Imagine some giant muscular demonic, ghoulish, skeletoid spectral monstrosity of socialist, possibly Communist iron and metal death. Like every badass 80s villain possessed Satan and Death and Azathoth and Nyarlathotep themselves. Someone more of a bastard than Frollo and Griffith put together. Has an army of beings so foul and grotesque and badass that they drive men insane, and tear and feast on the flesh of his enemies, and even worse. Oh, and he rides a hellish steampunk motorcycle the size of a train, that can suck souls from weak-minded humans and torch everything in the surrounding area. Whenever he arrives, his aura causes animals to pack together and eat unwary humans, and every symbol of religion and the bourgeois crumbles instantly.
Imagine some giant muscular demonic, ghoulish, skeletoid spectral monstrosity of socialist, possibly Communist iron and metal death. Like every badass 80s villain possessed Satan and Death and Azathoth and Nyarlathotep themselves. Someone more of a bastard than Frollo and Griffith put together. Has an army of beings so foul and grotesque and badass that they drive men insane, and tear and feast on the flesh of his enemies, and even worse. Oh, and he rides a hellish steampunk motorcycle the size of a train, that can suck souls from weak-minded humans and torch everything in the surrounding area.
Hmmm...intriguing. I'll consider it.
My agent will call you with my decision. Yes, I totally have an agent now.
Imagine some giant muscular demonic, ghoulish, skeletoid spectral monstrosity of socialist, possibly Communist iron and metal death. Like every badass 80s villain possessed Satan and Death and Azathoth and Nyarlathotep themselves. Someone more of a bastard than Frollo and Griffith put together. Has an army of beings so foul and grotesque and badass that they drive men insane, and tear and feast on the flesh of his enemies, and even worse. Oh, and he rides a hellish steampunk motorcycle the size of a train, that can suck souls from weak-minded humans and torch everything in the surrounding area.
And now you have your final boss. The socialist hump better come equipped with an ushanka.
Oh, and every time he dies, he comes back as a version of himself even more horrible than before. His castle in his homeworld is made up of living flesh and blood. Oh, yeah, and he's a hermaphrodite with a horrible hump-being with an ushanka. And he carries a giant hammer and sickle made from gory bones. And is voiced by Tim Curry.
And he can piss acid from his giant....boner. Snicker. Okay, I might leave that part out...
How can we be sure that Alcoremortis isn't just Comrade Pants trollplaying as a girl? He has a history of this sort of thing, and I can't tell them apart by post content or avatar anymore.
How can we be sure that Alcoremortis isn't just Comrade Pants trollplaying as a girl? He has a history of this sort of thing, and I can't tell them apart by post content or avatar anymore.
I'd say "pics, preferably nude ones, or it's a lie" but then Comrade would save Mortis' skin by posting nude pictures of himself, and I'd have to lobotomize my own brain with a heated awl.
I'm talking to Pants on Skype, and I've only heard him type when he typed his own posts. Or rather, I should say, Alcoremortis has posted without my hearing Pants type.
I'm talking to Pants on Skype, and I've only heard him type when he typed his own posts. Or rather, I should say, Alcoremortis has posted without my hearing Pants type.
Maybe he types stealthily in order to preserve the illusion.
I think it's a forum rule that someone has to get confused about someone else's gender at least once a month.
But I was doing so well... when everybody was freaking out about Sailorcuteness/Coolsome, I knew. When various people have a revelation about Tope, I nod sagely. When whoever else people were confused about stopped being confused about their confusion, I was never confused... I think.
If I had a point at the beginning of this post, it's gone now, so I'll leave with this:
Comments
Go on.
You know, I'm not sure I want to be a part of this...
Nevermind. Totally worth it!
I think we should hold on a bit longer. There's gotta be some more badassery to be gleaned from this.
Granted. Go on, Fawful. We're waiting.
Hmmm...intriguing. I'll consider it.
My agent will call you with my decision. Yes, I totally have an agent now.
And now you have your final boss. The socialist hump better come equipped with an ushanka.
And he can piss acid from his giant....boner. Snicker. Okay, I might leave that part out...
Okay, you've got my vote.
That alone would make me want to purchase the game.
Yes, please. I want this badassery immortalized.
DO lT
I don't like Alcorepants. Is Commortis acceptable?
We've decided on Comrade Mortis. This is non negotiable.
In fact, you two should team up on everything you do just so you can use "Carapace Limed Motor Snorts".
EDIT: Also acceptable, nay, recommended, is "Acacia Modeler Mrs Porn Tots".
Carapace Limed Motor Snorts. Acceptable. This shall be our future company.
The other one, unacceptable.
I can verify we are not the same person.
Me too!
Can we get a third party? Pants has Dashing to confirm that he exists in real life, but we have no way of knowing you're a real person.
Waitaminute...
I had a perfect record at surmising gender here.
EDIT: Aaaand, for the first time ever, I noticed the sig, which kind of gives a hint. Oy...
I think it's a forum rule that someone has to get confused about someone else's gender at least once a month.
If it's a lady version of Comrade Pants, I think I'll pass on the lady attention.
Wait, what?
And I have Pants to confirm that I actually exist! So it's all good.
PANTS lS NOT A THIRD PARTY.
Maybe he types stealthily in order to preserve the illusion.
PROVE lT
Maybe.
No, he's actually the ninth party I've been to this week.
YOU'RE ONE OF THE PEOPLE WE'RE TALKlNG ABOUT, THUS NOT A THIRD PARTY.
Would a fourth party be acceptable?
You just admitted you only think he's one of them. Your veil of denial is slipping.
LlES
Have fun with that.
But I was doing so well... when everybody was freaking out about Sailorcuteness/Coolsome, I knew. When various people have a revelation about Tope, I nod sagely. When whoever else people were confused about stopped being confused about their confusion, I was never confused... I think.
If I had a point at the beginning of this post, it's gone now, so I'll leave with this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ffDPTKn7HiY