Empty Humans [Character submission open]

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  • it's the 16th :)

    .

  • edited July 2016

    I finished my characters, all of em. Here a little 'sneak peak' without revealing too much about them. Their theme music and nicknames (if they got any) gives you a taste of their 'flavor'. I'm also revealing I made 3 of them villains so the story doesn't lack any.

    Billy

    The Necromancer (use speed 1.25)

    Raptor Alpha

    Adam

    Black Hand

    Reinhard

    Mad Hatter

    Starlight Princess

    edit: updated so latest forum coding works

    joriandrake posted: »

    it's the 16th

  • Hey everyone, first of all I'm so so sorry about not uploading. I tried so hard to get the next part to you quickly but the last few days have been hell on earth, to the point that I've had no time from 4 in the morning to 11 at night. The stress is real right now, I have 2 computer exams and a grade 7 piano exam to get to and that's only tomorrow! I hope you can forgive me, this has been the most stressful week of my life but luckily it all ends Thursday and I can get the next part out after that :3

  • edited July 2016

    I'm just glad you're well.

    I feel your pain, hate to think I would ever have to go back to school, wouldn't take your place if my life depended on it. XD

    mellofox28 posted: »

    Hey everyone, first of all I'm so so sorry about not uploading. I tried so hard to get the next part to you quickly but the last few days ha

  • It's fine. :) There's no rush.

    mellofox28 posted: »

    Hey everyone, first of all I'm so so sorry about not uploading. I tried so hard to get the next part to you quickly but the last few days ha

  • Take your time and come back when you can! ;-)

    mellofox28 posted: »

    Hey everyone, first of all I'm so so sorry about not uploading. I tried so hard to get the next part to you quickly but the last few days ha

  • edited July 2016

    Can someone tell me if the US exams time is soon over or if no, circa what date is it?

    edit: PMs work!

  • Chapter 1

    Part 1- Opposite lives


    Jane Rayner- 13th September 2016


    Bang Bang Bang

    Jane awoke to loud knocks echoing throughout her apartment. Her brown eyes flew shut when they saw the light seeping in through the outside window, illuminating her short, ice blonde hair in sunlight. The banging on the door made the banging in her head seem worse than ever. Last night must have been pretty bad she thought, grinning to herself. Jane was way too used to hangovers by now.

    Her eyes reluctantly opened again and settled on the digital clock resting on her bedside table. It read 7:31, which was way too early for anyone to be calling. Well, anyone but those lackeys anyway. Jane felt her eyelids begin to fall. All she needed was five more minutes...

    ‘JANE!’ A voice yelled from outside. The banging became more aggressive.

    ‘IM UP!’ Jane shouted. She swung herself out of bed and opened the door to her apartment. Standing in the doorframe was a tall, white man who wore a suit and a massive smile.

    ‘What do you want?' Jane said sarcastically, she knew all too well what this man was here for.

    ‘I’ll cut to the chase, Jane’ he said, his posh accent making her cringe. ‘You know why I’m here, and this time your father won’t take no for an answer.’ He opened a briefcase filled with $100 bills. ‘He’s willing to offer you $3,000,000 to come back to the company, a generous offer I’m sure.’

    Jane looked the man up and down. ‘No. Tell my father he can stick his generosity...’

    ‘He really wants to have you...’ the man spoke. She could tell he wasn’t expecting her to turn that much money down.

    ‘If he wanted anything from me he would see me himself, but that hasn’t happened since I was 18, has it?’ All she got was silence in response. ‘I’m done with him; he should be done with me too.’ Jane backed up and slammed the door, hitting the man in the face.

    She put on a leather jacket and boots, ignoring the banging that was coming from outside. Ever since she had left home at 18, her father seemed desperate for her to go into the ‘family business’. Jane was never really a ‘business’ person. She loved her job as a mechanic; she could talk to actual people instead of robots like her father did.

    She slipped out the back door and climbed onto her motorcycle. She took off down the almost empty road, driving further and further away from her apartment. She could hear the birds chirping happily in the trees. She didn't hear the rumblings coming from the road leading out of the forest.

    Jane saw the truck pull out in front of the just in time. She braked hard, the wheels screeching against the tarmac road.

    ‘You idiot!’ She yelled. ‘You could have killed me!’.

    The driver stuck he head out the window. Jane could see he was a large man, blonde with a seemingly broken nose that appeared to be bleeding. He didn't look too friendly.

    Jane watched as the truck sped off into the distance. It seemed strange that they would leave her at the side of the road instead of helping her. She didn't think too much of it, to her nothing seemed too strange anymore.


    Sally Matthews- 16th September 2016


    Sally waited in the alleyway, her eyes studying the bouncer that guarded the door to the smash club. The sight of him almost made her turn back, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. She knew what it was like to have her life in the hands of another person. If she left now, she didn't even want to think what would happen to whoever was trapped in there.

    She pulled her baseball hat over her dark green eyes and headed inside. The bouncer checked his list for the name she'd given him and parted to let her inside. She whispered a silent 'thank you' to Jamie, Sally knew he had to pull a lot of strings to get her in here, she owed it to him to pull this off.

    The smash club was an old scrapyard, hot with the smell of metal, alcohol and sweat. To the left was a large truck, guarded by yet another bouncer. To the right stood a podium. A large crowd gathered in the centre of the scrapyard around a circle. Sally began to weave her way through the crowd until she reached the centre of the ring.

    'What are we waiting for?' Sally asked a large man standing next to her. He turned and looked her up and down. She didn't like the way he looked at her, almost as if she wasn't human.

    'You're new here, ain't ya' he said, lighting up a cigarette. 'Ain't nothing happens 'til Alex gets here' he spat, blowing smoke in Sally's face. 'I know you want to see the skull-crushing as much as I do, but have a little patience darlin'. Sally had quite a few questions, but decided on the most important.

    'Who's Alex?' Sally asked. A sudden hush fell over the crowd. A girl walked up to the podium. She was wearing a bowler hat and held a microphone in her right hand. Two men stood behind her watching the crowd's every move.

    The man with the cigarette pointed up at the podium. 'That's her' he spoke.

    'People' Alex said, her voice echoing throughout the scrapyard. 'Strong, intelligent people. People used to be the smartest beings on earth. They could do anything, even build machines that can replicate humans almost exactly.' Sally felt a lump form in her throat, whatever this was it wasn't good.

    Alex continued. 'But these machines were different from us, better, more efficient. Because the don't feel. Pain. Love. Anger. These don't mean anything to an Imata.' The crowd stirred. 'So humans became inferior. You could train for 7 years to become a surgeon but by then you could turn any old imita into a brain surgeon in 7 seconds! Why waste time getting to know someone when company can be bought and paid for by a dolly?! The crowd yelled, the smell of beer and tobacco filling the room.

    'We are the hopeless, loveless, unemployed. We have had no control since machines set foot on this earth. I emplore you, take back control. Smash the machines!' Alex roared 'Who are you?'

    'We are people' The crowd yelled back. Cheers went up as two men were thrust into the centre of the ring. They looked almost polar opposites. One man was well groomed, dark-haired and wore a suit. The other was muscular with a large beard, blonde hair and a crowbar in his right hand. A silence fell over the crowd.

    The dark-haired man spoke. 'Hello. My model is DN24601. Would you like to bond with me as my primary user?' His voice was kind and charming, his was obviously an Imita.

    Sally felt an imidiate feeling of dread overcome her body. She saw what happened next almost in slow motion. The muscular man lodged the crowbar deep in the imita's skull and twisted hard. The imita fell to the floor, he was already dead before the man began pounding him with his fists. The crowd cheered, screaming at the man to punch him harder.

    Sally turned away, she couldn't bear to watch anymore. She barely even noticed the bouncer that was walking towards her.

    'Jenna Evans?' He said, placing a hand on her shoulder.

    'Yeah, that's me' Sally said, hoping that they didn't know why she was here. That was the name Jamie had given her. The bouncer looked down at his list and for a moment she thought her was going to take her to Alex.

    'You're up next'

    No choices for this part

  • Yay it continues! =)

    Can you access the PMs now? Will you write more today?

    mellofox28 posted: »

    Chapter 1 Part 1- Opposite lives Jane Rayner- 13th September 2016 Bang Bang Bang Jane awoke to loud knocks echoing throughou

  • Good to see you back! Really nice part.

    mellofox28 posted: »

    Chapter 1 Part 1- Opposite lives Jane Rayner- 13th September 2016 Bang Bang Bang Jane awoke to loud knocks echoing throughou

  • Awesome part! I love this fan-fic.

    mellofox28 posted: »

    Chapter 1 Part 1- Opposite lives Jane Rayner- 13th September 2016 Bang Bang Bang Jane awoke to loud knocks echoing throughou

  • Welcome back! I hope your exams worked out nicely and I am glad that this great story continues :)

    It was a nice part. I like these short introductions to the characters and in this part, I especially liked Sally's part, that one had a great atmosphere. These people are crazy, I really felt sorry for that poor Imita. Jane's part was nice as well, though I liked Sally's a bit more here, it feels like more happened there. That said, Jane sounds similarly interesting as a character, I'm curious what's up for her. Now I'm excited for the future parts!

    mellofox28 posted: »

    Chapter 1 Part 1- Opposite lives Jane Rayner- 13th September 2016 Bang Bang Bang Jane awoke to loud knocks echoing throughou

  • edited July 2016

    Can't access PMs yet but I plan on writing more tomorrow ;) Already have the beginning and choices for the next part, it will be up soon to make up for the long wait for this part!

    joriandrake posted: »

    Yay it continues! Can you access the PMs now? Will you write more today?

  • edited July 2016

    Great! Once you can, check our char discussion PM conversation

    edit: can you access that now? It should work for everyone atm

    mellofox28 posted: »

    Can't access PMs yet but I plan on writing more tomorrow Already have the beginning and choices for the next part, it will be up soon to make up for the long wait for this part!

  • Thanks, my exams worked out well, distinctions in both :)

    Glad you like it so far, I'm looking forward to developing all the characters a lot more in the future!

    Welcome back! I hope your exams worked out nicely and I am glad that this great story continues It was a nice part. I like these short i

  • Man... These people are harsh... Machines are people too.

    mellofox28 posted: »

    Chapter 1 Part 1- Opposite lives Jane Rayner- 13th September 2016 Bang Bang Bang Jane awoke to loud knocks echoing throughou

  • AWESOME! I've been so excited for this story to continue. Jane is just as I imagined her.

    Sally is great too. I really liked her part. Poor Model DN24601 :(
    I wonder what Sally's doing there.

    I have a question, do the imita's voices sound no different to that of a human?

    mellofox28 posted: »

    Chapter 1 Part 1- Opposite lives Jane Rayner- 13th September 2016 Bang Bang Bang Jane awoke to loud knocks echoing throughou

  • Glad you like both of them so far :)

    They don't sound different to human voices, what they say seems more robotic though. If,say, one wanted to disguise themselves as a human they would have no problem doing so :3

    AgentZ46 posted: »

    AWESOME! I've been so excited for this story to continue. Jane is just as I imagined her. Sally is great too. I really liked her part. Po

  • I think I just caught on to something from Jane's part! Both the truck and the guy in it are from Daniel's part. Remember, Daniel's part took place in a forrest when that group of guys with a truck grabbed Suki. Daniel managed to break a blonde man's nose.

  • edited August 2016

    yep

    AgentZ46 posted: »

    I think I just caught on to something from Jane's part! Both the truck and the guy in it are from Daniel's part. Remember, Daniel's part too

  • When the new part?

  • Right, we run a bit late here

    Chapter 1- All we have 11/07/2016-16/07/2016

    Mathea posted: »

    When the new part?

  • It was the one already posted, which was late as well :-p There is no timetable for another part.

    joriandrake posted: »

    Right, we run a bit late here Chapter 1- All we have 11/07/2016-16/07/2016

  • I thought all chapters have more than one part

    Mathea posted: »

    It was the one already posted, which was late as well :-p There is no timetable for another part.

  • I don't think all chapter would be completed within 5days. This is why I think chapter in that case means a part for author.

    joriandrake posted: »

    I thought all chapters have more than one part

  • waiting intensifies

    g

  • This is still happening right? Please say yes, I love this story!

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