I want to be like others. I want to have crushes on boys, post stupid selfies, ...
We have a thread here somewhere for posting stupid selfies. I'm sure that solves all of your problems.
No, seriously. A few days ago at the discount store around here, I saw a couple of teenage girls, and one was taking a picture of the other, who was pretending to down an entire bottle of vegetable oil. I'm not sure what the point of that was (kids these days, sheesh), but they seemed to be having fun doing it.
So that's what you need to do. Find a friend willing to take a picture of you pretending to drink an entire bottle of vegetable oil. Then post it here if you dare. You will be amazed at what this does for you.
inhales Boi. I don't even know where to start.
It feels like I live my life by inertia. Wake up, eat, go to school, then go home and get … moreto sleep just because I have to. Everything I used to do all these years is absolutely pointless; the whole world seems shallow. At this point, I'm not sure in anything anymore, so I just prescind from reality because it's easiest route to take. Every day I descend deeper into myself, spending hours in self-analysis and fantasies. I do connect with the outer world but quite vacantly. In the past I studied hard, socialized, looked for entertainment and now I'm free of any needs. I don't want anything else but to lock up in my house and spend days alone, immersed in my thoughts. All my attempts to truly embed into this world have failed, so feel more lively inside my own self.
I get on well with otehr kids my age, but it's meaningless because, no matter how hard I try to become one of them, I'll never un… [view original content]
This is something that I'm a bit anxious about sharing but I can't count on anyone in my life and I don't have anywhere to turn to. Since about January last year, I've had suicidal thoughts and I've felt angry, stressed, tired and just miserable. I don't want to say I have depression because there's no real problem in my life. My family isn't poor or anything and I have a fairly decent life, but when I'm at school and a lot of times when I'm at home I just feel miserable. I feel like there's no reward worth all the stress and work in life and I never feel like I'm just not capable of meeting the standards that people expect from me. Half the time at school I don't feel motivated to do the work. I feel like my friends don't actually like me and they're holding it against me because I get angry because I'm spending all my time being told what to do by teachers for no reason other than people say life will get better. I feel like I don't have time for all the work I get from school and the things that matter to me in life, and because of it I end up getting angry in class and I think my friends hold it against me because I can't stop myself from getting stressed. Its gotten to the point where I can't go to my friends for support and I just can't trust my parents or people at school because it makes me feel weak that I can't get through life without help. I know that if I tried hard enough I could get through school with decent grades and get a decent job but I feel like there's no reward in life for all that work. I don know what to do at this point because I can tell my friends at school are sick of me and I get so anxious talking to people that Ive been putting off getting a job. I wish I could change and be a better person but I don't think I have the motivation to do it and I don't know what to do at this point. I'm posting here because people here have always been fairly supportive when I've talked about being stressed and I think I should be honest with you guys about how I'm feeling. Thank you for reading this and I apologise for the long rant. I didn't know where else to post this.
I know you're in Australia - do you have time off for summer coming up? I'm not sure how it works down there.
It's possible to have depression and anxiety without having some cause in your life to point at. If you think that might be happening to you, as opposed to some short-term burnout from too much overwhelming stuff, it may be time to speak to a doctor about it. That doesn't make you weak. That means you're doing something to fix your life. Weak people don't do that.
This is something that I'm a bit anxious about sharing but I can't count on anyone in my life and I don't have anywhere to turn to. Since ab… moreout January last year, I've had suicidal thoughts and I've felt angry, stressed, tired and just miserable. I don't want to say I have depression because there's no real problem in my life. My family isn't poor or anything and I have a fairly decent life, but when I'm at school and a lot of times when I'm at home I just feel miserable. I feel like there's no reward worth all the stress and work in life and I never feel like I'm just not capable of meeting the standards that people expect from me. Half the time at school I don't feel motivated to do the work. I feel like my friends don't actually like me and they're holding it against me because I get angry because I'm spending all my time being told what to do by teachers for no reason other than people say life will get better. I feel like I don't have ti… [view original content]
I know that finding a friend would probably solve most of my problems but I don't know how to do it. I just can't initiate a relationship. I leave a good impression on people but for some reason nobody wants to get to know me better and it's really frustrating.
For a few years I had sinsrhung like an illusion of friendship - hanged with three of my classmates. But this year one of them left school abd doesn't wish to keep in touch with me anymore, other two became typical high school besties that won't let anyone even come close to them. So I'm left with nothing again. I guess when I felt out of place all this time I was true.
Life proves that you can't just find friends - they happen accidentally. You never know when you'll meet someone.. but sitting idle and waiting isn't an option too. At this point, I just want shitty high school to get over, so I can move to another city to study in university, change my life drastically, meet new people and renew myself. Maybe after these two years pass, I'll finally feel free and calm.
I want to be like others. I want to have crushes on boys, post stupid selfies, ...
We have a thread here somewhere for posting stupi… mored selfies. I'm sure that solves all of your problems.
No, seriously. A few days ago at the discount store around here, I saw a couple of teenage girls, and one was taking a picture of the other, who was pretending to down an entire bottle of vegetable oil. I'm not sure what the point of that was (kids these days, sheesh), but they seemed to be having fun doing it.
So that's what you need to do. Find a friend willing to take a picture of you pretending to drink an entire bottle of vegetable oil. Then post it here if you dare. You will be amazed at what this does for you.
Ehhhhh I just need to rant because if I don’t, I’m going to be in an awful mood today.
I am like so freaking stressed that it’s unbelievable. I have so much to do and not nearly enough time, it is driving me insane. I finished an entire semesters worth of work in two weeks and now I have another semester to do and I have to write an entire script for work tonight but I already chose against that and like I’m so frustrated?
Ugh, I’m so tired. I hate always working, it drives me mad. I say I like it because wow, positivity! But I’m so ready for a nap. Eh, whatever, it’s all good! It’ll be over soon enough!
At this point, I just want shitty high school to get over, so I can move to another city to study in university, change my life drastically, meet new people and renew myself. Maybe after these two years pass, I'll finally feel free and calm.
University (especially in another city) can blast your social life wide open if you let it. I just didn't know if you wanted to wait that long.
While you're still in high school, are there any clubs you might be interested in? When I was in high school, I was a member of an astronomy club, which included a trip to an observatory to look through their giant telescope. To pay for this trip, we had to sell candy, which also gave me an excuse to talk to other random students. I know others were in a theatre group, and other things that give you an excuse to socialize.
I know that finding a friend would probably solve most of my problems but I don't know how to do it. I just can't initiate a relationship. I… more leave a good impression on people but for some reason nobody wants to get to know me better and it's really frustrating.
For a few years I had sinsrhung like an illusion of friendship - hanged with three of my classmates. But this year one of them left school abd doesn't wish to keep in touch with me anymore, other two became typical high school besties that won't let anyone even come close to them. So I'm left with nothing again. I guess when I felt out of place all this time I was true.
Life proves that you can't just find friends - they happen accidentally. You never know when you'll meet someone.. but sitting idle and waiting isn't an option too. At this point, I just want shitty high school to get over, so I can move to another city to study in university, change my life drastically, meet new… [view original content]
so i get called in to do nightshift when i was up all night and now have to wait until tomorrow until i can get more internet time and i have a miniscule bit of this shit phone data left i will be so happy when i get my mortgage
Honestly, it's more about changing something. I feel like my life has stagnated, I've overgrown my surroundings and I really need to move on but obviously I can't. So leaving my hometown just feels like a start of a new life. It's my only dream and goal I live up to currently.
Joining a club would be nice... but studying sucks out all the powers from me. I do try to attend different events - for example, yesterday we arranged a literary salon where I read my poetry. But those are just some rare bits. I barely have any spare time and when I do, I feel too weak and amorphous to do anything. My main problem is the lack of motivation. As a child, I actually had a philosophy that made refuse the concept of friendship - I literally told myself that I didn't need friends. But at the same time I was much more active and open to new meetings. While now, when I'm so lonely and desperately need someone by my side, I keep retiring in my shell unconciously. It's like a vicious circle. I have no idea how to solve it.
At this point, I just want shitty high school to get over, so I can move to another city to study in university, change my life drastically,… more meet new people and renew myself. Maybe after these two years pass, I'll finally feel free and calm.
University (especially in another city) can blast your social life wide open if you let it. I just didn't know if you wanted to wait that long.
While you're still in high school, are there any clubs you might be interested in? When I was in high school, I was a member of an astronomy club, which included a trip to an observatory to look through their giant telescope. To pay for this trip, we had to sell candy, which also gave me an excuse to talk to other random students. I know others were in a theatre group, and other things that give you an excuse to socialize.
I told you, that getting someone to take that photo of you pretending to drink a bottle of vegetable oil would fix it, but did you try it? Nooo.....
(Actually, if you told them a creepy guy on the Internet asked for photos of you involving vegetable oil, they'd call the police on me, so maybe it's for the best that you don't.)
Well, if you don't do the vegetable oil thing, try to make a list of other crazy shake-up ideas. If you write it down, and look at it when you're feeling lonely, maybe that will stand a chance of motivating you.
I think you're in Russia, but not sure exactly where. How cold and dark is it about to get there?
Honestly, it's more about changing something. I feel like my life has stagnated, I've overgrown my surroundings and I really need to move on… more but obviously I can't. So leaving my hometown just feels like a start of a new life. It's my only dream and goal I live up to currently.
Joining a club would be nice... but studying sucks out all the powers from me. I do try to attend different events - for example, yesterday we arranged a literary salon where I read my poetry. But those are just some rare bits. I barely have any spare time and when I do, I feel too weak and amorphous to do anything. My main problem is the lack of motivation. As a child, I actually had a philosophy that made refuse the concept of friendship - I literally told myself that I didn't need friends. But at the same time I was much more active and open to new meetings. While now, when I'm so lonely and desperately need someone by my side, I keep retiring in my shell unconciously. It's like a vicious circle. I have no idea how to solve it.
I secretly want to be that person, who can come up to others and ask for silly things easily, hoping that it would make them amazed. But, eh, I'm 100% sure the best reaction I could get is "what the fuck is wrong with you". It isn't really that cool in reality.
I guess, in the end, it's all about getting out of my comfort zone. On the last concert I visited I jumped into the crowd from the stage. Gotta admit, it gave me a huge boost of confidence. Perhaps I'm not too far gone yet.
Not really cold and dark, but rather gloomy and messy. I'm looking forward to real winter, with both sunny and freezing days and giant piles of crystal white snow. I feel peaceful at this time of the year, like it gives me an excuse to stay home and do neat things.
I told you, that getting someone to take that photo of you pretending to drink a bottle of vegetable oil would fix it, but did you try it? … moreNooo.....
(Actually, if you told them a creepy guy on the Internet asked for photos of you involving vegetable oil, they'd call the police on me, so maybe it's for the best that you don't.)
Well, if you don't do the vegetable oil thing, try to make a list of other crazy shake-up ideas. If you write it down, and look at it when you're feeling lonely, maybe that will stand a chance of motivating you.
I think you're in Russia, but not sure exactly where. How cold and dark is it about to get there?
Was talking to a friend who told me he had a Halloween party during the weekend. Why the hell would anyone have a Halloween party when it isn't Halloween? I get that people are busy with work/school during the week but what's the point then? It's like opening Christmas presents a few days before the 25th. It's a costume party at that stage, not a Halloween one. I'm aware this is likely a very unpopular opinion but it's annoying to me.
Was talking to a friend who told me he had a Halloween party during the weekend. Why the hell would anyone have a Halloween party when it is… moren't Halloween? I get that people are busy with work/school during the week but what's the point then? It's like opening Christmas presents a few days before the 25th. It's a costume party at that stage, not a Halloween one. I'm aware this is likely a very unpopular opinion but it's annoying to me.
Was talking to a friend who told me he had a Halloween party during the weekend. Why the hell would anyone have a Halloween party when it is… moren't Halloween? I get that people are busy with work/school during the week but what's the point then? It's like opening Christmas presents a few days before the 25th. It's a costume party at that stage, not a Halloween one. I'm aware this is likely a very unpopular opinion but it's annoying to me.
My point though is that it's not a Halloween party at that stage, it's a costume party.
It's like opening Christmas presents a few days before the 25th
If you're not going to follow the tradition of Halloween on the 31st then what's the point? Why celebrate Easter sunday when you can celebrate it on the friday before? Defeats the purpose of the holiday.
It’s probably the best thing to do in that situation. I’m not much of a guy for money, I like my fun so if I had a job with low pay but it was fun I’d be happy, but having to work on Christmas is a no go
Hey, I know this is old but whatever.
I appreciate that you even bothered to reply, even though... I didn't find your advice all that useful but it's the thought that counts, right? I'm being honest, not mean.
I'm actually not THAT super bad at talking with people, I just take a while to warm up to them, I can just be too hard on myself sometimes.
I gotta stop focusing on such minuscule problems and look at the bigger picture...
Try the compliment + question technique. "Wow, that's an interesting Halloween necklace you have there! Who would have thought to put bat wings on a skull like that?"
Hey, I know this is old but whatever.
I appreciate that you even bothered to reply, even though... I didn't find your advice all that usefu… morel but it's the thought that counts, right? I'm being honest, not mean.
I'm actually not THAT super bad at talking with people, I just take a while to warm up to them, I can just be too hard on myself sometimes.
I gotta stop focusing on such minuscule problems and look at the bigger picture...
I feel like that I just really suck at communicating and interacting with people.
I'm just... sooo shy, quiet and awkward.
It just makes me want to avoid people, which is what I had been doing pretty much my entire adolescence, which hasn't helped...
Are you happy living like this? If so, nothing needs to be fixed. Some people are comfortable keeping to themselves their entire lives, and computers make that easier than ever. When robots become available cheaply, that'll be another step in not ever really needing to talk to anyone.
If you're not happy with the status quo, then it's something you should work on. It doesn't have to be with any of my advice, which you pointed out isn't very helpful to you. I don't really know you or see how you actually behave in real life, so that's why I wrote that it's hard to help remotely. I can only say that if you're willing to take the risk and start a conversation, that it might turn out better than you think.
I don't usually comment here but there's something I'm really angry and upset about. Just so you know, I may or may not edit out this comment later on.
I can't stand the way my family treats me. I've considered talking about this so many times but I kept changing my mind. I'm not being abused or anything but they never take anything that upsets me seriously. The main thing is that I can't stand that it feels like they hate me. So many things I do seems to just annoy everyone. I try to stay positive, keep everything lighthearted, make stupid jokes, quote my favorite characters, bla bla bla. But everyone seems to so easily get mad at me and that in turn makes me mad. Another thing is that when somebody says something hurtful and makes me mad, I say something back and then everyone acts like I'm the one being a scumbag. Not to mention that when I get upset about something I'm basically told "you're too sensitive, get over it, be a man etc..." and it makes me feel like nobody can take me seriously. I'm literally crying now because it feels like I have to go to the internet to find someone who gives a shit. I feel like I can't talk about my problems anywhere else. And something that really irks me is that I'm incapable of holding a grudge. I have thoughts like "Fuck it, I'm done. I'm not talking to them anymore, they aren't worth trying to be close to." but the next day it's like I'm not angry anymore! On the bright side I don't stay upset for long but then I just repeat the same shit over on over. It hurts to love your family and feel like they hate you at the same time. To clarify, I'm okay. I'm not depressed or having suicidal thoughts or anything, but every now and then this shit really gets to me.
EDIT: Just a heads up that I've calmed down since I posted this.
EDIT 2: Okay guys, I'm okay now seriously. No need for anymore replies, but I do appreciate you taking the time to help out.
Happy Thanksgiving. That is if you're in the U.S. This is the time of year when family gets together in a nice rosy dinner setting with absolutely none of the family members having problems with any of the others. Ha ha.
Anyway, you can't always fix your family, but know that you will be able to escape some day, and you can associate with the people you choose.
By the way, not holding a grudge is a good thing, not a weakness. Grudges hurt all sides far more than they help.
I don't usually comment here but there's something I'm really angry and upset about. Just so you know, I may or may not edit out this commen… moret later on.
I can't stand the way my family treats me. I've considered talking about this so many times but I kept changing my mind. I'm not being abused or anything but they never take anything that upsets me seriously. The main thing is that I can't stand that it feels like they hate me. So many things I do seems to just annoy everyone. I try to stay positive, keep everything lighthearted, make stupid jokes, quote my favorite characters, bla bla bla. But everyone seems to so easily get mad at me and that in turn makes me mad. Another thing is that when somebody says something hurtful and makes me mad, I say something back and then everyone acts like I'm the one being a scumbag. Not to mention that when I get upset about something I'm basically told "you're too sensitive, get over it, be a man etc..."… [view original content]
i know how thos feels my family are the same my dad especially is super strict ex military and limits my internet usage 5 hours on days im not working and 0 hours on days i am working i am using my phone to comment on here if i complain and say something about it i get well if you dont like it move out which is something i am trying to do and saving up as much as i can he also seems to not like my love of anime or me wanting to go to japan my mom also says its a stupid idea to go to japan and thinks anime is basically porn my sister dosnt seem to get involved mostly with anything but she seems to be the family favorite probably because i suffer from aspergers syndrome and she dosnt the only thing does to annoy me is brag she has a boyfriend and i dont have a girlfriend even though ive wanted a girlfriend for ages last one cheated on me and dumped me
but dont feel that you are alone or worry about going on the internet to find someone who cares i know how things feel and i know its hard going day by day but remember you will always have friends here who will understand
I don't usually comment here but there's something I'm really angry and upset about. Just so you know, I may or may not edit out this commen… moret later on.
I can't stand the way my family treats me. I've considered talking about this so many times but I kept changing my mind. I'm not being abused or anything but they never take anything that upsets me seriously. The main thing is that I can't stand that it feels like they hate me. So many things I do seems to just annoy everyone. I try to stay positive, keep everything lighthearted, make stupid jokes, quote my favorite characters, bla bla bla. But everyone seems to so easily get mad at me and that in turn makes me mad. Another thing is that when somebody says something hurtful and makes me mad, I say something back and then everyone acts like I'm the one being a scumbag. Not to mention that when I get upset about something I'm basically told "you're too sensitive, get over it, be a man etc..."… [view original content]
You say that you're not being abused, but it sounds emotionally abusive to me.
when I get upset about something I'm basically told "you're too sensitive, get over it, be a man etc..."
That is denying and ridiculing your feelings, which is abusive. This can then lead to 'bottling up' your emotions instead of acknowledging them and instead can come out as other problems like depression, anxiety etc.
I commend your courage for writing this. It's okay to feel the way that you feel.
I appreciate that your comment may disappear at some point, and I can delete mine too if you want, just ask.
I don't usually comment here but there's something I'm really angry and upset about. Just so you know, I may or may not edit out this commen… moret later on.
I can't stand the way my family treats me. I've considered talking about this so many times but I kept changing my mind. I'm not being abused or anything but they never take anything that upsets me seriously. The main thing is that I can't stand that it feels like they hate me. So many things I do seems to just annoy everyone. I try to stay positive, keep everything lighthearted, make stupid jokes, quote my favorite characters, bla bla bla. But everyone seems to so easily get mad at me and that in turn makes me mad. Another thing is that when somebody says something hurtful and makes me mad, I say something back and then everyone acts like I'm the one being a scumbag. Not to mention that when I get upset about something I'm basically told "you're too sensitive, get over it, be a man etc..."… [view original content]
I'm sorry you're going through this. just know that you're not alone.
"you're too sensitive, get over it, be a man etc..."
That's really messed up, and also a sign of mental abuse. If people say that to you (even your family), tell them that you hate when they say those things to you and you wish they would stop. If they don't, they're knowingly disrespecting you and don't deserve your time or attention.
I don't usually comment here but there's something I'm really angry and upset about. Just so you know, I may or may not edit out this commen… moret later on.
I can't stand the way my family treats me. I've considered talking about this so many times but I kept changing my mind. I'm not being abused or anything but they never take anything that upsets me seriously. The main thing is that I can't stand that it feels like they hate me. So many things I do seems to just annoy everyone. I try to stay positive, keep everything lighthearted, make stupid jokes, quote my favorite characters, bla bla bla. But everyone seems to so easily get mad at me and that in turn makes me mad. Another thing is that when somebody says something hurtful and makes me mad, I say something back and then everyone acts like I'm the one being a scumbag. Not to mention that when I get upset about something I'm basically told "you're too sensitive, get over it, be a man etc..."… [view original content]
I agree with the comments above mine. Having been abused myself what you wrote is emotional and mental abuse.. it's not always just physical. I had no idea either, that's how it works when they keep diminishing you, you doubt yourself and start believing their words when you hear them over and over again that you're just weak and too sensitive.
I'm now in my twenties and I just recently realised myself how bad it had actually been. Everyone should be able to exist and express themselves, when they constantly put you down like this it can cause longterm problems. Did to me.. And that you 'calm down' quickly is also a sign. That used to happen to me too, not being able to hold on to your own thoughts and how you feel. It's not really just 'calming down', what happens is your perspective switches. I used to feel like there were two versions of my family, the good normal one, and the bad one. And the change would happen always suddenly and then they keep telling you you're the problem.
Which is not true. I think it's great you wrote about this here and haven't yet deleted it. I hope you believe us since I'm not the only one telling you this..
I don't usually comment here but there's something I'm really angry and upset about. Just so you know, I may or may not edit out this commen… moret later on.
I can't stand the way my family treats me. I've considered talking about this so many times but I kept changing my mind. I'm not being abused or anything but they never take anything that upsets me seriously. The main thing is that I can't stand that it feels like they hate me. So many things I do seems to just annoy everyone. I try to stay positive, keep everything lighthearted, make stupid jokes, quote my favorite characters, bla bla bla. But everyone seems to so easily get mad at me and that in turn makes me mad. Another thing is that when somebody says something hurtful and makes me mad, I say something back and then everyone acts like I'm the one being a scumbag. Not to mention that when I get upset about something I'm basically told "you're too sensitive, get over it, be a man etc..."… [view original content]
It's not like I switched perspectives or anything. I still believe I was in the right. But to clarify, it wasn't quite as one sided as I made it out to be. I said some things I shouldn't have. But I do believe I had a right to be upset, it's just hard for me to stay angry.
One more thing though. I really hope I don't appear ungrateful for saying this or even in denial, but these comments about mental abuse... I can't say I agree and they're making me a little uncomfortable. I somewhat exagerrated as well. I was told "You're too sensitive" but it wasn't in a shutting me down kind of way. They were trying to calm me down. But to be clear, I do believe I was in the right. I had a right to be upset, but please don't try to comfort me by saying I'm being mentally abused. I do appreciate the concern though. This all just clarification though, I don't want to have a debate about whether or not I'm a victim of abuse.
I agree with the comments above mine. Having been abused myself what you wrote is emotional and mental abuse.. it's not always just physical… more. I had no idea either, that's how it works when they keep diminishing you, you doubt yourself and start believing their words when you hear them over and over again that you're just weak and too sensitive.
I'm now in my twenties and I just recently realised myself how bad it had actually been. Everyone should be able to exist and express themselves, when they constantly put you down like this it can cause longterm problems. Did to me.. And that you 'calm down' quickly is also a sign. That used to happen to me too, not being able to hold on to your own thoughts and how you feel. It's not really just 'calming down', what happens is your perspective switches. I used to feel like there were two versions of my family, the good normal one, and the bad one. And the change would happen always suddenly and the… [view original content]
I don't know if you're in denial or what. You don't want to seem like you are.. You say you know you were right but at the same time you try to downplay it. You're basically saying the same thing as before. It's not like it was unclear you said some bad things too, they just wouldn't listen. Sometimes people are not even ready to accept things as they are.. but you don't want to talk about this, it's fine. Don't mean to argue.. that was just the same thing I used to say. Nobody meant any harm.
It's not like I switched perspectives or anything. I still believe I was in the right. But to clarify, it wasn't quite as one sided as I mad… moree it out to be. I said some things I shouldn't have. But I do believe I had a right to be upset, it's just hard for me to stay angry.
One more thing though. I really hope I don't appear ungrateful for saying this or even in denial, but these comments about mental abuse... I can't say I agree and they're making me a little uncomfortable. I somewhat exagerrated as well. I was told "You're too sensitive" but it wasn't in a shutting me down kind of way. They were trying to calm me down. But to be clear, I do believe I was in the right. I had a right to be upset, but please don't try to comfort me by saying I'm being mentally abused. I do appreciate the concern though. This all just clarification though, I don't want to have a debate about whether or not I'm a victim of abuse.
Not rlly a vent since I'm kinda happy but ah well.
So in June my mom suffered a stroke which left her unable to speak. She's been in rehab for 5 months now and she's finally starting to get her speech back but it's still somewhat choppy and disoriented. Not that I'm complaining, any speech is better than none.
Today she came home for a weekend long visit and so far it's been pretty good. The brain injury center is an hour and a half away from where I live so I don't get to see her as often as I'd like to. She is such a strong woman I can't even believe it. With her stroke, her kidneys failing, dialysis four times a week, and gallstones.. holy shit.
Guys. If you have an awesome mother, give her the biggest damn hug ever. You never know when this world will take her.
So, I know this post is a little old now, and you may or may not care about this anymore. But I just wanted to say something, because everyone else was saying your were being mentally abused, and it doesn't sound that way to me. It seems like to me there's always one parson in a family who's feelings, the rest of the family just doesn't understand. I don't know your situation exactly, so the only advise I would give, would be to try to avoid the things that lead to the problems you have with your family in the first place, so maybe it won't happen again. I do know what it feels like when no one takes your feelings seriously. It can be very upsetting and frustrating. I hope things are getting better for you.
It's not like I switched perspectives or anything. I still believe I was in the right. But to clarify, it wasn't quite as one sided as I mad… moree it out to be. I said some things I shouldn't have. But I do believe I had a right to be upset, it's just hard for me to stay angry.
One more thing though. I really hope I don't appear ungrateful for saying this or even in denial, but these comments about mental abuse... I can't say I agree and they're making me a little uncomfortable. I somewhat exagerrated as well. I was told "You're too sensitive" but it wasn't in a shutting me down kind of way. They were trying to calm me down. But to be clear, I do believe I was in the right. I had a right to be upset, but please don't try to comfort me by saying I'm being mentally abused. I do appreciate the concern though. This all just clarification though, I don't want to have a debate about whether or not I'm a victim of abuse.
So, I know this post is a little old now, and you may or may not care about this anymore. But I just wanted to say something, because everyo… morene else was saying your were being mentally abused, and it doesn't sound that way to me. It seems like to me there's always one parson in a family who's feelings, the rest of the family just doesn't understand. I don't know your situation exactly, so the only advise I would give, would be to try to avoid the things that lead to the problems you have with your family in the first place, so maybe it won't happen again. I do know what it feels like when no one takes your feelings seriously. It can be very upsetting and frustrating. I hope things are getting better for you.
Okay, fuck it. I'm just gonna come out and say it.
I have serious self-confidence issues and don't know how to overcome it.
I always feel like I'm being a dick even when I'm not meaning to. I'm terrible at talking to people, I always don't make enough eye contact, make too much eye contact (One person even thought I was trying to 'intimidate' them), don't speak loud enough, speak too loud, stutter or accidentally cut people off when they're talking.
I repeat moments and conversations over and over again in my head and cant help but beat myself up over the stupid things or mistakes I've made. To put it simply: Ah Hate ma'salf and think 'am the most awwfal person awn tha planet!
I have no friends, when I'm in public I always just keep to myself and do my own thing and I hate it. But the thing is I cant just go up to someone and talk to them, because of my self-confidence issues. This is literally how my though goes when I think about talking to someone:
"Hmm, should I say hello? Maybe not. I mean, who seriously wants to talk to me. They'll probably think "Eugh, why's he here?" or "I really don't want him here, but I'm not going to tell him to go away 'cuz 'dats just ruuuuuude" Yeah, maybe I won't talk to them. That's the safest way to go. Won't inconvenience anyone that way!"
I never fit in with anyone. As in, most people always talk and joke about drugs or sex and I just find that immature. I'm probably the most boring person on the planet, who would want to talk to me?
Yesterday, someone did just walk up to me and talked to me (Probably only because they felt bad that I was on my own). I wish I could do that. So, I hung around them for a bit, then they started hanging around other groups and so I just went back to myself. Big groups aren't my thing, and I just think "They probably don't even want me around, I'll just save them the trouble of trying to tell me without telling me."
We regularly go to the same place, and next time I saw them I thought about saying "Hey, mind if I join you for lunch?" but ended up not. They ended up joining me anyway when I was having lunch, and the whole time I was trying to think of something to say, an interesting conversation to start but I thought of nothing. And so they probably just thought I was ignoring them and wanted to be alone. See, I always think about moments like this and cant help but to get angry at myself over what I did say and what I didn't say, and think of what I should say next time. But when next time comes, I dont say it or cant remember it.
Soon, they all left except for one person, and only then I was able to talk. And then I thought she was finished her sentence and so I was about to say something, I opened my mouth to do so, and then I realized that she was still talking. and so she probably thought I was trying to shut her up by trying to talk over her.
Okay, I don't even know why I'm writing all of this. Just Venting I guess. I don't expect anyone to give me a cure-all answer to this. I've already tried searching up ways of helping with it but it doesn't work. I guess I just need to "Venture outside mah comfort zoooonnneeee" But every time I try, my thought process kicks in...
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We have a thread here somewhere for posting stupid selfies. I'm sure that solves all of your problems.
No, seriously. A few days ago at the discount store around here, I saw a couple of teenage girls, and one was taking a picture of the other, who was pretending to down an entire bottle of vegetable oil. I'm not sure what the point of that was (kids these days, sheesh), but they seemed to be having fun doing it.
So that's what you need to do. Find a friend willing to take a picture of you pretending to drink an entire bottle of vegetable oil. Then post it here if you dare. You will be amazed at what this does for you.
This is something that I'm a bit anxious about sharing but I can't count on anyone in my life and I don't have anywhere to turn to. Since about January last year, I've had suicidal thoughts and I've felt angry, stressed, tired and just miserable. I don't want to say I have depression because there's no real problem in my life. My family isn't poor or anything and I have a fairly decent life, but when I'm at school and a lot of times when I'm at home I just feel miserable. I feel like there's no reward worth all the stress and work in life and I never feel like I'm just not capable of meeting the standards that people expect from me. Half the time at school I don't feel motivated to do the work. I feel like my friends don't actually like me and they're holding it against me because I get angry because I'm spending all my time being told what to do by teachers for no reason other than people say life will get better. I feel like I don't have time for all the work I get from school and the things that matter to me in life, and because of it I end up getting angry in class and I think my friends hold it against me because I can't stop myself from getting stressed. Its gotten to the point where I can't go to my friends for support and I just can't trust my parents or people at school because it makes me feel weak that I can't get through life without help. I know that if I tried hard enough I could get through school with decent grades and get a decent job but I feel like there's no reward in life for all that work. I don know what to do at this point because I can tell my friends at school are sick of me and I get so anxious talking to people that Ive been putting off getting a job. I wish I could change and be a better person but I don't think I have the motivation to do it and I don't know what to do at this point. I'm posting here because people here have always been fairly supportive when I've talked about being stressed and I think I should be honest with you guys about how I'm feeling. Thank you for reading this and I apologise for the long rant. I didn't know where else to post this.
Is there such a thing as a quarter-life crisis? Because I think I'm in the middle of one.
I know you're in Australia - do you have time off for summer coming up? I'm not sure how it works down there.
It's possible to have depression and anxiety without having some cause in your life to point at. If you think that might be happening to you, as opposed to some short-term burnout from too much overwhelming stuff, it may be time to speak to a doctor about it. That doesn't make you weak. That means you're doing something to fix your life. Weak people don't do that.
I know that finding a friend would probably solve most of my problems but I don't know how to do it. I just can't initiate a relationship. I leave a good impression on people but for some reason nobody wants to get to know me better and it's really frustrating.
For a few years I had sinsrhung like an illusion of friendship - hanged with three of my classmates. But this year one of them left school abd doesn't wish to keep in touch with me anymore, other two became typical high school besties that won't let anyone even come close to them. So I'm left with nothing again. I guess when I felt out of place all this time I was true.
Life proves that you can't just find friends - they happen accidentally. You never know when you'll meet someone.. but sitting idle and waiting isn't an option too. At this point, I just want shitty high school to get over, so I can move to another city to study in university, change my life drastically, meet new people and renew myself. Maybe after these two years pass, I'll finally feel free and calm.
Ehhhhh I just need to rant because if I don’t, I’m going to be in an awful mood today.
I am like so freaking stressed that it’s unbelievable. I have so much to do and not nearly enough time, it is driving me insane. I finished an entire semesters worth of work in two weeks and now I have another semester to do and I have to write an entire script for work tonight but I already chose against that and like I’m so frustrated?
Ugh, I’m so tired. I hate always working, it drives me mad. I say I like it because wow, positivity! But I’m so ready for a nap. Eh, whatever, it’s all good! It’ll be over soon enough!
University (especially in another city) can blast your social life wide open if you let it. I just didn't know if you wanted to wait that long.
While you're still in high school, are there any clubs you might be interested in? When I was in high school, I was a member of an astronomy club, which included a trip to an observatory to look through their giant telescope. To pay for this trip, we had to sell candy, which also gave me an excuse to talk to other random students. I know others were in a theatre group, and other things that give you an excuse to socialize.
so i get called in to do nightshift when i was up all night and now have to wait until tomorrow until i can get more internet time and i have a miniscule bit of this shit phone data left i will be so happy when i get my mortgage
Honestly, it's more about changing something. I feel like my life has stagnated, I've overgrown my surroundings and I really need to move on but obviously I can't. So leaving my hometown just feels like a start of a new life. It's my only dream and goal I live up to currently.
Joining a club would be nice... but studying sucks out all the powers from me. I do try to attend different events - for example, yesterday we arranged a literary salon where I read my poetry. But those are just some rare bits. I barely have any spare time and when I do, I feel too weak and amorphous to do anything. My main problem is the lack of motivation. As a child, I actually had a philosophy that made refuse the concept of friendship - I literally told myself that I didn't need friends. But at the same time I was much more active and open to new meetings. While now, when I'm so lonely and desperately need someone by my side, I keep retiring in my shell unconciously. It's like a vicious circle. I have no idea how to solve it.
I told you, that getting someone to take that photo of you pretending to drink a bottle of vegetable oil would fix it, but did you try it? Nooo.....
(Actually, if you told them a creepy guy on the Internet asked for photos of you involving vegetable oil, they'd call the police on me, so maybe it's for the best that you don't.)
Well, if you don't do the vegetable oil thing, try to make a list of other crazy shake-up ideas. If you write it down, and look at it when you're feeling lonely, maybe that will stand a chance of motivating you.
I think you're in Russia, but not sure exactly where. How cold and dark is it about to get there?
I secretly want to be that person, who can come up to others and ask for silly things easily, hoping that it would make them amazed. But, eh, I'm 100% sure the best reaction I could get is "what the fuck is wrong with you". It isn't really that cool in reality.
I guess, in the end, it's all about getting out of my comfort zone. On the last concert I visited I jumped into the crowd from the stage. Gotta admit, it gave me a huge boost of confidence. Perhaps I'm not too far gone yet.
Not really cold and dark, but rather gloomy and messy. I'm looking forward to real winter, with both sunny and freezing days and giant piles of crystal white snow. I feel peaceful at this time of the year, like it gives me an excuse to stay home and do neat things.
Was talking to a friend who told me he had a Halloween party during the weekend. Why the hell would anyone have a Halloween party when it isn't Halloween? I get that people are busy with work/school during the week but what's the point then? It's like opening Christmas presents a few days before the 25th. It's a costume party at that stage, not a Halloween one. I'm aware this is likely a very unpopular opinion but it's annoying to me.
Soooooo you need to vent?
Well this is the vent thread right? It doesn't really matter, it's a silly first world problem that just niggled me.
You answered your own question. People are busy with work/school during the week. Who wants to party and then wake up for work/school the other day?
My point though is that it's not a Halloween party at that stage, it's a costume party.
If you're not going to follow the tradition of Halloween on the 31st then what's the point? Why celebrate Easter sunday when you can celebrate it on the friday before? Defeats the purpose of the holiday.
I am quite anxious about the christmas schedules that we should get soon i just have a feeling i may have to work christmas day lateshift
Get a new job?
Am planning to because having to work christmas day is bs
It’s probably the best thing to do in that situation. I’m not much of a guy for money, I like my fun so if I had a job with low pay but it was fun I’d be happy, but having to work on Christmas is a no go
Sounds like your boss is a real Scrooge.
Hey, I know this is old but whatever.
I appreciate that you even bothered to reply, even though... I didn't find your advice all that useful but it's the thought that counts, right? I'm being honest, not mean.
I'm actually not THAT super bad at talking with people, I just take a while to warm up to them, I can just be too hard on myself sometimes.
I gotta stop focusing on such minuscule problems and look at the bigger picture...
It's hard to fix shyness remotely.
I wasn't expecting anyone to fix anything.
...Actually, what do you even mean by that, anyway?
Fair enough. Let's go back to your first post.
Are you happy living like this? If so, nothing needs to be fixed. Some people are comfortable keeping to themselves their entire lives, and computers make that easier than ever. When robots become available cheaply, that'll be another step in not ever really needing to talk to anyone.
If you're not happy with the status quo, then it's something you should work on. It doesn't have to be with any of my advice, which you pointed out isn't very helpful to you. I don't really know you or see how you actually behave in real life, so that's why I wrote that it's hard to help remotely. I can only say that if you're willing to take the risk and start a conversation, that it might turn out better than you think.
Yep i agree
I don't usually comment here but there's something I'm really angry and upset about. Just so you know, I may or may not edit out this comment later on.
I can't stand the way my family treats me. I've considered talking about this so many times but I kept changing my mind. I'm not being abused or anything but they never take anything that upsets me seriously. The main thing is that I can't stand that it feels like they hate me. So many things I do seems to just annoy everyone. I try to stay positive, keep everything lighthearted, make stupid jokes, quote my favorite characters, bla bla bla. But everyone seems to so easily get mad at me and that in turn makes me mad. Another thing is that when somebody says something hurtful and makes me mad, I say something back and then everyone acts like I'm the one being a scumbag. Not to mention that when I get upset about something I'm basically told "you're too sensitive, get over it, be a man etc..." and it makes me feel like nobody can take me seriously. I'm literally crying now because it feels like I have to go to the internet to find someone who gives a shit. I feel like I can't talk about my problems anywhere else. And something that really irks me is that I'm incapable of holding a grudge. I have thoughts like "Fuck it, I'm done. I'm not talking to them anymore, they aren't worth trying to be close to." but the next day it's like I'm not angry anymore! On the bright side I don't stay upset for long but then I just repeat the same shit over on over. It hurts to love your family and feel like they hate you at the same time. To clarify, I'm okay. I'm not depressed or having suicidal thoughts or anything, but every now and then this shit really gets to me.
EDIT: Just a heads up that I've calmed down since I posted this.
EDIT 2: Okay guys, I'm okay now seriously. No need for anymore replies, but I do appreciate you taking the time to help out.
Happy Thanksgiving. That is if you're in the U.S. This is the time of year when family gets together in a nice rosy dinner setting with absolutely none of the family members having problems with any of the others. Ha ha.
Anyway, you can't always fix your family, but know that you will be able to escape some day, and you can associate with the people you choose.
By the way, not holding a grudge is a good thing, not a weakness. Grudges hurt all sides far more than they help.
i know how thos feels my family are the same my dad especially is super strict ex military and limits my internet usage 5 hours on days im not working and 0 hours on days i am working i am using my phone to comment on here if i complain and say something about it i get well if you dont like it move out which is something i am trying to do and saving up as much as i can he also seems to not like my love of anime or me wanting to go to japan my mom also says its a stupid idea to go to japan and thinks anime is basically porn my sister dosnt seem to get involved mostly with anything but she seems to be the family favorite probably because i suffer from aspergers syndrome and she dosnt the only thing does to annoy me is brag she has a boyfriend and i dont have a girlfriend even though ive wanted a girlfriend for ages last one cheated on me and dumped me
but dont feel that you are alone or worry about going on the internet to find someone who cares i know how things feel and i know its hard going day by day but remember you will always have friends here who will understand
You say that you're not being abused, but it sounds emotionally abusive to me.
That is denying and ridiculing your feelings, which is abusive. This can then lead to 'bottling up' your emotions instead of acknowledging them and instead can come out as other problems like depression, anxiety etc.
I commend your courage for writing this. It's okay to feel the way that you feel.
I appreciate that your comment may disappear at some point, and I can delete mine too if you want, just ask.
I'm sorry you're going through this. just know that you're not alone.
That's really messed up, and also a sign of mental abuse. If people say that to you (even your family), tell them that you hate when they say those things to you and you wish they would stop. If they don't, they're knowingly disrespecting you and don't deserve your time or attention.
I agree with the comments above mine. Having been abused myself what you wrote is emotional and mental abuse.. it's not always just physical. I had no idea either, that's how it works when they keep diminishing you, you doubt yourself and start believing their words when you hear them over and over again that you're just weak and too sensitive.
I'm now in my twenties and I just recently realised myself how bad it had actually been. Everyone should be able to exist and express themselves, when they constantly put you down like this it can cause longterm problems. Did to me.. And that you 'calm down' quickly is also a sign. That used to happen to me too, not being able to hold on to your own thoughts and how you feel. It's not really just 'calming down', what happens is your perspective switches. I used to feel like there were two versions of my family, the good normal one, and the bad one. And the change would happen always suddenly and then they keep telling you you're the problem.
Which is not true. I think it's great you wrote about this here and haven't yet deleted it. I hope you believe us since I'm not the only one telling you this..
It's not like I switched perspectives or anything. I still believe I was in the right. But to clarify, it wasn't quite as one sided as I made it out to be. I said some things I shouldn't have. But I do believe I had a right to be upset, it's just hard for me to stay angry.
One more thing though. I really hope I don't appear ungrateful for saying this or even in denial, but these comments about mental abuse... I can't say I agree and they're making me a little uncomfortable. I somewhat exagerrated as well. I was told "You're too sensitive" but it wasn't in a shutting me down kind of way. They were trying to calm me down. But to be clear, I do believe I was in the right. I had a right to be upset, but please don't try to comfort me by saying I'm being mentally abused. I do appreciate the concern though. This all just clarification though, I don't want to have a debate about whether or not I'm a victim of abuse.
I don't know if you're in denial or what. You don't want to seem like you are.. You say you know you were right but at the same time you try to downplay it. You're basically saying the same thing as before. It's not like it was unclear you said some bad things too, they just wouldn't listen. Sometimes people are not even ready to accept things as they are.. but you don't want to talk about this, it's fine. Don't mean to argue.. that was just the same thing I used to say. Nobody meant any harm.
Not rlly a vent since I'm kinda happy but ah well.
So in June my mom suffered a stroke which left her unable to speak. She's been in rehab for 5 months now and she's finally starting to get her speech back but it's still somewhat choppy and disoriented. Not that I'm complaining, any speech is better than none.
Today she came home for a weekend long visit and so far it's been pretty good. The brain injury center is an hour and a half away from where I live so I don't get to see her as often as I'd like to. She is such a strong woman I can't even believe it. With her stroke, her kidneys failing, dialysis four times a week, and gallstones.. holy shit.
Guys. If you have an awesome mother, give her the biggest damn hug ever. You never know when this world will take her.
Me too! and trust me I do every single day. She gets a little tired of me coddling her haha
So, I know this post is a little old now, and you may or may not care about this anymore. But I just wanted to say something, because everyone else was saying your were being mentally abused, and it doesn't sound that way to me. It seems like to me there's always one parson in a family who's feelings, the rest of the family just doesn't understand. I don't know your situation exactly, so the only advise I would give, would be to try to avoid the things that lead to the problems you have with your family in the first place, so maybe it won't happen again. I do know what it feels like when no one takes your feelings seriously. It can be very upsetting and frustrating. I hope things are getting better for you.
Appreciate the concern but I'm okay now.
Because I want to shout and scream but choose not to, I'll just go with a more obscure way of communicating my feelings.
Wubba Lubba Dub Dub.
Please...
Okay, fuck it. I'm just gonna come out and say it.
I have serious self-confidence issues and don't know how to overcome it.
I always feel like I'm being a dick even when I'm not meaning to. I'm terrible at talking to people, I always don't make enough eye contact, make too much eye contact (One person even thought I was trying to 'intimidate' them), don't speak loud enough, speak too loud, stutter or accidentally cut people off when they're talking.
I repeat moments and conversations over and over again in my head and cant help but beat myself up over the stupid things or mistakes I've made. To put it simply: Ah Hate ma'salf and think 'am the most awwfal person awn tha planet!
I have no friends, when I'm in public I always just keep to myself and do my own thing and I hate it. But the thing is I cant just go up to someone and talk to them, because of my self-confidence issues. This is literally how my though goes when I think about talking to someone:
"Hmm, should I say hello? Maybe not. I mean, who seriously wants to talk to me. They'll probably think "Eugh, why's he here?" or "I really don't want him here, but I'm not going to tell him to go away 'cuz 'dats just ruuuuuude" Yeah, maybe I won't talk to them. That's the safest way to go. Won't inconvenience anyone that way!"
I never fit in with anyone. As in, most people always talk and joke about drugs or sex and I just find that immature. I'm probably the most boring person on the planet, who would want to talk to me?
Yesterday, someone did just walk up to me and talked to me (Probably only because they felt bad that I was on my own). I wish I could do that. So, I hung around them for a bit, then they started hanging around other groups and so I just went back to myself. Big groups aren't my thing, and I just think "They probably don't even want me around, I'll just save them the trouble of trying to tell me without telling me."
We regularly go to the same place, and next time I saw them I thought about saying "Hey, mind if I join you for lunch?" but ended up not. They ended up joining me anyway when I was having lunch, and the whole time I was trying to think of something to say, an interesting conversation to start but I thought of nothing. And so they probably just thought I was ignoring them and wanted to be alone. See, I always think about moments like this and cant help but to get angry at myself over what I did say and what I didn't say, and think of what I should say next time. But when next time comes, I dont say it or cant remember it.
Soon, they all left except for one person, and only then I was able to talk. And then I thought she was finished her sentence and so I was about to say something, I opened my mouth to do so, and then I realized that she was still talking. and so she probably thought I was trying to shut her up by trying to talk over her.
Okay, I don't even know why I'm writing all of this. Just Venting I guess. I don't expect anyone to give me a cure-all answer to this. I've already tried searching up ways of helping with it but it doesn't work. I guess I just need to "Venture outside mah comfort zoooonnneeee" But every time I try, my thought process kicks in...