I am making a special request.
If no one continues the story in the next two hours, I would like to write the final post of episode 4. I kn… moreow it has just been my turn, but the story is at a stop due to the recent arguing among contributors. And I would love to get the ball rolling again.
We (Or at least I) won't judge you because of what you write, I am actually very interested in what other people, including you, are going to write. If you have come up with something and feel like writing I say do it. I won't tell you it's horrible or make you feel like shit, I will give you constructive criticism so you can learn from your ''mistakes''.
Do it, I'm not writing because I have no idea what to write next, and knowing people around here, somebody will argue against it and make me f… moreeel like shit. It's almost as if you can't write without people arguing.
I agree that we stop, but for the last time.
THIS IS THE WALKING DEAD
People die
Stop arguing.
So yeah... If you all don't mind, I am now going to write the last post of this episode. Although... I will give you ten minutes to shout: OBJECTION! Which will make me reconsider it, if you have a valid point of course.
EDIT: I will be back in ten minutes, expect an epic post when I finally start writing.
So yeah... If you all don't mind, I am now going to write the last post of this episode. Although... I will give you ten minutes to shout: OBJ… moreECTION! Which will make me reconsider it, if you have a valid point of course.
EDIT: I will be back in ten minutes, expect an epic post when I finally start writing.
I understand. To be honest I just want to get the story going again because it seems like no one else will. I might write another bit, but I'm not so sure anymore.
I understand. To be honest I just want to get the story going again because it seems like no one else will. I might write another bit, but I'm not so sure anymore.
Well... That's one of the reasons why I want to end the episode right here, it gives us closure and it could give us some time to sort this whole mess out.
Well... That's one of the reasons why I want to end the episode right here, it gives us closure and it could give us some time to sort this whole mess out.
Bryan who was still very new to Pascucci says,"He doesn't want you to do it. You should stay.". Pascucci sighs. "He's my friend. If you had a friend you would do the same.". Jeremy stays silent and A minute later Pascucci closes the door behind him.
Should I walk, or try to find him driving the truck? Pascucci decides to walk, he still has a chance of following Kenny's tracks before the rain washes them out. Pascucci goes over to Kenny's window and notices that was left open, which means this is where he must have gotten out.
He then follows the small footprints that weren't washed out from the rain. He had been doing this for so long he had lost track of time. He had lost the footprints long ago. Eventually the sun came up so he has been out for the whole night. "Man i'm tired" Pascucci mumbles to himself.Then in the distance he heard a scream. Pascucci just knew it was Kenny.
He heard it to the left of him so Pascucci fights his sleepiness and runs as fast as he can. He had been running for a couple miles when he saw something that looked like an old building. He was about to yell Kenny's name, when he was knocked unconscious.
"
Pascucci who was drowsily waking up, heard the voice of a man he had never heard before. "Steve, He's awake." Pascucci, who was now more aware of his surroundings notices that he is in a small room. And that he is tied up to a pole. "Who the fuck...?" Now two men walk into his room. The first man was tall and was wearing shorts. The second man was also tall and had a doctor vest on, and had a nametag on that said "Steve."
Steve know speaks, "Now before i start asking you questions I want to let you know, that we aren't bad people. You see, we lost one of our members a month ago. And we have a little setup. Basically we need 7 members to our group. 7 is the lucky number. In fact we won't function without 7 members. We've had 6 for a little under a month and we have been this close to dieing on several occasions.
So what we're proposing is a spot for you in our group. And trust me, you can't say no. In fact you won't say no. Because if you do you face death." Pascucci stares right into the eyes of Steve and says, "Are you insane? You really think that if you have 7 members to your group, you guys have luck?" Steve who know looks surprisingly shocked, stares right back into Pascucci's eyes when they're interupted by a man who came running into the room. "Steve sir, two strangers just shot Dan in the head. But not before he axed one of em' in the leg." Steve who takes a minute to think, says, "All right you it's your first time helping the group. You and Frank are going to catch up to these two and your going to kill them." Pascucci has no time to argue and goes along with it and they hand him a gun. Pascucci and Frank now take off running to find the two strangers.
"So who do you think you are newbie? Think you can just talk to Steve that way? Man your lucky, if John hadn't came in there you'd be a dead man." Pascucci holds in is anger and says, "You know this isn't a permenant thing right? I have my own group i'm just looking for my friend." Frank takes mote of that. They had been looking for half an hour when they came across the two men.
Him and Frank were spying on them. Pascucci notices Kenny was being carried by a man. Pascucci doesn't say anthing so Frank doesn't get suspicious. Frank now says, "Alright on the count of 3 you shoot the guy who's holding the other." Pascucci nods but is planning on missing on purpose. "1" 2" "3" Pascucci shoots and misses. But then Jack turns around and shoots Pascucci in the shoulder and bolts off.
20-30 minutes before..."Hang in there Kenny, we just gotta get you back to our camp. Dammit, i can't believe I ran out of gas." Jack now puts Kenny over his shoulder and runs toward his camp. about 20 minutes later he notices bushes move so he starts to walk a little bit slower. He puts his gun in is and just to be safe. Thats when he hears a gunshot from right behind him. So Jack immediately shoots at the first person he sees and takes off. He shouldn't have gone to fast, now it feels as if Kenny weighs a ton. He eventually slows down to a very, slow walk when he notices he began to get surrounded by walkers. He shoots a couple and goes as fast as he can through the small path he made. But not before a walker takes a chomp into Kenny's leg.
10 minutes had passed as they make it back to the camp ''We're back, buddy.'', Jack says with an awkward smile. ''But you might want to take a look at your leg.''Kenny slowly turns his head around. His heart is racing and every breath feels like an eternity. He carefully pulls up the leg of his jeans and examines the wound. It's dark red and ragged around the edges. The bleeding has stopped but it still stings like a bee. ''What's the matter? It's not like I've been--'' the realization sends a chill down his spine. He holds his leg in the dim light of the setting sun and notices the contours of a set of bite-marks.
**Big decision. **
Cut off the leg.Or it has been to long.
Please continue.... MAJOR EDIT: please don't continue from where it was in my last post a lot of changes have been made.
You are right. I've been thinking about all this yesterday and I've slept a night over it. I just wanted to say that I didn't want to divide the community that's why I said I go, to prevent any other discussions and arguments. It wasn't the planning in particular that I was against: what really bugged me was the fact that people express their opinion on certain matters and the others instead of listening what others have to say just seal themselves up to any kind of neat debate - no interest in a common solution, no compromises, no care for objections. Where I come from this is seen as a very awful behavior. The personal insults towards the people who wanted to have an openminded and friendly discussion on this matter as well as an open exclude of certain persons are just the tip of the iceberg. This is definately no attitude to treat your fellas and if you think this is ok you are probably wrong in a forum. Hope this stays the only misstep.
Anyway, it really hurt to witness all this mess and I've been missing this thread so much. You mean a lot I wanna see you finish the chapter and @Lord_zasca can post his prewritten document and then I will pop in in episode 5 (I am not letting myself getting banned by another person just like that). Until then I will be following this thread.
Like @TheMissus said in her last post, why don't we just go on?
All we've been doing for the last 20+ posts is arguing, arguing and more ar… moreguing. And about what? People planning ahead? While I understand the fact that people are worried about others planning too much, I don't have the feeling it will affect our thread as a whole. Sure, we might have a few inconsistencies and unfitting plot-twists. But is adding a rule, or telling someone they can't plan ahead really going to solve anything?
People will always have an idea of where they want, or at least where they expect the story to go. And I think everyone can agree with me when I say that we have all had a plan at least once since they started contributing to this beautiful story we have created together.
This is all I have to say on the matter, will someone please continue?
First of all, I said that the settlement wasn't evil like the other ones, which is why Kenny and Jack came back to the settlement. Secondly, the guy named Steve you are describing always says 7 is the magic number so this is out of his character.Kenny and Jack were never 'escaping' fom the group.
I don't want to be cruel but your post barely holds any ground, and I would therefore recommend you to change it.
Bryan who was still very new to Pascucci says,"He doesn't want you to do it. You should stay.". Pascucci sighs. "He's my friend. If you had a … morefriend you would do the same.". Jeremy stays silent and A minute later Pascucci closes the door behind him.
Should I walk, or try to find him driving the truck? Pascucci decides to walk, he still has a chance of following Kenny's tracks before the rain washes them out. Pascucci goes over to Kenny's window and notices that was left open, which means this is where he must have gotten out.
He then follows the small footprints that weren't washed out from the rain. He had been doing this for so long he had lost track of time. He had lost the footprints long ago. Eventually the sun came up so he has been out for the whole night. "Man i'm tired" Pascucci mumbles to himself.Then in the distance he heard a scream. Pascucci just knew it was Kenny.
He heard it to the left of him so Pascucci fights his sleepi… [view original content]
Your entire post is full of inconsistencies.
First of all, I said that the settlement wasn't evil like the other ones, which is why Kenny a… morend Jack came back to the settlement. Secondly, the guy named Steve you are describing always says 7 is the magic number so this is out of his character.Kenny and Jack were never 'escaping' fom the group.
I don't want to be cruel but your post barely holds any ground, and I would therefore recommend you to change it.
Ohh... I thought you meant their group was similar to ours, except they were evil. And i thought tat Jack was kind of leaving his group so.... I guess i was very very very mistaken.
And the part about Steve, I purposely made it like that. Because it was Steve, Dan, guy 1, John, and his daughter, Jack, and it was Russel which comes out to 7.
Yes, I will make serious changes now that I know that.... thanks for informing me on my inconsistencies.
But one question... if they are not evil then who was the "Ax wielding maniac?
Your entire post is full of inconsistencies.
First of all, I said that the settlement wasn't evil like the other ones, which is why Kenny a… morend Jack came back to the settlement. Secondly, the guy named Steve you are describing always says 7 is the magic number so this is out of his character.Kenny and Jack were never 'escaping' fom the group.
I don't want to be cruel but your post barely holds any ground, and I would therefore recommend you to change it.
Ohh... I thought you meant their group was similar to ours, except they were evil. And i thought tat Jack was kind of leaving his group so....… more I guess i was very very very mistaken.
And the part about Steve, I purposely made it like that. Because it was Steve, Dan, guy 1, John, and his daughter, Jack, and it was Russel which comes out to 7.
Yes, I will make serious changes now that I know that.... thanks for informing me on my inconsistencies.
But one question... if they are not evil then who was the "Ax wielding maniac?
The axe-wielding maniac was a person they killed in the building they were looting for supplies. The supplies were lost when they were running away from the walkers.
I feel like I was a little harsh on you in my last post, because to be honest, your writing has dramatically improved. You just didn't understand what I wrote, which is completely understandable to me.
Ohh... I thought you meant their group was similar to ours, except they were evil. And i thought tat Jack was kind of leaving his group so....… more I guess i was very very very mistaken.
And the part about Steve, I purposely made it like that. Because it was Steve, Dan, guy 1, John, and his daughter, Jack, and it was Russel which comes out to 7.
Yes, I will make serious changes now that I know that.... thanks for informing me on my inconsistencies.
But one question... if they are not evil then who was the "Ax wielding maniac?
To be honest both the Kenny posts were a bit difficult to follow. I am going to read through both of them again, hope I'll see things clearer. It's probably because a lot of things happened very quick in a short time span as well as in a completely new environment.
Whoever writes next: If you feel like the Kenny arc is puzzling you can also go on with the cabin group.
The axe-wielding maniac was a person they killed in the building they were looting for supplies. The supplies were lost when they were running… more away from the walkers.
I feel like I was a little harsh on you in my last post, because to be honest, your writing has dramatically improved. You just didn't understand what I wrote, which is completely understandable to me.
The axe-wielding maniac was a person they killed in the building they were looting for supplies. The supplies were lost when they were running… more away from the walkers.
I feel like I was a little harsh on you in my last post, because to be honest, your writing has dramatically improved. You just didn't understand what I wrote, which is completely understandable to me.
Bryan who was still very new to Pascucci says,"He doesn't want you to do it. You should stay.". Pascucci sighs. "He's my friend. If you had a … morefriend you would do the same.". Jeremy stays silent and A minute later Pascucci closes the door behind him.
Should I walk, or try to find him driving the truck? Pascucci decides to walk, he still has a chance of following Kenny's tracks before the rain washes them out. Pascucci goes over to Kenny's window and notices that was left open, which means this is where he must have gotten out.
He then follows the small footprints that weren't washed out from the rain. He had been doing this for so long he had lost track of time. He had lost the footprints long ago. Eventually the sun came up so he has been out for the whole night. "Man i'm tired" Pascucci mumbles to himself.Then in the distance he heard a scream. Pascucci just knew it was Kenny.
He heard it to the left of him so Pascucci fights his sleepi… [view original content]
I had to edit my latest post due to story inconsistency. See it on page 35, the Melody-Jeremy-are-fishing post is meant. The difference is that Melody is actually joining Bryan in finding Jeremy instead of staying with the kids. Bryan gives Clementine the task to protect Danielle since he knows she is capable, being a good shot.
''Hang in there Kenny!'', Jack rushes his friend to the trailer housing the dwindling supply of medicine, where Elizabeth is waiting to operate on him. He puts him down on the metal table and stands back while Elizabeth and her team of assistants give Kenny a calming drug before proceeding to start cutting into his leg. ''This is going to get messy, thank god we've done this before.'' One of the assistants tells Jack his dad is looking for him, and that it is probably urgent. ''I needed some fresh air anyway.'', he says while gagging.
As he steps out of the white trailer he hears a whole chorus of yells coming from near one of the few cabins in the settlement. He swiftly jogs over to see what is causing this commotion. He pushes his way through the crowd. It seems like everyone in the town has gathered here, but why? As Jack makes his way to the front of the group he soon hears his dad screaming even louder than the entire crowd combined. As he finally pushes the last person out of his way he sees his father and his nemesis, Sarah, in a heated argument. Jack's dad has pulled up the sleeves of his army-jacket and his face has turned red out of anger. Sarah seems no different, although her feminine face doesn't look nearly as menacing as his dad's.
''What is going on here?'', Jack pushes his dad away from Sarah. ''I'll tell you what's going on here!'', spit flies out of his mouth as he shouts, ''This bitch over here has decided to kill our last pig!'' ''We needed the food!'', she starts screaming, ''Our people are starving and you're doing nothing to help them!'' ''Nothing!? I'm the one who has kept us alive for the last three months! If it wasn't for me all these people would have been dead by now, including yourself!''
Jack, who is sick of their constant arguments and the shouting people puts his fingers to his mouth and lets out a loud whistle. After a few seconds of silence he starts speaking, ''Why are we doing this?'', he takes a second to breath before going on, ''Why are we constantly arguing?'' Jack starts walking around the front of the cabin. ''We are supposed to help each other, love each other and we're supposed to keep each other safe. We're all in this together. But if we start turning on each other, then we're no better than the Biters lurking around our walls.''
Jack opens the door of the cabin and walks inside, slamming the door shut loudly. He takes a sip out of his water bottle and picks up one of the many books on his shelf before sitting down on the couch. He is amazed by the fact that after all this time there's still some books Jack hasn't read yet. He reads the first few pages, but the slowly increasing sound outside of the cabin distracts him too much. ''Why can't these people ever shut up.'', he mumbles to himself before taking another sip of his water.
And the part about Steve, I purposely made it like that. Because it was Steve, Dan, guy 1, John, and his daughter, Jack, and it was Russel which comes out to 7.
Just noticed this paragraph. Our story takes place like 9-11 months past the outbreak. Russels story took place on day 184 and at that time he had already left Steves group so I don't think it is possible for him to be there on day 240-330 - please correct me if I'm wrong
Ohh... I thought you meant their group was similar to ours, except they were evil. And i thought tat Jack was kind of leaving his group so....… more I guess i was very very very mistaken.
And the part about Steve, I purposely made it like that. Because it was Steve, Dan, guy 1, John, and his daughter, Jack, and it was Russel which comes out to 7.
Yes, I will make serious changes now that I know that.... thanks for informing me on my inconsistencies.
But one question... if they are not evil then who was the "Ax wielding maniac?
And the part about Steve, I purposely made it like that. Because it was Steve, Dan, guy 1, John, and his daughter, Jack, and it was Russel whi… morech comes out to 7.
Just noticed this paragraph. Our story takes place like 9-11 months past the outbreak. Russels story took place on day 184 and at that time he had already left Steves group so I don't think it is possible for him to be there on day 240-330 - please correct me if I'm wrong
Well what else can I say then I am really sorry that you feel secluded. But I am afraid you misunderstand: I actually said it was a good story with an interesting arc, I liked your writing style. It's just that you have brought 3 new characters at a point where we had to deal with other newbies.
Character developement is a very important rule - whenever we introduce somebody new we first have to make sure to set the individual character, the behaviour, talking style, appereance and so on. It needs time, actually plenty of posts until everybody gets who we are dealing with. Back then we just introduced 4 fresh new characters which we didn't know at all. Developing 4 new characters as well as the current group (makes 7 people) is plenty of work that needs time. If everybody in this thread brought a new character into the game we would never get forward. Does that sound this absurd? We love newcomers very much - but we all make mistakes. All of us, even our best writers make them. We don't blame or insult anyone, if anything we make constructive suggestions and as we highly appreciate it we've become very eager writers. We got lots of newcomers which have become an important part of this group.
Feel free to join. The most recent summary can be found on page 26, continue reading the story from there on, please. If you have any questions feel free to ask. Nobody has or will become mad.
''Hang in there Kenny!'', Jack rushes his friend to the trailer housing the dwindling supply of medicine, where Elizabeth is waiting to operat… moree on him. He puts him down on the metal table and stands back while Elizabeth and her team of assistants give Kenny a calming drug before proceeding to start cutting into his leg. ''This is going to get messy, thank god we've done this before.'' One of the assistants tells Jack his dad is looking for him, and that it is probably urgent. ''I needed some fresh air anyway.'', he says while gagging.
As he steps out of the white trailer he hears a whole chorus of yells coming from near one of the few cabins in the settlement. He swiftly jogs over to see what is causing this commotion. He pushes his way through the crowd. It seems like everyone in the town has gathered here, but why? As Jack makes his way to the front of the group he soon hears his dad screaming even louder than the entire crowd combined. As h… [view original content]
Comments
I don't feel like we can end NOW, i think a little later might just suit it.
I'm gonna write after someone has written about Kenny, i feel like i'm better with the cabin survivors :P.
We (Or at least I) won't judge you because of what you write, I am actually very interested in what other people, including you, are going to write. If you have come up with something and feel like writing I say do it. I won't tell you it's horrible or make you feel like shit, I will give you constructive criticism so you can learn from your ''mistakes''.
My voice over, lol I did a random clemintine impression.
Sorry I posted on my sisters account on youtube, I don't have a youtube.
Not bad
.
Thanks!
So yeah... If you all don't mind, I am now going to write the last post of this episode. Although... I will give you ten minutes to shout: OBJECTION! Which will make me reconsider it, if you have a valid point of course.
EDIT: I will be back in ten minutes, expect an epic post when I finally start writing.
OBJECTION!
Well, darnit. What is your reason behind this objection?
I don't think we can end it just yet, it's to soon.
Though i think you can certainly set the stage for it.
I understand. To be honest I just want to get the story going again because it seems like no one else will. I might write another bit, but I'm not so sure anymore.
Well things are a little awkward right now. I just don't know how to continue from the last post to.
Well... That's one of the reasons why I want to end the episode right here, it gives us closure and it could give us some time to sort this whole mess out.
Yea I think we should end the episode with one final post, then think about Episode 5.
Bryan who was still very new to Pascucci says,"He doesn't want you to do it. You should stay.". Pascucci sighs. "He's my friend. If you had a friend you would do the same.". Jeremy stays silent and A minute later Pascucci closes the door behind him.
Should I walk, or try to find him driving the truck? Pascucci decides to walk, he still has a chance of following Kenny's tracks before the rain washes them out. Pascucci goes over to Kenny's window and notices that was left open, which means this is where he must have gotten out.
He then follows the small footprints that weren't washed out from the rain. He had been doing this for so long he had lost track of time. He had lost the footprints long ago. Eventually the sun came up so he has been out for the whole night. "Man i'm tired" Pascucci mumbles to himself.Then in the distance he heard a scream. Pascucci just knew it was Kenny.
He heard it to the left of him so Pascucci fights his sleepiness and runs as fast as he can. He had been running for a couple miles when he saw something that looked like an old building. He was about to yell Kenny's name, when he was knocked unconscious.
"
Pascucci who was drowsily waking up, heard the voice of a man he had never heard before. "Steve, He's awake." Pascucci, who was now more aware of his surroundings notices that he is in a small room. And that he is tied up to a pole. "Who the fuck...?" Now two men walk into his room. The first man was tall and was wearing shorts. The second man was also tall and had a doctor vest on, and had a nametag on that said "Steve."
Steve know speaks, "Now before i start asking you questions I want to let you know, that we aren't bad people. You see, we lost one of our members a month ago. And we have a little setup. Basically we need 7 members to our group. 7 is the lucky number. In fact we won't function without 7 members. We've had 6 for a little under a month and we have been this close to dieing on several occasions.
So what we're proposing is a spot for you in our group. And trust me, you can't say no. In fact you won't say no. Because if you do you face death." Pascucci stares right into the eyes of Steve and says, "Are you insane? You really think that if you have 7 members to your group, you guys have luck?" Steve who know looks surprisingly shocked, stares right back into Pascucci's eyes when they're interupted by a man who came running into the room. "Steve sir, two strangers just shot Dan in the head. But not before he axed one of em' in the leg." Steve who takes a minute to think, says, "All right you it's your first time helping the group. You and Frank are going to catch up to these two and your going to kill them." Pascucci has no time to argue and goes along with it and they hand him a gun. Pascucci and Frank now take off running to find the two strangers.
"So who do you think you are newbie? Think you can just talk to Steve that way? Man your lucky, if John hadn't came in there you'd be a dead man." Pascucci holds in is anger and says, "You know this isn't a permenant thing right? I have my own group i'm just looking for my friend." Frank takes mote of that. They had been looking for half an hour when they came across the two men.
Him and Frank were spying on them. Pascucci notices Kenny was being carried by a man. Pascucci doesn't say anthing so Frank doesn't get suspicious. Frank now says, "Alright on the count of 3 you shoot the guy who's holding the other." Pascucci nods but is planning on missing on purpose. "1" 2" "3" Pascucci shoots and misses. But then Jack turns around and shoots Pascucci in the shoulder and bolts off.
20-30 minutes before..."Hang in there Kenny, we just gotta get you back to our camp. Dammit, i can't believe I ran out of gas." Jack now puts Kenny over his shoulder and runs toward his camp. about 20 minutes later he notices bushes move so he starts to walk a little bit slower. He puts his gun in is and just to be safe. Thats when he hears a gunshot from right behind him. So Jack immediately shoots at the first person he sees and takes off. He shouldn't have gone to fast, now it feels as if Kenny weighs a ton. He eventually slows down to a very, slow walk when he notices he began to get surrounded by walkers. He shoots a couple and goes as fast as he can through the small path he made. But not before a walker takes a chomp into Kenny's leg.
10 minutes had passed as they make it back to the camp ''We're back, buddy.'', Jack says with an awkward smile. ''But you might want to take a look at your leg.''Kenny slowly turns his head around. His heart is racing and every breath feels like an eternity. He carefully pulls up the leg of his jeans and examines the wound. It's dark red and ragged around the edges. The bleeding has stopped but it still stings like a bee. ''What's the matter? It's not like I've been--'' the realization sends a chill down his spine. He holds his leg in the dim light of the setting sun and notices the contours of a set of bite-marks.
**Big decision. **
Cut off the leg. Or it has been to long.
Please continue.... MAJOR EDIT: please don't continue from where it was in my last post a lot of changes have been made.
You are right. I've been thinking about all this yesterday and I've slept a night over it. I just wanted to say that I didn't want to divide the community that's why I said I go, to prevent any other discussions and arguments. It wasn't the planning in particular that I was against: what really bugged me was the fact that people express their opinion on certain matters and the others instead of listening what others have to say just seal themselves up to any kind of neat debate - no interest in a common solution, no compromises, no care for objections. Where I come from this is seen as a very awful behavior. The personal insults towards the people who wanted to have an openminded and friendly discussion on this matter as well as an open exclude of certain persons are just the tip of the iceberg. This is definately no attitude to treat your fellas and if you think this is ok you are probably wrong in a forum. Hope this stays the only misstep.
Anyway, it really hurt to witness all this mess and I've been missing this thread so much. You mean a lot
I wanna see you finish the chapter and @Lord_zasca can post his prewritten document and then I will pop in in episode 5 (I am not letting myself getting banned by another person just like that). Until then I will be following this thread.
Lol its funny how people have managed to actually form a good storyline, Interesting Keep it going !
Your entire post is full of inconsistencies.
First of all, I said that the settlement wasn't evil like the other ones, which is why Kenny and Jack came back to the settlement. Secondly, the guy named Steve you are describing always says 7 is the magic number so this is out of his character.Kenny and Jack were never 'escaping' fom the group.
I don't want to be cruel but your post barely holds any ground, and I would therefore recommend you to change it.
No. No this is good! almost perfect. just....dont kill both of them!
I really like the vibe of your voice
Thank you :')
Ohh... I thought you meant their group was similar to ours, except they were evil. And i thought tat Jack was kind of leaving his group so.... I guess i was very very very mistaken.
And the part about Steve, I purposely made it like that. Because it was Steve, Dan, guy 1, John, and his daughter, Jack, and it was Russel which comes out to 7.
Yes, I will make serious changes now that I know that.... thanks for informing me on my inconsistencies.
But one question... if they are not evil then who was the "Ax wielding maniac?
No worries - your writing has really improved
The axe-wielding maniac was a person they killed in the building they were looting for supplies. The supplies were lost when they were running away from the walkers.
I feel like I was a little harsh on you in my last post, because to be honest, your writing has dramatically improved. You just didn't understand what I wrote, which is completely understandable to me.
anybody?
To be honest both the Kenny posts were a bit difficult to follow. I am going to read through both of them again, hope I'll see things clearer. It's probably because a lot of things happened very quick in a short time span as well as in a completely new environment.
Whoever writes next: If you feel like the Kenny arc is puzzling you can also go on with the cabin group.
The latest post is probably going to be changed. Until then I am afraid we have to wait.
I just fixed the most recent post. so now somebody can go.
Thanks!
Eh well you can say that but me and a few other people feel that way. Please don't get mad at us but it feels secluded no offence.
Nah, you weren't harsh. You were just telling me what i did wrong. And i'm thankful for that.
And thank you.
Now that you changed it it's aweeesome! Everything makess sense now
I'd love to write, but i gotta study...
Ultimate Depression.
I had to edit my latest post due to story inconsistency. See it on page 35, the Melody-Jeremy-are-fishing post is meant. The difference is that Melody is actually joining Bryan in finding Jeremy instead of staying with the kids. Bryan gives Clementine the task to protect Danielle since he knows she is capable, being a good shot.
''Hang in there Kenny!'', Jack rushes his friend to the trailer housing the dwindling supply of medicine, where Elizabeth is waiting to operate on him. He puts him down on the metal table and stands back while Elizabeth and her team of assistants give Kenny a calming drug before proceeding to start cutting into his leg. ''This is going to get messy, thank god we've done this before.'' One of the assistants tells Jack his dad is looking for him, and that it is probably urgent. ''I needed some fresh air anyway.'', he says while gagging.
As he steps out of the white trailer he hears a whole chorus of yells coming from near one of the few cabins in the settlement. He swiftly jogs over to see what is causing this commotion. He pushes his way through the crowd. It seems like everyone in the town has gathered here, but why? As Jack makes his way to the front of the group he soon hears his dad screaming even louder than the entire crowd combined. As he finally pushes the last person out of his way he sees his father and his nemesis, Sarah, in a heated argument. Jack's dad has pulled up the sleeves of his army-jacket and his face has turned red out of anger. Sarah seems no different, although her feminine face doesn't look nearly as menacing as his dad's.
''What is going on here?'', Jack pushes his dad away from Sarah. ''I'll tell you what's going on here!'', spit flies out of his mouth as he shouts, ''This bitch over here has decided to kill our last pig!'' ''We needed the food!'', she starts screaming, ''Our people are starving and you're doing nothing to help them!'' ''Nothing!? I'm the one who has kept us alive for the last three months! If it wasn't for me all these people would have been dead by now, including yourself!''
Jack, who is sick of their constant arguments and the shouting people puts his fingers to his mouth and lets out a loud whistle. After a few seconds of silence he starts speaking, ''Why are we doing this?'', he takes a second to breath before going on, ''Why are we constantly arguing?'' Jack starts walking around the front of the cabin. ''We are supposed to help each other, love each other and we're supposed to keep each other safe. We're all in this together. But if we start turning on each other, then we're no better than the Biters lurking around our walls.''
Jack opens the door of the cabin and walks inside, slamming the door shut loudly. He takes a sip out of his water bottle and picks up one of the many books on his shelf before sitting down on the couch. He is amazed by the fact that after all this time there's still some books Jack hasn't read yet. He reads the first few pages, but the slowly increasing sound outside of the cabin distracts him too much. ''Why can't these people ever shut up.'', he mumbles to himself before taking another sip of his water.
I wonder how Kenny is doing...
Just noticed this paragraph. Our story takes place like 9-11 months past the outbreak. Russels story took place on day 184 and at that time he had already left Steves group so I don't think it is possible for him to be there on day 240-330 - please correct me if I'm wrong
I meant it was Russel, meaning after he left.
Well what else can I say then I am really sorry that you feel secluded. But I am afraid you misunderstand: I actually said it was a good story with an interesting arc, I liked your writing style. It's just that you have brought 3 new characters at a point where we had to deal with other newbies.
Character developement is a very important rule - whenever we introduce somebody new we first have to make sure to set the individual character, the behaviour, talking style, appereance and so on. It needs time, actually plenty of posts until everybody gets who we are dealing with. Back then we just introduced 4 fresh new characters which we didn't know at all. Developing 4 new characters as well as the current group (makes 7 people) is plenty of work that needs time. If everybody in this thread brought a new character into the game we would never get forward. Does that sound this absurd? We love newcomers very much - but we all make mistakes. All of us, even our best writers make them. We don't blame or insult anyone, if anything we make constructive suggestions and as we highly appreciate it we've become very eager writers. We got lots of newcomers which have become an important part of this group.
Feel free to join. The most recent summary can be found on page 26, continue reading the story from there on, please. If you have any questions feel free to ask. Nobody has or will become mad.
My bad
Very well done!
I thought there was a tiny inconsistency but I was wrong. I like Jack
What exactly do you mean with a connection?