...
school. stress. my own fault. now im having to skip a class for a day to catch up on work for the next all because I backed myself into a corner and i need the 3 hours that id usually be spending cooped up in a class
crisis is over somewhat. finished the work I was stressed about on tuesday. still gonna be a challenge though in the future im sure. just gotta push through any lack of motivation and complete the work.
I mean i've still got a lot of other work for this week now. wonderful.
So I've been using someone else's Hulu since like, the beginning of time, but they cancelled their subscription. Family Guy needs to be put back on Netflix.
So I've been using someone else's Hulu since like, the beginning of time, but they cancelled their subscription. Family Guy needs to be put back on Netflix.
I'm glad my little brother got rid of his r6 and gto. It wasn't nothing for him to come home, and tell us" hey I about died today lol." Like it's not a big deal to him.
I made the mistake of letting him finish driving us to work one day. He looked at me and said " you're gonna regret this" he runs his car up to about 130mph on this small fuck'n road with trees on each side. I think he was trying to scare me, but it didn't work. All I could think about is he's got a little boy of his own to go home to. I fuck'n jumped all over him on that.
He doesn't like wearing his harness at work ether. I asked him on the way home "do you wanna die, is that it?" He'd say "no; but, if it my time to go, it's my time to go." I try to tell him you can't look at it like that. It's also a chore to get him to wear his damn seatbelt too ?♂️.
I don't know why but I think I'm experiencing anxiety for the first time. I've been nervous about things before, but this is unlike anything I've ever experienced. My mind would race and I can't concentrate on simple tasks, and I'd forget what I'm doing.
The scariest part of it was when I was driving on the interstate it hit me all of a sudden. I've had thoughts like I've never had before. I'd think of how easy it would be to run my corvette off the road into a concrete bridge pillar to stop that feeling. I never think like this. I'm usually a happy go lucky person. I about broke out in tears thinking like that. I should've pulled over and calmed myself self down.
Idk I just woke up and shaking and feeling real nervous. typing this out really helps calm those nerves.
Really just need to quit drinking every time I feel stressed. It used to be to cut loose and have fun, but now it's just to cope. I've got other means to do so I don't know why I chose alcohol.
I poured the rest of what I had out and ended up using a full bottle of jagermeister as a target for my rifle. It felt pretty good to do that.
Really just need to quit drinking every time I feel stressed. It used to be to cut loose and have fun, but now it's just to cope. I've got o… morether means to do so I don't know why I chose alcohol.
I poured the rest of what I had out and ended up using a full bottle of jagermeister as a target for my rifle. It felt pretty good to do that.
Yeah I know what you mean. I'd usually only drink once in a Blue MOON no pun intended. I usually can go months without it; hell I went 6 months without it before. This was the first time a drank two days in a row and I thought to myself, this isn't normal.
I know what it is it's my baby brother got me worried sick. Not to go into detail but he left his house really upset the other night and I had to go find him to calm him down; luckily he was at a friends house. I never heard my brother cry before that. Ended up spending the night with him and I guess I needed something to take that edge off.
Well this just helped me put two and two together. I've never felt anxiety, and depression like that ever before. I'm glad those symptoms are over with now. They lasted for like two days ?
The last few days and weeks have been a nightmare for me on a mental level.
As my time at School is coming to an end, I am worrying about what is next. I want to go to College and study to be a Guidance Counselor or Psychologist, but how can I even be either of those if I am constantly feeling down and worthless?
I don't want to leave school, I have such amazing teachers, there are people who I love and adore at school, and the thought of not being able to see them again is eating away at me. The very thought of being done with school and having to work and work for 20 or 30 years, trying to support myself, buying a house, buying a car, paying bills is scaring me.
I feel alone, I feel that the people who I want to like me and who I care about a lot do not like me, and I feel that my "friends" are not really my friends, but rather act nice to me out of pity. And as cringy as this sounds, there are a couple of girls that I like, one of them is someone who I have known since I was 7 or 8, the other is someone who I previously kissed, and I don't know, since then I have liked her. I really like them, but I have no confidence or faith to talk to them or to make a move. As much as I want to be with someone, I wouldn't really trust myself in a relationship. I do not think I would cheat or do anything harmful, but I do think that I may not be of any worth in a relationship, that I will constantly feel like crap, that I wouldn't acknowledge or show affection or love towards them because of what goes on in my head.
I go to counselling every couple of weeks, and I have told my counsellor how I feel and how I think, she says that I am way too harsh on myself and that I have a tendency to overthink things, from planning out an entire conversation and overanalysing every word used in a conversation or a text, to reading people's body language and worrying that I annoy them or bore them. She says that I do a lot of "Thinking Errors" and that how I think people view me, may not actually be the case. I want to believe her, but I can't, in my head, life and the world is against me.
I see people in my life being with one another, having fun and enjoying themselves, living their lives. I am jealous of them, because I wish I too could have that. They are far more interesting and better than I am, everyone loves them and talks to them and adores them, but what do I have? I don't feel like I have anything. I have tried to hold onto the hope that life gets better but I would always get a slap in my face from life for thinking that. And it gets worse and worse, every single day. While everyone else I look at seems to be better every day.
I really and truly hate myself, I despise my life and everything about me. I look at myself in the mirror and I am disgusted by who I see. I know that I may act all normal and alright on these forums, but I wake up every day, and feel a little bit of me break because life has been giving me the middle finger for the last 17 years, and I just wish that it would stop and give me peace. And when life does give me something good, it manages to take it all away from me not long after, stripping away any hope or happiness I had or gained.
At this point, I don't know what to do anymore, I am tired of all the bad stuff that happens to me, tomorrow may be a new day, but it will feel just like every other day I have ever had in my life, and knowing that as I go to sleep every night, it takes away any hope I have in life.
There are people who just casually walk through life and get all of the benefits they want and have all of their prayers answered as well as the wishes they made come true. But me? I barely drag myself through each day, and for doing that I get the biggest kick in the groin I could ever imagine, for ever thinking that my life could get better, I get punished for it, and the prayers of mine fall on deaf ears, the wishes I made were just meaningless words or thoughts.
I do try to see what the world and life can give me, and I try to hold onto hope, but that does not get me anywhere except a mental nightmare where I am constantly being tortured for wanting to be happy.
I don't even know anymore. I can't say I don't care as I do, I don't want to be broken every day because life and the world that I had previously viewed positively have other plans for me.
Welcome to the Grand Illusion,
Come on in and see what's happening,
Pay the price, get your tickets for the show.
The stage is set, the band starts playing,
Suddenly your heart is pounding,
Wishing secretly you were a star.
But don't be fooled by the radio,
The TV or the magazines.
They show you photographs of how your life should be,
But they're just someone else's fantasy.
So if you think your life is complete confusion,
Because you never win the game,
Just remember that it's a Grand illusion,
And deep inside we're all the same.
We're all the same...
(That song is by Styx if you haven't recognized it already. It came out in 1977.)
Life isn't really all that easy for anyone, not even those rich folks who have more money than they'll ever need.
When you go to college, you'll be in the same boat as everyone else. They also just finished high school and are starting something new that they're not quite sure about yet. They won't have any prejudgements about you, and the braver ones will come over and try to make friends. You should let them. College is a lot about learning how you really want to live your life, more so than high school. Do your best, and it will all work out.
The last few days and weeks have been a nightmare for me on a mental level.
As my time at School is coming to an end, I am worrying about … morewhat is next. I want to go to College and study to be a Guidance Counselor or Psychologist, but how can I even be either of those if I am constantly feeling down and worthless?
I don't want to leave school, I have such amazing teachers, there are people who I love and adore at school, and the thought of not being able to see them again is eating away at me. The very thought of being done with school and having to work and work for 20 or 30 years, trying to support myself, buying a house, buying a car, paying bills is scaring me.
I feel alone, I feel that the people who I want to like me and who I care about a lot do not like me, and I feel that my "friends" are not really my friends, but rather act nice to me out of pity. And as cringy as this sounds, there are a couple of girls that I like, one of th… [view original content]
I appreciate how openly you expressed your struggles and I wanted to wait before I responded so I could give it enough thought.
I personally feel as though many of the deeper issues with depression need a constant stream of support for growth out of them. Not to say people can't do that on their own, but this thread can only give flickers of light to guide you; we can't illuminate the path completely since we're just practically strangers.
The ideal compatibility with your counselor is important to getting the most out of your treatment; you don't want to feel like you can't believe what they say because that defeats the purpose of your recovery. That doesn't make her bad at her job necessarily, just that her style and techniques might be better suited to a different temperament than yours. Another counselor can approach the same lesson and make it stick since you click with their personality. Don't be afraid to seek out the right counselor, it's your treatment and you want what they say to feel right to you. You could also change your own approach to her treatment if you feel like that would be what's best.
I believe that confidence is not a personality trait, in the same way that a wilting sunflower is not defined by it's malnourishment. It can blossom back it's beauty with the right nuturing and sprinkle the seeds that will someday make the world around it just as beautiful. The difference is flowers are forced to idle for the right nurturing. You're also vastly superior to your reflection in the mirror; it has no soul, no will of it's own, no solid presence, and it vanishes from existence when you choose to lose interest in it. We were put on this Earth to serve far more than eyes.
You mentioned that you prayed. If you believe in God, then He didn't place us on this Earth to chase after our own happiness, but to pursue happiness for our neighbors and the betterment of life itself. We don't pray to fulfill our own plans and hopes because we're not entitled to have them succeed, we pray to be guided towards where the plan for us was laid out. Our own hopelessness is sometimes necessary for a time so we grow and impact the world in the way we were meant to in the future.
I hate to see someone who's been so uplifting towards other people here call themselves broken, though I learned sometimes that pain is what causes people to cherish the good in others more in in the first place. I'll pray that you'll find your way and I wish the best for you
The last few days and weeks have been a nightmare for me on a mental level.
As my time at School is coming to an end, I am worrying about … morewhat is next. I want to go to College and study to be a Guidance Counselor or Psychologist, but how can I even be either of those if I am constantly feeling down and worthless?
I don't want to leave school, I have such amazing teachers, there are people who I love and adore at school, and the thought of not being able to see them again is eating away at me. The very thought of being done with school and having to work and work for 20 or 30 years, trying to support myself, buying a house, buying a car, paying bills is scaring me.
I feel alone, I feel that the people who I want to like me and who I care about a lot do not like me, and I feel that my "friends" are not really my friends, but rather act nice to me out of pity. And as cringy as this sounds, there are a couple of girls that I like, one of th… [view original content]
I really wish I could believe that, but I can't see my life getting any better at all, if it has been pain and misery for as long as I have been living up to this very day, I am very sure that it will only continue to get worse and worse for me.
But thank you for responding to my comment and trying to help
Welcome to the Grand Illusion,
Come on in and see what's happening,
Pay the price, get your tickets for the show.
The stage is set, the b… moreand starts playing,
Suddenly your heart is pounding,
Wishing secretly you were a star.
But don't be fooled by the radio,
The TV or the magazines.
They show you photographs of how your life should be,
But they're just someone else's fantasy.
So if you think your life is complete confusion,
Because you never win the game,
Just remember that it's a Grand illusion,
And deep inside we're all the same.
We're all the same...
(That song is by Styx if you haven't recognized it already. It came out in 1977.)
Life isn't really all that easy for anyone, not even those rich folks who have more money than they'll ever need.
When you go to college, you'll be in the same boat as everyone else. They also just finished high school and are starting something new that they're not quite sure about yet.… [view original content]
I am so sorry for the late reply. I appreciate that you wrote back a response to my comment. I do think my Counsellor is great and I do think her methods are great too, I just don't think I am a suitable person for counselling, ultimately it is up to me whether or not I can accept what she or anyone says. And while I really want to, I just can't. No matter who it is, no matter how uplifting or reassuring their comments are, they ultimately do not work. I may feel good for a bit, but something happens, something just clicks in my brain, that makes the meaning and genuineness from their comment just fizz out, and they become just words.
I honestly think I am beyond saving from anyone, I can see that they want to help, but I cant accept it. What they say is nice and it is comforting, but it is doesn't stick, it just fuels the fire that life is wanting to punish me, it may not be immediately, but it hits not long after. I do not believe I am able to change, as much as I want to, I am not able to, and knowing that hurts me
I turned to God so many times, when I needed Him the most, and I received silence. I relied on Him to give me a break and to see just how much damage and pain and hurt all of this does to me, and I got silence. I still believe in God, but I don't know what to think of Him at this point. I have lost all hope
I really wish I uplifted people, but I have more than definitely hurt them, angered them and lost trust from them, I have caused several arguments in the past, and I completely messed up the things I had for myself
I actually and truly hate myself, I look at myself and I am disgusted by what I see and who I am. I know I look silly by posting this stuff on here, having a complete meltdown and making a fool of myself, but I have done it several times before
I am so sorry I wasted yours and everyone elses time by posting my comments, Thank you guys for listening, but I don't think I am worth all of the hassle, or that it is still possible to help me, I am a lost cause
I appreciate how openly you expressed your struggles and I wanted to wait before I responded so I could give it enough thought.
I persona… morelly feel as though many of the deeper issues with depression need a constant stream of support for growth out of them. Not to say people can't do that on their own, but this thread can only give flickers of light to guide you; we can't illuminate the path completely since we're just practically strangers.
The ideal compatibility with your counselor is important to getting the most out of your treatment; you don't want to feel like you can't believe what they say because that defeats the purpose of your recovery. That doesn't make her bad at her job necessarily, just that her style and techniques might be better suited to a different temperament than yours. Another counselor can approach the same lesson and make it stick since you click with their personality. Don't be afraid to seek out the right couns… [view original content]
I really wish I could believe that, but I can't see my life getting any better at all, if it has been pain and misery for as long as I have … morebeen living up to this very day, I am very sure that it will only continue to get worse and worse for me.
But thank you for responding to my comment and trying to help
At least your father's sister's son's brother wasn't killed to life. Not only would the sweet release of death release you instead, but your own funeral probably isn't tax deductible ?
At least your father's sister's son's brother wasn't killed to life. Not only would the sweet release of death release you instead, but your own funeral probably isn't tax deductible ?
Seems unnecessarily judgemental for someone who says they bear no disrespect. I'll take your word that you're a better person than that.
Anyways John Doe is one of my favorite characters from Telltale, Joker or not. If you scroll up a little bit you'll see that usually I'm pretty solemn and spiritual (though I don't show that as much here) and I try to be supportive of others here while I can. If my natural style of humor comes across as a Joker wannabe, then sure I'll roll with it ?
Though if this is about the Tik Tok thread then that was a one-off shitpost thread, just like how that shitpost was a response to another shitpost.
The last few days and weeks have been a nightmare for me on a mental level.
As my time at School is coming to an end, I am worrying about … morewhat is next. I want to go to College and study to be a Guidance Counselor or Psychologist, but how can I even be either of those if I am constantly feeling down and worthless?
I don't want to leave school, I have such amazing teachers, there are people who I love and adore at school, and the thought of not being able to see them again is eating away at me. The very thought of being done with school and having to work and work for 20 or 30 years, trying to support myself, buying a house, buying a car, paying bills is scaring me.
I feel alone, I feel that the people who I want to like me and who I care about a lot do not like me, and I feel that my "friends" are not really my friends, but rather act nice to me out of pity. And as cringy as this sounds, there are a couple of girls that I like, one of th… [view original content]
I don't think i have anxiety right now, i don't feel stressed or panicked at all for my heart to start racing for no reason.
I've had real anxiety before and it was different. I just had my birthday celebration on a weekend and i've been drinking lot of Coke from friday to sunday, because i really like that drink, im no alcoholic, only beer tho, im chill.
So i could barely fall asleep and i was worried, i have school and i don't need this right now.
How do you deal with this, what's the best way to make it go away, i'd like to hear your tips.
One thing i learned is that i should always feel relaxed, but with anxiety you should be more careful.
So when im in bed all i hear is my heartbeats going so fast and i have trouble falling asleep because of that.
I could panic and make it even worse but i learned my lesson to not to. I think another LiS playthrough is in order.
When i had anxiety i literally thought i was going to die, now its different, just my heart beating so fast during the night.
Its probably just from high sugar intake. I'm kinda ashamed to go to a doctor again for the similar reason.
They told me i was healthy.
Caffeine has a half-life of three hours, which means every three hours, if you don't put more in your system, your body eliminates half of what is there. If you had two Cokes three hours ago, that's like having one Coke right now. Sugar is more complicated, because it depends on what your body thinks it needs and can store for later, but if you haven't had anything since Sunday, it's pretty much out of your system by now.
Of course, you probably have had something since Sunday, in which case, all you have to do is cut back. You don't have to stop completely, and in fact, you'll probably get a headache if you do, but if you drink water instead of Coke every other time you want one, that should cut the amount in your system, and make it easier to get to sleep. Also avoid looking at screens, like a TV or computer or smartphone, in the last 30 minutes before bed. Yes, if someone wants you on social media during those 30 minutes, they can wait 'til tomorrow.
Doctors can prescribe other stuff, but they'll make you do this first, so try it so you can say you did before asking them.
I don't think i have anxiety right now, i don't feel stressed or panicked at all for my heart to start racing for no reason.
I've had real … moreanxiety before and it was different. I just had my birthday celebration on a weekend and i've been drinking lot of Coke from friday to sunday, because i really like that drink, im no alcoholic, only beer tho, im chill.
So i could barely fall asleep and i was worried, i have school and i don't need this right now.
How do you deal with this, what's the best way to make it go away, i'd like to hear your tips.
One thing i learned is that i should always feel relaxed, but with anxiety you should be more careful.
So when im in bed all i hear is my heartbeats going so fast and i have trouble falling asleep because of that.
I could panic and make it even worse but i learned my lesson to not to. I think another LiS playthrough is in order.
When i had anxiety i literally thought i was going to die, now its … [view original content]
I slept well today so im pretty sure it was from a damn sugar.
I literally had a glass of ice tea next to my bed. When i woke up i started to drink water and then i got a headache, not sure if it was from sleep or stoping drinking.
But i slept well so im fine and im happy it wasnt anxiety. Sometimes i wonder do always i have to go thru this or im not alone.
Caffeine has a half-life of three hours, which means every three hours, if you don't put more in your system, your body eliminates half of w… morehat is there. If you had two Cokes three hours ago, that's like having one Coke right now. Sugar is more complicated, because it depends on what your body thinks it needs and can store for later, but if you haven't had anything since Sunday, it's pretty much out of your system by now.
Of course, you probably have had something since Sunday, in which case, all you have to do is cut back. You don't have to stop completely, and in fact, you'll probably get a headache if you do, but if you drink water instead of Coke every other time you want one, that should cut the amount in your system, and make it easier to get to sleep. Also avoid looking at screens, like a TV or computer or smartphone, in the last 30 minutes before bed. Yes, if someone wants you on social media during those 30 minutes, they can … [view original content]
Your friend was not defined by her anorexia, not even in death, and she deserves more than to be remembered by us as only a pitiful statistic of the lives that it takes. She had a lot of good qualities to be a close friend of yours, qualities only you can appreciate on this forum; she had a special worth to you that we could never touch.
I'm sorry for your loss. Everyone here understands that you feel guilty about what happened, but if you were the one writing the story that never would've happened. You clearly care about her a lot, even if there was some sort of falling out between you two in the past, and that's enough to help her rest peacefully.
I just lost a close friend to anorexia...she was only 19.
3 months ago she just kinda disappeared, we thought that she needed some time o… moren her own or something, it happens.
But today one of my friend was reading the newspaper and she saw her orbituary.
I keep thinking that maybe if I called her I could’ve make her snap out of it and start hanging out again...
Im just devastated.
I just lost a close friend to anorexia...she was only 19.
3 months ago she just kinda disappeared, we thought that she needed some time o… moren her own or something, it happens.
But today one of my friend was reading the newspaper and she saw her orbituary.
I keep thinking that maybe if I called her I could’ve make her snap out of it and start hanging out again...
Im just devastated.
I didn't want to post anything here, seeing that there are people here who's problems are way more serious than mine, but there's reallly something I'd like to get off my chest. Pardon me for getting straight to the point that fast. My mind has been troubled by some really grim thoughts for a few years now. Very often I feel like I don't deserve to live in this world, like I don't deserve anything at all(friends, love, etc.) At this moment I feel like those thoughts completely clouded my judgment of who I am or what I can do. Everything is so pointless to me, there's so little things that makes me genuienly happy or at least gives me something that resembles happiness. I distanced myself from anyone, I barely say anything during a day. It came to the point where I am terrified of people. I often think that suicide is the ony answer, and for that I just feel disgusted, disgusted and ashamed of what I am.
Anyway, that's what I wanted to get off my chest. I didn't include everything, but I'm not in the mood to add anything more right now. Hope you can understand anything in this mess I wrote.
What helps me keep my mind off of how shit this world is is setting some realistically impossible goals to keep my mind off of things, and on the off chance that the goals actually come into fruition then happy days. For me, it’s to make millions off of a fashion brand that I’m planning, so that I can one day move away from the troubles of society and maybe start a nice, peaceful, farm out in the countryside away from people. I remember when people used to pressure me into getting a job, and when people used to show off their jobs working at a McDonald’s to me, but when I turned around with full confidence and confessed that I want to live the lavish lifestyle and that’s what I’m planning ahead for, they soon turned around and supported me, giving me advice and a solid starting point. Basically, trying to separate yourself from society, aside from friends and family, and challenging the social norms head on in probably one of the best coping methods, I mean look at me, I don’t have an awful lot of money, I’m not poor, but I’m not exactly rich neither, I don’t have a girlfriend (which my opinion on whether I want one or not often shifts) and I’m not the best in social situations either, but trying to achieve what the rest of society can’t is what keeps me as stable as I possibly can be, so maybe you should give it a try also. Who knows, maybe you’ll get lucky? Just find the thing you love, even if you don’t know that you love it yet.
I didn't want to post anything here, seeing that there are people here who's problems are way more serious than mine, but there's reallly so… moremething I'd like to get off my chest. Pardon me for getting straight to the point that fast. My mind has been troubled by some really grim thoughts for a few years now. Very often I feel like I don't deserve to live in this world, like I don't deserve anything at all(friends, love, etc.) At this moment I feel like those thoughts completely clouded my judgment of who I am or what I can do. Everything is so pointless to me, there's so little things that makes me genuienly happy or at least gives me something that resembles happiness. I distanced myself from anyone, I barely say anything during a day. It came to the point where I am terrified of people. I often think that suicide is the ony answer, and for that I just feel disgusted, disgusted and ashamed of what I am.
Anyway, that's what I wanted to get … [view original content]
Change is inevitable in life and change most often makes us feel uncertain and scared. The way you're feeling is normal, so don't be too hard on yourself. Don't think of it as an end to the good times, but as a time of tons of potential opportunities for moving forward.
Most people don't know exactly what career to pursue when they go to college. The most important thing for you right now is to just get accepted somewhere you think you'd enjoy attending. College is about discovering yourself and using your newfound free time to make new friends, learn new hobbies, and save some money. It's not all going to happen all at once but just keep a positive mindset and things will fall into place.
Just stay positive and be grateful for your blessings. There's always someone worse off who would do anything to be in your position. Life is short but you're young and have many opportunities waiting for you, just do your best to be grateful and take advantage of those opportunities. I know you can do it!
The last few days and weeks have been a nightmare for me on a mental level.
As my time at School is coming to an end, I am worrying about … morewhat is next. I want to go to College and study to be a Guidance Counselor or Psychologist, but how can I even be either of those if I am constantly feeling down and worthless?
I don't want to leave school, I have such amazing teachers, there are people who I love and adore at school, and the thought of not being able to see them again is eating away at me. The very thought of being done with school and having to work and work for 20 or 30 years, trying to support myself, buying a house, buying a car, paying bills is scaring me.
I feel alone, I feel that the people who I want to like me and who I care about a lot do not like me, and I feel that my "friends" are not really my friends, but rather act nice to me out of pity. And as cringy as this sounds, there are a couple of girls that I like, one of th… [view original content]
If there is literally nothing that ever makes you happy, it might help to see a professional about it if you can. There may be some wacky chemical imbalance in your body, or it might just help to talk over some things and get a perspective from someone safe. At least try that before you do anything permanent.
I didn't want to post anything here, seeing that there are people here who's problems are way more serious than mine, but there's reallly so… moremething I'd like to get off my chest. Pardon me for getting straight to the point that fast. My mind has been troubled by some really grim thoughts for a few years now. Very often I feel like I don't deserve to live in this world, like I don't deserve anything at all(friends, love, etc.) At this moment I feel like those thoughts completely clouded my judgment of who I am or what I can do. Everything is so pointless to me, there's so little things that makes me genuienly happy or at least gives me something that resembles happiness. I distanced myself from anyone, I barely say anything during a day. It came to the point where I am terrified of people. I often think that suicide is the ony answer, and for that I just feel disgusted, disgusted and ashamed of what I am.
Anyway, that's what I wanted to get … [view original content]
Hey, let's be real here: your problems are never going to be too trivial for this place. It speaks volumes of the kind of support this place can give that you felt you had to preface that. I'm glad you decided to share what was troubling you.
I can't speak to you as a professional, or as someone who knows you personally. I can only speak as someone who understands that path. We can't treat depression (aside from hopefully pointing you in the right direction) as it's a meticulous journey that requires us to be able to know your troubles on a personal level (professional help exists to provide that support). I can say that when the world casts you into darkness, you strike a flame and show that it won't shadow you no matter how hard it tries. It's our natural (or God given) right to create our own light for aid and defense and anyone who tells you otherwise is deluding you in order to follow theirs. You don't need anyone to tell you that you deserve to be here or things that make you happy because the world isn't entitled to define your place or happiness for you no matter how hard it tries.
Absolutes breed more absolutes, and the more you push away any thought the stronger it grows. Suicide is an answer over 45,000 people choose annually, but just like it's untrue that it isn't an answer (despite the pain it causes), it doesn't make it the only one. It's a genuine part of human nature to consider suicide to better the people around you (whether that would be true or not) and escape pain, even if that pain is all in your head. You understand the consequences of taking your own life and how those thoughts have clouded your judgements, that's enough to contest that decision and shame will only weigh you down in dealing with that. Come to terms with what it's telling you; that doesn't mean you have to accept it. The road you want to go on is your choice and no one can take that away from you, but the road of recovery is always an answer no matter how bumpy it can get at times. Posting here is already one step down that path and I appreciate that you took steps towards it. I wish you the best on the rest of your journey in dealing with it.
I didn't want to post anything here, seeing that there are people here who's problems are way more serious than mine, but there's reallly so… moremething I'd like to get off my chest. Pardon me for getting straight to the point that fast. My mind has been troubled by some really grim thoughts for a few years now. Very often I feel like I don't deserve to live in this world, like I don't deserve anything at all(friends, love, etc.) At this moment I feel like those thoughts completely clouded my judgment of who I am or what I can do. Everything is so pointless to me, there's so little things that makes me genuienly happy or at least gives me something that resembles happiness. I distanced myself from anyone, I barely say anything during a day. It came to the point where I am terrified of people. I often think that suicide is the ony answer, and for that I just feel disgusted, disgusted and ashamed of what I am.
Anyway, that's what I wanted to get … [view original content]
Sorry for the late response Venge, change is very scary. I remember my first day of Secondary School (High School) and how much I was dreading it. On my second day, I cried that I missed my last school. It is kind of silly, but I had it so easy back then, and the thought of having to go through education in a new place with only 5 or 6 familiar faces from before terrified me, as there were 85 other people that I didn't know.
I want to be a Counsellor, either a Guidance Counsellor in a School, or an outside Service part of the national healthboard in my country. What makes me want to pursue being a counsellor is that I know how it feels to feel down, and knowing that there are other people out there, who have it far worse, or are going through the same thing as me, makes me feel sad, and I want to be able to help them, and make them feel better.
I plan on going to a local College, a Career Guidance teacher in my school recommends that I attend said College, so I am going to take up her advice and do it.
Change is inevitable in life and change most often makes us feel uncertain and scared. The way you're feeling is normal, so don't be too har… mored on yourself. Don't think of it as an end to the good times, but as a time of tons of potential opportunities for moving forward.
Most people don't know exactly what career to pursue when they go to college. The most important thing for you right now is to just get accepted somewhere you think you'd enjoy attending. College is about discovering yourself and using your newfound free time to make new friends, learn new hobbies, and save some money. It's not all going to happen all at once but just keep a positive mindset and things will fall into place.
Just stay positive and be grateful for your blessings. There's always someone worse off who would do anything to be in your position. Life is short but you're young and have many opportunities waiting for you, just do your best to be grateful and take advantage of those opportunities. I know you can do it!
I'm being internet stalked and harassed by SOMEONE here on the forum. I don't need help but they sure as hell do, so can someone refer them to a psychiatrist? I don't feel like receiving random messages/creepy poems from them about me because I won't talk to them anymore. It's annoying and creepy as hell.
Stalkers were not taught healthy relationship boundaries, either because of emotional neglect as children or other unhealthy relationships with parents or other mentors like too much intimacy, and have a poor acceptance of the distinction between lust and love. It's only when the behavior is joined with a history of abuse that they become dangerous. Stalking alone is more due to a lack of social skills than outright malevolence. It's best to be calm and firm with placing those boundaries for them since there's a good chance they are emotionally unstable to begin with, and if they were emotionally abused anger could set them off.
I'm not certified and I get that this might be a joke though.
I'm being internet stalked and harassed by SOMEONE here on the forum. I don't need help but they sure as hell do, so can someone refer them … moreto a psychiatrist? I don't feel like receiving random messages/creepy poems from them about me because I won't talk to them anymore. It's annoying and creepy as hell.
I hardly even know this guy and hes sending me messages like this. And this is real, hes been doing this on discord for the past couple of days until i blocked him
He had a server that I and a few others from this forum were in but closed it because I blocked him and started doing unsafe things to himself, if you get my meaning. All because I blocked him. I made a new one and he was more than welcome to join if he wanted, I just wouldn’t talk to him and he went on about how he doesnt want to join because he can just talk to me, like im his girlfriend or something. This whole thing is really annoying and super gay.
Stalkers were not taught healthy relationship boundaries, either because of emotional neglect as children or other unhealthy relationships w… moreith parents or other mentors like too much intimacy, and have a poor acceptance of the distinction between lust and love. It's only when the behavior is joined with a history of abuse that they become dangerous. Stalking alone is more due to a lack of social skills than outright malevolence. It's best to be calm and firm with placing those boundaries for them since there's a good chance they are emotionally unstable to begin with, and if they were emotionally abused anger could set them off.
I'm not certified and I get that this might be a joke though.
Wow, he really is into you. At first it was sounding like a joke going go far, but him hurting himself because you aren't talking to him is pretty serious. He needs to get over it, and I think he will, but in the meantime he is still taking his frustration out on himself which isn't healthy. So, just give it a few more weeks and don't talk to him whatsoever, because that is only fueling his strive towards you. And whatever he does is nothing to feel guilty about, he chose to do it himself. Just think that what you're doing now to help him move on will cause less harm to him in the future.
I hardly even know this guy and hes sending me messages like this. And this is real, hes been doing this on discord for the past couple of d… moreays until i blocked him
He had a server that I and a few others from this forum were in but closed it because I blocked him and started doing unsafe things to himself, if you get my meaning. All because I blocked him. I made a new one and he was more than welcome to join if he wanted, I just wouldn’t talk to him and he went on about how he doesnt want to join because he can just talk to me, like im his girlfriend or something. This whole thing is really annoying and super gay.
Wow, he really is into you. At first it was sounding like a joke going go far, but him hurting himself because you aren't talking to him is … morepretty serious. He needs to get over it, and I think he will, but in the meantime he is still taking his frustration out on himself which isn't healthy. So, just give it a few more weeks and don't talk to him whatsoever, because that is only fueling his strive towards you. And whatever he does is nothing to feel guilty about, he chose to do it himself. Just think that what you're doing now to help him move on will cause less harm to him in the future.
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school. stress. my own fault. now im having to skip a class for a day to catch up on work for the next all because I backed myself into a corner and i need the 3 hours that id usually be spending cooped up in a class
crisis is over somewhat. finished the work I was stressed about on tuesday. still gonna be a challenge though in the future im sure. just gotta push through any lack of motivation and complete the work.
I mean i've still got a lot of other work for this week now. wonderful.
So I've been using someone else's Hulu since like, the beginning of time, but they cancelled their subscription. Family Guy needs to be put back on Netflix.
there is a site i know called toonova that has every family guy episode on it
I'm glad my little brother got rid of his r6 and gto. It wasn't nothing for him to come home, and tell us" hey I about died today lol." Like it's not a big deal to him.
I made the mistake of letting him finish driving us to work one day. He looked at me and said " you're gonna regret this" he runs his car up to about 130mph on this small fuck'n road with trees on each side. I think he was trying to scare me, but it didn't work. All I could think about is he's got a little boy of his own to go home to. I fuck'n jumped all over him on that.
He doesn't like wearing his harness at work ether. I asked him on the way home "do you wanna die, is that it?" He'd say "no; but, if it my time to go, it's my time to go." I try to tell him you can't look at it like that. It's also a chore to get him to wear his damn seatbelt too ?♂️.
I don't know why but I think I'm experiencing anxiety for the first time. I've been nervous about things before, but this is unlike anything I've ever experienced. My mind would race and I can't concentrate on simple tasks, and I'd forget what I'm doing.
The scariest part of it was when I was driving on the interstate it hit me all of a sudden. I've had thoughts like I've never had before. I'd think of how easy it would be to run my corvette off the road into a concrete bridge pillar to stop that feeling. I never think like this. I'm usually a happy go lucky person. I about broke out in tears thinking like that. I should've pulled over and calmed myself self down.
Idk I just woke up and shaking and feeling real nervous. typing this out really helps calm those nerves.
Really just need to quit drinking every time I feel stressed. It used to be to cut loose and have fun, but now it's just to cope. I've got other means to do so I don't know why I chose alcohol.
I poured the rest of what I had out and ended up using a full bottle of jagermeister as a target for my rifle. It felt pretty good to do that.
Awesome! It's not always that easy, though, so keep those other coping mechanisms handy.
Yeah I know what you mean. I'd usually only drink once in a Blue MOON no pun intended. I usually can go months without it; hell I went 6 months without it before. This was the first time a drank two days in a row and I thought to myself, this isn't normal.
I know what it is it's my baby brother got me worried sick. Not to go into detail but he left his house really upset the other night and I had to go find him to calm him down; luckily he was at a friends house. I never heard my brother cry before that. Ended up spending the night with him and I guess I needed something to take that edge off.
Well this just helped me put two and two together. I've never felt anxiety, and depression like that ever before. I'm glad those symptoms are over with now. They lasted for like two days ?
The last few days and weeks have been a nightmare for me on a mental level.
As my time at School is coming to an end, I am worrying about what is next. I want to go to College and study to be a Guidance Counselor or Psychologist, but how can I even be either of those if I am constantly feeling down and worthless?
I don't want to leave school, I have such amazing teachers, there are people who I love and adore at school, and the thought of not being able to see them again is eating away at me. The very thought of being done with school and having to work and work for 20 or 30 years, trying to support myself, buying a house, buying a car, paying bills is scaring me.
I feel alone, I feel that the people who I want to like me and who I care about a lot do not like me, and I feel that my "friends" are not really my friends, but rather act nice to me out of pity. And as cringy as this sounds, there are a couple of girls that I like, one of them is someone who I have known since I was 7 or 8, the other is someone who I previously kissed, and I don't know, since then I have liked her. I really like them, but I have no confidence or faith to talk to them or to make a move. As much as I want to be with someone, I wouldn't really trust myself in a relationship. I do not think I would cheat or do anything harmful, but I do think that I may not be of any worth in a relationship, that I will constantly feel like crap, that I wouldn't acknowledge or show affection or love towards them because of what goes on in my head.
I go to counselling every couple of weeks, and I have told my counsellor how I feel and how I think, she says that I am way too harsh on myself and that I have a tendency to overthink things, from planning out an entire conversation and overanalysing every word used in a conversation or a text, to reading people's body language and worrying that I annoy them or bore them. She says that I do a lot of "Thinking Errors" and that how I think people view me, may not actually be the case. I want to believe her, but I can't, in my head, life and the world is against me.
I see people in my life being with one another, having fun and enjoying themselves, living their lives. I am jealous of them, because I wish I too could have that. They are far more interesting and better than I am, everyone loves them and talks to them and adores them, but what do I have? I don't feel like I have anything. I have tried to hold onto the hope that life gets better but I would always get a slap in my face from life for thinking that. And it gets worse and worse, every single day. While everyone else I look at seems to be better every day.
I really and truly hate myself, I despise my life and everything about me. I look at myself in the mirror and I am disgusted by who I see. I know that I may act all normal and alright on these forums, but I wake up every day, and feel a little bit of me break because life has been giving me the middle finger for the last 17 years, and I just wish that it would stop and give me peace. And when life does give me something good, it manages to take it all away from me not long after, stripping away any hope or happiness I had or gained.
At this point, I don't know what to do anymore, I am tired of all the bad stuff that happens to me, tomorrow may be a new day, but it will feel just like every other day I have ever had in my life, and knowing that as I go to sleep every night, it takes away any hope I have in life.
There are people who just casually walk through life and get all of the benefits they want and have all of their prayers answered as well as the wishes they made come true. But me? I barely drag myself through each day, and for doing that I get the biggest kick in the groin I could ever imagine, for ever thinking that my life could get better, I get punished for it, and the prayers of mine fall on deaf ears, the wishes I made were just meaningless words or thoughts.
I do try to see what the world and life can give me, and I try to hold onto hope, but that does not get me anywhere except a mental nightmare where I am constantly being tortured for wanting to be happy.
I don't even know anymore. I can't say I don't care as I do, I don't want to be broken every day because life and the world that I had previously viewed positively have other plans for me.
Welcome to the Grand Illusion,
Come on in and see what's happening,
Pay the price, get your tickets for the show.
The stage is set, the band starts playing,
Suddenly your heart is pounding,
Wishing secretly you were a star.
But don't be fooled by the radio,
The TV or the magazines.
They show you photographs of how your life should be,
But they're just someone else's fantasy.
So if you think your life is complete confusion,
Because you never win the game,
Just remember that it's a Grand illusion,
And deep inside we're all the same.
We're all the same...
(That song is by Styx if you haven't recognized it already. It came out in 1977.)
Life isn't really all that easy for anyone, not even those rich folks who have more money than they'll ever need.
When you go to college, you'll be in the same boat as everyone else. They also just finished high school and are starting something new that they're not quite sure about yet. They won't have any prejudgements about you, and the braver ones will come over and try to make friends. You should let them.
College is a lot about learning how you really want to live your life, more so than high school. Do your best, and it will all work out.
I appreciate how openly you expressed your struggles and I wanted to wait before I responded so I could give it enough thought.
I personally feel as though many of the deeper issues with depression need a constant stream of support for growth out of them. Not to say people can't do that on their own, but this thread can only give flickers of light to guide you; we can't illuminate the path completely since we're just practically strangers.
The ideal compatibility with your counselor is important to getting the most out of your treatment; you don't want to feel like you can't believe what they say because that defeats the purpose of your recovery. That doesn't make her bad at her job necessarily, just that her style and techniques might be better suited to a different temperament than yours. Another counselor can approach the same lesson and make it stick since you click with their personality. Don't be afraid to seek out the right counselor, it's your treatment and you want what they say to feel right to you. You could also change your own approach to her treatment if you feel like that would be what's best.
I believe that confidence is not a personality trait, in the same way that a wilting sunflower is not defined by it's malnourishment. It can blossom back it's beauty with the right nuturing and sprinkle the seeds that will someday make the world around it just as beautiful. The difference is flowers are forced to idle for the right nurturing. You're also vastly superior to your reflection in the mirror; it has no soul, no will of it's own, no solid presence, and it vanishes from existence when you choose to lose interest in it. We were put on this Earth to serve far more than eyes.
You mentioned that you prayed. If you believe in God, then He didn't place us on this Earth to chase after our own happiness, but to pursue happiness for our neighbors and the betterment of life itself. We don't pray to fulfill our own plans and hopes because we're not entitled to have them succeed, we pray to be guided towards where the plan for us was laid out. Our own hopelessness is sometimes necessary for a time so we grow and impact the world in the way we were meant to in the future.
I hate to see someone who's been so uplifting towards other people here call themselves broken, though I learned sometimes that pain is what causes people to cherish the good in others more in in the first place. I'll pray that you'll find your way and I wish the best for you
Family Guy a day keeps the depression away. Too bad we don’t have Hulu anymore??. Everything on Netlfix is kinda garbage to be honest.
I really wish I could believe that, but I can't see my life getting any better at all, if it has been pain and misery for as long as I have been living up to this very day, I am very sure that it will only continue to get worse and worse for me.
But thank you for responding to my comment and trying to help
I am so sorry for the late reply. I appreciate that you wrote back a response to my comment. I do think my Counsellor is great and I do think her methods are great too, I just don't think I am a suitable person for counselling, ultimately it is up to me whether or not I can accept what she or anyone says. And while I really want to, I just can't. No matter who it is, no matter how uplifting or reassuring their comments are, they ultimately do not work. I may feel good for a bit, but something happens, something just clicks in my brain, that makes the meaning and genuineness from their comment just fizz out, and they become just words.
I honestly think I am beyond saving from anyone, I can see that they want to help, but I cant accept it. What they say is nice and it is comforting, but it is doesn't stick, it just fuels the fire that life is wanting to punish me, it may not be immediately, but it hits not long after. I do not believe I am able to change, as much as I want to, I am not able to, and knowing that hurts me
I turned to God so many times, when I needed Him the most, and I received silence. I relied on Him to give me a break and to see just how much damage and pain and hurt all of this does to me, and I got silence. I still believe in God, but I don't know what to think of Him at this point. I have lost all hope
I really wish I uplifted people, but I have more than definitely hurt them, angered them and lost trust from them, I have caused several arguments in the past, and I completely messed up the things I had for myself
I actually and truly hate myself, I look at myself and I am disgusted by what I see and who I am. I know I look silly by posting this stuff on here, having a complete meltdown and making a fool of myself, but I have done it several times before
I am so sorry I wasted yours and everyone elses time by posting my comments, Thank you guys for listening, but I don't think I am worth all of the hassle, or that it is still possible to help me, I am a lost cause
The easiest way to prove I'm right is to get there and see for yourself. Just hang in there and give it a chance!
My sister's father's brother's son was killed to death early in the morning in the middle of the night
Oh, well I'm sorry to hear that. Do you know the son of a bitch who killed your sister's father's brother's son?
At least your father's sister's son's brother wasn't killed to life. Not only would the sweet release of death release you instead, but your own funeral probably isn't tax deductible ?
Do you always talk like this or you just pretend wanna be Joker to show off
I mean no dissrespect, just wondering.
Seems unnecessarily judgemental for someone who says they bear no disrespect. I'll take your word that you're a better person than that.
Anyways John Doe is one of my favorite characters from Telltale, Joker or not. If you scroll up a little bit you'll see that usually I'm pretty solemn and spiritual (though I don't show that as much here) and I try to be supportive of others here while I can. If my natural style of humor comes across as a Joker wannabe, then sure I'll roll with it ?
Though if this is about the Tik Tok thread then that was a one-off shitpost thread, just like how that shitpost was a response to another shitpost.
Welcome to quarter life crisis
I don't think i have anxiety right now, i don't feel stressed or panicked at all for my heart to start racing for no reason.
I've had real anxiety before and it was different. I just had my birthday celebration on a weekend and i've been drinking lot of Coke from friday to sunday, because i really like that drink, im no alcoholic, only beer tho, im chill.
So i could barely fall asleep and i was worried, i have school and i don't need this right now.
How do you deal with this, what's the best way to make it go away, i'd like to hear your tips.
One thing i learned is that i should always feel relaxed, but with anxiety you should be more careful.
So when im in bed all i hear is my heartbeats going so fast and i have trouble falling asleep because of that.
I could panic and make it even worse but i learned my lesson to not to. I think another LiS playthrough is in order.
When i had anxiety i literally thought i was going to die, now its different, just my heart beating so fast during the night.
Its probably just from high sugar intake. I'm kinda ashamed to go to a doctor again for the similar reason.
They told me i was healthy.
Caffeine has a half-life of three hours, which means every three hours, if you don't put more in your system, your body eliminates half of what is there. If you had two Cokes three hours ago, that's like having one Coke right now. Sugar is more complicated, because it depends on what your body thinks it needs and can store for later, but if you haven't had anything since Sunday, it's pretty much out of your system by now.
Of course, you probably have had something since Sunday, in which case, all you have to do is cut back. You don't have to stop completely, and in fact, you'll probably get a headache if you do, but if you drink water instead of Coke every other time you want one, that should cut the amount in your system, and make it easier to get to sleep. Also avoid looking at screens, like a TV or computer or smartphone, in the last 30 minutes before bed. Yes, if someone wants you on social media during those 30 minutes, they can wait 'til tomorrow.
Doctors can prescribe other stuff, but they'll make you do this first, so try it so you can say you did before asking them.
I slept well today so im pretty sure it was from a damn sugar.
I literally had a glass of ice tea next to my bed. When i woke up i started to drink water and then i got a headache, not sure if it was from sleep or stoping drinking.
But i slept well so im fine and im happy it wasnt anxiety. Sometimes i wonder do always i have to go thru this or im not alone.
I just lost a close friend to anorexia...she was only 19.
3 months ago she just kinda disappeared, we thought that she needed some time on her own or something, it happens.
But today one of my friend was reading the newspaper and she saw her orbituary.
I keep thinking that maybe if I called her I could’ve make her snap out of it and start hanging out again...
Im just devastated.
Your friend was not defined by her anorexia, not even in death, and she deserves more than to be remembered by us as only a pitiful statistic of the lives that it takes. She had a lot of good qualities to be a close friend of yours, qualities only you can appreciate on this forum; she had a special worth to you that we could never touch.
I'm sorry for your loss. Everyone here understands that you feel guilty about what happened, but if you were the one writing the story that never would've happened. You clearly care about her a lot, even if there was some sort of falling out between you two in the past, and that's enough to help her rest peacefully.
I'm wishing the best for you.
I'm sorry for your loss. Don't feel guilty. You didn't know everything (and probably still don't.) Honor the better memories that you have.
I didn't want to post anything here, seeing that there are people here who's problems are way more serious than mine, but there's reallly something I'd like to get off my chest. Pardon me for getting straight to the point that fast. My mind has been troubled by some really grim thoughts for a few years now. Very often I feel like I don't deserve to live in this world, like I don't deserve anything at all(friends, love, etc.) At this moment I feel like those thoughts completely clouded my judgment of who I am or what I can do. Everything is so pointless to me, there's so little things that makes me genuienly happy or at least gives me something that resembles happiness. I distanced myself from anyone, I barely say anything during a day. It came to the point where I am terrified of people. I often think that suicide is the ony answer, and for that I just feel disgusted, disgusted and ashamed of what I am.
Anyway, that's what I wanted to get off my chest. I didn't include everything, but I'm not in the mood to add anything more right now. Hope you can understand anything in this mess I wrote.
What helps me keep my mind off of how shit this world is is setting some realistically impossible goals to keep my mind off of things, and on the off chance that the goals actually come into fruition then happy days. For me, it’s to make millions off of a fashion brand that I’m planning, so that I can one day move away from the troubles of society and maybe start a nice, peaceful, farm out in the countryside away from people. I remember when people used to pressure me into getting a job, and when people used to show off their jobs working at a McDonald’s to me, but when I turned around with full confidence and confessed that I want to live the lavish lifestyle and that’s what I’m planning ahead for, they soon turned around and supported me, giving me advice and a solid starting point. Basically, trying to separate yourself from society, aside from friends and family, and challenging the social norms head on in probably one of the best coping methods, I mean look at me, I don’t have an awful lot of money, I’m not poor, but I’m not exactly rich neither, I don’t have a girlfriend (which my opinion on whether I want one or not often shifts) and I’m not the best in social situations either, but trying to achieve what the rest of society can’t is what keeps me as stable as I possibly can be, so maybe you should give it a try also. Who knows, maybe you’ll get lucky? Just find the thing you love, even if you don’t know that you love it yet.
Change is inevitable in life and change most often makes us feel uncertain and scared. The way you're feeling is normal, so don't be too hard on yourself. Don't think of it as an end to the good times, but as a time of tons of potential opportunities for moving forward.
Most people don't know exactly what career to pursue when they go to college. The most important thing for you right now is to just get accepted somewhere you think you'd enjoy attending. College is about discovering yourself and using your newfound free time to make new friends, learn new hobbies, and save some money. It's not all going to happen all at once but just keep a positive mindset and things will fall into place.
Just stay positive and be grateful for your blessings. There's always someone worse off who would do anything to be in your position. Life is short but you're young and have many opportunities waiting for you, just do your best to be grateful and take advantage of those opportunities. I know you can do it!
If there is literally nothing that ever makes you happy, it might help to see a professional about it if you can. There may be some wacky chemical imbalance in your body, or it might just help to talk over some things and get a perspective from someone safe. At least try that before you do anything permanent.
Hey, let's be real here: your problems are never going to be too trivial for this place. It speaks volumes of the kind of support this place can give that you felt you had to preface that. I'm glad you decided to share what was troubling you.
I can't speak to you as a professional, or as someone who knows you personally. I can only speak as someone who understands that path. We can't treat depression (aside from hopefully pointing you in the right direction) as it's a meticulous journey that requires us to be able to know your troubles on a personal level (professional help exists to provide that support). I can say that when the world casts you into darkness, you strike a flame and show that it won't shadow you no matter how hard it tries. It's our natural (or God given) right to create our own light for aid and defense and anyone who tells you otherwise is deluding you in order to follow theirs. You don't need anyone to tell you that you deserve to be here or things that make you happy because the world isn't entitled to define your place or happiness for you no matter how hard it tries.
Absolutes breed more absolutes, and the more you push away any thought the stronger it grows. Suicide is an answer over 45,000 people choose annually, but just like it's untrue that it isn't an answer (despite the pain it causes), it doesn't make it the only one. It's a genuine part of human nature to consider suicide to better the people around you (whether that would be true or not) and escape pain, even if that pain is all in your head. You understand the consequences of taking your own life and how those thoughts have clouded your judgements, that's enough to contest that decision and shame will only weigh you down in dealing with that. Come to terms with what it's telling you; that doesn't mean you have to accept it. The road you want to go on is your choice and no one can take that away from you, but the road of recovery is always an answer no matter how bumpy it can get at times. Posting here is already one step down that path and I appreciate that you took steps towards it. I wish you the best on the rest of your journey in dealing with it.
Sorry for the late response Venge, change is very scary. I remember my first day of Secondary School (High School) and how much I was dreading it. On my second day, I cried that I missed my last school. It is kind of silly, but I had it so easy back then, and the thought of having to go through education in a new place with only 5 or 6 familiar faces from before terrified me, as there were 85 other people that I didn't know.
I want to be a Counsellor, either a Guidance Counsellor in a School, or an outside Service part of the national healthboard in my country. What makes me want to pursue being a counsellor is that I know how it feels to feel down, and knowing that there are other people out there, who have it far worse, or are going through the same thing as me, makes me feel sad, and I want to be able to help them, and make them feel better.
I plan on going to a local College, a Career Guidance teacher in my school recommends that I attend said College, so I am going to take up her advice and do it.
I'm being internet stalked and harassed by SOMEONE here on the forum. I don't need help but they sure as hell do, so can someone refer them to a psychiatrist? I don't feel like receiving random messages/creepy poems from them about me because I won't talk to them anymore. It's annoying and creepy as hell.
Stalkers were not taught healthy relationship boundaries, either because of emotional neglect as children or other unhealthy relationships with parents or other mentors like too much intimacy, and have a poor acceptance of the distinction between lust and love. It's only when the behavior is joined with a history of abuse that they become dangerous. Stalking alone is more due to a lack of social skills than outright malevolence. It's best to be calm and firm with placing those boundaries for them since there's a good chance they are emotionally unstable to begin with, and if they were emotionally abused anger could set them off.
I'm not certified and I get that this might be a joke though.
I hardly even know this guy and hes sending me messages like this. And this is real, hes been doing this on discord for the past couple of days until i blocked him
He had a server that I and a few others from this forum were in but closed it because I blocked him and started doing unsafe things to himself, if you get my meaning. All because I blocked him. I made a new one and he was more than welcome to join if he wanted, I just wouldn’t talk to him and he went on about how he doesnt want to join because he can just talk to me, like im his girlfriend or something. This whole thing is really annoying and super gay.
Wow, he really is into you. At first it was sounding like a joke going go far, but him hurting himself because you aren't talking to him is pretty serious. He needs to get over it, and I think he will, but in the meantime he is still taking his frustration out on himself which isn't healthy. So, just give it a few more weeks and don't talk to him whatsoever, because that is only fueling his strive towards you. And whatever he does is nothing to feel guilty about, he chose to do it himself. Just think that what you're doing now to help him move on will cause less harm to him in the future.
He’s taking the piss