It's anyone's guess since I've been busy, but I'll try to get started on it and hopefully have it finished soon or later. No exact dates planned. Sorry.
On a side note, I have the chapter mostly planned out.
In the mean time, while I work on the next chapter, I'd like to ask a series of questions. Feel free to ignore them if you don't wish to participate, or skip ones you don't want to answer.
Who is your favorite character and why?
Who is your least favorite character and why?
What characters would you like to see more of and why?
What characters' stories do you find the most intriguing and would want to be explored more throughout the story?
Are there any things you felt didn't work in the previous chapter?
Are there any things you want to see more of that didn't see much light in the previous chapter?
What are some settings or plot points you would like to see?
Do you have any suggestions or criticisms to help improve the story? (Grammar corrections, habits I have when writing, etc.)
Who is your favorite character and why?
Kayla she is verry sympathic (I dont really know why)
Who is your least favorite character and why?
I dont really have one till now
What characters would you like to see more of and why?
Samntha because i like her part the most its the most interesting because the missing of Luke ist interesting mostly because of the very good prolog
What characters' stories do you find the most intriguing and would want to be explored more throughout the story?
As i just wrote Lukes story because of the prolog that makes you want to know more
Are there any things you felt didn't work in the previous chapter?
Nope everything was cool
Are there any things you want to see more of that didn't see much light in the previous chapter?
How Alex died and what happende before the prolog started
What are some settings or plot points you would like to see?
All in all just more points of view maybe
Do you have any suggestions or criticisms to help improve the story?
Well you could use my character that would make the story even better. Just kidding everything is good XD
In the mean time, while I work on the next chapter, I'd like to ask a series of questions. Feel free to ignore them if you don't wish to par… moreticipate, or skip ones you don't want to answer.
Who is your favorite character and why?
Who is your least favorite character and why?
What characters would you like to see more of and why?
What characters' stories do you find the most intriguing and would want to be explored more throughout the story?
Are there any things you felt didn't work in the previous chapter?
Are there any things you want to see more of that didn't see much light in the previous chapter?
What are some settings or plot points you would like to see?
Do you have any suggestions or criticisms to help improve the story? (Grammar corrections, habits I have when writing, etc.)
Who is your favourite character and why?-Samantha Jones, she seems the most interesting at the moment and the best stuff happens from her point of view.
Who is your least favourite character and why?-Clive Carson, I may end up liking him as the story progresses but at the moment he doesn't seem that interesting he's kind of bland to me.
What characters would you like to see more of and why?-Thomas Callahan and Rachael Carson, Thomas because I really like his character and find myself wanting more of him. Rachael because I think her character is gonna get pretty interesting soon especially after what happened to Alexander.
What characters' do you find the most intriguing and would want to be explored more throughout the story?-Henry Parker and Samantha Jones, Henry seems to be right in the middle of whatevers going on plus I really like him. I'm curious as to where Samantha's story is going particularly because of the clear bond and connection she has with Luke.
Are there any things you felt didn't work in the previous chapter?-I don't have any problems with the previous chapter I think it went fairly smoothly.
Are any things you want to see more of that didn't see much light in the previous chapter?-I think we need to see more of Samantha's relationship with Luke it's not really clear what he is to her.
What are some settings or plot points you would like to see? I want to see more of the Highschool it happens to have the most interesting and likable characters, plus I've always loved High School settings.
Do you have any suggestions or criticisms to help improve the story?- I'd suggest delving deeper into characters personalitys (particualary Clive Carson) I feel like we didn't really get to know what they're like or how they view things.
In the mean time, while I work on the next chapter, I'd like to ask a series of questions. Feel free to ignore them if you don't wish to par… moreticipate, or skip ones you don't want to answer.
Who is your favorite character and why?
Who is your least favorite character and why?
What characters would you like to see more of and why?
What characters' stories do you find the most intriguing and would want to be explored more throughout the story?
Are there any things you felt didn't work in the previous chapter?
Are there any things you want to see more of that didn't see much light in the previous chapter?
What are some settings or plot points you would like to see?
Do you have any suggestions or criticisms to help improve the story? (Grammar corrections, habits I have when writing, etc.)
Ah, it's question time Some of these questions are quite hard for me to answer after one chapter, but I'll try my best.
Who is your favorite character and why?
So far I enjoyed Thomas the most, because I find him to be very interesting as a character. Other favourites of mine include Henry for being the most involved with the investigation and Rachel because bias (and because she's awesome). The most interesting storyline goes to Samantha, but I didn't find her character to be that interesting in Chapter 1.
Who is your least favorite character and why?
Clive and that's absolutely fine for me, because he is exactly how I imagined him and intended him to be. Of course, I know he has some good qualities as well, but his childish and irresponsible attitude when dealing with his daughter really made me dislike him. That said, I'm looking forward for his reaction to Alexander's death, this might be able to give me a better opinion on him.
What characters would you like to see more of and why?
Rachel? Here's hoping I also really enjoyed Thomas and wouldn't mind to see more of him, since his character is the most interesting for me right now. Samantha is also very interesting for me, but that is probably more a result of her story than her actual character. But I found Kayla to be a very fascinating character as well.
What characters' stories do you find the most intriguing and would want to be explored more throughout the story?
Is all of them a viable answer? I think now that Alex is dead, how Clive and Rachel deal with that could be very interesting. I'd also like to learn more about Samantha and the nature of the visions she got, she had probably the most interesting story in general in chapter 1.
Are there any things you felt didn't work in the previous chapter?
Nope, none that I could recall. Everything worked fine for me. The atmosphere was great and you managed to introduce the characters very well. I liked the pacing of the chapter, even though it was over sooner than I hoped.
Are there any things you want to see more of that didn't see much light in the previous chapter?
The supernatural themes and Alexander's death. Of course, I doubt we'll get much more explanations to either of these in Chapter 2 already, but perhaps a few answers (and a lot more questions, because questions are great) would be nice.
What are some settings or plot points you would like to see?
Hm, drastically different settings will be hard to pull off in a rural small town, but I'd like to see more of the forest, since that's probably the most creepy part of the whole area. I really enjoy the Silicon setting so far and the creepy small-town atmosphere it creates. As with plot points... hard to say. Are more PoV's a plot point? I'd also like to see how the remaining Carson family reacts to Alex' death and what Samantha and her friends are finding on their search for Luke. I guess that's pretty much the same answer I gave for question 4.
Do you have any suggestions or criticisms to help improve the story?
As someone with mediocre grammar and quite obvious habits when writing a text, I am not the best person to give advice when it comes to your writing style, which is superb by the way. Perhaps the only thing which I noticed was that some (by no means all) of the characters, Kyle and Clyde in the last part for example, got no real description of their looks, but that's only minor nitpicking of course. A bit more character development can never hurt, but that was pretty good in the introductory chapter already. Perhaps the second chapter should be longer, as that also means that the story in general will be longer, which is always great.
In the mean time, while I work on the next chapter, I'd like to ask a series of questions. Feel free to ignore them if you don't wish to par… moreticipate, or skip ones you don't want to answer.
Who is your favorite character and why?
Who is your least favorite character and why?
What characters would you like to see more of and why?
What characters' stories do you find the most intriguing and would want to be explored more throughout the story?
Are there any things you felt didn't work in the previous chapter?
Are there any things you want to see more of that didn't see much light in the previous chapter?
What are some settings or plot points you would like to see?
Do you have any suggestions or criticisms to help improve the story? (Grammar corrections, habits I have when writing, etc.)
Who is your favorite character and why? Right now I think it would be Henry Parker. He's cool.
Who is your least favorite character and why? Clive. He locked himself in his room, and he's an adult.
What characters would you like to see more of and why? Samantha, Kayla, Holly. Cause they be cool.
What characters' stories do you find the most intriguing and would want to be explored more throughout the story? Samantha, I've liked her story so far.
Are there any things you felt didn't work in the previous chapter? Nope. nada.
Are there any things you want to see more of that didn't see much light in the previous chapter? Probably how Alex died.
What are some settings or plot points you would like to see? Well I like the high school, mostly because I can relate to that.
Do you have any suggestions or criticisms to help improve the story? Stay awesome.
In the mean time, while I work on the next chapter, I'd like to ask a series of questions. Feel free to ignore them if you don't wish to par… moreticipate, or skip ones you don't want to answer.
Who is your favorite character and why?
Who is your least favorite character and why?
What characters would you like to see more of and why?
What characters' stories do you find the most intriguing and would want to be explored more throughout the story?
Are there any things you felt didn't work in the previous chapter?
Are there any things you want to see more of that didn't see much light in the previous chapter?
What are some settings or plot points you would like to see?
Do you have any suggestions or criticisms to help improve the story? (Grammar corrections, habits I have when writing, etc.)
Thanks for all the feedback! I'll make sure to take note of a lot of things, including the characters that people like the most - most of the favorite characters are already planned to have pretty big roles. I still haven't began writing the next part - I've been out all afternoon so I haven't been able to devote much time to it. And I know that the previous chapter was really shout. It was the first one, so keep that in mind. Though the next chapter will be bigger, I'm not sure how much bigger, but bigger nonetheless.
But please remember, this story won't be that long. Though with the recent influx of submitted characters, it will probably live longer than I originally intended. The truth of this story - this town - will be revealed on its own time. I don't want to prolong the story in fear of causing problems for the speed and movement of the story, which doesn't necessarily mean I won't make it longer - I will, just naturally. I'm not gonna force it
Rachel bite her lips and closed her tear filled eyes. She didn’t want to look another second at the lifeless body of her younger brother as he laid on the table with a sheet covering him. She regretfully opened her eyes and turned to her father, who stood next to her. He was devastated - his eyes alone made that clear enough. “It’s my fault,” Clive muttered softly with a shaky voice. “My fault…” His expression worsened and he back up until he was seated in a chair at the other side of the room.
“Just say it already…” he mumbled to Rachel with an inaudible quietness. As he realized she didn’t hear him the first time he lowered his head and stared at his hands. An ashamed look found its way on his face as he looked up at Rachel. “Say it’s my fault.”
Rachel didn’t speak immediately. She instead looked back at the body of Alexander with an angry look. She wasn’t cruel enough to tell her father something like that - something that would clearly just make things worse. “It’s not your fault,” Rachel attempted to reassure him, but it seemed to fall through, as if he didn’t believe her. An unusual anger filled her eyes. “It’s the fault of the sonofabitch who shot him.”
Clive looked at his daughter with disbelief. “Do you mean…” he paused and his eyes widened. “T-There’s a fucking murderer out there? How could not think that!” Clive ran his fingers through his hair. “Fuck!” Clive hissed. Rachel nodded her head. “There’s murderer out there alright. I’m gonna fucking kill--” she paused as she noticed the look in her father's eyes. What father would want to hear such a thing? She rephrased it. “I’m gonna fucking bring this bastard in.”
Clive nodded but sighed. “Rachel, you were going to say something else.” She narrowed her eyes. “So fucking what?” Rachel hissed in reply. Clive shook his head. “You’re going to join the sheriff’s investigation then? I don’t want you to-- to get yourself killed!”
Rachel stared at Clive with annoyance. “You can’t stop me from getting involved in this. I’m going to find this fucker. I’m gonna.” She looked at the sheet covering the body of her brother one last time before turning to Clive again. “Please, let’s step out of here for a minute.” Clive regretfully nodded and walked towards the door with her. As they stepped through the door, Rachel spotted the sheriff’s deputy talking with someone at the desk. They were currently out of town.
Rachel felt Clive’s hand touch her arm and she turned to face him. “Rachel,” Clive said with a solid tone, “you need to understand that I want this asshole just as much as you. But I don’t want to have another sheriff knock on my door, say, “Mister Carson… your daughter's dead.” He let go of Rachel’s arm and wiped the tears from his eyes. Clive let out a long sigh. “At least… listen. You have to understand this. I also don’t want my daughter to kill someone, even if they deserve it, they do, but I don’t want you to-- to take a life. They can rot in jail for the rest of their life, but killing them, on purpose especially, isn’t anyway to avenge Alexander. But, of course, I’d want you to defend yourself, but killing someone WILL change you for the worse.” Rachel didn't look him in the eye. What did she want? What did she want to do about this?
[“I’m going to put this bastard away.”]
[“If need be, I’m going to put this fucker in the GROUND.”]
May 14th - 7:35 - Samantha Jones
Samantha let out a somewhat annoyed sigh as she watched her friends and acquaintances talk and such. They had been at the diner for a few hours - more than they should have. They were going look for Luke, but it was already getting dark. Though they were probably still going to go out and look, they were wouldn’t be able to do so for long. Samantha’s eyes wandered across their little group. Kayla, Anna, herself, Melissa and Eli. Samantha had distanced herself from the conversation and wasn’t paying much attention to what they were all talking about. She turned her head and looked out the window and at Eli’s dog that was tied up outside, since her mother didn’t allow dogs in the diner. Murphy was the dog’s name. It was a white Aidi whose lease was tied to a fire hydrant in the shade.
“What the fuck…” she muttered silently as her eyes just then noticed a figure - a young man - standing next to the dog. He was facing the street and Murphy didn’t seem to care. He had short brown hair, seemed somewhat skinny, and wore a dark blue hoodie and blue jeans. “Holy shit,” she exclaimed under her breath, once again her company didn’t notice hear her. It was Luke.
“I’ll-- I’ll be right back.” Samantha rose from her chair and walked towards the door. “Alright, Sam,” Kayla replied, acknowledging her.
Samantha nodded to Kayla with an uneasy smile as she pushed open the door. She stepped out on the sidewalk in front of the diner, and her smile instantly faded. She began walking to the new vision of Luke. He wasn’t disappearing like last time. She was standing right behind him but he hadn’t noticed her yet.
Chapter Two: “Matters of the Heart” - Part 1
May 14th - 7:32 PM - Rachel Carson
Rachel bite her lips and closed her tear filled eyes… more. She didn’t want to look another second at the lifeless body of her younger brother as he laid on the table with a sheet covering him. She regretfully opened her eyes and turned to her father, who stood next to her. He was devastated - his eyes alone made that clear enough. “It’s my fault,” Clive muttered softly with a shaky voice. “My fault…” His expression worsened and he back up until he was seated in a chair at the other side of the room.
“Just say it already…” he mumbled to Rachel with an inaudible quietness. As he realized she didn’t hear him the first time he lowered his head and stared at his hands. An ashamed look found its way on his face as he looked up at Rachel. “Say it’s my fault.”
Rachel didn’t speak immediately. She instead looked back at the body of Alexander with an angry look. Sh… [view original content]
Chapter Two: “Matters of the Heart” - Part 1
May 14th - 7:32 PM - Rachel Carson
Rachel bite her lips and closed her tear filled eyes… more. She didn’t want to look another second at the lifeless body of her younger brother as he laid on the table with a sheet covering him. She regretfully opened her eyes and turned to her father, who stood next to her. He was devastated - his eyes alone made that clear enough. “It’s my fault,” Clive muttered softly with a shaky voice. “My fault…” His expression worsened and he back up until he was seated in a chair at the other side of the room.
“Just say it already…” he mumbled to Rachel with an inaudible quietness. As he realized she didn’t hear him the first time he lowered his head and stared at his hands. An ashamed look found its way on his face as he looked up at Rachel. “Say it’s my fault.”
Rachel didn’t speak immediately. She instead looked back at the body of Alexander with an angry look. Sh… [view original content]
Chapter Two: “Matters of the Heart” - Part 1
May 14th - 7:32 PM - Rachel Carson
Rachel bite her lips and closed her tear filled eyes… more. She didn’t want to look another second at the lifeless body of her younger brother as he laid on the table with a sheet covering him. She regretfully opened her eyes and turned to her father, who stood next to her. He was devastated - his eyes alone made that clear enough. “It’s my fault,” Clive muttered softly with a shaky voice. “My fault…” His expression worsened and he back up until he was seated in a chair at the other side of the room.
“Just say it already…” he mumbled to Rachel with an inaudible quietness. As he realized she didn’t hear him the first time he lowered his head and stared at his hands. An ashamed look found its way on his face as he looked up at Rachel. “Say it’s my fault.”
Rachel didn’t speak immediately. She instead looked back at the body of Alexander with an angry look. Sh… [view original content]
Chapter Two: “Matters of the Heart” - Part 1
May 14th - 7:32 PM - Rachel Carson
Rachel bite her lips and closed her tear filled eyes… more. She didn’t want to look another second at the lifeless body of her younger brother as he laid on the table with a sheet covering him. She regretfully opened her eyes and turned to her father, who stood next to her. He was devastated - his eyes alone made that clear enough. “It’s my fault,” Clive muttered softly with a shaky voice. “My fault…” His expression worsened and he back up until he was seated in a chair at the other side of the room.
“Just say it already…” he mumbled to Rachel with an inaudible quietness. As he realized she didn’t hear him the first time he lowered his head and stared at his hands. An ashamed look found its way on his face as he looked up at Rachel. “Say it’s my fault.”
Rachel didn’t speak immediately. She instead looked back at the body of Alexander with an angry look. Sh… [view original content]
[“I'm going to put this bastard away.”] murder is not the way, part of me wonders if a vengeful Rachael would be more interesting.
[Poke … morehim] this just seems so funny to me just walk up to someone and poke him. I've got a suspicion that it's not a vision but it's also not Luke.
Great chapter! I'm a bit surprised that Alexander was shot. I wonder has Samantha heard the news about Alexander?
Chapter Two: “Matters of the Heart” - Part 1
May 14th - 7:32 PM - Rachel Carson
Rachel bite her lips and closed her tear filled eyes… more. She didn’t want to look another second at the lifeless body of her younger brother as he laid on the table with a sheet covering him. She regretfully opened her eyes and turned to her father, who stood next to her. He was devastated - his eyes alone made that clear enough. “It’s my fault,” Clive muttered softly with a shaky voice. “My fault…” His expression worsened and he back up until he was seated in a chair at the other side of the room.
“Just say it already…” he mumbled to Rachel with an inaudible quietness. As he realized she didn’t hear him the first time he lowered his head and stared at his hands. An ashamed look found its way on his face as he looked up at Rachel. “Say it’s my fault.”
Rachel didn’t speak immediately. She instead looked back at the body of Alexander with an angry look. Sh… [view original content]
Chapter Two: “Matters of the Heart” - Part 1
May 14th - 7:32 PM - Rachel Carson
Rachel bite her lips and closed her tear filled eyes… more. She didn’t want to look another second at the lifeless body of her younger brother as he laid on the table with a sheet covering him. She regretfully opened her eyes and turned to her father, who stood next to her. He was devastated - his eyes alone made that clear enough. “It’s my fault,” Clive muttered softly with a shaky voice. “My fault…” His expression worsened and he back up until he was seated in a chair at the other side of the room.
“Just say it already…” he mumbled to Rachel with an inaudible quietness. As he realized she didn’t hear him the first time he lowered his head and stared at his hands. An ashamed look found its way on his face as he looked up at Rachel. “Say it’s my fault.”
Rachel didn’t speak immediately. She instead looked back at the body of Alexander with an angry look. Sh… [view original content]
I was torn about this. On the one hand, it's clear that the killer does not deserve to live (if it's a living thing to start with), while Rachel definitely deserves her vengeance. As expected, she's in a downright murderous mood and I really want her to avenge her brother. She and Alex deserve vengeance, while the killer deserves the most painful death possible. However, if she starts this investigation with the intent of killing the murderer, she's likely prone to make mistakes or jump to premature conclusions. That way she could end up killing the wrong guy, bringing herself into a lot of trouble. If there will be an option for her to kill Alexander's murderer I will definitely pick it without a second thought, but only if it's clear that she's killing the right guy. I don't want her to end up shooting an innocent person.
[Poke him.]
Like Golden said, that's the best way to find out if someone is a hallucination or not.
Chapter Two: “Matters of the Heart” - Part 1
May 14th - 7:32 PM - Rachel Carson
Rachel bite her lips and closed her tear filled eyes… more. She didn’t want to look another second at the lifeless body of her younger brother as he laid on the table with a sheet covering him. She regretfully opened her eyes and turned to her father, who stood next to her. He was devastated - his eyes alone made that clear enough. “It’s my fault,” Clive muttered softly with a shaky voice. “My fault…” His expression worsened and he back up until he was seated in a chair at the other side of the room.
“Just say it already…” he mumbled to Rachel with an inaudible quietness. As he realized she didn’t hear him the first time he lowered his head and stared at his hands. An ashamed look found its way on his face as he looked up at Rachel. “Say it’s my fault.”
Rachel didn’t speak immediately. She instead looked back at the body of Alexander with an angry look. Sh… [view original content]
[“I’m going to put this bastard away.”]
I was torn about this. On the one hand, it's clear that the killer does not deserve to live (if i… moret's a living thing to start with), while Rachel definitely deserves her vengeance. As expected, she's in a downright murderous mood and I really want her to avenge her brother. She and Alex deserve vengeance, while the killer deserves the most painful death possible. However, if she starts this investigation with the intent of killing the murderer, she's likely prone to make mistakes or jump to premature conclusions. That way she could end up killing the wrong guy, bringing herself into a lot of trouble. If there will be an option for her to kill Alexander's murderer I will definitely pick it without a second thought, but only if it's clear that she's killing the right guy. I don't want her to end up shooting an innocent person.
[Poke him.]
Like Golden said, that's the best way to find out if someone is a hallucination or not.
Chapter Two: “Matters of the Heart” - Part 1
May 14th - 7:32 PM - Rachel Carson
Rachel bite her lips and closed her tear filled eyes… more. She didn’t want to look another second at the lifeless body of her younger brother as he laid on the table with a sheet covering him. She regretfully opened her eyes and turned to her father, who stood next to her. He was devastated - his eyes alone made that clear enough. “It’s my fault,” Clive muttered softly with a shaky voice. “My fault…” His expression worsened and he back up until he was seated in a chair at the other side of the room.
“Just say it already…” he mumbled to Rachel with an inaudible quietness. As he realized she didn’t hear him the first time he lowered his head and stared at his hands. An ashamed look found its way on his face as he looked up at Rachel. “Say it’s my fault.”
Rachel didn’t speak immediately. She instead looked back at the body of Alexander with an angry look. Sh… [view original content]
Murphy looked at Samantha as she pressed her finger against the vision’s shoulder. Sure enough, her hand passed through, but was met by a very cold, unnatural feeling. The vision Luke turned its head slightly and looked at Samantha from the corner of his eye. As Samantha blinked the vision surprisingly remained. A tapping sound come from behind her, and she turned to see the diner door opening and Kayla stepped outside. “What are doing out here?” Kayla asked with a concern tone of voice.
Samantha looked back briefly at the step where her vision of Luke once stood - he was gone. “Um…” Samantha mumbled as she failed to think of a response. Kayla narrowed her eyes and gave a slight frown. “Alright then.”
Kayla sighed as she shook her head and frown faded away. “Anyway. What do you think? Do you think we’ll actually find him?” Samantha frowned reluctantly. “Probably not,” she answered.
“I’d say it’s about time we get going, before it really gets dark.” Kayla tilted her head and looked at the street in front of her and Samantha. “Sam, what did you think about Luke?”
Samantha frowned somewhat ashamed. “I liked him,” she replied, with regret. Kayla nodded. “I can understand that. He was a nice guy.” Kayla turned away from the road and looked in the direction of the diner. “While I don’t we’ll find Luke, either, I do think he will be found. Probably by the sheriffs.”
Samantha felt Kayla’s hand pat her on the back and looked in her the eye to see her boating a reassuring expression. “Thanks, Kayla.” Samantha smiled appreciatively as the other members of their party exited the diner together. Anna, Melissa and Eli.
Melissa was the first of the three to speak. “Are we going to start looking or what?” Melissa questioned. Kayla retracted her arm and nodded. “Yeah, anytime now I guess,” she answered. Melissa was pretty. She had relatively long dyed brown hair, fair skin, blue eyes that were ‘double eyelid’, and wore blue jeans and a white shirt under a open blue jacket.
Eli, on the other hand, had think, straight blonde hair and freckles on his nose. Along with that was his pale skin - being from Norway, and then he wore a blue baseball cap and light blue jacket on top of a darker blue shirt. “Think we should tell your mom we’re leaving?” Eli asked with his Norwegian accent.
“Sure, I gotta grab my backpack away,” Samantha replied with a smile. She ran back into the diner and grabbed it, then quickly threw it over her shoulder. “We’re leaving!” she shouted to her mother who was at the counter of the diner. “Alright, but be back before it gets dark.” Samantha nodded with a smirk and ran back the door to her friends.
She reached them and found Eli untying his dog, Murphy. “You aren’t worried about him?” Anna ask Eli. “I mean… there are bears in Wisconsin.” Eli nodded in agreeance. “I know - Murphy’s a pussy though. If a bear came running at him, he’d run the other way faster than you could.” Anna frowned, “that’s not really reassuring.”
Samantha stood in the center of the group and they looked to her as she approached. “Are we ready?” Samantha questioned. She received several nods. “We’re ready,” Melissa answered. Samantha sighed as she nodded herself, almost reluctant to look around the woods. “Alright, let’s go.”
“Why the fuck aren’t we worried about bears?” Anna muttered under her breath as they began walking behind the diner and towards the treeline. “We’ll be fine,” Kayla assured. “If you see a bear just play dead.” Anna shot Kayla an unappreciative look, which she couldn’t see for obvious reasons. The look faded and was replaced by a frown. “Alright,” she replied.
Samantha tilted her head at Eli as his dog pulled him along ahead of the group. “Stop it, Murphy!” Eli yelled. The dog quickly stopped and looked around itself and at Eli as she soon caught up. Eli reached for the dog’s collar and took hold of it tightly. as soon as he did this the dog attempted to pull its head out of the loop and succeeded. “Fuck!” Eli shouted as Murphy ran into the woods without them.
“Shit,” Samantha muttered as she ran to Eli. “C’mon!” Sam added, “after him!” Eli nodded and the two of them chased after the loose dog, followed by Melissa, then Kayla, and Anna who was helping guide her as they hurried after the them. Samantha eyes darted between the trees and flora before she suddenly realized she was separated. “Jezz,” she huffed while catching her breath.
Her wide eyes wandered around the trees sudding her, looking for a direction to head. Two barks echoed from behind her and she instantly turned and ran towards the noise. Samantha broke through a treeline to find herself standing in a clearing. Leaves covered the ground and several tents were set up in the center of it. A campsite by the looks of it. Murphy stood around the site sniffing the ground around it while Samantha approached. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Eli emerge from the treeline and look around the camp with a surprised expression. She turned to face him with a frustrated expression. “Get the caller back on him!” Samantha shouted to Eli. He nodded as she ran to the camp and his dog.
Eli threw the caller of Murphy’s neck and tightly held the lease. “Does he normally do that?” Samantha growled, but her frustration quickly faded away. “Yeah, sometimes.” Eli frowned. “I guess I didn’t tighten the caller enough. Sorry.”
“It’s fine,” Samantha sighed. She walked up to him and looked around the campsite. Two tents and a campfire. On the fire only burning recently, and there were several hot dogs cooking on it - probably the reason Murphy ran there. Empty beer bottles laying around the place. Her expression grew uneasy. “I don’t we should be here.” Eli nodded. “It seems… odd,” he replied.
Samantha turned her head to the sound of footsteps. She faced the source to find Melissa, Anna and Kayla entering the clearing. “What the hell is this?” Melissa exclaimed.
“It’s…” Samantha tried to answer but was cut off by Melissa as she walked past her. “Looks like a dump.” Melissa narrowed her eyes as she looked at the open tentflap. She approached it and started to peek inside. “Jesus, Melissa! Don’t do that!” Samantha tried to stop her, but it was too late. Melissa backed away from the tent with widened eyes. “There’s drugs in that tent,” she hissed while backing away.
“What?!” Eli exclaimed with a shocked expression. “We gotta get out of here,” Samantha ordered. Melissa nodded in agreeance. They turned to leave but as they did, several men entered the clearing. They looked worse for wear, as if they hadn’t showered in a long time. Kayla and Anna were unnoticed. Anna sunk back into the woods with Kayla. Probably of the best.
Samantha’s heart raced as they slowly approached them. “What are you doing at our campsite?” One of the them called out. Samantha didn’t answer right away. She weighed her options quickly as with Melissa, Eli and his dog looked backed away a few steps.
Chapter Two: “Matters of the Heart” - Part 2
May 14th - 7:36 - Samantha Jones
Murphy looked at Samantha as she pressed her finger ag… moreainst the vision’s shoulder. Sure enough, her hand passed through, but was met by a very cold, unnatural feeling. The vision Luke turned its head slightly and looked at Samantha from the corner of his eye. As Samantha blinked the vision surprisingly remained. A tapping sound come from behind her, and she turned to see the diner door opening and Kayla stepped outside. “What are doing out here?” Kayla asked with a concern tone of voice.
Samantha looked back briefly at the step where her vision of Luke once stood - he was gone. “Um…” Samantha mumbled as she failed to think of a response. Kayla narrowed her eyes and gave a slight frown. “Alright then.”
Kayla sighed as she shook her head and frown faded away. “Anyway. What do you think? Do you think we’ll actually find him?” Samantha frowned reluctantly.… [view original content]
Chapter Two: “Matters of the Heart” - Part 2
May 14th - 7:36 - Samantha Jones
Murphy looked at Samantha as she pressed her finger ag… moreainst the vision’s shoulder. Sure enough, her hand passed through, but was met by a very cold, unnatural feeling. The vision Luke turned its head slightly and looked at Samantha from the corner of his eye. As Samantha blinked the vision surprisingly remained. A tapping sound come from behind her, and she turned to see the diner door opening and Kayla stepped outside. “What are doing out here?” Kayla asked with a concern tone of voice.
Samantha looked back briefly at the step where her vision of Luke once stood - he was gone. “Um…” Samantha mumbled as she failed to think of a response. Kayla narrowed her eyes and gave a slight frown. “Alright then.”
Kayla sighed as she shook her head and frown faded away. “Anyway. What do you think? Do you think we’ll actually find him?” Samantha frowned reluctantly.… [view original content]
Chapter Two: “Matters of the Heart” - Part 2
May 14th - 7:36 - Samantha Jones
Murphy looked at Samantha as she pressed her finger ag… moreainst the vision’s shoulder. Sure enough, her hand passed through, but was met by a very cold, unnatural feeling. The vision Luke turned its head slightly and looked at Samantha from the corner of his eye. As Samantha blinked the vision surprisingly remained. A tapping sound come from behind her, and she turned to see the diner door opening and Kayla stepped outside. “What are doing out here?” Kayla asked with a concern tone of voice.
Samantha looked back briefly at the step where her vision of Luke once stood - he was gone. “Um…” Samantha mumbled as she failed to think of a response. Kayla narrowed her eyes and gave a slight frown. “Alright then.”
Kayla sighed as she shook her head and frown faded away. “Anyway. What do you think? Do you think we’ll actually find him?” Samantha frowned reluctantly.… [view original content]
Chapter Two: “Matters of the Heart” - Part 2
May 14th - 7:36 - Samantha Jones
Murphy looked at Samantha as she pressed her finger ag… moreainst the vision’s shoulder. Sure enough, her hand passed through, but was met by a very cold, unnatural feeling. The vision Luke turned its head slightly and looked at Samantha from the corner of his eye. As Samantha blinked the vision surprisingly remained. A tapping sound come from behind her, and she turned to see the diner door opening and Kayla stepped outside. “What are doing out here?” Kayla asked with a concern tone of voice.
Samantha looked back briefly at the step where her vision of Luke once stood - he was gone. “Um…” Samantha mumbled as she failed to think of a response. Kayla narrowed her eyes and gave a slight frown. “Alright then.”
Kayla sighed as she shook her head and frown faded away. “Anyway. What do you think? Do you think we’ll actually find him?” Samantha frowned reluctantly.… [view original content]
Chapter Two: “Matters of the Heart” - Part 2
May 14th - 7:36 - Samantha Jones
Murphy looked at Samantha as she pressed her finger ag… moreainst the vision’s shoulder. Sure enough, her hand passed through, but was met by a very cold, unnatural feeling. The vision Luke turned its head slightly and looked at Samantha from the corner of his eye. As Samantha blinked the vision surprisingly remained. A tapping sound come from behind her, and she turned to see the diner door opening and Kayla stepped outside. “What are doing out here?” Kayla asked with a concern tone of voice.
Samantha looked back briefly at the step where her vision of Luke once stood - he was gone. “Um…” Samantha mumbled as she failed to think of a response. Kayla narrowed her eyes and gave a slight frown. “Alright then.”
Kayla sighed as she shook her head and frown faded away. “Anyway. What do you think? Do you think we’ll actually find him?” Samantha frowned reluctantly.… [view original content]
Chapter Two: “Matters of the Heart” - Part 2
May 14th - 7:36 - Samantha Jones
Murphy looked at Samantha as she pressed her finger ag… moreainst the vision’s shoulder. Sure enough, her hand passed through, but was met by a very cold, unnatural feeling. The vision Luke turned its head slightly and looked at Samantha from the corner of his eye. As Samantha blinked the vision surprisingly remained. A tapping sound come from behind her, and she turned to see the diner door opening and Kayla stepped outside. “What are doing out here?” Kayla asked with a concern tone of voice.
Samantha looked back briefly at the step where her vision of Luke once stood - he was gone. “Um…” Samantha mumbled as she failed to think of a response. Kayla narrowed her eyes and gave a slight frown. “Alright then.”
Kayla sighed as she shook her head and frown faded away. “Anyway. What do you think? Do you think we’ll actually find him?” Samantha frowned reluctantly.… [view original content]
Chapter Two: “Matters of the Heart” - Part 2
May 14th - 7:36 - Samantha Jones
Murphy looked at Samantha as she pressed her finger ag… moreainst the vision’s shoulder. Sure enough, her hand passed through, but was met by a very cold, unnatural feeling. The vision Luke turned its head slightly and looked at Samantha from the corner of his eye. As Samantha blinked the vision surprisingly remained. A tapping sound come from behind her, and she turned to see the diner door opening and Kayla stepped outside. “What are doing out here?” Kayla asked with a concern tone of voice.
Samantha looked back briefly at the step where her vision of Luke once stood - he was gone. “Um…” Samantha mumbled as she failed to think of a response. Kayla narrowed her eyes and gave a slight frown. “Alright then.”
Kayla sighed as she shook her head and frown faded away. “Anyway. What do you think? Do you think we’ll actually find him?” Samantha frowned reluctantly.… [view original content]
Chapter Two: “Matters of the Heart” - Part 2
May 14th - 7:36 - Samantha Jones
Murphy looked at Samantha as she pressed her finger ag… moreainst the vision’s shoulder. Sure enough, her hand passed through, but was met by a very cold, unnatural feeling. The vision Luke turned its head slightly and looked at Samantha from the corner of his eye. As Samantha blinked the vision surprisingly remained. A tapping sound come from behind her, and she turned to see the diner door opening and Kayla stepped outside. “What are doing out here?” Kayla asked with a concern tone of voice.
Samantha looked back briefly at the step where her vision of Luke once stood - he was gone. “Um…” Samantha mumbled as she failed to think of a response. Kayla narrowed her eyes and gave a slight frown. “Alright then.”
Kayla sighed as she shook her head and frown faded away. “Anyway. What do you think? Do you think we’ll actually find him?” Samantha frowned reluctantly.… [view original content]
Chapter Two: “Matters of the Heart” - Part 2
May 14th - 7:36 - Samantha Jones
Murphy looked at Samantha as she pressed her finger ag… moreainst the vision’s shoulder. Sure enough, her hand passed through, but was met by a very cold, unnatural feeling. The vision Luke turned its head slightly and looked at Samantha from the corner of his eye. As Samantha blinked the vision surprisingly remained. A tapping sound come from behind her, and she turned to see the diner door opening and Kayla stepped outside. “What are doing out here?” Kayla asked with a concern tone of voice.
Samantha looked back briefly at the step where her vision of Luke once stood - he was gone. “Um…” Samantha mumbled as she failed to think of a response. Kayla narrowed her eyes and gave a slight frown. “Alright then.”
Kayla sighed as she shook her head and frown faded away. “Anyway. What do you think? Do you think we’ll actually find him?” Samantha frowned reluctantly.… [view original content]
Chapter Two: “Matters of the Heart” - Part 2
May 14th - 7:36 - Samantha Jones
Murphy looked at Samantha as she pressed her finger ag… moreainst the vision’s shoulder. Sure enough, her hand passed through, but was met by a very cold, unnatural feeling. The vision Luke turned its head slightly and looked at Samantha from the corner of his eye. As Samantha blinked the vision surprisingly remained. A tapping sound come from behind her, and she turned to see the diner door opening and Kayla stepped outside. “What are doing out here?” Kayla asked with a concern tone of voice.
Samantha looked back briefly at the step where her vision of Luke once stood - he was gone. “Um…” Samantha mumbled as she failed to think of a response. Kayla narrowed her eyes and gave a slight frown. “Alright then.”
Kayla sighed as she shook her head and frown faded away. “Anyway. What do you think? Do you think we’ll actually find him?” Samantha frowned reluctantly.… [view original content]
I've worked on the new part just a tiny bit. It hasn't been coming along too well, and added to that, I've been busy. I'm gonna try to devote some time to it later tonight and hopefully it'll be mostly done by some time tomorrow. Sorry for the wait.
Comments
It's no problem take your time to write what no doubt will be a fantastic story.
In the mean time, while I work on the next chapter, I'd like to ask a series of questions. Feel free to ignore them if you don't wish to participate, or skip ones you don't want to answer.
Who is your favorite character and why?
Who is your least favorite character and why?
What characters would you like to see more of and why?
What characters' stories do you find the most intriguing and would want to be explored more throughout the story?
Are there any things you felt didn't work in the previous chapter?
Are there any things you want to see more of that didn't see much light in the previous chapter?
What are some settings or plot points you would like to see?
Do you have any suggestions or criticisms to help improve the story? (Grammar corrections, habits I have when writing, etc.)
Who is your favorite character and why?
Kayla she is verry sympathic (I dont really know why)
Who is your least favorite character and why?
I dont really have one till now
What characters would you like to see more of and why?
Samntha because i like her part the most its the most interesting because the missing of Luke ist interesting mostly because of the very good prolog
What characters' stories do you find the most intriguing and would want to be explored more throughout the story?
As i just wrote Lukes story because of the prolog that makes you want to know more
Are there any things you felt didn't work in the previous chapter?
Nope everything was cool
Are there any things you want to see more of that didn't see much light in the previous chapter?
How Alex died and what happende before the prolog started
What are some settings or plot points you would like to see?
All in all just more points of view maybe
Do you have any suggestions or criticisms to help improve the story?
Well you could use my character that would make the story even better. Just kidding everything is good XD
Ah, it's question time
Some of these questions are quite hard for me to answer after one chapter, but I'll try my best.
Who is your favorite character and why?
So far I enjoyed Thomas the most, because I find him to be very interesting as a character. Other favourites of mine include Henry for being the most involved with the investigation and Rachel because bias (and because she's awesome). The most interesting storyline goes to Samantha, but I didn't find her character to be that interesting in Chapter 1.
Who is your least favorite character and why?
Clive and that's absolutely fine for me, because he is exactly how I imagined him and intended him to be. Of course, I know he has some good qualities as well, but his childish and irresponsible attitude when dealing with his daughter really made me dislike him. That said, I'm looking forward for his reaction to Alexander's death, this might be able to give me a better opinion on him.
What characters would you like to see more of and why?
Rachel? Here's hoping
I also really enjoyed Thomas and wouldn't mind to see more of him, since his character is the most interesting for me right now. Samantha is also very interesting for me, but that is probably more a result of her story than her actual character. But I found Kayla to be a very fascinating character as well.
What characters' stories do you find the most intriguing and would want to be explored more throughout the story?
Is all of them a viable answer? I think now that Alex is dead, how Clive and Rachel deal with that could be very interesting. I'd also like to learn more about Samantha and the nature of the visions she got, she had probably the most interesting story in general in chapter 1.
Are there any things you felt didn't work in the previous chapter?
Nope, none that I could recall. Everything worked fine for me. The atmosphere was great and you managed to introduce the characters very well. I liked the pacing of the chapter, even though it was over sooner than I hoped.
Are there any things you want to see more of that didn't see much light in the previous chapter?
The supernatural themes and Alexander's death. Of course, I doubt we'll get much more explanations to either of these in Chapter 2 already, but perhaps a few answers (and a lot more questions, because questions are great) would be nice.
What are some settings or plot points you would like to see?
Hm, drastically different settings will be hard to pull off in a rural small town, but I'd like to see more of the forest, since that's probably the most creepy part of the whole area. I really enjoy the Silicon setting so far and the creepy small-town atmosphere it creates. As with plot points... hard to say. Are more PoV's a plot point? I'd also like to see how the remaining Carson family reacts to Alex' death and what Samantha and her friends are finding on their search for Luke. I guess that's pretty much the same answer I gave for question 4.
Do you have any suggestions or criticisms to help improve the story?
As someone with mediocre grammar and quite obvious habits when writing a text, I am not the best person to give advice when it comes to your writing style, which is superb by the way. Perhaps the only thing which I noticed was that some (by no means all) of the characters, Kyle and Clyde in the last part for example, got no real description of their looks, but that's only minor nitpicking of course. A bit more character development can never hurt, but that was pretty good in the introductory chapter already. Perhaps the second chapter should be longer, as that also means that the story in general will be longer, which is always great.
Who is your favorite character and why? Right now I think it would be Henry Parker. He's cool.
Who is your least favorite character and why? Clive. He locked himself in his room, and he's an adult.
What characters would you like to see more of and why? Samantha, Kayla, Holly. Cause they be cool.
What characters' stories do you find the most intriguing and would want to be explored more throughout the story? Samantha, I've liked her story so far.
Are there any things you felt didn't work in the previous chapter? Nope. nada.
Are there any things you want to see more of that didn't see much light in the previous chapter? Probably how Alex died.
What are some settings or plot points you would like to see? Well I like the high school, mostly because I can relate to that.
Do you have any suggestions or criticisms to help improve the story? Stay awesome.
Thanks for all the feedback! I'll make sure to take note of a lot of things, including the characters that people like the most - most of the favorite characters are already planned to have pretty big roles. I still haven't began writing the next part - I've been out all afternoon so I haven't been able to devote much time to it. And I know that the previous chapter was really shout. It was the first one, so keep that in mind. Though the next chapter will be bigger, I'm not sure how much bigger, but bigger nonetheless.
But please remember, this story won't be that long. Though with the recent influx of submitted characters, it will probably live longer than I originally intended. The truth of this story - this town - will be revealed on its own time. I don't want to prolong the story in fear of causing problems for the speed and movement of the story, which doesn't necessarily mean I won't make it longer - I will, just naturally. I'm not gonna force it
Chapter Two: “Matters of the Heart” - Part 1
May 14th - 7:32 PM - Rachel Carson
Rachel bite her lips and closed her tear filled eyes. She didn’t want to look another second at the lifeless body of her younger brother as he laid on the table with a sheet covering him. She regretfully opened her eyes and turned to her father, who stood next to her. He was devastated - his eyes alone made that clear enough. “It’s my fault,” Clive muttered softly with a shaky voice. “My fault…” His expression worsened and he back up until he was seated in a chair at the other side of the room.
“Just say it already…” he mumbled to Rachel with an inaudible quietness. As he realized she didn’t hear him the first time he lowered his head and stared at his hands. An ashamed look found its way on his face as he looked up at Rachel. “Say it’s my fault.”
Rachel didn’t speak immediately. She instead looked back at the body of Alexander with an angry look. She wasn’t cruel enough to tell her father something like that - something that would clearly just make things worse. “It’s not your fault,” Rachel attempted to reassure him, but it seemed to fall through, as if he didn’t believe her. An unusual anger filled her eyes. “It’s the fault of the sonofabitch who shot him.”
Clive looked at his daughter with disbelief. “Do you mean…” he paused and his eyes widened. “T-There’s a fucking murderer out there? How could not think that!” Clive ran his fingers through his hair. “Fuck!” Clive hissed. Rachel nodded her head. “There’s murderer out there alright. I’m gonna fucking kill--” she paused as she noticed the look in her father's eyes. What father would want to hear such a thing? She rephrased it. “I’m gonna fucking bring this bastard in.”
Clive nodded but sighed. “Rachel, you were going to say something else.” She narrowed her eyes. “So fucking what?” Rachel hissed in reply. Clive shook his head. “You’re going to join the sheriff’s investigation then? I don’t want you to-- to get yourself killed!”
Rachel stared at Clive with annoyance. “You can’t stop me from getting involved in this. I’m going to find this fucker. I’m gonna.” She looked at the sheet covering the body of her brother one last time before turning to Clive again. “Please, let’s step out of here for a minute.” Clive regretfully nodded and walked towards the door with her. As they stepped through the door, Rachel spotted the sheriff’s deputy talking with someone at the desk. They were currently out of town.
Rachel felt Clive’s hand touch her arm and she turned to face him. “Rachel,” Clive said with a solid tone, “you need to understand that I want this asshole just as much as you. But I don’t want to have another sheriff knock on my door, say, “Mister Carson… your daughter's dead.” He let go of Rachel’s arm and wiped the tears from his eyes. Clive let out a long sigh. “At least… listen. You have to understand this. I also don’t want my daughter to kill someone, even if they deserve it, they do, but I don’t want you to-- to take a life. They can rot in jail for the rest of their life, but killing them, on purpose especially, isn’t anyway to avenge Alexander. But, of course, I’d want you to defend yourself, but killing someone WILL change you for the worse.” Rachel didn't look him in the eye. What did she want? What did she want to do about this?
[“I’m going to put this bastard away.”]
[“If need be, I’m going to put this fucker in the GROUND.”]
May 14th - 7:35 - Samantha Jones
Samantha let out a somewhat annoyed sigh as she watched her friends and acquaintances talk and such. They had been at the diner for a few hours - more than they should have. They were going look for Luke, but it was already getting dark. Though they were probably still going to go out and look, they were wouldn’t be able to do so for long. Samantha’s eyes wandered across their little group. Kayla, Anna, herself, Melissa and Eli. Samantha had distanced herself from the conversation and wasn’t paying much attention to what they were all talking about. She turned her head and looked out the window and at Eli’s dog that was tied up outside, since her mother didn’t allow dogs in the diner. Murphy was the dog’s name. It was a white Aidi whose lease was tied to a fire hydrant in the shade.
“What the fuck…” she muttered silently as her eyes just then noticed a figure - a young man - standing next to the dog. He was facing the street and Murphy didn’t seem to care. He had short brown hair, seemed somewhat skinny, and wore a dark blue hoodie and blue jeans. “Holy shit,” she exclaimed under her breath, once again her company didn’t notice hear her. It was Luke.
“I’ll-- I’ll be right back.” Samantha rose from her chair and walked towards the door. “Alright, Sam,” Kayla replied, acknowledging her.
Samantha nodded to Kayla with an uneasy smile as she pushed open the door. She stepped out on the sidewalk in front of the diner, and her smile instantly faded. She began walking to the new vision of Luke. He wasn’t disappearing like last time. She was standing right behind him but he hadn’t noticed her yet.
[“Hello?”]
[Poke him.]
[“If need be, I’m going to put this fucker in the GROUND.”]
[“Hello?”]
[“I’m going to put this bastard away.”]
I would prefer for Rachel to not become a murderer, although...If she has to kill in self defense then...
[Poke him.]
Best way to see if it's just some vision or an actual person.
["I'm going to put this bastard away".]
["Hello".]
[“I'm going to put this bastard away.”] murder is not the way, part of me wonders if a vengeful Rachael would be more interesting.
[Poke him] this just seems so funny to me just walk up to someone and poke him. I've got a suspicion that it's not a vision but it's also not Luke.
Great chapter! I'm a bit surprised that Alexander was shot. I wonder has Samantha heard the news about Alexander?
[Put em away]
[Poke]
Thanks! And to answer your question, no she has not heard the bad news.
[“If need be, I’m going to put this fucker in the GROUND.”]
[“Hello?”]
[“I’m going to put this bastard away.”] [Poke him.]
[“If need be, I’m going to put this fucker in the GROUND.”]
[Poke him.]
[“I’m going to put this bastard away.”]
I was torn about this. On the one hand, it's clear that the killer does not deserve to live (if it's a living thing to start with), while Rachel definitely deserves her vengeance. As expected, she's in a downright murderous mood and I really want her to avenge her brother. She and Alex deserve vengeance, while the killer deserves the most painful death possible. However, if she starts this investigation with the intent of killing the murderer, she's likely prone to make mistakes or jump to premature conclusions. That way she could end up killing the wrong guy, bringing herself into a lot of trouble. If there will be an option for her to kill Alexander's murderer I will definitely pick it without a second thought, but only if it's clear that she's killing the right guy. I don't want her to end up shooting an innocent person.
[Poke him.]
Like Golden said, that's the best way to find out if someone is a hallucination or not.
Would I be correct in assuming you submitted the Carson family? Congrats if you did Rachael is awesome!
Yes, you're right. And thanks
[“I’m going to put this bastard away.”] Though a part of me wishes that she ends up killing the murderer.
[Poke him.]
Voting is closed
(!) Rachel will join the investigation with the intent to put away her brother's killer
(!) Samantha will poke the vision of Luke to see if it's really a vision
The continuation of Samantha's part is nearly done. I'll be posting it in hopefully under an hour.
Chapter Two: “Matters of the Heart” - Part 2
May 14th - 7:36 - Samantha Jones
Murphy looked at Samantha as she pressed her finger against the vision’s shoulder. Sure enough, her hand passed through, but was met by a very cold, unnatural feeling. The vision Luke turned its head slightly and looked at Samantha from the corner of his eye. As Samantha blinked the vision surprisingly remained. A tapping sound come from behind her, and she turned to see the diner door opening and Kayla stepped outside. “What are doing out here?” Kayla asked with a concern tone of voice.
Samantha looked back briefly at the step where her vision of Luke once stood - he was gone. “Um…” Samantha mumbled as she failed to think of a response. Kayla narrowed her eyes and gave a slight frown. “Alright then.”
Kayla sighed as she shook her head and frown faded away. “Anyway. What do you think? Do you think we’ll actually find him?” Samantha frowned reluctantly. “Probably not,” she answered.
“I’d say it’s about time we get going, before it really gets dark.” Kayla tilted her head and looked at the street in front of her and Samantha. “Sam, what did you think about Luke?”
Samantha frowned somewhat ashamed. “I liked him,” she replied, with regret. Kayla nodded. “I can understand that. He was a nice guy.” Kayla turned away from the road and looked in the direction of the diner. “While I don’t we’ll find Luke, either, I do think he will be found. Probably by the sheriffs.”
Samantha felt Kayla’s hand pat her on the back and looked in her the eye to see her boating a reassuring expression. “Thanks, Kayla.” Samantha smiled appreciatively as the other members of their party exited the diner together. Anna, Melissa and Eli.
Melissa was the first of the three to speak. “Are we going to start looking or what?” Melissa questioned. Kayla retracted her arm and nodded. “Yeah, anytime now I guess,” she answered. Melissa was pretty. She had relatively long dyed brown hair, fair skin, blue eyes that were ‘double eyelid’, and wore blue jeans and a white shirt under a open blue jacket.
Eli, on the other hand, had think, straight blonde hair and freckles on his nose. Along with that was his pale skin - being from Norway, and then he wore a blue baseball cap and light blue jacket on top of a darker blue shirt. “Think we should tell your mom we’re leaving?” Eli asked with his Norwegian accent.
“Sure, I gotta grab my backpack away,” Samantha replied with a smile. She ran back into the diner and grabbed it, then quickly threw it over her shoulder. “We’re leaving!” she shouted to her mother who was at the counter of the diner. “Alright, but be back before it gets dark.” Samantha nodded with a smirk and ran back the door to her friends.
She reached them and found Eli untying his dog, Murphy. “You aren’t worried about him?” Anna ask Eli. “I mean… there are bears in Wisconsin.” Eli nodded in agreeance. “I know - Murphy’s a pussy though. If a bear came running at him, he’d run the other way faster than you could.” Anna frowned, “that’s not really reassuring.”
Samantha stood in the center of the group and they looked to her as she approached. “Are we ready?” Samantha questioned. She received several nods. “We’re ready,” Melissa answered. Samantha sighed as she nodded herself, almost reluctant to look around the woods. “Alright, let’s go.”
“Why the fuck aren’t we worried about bears?” Anna muttered under her breath as they began walking behind the diner and towards the treeline. “We’ll be fine,” Kayla assured. “If you see a bear just play dead.” Anna shot Kayla an unappreciative look, which she couldn’t see for obvious reasons. The look faded and was replaced by a frown. “Alright,” she replied.
Samantha tilted her head at Eli as his dog pulled him along ahead of the group. “Stop it, Murphy!” Eli yelled. The dog quickly stopped and looked around itself and at Eli as she soon caught up. Eli reached for the dog’s collar and took hold of it tightly. as soon as he did this the dog attempted to pull its head out of the loop and succeeded. “Fuck!” Eli shouted as Murphy ran into the woods without them.
“Shit,” Samantha muttered as she ran to Eli. “C’mon!” Sam added, “after him!” Eli nodded and the two of them chased after the loose dog, followed by Melissa, then Kayla, and Anna who was helping guide her as they hurried after the them. Samantha eyes darted between the trees and flora before she suddenly realized she was separated. “Jezz,” she huffed while catching her breath.
Her wide eyes wandered around the trees sudding her, looking for a direction to head. Two barks echoed from behind her and she instantly turned and ran towards the noise. Samantha broke through a treeline to find herself standing in a clearing. Leaves covered the ground and several tents were set up in the center of it. A campsite by the looks of it. Murphy stood around the site sniffing the ground around it while Samantha approached. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Eli emerge from the treeline and look around the camp with a surprised expression. She turned to face him with a frustrated expression. “Get the caller back on him!” Samantha shouted to Eli. He nodded as she ran to the camp and his dog.
Eli threw the caller of Murphy’s neck and tightly held the lease. “Does he normally do that?” Samantha growled, but her frustration quickly faded away. “Yeah, sometimes.” Eli frowned. “I guess I didn’t tighten the caller enough. Sorry.”
“It’s fine,” Samantha sighed. She walked up to him and looked around the campsite. Two tents and a campfire. On the fire only burning recently, and there were several hot dogs cooking on it - probably the reason Murphy ran there. Empty beer bottles laying around the place. Her expression grew uneasy. “I don’t we should be here.” Eli nodded. “It seems… odd,” he replied.
Samantha turned her head to the sound of footsteps. She faced the source to find Melissa, Anna and Kayla entering the clearing. “What the hell is this?” Melissa exclaimed.
“It’s…” Samantha tried to answer but was cut off by Melissa as she walked past her. “Looks like a dump.” Melissa narrowed her eyes as she looked at the open tentflap. She approached it and started to peek inside. “Jesus, Melissa! Don’t do that!” Samantha tried to stop her, but it was too late. Melissa backed away from the tent with widened eyes. “There’s drugs in that tent,” she hissed while backing away.
“What?!” Eli exclaimed with a shocked expression. “We gotta get out of here,” Samantha ordered. Melissa nodded in agreeance. They turned to leave but as they did, several men entered the clearing. They looked worse for wear, as if they hadn’t showered in a long time. Kayla and Anna were unnoticed. Anna sunk back into the woods with Kayla. Probably of the best.
Samantha’s heart raced as they slowly approached them. “What are you doing at our campsite?” One of the them called out. Samantha didn’t answer right away. She weighed her options quickly as with Melissa, Eli and his dog looked backed away a few steps.
[Run for it.]
[Attempt to explain yourself.]
[Run for it.]
A campsite full with creepy and messy drug people? Hell no, it's better to get the fuck out of there as quick as possible!
[Attempt to explain yourself.]
[Run for it.]
[Run for it.]
Hell naw
[FLY YOU FOOLS]
You can't mess with drug peoples.
[Eli and gang gtfo]
[Fuck this shit! I'm out]
[Run for it] Hell no! get the hell out of there!!
[Attempt to explain yourself.]
[Run for it.]
[Run for it.]
[Run for it.]
is the character list updated yet? I don't see my character on the waiting list.
Sorry, I hadn't checked the submissions recently, but Lizzy has now been added to the waiting list.
Should've replied earlier with this pic, mistake on my part.
Voting is closed
(!) Samantha will get the fuck outta there
I've worked on the new part just a tiny bit. It hasn't been coming along too well, and added to that, I've been busy. I'm gonna try to devote some time to it later tonight and hopefully it'll be mostly done by some time tomorrow. Sorry for the wait.