How nice for you, considering you have the money for it. There's a belief that those who cling to life, forcing their way out of the circle without accepting fate, are an abomination and the most disgusting kind of creature.
the believe that anybody is an abomination is discusting
the believe that anybody is an abomination is discusting
Maybe. But it's what I think I am. I'm right there with Daishi. I really only consider myself an abomination, though. You can think I'm disgusting. I don't care because you're right. I don't belong here. Frankly I wish I was never born. Now that I have been, I'm just scrambling to keep going and going and going. I will spend my last moments screaming, choking, and crying. I will claw at the air and at my body trying to get it to keep going. I will spit and curse and maybe piss myself in fear. Does that SOUND NATURAL TO YOU? OR ABOMINABLE? Life is just a tease.
What the fuck do we have to offer anything but ourselves? Our knowledge is a joke. We won't last forever. And someday our knowledge will be gone, and will have done nothing for anyone. We are futile. A horrifying thing. There is more comfort and meaning in a shortened lifespan than a lengthened one. Then we can do the most to make other's lives better within a short span of time without having to stick around to see them go first. Without delusions of grandeur. Without delusions of being more. And then we can make room for someone else.
I'm useless. I can't help anyone. I can't save the people I love from death. I get to watch them all be afraid and in pain then die. HOORAY. I've said this all before. I can't do anything except be afraid. That's the extent of my human power. I don't like it.
Everywhere it's been the same... feeling...
Like I'm outside in the rain... wheeling...
Free, to try and find a game... dealing...
Cards for sorrow, cards for pain
Cause I've seen BLUE SKIES
Through the tears
In my eyes
And I realize... I'm going home.
Amazing. You fraidycats are too afraid to even have a philosophical discussion because I ask hard questions. This is why I never have a serious discussion with anybody. Nobody wants to discuss those questions and nobody is smart enough to have any answers for them.
I'm scared of death. Absolutely terrified of it, and if I even remotely think about it for a second, I become so depressed I want to curl into a corner and cry.
Partly it's because I can't bring myself to believe in anything that can't be proven, such as an afterlife, which means that I've accepted that once you die, that's it. There is no heaven or hell, there is no eternal rest, there's... nothing. You die, that's it. You cease to exist, and whatever conciousness you possess, be it a soul, a spirit, whatever... it just stops being a thing.
Partly it's because I have come to accept that, no matter what I do in the future, I will have absolutely no impact on anything. Nothing I do will have any significance. History will not remember me, people won't remember me... I will have been just another worthless waste of existence who set his expectations low and failed to achieve even that.
Sometimes I'll get mad at something, anything, and it'll just lead to me breaking down and crying (hell, I can feel the tears coming even now). And I'll just curl up on the floor and sob like a little baby as I scream at how utterly meaningless and empty my life is. It's not happened since last year, but shit. I think it's gonna happen again now cause I'm talking about it. Yeah, here it comes. Fuck. Hit 'submit reply'. cmon, just hit it. just... HIT IT FUCK
EDIT: Shit, that was dark. Fuck.
Let me try and explain where the hell that came from.
Originally it was a reply to Fawful's calling out of people not wanting to... fuck, I don't even know what he wanted. Someone to debate with, or some shit like that.
So I started replying to him, and then I realized that my post had NOTHING to do with responding to him. In hindsight, I was kind of on the same "I can't do shit and it scares me" side he was... kind of. I think. I'm not thinking straight right now.
So I deleted the bit where I directly responded to him and left the rest of the post I'd written, then kept writing and it got kinda real at the end, echoing my actual, real thoughts at the time. Pushing myself to hit the Submit Reply button... really happened. Had to fight through the tears just to hit that thing and not lose everything I'd typed, because I'll be fucking DAMNED if I lose that shit. NO. It was REAL. THIS IS HOW I FEEL, AND TO HELL WITH WHAT OTHERS THINK.
I'm still in kind of a bad place right now, but I'm not blubbering and screaming FUCK at an empty house. Oh , no, wait - I can feel the tears bubbling under. Shit. That's this evening a complete fucking write-off then, isn't it.
But yeah. My life sucks, I fucking hate myself and I'm scared of dying. How are you?
Not as bad now - YouTube videos of cute kittens are remarkably uplifting - but I don't think I'll be feeling particularly chipper this weekend. CERTAINLY not up to recording footage of Earthworm Jim 3D. Dammit.
Not sure if anyone caught it, but I did add a bit to end of my last post. Not entirely sure why I felt the need to add that, but I did, so there. Still can't bring myself to read my actual post though, because I know it'll set me off again and quite frankly my floor isn't particularly comfortable.
But yeah. My life sucks, I fucking hate myself and I'm scared of dying. How are you?
The same. Just not afraid of dying.
Seeing what dementia does to people on a daily basis the last few months actually got rid of it. Now I'm scared of getting old and getting like that without knowing. Wait. I'm more afraid of noticing it.
i believe we give our own life meaning, which means there isn't necessarily a meaning of life, but we decide what we want to do in life and that is our own personal meaning of life, my personal meaning of life (if i can even come close to putting that in words) is to have more positive experiences than negative ones, to basically enjoy living (of course a positive experience is a subjective thing so it is hard to explain) but you can't enjoy living if you are dead so that is why i want to live forever
Ditto, Marsbar. Except that I'm on medication. I forgot to take it today. I should add that whenever I forget to take it tends to coincide almost exactly with when I go off on something or someone.
I wake up and I'm surrounded by people in pain, and I go to bed in pain. I go to a shrink, and instead of talking about anything I shut up and let him tell me what I think. Then my friends tell me they're going to help me, and then do absolutely nothing of worth at all. I'm fucking tired of being jerked around by literally everybody about this and there has to be SOMEBODY out there with more to add than "Jesus makes me feel happy lolololo".
I'll tell you what I want. I want people to be honest about life. I want people to actually discuss these things. I want to hear other views about life. Not just typical views. IN DEPTH, LONG, DETAILED views.
A lot of people are smart. I want them to act like it. There are answers somewhere. But humanity as a whole is more content to twiddle our cocks around instead of contemplating this. We should rename man and woman to Twiddlecock and Twiddletwat.
And I want everyone to stop acting like everything is fucking okay. It's not fucking okay. Fuck you, liars. And don't tell me you're going to help me, or things will get better, and then jerk off in my face while hooting like a chimpanzee. I'm going to think about this every day until I go back into the primordial ooze where I came from, and I want SOME MOTHERFUCKING HELP.
And if this post is overly vulgar, that's just because I'm fed up with this bullshit.
I still wonder why I existed in the first place, when so many better or more interesting potential lives, potential people, deserve to exist over my pathetic life. -_-
(Just for the sake of having a bigger impact than me. Hell even if it was Neo-Hitler who was next in line in me dad's bollocks, he'd at least DO SOMETHING. All I ever seem to do is dream.)
Ditto, Marsbar. Except that I'm on medication. I forgot to take it today. I should add that whenever I forget to take it tends to coincide almost exactly with when I go off on something or someone.
I wake up and I'm surrounded by people in pain, and I go to bed in pain. I go to a shrink, and instead of talking about anything I shut up and let him tell me what I think. Then my friends tell me they're going to help me, and then do absolutely nothing of worth at all. I'm fucking tired of being jerked around by literally everybody about this and there has to be SOMEBODY out there with more to add than "Jesus makes me feel happy lolololo".
I'll tell you what I want. I want people to be honest about life. I want people to actually discuss these things. I want to hear other views about life. Not just typical views. IN DEPTH, LONG, DETAILED views.
A lot of people are smart. I want them to act like it. There are answers somewhere. But humanity as a whole is more content to twiddle our cocks around instead of contemplating this. We should rename man and woman to Twiddlecock and Twiddletwat.
And I want everyone to stop acting like everything is fucking okay. It's not fucking okay. Fuck you, liars. And don't tell me you're going to help me, or things will get better, and then jerk off in my face while hooting like a chimpanzee. I'm going to think about this every day until I go back into the primordial ooze where I came from, and I want SOME MOTHERFUCKING HELP.
And if this post is overly vulgar, that's just because I'm fed up with this bullshit.
i think it is a lot easier to actually talk about these things rather than type them but i still think language doesn't even come close to actual thoughts, i want someone to invent a way for brains to communicate without words just thoughts i think that would be the only way two people could actually properly communicate what they actually mean.
for example i think enjoying yourself is just being totally selfish but not necessarily in a selfish way, meaning that helping/being kind to other people is selfish because you only do it because it makes you feel good and being a hindrance/being horrible to people will (eventually) make you feel bad, I'm not saying that i spend my life helping people in fact most of the time i would rather not have any impact on other peoples lives at all (it is less complicated that way) but if i can easily do something to help someone i will because it makes me happy.
see that needs a brain communication device, because it doesn't come close to my actual thoughts.
now i'm thinking why does making other people sad make me sad and why does making people happy make me happy, and i basically don't know which is stupid because it is me that thinks that.
what is happy? what is sad? i don't mean in a scientific way like body chemistry
And if this post is overly vulgar, that's just because I'm fed up with this bullshit.
It's somewhat worrying that not only did I GET what you said, but I AGREE with a lot of it (I don't mean that negatively towards you Fawful, it's more a reflection on how deep my depressive state is).
I should probably go see a shrink or something. That might be a good first step.
now i'm thinking why does making other people sad make me sad and why does making people happy make me happy, and i basically don't know which is stupid because it is me that thinks that.
what is happy? what is sad?
Aw fuck, don't make me actually think. I'm not in the mood for this.
Happy and Sad are two emotional responses humanity has chosen to label as such and apply pointlessly meaningless 'states' to in an attempt to make themselves feel like they've accomplished something.
Amazing. You fraidycats are too afraid to even have a philosophical discussion because I ask hard questions. This is why I never have a serious discussion with anybody. Nobody wants to discuss those questions and nobody is smart enough to have any answers for them.
Worthless.
Sorry, I was busy ruining promising young people's future careers by adhering to a draconian grading system. Still haven't finished yet, but I'm busy having a hard time motivating myself to continue.
And for your questions, I don't have answers. I'm just kind of an optimist in these circumstances. I never said that immortality meant you had to keep going on as the same person in the same body doing the same things. Maybe along with immortality would come a greater acceptance of change, where people try different things and explore all the possibilities of their potential?
Besides that, I tend to seek comfort in little things. We do things now to forward the greater human knowledge in the hopes that people in the future will be able to make use of it and continue to be people in the future. Sure, the human race might all die out in one fell swoop, but I'm not going to let one possibility dictate how I act now. Until the world actually ends, I'll just operate under the assumption that it intends to spin on and try to make sure that the next generation has slightly less crap to deal with.
It's weird, but even with death, I kinda feel fairly neutral about it. It's terrifying to look into the Abyss and most people try to fill it with visions of perfection (which I find kinda boring, really), but I take more comfort in the fact that when I die my body will slowly degrade back into component molecules and carry on in the system. Which would be pretty rad.
I'd also settle for being a fossile for future paleontologists to dig up, but it's really hard to find a good place to be buried for maximum fossilization. So stars it is. Technically, we're all made out of stars already. All our atoms were forged in the hearts of stars, which is pretty damn impressive when you think about being distantly related to a giant ball of flaming gas.
I dunno what else to say. It might be futile, it might not, but paralyzing oneself because of what may or may not be true becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
EDIT: I should also add that this is how I feel at this particular moment, mainly because I feel half dead after my whopping... three? hours of sleep. But I seriously hate worrying about things I can't affect, because that's a waste of my time. And when you have little enough time as it is, it's just not worth it to me to spend it all counting the seconds.
I find that being in constant fear of death is too time consuming to be worthwhile. Even the idea that life is too short to worry makes things too needlessly complicated. I just really don't care I guess. When I think about death, there's a slight uncomfortable idea that all of my memories will be lost to infinity, but I've come to terms with it by acknowledging it but not giving it too much regard. I can do what I want at my own pace and I'm happy with that. When I die, the great ongoing chemical reaction that is life will go on in its ever-changing way.
It is somewhat comforting to know in the sense that mistakes I make aren't going to haunt me forever though.
I'm a bit terrified of death. Like Marsden, I can't make myself believe (or disbelieve) in anything that can't be definitively proven. At best, I could try to force it, but I would know I was lying to myself. I don't necessarily believe that there's nothing after death, nor do I believe that there's something. My belief system boils down to "I don't know." Over the last year, I've thought several times about how I don't know if part of my mom still exists somewhere or if she's just gone. She would believe she's in Heaven, but of the many traits I inherited from her, her faith wasn't one of them, so I can't know if she was right. And that makes me feel like shit because it feels like it dishonors her.
But I continue on. Because even if there's nothing after death, and even if I never do anything to significantly contribute to the betterment of humanity after I'm gone, living a good life is still important to me for its own sake. If the sum of my life is nothing more than that my time on Earth was as pleasant as I could make it and that the people that knew me are better or happier for it, then that's enough for me.
That's basically my philosophy. Sorry if it doesn't help you, Fawful, but I don't have the answers any more than you do.
I do believe in Heaven and Hell. That’s why while I’m still alive, I have to do everything in my power to not go to Hell.
The way I see it, what’s the point of living if you don’t believe in anything? Something has to happen to you after you die, there’s can’t simply be oblivion. So, I believe in Heaven and Hell.
I once woke up in the middle of the night and saw a white translucent figure in my room. It glid over to my bookshelf and stood there for awhile in complete silence.
So I turned on my light.
Turns out it was my mom wearing a nightgown and looking for a book that I had in the middle of the night.
The way I see it, what’s the point of living if you don’t believe in anything? Something has to happen to you after you die, there’s can’t simply be oblivion.
Why? Why does there have to be a pre-defined reason? Define "anything" because unless you come across an individual with no literal conciousness, I doubt you'll find anyone who literally doesn't believe in anything. What about animals? Why do they persist without belief?
There is no need for a reason to live. We were thrust into this world whether we wanted to or not. What we make of this time is our own choice. Isn't that enough?
And ghosts? The best you can do is ghosts? Boy howdy.
I sometimes like to try and literally think of nothingness. It's an impossible task but it doesn't stop me trying.
As for death, I tend not to think about what happens to me but what the reaction of my family and friends could be if I died then and there. It's not pleasant, but at least I get the feeling that I'd be missed at least and that's something I suppose.
I've thought about suicide when I was 19. Man that's a stupid age. One thing I learned is that I really didn't want to kill myself, I just wanted to ask for help but as I was a stupid dumb teenager I did a stupid stunt that was just a cry for attention. Scared the hell out of my parents, and that shamed me more than the "attempt".
I can't say that I'm not frightened of dying but the effect on other people worries me more.
I once woke up in the middle of the night and saw a white translucent figure in my room. It glid over to my bookshelf and stood there for awhile in complete silence.
So I turned on my light.
Turns out it was my mom wearing a nightgown and looking for a book that I had in the middle of the night.
I'm sorry I scared you, Marsden. Nobody but me freaks out on here, so I assumed I would bother no one. But as someone who has frequent panic attacks...like tonight on the way home with my fiance while pretending I was fine because she was driving home too tired to drive.....I rambled...I don't want to cause anyone that pain. I thought about that all day, sorry I said anything because it freaked you out.
I had to sit with my love the other night as she had a panic attack and I was helpless to do anything for her. How helpless can a man feel at that moment. I can't describe my grief and anger at reality itself that it had to be that way. I watched her on the floor in tears, shaking, and all I could do was hold her hand.
Maybe I believe in God...but I do not claim to believe in a loving God. But to me Hell exists for sure....it's the same as nothingness to me. It's being away from the ones you love for eternity, without existence. Forever separated: the ultimate tragedy. No happy endings. Whether or not there's a Heaven is just something I don't know about, but it seems implausible.
I like the way Alcore looks at things. We're all Star Children. That sounds cool. I'm going to cry myself to sleep now.
I had to sit with my love the other night as she had a panic attack and I was helpless to do anything for her. How helpless can a man feel at that moment. I can't describe my grief and anger at reality itself that it had to be that way. I watched her on the floor in tears, shaking, and all I could do was hold her hand.
You're not helpless. Hold her, rock her gently, encourage her to breathe, tell her she's safe, and everything is going to be all right. Over and over. It helps.
I'm sorry I scared you, Marsden. Nobody but me freaks out on here, so I assumed I would bother no one. But as someone who has frequent panic attacks...like tonight on the way home with my fiance while pretending I was fine because she was driving home too tired to drive.....I rambled...I don't want to cause anyone that pain. I thought about that all day, sorry I said anything because it freaked you out.
Don't worry about it. I get that way sometimes. It wasn't you at all, it could have been anything. Hell, I had one of my states triggered because I couldn't tie my hair back properly. I am a mess. Helps to share it though, even if I can't go back and read it myself. *sigh*
For future reference though - I am never responding to anything you say ever again.
Random thought of the day - that feeling you get when you orgasm. I want that to last longer than 5 seconds. Hell, I want anything else in the world to feel as good as that. WHY DOESN'T ANYTHING?
Random thought of the day - that feeling you get when you orgasm. I want that to last longer than 5 seconds. Hell, I want anything else in the world to feel as good as that. WHY DOESN'T ANYTHING?
cocaine :cool:
im not actually endorsing cocaine please dont do it
Comments
the believe that anybody is an abomination is discusting
What about people like Hitler and Kim Jong Un.
Maybe. But it's what I think I am. I'm right there with Daishi. I really only consider myself an abomination, though. You can think I'm disgusting. I don't care because you're right. I don't belong here. Frankly I wish I was never born. Now that I have been, I'm just scrambling to keep going and going and going. I will spend my last moments screaming, choking, and crying. I will claw at the air and at my body trying to get it to keep going. I will spit and curse and maybe piss myself in fear. Does that SOUND NATURAL TO YOU? OR ABOMINABLE? Life is just a tease.
What the fuck do we have to offer anything but ourselves? Our knowledge is a joke. We won't last forever. And someday our knowledge will be gone, and will have done nothing for anyone. We are futile. A horrifying thing. There is more comfort and meaning in a shortened lifespan than a lengthened one. Then we can do the most to make other's lives better within a short span of time without having to stick around to see them go first. Without delusions of grandeur. Without delusions of being more. And then we can make room for someone else.
I'm useless. I can't help anyone. I can't save the people I love from death. I get to watch them all be afraid and in pain then die. HOORAY. I've said this all before. I can't do anything except be afraid. That's the extent of my human power. I don't like it.
Everywhere it's been the same... feeling...
Like I'm outside in the rain... wheeling...
Free, to try and find a game... dealing...
Cards for sorrow, cards for pain
Cause I've seen BLUE SKIES
Through the tears
In my eyes
And I realize... I'm going home.
Worthless.
Partly it's because I can't bring myself to believe in anything that can't be proven, such as an afterlife, which means that I've accepted that once you die, that's it. There is no heaven or hell, there is no eternal rest, there's... nothing. You die, that's it. You cease to exist, and whatever conciousness you possess, be it a soul, a spirit, whatever... it just stops being a thing.
Partly it's because I have come to accept that, no matter what I do in the future, I will have absolutely no impact on anything. Nothing I do will have any significance. History will not remember me, people won't remember me... I will have been just another worthless waste of existence who set his expectations low and failed to achieve even that.
Sometimes I'll get mad at something, anything, and it'll just lead to me breaking down and crying (hell, I can feel the tears coming even now). And I'll just curl up on the floor and sob like a little baby as I scream at how utterly meaningless and empty my life is. It's not happened since last year, but shit. I think it's gonna happen again now cause I'm talking about it. Yeah, here it comes. Fuck. Hit 'submit reply'. cmon, just hit it. just... HIT IT FUCK
EDIT: Shit, that was dark. Fuck.
Let me try and explain where the hell that came from.
Originally it was a reply to Fawful's calling out of people not wanting to... fuck, I don't even know what he wanted. Someone to debate with, or some shit like that.
So I started replying to him, and then I realized that my post had NOTHING to do with responding to him. In hindsight, I was kind of on the same "I can't do shit and it scares me" side he was... kind of. I think. I'm not thinking straight right now.
So I deleted the bit where I directly responded to him and left the rest of the post I'd written, then kept writing and it got kinda real at the end, echoing my actual, real thoughts at the time. Pushing myself to hit the Submit Reply button... really happened. Had to fight through the tears just to hit that thing and not lose everything I'd typed, because I'll be fucking DAMNED if I lose that shit. NO. It was REAL. THIS IS HOW I FEEL, AND TO HELL WITH WHAT OTHERS THINK.
I'm still in kind of a bad place right now, but I'm not blubbering and screaming FUCK at an empty house. Oh , no, wait - I can feel the tears bubbling under. Shit. That's this evening a complete fucking write-off then, isn't it.
But yeah. My life sucks, I fucking hate myself and I'm scared of dying. How are you?
Not as bad now - YouTube videos of cute kittens are remarkably uplifting - but I don't think I'll be feeling particularly chipper this weekend. CERTAINLY not up to recording footage of Earthworm Jim 3D. Dammit.
Not sure if anyone caught it, but I did add a bit to end of my last post. Not entirely sure why I felt the need to add that, but I did, so there. Still can't bring myself to read my actual post though, because I know it'll set me off again and quite frankly my floor isn't particularly comfortable.
The same. Just not afraid of dying.
Seeing what dementia does to people on a daily basis the last few months actually got rid of it. Now I'm scared of getting old and getting like that without knowing. Wait. I'm more afraid of noticing it.
I wake up and I'm surrounded by people in pain, and I go to bed in pain. I go to a shrink, and instead of talking about anything I shut up and let him tell me what I think. Then my friends tell me they're going to help me, and then do absolutely nothing of worth at all. I'm fucking tired of being jerked around by literally everybody about this and there has to be SOMEBODY out there with more to add than "Jesus makes me feel happy lolololo".
I'll tell you what I want. I want people to be honest about life. I want people to actually discuss these things. I want to hear other views about life. Not just typical views. IN DEPTH, LONG, DETAILED views.
A lot of people are smart. I want them to act like it. There are answers somewhere. But humanity as a whole is more content to twiddle our cocks around instead of contemplating this. We should rename man and woman to Twiddlecock and Twiddletwat.
And I want everyone to stop acting like everything is fucking okay. It's not fucking okay. Fuck you, liars. And don't tell me you're going to help me, or things will get better, and then jerk off in my face while hooting like a chimpanzee. I'm going to think about this every day until I go back into the primordial ooze where I came from, and I want SOME MOTHERFUCKING HELP.
And if this post is overly vulgar, that's just because I'm fed up with this bullshit.
(Just for the sake of having a bigger impact than me. Hell even if it was Neo-Hitler who was next in line in me dad's bollocks, he'd at least DO SOMETHING. All I ever seem to do is dream.)
i think it is a lot easier to actually talk about these things rather than type them but i still think language doesn't even come close to actual thoughts, i want someone to invent a way for brains to communicate without words just thoughts i think that would be the only way two people could actually properly communicate what they actually mean.
for example i think enjoying yourself is just being totally selfish but not necessarily in a selfish way, meaning that helping/being kind to other people is selfish because you only do it because it makes you feel good and being a hindrance/being horrible to people will (eventually) make you feel bad, I'm not saying that i spend my life helping people in fact most of the time i would rather not have any impact on other peoples lives at all (it is less complicated that way) but if i can easily do something to help someone i will because it makes me happy.
see that needs a brain communication device, because it doesn't come close to my actual thoughts.
now i'm thinking why does making other people sad make me sad and why does making people happy make me happy, and i basically don't know which is stupid because it is me that thinks that.
what is happy? what is sad? i don't mean in a scientific way like body chemistry
I should probably go see a shrink or something. That might be a good first step. I'm fundamentally against a brain communication device, if only because of what coolsome could inflict upon the world.
Happy and Sad are two emotional responses humanity has chosen to label as such and apply pointlessly meaningless 'states' to in an attempt to make themselves feel like they've accomplished something.
Sorry, I was busy ruining promising young people's future careers by adhering to a draconian grading system. Still haven't finished yet, but I'm busy having a hard time motivating myself to continue.
And for your questions, I don't have answers. I'm just kind of an optimist in these circumstances. I never said that immortality meant you had to keep going on as the same person in the same body doing the same things. Maybe along with immortality would come a greater acceptance of change, where people try different things and explore all the possibilities of their potential?
Besides that, I tend to seek comfort in little things. We do things now to forward the greater human knowledge in the hopes that people in the future will be able to make use of it and continue to be people in the future. Sure, the human race might all die out in one fell swoop, but I'm not going to let one possibility dictate how I act now. Until the world actually ends, I'll just operate under the assumption that it intends to spin on and try to make sure that the next generation has slightly less crap to deal with.
It's weird, but even with death, I kinda feel fairly neutral about it. It's terrifying to look into the Abyss and most people try to fill it with visions of perfection (which I find kinda boring, really), but I take more comfort in the fact that when I die my body will slowly degrade back into component molecules and carry on in the system. Which would be pretty rad.
I'd also settle for being a fossile for future paleontologists to dig up, but it's really hard to find a good place to be buried for maximum fossilization. So stars it is. Technically, we're all made out of stars already. All our atoms were forged in the hearts of stars, which is pretty damn impressive when you think about being distantly related to a giant ball of flaming gas.
I dunno what else to say. It might be futile, it might not, but paralyzing oneself because of what may or may not be true becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
EDIT: I should also add that this is how I feel at this particular moment, mainly because I feel half dead after my whopping... three? hours of sleep. But I seriously hate worrying about things I can't affect, because that's a waste of my time. And when you have little enough time as it is, it's just not worth it to me to spend it all counting the seconds.
It is somewhat comforting to know in the sense that mistakes I make aren't going to haunt me forever though.
But I continue on. Because even if there's nothing after death, and even if I never do anything to significantly contribute to the betterment of humanity after I'm gone, living a good life is still important to me for its own sake. If the sum of my life is nothing more than that my time on Earth was as pleasant as I could make it and that the people that knew me are better or happier for it, then that's enough for me.
That's basically my philosophy. Sorry if it doesn't help you, Fawful, but I don't have the answers any more than you do.
The way I see it, what’s the point of living if you don’t believe in anything? Something has to happen to you after you die, there’s can’t simply be oblivion. So, I believe in Heaven and Hell.
I mean, how do you account for ghosts?
You 'pretend' they don't exist.
So I turned on my light.
Turns out it was my mom wearing a nightgown and looking for a book that I had in the middle of the night.
I don't believe in ghosts.
Aliens.
Why? Why does there have to be a pre-defined reason? Define "anything" because unless you come across an individual with no literal conciousness, I doubt you'll find anyone who literally doesn't believe in anything. What about animals? Why do they persist without belief?
There is no need for a reason to live. We were thrust into this world whether we wanted to or not. What we make of this time is our own choice. Isn't that enough?
And ghosts? The best you can do is ghosts? Boy howdy.
As for death, I tend not to think about what happens to me but what the reaction of my family and friends could be if I died then and there. It's not pleasant, but at least I get the feeling that I'd be missed at least and that's something I suppose.
I've thought about suicide when I was 19. Man that's a stupid age. One thing I learned is that I really didn't want to kill myself, I just wanted to ask for help but as I was a stupid dumb teenager I did a stupid stunt that was just a cry for attention. Scared the hell out of my parents, and that shamed me more than the "attempt".
I can't say that I'm not frightened of dying but the effect on other people worries me more.
I do. Seen some weird shit.
I had to sit with my love the other night as she had a panic attack and I was helpless to do anything for her. How helpless can a man feel at that moment. I can't describe my grief and anger at reality itself that it had to be that way. I watched her on the floor in tears, shaking, and all I could do was hold her hand.
Maybe I believe in God...but I do not claim to believe in a loving God. But to me Hell exists for sure....it's the same as nothingness to me. It's being away from the ones you love for eternity, without existence. Forever separated: the ultimate tragedy. No happy endings. Whether or not there's a Heaven is just something I don't know about, but it seems implausible.
I like the way Alcore looks at things. We're all Star Children. That sounds cool. I'm going to cry myself to sleep now.
You're not helpless. Hold her, rock her gently, encourage her to breathe, tell her she's safe, and everything is going to be all right. Over and over. It helps.
For future reference though - I am never responding to anything you say ever again.
Random thought of the day - that feeling you get when you orgasm. I want that to last longer than 5 seconds. Hell, I want anything else in the world to feel as good as that. WHY DOESN'T ANYTHING?
Jizz, jizz everywhere!!!
Aziz Ansari.
If I said that I'd probably get another NSFW ban.
Chocolate.
Straight to my that girl's heart for me, mmm hmm
Cupid, please hear my cry and let your arrow fly
Straight to that girl's heart for me, oh yeah
Now I don't mean to bother you but I'm in distress
There's danger of me losin' all of my happiness
For I love a girl who don't know I exist
And this you can fix
So Cupid, draw back your bow and let your arrow go
Straight to my lover's heart for me, nobody but me
Cupid, please hear my cry and let your arrow fly
Straight to my lover's heart for me
Now Cupid, if your arrow make a love storm for me
I promise I will love her until eternity
I know between the two of us her heart we can steal
Help me if you will
So Cupid, draw back your bow and let your arrow go
Straight to my lover's heart for me, nobody but me
Cupid, please hear my cry and let your arrow fly
Straight to my lover's heart for me
Now Cupid, don't you hear me
Callin' you, I need you
Cupid, help me
I need you
Cupid, don't fail me
-DJ Fawful
Why haven't I heard of him before? He's a comedy genius!
Also Coolsome's new house is completed now:
http://www.scmp.com/news/china/article/1217819/internet-lights-new-peoples-daily-hq-erected
Soo thats the building Ted Mosby's boss wanted him to make.
cocaine :cool: