Goofus and Gallant

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Comments

  • edited April 2009
    Goofus blew up his neighborhood park just so his mom wouldn't tell him to go there.

    Gallant dislikes the sight of blood.
  • edited April 2009
    Goofus prefers it to be poured into a glass, iced.

    Gallant is "environment friendly".
  • edited April 2009
    goofus cuts down ten trees every earth day

    Gallant treats his mom nice
  • edited April 2009
    Goofus killed his mom, his dad, and Supernanny.

    Gallant has proper table manners.
  • edited April 2009
    Goofus dosent.

    Gallant dosent eat meat on friday
  • edited April 2009
    Goofus eats meat off of live animals every day.

    Gallant doesn't make innuendo.
  • edited April 2009
    Goofus is dating seven girls at the same time.

    Gallant helps clean the dishes.
  • edited April 2009
    Goofus never does them

    Gallant stops, drops, and rolls
  • edited April 2009
    Goofus lit the local Fire Station on fire, so to induce said stopping, dropping, and rolling.

    Gallant gives to the poor.
  • edited April 2009
    Goofus takes from the poor

    Gallant does something nice
  • edited April 2009
    Goofus does something bad, related to the nice act Gallant committed.

    Gallant listens to his music at a respectable volume, so as not to disturb his neighbors.
  • edited April 2009
    Goofus is now deaf.

    Gallant gets all A's in school.
  • edited April 2009
    Goofus failed Kindergarden 7 times

    Gallant steals items without being noticed.
  • edited April 2009
    Goofus exists.

    whoops

    goofus tells said store over the intercom that he is stealing

    gallant doesnt make random pictures out of dashes and dots when talking on the forum
  • edited April 2009
    Neither does Goofus. He makes them out of hyphens and dollar signs.

    Gallant speaks the English language properly.
  • edited April 2009
    gfz hnds n ll f hs kndrgrtn ssgnmnts wtht ny vwlz pncttn r grmmr crrctnss whtsvr n stff bt h dz hv smlys :)

    Reading what I just wrote makes me want to sob quietly. *proceeds to do so*

    Gallant uses good sportsmanship.
  • edited April 2009
    Goofus once shot a man because he attempted to steal second base.

    Gallant is healthy and active.
  • edited April 2009
    Goofus believes that the fatter you are, the more physically fit you are.

    Gallant's spit is sold in south America as a wonder drug.
  • Goofus's crap is sold all aroung the world as a AIDS cure.

    Gallant licks the tiniest of babies before kidnapping them.
  • edited April 2009
    Goofus devours the littlest babies before blaming the disappearance on a kidnapper.

    Galliant doesn't overdose on drugs.
  • edited April 2009
    Goofus overdoses other people on drugs.

    Gallant is a productive member of society and rakes in big bucks.
  • edited April 2009
    Goofus took a job as a crash test dummy, and uses the medium-in-weight bucks he rakes in to pay for his extensive injuries.

    Gallant blows his nose into a tissue.
  • edited April 2009
    Goofus shoots the tissue and it's whole family and blames it on the dog.

    Gallant dosen't get beat into the head with Marzipan's guitar.
  • Goofus beats the realm of space and time with marzipan's guitar

    Gallant yells only at his carpet.
  • edited April 2009
    This is starting to drift away from the original rules. Gallant does good stuff and Goofus does the bad version of what Gallant does.

    Gallant washes his dad's car, even when his dad doesn't ask him to.
  • edited April 2009
    Goofus cleans out his dad's car-with a sludgehammer.

    Gallant listens to Christian rock, rap, and the like.
  • edited April 2009
    Goofus' music style shows that he openly worships Satan.

    Gallant always says "please" and "thank you".
  • edited April 2009
    Goofus always says "GIMME!" and "EFF YOU!"

    Gallant is a Pacifist and decides to not join the Strong Badian army, but cheer it on.
  • edited April 2009
    Goofus IS the army!!

    Gallant is careful not to say anything that could offend anyone.
  • edited April 2009
    Goofus spends half of every day thinking of new ways to offend everyone.

    Gallant loves tofu.
  • edited April 2009
    Goofus once ate a live cow.

    Gallant cleans the fungus out of his toes daily.
  • edited April 2009
    Goofus Eats fungus from his toes daily

    Gallant has a party with permission from his parents
  • edited April 2009
    Goofus gets his parents' permission for parties, too... except he uses a shotgun.

    Gallant appreciates art, both modern and classic.
  • edited April 2009
    Goofus appreciates vandalism, both modern and classic. Especially when it's stained blood.

    Gallant looks both ways before he crosses the street.
  • edited April 2009
    Goofus runs over Gallant either way

    Gallant tries not to swear
  • edited April 2009
    Goofus harshly offends everyone he meets, using only his language.

    Gallant goes to sleep at a reasonable time every night.
  • edited April 2009
    Goofus goes to sleep at about lunchtime. He then stays up all night at raves.

    Gallant makes sure to tie his shoes.
  • edited April 2009
    Goofus sure wishes he could afford something as nice as shoooes...

    Gallant wears all the latest styles.
  • edited April 2009
    Goofus is still wearing a devo hat

    Gallant respects Goofus' decisions
  • edited April 2009
    Goofus yells at Gallant for deciding crap, like not urinating in his Kitten's water bowl.

    Gallant has pants on.

    EDIT: Wow. I was just looking at a Wikipedia article on The Amazing Transparent Man, the MST3K episode, and I just read the "Obscure References", and included is "Goofus pisses me off." Oh, the irony of timing.
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