you could reasonably protect against. (Maybe you can't do anything about future nuclear explosions or super intelligent androids with guns, but you can take steps to avoid big losses if your house is hit by lightning and catches fire, for example.)
That way, you're ready for the highest-probability events, and if things go so badly that you lose anyway, at least you'll know that you did your best with the options you had.
I want to vent about something else that's on my mind, and it's this:
Destiny terrifies me.
And I know that confession alone seems irr… moreational. Destiny in It's conventional state doesn't have a comprehensible presence. It's a neutral concept. It can't affect the course of events because it is the course of events. Why be scared of it?
In the best way that I can describe it, it's the shadow. That extraordinary moment where light found a way to shine onto your fate and against all odds defies it's transparency and paints it's silhouette onto the ground. You're left with an outline, but no details. Now it has a presence, but just like a monster in a horror movie, you're left with only your imagination to fill in the rest of the picture all while it slowly creeps up on you. All around you pieces are falling into place, and as they do an unpleasant realization dawns on you. You're not in control of your choices, you're a slave to them. Fat… [view original content]
Thank you for caring and showing that you can relate, it really means a lot
To me, strength is a tool, not a measure. It's only when people see weakness as grounds for disrespect and not sincere assistance that I get irritated. I didn't take it that way, don't worry.
You're one of the members on here that I admire and enjoy reading your posts. I see you as a positive and thoughtful person; however, I've n… moreoticed that you've been struggling lately though. I've also seen that you struggle with letting it show. I can relate to that.
And I'd say that it's pretty natural to feel uncomfortable about sharing personal thoughts and circumstances on the internet. Although it's (for the most part) anonymous, it's still public.
EDIT: And just in case it came across that way, it doesn't mean that you're weak.
Hey. So, I've just recently entered my first romantic relationship, and I'm struggling with something that I'm not sure if its unreasonable to feel.
Is there anyone here I can PM who wouldn't mind giving me some relationship advice?
Best advice I can give to you is:
-Don’t chase anyone
-Don’t get too attached
-Stay true to yourself
-Don’t let anyone try to control you
-learn to appreciate your own company just as much as your partner’s. You don’t want to find yourself feeling sad over not being with them
-If they cheat, don’t argue. Just rid yourself of them. Be gone with the wind
Hey. So, I've just recently entered my first romantic relationship, and I'm struggling with something that I'm not sure if its unreasonable to feel.
Is there anyone here I can PM who wouldn't mind giving me some relationship advice?
If you want to PM me I'll try to help out, here's some general advice though
Never complicate things between you two and don't let your partner do it either. Enough baggage and any bridge is eventually going to break.
Be fully committed to reading your partner (don't snoop on her personal life, but take note of the cues she sends out) and be ready to make compromises for the sake of her happiness. She should be striving to do this too if you are in a good relationship. If you feel that she isn't then don't hesitate to confront her or cut ties
Never stop communicating openly and honestly about your feelings to her and your thoughts on the state of the relationship. Any dishonesty between you two is a sign of a decaying relationship
Most of all have fun with it and don't stress yourself out over possibly making mistakes. This should be one of the happiest experiences of your life and the more laidback you show yourself to be towards the relationship the more enjoyable it will be for both of you
Congratulations and I hope it works out well for you!
Hey. So, I've just recently entered my first romantic relationship, and I'm struggling with something that I'm not sure if its unreasonable to feel.
Is there anyone here I can PM who wouldn't mind giving me some relationship advice?
When I was a young kid I loved to over think everything. That's not even a cute way of saying it was a nervous habit (though that could be the case), I literally enjoyed stressing my brain out to the point of mental exhaustion. I would wrap my brain around even the most trivial of philosophical subjects and force myself to wrap my mind around me wrapping my mind on those subjects. Over and over on repeat until the mental strain actually felt painful. I'd say it was akin to a young elementary student trying to dig their way to China in the school sandbox. I was convinced that if I broke my brain down enough eventually I would discover a shocking revelation in its depths. But it never came. All I got was the grim realization that no matter how far down I dug down all I would uncover was more dirt to plow through and be left with a dark hole in my play space that would take ages to fill back in for my troubles.
Not only that, but because of this self awareness I forced upon myself caused basic human sensations to begin to freak me out. Experiences that were suppose to provide basic pleasure such as eating only felt surreal to me, as if I was experiencing it from the backseat in my own mind. It felt like my own body was like a fleshy cage of sorts. Being human felt like a chain to me. I was bound to my own desires and the limitations of this world, and there was no way I could escape alive, and that thought constantly freaked me out.
Maybe that's normal in moderation for a growing child, I don't know. Just wanted to vent about it as best as I could word it because it was on my mind. Best wishes to all of you
I just want to say that I actually really like this thread. I constantly find myself genuinely impressed by the maturity and insight given here with the responses to those asking for help. I mean damn this is legitimately a good little support group you guys got going on here, never would've expected that. Proud of you guys please keep it up ?
Did you exhaust your mind in an attempt to block out reality? To become so lost in your thought that you drift into space, no longer physically tied down to the ground? Thats what I use to do, although I tried to exhausts my body as well as my mind.
Example: when it was really cold and rainy outside, I'd go out and sit in the rain. Focusing on nothing but death's chilling hands running down my face. The sharp rain shards and the uncontrollable shivering took me out of the moment. Suddenly I wasn't a damaged human living a damaged life, I was the rain. I no longer existed. I no longer had to feel any pain. I was but a tiny raindrop falling from the sky, soon to hit the ground and became forgotten.
I guess, in a way, it helped me realise how small my problems actually were. Whatever was on my mind was also but a tiny raindrop, soon to land and disappear.
But we are not raindrops, we are snowflakes. Beautiful, delicate objects that drift around in the wind, nearing closer and closer to the ground, where its journey suddenly ends. If you manage to find and embrace one, it may be the most beautiful thing you've ever seen if you allow it to grow and thrive, or it can be blown away in the wind, never to be seen, never to be admired until it melts.
So, it sounds like it might've been a coping mechanism for you? I don't know.
Well, now you all know for real that I'm crazy. I'm not a sadist though, I hate pain. I just needed the numbing feeling of the cold.
When I was a young kid I loved to over think everything. That's not even a cute way of saying it was a nervous habit (though that could be t… morehe case), I literally enjoyed stressing my brain out to the point of mental exhaustion. I would wrap my brain around even the most trivial of philosophical subjects and force myself to wrap my mind around me wrapping my mind on those subjects. Over and over on repeat until the mental strain actually felt painful. I'd say it was akin to a young elementary student trying to dig their way to China in the school sandbox. I was convinced that if I broke my brain down enough eventually I would discover a shocking revelation in its depths. But it never came. All I got was the grim realization that no matter how far down I dug down all I would uncover was more dirt to plow through and be left with a dark hole in my play space that would take ages to fill back in for my troubles.
Not only that, but because of t… [view original content]
I have vivid memories of going out and just standing in the rain on my own. It feels cold and uncomfortable, but instead of fighting it, I embrace that feeling. When you stop fighting it, you become relaxed and let go of that urge to shiver. That uncomfortable feeling of cold becomes bearable and even somewhat enjoyable; it makes you appreciate being alive. You are brought into the present moment, momentarily distracted to feel emotional pain. I don't feel alone; I feel the comforting, humble presence of nature... [deep, gruff voice] peeing on society and all the pitiful humans who dare deface her planet with their pretentious inventions! Bwahaha! [normal voice] Okay, I'm not that resentful of the human race; I feel both a strong love and loathing hatred for humans. Kinda 50/50. Also, the rain just looks so dang beautiful: the foggy, mysterious atmosphere; the wet surfaces reflecting the moody, gray sky; the cold but refreshing air; the relaxing sound of thousands of tiny raindrops disappearing into the surface of all different structures and materials.
It's funny how we both have found some sort of meditative escape from reality through rain.
I used to do something similar. Kind of...
Did you exhaust your mind in an attempt to block out reality? To become so lost in your though… moret that you drift into space, no longer physically tied down to the ground? Thats what I use to do, although I tried to exhausts my body as well as my mind.
Example: when it was really cold and rainy outside, I'd go out and sit in the rain. Focusing on nothing but death's chilling hands running down my face. The sharp rain shards and the uncontrollable shivering took me out of the moment. Suddenly I wasn't a damaged human living a damaged life, I was the rain. I no longer existed. I no longer had to feel any pain. I was but a tiny raindrop falling from the sky, soon to hit the ground and became forgotten.
I guess, in a way, it helped me realise how small my problems actually were. Whatever was on my mind was also but a tiny raindrop, soon to land and disappear.
But we are not raindrops, we are sno… [view original content]
Very nicely put, you too @Psychokinesis tbh I never really had an affinity for the rain. It's nice I guess but it never had much spiritual significance to my life. Quincy loved the rain though. When it started pouring I'd take her outside on my should and let her get soaked, and she'd stretch out her wings as far as she could and chirp cheerfully. I looked forward to when it would rain just so she could take a shower in it and for the two weeks after her death it broke my heart whenever it would start raining.
Anyways t's not so much that I was trying to block it out (at first) moreso that I wanted so badly to break through it and see something mindblowing on the other side. It was only when I realized that there was no way to do that in this life that I started to take a step back from these human sensations and go "wow this is too strange and pointless for me." Our souls have been extracted from the limbo we experienced before conception and locked away in these vessels, and as a kid that freaked me out completely, and at times it still does. Maybe that kind of getting accustomed to your physical form and limitations is just a part of growing up?
But hey, I've been told multiple times throughout my life that I'm naive, and I pretty much proved that in my personal life today, so take what I say in this thread with a grain of salt.
I used to do something similar. Kind of...
Did you exhaust your mind in an attempt to block out reality? To become so lost in your though… moret that you drift into space, no longer physically tied down to the ground? Thats what I use to do, although I tried to exhausts my body as well as my mind.
Example: when it was really cold and rainy outside, I'd go out and sit in the rain. Focusing on nothing but death's chilling hands running down my face. The sharp rain shards and the uncontrollable shivering took me out of the moment. Suddenly I wasn't a damaged human living a damaged life, I was the rain. I no longer existed. I no longer had to feel any pain. I was but a tiny raindrop falling from the sky, soon to hit the ground and became forgotten.
I guess, in a way, it helped me realise how small my problems actually were. Whatever was on my mind was also but a tiny raindrop, soon to land and disappear.
But we are not raindrops, we are sno… [view original content]
your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.
I overthink and overanalyze everything. The simplest way that I can think of explaining it is as if my thoughts are similar to "breaking the fourth wall" which is... a pretty weird way of describing it.
I just want to say... that you're not weird because of it.
When I was a young kid I loved to over think everything. That's not even a cute way of saying it was a nervous habit (though that could be t… morehe case), I literally enjoyed stressing my brain out to the point of mental exhaustion. I would wrap my brain around even the most trivial of philosophical subjects and force myself to wrap my mind around me wrapping my mind on those subjects. Over and over on repeat until the mental strain actually felt painful. I'd say it was akin to a young elementary student trying to dig their way to China in the school sandbox. I was convinced that if I broke my brain down enough eventually I would discover a shocking revelation in its depths. But it never came. All I got was the grim realization that no matter how far down I dug down all I would uncover was more dirt to plow through and be left with a dark hole in my play space that would take ages to fill back in for my troubles.
Not only that, but because of t… [view original content]
I think that's a good way of simplifying it, doesn't really sound that weird when you put it that way
I just want to say... that you're not weird because of it.
No, I am weird lol It's not an insult unless someone makes it out to be. I just didn't know if others could relate. Appreciate the assurance though, thank you
I overthink and overanalyze everything. The simplest way that I can think of explaining it is as if my thoughts are similar to "breaking the… more fourth wall" which is... a pretty weird way of describing it.
I just want to say... that you're not weird because of it.
That's a pleasant and uplifting paragraph, I really liked the song too I have trouble accepting the message though, as much as I want to. I don't think dismissing other's opinions for the sake of fulfillment is that easy...
Humanity has usurped the entire planet, and it wants to be able to only allow mother nature to have control over her land when it permits her to. Surpassing human judgement is the only way we can survive in this day and age. You can live an unconventional life and avoid it, but you're putting yourself at odds with the side that is currently winning, whether you mean to pit yourself against them or not.
I can't believe that there no such thing as a judgement free environment from personal experience. Judgement is an ingrained instinct of human nature. When people say they only want to help, judgement hasn't left them it just takes on an undercurrent beneath the facade of an unconditionally supportive atmosphere, and anyone could break through that facade at any moment if they feel that their standards were broken. I could be stepping on toes right now insinuating that people aren't able to live up to their promise of unconditional help, I'll never know where those boundaries are until I make a step.
And that's the biggest pill I've had to swallow. If you do anything in front of anyone you risk crossing boundaries. You're going to make enemies, maybe even powerful enemies, just for being you, maybe even just for what you were born with. Anyone could become your enemy. Even the ones who say they love you. You can hide from them, please everyone you can just so all will be your friend, but that's what they want. They don't want your ideals in their way they just want your abilities to boost them to a greater advantage. They want you to get back in the line they laid out according to the plan they've envisioned for life itself.
Does following my heart mean trampling anyone who willingly puts themself between us? Does destiny say I will have to hurt others just to figure out my true calling? I have met so many people, people I cared about, who have told me my intuition was wrong, that they don't believe in my heart so I shouldn't. Your heart serves you first and foremost. If the pulse it gives guides you to a calling that the close ones in your life can commend, that's great, but it's never guaranteed, and you risk taking their genuine investment into you and dashing it completely, possibly even regretting they ever met you or that you ever existed, just for being the person life has shaped you up to be. And there's nothing you can do to ease their pain except lying to yourself to conform to their beliefs.
I like posting here, it's a smol little support group full of mature people from my experience with all of you hope you all have a great one
your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other pe… moreople’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.
I remember when I first got into drama in my first years of high school. I don't know why I chose to at first. I was absolutely terrible with getting in front of people. Maybe it's because I always wanted to be in one of those elementary but none of my teachers organized one for their classes lol
Anyways, the point is that at the start of my classes, I was a nervous wreck. Improv terrified me because every time I had to do it the stress would make my mind go blank. I couldn't do improv, I was terrible at it.
I stayed because I loved working from a script. Improv was easy then because I had a mind laid out for me to delve into, I didn't have to make one up on the spot (I can make up characters but it takes time) I would put my heart and soul into those auditions. I got starring roles in productions. Obviously going on stage still freaked me out but the good feedback I got from past performances is what made me get on that stage. People made an effort to tell me that I was good, that they wanted to see me go on that spotlight more often. If they hadn't done that I probably never would've
This isn't much different from a stage really. Even as I pour my heart out here I'm still performing for you guys. Whenever I leave myself open to anyone for advice, be it friends, family, what have you, I'm still putting myself in that spotlight, leaving myself vulnerable to your judgements, just so I can get your feedback. Trying my best to carefully articulate my thoughts in a way my that won't upset you, manipulating my inflection just the way you expect it to be from someone asking for help. I'm still a slave to your impressions just like anywhere else. I need you to be able to relate, to think the cause I'm working for or the injustice I'm working against is worth helping and not being dismissed, otherwise there's no point to coming here.
Its only when you get to know your audience personally and can assure yourself that they won't attack you because of your performance or what you have to say, that you can loosen up and let the real you stand out. Until then you can only test the waters and put on several different masks until you can get a feel for who they are, and if their ideals don't match yours you can either move on till you find an audience that does or continue to amuse them until you let the masks define you just so you can fit in.
Guys I need help. So there's this popular prison cuisine called the "prison burrito" That contains a ramen noodle pack, doritos, a slim jim, cheez-its, water, mayo and ketchup and I want to make one, but I won't be abe to enjoy it fully because I have other food options to choose from that'll taste better, whereas people in prison don't have any better options, and get to fully experience what it's like to eat something that, for once, doesn't taste nor smell like shit. what should I do????
Guys I need help. So there's this popular prison cuisine called the "prison burrito" That contains a ramen noodle pack, doritos, a slim jim,… more cheez-its, water, mayo and ketchup and I want to make one, but I won't be abe to enjoy it fully because I have other food options to choose from that'll taste better, whereas people in prison don't have any better options, and get to fully experience what it's like to eat something that, for once, doesn't taste nor smell like shit. what should I do????
woah that’s really long haha I can’t believe I read it all. Your text is truly beautiful, I understand is not easy, people think you’ll see an inspiring message and have full confidence as soon as you read it, but that paragraph made me feel better, and since I know a lot of you guys in this thread are suffering for some reason, I decided to post it here to hopefully make other people feel better too, I love listening to inspiring songs so “why not?”. Probably someone needs it too.
That's a pleasant and uplifting paragraph, I really liked the song too I have trouble accepting the message though, as much as I want to. I… more don't think dismissing other's opinions for the sake of fulfillment is that easy...
Humanity has usurped the entire planet, and it wants to be able to only allow mother nature to have control over her land when it permits her to. Surpassing human judgement is the only way we can survive in this day and age. You can live an unconventional life and avoid it, but you're putting yourself at odds with the side that is currently winning, whether you mean to pit yourself against them or not.
I can't believe that there no such thing as a judgement free environment from personal experience. Judgement is an ingrained instinct of human nature. When people say they only want to help, judgement hasn't left them it just takes on an undercurrent beneath the facade of an unconditionally supportive atmosphere, and … [view original content]
Anyone else sometimes dread having to go to sleep? Not because of the nightmares exactly, but because you don't want to have to slog through at least 8 hours of uncontrollable surreality, having to put up with your mind gleefully distorting your loved ones and cherished memories, regardless of if you're comfortable with the direction it's heading,until it decides it's finally time to release you back into the real world?
I just want to be well rested for the morning. I don't want to have to put up with some director's drug induced experimental art film starring my life that I won't even remember right after I watch it lol
Comments
Early tomorrow morning (about 8am) I'm getting two teeth taken out.
Why? Well, it's for more braces. I've got the top, now we need the bottom locked in.
There's just not enough room for all my teeth, so some have to come out for the rest to look straight.
Right after that surgery, I'm getting those bottom braces put in right away to start shifting things around. It's going to be a crazy morning.
Sure, I'll be under anesthetic or laughing gas or something for the removal (not unconscious, but I don't mind if it'll be painless and easy) and it'll probably last until after the braces get put on too, but I don't think I'll have a fun time afterwards.
...There's also the dreaded antibiotics I'll have to take. 2 pills beforehand, 3 pills per day after, and they're quite large things.
I am not a fan of pills. Small, heavy, sinkable solid things that you need to swallow in water without choking on.
[sigh] ... Sorry for all the complaining about something that's obviously going to help me later on, but it's the commencement of all this complicated stuff and the accompanying uncertainty of my now-changing quality of life that gets to me.
Wish me luck.
P.S.. Oh yeah, I'm also coming down with an annoying cold. Sore throat, cough, slight weakness in the arms/legs. Hope that goes okay and doesn't get worse for tomorrow. The last thing I want is for this to get rescheduled.
Edit: Okay, got it done. Hopefully recovery goes smooth.
(I wonder though, why can't we spit, rinse, or suck on straws but somehow eat soft foods and liquids that might cause the same effects? I don't want to interrupt the healing by eating soup that'll go over the wound.)
I've had teeth removed to get a (fixed, not removable)retainer as well as had surgery to extract compacted wisdom teeth. I've also have NUMEROUS dental procedures(severe depression as a child led to a laps in hygiene). The worst part of EVERYTHING was just having a sore jaw due to having my mouth open for so long.
If you suffer from anxiety over the procedures, that's one thing, but I can tell you that all other fears are rather unwarranted(I've also had a filing on a tooth which refused to freeze...in comparison, every other appointment was null).
Hey, if you have trouble with pills, just grind them into water. Capsules can be another issue as some are meant to time lapse. You can ask if you are able to just pour the powder in a drink. I know people whom have actual psychological issues with swallowing pills.
Thanks, I guess.
I just get general anxiety over 0.0001% potential danger or harmful procedures.
And yeah, my fears were completely unwarranted. It turns out I fell asleep during the procedure so that helped.
And again, sorry if these worries or complaints are unnecessary. I just need to get stuff like this off my chest sometimes, even if they're quite petty and redundant in the long-run. You've got me beat on tooth procedure stories. The only serious things I've had to get was this, and one time where a cavity had to be patched up.
...You see, I'm a Chicken when it comes to danger.
I'm getting real fucking sick of certain members on here. How the fuck are you people so far up your own ass you don't see how toxic you're being.
Sorry 'bout that.
But don't you see? (/sarcasm of course)
In all seriousness, I find it appalling too, especially with the reiteration of the same boring points over and over again. Unfortunately there's nothing to really change it. Y'know how if you live around a certain smell, you get used to it while others will notice it immediately? That's this right now.
Too bad they'll miss out on great things that go below a 7.
Edit: Oh, sorry. Probably things that go below an 8. The Sevens are why this is going on in the first place...
Yep.. When you eat from the finest grain cereal with golden milk enough you start to hate what regular cereal tastes like, which is a shame.
Why can't we just like both ?
Yeah sometimes I worry about whether what I want to post here is too toxic or not. Honestly I don't want to have to suppress how I actually feel if there's something I want to say but yeah cynicism is a real downer and while it is "free speech" it's still selfish to say whatever's on your mind without any consideration for how others will react. Irritation can really make you blind to that though.
I'll take this opportunity to say I'm sorry if I ever brought anyone down with my posts. I'd love to see more positivity on these forums too but the pessimism here hasn't really irked me too much tbh
No.
Basic Cheerios > Honey Cheerios
I never thought there would be a day that something on these forums makes me want to lash out in some stupid rant before I see the benefit in biting my tongue.
Consider this a compromise, I guess.
Hey! I'd greatly appreciate help from someone familiar with fundraising in the United States. I know there may be variances from state to state, but generally speaking, will the below put me on FBI's most wanted? I know this may not be the best place to ask, but I haven't anywhere else yet. Sorry for clogging this thread again. I'm disgustingly long-winded.
If a United States minor was hoping to fundraise for a cause - because money is being distributed, does that inherently violate laws without certain provisions? I've reached out to two organizations, one localized, that support our aim: raising money to provide counseling and necessities for local families afflicted by the addiction crisis. I've been planning loosely with an adult (teacher) for over a month, and I'm aching to see if any negligible difference can be made. If we were to (with the consent of business managers) hold frequent donation collections, host a large fundraiser at a nonprofit I volunteer at, and create a website that's "extensively" advertised through flyers and contains a donations tab, will the entire ideal deflate under legal violations? The people I've been communicating with haven't delved into that realm, and with school released, I no longer have that contact. Outside of my inhibited abilities to navigate life, I just feel stupid. I was too terrified to ask in-depth questions, and my parents, while currently tolerating this idea, would shut it down entirely if I had to receive a liscence of some sort. I feel I will have let others down after becoming so hopeful. I just need to try and see if anything meaningful can become of this.
I want to ensure potential money is going to families who are unable to afford treatment (and can become informed of free resources at nearby organizations) - I haven't the faintest idea of how to do that independently, without subordinating to a true organization. But if I'm creating a website to advertise locally and collect donations, does that negate the validity of working under them, making this a distinct organization that is not legally authorized? I understand addiction recovery is accounted for in many health care plans. None of this seemed to raise red flags to my two school advisors. I trust them, but this is foreign territory for me. I don't want to fundraise until I receive feedback from an additional organization. This just sounds readily manipulable, so there must be codes I'm violating with this outline.
Nobody pays attention to a simple fundraiser, but if you're wanting to do something ongoing and significant, you'd need to start your own 501(c)(3) organization, which is not simple (but would have the benefit that any donations to your organization could be tax deductible).
It's far easier to pick a worthy organization that has already done all the 501(c)(3) paperwork, and offer to fundraise for them, possibly having a say in how those funds are distributed, as long as it matches that organization's mission. It will be extra work for them, so they will probably charge an administrative fee to the donations, which would have to be disclosed.
For full details, you should speak with an attorney specializing in the area.
Thank you so much! The organization I'm currently in contact with seems much more receptive/able to accept what we're planning, and this is a long-term project we hope to build over the summer and introduce to our student body in the fall continuously. I'll definitely keep in contact and try to work out your second solution. I really appreciate it!
ehh
I didn't see your post before you edited it. I was wondering... do you worry about how others may perceive you when you express your thoughts? 'Cause I struggle with that.
Me: "Uhhh..hi.....my name is Eddie"
Rehab patients: "hiiiiiii Eddieeeeee....."
Rehab mentor: "And why are you here?"
Me: "I'm here today because I have a serious addiction to trolling, making really dumb comments, and downright idiocy...."
Yeah that and just doubting the validity of my own rant. Posting personal stuff on the internet always makes me uncomfortable and I constantly worry about being misunderstood when I share something like that in general. Thank you for wondering though
Places and corners of the internet like these like to advertise themselves as judgement free zones, that no matter how out there your circumstances are someone will be able to validate you. I've been seeking validation my whole life, in a way it's really the only thing I've demanded out of life, like I've been owed it. No one likes to hear that. No one wants to be told they owe something to someone when they feel they haven't earned it. No one with a "spine" is going to roll over while you discredit their beliefs claiming to just be telling your side of the story. Support is never unconditional, even from those who love you. It's a matter of dancing around what you want to say for the sake of peace while trying to take on the impossible task of keeping those around you content with you hiding things from them.
Is this what support is suppose to feel like? Am I suppose to revise every word that could come out wrong just so I can respond with something that people would be content enough with to reply "Ooh, that sucks"? It's just not worth seeking out, but of course that's not valid either. So I'm stuck being wrong in the eyes of everyone I turn to.
can't get angry about it either because that's wrong too so welp
I want to vent about something else that's on my mind, and it's this:
Destiny terrifies me.
And I know that confession alone seems irrational. Destiny in It's conventional state doesn't have a comprehensible presence. It's a neutral concept. It can't affect the course of events because it is the course of events. Why be scared of it?
In the best way that I can describe it, it's the shadow. That extraordinary moment where light found a way to shine onto your fate and against all odds defies it's transparency and paints it's silhouette onto the ground. You're left with an outline, but no details. Now it has a presence, but just like a monster in a horror movie, you're left with only your imagination to fill in the rest of the picture all while it slowly creeps up on you. All around you pieces are falling into place, and as they do an unpleasant realization dawns on you. You're not in control of your choices, you're a slave to them. Fate has shown it's strings to you, and all you can do either continue to let them yank you to wherever they intend to drag you or cut them off with all your might.
I don't know, that probably doesn't make any sense but oh well, it was on my mind. Have a good one.
You're one of the members on here that I admire and enjoy reading your posts. I see you as a positive and thoughtful person; however, I've noticed that you've been struggling lately though. I've also seen that you struggle with letting it show. I can relate to that.
And I'd say that it's pretty natural to feel uncomfortable about sharing personal thoughts and circumstances on the internet.
Although it's (for the most part) anonymous, it's still public.
EDIT: And just in case it came across that way, it doesn't mean that you're weak.
Everyone is afraid of the future. No matter how well off you are now, something bad could happen that would disrupt everything.
What you can do is minimize risk based on what you know now. The future could turn out one way or another, but you can make guesses on how it's likely to go, and how bad it could be that you could reasonably protect against. (Maybe you can't do anything about future nuclear explosions or super intelligent androids with guns, but you can take steps to avoid big losses if your house is hit by lightning and catches fire, for example.)
That way, you're ready for the highest-probability events, and if things go so badly that you lose anyway, at least you'll know that you did your best with the options you had.
Thank you for caring and showing that you can relate, it really means a lot
To me, strength is a tool, not a measure. It's only when people see weakness as grounds for disrespect and not sincere assistance that I get irritated. I didn't take it that way, don't worry.
Hey. So, I've just recently entered my first romantic relationship, and I'm struggling with something that I'm not sure if its unreasonable to feel.
Is there anyone here I can PM who wouldn't mind giving me some relationship advice?
I wish I could give you some advice but I'm lonely af
Best advice I can give to you is:
-Don’t chase anyone
-Don’t get too attached
-Stay true to yourself
-Don’t let anyone try to control you
-learn to appreciate your own company just as much as your partner’s. You don’t want to find yourself feeling sad over not being with them
-If they cheat, don’t argue. Just rid yourself of them. Be gone with the wind
If you want to PM me I'll try to help out, here's some general advice though
Never complicate things between you two and don't let your partner do it either. Enough baggage and any bridge is eventually going to break.
Be fully committed to reading your partner (don't snoop on her personal life, but take note of the cues she sends out) and be ready to make compromises for the sake of her happiness. She should be striving to do this too if you are in a good relationship. If you feel that she isn't then don't hesitate to confront her or cut ties
Never stop communicating openly and honestly about your feelings to her and your thoughts on the state of the relationship. Any dishonesty between you two is a sign of a decaying relationship
Most of all have fun with it and don't stress yourself out over possibly making mistakes. This should be one of the happiest experiences of your life and the more laidback you show yourself to be towards the relationship the more enjoyable it will be for both of you
Congratulations and I hope it works out well for you!
When I was a young kid I loved to over think everything. That's not even a cute way of saying it was a nervous habit (though that could be the case), I literally enjoyed stressing my brain out to the point of mental exhaustion. I would wrap my brain around even the most trivial of philosophical subjects and force myself to wrap my mind around me wrapping my mind on those subjects. Over and over on repeat until the mental strain actually felt painful. I'd say it was akin to a young elementary student trying to dig their way to China in the school sandbox. I was convinced that if I broke my brain down enough eventually I would discover a shocking revelation in its depths. But it never came. All I got was the grim realization that no matter how far down I dug down all I would uncover was more dirt to plow through and be left with a dark hole in my play space that would take ages to fill back in for my troubles.
Not only that, but because of this self awareness I forced upon myself caused basic human sensations to begin to freak me out. Experiences that were suppose to provide basic pleasure such as eating only felt surreal to me, as if I was experiencing it from the backseat in my own mind. It felt like my own body was like a fleshy cage of sorts. Being human felt like a chain to me. I was bound to my own desires and the limitations of this world, and there was no way I could escape alive, and that thought constantly freaked me out.
Maybe that's normal in moderation for a growing child, I don't know. Just wanted to vent about it as best as I could word it because it was on my mind. Best wishes to all of you
I just want to say that I actually really like this thread. I constantly find myself genuinely impressed by the maturity and insight given here with the responses to those asking for help. I mean damn this is legitimately a good little support group you guys got going on here, never would've expected that. Proud of you guys please keep it up ?
I used to do something similar. Kind of...
Did you exhaust your mind in an attempt to block out reality? To become so lost in your thought that you drift into space, no longer physically tied down to the ground? Thats what I use to do, although I tried to exhausts my body as well as my mind.
Example: when it was really cold and rainy outside, I'd go out and sit in the rain. Focusing on nothing but death's chilling hands running down my face. The sharp rain shards and the uncontrollable shivering took me out of the moment. Suddenly I wasn't a damaged human living a damaged life, I was the rain. I no longer existed. I no longer had to feel any pain. I was but a tiny raindrop falling from the sky, soon to hit the ground and became forgotten.
I guess, in a way, it helped me realise how small my problems actually were. Whatever was on my mind was also but a tiny raindrop, soon to land and disappear.
But we are not raindrops, we are snowflakes. Beautiful, delicate objects that drift around in the wind, nearing closer and closer to the ground, where its journey suddenly ends. If you manage to find and embrace one, it may be the most beautiful thing you've ever seen if you allow it to grow and thrive, or it can be blown away in the wind, never to be seen, never to be admired until it melts.
So, it sounds like it might've been a coping mechanism for you? I don't know.
Well, now you all know for real that I'm crazy. I'm not a sadist though, I hate pain. I just needed the numbing feeling of the cold.
I have vivid memories of going out and just standing in the rain on my own. It feels cold and uncomfortable, but instead of fighting it, I embrace that feeling. When you stop fighting it, you become relaxed and let go of that urge to shiver. That uncomfortable feeling of cold becomes bearable and even somewhat enjoyable; it makes you appreciate being alive. You are brought into the present moment, momentarily distracted to feel emotional pain. I don't feel alone; I feel the comforting, humble presence of nature... [deep, gruff voice] peeing on society and all the pitiful humans who dare deface her planet with their pretentious inventions! Bwahaha! [normal voice] Okay, I'm not that resentful of the human race; I feel both a strong love and loathing hatred for humans. Kinda 50/50. Also, the rain just looks so dang beautiful: the foggy, mysterious atmosphere; the wet surfaces reflecting the moody, gray sky; the cold but refreshing air; the relaxing sound of thousands of tiny raindrops disappearing into the surface of all different structures and materials.
It's funny how we both have found some sort of meditative escape from reality through rain.
Very nicely put, you too @Psychokinesis
tbh I never really had an affinity for the rain. It's nice I guess but it never had much spiritual significance to my life. Quincy loved the rain though. When it started pouring I'd take her outside on my should and let her get soaked, and she'd stretch out her wings as far as she could and chirp cheerfully. I looked forward to when it would rain just so she could take a shower in it and for the two weeks after her death it broke my heart whenever it would start raining.
Anyways t's not so much that I was trying to block it out (at first) moreso that I wanted so badly to break through it and see something mindblowing on the other side. It was only when I realized that there was no way to do that in this life that I started to take a step back from these human sensations and go "wow this is too strange and pointless for me." Our souls have been extracted from the limbo we experienced before conception and locked away in these vessels, and as a kid that freaked me out completely, and at times it still does. Maybe that kind of getting accustomed to your physical form and limitations is just a part of growing up?
But hey, I've been told multiple times throughout my life that I'm naive, and I pretty much proved that in my personal life today, so take what I say in this thread with a grain of salt.
your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.
I overthink and overanalyze everything. The simplest way that I can think of explaining it is as if my thoughts are similar to "breaking the fourth wall" which is... a pretty weird way of describing it.
I just want to say... that you're not weird because of it.
I think that's a good way of simplifying it, doesn't really sound that weird when you put it that way
No, I am weird lol It's not an insult unless someone makes it out to be. I just didn't know if others could relate. Appreciate the assurance though, thank you
That's a pleasant and uplifting paragraph, I really liked the song too
I have trouble accepting the message though, as much as I want to. I don't think dismissing other's opinions for the sake of fulfillment is that easy...
Humanity has usurped the entire planet, and it wants to be able to only allow mother nature to have control over her land when it permits her to. Surpassing human judgement is the only way we can survive in this day and age. You can live an unconventional life and avoid it, but you're putting yourself at odds with the side that is currently winning, whether you mean to pit yourself against them or not.
I can't believe that there no such thing as a judgement free environment from personal experience. Judgement is an ingrained instinct of human nature. When people say they only want to help, judgement hasn't left them it just takes on an undercurrent beneath the facade of an unconditionally supportive atmosphere, and anyone could break through that facade at any moment if they feel that their standards were broken. I could be stepping on toes right now insinuating that people aren't able to live up to their promise of unconditional help, I'll never know where those boundaries are until I make a step.
And that's the biggest pill I've had to swallow. If you do anything in front of anyone you risk crossing boundaries. You're going to make enemies, maybe even powerful enemies, just for being you, maybe even just for what you were born with. Anyone could become your enemy. Even the ones who say they love you. You can hide from them, please everyone you can just so all will be your friend, but that's what they want. They don't want your ideals in their way they just want your abilities to boost them to a greater advantage. They want you to get back in the line they laid out according to the plan they've envisioned for life itself.
Does following my heart mean trampling anyone who willingly puts themself between us? Does destiny say I will have to hurt others just to figure out my true calling? I have met so many people, people I cared about, who have told me my intuition was wrong, that they don't believe in my heart so I shouldn't. Your heart serves you first and foremost. If the pulse it gives guides you to a calling that the close ones in your life can commend, that's great, but it's never guaranteed, and you risk taking their genuine investment into you and dashing it completely, possibly even regretting they ever met you or that you ever existed, just for being the person life has shaped you up to be. And there's nothing you can do to ease their pain except lying to yourself to conform to their beliefs.
I like posting here, it's a smol little support group full of mature people from my experience with all of you
hope you all have a great one
I remember when I first got into drama in my first years of high school. I don't know why I chose to at first. I was absolutely terrible with getting in front of people. Maybe it's because I always wanted to be in one of those elementary but none of my teachers organized one for their classes lol
Anyways, the point is that at the start of my classes, I was a nervous wreck. Improv terrified me because every time I had to do it the stress would make my mind go blank. I couldn't do improv, I was terrible at it.
I stayed because I loved working from a script. Improv was easy then because I had a mind laid out for me to delve into, I didn't have to make one up on the spot (I can make up characters but it takes time) I would put my heart and soul into those auditions. I got starring roles in productions. Obviously going on stage still freaked me out but the good feedback I got from past performances is what made me get on that stage. People made an effort to tell me that I was good, that they wanted to see me go on that spotlight more often. If they hadn't done that I probably never would've
This isn't much different from a stage really. Even as I pour my heart out here I'm still performing for you guys. Whenever I leave myself open to anyone for advice, be it friends, family, what have you, I'm still putting myself in that spotlight, leaving myself vulnerable to your judgements, just so I can get your feedback. Trying my best to carefully articulate my thoughts in a way my that won't upset you, manipulating my inflection just the way you expect it to be from someone asking for help. I'm still a slave to your impressions just like anywhere else. I need you to be able to relate, to think the cause I'm working for or the injustice I'm working against is worth helping and not being dismissed, otherwise there's no point to coming here.
Its only when you get to know your audience personally and can assure yourself that they won't attack you because of your performance or what you have to say, that you can loosen up and let the real you stand out. Until then you can only test the waters and put on several different masks until you can get a feel for who they are, and if their ideals don't match yours you can either move on till you find an audience that does or continue to amuse them until you let the masks define you just so you can fit in.
Guys I need help. So there's this popular prison cuisine called the "prison burrito" That contains a ramen noodle pack, doritos, a slim jim, cheez-its, water, mayo and ketchup and I want to make one, but I won't be abe to enjoy it fully because I have other food options to choose from that'll taste better, whereas people in prison don't have any better options, and get to fully experience what it's like to eat something that, for once, doesn't taste nor smell like shit. what should I do????
I'd eat it lol
woah that’s really long haha I can’t believe I read it all. Your text is truly beautiful, I understand is not easy, people think you’ll see an inspiring message and have full confidence as soon as you read it, but that paragraph made me feel better, and since I know a lot of you guys in this thread are suffering for some reason, I decided to post it here to hopefully make other people feel better too, I love listening to inspiring songs so “why not?”. Probably someone needs it too.
Anyone else sometimes dread having to go to sleep? Not because of the nightmares exactly, but because you don't want to have to slog through at least 8 hours of uncontrollable surreality, having to put up with your mind gleefully distorting your loved ones and cherished memories, regardless of if you're comfortable with the direction it's heading,until it decides it's finally time to release you back into the real world?
I just want to be well rested for the morning. I don't want to have to put up with some director's drug induced experimental art film starring my life that I won't even remember right after I watch it lol