Confirmed has nine letters.
Rhyiona has seven.
9 - 7 = 2.
Do you know what word has two letters?
"Is".
Join all these.
Whoa, do you see it?
"Rhyiona is confirmed."
That´s right.
Rhyiona is confirmed CONFIRMED.
My friend asked me If I could draw a meowstic for her. So I drew meowstics (they are pokemons) and a little Rhys sketch. 15 minutes later, she sends THIS picture back to me with a note "Thank you so much<3 Ps: Rhyiona has taken over your life, you know?" ;D
My friend asked me If I could draw a meowstic for her. So I drew meowstics (they are pokemons) and a little Rhys sketch. 15 minutes later, … moreshe sends THIS picture back to me with a note "Thank you so much<3 Ps: Rhyiona has taken over your life, you know?" ;D
My friend asked me If I could draw a meowstic for her. So I drew meowstics (they are pokemons) and a little Rhys sketch. 15 minutes later, … moreshe sends THIS picture back to me with a note "Thank you so much<3 Ps: Rhyiona has taken over your life, you know?" ;D
My friend asked me If I could draw a meowstic for her. So I drew meowstics (they are pokemons) and a little Rhys sketch. 15 minutes later, … moreshe sends THIS picture back to me with a note "Thank you so much<3 Ps: Rhyiona has taken over your life, you know?" ;D
Whatever I do, Rhyiona keeps showing up. Everything leads to Rhyiona. Rhyiona is my life.
(Seriously, whenever I draw something I see those faces in the picture. xD)
Rhys announced proudly, slinging an arm around Fiona as she rolled her eyes at his excitement.
"Ohhh, don´t piss yourself in excitement, kid."
Jack didn´t even look at him, too focused on the TV, but still somehow interested enough to mock him.
"Well, excuse me," Rhys started, indignantly, "I haven´t had a real date in ages. It´s been complicated with the kids."
Loader Bot immediately started crying.
"Does father not love us anymore?"
Fiona gave him a stern look and Jack just laughed histerically. Rhys cursed under his breath before patting Loader Bot on the head awkwardly.
"Aw, come on, son, you know it´s not like that."
Loader Bot eyed him with betrayal in his eye.
"Father... father please."
Rhys didn´t know what to do.
"How- how can I help, Loader?"
Loader Bot pondered for a minute and Rhys could see Fiona tap her watch in a silent ´hurry the fuck up´ motion.
"Get me a chocolate sundae!"
Rhys sighed in relief.
"Okay, okay, kid. I´ll bring one for you and one for Gortys."
Gortys just turned its back on them moodily and Rhys frowned.
"I know you´re upset we´re leaving, Gortys. I swear it won´t be for long."
It didn´t reply and Rhys figured it´d get over it when they got back. He went back to the entrance to stand by his wife´s side and she nudged him with her elbow.
"Gortys is young, it´ll pass. We just haven´t left before."
Rhys still felt dejected.
"I still feel like shit."
Fiona shrugged.
"Yeah, no surprised there."
And with that, she opened the door and left ahead of him.
"What the- what´s that supposed to mean?!"
He rubbed his temples with both hands, turning to face his adoptive father.
"You know, you´re in charge of them while we´re gone, right?"
"Yeah, yeah," the man dismissed, "I kn- wait what? I´m fucking babysitting?!"
"Yep." Rhys said, matter-of-factly.
"You didn´t even ask!"
"It´s your responsibility. They´re your grandkids."
"This is ridiculous!" Jack waved his arms around, "You get to have a good time while I freaking take care of your mess?! Don´t think I didn´t notice she took off the hat! If she took off the hat then it´s serious!"
Rhys felt himself turn red before turning his back on Jack.
"Whatever, it´s your job, like it or not. Goodbye."
And he left without letting Jack reply.
"What the fuck."
"You little shits, stay still!"
Loader Bot kept hitting his sibling with a pillow while Gortys, smaller and with absolutely no chance of winning on a strength contest, opted by throwing juice on its brother.
"You´re gonna make your brother have a short-circuit, god damn it!"
Jack pulled his hair with his hands before he had an idea.
"Heh, I´m gonna call those two assholes over and have them do the dirty work. I´m a genius. Yeah."
When Bigby and Kenny knocked on the door, the living room was already half destroyed but Jack figured it was better than nothing.
"What the hell is going on here? I have better things to do than be here."
Bigby seemed moody for some reason.
"Yeah well this is your number one priority now, cupcake, so get the hell in."
Jack closed the door and pushed them both in forcefully.
"Man," Kenny looked around, "they ain´t gonna be happy when they´re back."
"And that´s why you´re also helping me clean up."
"We didn´t fucking agree to any of this!" Kenny jabbed a finger on Jack´s chest.
"Yeah, if you don´t help me I´ll tell Duck just what his father likes doing to boats in detail."
Kenny gasped, his face paling.
"You wouldn´t!"
"Try me." Jack grinned triumphantly.
"And why should I stay?" Bigby crossed his arms.
"I´ll tell Snow you fucking break into her house, steal her clothes and keep them in your creep room."
Bigby became paler than Kenny before nodding curtly.
"Uh. Okay, deal."
Jack puffed his chest.
"That´s more like it. That´s what friends are for, yeah?"
"He...won´t fucking stop crying, what do I do?"
Jack shook Loader Bot desperately as he continued crying.
"I want my father!"
"Yeah, your dad´s out. With your mother, probably making you another sibling." he made a disgusted face but kept going, "You know what that means? That you´re staying with me. And if you´re staying with me you´re gonna have to shut the hell up."
Kenny watched in amusement while Bigby dejectely stared at Snow´s number on his phone.
"Are you two gonna help me or what?!"
Jack waved his hands dramatically and pointed at the crying robot.
"Nah." Kenny shrugged.
"I have," Bigby almost sobbed, "other things to worry about."
Jack scoffed and grit his teeth at their dismissal.
"You two are freaking useless. Babysitters my ass. More like Jack does everything in this fucking house."
"Well," Kenny chugged down his drink, "you are their grandfather. You deal with them."
Jack felt like murdering him.
"I thought we had a deal! Or am I gonna have to tell your loved ones that you guys have naughty secrets?!"
Kenny and Bigby got up at the speed of light.
"Kenny, get Gortys, I´ll deal with Loader Bot."
Jack leaned against the wall as the two wrestled with the moody robots.
"Heh, get them to bed guys."
"Bed?" Loader Bot gasped, "It´s only six!"
"I said," Jack spat, "bed!"
"Only if you read me a story! Auntie Sasha always reads me Twilight! I want auntie, where is she?!"
"Yeah, where is she, Jack?" Bigby suddenly questioned. "And where´s Vaughn, while we´re at it?"
"Like hell if I know! They left these two on me!"
"I think I heard Vaughn talk about some gaming tournament or something... Sasha´s into that shit, buncha nerds, I´m guessing they went together. Hope they get their asses kicked." Kenny shook his head.
"What about my Twilight?!"
"Jesus fucking Christ kid I´ll read you some Twilight." Kenny begrudginly offered.
"Yay!"
"Whatever, just take them upstairs and be done with this." Jack moved to sit on the couch and channel surfed till he found a documentary about the savannah.
Bigby headed downstairs faster than Kenny, the latter busy with entertaining the kids, and raised his eyebrows at the TV.
"You like wild life documentaries? You?"
"Yeah!" Jack pointed, "Look at that lion ripping that zebra´s throat out. Fucking awesome!"
"Oh. Shouldda known."
It didn´t take long for Kenny to come back, tears in his eyes.
"The hell happened?" Bigby asked, visibly disinterested and scrolling through his phone contacts.
"Man, Twilight gave me so many feels..."
"Get lost, loser." Jack waved him off.
"Fuck you!"
"Yes!" Bigby suddenly exclaimed, staring at his phone, "I have the best idea!"
"Which is?" Kenny raised an eyebrow.
"I can call Snow over, show her how well we babysat those kids and then she´ll totally fall for me and how good I am with kids. Score! She loves children!"
"Uh, what? I did the most babysitting, you asshole." Kenny reminded him.
"I´m totally doing that!"
And with that, he moved away from them, already calling her. Jack and Kenny looked at each other with nausea.
"He´s too fuckin´ whipped." Kenny stroked his beard.
"Disgustingly whipped." Jack nodded.
"Yes!" Bigby came back running, a shit eating grin present on his face, "She´s coming over to see for herself! I´m gonna go check on the kids to see if everything´s fine and dandy and then I´m gonna get some Snow when she sees how well I did!"
Neither Kenny or Jack had any time to process what was happening between Bigby finishing his sentence and running upstairs but they did hear a girly, blood curling scream that they couldn´t believe had come out of the gruff man´s mouth.
"They´re gone!" Bigby almost tripped down the stairs.
"They´re gone?" Kenny sounded confused.
"They´re gone! Gone with the wind, whatever you wanna call it, they freaking escaped through the window!"
"Wait, wait, wait, how did that happen?! How did they not die from the fall?" Jack was starting to panic, something that didn´t happen often. The other two would´ve laughed if they weren´t in deep shit too.
"Loader Bot can fly, genius, he´s a robot!" Bigby facepalmed.
"Oh, right."
"What now?" Bigby freaked out again, "Snow´s coming over too and Rhys and Fiona will be back in a few hours. We gotta hurry the hell up and find them."
"Well," Jack struck a dramatic pose, "It´s time for some kid hunting."
On that note, they were out the door in a second.
"Wait," Jack stopped, "Bigs, you should stay behind to distract her."
"What?!" Bigby sweated nervously, "How do I do that?!"
Jack scoffed.
"I don´t fucking know, you´re the one who called her over, charm her! Otherwise she´s gonna get here and there´s no one to answer and she´s gonna think you were making fun of her. You don´t want that right?"
Bigby shook his head fiercely.
"No, no, the last thing I want is for my beloved Snow to hate me... don´t hate me Snow."
He was starting to sob again and Jack kicked his behind inside the house again.
"Have fun!" Kenny snorted as they left.
Jack and Kenny looked around the house expecting little success before Kenny suddenly had an idea.
"Yo, Jack?"
"What?"
"There´s a bus stop right ahead. Maybe they went for it?"
"Why the hell would they need a bus if Loader Bot can fly?"
"Because he fucking makes noise when he flies and if he did that for long we´d have heard him leave. If they wanna get anywhere silently they gotta take transportation."
"This is fucking stupid but whatever, let´s check it out."
Jack´s jaw almost dropped when they saw the two robots getting into a bus in the distance.
"YO, HOLD UP!" Kenny screamed and waved his hands around.
"Yeah, we wanna get on too!" Jack agreed, slightly lower toned.
The bus driver ignored them and passed by them.
",,,Why do these assholes always do this?"
"Let´s just follow it, call a fucking taxi, Jack."
"Why should I call one, you do it!"
"You´re their grandfather, you´re the ones who´s gonna have to listen to Rhys and Fiona´s anger so do whatever you want."
"Fuck." Jack had no counter argument.
The taxi got there so fast that neither of them were sure how the driver was still allowed to work.
"I dunno man, I´m kinda scared to go in the car with a speed racer..."
Jack forced Kenny in with a kick before turning to the driver.
"Follow that bus!"
The driver looked at him confused.
"What bus, sir?"
"Just fucking drive till you find a bus. I´m paying you!"
"...Yes, sir."
Back at the house, Bigby could hear the faint knocking on the door and he slowly got up to open it. Snow was standing there, hands folded on her lap, smiling.
"Hey," she greeted, "how are you doing."
"Uh," he squeaked out, unsure, "g-good! For sure!"
"Where are Jack and Kenny? I heard them in the background over the phone."
Bigby mentally cursed for not moving further away. Or for Jack and Kenny´s loudness. Assholes.
"They... they went to buy more beer. Yeah. We were running out."
She frowned.
"You sure you should be drinking when you´re taking care of children?"
Bigby tried to fix the situation quickly.
"O-oh but they´re sleeping already!"
"Oh," she resumed smiling, "can I see them? I love sleeping children."
"U-um, yeah, in a bit!" he grabbed her wrist, "Just come with me first, I have the coolest thing to show you!"
She raised her eyebrows but didn´t try to argue, which was a good sign.
"Hurry the hell up, guys." Bigby muttered under his breath.
.------------------
"Sir."
The bus driver sounded a bit terrified.
"The hell is it now?" Jack asked irately.
"I... look ahead, sir."
Kenny gasped and Jack pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation.
"You gotta be freaking kidding me."
There were at least five identical buses passing by each other.
"How is this possible? Did you lose track of which one it was?" Kenny tried.
"Yes, sir... they all look the same."
"Okay," Jack thought for a minute, "alright. That one."
He pointed to the bus turning on the far left of the road.
"Why?" Kenny didn´t get it.
"Because it´s going towards the carnival area. They haven´t stopped talking about that crap for days now. My ears bleed every time they bring it up. Gotta be that one."
"To the carnival area." the bus driver commented.
"Why aren´t you letting me see the kids?"
Snow was getting suspicious now and Bigby felt trapped.
"I... why would you wanna s-see the kids when I´m much more interesting, baby?"
She slapped him.
"Don´t be gross, you jerk. Tell me what´s happening."
He really had no way out so he decided his best bet was to invent something on the spot.
"...I didn´t babysit any kids. I just wanted an excuse to call you over. You wouldn´t come to my own house so..."
She looked furious.
"You made me come all the way here for this?! Goodbye! We´ll talk about this later."
Oh. Oh, wrong thing to say.
"Snow, wait a-"
She slammed the door in his face on the way out.
"God damn it can something go right for me once?!"
"There!" Kenny pointed excitedly, "You were right, I see them getting out of the bus!"
"Of course I was right." Jack added smugly, "I´m always right."
"Shut up. Let´s go!"
And out the taxi they went.
"S-sirs? What about my payment?"
They didn´t hear him.
"Aha!" Jack grabbed Gortys´ hand and it squeaked and reverted back into a ball, "Gotcha, little shit."
"Back home you go." Kenny yawned tiredly, "You had enough of an adventure for one day, kids."
Loader Bot almost cried himself to sleep.
They had to call another taxi to head home; the other driver nowhere to be seen, having left a note behind calling them ´cheap scumbags´ but eventually they arrived and Bigby was laying on the couch, about ten beers around him.
"Hiiiiiii guys," he waved, "had fun? Heh."
"Wow, we go out hunting children while you get drunk. Look who had the good side of the deal tonight."
Bigby gasped so dramatically it seemed fake but it really wasn´t.
"Good side? Snow fucking hates me."
He started crying again.
It was at that moment Rhys and Fiona decided to come back and Jack almost sighed in relief at their perfect timing.
"Soooo, did you assholes have fun?" Kenny wiggled his eyebrows.
Fiona made a ´hmph´ and Rhys just blushed.
"Mother! Father!" Loader Bot hugged them by the waist and Gortys turned its head away.
"Hey guys!" Rhys hugged him back and attempted to bring Gortys closer, but it slapped his hand away and he teared up.
"My child hates me." he broke down sobbing and Bigby joined him.
Fiona rolled her eyes.
"Did everything go well here? Besides the obvious... destroying of our house but I´m used to this already."
Jack whistled.
"Oh, it went smoooothly."
"Father!" Loader Bot suddenly piped up, "Did you bring me my sundae?"
Rhys cursed out loud and Fiona punched him.
"Not in front of the kids!"
"Sorry, sorry! I... I forgot, Loader... I was too busy with-" he blushed, "Dad just forgot alr-"
Loader Bot threw himself on the ground and hit his fists in a banter.
"I knew father didn´t love me."
Kenny watched the scene and grabbed one of Bigby´s beers.
Tales from the Atlas Coffee Shop
Episode two: Babysitting on the fence.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WidEcTA_pKM
"We´re going out… more on a date!"
Rhys announced proudly, slinging an arm around Fiona as she rolled her eyes at his excitement.
"Ohhh, don´t piss yourself in excitement, kid."
Jack didn´t even look at him, too focused on the TV, but still somehow interested enough to mock him.
"Well, excuse me," Rhys started, indignantly, "I haven´t had a real date in ages. It´s been complicated with the kids."
Loader Bot immediately started crying.
"Does father not love us anymore?"
Fiona gave him a stern look and Jack just laughed histerically. Rhys cursed under his breath before patting Loader Bot on the head awkwardly.
"Aw, come on, son, you know it´s not like that."
Loader Bot eyed him with betrayal in his eye.
"Father... father please."
Rhys didn´t know what to do.
"How- how can I help, Loader?"
L… [view original content]
Whatever I do, Rhyiona keeps showing up. Everything leads to Rhyiona. Rhyiona is my life.
(Seriously, whenever I draw something I see those faces in the picture. xD)
Comments
Amen.
It's pretty clear who the major ship on this forum is eh? ^-^
Preach it brutha
thank you!
Will do! I hope next one will come out more neat.
Confirmed has nine letters.
Rhyiona has seven.
9 - 7 = 2.
Do you know what word has two letters?
"Is".
Join all these.
Whoa, do you see it?
"Rhyiona is confirmed."
That´s right.
Rhyiona is confirmed CONFIRMED.
Hey Wolfie, do you have that gif with Rhys reaction to Fiona saying they are friends laying around? ;3
These?
If you want no giant dialogue. ^^
No problem.
Yes, thank you very much
Rhyiona is like air, you know why?
Because you need it to survive.
Jesus, if you consider this to be sloppy, I would love to see stuff that you rate higher on the effort scale...
This is phenomenal!
My friend asked me If I could draw a meowstic for her. So I drew meowstics (they are pokemons) and a little Rhys sketch. 15 minutes later, she sends THIS picture back to me with a note "Thank you so much<3 Ps: Rhyiona has taken over your life, you know?" ;D
ALL MY YES.
Thank you!
He looks pretty cool when he catches the stun baton as well, but then he ruins it by fangirling out about it.
He needs to take some hero lessons to learn how to keep his cool in badass situations.
Lesson 1:
It's glorious.
Brilliant.
11/10 will work
Finally made my decision.
EDIT: LOL WHYD I PUT MY GENDER AS FEMALE
We'll see in 6 months.
if they don´t accept it start preparing the blow torches
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Or we could get out the stun batons.
sry
Whatever I do, Rhyiona keeps showing up. Everything leads to Rhyiona. Rhyiona is my life.
(Seriously, whenever I draw something I see those faces in the picture. xD)
Tales from the Atlas Coffee Shop
Episode two: Babysitting on the fence.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WidEcTA_pKM
"We´re going out on a date!"
Rhys announced proudly, slinging an arm around Fiona as she rolled her eyes at his excitement.
"Ohhh, don´t piss yourself in excitement, kid."
Jack didn´t even look at him, too focused on the TV, but still somehow interested enough to mock him.
"Well, excuse me," Rhys started, indignantly, "I haven´t had a real date in ages. It´s been complicated with the kids."
Loader Bot immediately started crying.
"Does father not love us anymore?"
Fiona gave him a stern look and Jack just laughed histerically. Rhys cursed under his breath before patting Loader Bot on the head awkwardly.
"Aw, come on, son, you know it´s not like that."
Loader Bot eyed him with betrayal in his eye.
"Father... father please."
Rhys didn´t know what to do.
"How- how can I help, Loader?"
Loader Bot pondered for a minute and Rhys could see Fiona tap her watch in a silent ´hurry the fuck up´ motion.
"Get me a chocolate sundae!"
Rhys sighed in relief.
"Okay, okay, kid. I´ll bring one for you and one for Gortys."
Gortys just turned its back on them moodily and Rhys frowned.
"I know you´re upset we´re leaving, Gortys. I swear it won´t be for long."
It didn´t reply and Rhys figured it´d get over it when they got back. He went back to the entrance to stand by his wife´s side and she nudged him with her elbow.
"Gortys is young, it´ll pass. We just haven´t left before."
Rhys still felt dejected.
"I still feel like shit."
Fiona shrugged.
"Yeah, no surprised there."
And with that, she opened the door and left ahead of him.
"What the- what´s that supposed to mean?!"
He rubbed his temples with both hands, turning to face his adoptive father.
"You know, you´re in charge of them while we´re gone, right?"
"Yeah, yeah," the man dismissed, "I kn- wait what? I´m fucking babysitting?!"
"Yep." Rhys said, matter-of-factly.
"You didn´t even ask!"
"It´s your responsibility. They´re your grandkids."
"This is ridiculous!" Jack waved his arms around, "You get to have a good time while I freaking take care of your mess?! Don´t think I didn´t notice she took off the hat! If she took off the hat then it´s serious!"
Rhys felt himself turn red before turning his back on Jack.
"Whatever, it´s your job, like it or not. Goodbye."
And he left without letting Jack reply.
"What the fuck."
"You little shits, stay still!"
Loader Bot kept hitting his sibling with a pillow while Gortys, smaller and with absolutely no chance of winning on a strength contest, opted by throwing juice on its brother.
"You´re gonna make your brother have a short-circuit, god damn it!"
Jack pulled his hair with his hands before he had an idea.
"Heh, I´m gonna call those two assholes over and have them do the dirty work. I´m a genius. Yeah."
When Bigby and Kenny knocked on the door, the living room was already half destroyed but Jack figured it was better than nothing.
"What the hell is going on here? I have better things to do than be here."
Bigby seemed moody for some reason.
"Yeah well this is your number one priority now, cupcake, so get the hell in."
Jack closed the door and pushed them both in forcefully.
"Man," Kenny looked around, "they ain´t gonna be happy when they´re back."
"And that´s why you´re also helping me clean up."
"We didn´t fucking agree to any of this!" Kenny jabbed a finger on Jack´s chest.
"Yeah, if you don´t help me I´ll tell Duck just what his father likes doing to boats in detail."
Kenny gasped, his face paling.
"You wouldn´t!"
"Try me." Jack grinned triumphantly.
"And why should I stay?" Bigby crossed his arms.
"I´ll tell Snow you fucking break into her house, steal her clothes and keep them in your creep room."
Bigby became paler than Kenny before nodding curtly.
"Uh. Okay, deal."
Jack puffed his chest.
"That´s more like it. That´s what friends are for, yeah?"
"He...won´t fucking stop crying, what do I do?"
Jack shook Loader Bot desperately as he continued crying.
"I want my father!"
"Yeah, your dad´s out. With your mother, probably making you another sibling." he made a disgusted face but kept going, "You know what that means? That you´re staying with me. And if you´re staying with me you´re gonna have to shut the hell up."
Kenny watched in amusement while Bigby dejectely stared at Snow´s number on his phone.
"Are you two gonna help me or what?!"
Jack waved his hands dramatically and pointed at the crying robot.
"Nah." Kenny shrugged.
"I have," Bigby almost sobbed, "other things to worry about."
Jack scoffed and grit his teeth at their dismissal.
"You two are freaking useless. Babysitters my ass. More like Jack does everything in this fucking house."
"Well," Kenny chugged down his drink, "you are their grandfather. You deal with them."
Jack felt like murdering him.
"I thought we had a deal! Or am I gonna have to tell your loved ones that you guys have naughty secrets?!"
Kenny and Bigby got up at the speed of light.
"Kenny, get Gortys, I´ll deal with Loader Bot."
Jack leaned against the wall as the two wrestled with the moody robots.
"Heh, get them to bed guys."
"Bed?" Loader Bot gasped, "It´s only six!"
"I said," Jack spat, "bed!"
"Only if you read me a story! Auntie Sasha always reads me Twilight! I want auntie, where is she?!"
"Yeah, where is she, Jack?" Bigby suddenly questioned. "And where´s Vaughn, while we´re at it?"
"Like hell if I know! They left these two on me!"
"I think I heard Vaughn talk about some gaming tournament or something... Sasha´s into that shit, buncha nerds, I´m guessing they went together. Hope they get their asses kicked." Kenny shook his head.
"What about my Twilight?!"
"Jesus fucking Christ kid I´ll read you some Twilight." Kenny begrudginly offered.
"Yay!"
"Whatever, just take them upstairs and be done with this." Jack moved to sit on the couch and channel surfed till he found a documentary about the savannah.
Bigby headed downstairs faster than Kenny, the latter busy with entertaining the kids, and raised his eyebrows at the TV.
"You like wild life documentaries? You?"
"Yeah!" Jack pointed, "Look at that lion ripping that zebra´s throat out. Fucking awesome!"
"Oh. Shouldda known."
It didn´t take long for Kenny to come back, tears in his eyes.
"The hell happened?" Bigby asked, visibly disinterested and scrolling through his phone contacts.
"Man, Twilight gave me so many feels..."
"Get lost, loser." Jack waved him off.
"Fuck you!"
"Yes!" Bigby suddenly exclaimed, staring at his phone, "I have the best idea!"
"Which is?" Kenny raised an eyebrow.
"I can call Snow over, show her how well we babysat those kids and then she´ll totally fall for me and how good I am with kids. Score! She loves children!"
"Uh, what? I did the most babysitting, you asshole." Kenny reminded him.
"I´m totally doing that!"
And with that, he moved away from them, already calling her. Jack and Kenny looked at each other with nausea.
"He´s too fuckin´ whipped." Kenny stroked his beard.
"Disgustingly whipped." Jack nodded.
"Yes!" Bigby came back running, a shit eating grin present on his face, "She´s coming over to see for herself! I´m gonna go check on the kids to see if everything´s fine and dandy and then I´m gonna get some Snow when she sees how well I did!"
Neither Kenny or Jack had any time to process what was happening between Bigby finishing his sentence and running upstairs but they did hear a girly, blood curling scream that they couldn´t believe had come out of the gruff man´s mouth.
"They´re gone!" Bigby almost tripped down the stairs.
"They´re gone?" Kenny sounded confused.
"They´re gone! Gone with the wind, whatever you wanna call it, they freaking escaped through the window!"
"Wait, wait, wait, how did that happen?! How did they not die from the fall?" Jack was starting to panic, something that didn´t happen often. The other two would´ve laughed if they weren´t in deep shit too.
"Loader Bot can fly, genius, he´s a robot!" Bigby facepalmed.
"Oh, right."
"What now?" Bigby freaked out again, "Snow´s coming over too and Rhys and Fiona will be back in a few hours. We gotta hurry the hell up and find them."
"Well," Jack struck a dramatic pose, "It´s time for some kid hunting."
On that note, they were out the door in a second.
"Wait," Jack stopped, "Bigs, you should stay behind to distract her."
"What?!" Bigby sweated nervously, "How do I do that?!"
Jack scoffed.
"I don´t fucking know, you´re the one who called her over, charm her! Otherwise she´s gonna get here and there´s no one to answer and she´s gonna think you were making fun of her. You don´t want that right?"
Bigby shook his head fiercely.
"No, no, the last thing I want is for my beloved Snow to hate me... don´t hate me Snow."
He was starting to sob again and Jack kicked his behind inside the house again.
"Have fun!" Kenny snorted as they left.
Jack and Kenny looked around the house expecting little success before Kenny suddenly had an idea.
"Yo, Jack?"
"What?"
"There´s a bus stop right ahead. Maybe they went for it?"
"Why the hell would they need a bus if Loader Bot can fly?"
"Because he fucking makes noise when he flies and if he did that for long we´d have heard him leave. If they wanna get anywhere silently they gotta take transportation."
"This is fucking stupid but whatever, let´s check it out."
Jack´s jaw almost dropped when they saw the two robots getting into a bus in the distance.
"YO, HOLD UP!" Kenny screamed and waved his hands around.
"Yeah, we wanna get on too!" Jack agreed, slightly lower toned.
The bus driver ignored them and passed by them.
",,,Why do these assholes always do this?"
"Let´s just follow it, call a fucking taxi, Jack."
"Why should I call one, you do it!"
"You´re their grandfather, you´re the ones who´s gonna have to listen to Rhys and Fiona´s anger so do whatever you want."
"Fuck." Jack had no counter argument.
The taxi got there so fast that neither of them were sure how the driver was still allowed to work.
"I dunno man, I´m kinda scared to go in the car with a speed racer..."
Jack forced Kenny in with a kick before turning to the driver.
"Follow that bus!"
The driver looked at him confused.
"What bus, sir?"
"Just fucking drive till you find a bus. I´m paying you!"
"...Yes, sir."
Back at the house, Bigby could hear the faint knocking on the door and he slowly got up to open it. Snow was standing there, hands folded on her lap, smiling.
"Hey," she greeted, "how are you doing."
"Uh," he squeaked out, unsure, "g-good! For sure!"
"Where are Jack and Kenny? I heard them in the background over the phone."
Bigby mentally cursed for not moving further away. Or for Jack and Kenny´s loudness. Assholes.
"They... they went to buy more beer. Yeah. We were running out."
She frowned.
"You sure you should be drinking when you´re taking care of children?"
Bigby tried to fix the situation quickly.
"O-oh but they´re sleeping already!"
"Oh," she resumed smiling, "can I see them? I love sleeping children."
"U-um, yeah, in a bit!" he grabbed her wrist, "Just come with me first, I have the coolest thing to show you!"
She raised her eyebrows but didn´t try to argue, which was a good sign.
"Hurry the hell up, guys." Bigby muttered under his breath.
.------------------
"Sir."
The bus driver sounded a bit terrified.
"The hell is it now?" Jack asked irately.
"I... look ahead, sir."
Kenny gasped and Jack pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation.
"You gotta be freaking kidding me."
There were at least five identical buses passing by each other.
"How is this possible? Did you lose track of which one it was?" Kenny tried.
"Yes, sir... they all look the same."
"Okay," Jack thought for a minute, "alright. That one."
He pointed to the bus turning on the far left of the road.
"Why?" Kenny didn´t get it.
"Because it´s going towards the carnival area. They haven´t stopped talking about that crap for days now. My ears bleed every time they bring it up. Gotta be that one."
"To the carnival area." the bus driver commented.
"Why aren´t you letting me see the kids?"
Snow was getting suspicious now and Bigby felt trapped.
"I... why would you wanna s-see the kids when I´m much more interesting, baby?"
She slapped him.
"Don´t be gross, you jerk. Tell me what´s happening."
He really had no way out so he decided his best bet was to invent something on the spot.
"...I didn´t babysit any kids. I just wanted an excuse to call you over. You wouldn´t come to my own house so..."
She looked furious.
"You made me come all the way here for this?! Goodbye! We´ll talk about this later."
Oh. Oh, wrong thing to say.
"Snow, wait a-"
She slammed the door in his face on the way out.
"God damn it can something go right for me once?!"
"There!" Kenny pointed excitedly, "You were right, I see them getting out of the bus!"
"Of course I was right." Jack added smugly, "I´m always right."
"Shut up. Let´s go!"
And out the taxi they went.
"S-sirs? What about my payment?"
They didn´t hear him.
"Aha!" Jack grabbed Gortys´ hand and it squeaked and reverted back into a ball, "Gotcha, little shit."
"Back home you go." Kenny yawned tiredly, "You had enough of an adventure for one day, kids."
Loader Bot almost cried himself to sleep.
They had to call another taxi to head home; the other driver nowhere to be seen, having left a note behind calling them ´cheap scumbags´ but eventually they arrived and Bigby was laying on the couch, about ten beers around him.
"Hiiiiiii guys," he waved, "had fun? Heh."
"Wow, we go out hunting children while you get drunk. Look who had the good side of the deal tonight."
Bigby gasped so dramatically it seemed fake but it really wasn´t.
"Good side? Snow fucking hates me."
He started crying again.
It was at that moment Rhys and Fiona decided to come back and Jack almost sighed in relief at their perfect timing.
"Soooo, did you assholes have fun?" Kenny wiggled his eyebrows.
Fiona made a ´hmph´ and Rhys just blushed.
"Mother! Father!" Loader Bot hugged them by the waist and Gortys turned its head away.
"Hey guys!" Rhys hugged him back and attempted to bring Gortys closer, but it slapped his hand away and he teared up.
"My child hates me." he broke down sobbing and Bigby joined him.
Fiona rolled her eyes.
"Did everything go well here? Besides the obvious... destroying of our house but I´m used to this already."
Jack whistled.
"Oh, it went smoooothly."
"Father!" Loader Bot suddenly piped up, "Did you bring me my sundae?"
Rhys cursed out loud and Fiona punched him.
"Not in front of the kids!"
"Sorry, sorry! I... I forgot, Loader... I was too busy with-" he blushed, "Dad just forgot alr-"
Loader Bot threw himself on the ground and hit his fists in a banter.
"I knew father didn´t love me."
Kenny watched the scene and grabbed one of Bigby´s beers.
"I need a drink."
-
Collab work between me, @bloop and @Poogers555.
Sorry that these take a while but they´re a lot more work than you´d think.
My friend is brilliant. She always teases me about TFTBL.
Bigby be like:
Aww thanks!
This wasn't suppose to be anything Tales related but now I don't want to take those faces off haha
Maybe stun batons with fire elements?
trolling Bigby 2k15
That's a good thing. Remember: Rhyiona is love, Rhyiona is life.
Poor Bigs.