Borderlands Joke Thread
Your home for all Borderlands themed jokes, both hilarious and terrible. I want to collect them all. Remember, always read every joke on this thread in Claptrap's voice!
Let's get things going:
What do you tell to a bunch of angry and cold psychos?
Chill!!!!!!!!
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Which Vault Hunter is best a measuring stuff?
GAIGE (hahahaHAHAHAHAHA that's such a killer)
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Why are Lilith and Maya are so loud?
Cause they're sirens!
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Which is Sasha's least favorite month?
August!
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Why are Moxxi, and Ellie good at basketball?
Because they can Hodunk!!
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Why do all the nerds love love Fiona?
Because she's a con!
-Edit-
Guys, you're killing me here. Can we all agree to only bring up shipping if it's a joke? And people come on use your cranial computer like robots do, oh wait you don't have that,what do fleshy meatbags have again? Oh, yeah, brains!!!! So please, more jokes, less ship wars.
Comments
Is there any other way?
Taken Down
So more people don't read this shit and complain about it when it's already over and a day has passed- lesson learned, drop it
Even though I'm both Rhysha and Rhyiona shipper, you almost made me post the joke about the Non-canon museum.
To respond to the fact that you're a shipper of both: My personal opinion is that you must choose one eventually...unless you want to see a Three-some with the sisters doubling on Rhys....
Damn, they call you Salt for a reason.
It started when I killed some guy over in TWD named Larry....
Why should I actually choose one of them? I mean, I'm a multi shipper. I can't just choose between them. I ship both Rhysha and Rhyiona because I think both of them are equally amazing ships. And I don't really want to see a 3some with the sisters doubling on Rhys to be honest. I ship both but no... No Rhys x Fiona x Sasha... That just disgusts me in a way.
Well I'm just trying to understand your logic, that's all....
If we get a Season 2...you're probably going to have to choose which one you want Rhys to go with...might be a year, 2 years, or 10 even...but hopefully we will get a Season 2...
Or I can just create two save files so I can have Rhyiona moments on the 1st save file and Rhysha moments on the 2nd save file
But if Season 2 comes, you'll have to choose which one you'll go with FIRST and that technically will be your primary :P
Italics makes things more dramatic, right? Lol
Oh hey, I got something that's even better. You know what's really funny, only 3% got Rhyiona.
Taken down
Wow, that's some nice art work. I found some nice Rhysha art work as well.
Wait a minute, this isn't artwork, this actually happened.
Taken Down
So more ppl won't read the whole argument and take it seriously
Thats not true. It says that 3% didnt got Rhysha. Some people didnt want to ship rhys with anyone. so you can splitt the 3% once more.
No it said that 3% said they liked someone else. There was a separate statistic of 20% that said they were just friends.
Just because your thread is "Rhyiona Confirmed" your ship is not canon. Your ship was determinant and lightly referenced for one episode, your opposing ship is either lightly or heavily referenced in all 5.
If lines like "you thieving Pandoran SCUM!" and "lying Hyperion jackass" are chemistry, you need to google a definition of romance.
I'm gonna not go into details but you are unbelievably confident that your ship is canon but, as mentioned above, one determinant scene. Don't mistake my Rhysha profile picture of me stooping to the level to say the title should be "Tales from Rhysha" because not a single ship in this game has overtaken the whole plot or gotten in the way of the plot.
You SHOULD if you're trying to say your ship is canon!
If I can resist from proving friendly gestures, conversation, and light eye contact after risking YOUR LIVES AND YOUR CLOSEST FRIENDS' LIVES to get to something that is said to be an incredible and one of the most rare things in existence is NOT in a big way romantic, if we're going into this zone, well... Remember who started it.
In case you're curious, none of those scenes are determinant. There's a lot more. I'll wait for the opposition
you just fuckin roasted rhyiona great work.
Oh. Ok Then.
Taken Down
Some people acted like this was a serious thing so bye-bye post
why is claptrap orange because hes a robot idk
Oh i remember that guy, he was an @$$hole.
Yeah....I'm pretty sure most here believe in a Harry Potter theory where I may have picked up some of his assholish behavior...
Notice how this thread went from a joke thread and me trying to make a joke into a Rhyiona/Rhysha argument... I should have seen this coming....
A: Wanna hear a joke?
B: Sure!
A: What's a Rhyiona shipper, Conservative, extremely annoying, rude, and racist,called?
B: Uhhh I don't know!
A: @Saltlick123
A & B: OH! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
Does that make this thread balanced again?
@Saltlick123 @MetallicaRules @GSSalvador @Wolfenus54 @bigdogg0821 @Duck_Hunt
This is not a fucking shipping wars thread. You all know where to go to politely share your opinions on that matter. Now, I'm not against shipping jokes here, but use your brain and know what's a joke and whats bashing. And if someone says something against your ship, laugh at it if it's smart or funny, or ignore because its bait. Kay, pumpkins?
Shipping can get intense and it's kinda died down though (for now)
You might have to post a few more jokes to bring this thread back to its purpose
When you came for jokes but all you found was war
What does Brick shit when he's scared?
Himself!
What's the difference between Brick and a skagzilla?
One is a hideous monster that feasts on the flesh of it's prey, the other is just a big skag.
What was the last thing that went through the bandit's head before he died?
Brick's fist.
I just missed you at you know where....
How does Moxxi get around?
She rides her Scooter (hahahaha....oh.....ewww)
Why is everyone on Pandora tan?
Cause no one likes Shade!!!!
Yeah, i didn't have enough time to catch up on 10 pages every day once school started hahaha
Okay you fuckers, stop it with the Rhyiona vs Rhysha no one gives a shit about which ship is better.
Edit: So I read through the argument and let me talk about those ships "not having chemistry"
At Rhysha: Have you ever heard of a love/hate dynamic? [Le gasp]
That's right kiddos, even though Rhys and Fiona call each other "lying Hyperion jackass" and "Scheming Pandoran scum" they can actually care about each other, and if Rhys is on Fiona's side the entire game, sometimes it can be actually shown, especially in ep 3.
Also the how small the number of people was who went with that romance in the end doesn't matter? Because at the end of the day, it’s there?
And let alone, even if it didn't have the option to become canon, it can still be shipped anyway? Did you forget that a ship doesn't have to become canon in order to ship it? That you can still enjoy those characters together anyway?
At Rhyiona: Are we forgetting the whole build up in ep 1 where Rhys can trust Sasha, just like he can with Fiona??? Which the pinky promise scene made it obvious that it was going to happen???? That it showed chemistry from ep 1????? That it wasn't pulled out of nowhere?????
Let alone the game allows you to chose whether or not you want that romance at the end of it? So you're not forced into it? That's why Telltale came up with the two beautiful options to say your just friends or that you like someone else.
And are both of you forgetting that you have those options so if season 2 ever get's made Rhys would be with one of them?
I really couldn't care if this adding more shit into the toilet, it needs to be said so both groups can learn to actually shut the fuck up. [Boom drops the mic into fucking shitsvile]
Edit: shit i read through the posts. Sorry for being a dumb shit.
Lol,WTF is happening here?
Seriously, the game ended 3 months ago and you're still fighting?Jeez
Idk I had a beautiful dram of a thread where people could create and/or share Borderlands themed jokes. And you guys crushed it into dust. I hope you're happy.
Well next time let's just not bring each others ships up and hopefully it won't turn into another "my ships better than yours".