Samira
The Queen’s two handmaiden’s quietly talked outside the Queen’s chambers. Samira quietly walked over to them to eavesdrop on thei… morer conversation. The two handmaiden’s were elderly, both in their mid sixties at least.
“...I’ll say, I do feel sorry for the Queen though.” The other girl wore a puzzled look.
“Why’s that?” The woman yawned.
“Because she cannot have children. The King has practically lost interest in her and is fucking other young women, creating bastards everywhere in the North.” The two girls sighed and continued talking. Young women ay? Samira showed herself to the handmaiden’s, who both looked interested to know who she was.
“Oh, hello? What’re you doing up here ma’am?” Samira put on her Northern accent.
“My name is Aya Flint. I am a newly appointed handmaiden to the queen and have been sent to meet her right away.” The other woman raised an eyebrow.
“Newly appointed- why would she… Oh I get it, a yo… [view original content]
Samira
The Queen’s two handmaiden’s quietly talked outside the Queen’s chambers. Samira quietly walked over to them to eavesdrop on thei… morer conversation. The two handmaiden’s were elderly, both in their mid sixties at least.
“...I’ll say, I do feel sorry for the Queen though.” The other girl wore a puzzled look.
“Why’s that?” The woman yawned.
“Because she cannot have children. The King has practically lost interest in her and is fucking other young women, creating bastards everywhere in the North.” The two girls sighed and continued talking. Young women ay? Samira showed herself to the handmaiden’s, who both looked interested to know who she was.
“Oh, hello? What’re you doing up here ma’am?” Samira put on her Northern accent.
“My name is Aya Flint. I am a newly appointed handmaiden to the queen and have been sent to meet her right away.” The other woman raised an eyebrow.
“Newly appointed- why would she… Oh I get it, a yo… [view original content]
Don't bother with that guy. He said the same about WildlingKing's story a few months ago, but brought no arguments and was just rude and insulting for no reason. I guess he's just some sort of troll, so it's best not to take him too seriously.
Don't bother with that guy. He said the same about WildlingKing's story a few months ago, but brought no arguments and was just rude and insulting for no reason. I guess he's just some sort of troll, so it's best not to take him too seriously.
Alright, I still doubt that, but I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt this time. Let's just assume you are not a troll for one second. In that case, I think we have to disagree about the quality of this story, because I enjoy it a lot. Judging from the other readers here, I'm not the only one who feels that way, while you are the first person I see here who dislikes the story. But please answer me a question. Since this is the second time I see you doing this, why exactly do you feel the need to randomly appear in these fanfiction threads you dislike so much, just to post some insulting one-liners? If you don't enjoy the story, that's your good right, but do me a favour and don't try to make it less enjoyable for others. Even if you think this is 'crap', that's no reason to be some damn rude about it. As someone who writes a fanfiction himself, I know how much work it can be, especially as a hobby, so even if you dislike what Stigz wrote here, at least don't be insulting.
Just guessing here, but there is a part of the fandom of asoiaf that has a very negative view towards all the fanfiction of the franchise (mainly people from westeros.org) so I'm pretty sure that's the case with this guy.
Alright, I still doubt that, but I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt this time. Let's just assume you are not a troll for one second. In… more that case, I think we have to disagree about the quality of this story, because I enjoy it a lot. Judging from the other readers here, I'm not the only one who feels that way, while you are the first person I see here who dislikes the story. But please answer me a question. Since this is the second time I see you doing this, why exactly do you feel the need to randomly appear in these fanfiction threads you dislike so much, just to post some insulting one-liners? If you don't enjoy the story, that's your good right, but do me a favour and don't try to make it less enjoyable for others. Even if you think this is 'crap', that's no reason to be some damn rude about it. As someone who writes a fanfiction himself, I know how much work it can be, especially as a hobby, so even if you dislike what Stigz wrote here, at least don't be insulting.
Samira
The Queen’s two handmaiden’s quietly talked outside the Queen’s chambers. Samira quietly walked over to them to eavesdrop on thei… morer conversation. The two handmaiden’s were elderly, both in their mid sixties at least.
“...I’ll say, I do feel sorry for the Queen though.” The other girl wore a puzzled look.
“Why’s that?” The woman yawned.
“Because she cannot have children. The King has practically lost interest in her and is fucking other young women, creating bastards everywhere in the North.” The two girls sighed and continued talking. Young women ay? Samira showed herself to the handmaiden’s, who both looked interested to know who she was.
“Oh, hello? What’re you doing up here ma’am?” Samira put on her Northern accent.
“My name is Aya Flint. I am a newly appointed handmaiden to the queen and have been sent to meet her right away.” The other woman raised an eyebrow.
“Newly appointed- why would she… Oh I get it, a yo… [view original content]
I am nit insulting at all, not once did i insult anyone. I am voicing my opinion on the quality of this story. I am also possibly saving the writer of this story time and dissappointment by letting him know that his writing sucks
Alright, I still doubt that, but I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt this time. Let's just assume you are not a troll for one second. In… more that case, I think we have to disagree about the quality of this story, because I enjoy it a lot. Judging from the other readers here, I'm not the only one who feels that way, while you are the first person I see here who dislikes the story. But please answer me a question. Since this is the second time I see you doing this, why exactly do you feel the need to randomly appear in these fanfiction threads you dislike so much, just to post some insulting one-liners? If you don't enjoy the story, that's your good right, but do me a favour and don't try to make it less enjoyable for others. Even if you think this is 'crap', that's no reason to be some damn rude about it. As someone who writes a fanfiction himself, I know how much work it can be, especially as a hobby, so even if you dislike what Stigz wrote here, at least don't be insulting.
Thank you for informing me of the quality of my story, and I will certainly take into account of what you have mentioned. Though I have a few things to say...
First off, please. If anyone dislikes this story, please voice your opinion (try and keep it as constructive as possible) and I will do my best to fix the errors.
Second. I won't lie, my writing is pretty fucking shit. All of my life in writing I've been failed just because of sentence structure or paragraph structure, so I appreciate that you are at least being somewhat honest. But don't let that make you think that I won't at least give it a try. I know that probably half the writers and readers here know and acknowledge my writing style is shit, and so be it! Though that is not what they're here for. Sure, writing is the brush of the masterpiece, but it is the idea behind it which makes the art. People read through my shitty writing and spelling mistakes to see the story, not the errors. So I understand that you're "nit" insulting and that you're clearly voicing your opinion, but just keep it constructive mate, it'll keep everyone happy in the long term.
I am nit insulting at all, not once did i insult anyone. I am voicing my opinion on the quality of this story. I am also possibly saving the writer of this story time and dissappointment by letting him know that his writing sucks
Hey you lot, sorry for that interruption. In this case, the vote is closed. Samira will moan as if having sex. Hopefully this will work! Guess you'll just have to wait and see
Next part is a Jarden part.
PS.
I would like to thank all of you who stood up and defended the story and myself against Rhaeygar's claims. Despite he being somewhat accurate, it was a kind thing which not many people see much of today. This story has really been a great experience for me to improve my writing and currently at college, what used to be C's and D's are now bumped up to B's and A's. I'm very thankful to have an audience like you, and especially Rhaeygar. Thank you guys, and I'll see you in the next part.
Well spoken. Or written Anyway, I wouldn't say your writing is "shit", even if there is room to improve (same goes for myself). Mostly your writing is pretty good. The only "problem" I sometimes have is the little bit rushed feeling in the telling - that however is a problem I also recognize from my own writing.
Anyway, I don't really get the logic of Rhaeygar. He seems to think that if one isn't a masterful writer he/she shouldn't write at all - that's complete bullshit. Writing is what improves writing, the more you do it the better you get. And fanfictions in my opinion are a nice, social, way to do it.
Hello Rhaeygar,
Thank you for informing me of the quality of my story, and I will certainly take into account of what you have mentioned.… more Though I have a few things to say...
First off, please. If anyone dislikes this story, please voice your opinion (try and keep it as constructive as possible) and I will do my best to fix the errors.
Second. I won't lie, my writing is pretty fucking shit. All of my life in writing I've been failed just because of sentence structure or paragraph structure, so I appreciate that you are at least being somewhat honest. But don't let that make you think that I won't at least give it a try. I know that probably half the writers and readers here know and acknowledge my writing style is shit, and so be it! Though that is not what they're here for. Sure, writing is the brush of the masterpiece, but it is the idea behind it which makes the art. People read through my shitty writing and spelling mistakes to s… [view original content]
The three men rode over the final peak of the Mountains of the Moon. In front of them lay Strong Song, no longer aflame but smoking. It would be a day’s ride until they reached their destination. Fortunately for Cedrick and Jarden, they had brought along Paytan to keep them company.
“Say, did I ever tell you about the time King Robar one House Hunter’s allegiance?” Jarden sighed.
“Aye, you told us.” Paytan’s face went red with embarrassment.
“Oh, sorry. Well how about this one-” Before he could start, Cedrick interrupted him.
“How about I tell you a story of my father.” Cedrick’s face was emotionless, and the tone in his voice was dull, but nonetheless Jarden was still interested.
“Alright.” Cedrick looked over at Jarden and Paytan, now staring at him with glistening eyes.
“My grandfather was a drinker, and a bad one too. Sure, I never knew him but my father told me stories. Anyway, he never cared for my father and uncle, or ruling his lands. All he cared about was a good drink, and it got him killed. So… The council took over, mainly a man called Urdon. Urdon was a formidable swordsman, but a very cunning man if I may say. My uncle, Jasper, was nineteen when he was to take the title of lord, but Urdon and half of the council did not believe a man so young was ready to bear the challenge. One day, Urdon’s supporters killed Uncle Jasper, and nearly my father. Though fortunately my father got away with a handful of loyal men.” Jarden listened carefully, but Paytan interrupted.
“Didn’t your father try to kill the traitor? I mean, he did kill your uncle…” Cedrick stared at Paytan, who was quick to shut up.
“Now as I was saying, my father took a handful of loyal men. Over a year of spreading the word of Jasper’s death to the smallfolk and vassals of the Redfort, that handful of loyal men became an army of loyal men. An army big enough to lay siege on the Redfort, and that is what my father did. He beheaded the usurper’s brother, the usurper’s wife, the usurper himself and all of his followers. That is how Lord Barrock earned his name ‘the cruel.’ He got his lordship back, but with a horrid reputation. There is a lot of respect for that man, and just as much fear.” Jarden was surprised and Paytan gobsmacked.
“Wow, this is all true?” Cedrick nodded, sending a shiver down Jarden’s spine.
“How about you Jarden, what’s your story?” Jarden gulped, he had not told many of his past. He cleared his throat but the words were slow to come.
“Well, I… I am apart of a northern house called House Frost. They are bannermen to House Bolton, the Red Kings. When my brother died, I left my house. I didn’t really have a destination I suppose, just away from my family. I headed to Winterfell, but I found I wasn’t really liked there because of my heritage. So I then headed to the Wall, but when I found I was to become a steward I decided it wasn’t for me. And then I thought, ‘perhaps the North is not the place for me.’ So I headed south, and when I heard there was a war beginning to fight off the Andal’s I thought I see what it was all about. So that’s how I ended up here.” Cedrick nodded.
“And I’m glad you did end up here, and not at the Wall. Sure, the brothers in black have their duty, but they’re not fighting invaders, just savages born on the wrong side of the Wall.” Jarden slowly nodded, guessing Cedrick was right.
Strong Song was slowly getting closer, Jarden could now see people moving about in the rubble. I sure as hell hope Lord Belmore is alive, we’re screwed if he isn’t.
No decision this time.
PS. Hey guys, sorry for a boring part. This was mainly just to flesh Barrock and Jarden up a bit, and show Cedrick's fear for his father. Next part will be a Torv part.
Pain ached through Torv’s body as he awoke in a dark room surrounded with bronze bars. Opposite of him sat the thief he had been chasing.
“Where- Where are we?” Torv sat up and looked around, outside of his cell was a sleeping guard, and another who was drinking some ale.
“Where do you think you’re at? Dufus. After you decided to chase after me and tackle me down, we got caught. Or don’t you remember? I did hit you in the head pretty hard.” The thief smirked at Torv, who now noticed the bruise on the side of his head. The thief stood up and walked over to the end of the cell, closest to the drinking guard.
“Hey handsome, let me out of here and I’ll give you the time of your life.” The thief gave a seductive smile, and the guard laughed.
“Love to dearie, but I need to piss. Don’t do anything stupid.” The guard stood up and walked over to the door, which he unlocked and walked out of. The thief sat back down.
“Gods, if you hadn’t chased me I’d have been halfway to the Vale now.” Torv was puzzled, desperately trying to think of where the Vale was.
“Where’s that? And more importantly, who’re you?” The thief flicked her long mousey brown hair back.
“You’re really not that smart, are you? And as for who I am. My name is Rose, also known as ‘The Black Thief.’ How about you?” Torv scratched his head, trying to think of the name. He accidentally scratched the bruise and went through the roof with pain.
“OW! Ow ow ow!” Rose rolled her eyes.
“Oh get over it you big baby, I don’t want to wake the guard.” Torv quieted down, still in a lot of pain.
“My name is Torv.” Torv looked over at the sleep guard, he was waking up. Rose snapped into action.
“Quick, grab me!” She quickly whispered. Torv grabbed her arm loosely.
“Not there idiot.” She rearranged his hand so it was holding her boob. Torv froze.
“Guard! This man is assaulting me!” Rose slapped Torv in the face and then jumped on him.
“OW! Get away from me!” Torv said, trying his best to cover his face. The guard rushed in and attempted to separate them, but got a hard blow in between the legs and fell to the ground.
“Well, that’s that. Come on!” Torv got up, nursing his face, and slowly followed Rose out of the cell. She grabbed her gear off of the table, Torv grabbed his sword.
“Alright, now time to get the stone. Nice meeting you Torv, best of luck with your escape!” Rose quickly ran out the unlocked door. Torv chased after her.
“Wait! Come back!” Torv ran as fast as he could, but he couldn’t catch up to her. Cow manure!
Torv stopped and listened to a sound of footsteps. Two guards on patrol were walking in Torv’s general direction, but they hadn’t spotted him. Torv quickly ran into an alleyway and hid in the shadows. The guards walked up to the alleyway then stopped for a toilet break.
“So, did you guys manage to get that Barrow scout?” The other patrolmen shook his head.
“Nah, he gave us the slip. We did manage to recover the stone though.” The man nodded.
“That’s a good thing I s’pose. Back in the crypts?” The man finished up.
“Aye. Do you hear that?” They both went quiet, Torv held his breath and sat still. A quiet scream for help came out of the barracks that Torv had just left. The two guards drew their swords and approached the still open door. Now was Torv’s chance to escape.
Torv quietly sneaked passed the guards and onto the road. He had a rough idea of where the crypts were, but heading there without a good escape route was not a good plan. Torv decided to detour and check if the horse Rolland had tied was still there.
-
Torv sneaked through the alleyways and markets until he made it back to the abandoned house, to his surprise the destrier was still tied up and nibbling away at some dead grass. Torv grabbed its reins and climbed onto its back.
“Let’s go boy.” Torv kicked the horse in the ribs, accidentally sending it into a gallop. Crap!
Torv led the mad horse through the empty markets and towards the crypts. The occasional civilians had to jump out of his way as he rode down the road. Torv stopped in front of a tomb like building with ironwood doors.The ironwood doors to the crypts were wide open, and two guards lay on the ground unconscious. Well at least I know she is here. The sound of many footsteps approaching sent Torv into a sudden fear. Torv saw Rose exiting the crypts with the stone.
“Hey, Black Thief! Get on!” Rose looked at Torv, studied her options and then ran to Torv. She jumped on the back of the horse, making the destrier rear back and ride off.
“I guess I owe you one, Torv.” Torv smiled and rode for the Hunter’s Gate. Stark soldiers stood in the way of the road, their weapons drawn. Torv steered the horse down a tight alleyway, leading to a crossroad.
“Turn right!” Rose screamed as they stopped.
Torv led the horse right and up the road until they reached the gate, they successfully evaded the Stark soldiers and slowly rode out the gates and into the Wolfswood.
“Alright horse thief, let me take the reins. I will take us to the Vale, where my contract is.” Torv shook his head.
“I’m no horse thief, this belongs to my friend. And he would have wanted me to take the stone to Barrowton.” Rose raised an eyebrow.
“Barrowton? Well I know many who would want this stone there but, I’d best not go against my contract. Not the kind of man I want on my back.” Rose held the stone, but Torv held the reins and ultimately the power of where to go.
Torv
Pain ached through Torv’s body as he awoke in a dark room surrounded with bronze bars. Opposite of him sat the thief he had been cha… moresing.
“Where- Where are we?” Torv sat up and looked around, outside of his cell was a sleeping guard, and another who was drinking some ale.
“Where do you think you’re at? Dufus. After you decided to chase after me and tackle me down, we got caught. Or don’t you remember? I did hit you in the head pretty hard.” The thief smirked at Torv, who now noticed the bruise on the side of his head. The thief stood up and walked over to the end of the cell, closest to the drinking guard.
“Hey handsome, let me out of here and I’ll give you the time of your life.” The thief gave a seductive smile, and the guard laughed.
“Love to dearie, but I need to piss. Don’t do anything stupid.” The guard stood up and walked over to the door, which he unlocked and walked out of. The thief sat back down.
“Gods, if yo… [view original content]
Torv
Pain ached through Torv’s body as he awoke in a dark room surrounded with bronze bars. Opposite of him sat the thief he had been cha… moresing.
“Where- Where are we?” Torv sat up and looked around, outside of his cell was a sleeping guard, and another who was drinking some ale.
“Where do you think you’re at? Dufus. After you decided to chase after me and tackle me down, we got caught. Or don’t you remember? I did hit you in the head pretty hard.” The thief smirked at Torv, who now noticed the bruise on the side of his head. The thief stood up and walked over to the end of the cell, closest to the drinking guard.
“Hey handsome, let me out of here and I’ll give you the time of your life.” The thief gave a seductive smile, and the guard laughed.
“Love to dearie, but I need to piss. Don’t do anything stupid.” The guard stood up and walked over to the door, which he unlocked and walked out of. The thief sat back down.
“Gods, if yo… [view original content]
Torv
Pain ached through Torv’s body as he awoke in a dark room surrounded with bronze bars. Opposite of him sat the thief he had been cha… moresing.
“Where- Where are we?” Torv sat up and looked around, outside of his cell was a sleeping guard, and another who was drinking some ale.
“Where do you think you’re at? Dufus. After you decided to chase after me and tackle me down, we got caught. Or don’t you remember? I did hit you in the head pretty hard.” The thief smirked at Torv, who now noticed the bruise on the side of his head. The thief stood up and walked over to the end of the cell, closest to the drinking guard.
“Hey handsome, let me out of here and I’ll give you the time of your life.” The thief gave a seductive smile, and the guard laughed.
“Love to dearie, but I need to piss. Don’t do anything stupid.” The guard stood up and walked over to the door, which he unlocked and walked out of. The thief sat back down.
“Gods, if yo… [view original content]
Torv
Pain ached through Torv’s body as he awoke in a dark room surrounded with bronze bars. Opposite of him sat the thief he had been cha… moresing.
“Where- Where are we?” Torv sat up and looked around, outside of his cell was a sleeping guard, and another who was drinking some ale.
“Where do you think you’re at? Dufus. After you decided to chase after me and tackle me down, we got caught. Or don’t you remember? I did hit you in the head pretty hard.” The thief smirked at Torv, who now noticed the bruise on the side of his head. The thief stood up and walked over to the end of the cell, closest to the drinking guard.
“Hey handsome, let me out of here and I’ll give you the time of your life.” The thief gave a seductive smile, and the guard laughed.
“Love to dearie, but I need to piss. Don’t do anything stupid.” The guard stood up and walked over to the door, which he unlocked and walked out of. The thief sat back down.
“Gods, if yo… [view original content]
Jarden
The three men rode over the final peak of the Mountains of the Moon. In front of them lay Strong Song, no longer aflame but smokin… moreg. It would be a day’s ride until they reached their destination. Fortunately for Cedrick and Jarden, they had brought along Paytan to keep them company.
“Say, did I ever tell you about the time King Robar one House Hunter’s allegiance?” Jarden sighed.
“Aye, you told us.” Paytan’s face went red with embarrassment.
“Oh, sorry. Well how about this one-” Before he could start, Cedrick interrupted him.
“How about I tell you a story of my father.” Cedrick’s face was emotionless, and the tone in his voice was dull, but nonetheless Jarden was still interested.
“Alright.” Cedrick looked over at Jarden and Paytan, now staring at him with glistening eyes.
“My grandfather was a drinker, and a bad one too. Sure, I never knew him but my father told me stories. Anyway, he never cared for my father and… [view original content]
Actually when I say that your writing is crap, I'm not just talking about sentence structure, ironically, and as is obvious from my own grammar and spelling errors, I couldn't care less about it. It's the story that is shit "moan like your having sex", that is fucking stupid. The entire story is 8th grade nonsense.
Hello Rhaeygar,
Thank you for informing me of the quality of my story, and I will certainly take into account of what you have mentioned.… more Though I have a few things to say...
First off, please. If anyone dislikes this story, please voice your opinion (try and keep it as constructive as possible) and I will do my best to fix the errors.
Second. I won't lie, my writing is pretty fucking shit. All of my life in writing I've been failed just because of sentence structure or paragraph structure, so I appreciate that you are at least being somewhat honest. But don't let that make you think that I won't at least give it a try. I know that probably half the writers and readers here know and acknowledge my writing style is shit, and so be it! Though that is not what they're here for. Sure, writing is the brush of the masterpiece, but it is the idea behind it which makes the art. People read through my shitty writing and spelling mistakes to s… [view original content]
Mate, if you don't like it, nobody is forcing you to read it. As you can see there are a few fans of it, so you should stay away and keep your opinion to yourself. Hmm, maybe you should make your own fanfic - we would can see how the professional fanfictions are made, what do you think?
Actually when I say that your writing is crap, I'm not just talking about sentence structure, ironically, and as is obvious from my own gram… moremar and spelling errors, I couldn't care less about it. It's the story that is shit "moan like your having sex", that is fucking stupid. The entire story is 8th grade nonsense.
Torv
Pain ached through Torv’s body as he awoke in a dark room surrounded with bronze bars. Opposite of him sat the thief he had been cha… moresing.
“Where- Where are we?” Torv sat up and looked around, outside of his cell was a sleeping guard, and another who was drinking some ale.
“Where do you think you’re at? Dufus. After you decided to chase after me and tackle me down, we got caught. Or don’t you remember? I did hit you in the head pretty hard.” The thief smirked at Torv, who now noticed the bruise on the side of his head. The thief stood up and walked over to the end of the cell, closest to the drinking guard.
“Hey handsome, let me out of here and I’ll give you the time of your life.” The thief gave a seductive smile, and the guard laughed.
“Love to dearie, but I need to piss. Don’t do anything stupid.” The guard stood up and walked over to the door, which he unlocked and walked out of. The thief sat back down.
“Gods, if yo… [view original content]
Torv
Pain ached through Torv’s body as he awoke in a dark room surrounded with bronze bars. Opposite of him sat the thief he had been cha… moresing.
“Where- Where are we?” Torv sat up and looked around, outside of his cell was a sleeping guard, and another who was drinking some ale.
“Where do you think you’re at? Dufus. After you decided to chase after me and tackle me down, we got caught. Or don’t you remember? I did hit you in the head pretty hard.” The thief smirked at Torv, who now noticed the bruise on the side of his head. The thief stood up and walked over to the end of the cell, closest to the drinking guard.
“Hey handsome, let me out of here and I’ll give you the time of your life.” The thief gave a seductive smile, and the guard laughed.
“Love to dearie, but I need to piss. Don’t do anything stupid.” The guard stood up and walked over to the door, which he unlocked and walked out of. The thief sat back down.
“Gods, if yo… [view original content]
Torv
Pain ached through Torv’s body as he awoke in a dark room surrounded with bronze bars. Opposite of him sat the thief he had been cha… moresing.
“Where- Where are we?” Torv sat up and looked around, outside of his cell was a sleeping guard, and another who was drinking some ale.
“Where do you think you’re at? Dufus. After you decided to chase after me and tackle me down, we got caught. Or don’t you remember? I did hit you in the head pretty hard.” The thief smirked at Torv, who now noticed the bruise on the side of his head. The thief stood up and walked over to the end of the cell, closest to the drinking guard.
“Hey handsome, let me out of here and I’ll give you the time of your life.” The thief gave a seductive smile, and the guard laughed.
“Love to dearie, but I need to piss. Don’t do anything stupid.” The guard stood up and walked over to the door, which he unlocked and walked out of. The thief sat back down.
“Gods, if yo… [view original content]
GRRM is awesome enough a writer that I wouldn't dare put my putrid writing skills anywhere near his creation, and neither should anyone else. I'd rather create something original but I'm a computer scientist, not a writer.
Mate, if you don't like it, nobody is forcing you to read it. As you can see there are a few fans of it, so you should stay away and keep yo… moreur opinion to yourself. Hmm, maybe you should make your own fanfic - we would can see how the professional fanfictions are made, what do you think?
Oh, calm - we are just using his universe, story is loosely connected with Martin's books (which are awesome, i agree), and that's all. We don't expect that the person at the forum will be as great writer as he is, but we can enjoy what we have - some interesting, interactive story.
GRRM is awesome enough a writer that I wouldn't dare put my putrid writing skills anywhere near his creation, and neither should anyone else. I'd rather create something original but I'm a computer scientist, not a writer.
Torv
Pain ached through Torv’s body as he awoke in a dark room surrounded with bronze bars. Opposite of him sat the thief he had been cha… moresing.
“Where- Where are we?” Torv sat up and looked around, outside of his cell was a sleeping guard, and another who was drinking some ale.
“Where do you think you’re at? Dufus. After you decided to chase after me and tackle me down, we got caught. Or don’t you remember? I did hit you in the head pretty hard.” The thief smirked at Torv, who now noticed the bruise on the side of his head. The thief stood up and walked over to the end of the cell, closest to the drinking guard.
“Hey handsome, let me out of here and I’ll give you the time of your life.” The thief gave a seductive smile, and the guard laughed.
“Love to dearie, but I need to piss. Don’t do anything stupid.” The guard stood up and walked over to the door, which he unlocked and walked out of. The thief sat back down.
“Gods, if yo… [view original content]
GRRM is awesome enough a writer that I wouldn't dare put my putrid writing skills anywhere near his creation, and neither should anyone else. I'd rather create something original but I'm a computer scientist, not a writer.
Torv
Pain ached through Torv’s body as he awoke in a dark room surrounded with bronze bars. Opposite of him sat the thief he had been cha… moresing.
“Where- Where are we?” Torv sat up and looked around, outside of his cell was a sleeping guard, and another who was drinking some ale.
“Where do you think you’re at? Dufus. After you decided to chase after me and tackle me down, we got caught. Or don’t you remember? I did hit you in the head pretty hard.” The thief smirked at Torv, who now noticed the bruise on the side of his head. The thief stood up and walked over to the end of the cell, closest to the drinking guard.
“Hey handsome, let me out of here and I’ll give you the time of your life.” The thief gave a seductive smile, and the guard laughed.
“Love to dearie, but I need to piss. Don’t do anything stupid.” The guard stood up and walked over to the door, which he unlocked and walked out of. The thief sat back down.
“Gods, if yo… [view original content]
Lord Eddon and Tobas accompanied Dormund into the Dreadfort. The wall’s were stained with dry blood which had not been cleaned for centuries, the stench of death filled the halls. Dormund waved to the guards, who opened the doors to the throne room. Tobas and Lord Eddon followed Dormund to the throne where King Rogar stood, anger and sadness haunting his eyes. Beneath him lay the body of Edwyn Bolton, the heir of the Dreadfort. Dormund and his company knelt down once they were in front of the king. Rogar remained silent, King Theon stood on the other end of the room with his generals. Dormund lifted his head, next to the throne was Carver and Ryden. Dormund smiled, glad to see Ryden was back to his health.
“Is something funny, Dormund? Think killing off your brother, and making yourself the heir of my castle is funny? Rise you fools!” Dormund and the others rose. Rogar was a tall man, but now Dormund stood at his father’s level.
“Father, if I could have saved him I would have. Tobas was…” Rogar snapped.
“Do you think I give a shit, Dormund?! My son, my heir, is now dead. Leaving me with a foolish boy to rule after I am gone, why have the god's been so cruel.” Rogar turned and lifted his hand to his face, beginning to weep.
“Father… I’m sorry.” Rogar turned slowly, his face boiling with anger.
“And you, Lord Eddon. You fought by my son’s side, though you chose to save King Stark! Remind me, who is your liege?” Lord Eddon grew sad, his face full of regret.
“Your grace…” Rogar shook his head.
“Your grace means nothing now. Guards, kill him.” Carver began to walk down, but Ryden grabbed his arm. Theon Stark quickly spoke up.
“King Rogar, I understand your pain and feeling for revenge, believe me I do. Though Lord Eddon fought valiantly, and saved many lives. He should be rewarded, not punished.” Rogar hid his face in the shadows.
“Fine Stark. Eddon, you may live. Return to your castle, that is your reward. Mercy.” Lord Eddon bowed and left.
“You too Stark, before I decide this alliance is no more.” King Theon stared Rogar down, but seemed to not argue in leaving. Tobas joined him.
The room was silent for a long while. Dormund stood staring at the ground, while King Rogar sat himself on his throne. The silence was suddenly broken as the doors burst open and Bolton soldiers entered. Rogar laughed quietly to himself.
“You see, Dormund. You have taken something from me, and the punishment for theft in the Dreadfort is death” The soldiers formed a circle around Dormund.
“I am your son!” Dormund’s hands grew sweaty, he was unarmed and that made him grow nervous. He looked up to Ryden, who had moved his hand to his hilt and had walked down the stairs of the throne.
“You killed my son, boy. Now It’s time for an exchange. A life for a life! Ryden, kill my disgraceful son and I will spare your house. If you do not, I will kill you and destroy your house.” Rogar smirked, Ryden stood frozen in one spot.
“You have till the count of three, Ryden.” Dormund shook his head.
“Father, this is insane!” Dormund tried to approach Ryden but the soldiers around him drew their swords.
“One.” Tears began to form around Ryden’s eyes.
“Your grace, I cannot!” Rogar coldly stared at him.
“You can and you will. Two.” Ryden now began to shake, he unsheathed his sword.
“At least give him a weapon, your grace!” Rogar paused, then shook his head.
“My eldest boy was disarmed when he died on the battlefield. One.” Tears streamed down Ryden’s face, he looked at Dormund.
“I’m sorry.” Ryden charged at Dormund and swung his sword at him. Dormund dodged the blow and grabbed Ryden’s arm.
Ryden threw Dormund to the ground and tried to lunge his blade into him. Dormund dodged the lunges by rolling and missing them. Dormund got up and tackled the now weeping man to the ground. Dormund threw a punch at Ryden, but he blocked it with his arms. Ryden grabbed Dormund’s throat and secured a tight and firm grip around it. Ryden used his free hand to punch Dormund in the face and throw him to the ground. Blood began to flood Dormund’s mouth, which he quickly spat out. Ryden exhaustly climbed on top of Dormund and placed his hands around Dormund’s neck, slowly beginning to squeeze.
“Ryden” Dormund managed to say, coughing out blood as he did. Ryden took to his senses and released the tension around Dormund’s throat. Ryden looked up to the king.
“I won’t do this!” The king shook his head in disappointment.
“Then you are no longer any use to me, guards!” Ryden grabbed his sword and stood, but recieved a blade through his back. He elbowed his opponent and managed to parry the next blow, but was soon knocked to the ground after a sword sliced through his achilles. Dormund stared into Ryden’s fearful eyes before they went blank and cold. The life faded out of Ryden as the sixth blade was stuck into him.
“NO!!!” Dormund got up and ran towards Rogar, unarmed but ready to kill him. Before he could get anywhere near him, he felt a sudden pain in his leg. Dormund fell to the ground, he turned back to see an arrow sticking through his thigh. Tears ran down his face, he turned to Rogar.
“WHY!” He screamed. Rogar ordered his men to leave, unsheathed his dagger, and walked down to Dormund, squatting next to him.
“I’ll tell you why. Your mother was a whore from a house you have fallen to love for, House Frost. I legitimised you at a young age, made you a Bolton. But I will never put a bastard on my throne. That is why you must die, Dormund Snow.” Rogar put his blade to Dormund’s throat and stuck it in. Dormund began to choke and go through shock, the world began to fall all around him. He grabbed his father’s arm as he passed, seeing a tear jerk out of his eye.
Dormund
Lord Eddon and Tobas accompanied Dormund into the Dreadfort. The wall’s were stained with dry blood which had not been cleaned fo… morer centuries, the stench of death filled the halls. Dormund waved to the guards, who opened the doors to the throne room. Tobas and Lord Eddon followed Dormund to the throne where King Rogar stood, anger and sadness haunting his eyes. Beneath him lay the body of Edwyn Bolton, the heir of the Dreadfort. Dormund and his company knelt down once they were in front of the king. Rogar remained silent, King Theon stood on the other end of the room with his generals. Dormund lifted his head, next to the throne was Carver and Ryden. Dormund smiled, glad to see Ryden was back to his health.
“Is something funny, Dormund? Think killing off your brother, and making yourself the heir of my castle is funny? Rise you fools!” Dormund and the others rose. Rogar was a tall man, but now Dormund stood at his father’s level.… [view original content]
Comments
[Moan loudly as if having sex]
Wow this is just awful
How so?
Horrible writing, it sucks
Horrible writing, you don't seem to be much better seeing as you spelt Rhaegar wrong.
[Moan loudly as if having sex]
You have a rather interesting definiton of awful, because this story is anything but.
Don't bother with that guy. He said the same about WildlingKing's story a few months ago, but brought no arguments and was just rude and insulting for no reason. I guess he's just some sort of troll, so it's best not to take him too seriously.
Im not trolling, its just true that most fan fiction is crap, and this is crap in its purest form
Alright, I still doubt that, but I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt this time. Let's just assume you are not a troll for one second. In that case, I think we have to disagree about the quality of this story, because I enjoy it a lot. Judging from the other readers here, I'm not the only one who feels that way, while you are the first person I see here who dislikes the story. But please answer me a question. Since this is the second time I see you doing this, why exactly do you feel the need to randomly appear in these fanfiction threads you dislike so much, just to post some insulting one-liners? If you don't enjoy the story, that's your good right, but do me a favour and don't try to make it less enjoyable for others. Even if you think this is 'crap', that's no reason to be some damn rude about it. As someone who writes a fanfiction himself, I know how much work it can be, especially as a hobby, so even if you dislike what Stigz wrote here, at least don't be insulting.
Just guessing here, but there is a part of the fandom of asoiaf that has a very negative view towards all the fanfiction of the franchise (mainly people from westeros.org) so I'm pretty sure that's the case with this guy.
[Moan loudly as if having sex]
I am nit insulting at all, not once did i insult anyone. I am voicing my opinion on the quality of this story. I am also possibly saving the writer of this story time and dissappointment by letting him know that his writing sucks
Hello Rhaeygar,
Thank you for informing me of the quality of my story, and I will certainly take into account of what you have mentioned. Though I have a few things to say...
First off, please. If anyone dislikes this story, please voice your opinion (try and keep it as constructive as possible) and I will do my best to fix the errors.
Second. I won't lie, my writing is pretty fucking shit. All of my life in writing I've been failed just because of sentence structure or paragraph structure, so I appreciate that you are at least being somewhat honest. But don't let that make you think that I won't at least give it a try. I know that probably half the writers and readers here know and acknowledge my writing style is shit, and so be it! Though that is not what they're here for. Sure, writing is the brush of the masterpiece, but it is the idea behind it which makes the art. People read through my shitty writing and spelling mistakes to see the story, not the errors. So I understand that you're "nit" insulting and that you're clearly voicing your opinion, but just keep it constructive mate, it'll keep everyone happy in the long term.
Hey you lot, sorry for that interruption. In this case, the vote is closed. Samira will moan as if having sex. Hopefully this will work! Guess you'll just have to wait and see
Next part is a Jarden part.
PS.
I would like to thank all of you who stood up and defended the story and myself against Rhaeygar's claims. Despite he being somewhat accurate, it was a kind thing which not many people see much of today. This story has really been a great experience for me to improve my writing and currently at college, what used to be C's and D's are now bumped up to B's and A's. I'm very thankful to have an audience like you, and especially Rhaeygar. Thank you guys, and I'll see you in the next part.
-Stigz
Well spoken. Or written
Anyway, I wouldn't say your writing is "shit", even if there is room to improve (same goes for myself). Mostly your writing is pretty good. The only "problem" I sometimes have is the little bit rushed feeling in the telling - that however is a problem I also recognize from my own writing.
Anyway, I don't really get the logic of Rhaeygar. He seems to think that if one isn't a masterful writer he/she shouldn't write at all - that's complete bullshit. Writing is what improves writing, the more you do it the better you get. And fanfictions in my opinion are a nice, social, way to do it.
Hey guys, to whoever wrote Simon Whitehill. Could you please message me as I have a few questions for your character. Thank you!
Jarden
The three men rode over the final peak of the Mountains of the Moon. In front of them lay Strong Song, no longer aflame but smoking. It would be a day’s ride until they reached their destination. Fortunately for Cedrick and Jarden, they had brought along Paytan to keep them company.
“Say, did I ever tell you about the time King Robar one House Hunter’s allegiance?” Jarden sighed.
“Aye, you told us.” Paytan’s face went red with embarrassment.
“Oh, sorry. Well how about this one-” Before he could start, Cedrick interrupted him.
“How about I tell you a story of my father.” Cedrick’s face was emotionless, and the tone in his voice was dull, but nonetheless Jarden was still interested.
“Alright.” Cedrick looked over at Jarden and Paytan, now staring at him with glistening eyes.
“My grandfather was a drinker, and a bad one too. Sure, I never knew him but my father told me stories. Anyway, he never cared for my father and uncle, or ruling his lands. All he cared about was a good drink, and it got him killed. So… The council took over, mainly a man called Urdon. Urdon was a formidable swordsman, but a very cunning man if I may say. My uncle, Jasper, was nineteen when he was to take the title of lord, but Urdon and half of the council did not believe a man so young was ready to bear the challenge. One day, Urdon’s supporters killed Uncle Jasper, and nearly my father. Though fortunately my father got away with a handful of loyal men.” Jarden listened carefully, but Paytan interrupted.
“Didn’t your father try to kill the traitor? I mean, he did kill your uncle…” Cedrick stared at Paytan, who was quick to shut up.
“Now as I was saying, my father took a handful of loyal men. Over a year of spreading the word of Jasper’s death to the smallfolk and vassals of the Redfort, that handful of loyal men became an army of loyal men. An army big enough to lay siege on the Redfort, and that is what my father did. He beheaded the usurper’s brother, the usurper’s wife, the usurper himself and all of his followers. That is how Lord Barrock earned his name ‘the cruel.’ He got his lordship back, but with a horrid reputation. There is a lot of respect for that man, and just as much fear.” Jarden was surprised and Paytan gobsmacked.
“Wow, this is all true?” Cedrick nodded, sending a shiver down Jarden’s spine.
“How about you Jarden, what’s your story?” Jarden gulped, he had not told many of his past. He cleared his throat but the words were slow to come.
“Well, I… I am apart of a northern house called House Frost. They are bannermen to House Bolton, the Red Kings. When my brother died, I left my house. I didn’t really have a destination I suppose, just away from my family. I headed to Winterfell, but I found I wasn’t really liked there because of my heritage. So I then headed to the Wall, but when I found I was to become a steward I decided it wasn’t for me. And then I thought, ‘perhaps the North is not the place for me.’ So I headed south, and when I heard there was a war beginning to fight off the Andal’s I thought I see what it was all about. So that’s how I ended up here.” Cedrick nodded.
“And I’m glad you did end up here, and not at the Wall. Sure, the brothers in black have their duty, but they’re not fighting invaders, just savages born on the wrong side of the Wall.” Jarden slowly nodded, guessing Cedrick was right.
Strong Song was slowly getting closer, Jarden could now see people moving about in the rubble. I sure as hell hope Lord Belmore is alive, we’re screwed if he isn’t.
No decision this time.
PS. Hey guys, sorry for a boring part. This was mainly just to flesh Barrock and Jarden up a bit, and show Cedrick's fear for his father. Next part will be a Torv part.
Torv
Pain ached through Torv’s body as he awoke in a dark room surrounded with bronze bars. Opposite of him sat the thief he had been chasing.
“Where- Where are we?” Torv sat up and looked around, outside of his cell was a sleeping guard, and another who was drinking some ale.
“Where do you think you’re at? Dufus. After you decided to chase after me and tackle me down, we got caught. Or don’t you remember? I did hit you in the head pretty hard.” The thief smirked at Torv, who now noticed the bruise on the side of his head. The thief stood up and walked over to the end of the cell, closest to the drinking guard.
“Hey handsome, let me out of here and I’ll give you the time of your life.” The thief gave a seductive smile, and the guard laughed.
“Love to dearie, but I need to piss. Don’t do anything stupid.” The guard stood up and walked over to the door, which he unlocked and walked out of. The thief sat back down.
“Gods, if you hadn’t chased me I’d have been halfway to the Vale now.” Torv was puzzled, desperately trying to think of where the Vale was.
“Where’s that? And more importantly, who’re you?” The thief flicked her long mousey brown hair back.
“You’re really not that smart, are you? And as for who I am. My name is Rose, also known as ‘The Black Thief.’ How about you?” Torv scratched his head, trying to think of the name. He accidentally scratched the bruise and went through the roof with pain.
“OW! Ow ow ow!” Rose rolled her eyes.
“Oh get over it you big baby, I don’t want to wake the guard.” Torv quieted down, still in a lot of pain.
“My name is Torv.” Torv looked over at the sleep guard, he was waking up. Rose snapped into action.
“Quick, grab me!” She quickly whispered. Torv grabbed her arm loosely.
“Not there idiot.” She rearranged his hand so it was holding her boob. Torv froze.
“Guard! This man is assaulting me!” Rose slapped Torv in the face and then jumped on him.
“OW! Get away from me!” Torv said, trying his best to cover his face. The guard rushed in and attempted to separate them, but got a hard blow in between the legs and fell to the ground.
“Well, that’s that. Come on!” Torv got up, nursing his face, and slowly followed Rose out of the cell. She grabbed her gear off of the table, Torv grabbed his sword.
“Alright, now time to get the stone. Nice meeting you Torv, best of luck with your escape!” Rose quickly ran out the unlocked door. Torv chased after her.
“Wait! Come back!” Torv ran as fast as he could, but he couldn’t catch up to her. Cow manure!
Torv stopped and listened to a sound of footsteps. Two guards on patrol were walking in Torv’s general direction, but they hadn’t spotted him. Torv quickly ran into an alleyway and hid in the shadows. The guards walked up to the alleyway then stopped for a toilet break.
“So, did you guys manage to get that Barrow scout?” The other patrolmen shook his head.
“Nah, he gave us the slip. We did manage to recover the stone though.” The man nodded.
“That’s a good thing I s’pose. Back in the crypts?” The man finished up.
“Aye. Do you hear that?” They both went quiet, Torv held his breath and sat still. A quiet scream for help came out of the barracks that Torv had just left. The two guards drew their swords and approached the still open door. Now was Torv’s chance to escape.
Torv quietly sneaked passed the guards and onto the road. He had a rough idea of where the crypts were, but heading there without a good escape route was not a good plan. Torv decided to detour and check if the horse Rolland had tied was still there.
-
Torv sneaked through the alleyways and markets until he made it back to the abandoned house, to his surprise the destrier was still tied up and nibbling away at some dead grass. Torv grabbed its reins and climbed onto its back.
“Let’s go boy.” Torv kicked the horse in the ribs, accidentally sending it into a gallop. Crap!
Torv led the mad horse through the empty markets and towards the crypts. The occasional civilians had to jump out of his way as he rode down the road. Torv stopped in front of a tomb like building with ironwood doors.The ironwood doors to the crypts were wide open, and two guards lay on the ground unconscious. Well at least I know she is here. The sound of many footsteps approaching sent Torv into a sudden fear. Torv saw Rose exiting the crypts with the stone.
“Hey, Black Thief! Get on!” Rose looked at Torv, studied her options and then ran to Torv. She jumped on the back of the horse, making the destrier rear back and ride off.
“I guess I owe you one, Torv.” Torv smiled and rode for the Hunter’s Gate. Stark soldiers stood in the way of the road, their weapons drawn. Torv steered the horse down a tight alleyway, leading to a crossroad.
“Turn right!” Rose screamed as they stopped.
Torv led the horse right and up the road until they reached the gate, they successfully evaded the Stark soldiers and slowly rode out the gates and into the Wolfswood.
“Alright horse thief, let me take the reins. I will take us to the Vale, where my contract is.” Torv shook his head.
“I’m no horse thief, this belongs to my friend. And he would have wanted me to take the stone to Barrowton.” Rose raised an eyebrow.
“Barrowton? Well I know many who would want this stone there but, I’d best not go against my contract. Not the kind of man I want on my back.” Rose held the stone, but Torv held the reins and ultimately the power of where to go.
[Go to Barrowton] [Go to the Vale]
[Go to Barrowton]
Two parts again, that's very nice
[Go to Barrowton]
[Go to Barrowton]
[Go to the Vale]
I liked this part!
Well, it was mainly around my characters so that's one reason, but I think slower parts are good now and then.
Actually when I say that your writing is crap, I'm not just talking about sentence structure, ironically, and as is obvious from my own grammar and spelling errors, I couldn't care less about it. It's the story that is shit "moan like your having sex", that is fucking stupid. The entire story is 8th grade nonsense.
Mate, if you don't like it, nobody is forcing you to read it. As you can see there are a few fans of it, so you should stay away and keep your opinion to yourself. Hmm, maybe you should make your own fanfic - we would can see how the professional fanfictions are made, what do you think?
[Go to Barrowton]
[Go to Barrowton]
[Go to Barrowton]
GRRM is awesome enough a writer that I wouldn't dare put my putrid writing skills anywhere near his creation, and neither should anyone else. I'd rather create something original but I'm a computer scientist, not a writer.
Oh, calm - we are just using his universe, story is loosely connected with Martin's books (which are awesome, i agree), and that's all. We don't expect that the person at the forum will be as great writer as he is, but we can enjoy what we have - some interesting, interactive story.
[Go to Barrowton]
So I was right with my assumption
[Go to Barrowton]
[Go to Barrowton]
Yep @WildlingKing, you were right.
Well, three if you include TNC
Vote closed. Torv will take Rose and the stone to Barrowton
Next part is a Dormund part, and is the finale of Chapter 2
Dormund
Lord Eddon and Tobas accompanied Dormund into the Dreadfort. The wall’s were stained with dry blood which had not been cleaned for centuries, the stench of death filled the halls. Dormund waved to the guards, who opened the doors to the throne room. Tobas and Lord Eddon followed Dormund to the throne where King Rogar stood, anger and sadness haunting his eyes. Beneath him lay the body of Edwyn Bolton, the heir of the Dreadfort. Dormund and his company knelt down once they were in front of the king. Rogar remained silent, King Theon stood on the other end of the room with his generals. Dormund lifted his head, next to the throne was Carver and Ryden. Dormund smiled, glad to see Ryden was back to his health.
“Is something funny, Dormund? Think killing off your brother, and making yourself the heir of my castle is funny? Rise you fools!” Dormund and the others rose. Rogar was a tall man, but now Dormund stood at his father’s level.
“Father, if I could have saved him I would have. Tobas was…” Rogar snapped.
“Do you think I give a shit, Dormund?! My son, my heir, is now dead. Leaving me with a foolish boy to rule after I am gone, why have the god's been so cruel.” Rogar turned and lifted his hand to his face, beginning to weep.
“Father… I’m sorry.” Rogar turned slowly, his face boiling with anger.
“And you, Lord Eddon. You fought by my son’s side, though you chose to save King Stark! Remind me, who is your liege?” Lord Eddon grew sad, his face full of regret.
“Your grace…” Rogar shook his head.
“Your grace means nothing now. Guards, kill him.” Carver began to walk down, but Ryden grabbed his arm. Theon Stark quickly spoke up.
“King Rogar, I understand your pain and feeling for revenge, believe me I do. Though Lord Eddon fought valiantly, and saved many lives. He should be rewarded, not punished.” Rogar hid his face in the shadows.
“Fine Stark. Eddon, you may live. Return to your castle, that is your reward. Mercy.” Lord Eddon bowed and left.
“You too Stark, before I decide this alliance is no more.” King Theon stared Rogar down, but seemed to not argue in leaving. Tobas joined him.
The room was silent for a long while. Dormund stood staring at the ground, while King Rogar sat himself on his throne. The silence was suddenly broken as the doors burst open and Bolton soldiers entered. Rogar laughed quietly to himself.
“You see, Dormund. You have taken something from me, and the punishment for theft in the Dreadfort is death” The soldiers formed a circle around Dormund.
“I am your son!” Dormund’s hands grew sweaty, he was unarmed and that made him grow nervous. He looked up to Ryden, who had moved his hand to his hilt and had walked down the stairs of the throne.
“You killed my son, boy. Now It’s time for an exchange. A life for a life! Ryden, kill my disgraceful son and I will spare your house. If you do not, I will kill you and destroy your house.” Rogar smirked, Ryden stood frozen in one spot.
“You have till the count of three, Ryden.” Dormund shook his head.
“Father, this is insane!” Dormund tried to approach Ryden but the soldiers around him drew their swords.
“One.” Tears began to form around Ryden’s eyes.
“Your grace, I cannot!” Rogar coldly stared at him.
“You can and you will. Two.” Ryden now began to shake, he unsheathed his sword.
“At least give him a weapon, your grace!” Rogar paused, then shook his head.
“My eldest boy was disarmed when he died on the battlefield. One.” Tears streamed down Ryden’s face, he looked at Dormund.
“I’m sorry.” Ryden charged at Dormund and swung his sword at him. Dormund dodged the blow and grabbed Ryden’s arm.
Ryden threw Dormund to the ground and tried to lunge his blade into him. Dormund dodged the lunges by rolling and missing them. Dormund got up and tackled the now weeping man to the ground. Dormund threw a punch at Ryden, but he blocked it with his arms. Ryden grabbed Dormund’s throat and secured a tight and firm grip around it. Ryden used his free hand to punch Dormund in the face and throw him to the ground. Blood began to flood Dormund’s mouth, which he quickly spat out. Ryden exhaustly climbed on top of Dormund and placed his hands around Dormund’s neck, slowly beginning to squeeze.
“Ryden” Dormund managed to say, coughing out blood as he did. Ryden took to his senses and released the tension around Dormund’s throat. Ryden looked up to the king.
“I won’t do this!” The king shook his head in disappointment.
“Then you are no longer any use to me, guards!” Ryden grabbed his sword and stood, but recieved a blade through his back. He elbowed his opponent and managed to parry the next blow, but was soon knocked to the ground after a sword sliced through his achilles. Dormund stared into Ryden’s fearful eyes before they went blank and cold. The life faded out of Ryden as the sixth blade was stuck into him.
“NO!!!” Dormund got up and ran towards Rogar, unarmed but ready to kill him. Before he could get anywhere near him, he felt a sudden pain in his leg. Dormund fell to the ground, he turned back to see an arrow sticking through his thigh. Tears ran down his face, he turned to Rogar.
“WHY!” He screamed. Rogar ordered his men to leave, unsheathed his dagger, and walked down to Dormund, squatting next to him.
“I’ll tell you why. Your mother was a whore from a house you have fallen to love for, House Frost. I legitimised you at a young age, made you a Bolton. But I will never put a bastard on my throne. That is why you must die, Dormund Snow.” Rogar put his blade to Dormund’s throat and stuck it in. Dormund began to choke and go through shock, the world began to fall all around him. He grabbed his father’s arm as he passed, seeing a tear jerk out of his eye.
No decision this time.
End of Chapter 2
Oh damn, I don't even... I mean, I knew that Rogar was sick, but I never thought he would go that far and kill his own son. Man, fuck the Boltons!