Omid the Ruins (S2 E4 written by the fanfic writers)
(The group is walking across a snowy plain. Kenny, Clemmy, Rebbeca, the baby, Luke, and all those other dumb pieces of h £ck have recently left the observatory.)
Kenny: (Fearlessly striding ahead) It's okay, everybody is going to make it to Wellington alright!
Clem: Hooray! I shouldn't swear because I'm just a little girl!
Luke: That's right. (The two lock eyes and start making out.)
Clem: Uh- oh! I think I'm pregnant! (Clem's stomach swells up to 8 times its normal size.)
Luke: (Smiling) We'll call him Nick.
Jane: Wow, I'm so happy for you guys! And sorry, I hate to be a bother, but I haven't been fed in the last two weeks. I was wondering if I could lick the crumbs off Kenny's magical mustache?
Everyone: (Facepalms) (In harmony) SHUT UP JANE!
(The sound of Jane being an idiot attracts that one Hitler kid named Arno or something and three armed guards. They pop up out of the snow, surrounding the group.)
Arno or Something: Я злой! Посмотрите интерактивную сюжетную линию Малахита! Самостоятельная реклама! Bwaaa!
Clem: I think he's trying to communicate something to us in badly translated Russian!
Kenny: (Takes out bald eagle sword) Don't worry, everyone! I will fight off these Commi's because I- (An American Flag appears behind Kenny. The national anthem is heard. Clem and Luke can be seen soluting in the background) am a true American Hero.
(Kenny charges the Communists. They shoot off nine bullets, all of which go through Jane. Kenny decapitated three of them, but he and the other one end up wrestling in the snow. Just as it looks like the Commi is about to win, a gunshot blasts through his head.)
Kenny: (Looks up, normal eye and robotic eye he got from a witchdoctor gleaming) Can it really be-
Omid: (Has b@d d0nk3y beard) I got lucky.
(Everyone runs up to hug Omid, even though Clem and Kenny should be the only ones who recognize him. )
Everyone: Omid!
Omid: (Laughs joyfully) Alright, alright.
Voice from distance: I'm back too.
(The group turns around and sees Christa standing there with Lilly and Molly.)
Christa: I somehow survived all those rapists in the woods and met up with Lilly and Molly. Now we are an amazon trifecta! (The three of them pose.)
Omid: (Walks up and begins smooching on Christa) I missed you.
Omid Jr: (Rises from the dead and hugs his parents) I wuv u guys.
Entire group: Awww...
Kenny: Wait, how do we know we can trust Lilly again? Didn't she kill Carly and steal the RV (because my canon is the only one that happened)?
Lilly: I'm weary sowwy....
Kenny: Well, that's good enough for me!
Molly: But wait, guys! I have good news! Wellington is just down the road, and it has all the dead or missing characters living in it! Even Lee and the 400 Days characters!
Clem: The 400 days characters! Even Leland?!
Molly: ESPECIALLY Leland.
Clem: Well, what are we waiting for?
Kenny: Here let me go kill Jane again and Rebecca so we can keep her baby (pulls shotgun out of nowhere).
(The entire group starts doing a silly dance. Clem and Omid look at each other.)
Clem and Omid: (In unison) Well, if you can't beat them-
(The both start dancing as the laughtrack plays and the credits roll.)
THE END
(Don't be offended pls it's just satire.)
Comments
I know I just wrote this today and it hardly has any views, but in my opinion, this is the best piece of fiction I have ever written.
. I'm already working on a sequel called "No Going Black" (yes, you read that correctly).
Should take me about -6 minutes to write but I'm lazy so I will probably be fifteen years. No one cares about "Omid the Ruins" anyway.
