Hello brethren. For some perspective, the mother of my child is basically a "Jane".... selfish, manipulative, deluded...
I'm a lot like Kenny so you can imagine my frustration in splitting up from her and dealing with custody
If you have been insulted every time, it is time to consider the posibility that the common factor is what is igniting the insults—you.
This does not mean that you are undeniably the reason, since I could not say that given that we have barely interacted; but you have got to analyze what is happening with an impartial view, dropping any impulse to justify yourself. Going by the information you've given, that is the only potential way to prevent receiving more insults during discussions.
Man, so many times have I gotten into debates in real life and online, and I have been insulted every time. Can't just once someone have a debate without insulting someone? It's starting to irritate me. Especially when it happens in real life.
I'm very sorry to hear that brother. May the stache be with you in your time of need.
Seriously I do hope things get better for you, man. Your position is one I do not envy. Stay strong!
Hello brethren. For some perspective, the mother of my child is basically a "Jane".... selfish, manipulative, deluded...
I'm a lot like Kenny so you can imagine my frustration in splitting up from her and dealing with custody
Thanks brotha. I just have to make the best of it and focus on improving myself, I suppose. I'll try not to brood too much and to stay positive.
Kenny would take a situation like this in stride, right? Haha
Does it piss anyone else off when you're trying to get someone's attention and they pretend to not notice you? Or when they're talking to someone else and you are trying to say something in between and they won't even bother acknowledging you? This is extremely annoying, especially when a friend does this.
My eyes are getting worse and I'm actually going to end up going blind in the future.
Or maybe just someone or some people to talk too...
Starting last December, I started to feel off. I was really upset about everything, I couldn't really smile or get happy about things anymore. I thought maybe it was related to stress from school. But, starting in Feb. something really bad happened, and then other things happened and kept on piling up, until I was in therapy almost having to be put on suicide watch. I made it through the school year, but over the summer things got much worse. My closest family member told me I was acting sad and depressed for attention and that I was only saying I was suicidal for attention. I reached out to close friends and was able to move forward and began to feel like my old self. I changed a lot, and grew up a lot.
I discovered I had a anxiety/panic disorder that has always been affecting my quality of life.Therapy helped until my therapist starting saying things that scared me.
But starting in August things started to get bad again. My friends have pretty much abandoned me for various reasons, some of them got boyfriends others just have stopped talking to me. And I just feel like everyone hates me and I've lost everything.
Today, I got some of the worst news of my life. And it really has put me in a spot where I don't know what the hell will happen to me, or my life, if I'll ever really find happiness again. If I will ever know what having friends and people who love me feels like.
I just want to start over, a clean slate and I want to stop feeling so scared and worthless. I want to know when a relationship is healthy and or if a friendship is worth fighting for. Not that anyone can really tell me the answers. I just need some one or some people to give me words of reassurance, maybe even stories that show when we are in the worst times of our lives, that things will eventually get better and life will be okay again.
I'm sorry you feel that way If you feel like nobody cares, come here to show that that is not true. We care And we will be there if you are sad, angry, in pain. We may not personally know each other, but we don't have to to care for each other. Like I said, the people in this community will be there for you!
Of course it hurts to be ignored. If a friend is doing this, he/she is not much of a friend. I take the hint when this happens and go somewhere else.
Crud. See things while you can and do your best to remember. And I guess get a head start on learning Braille. At least voice recognition and synthesis have improved a lot over the past decade, and should continue to do so.
I'm just gonna post two in one:
* Does it piss anyone else off when you're trying to get someone's attention and they pretend to not no… moretice you? Or when they're talking to someone else and you are trying to say something in between and they won't even bother acknowledging you? This is extremely annoying, especially when a friend does this.
* My eyes are getting worse and I'm actually going to end up going blind in the future.
Your post is a bit vague so I don't know what all I could say to help, but in regards to this:
But starting in August things started to get bad again. My friends have pretty much abandoned me for various reasons, some of them got boyfriends others just have stopped talking to me. And I just feel like everyone hates me and I've lost everything.
...sometimes, people unfortunately move on just because, for reasons that are not necessarily malicious. You mention being anxious, so that will make your personal perception of whatever happens to be inclined towards more pessimistic expectations that might not always be true.
I want to know when a relationship is healthy and or if a friendship is worth fighting for.
Situations like that are not black and white. You can't really speak in absolutes as to whether or not people/relationships are worth "fighting for", and that honestly depends on the context. Not all relationships are good for people and some can be bad, but I think that that is above the scope of what you are asking for. Again, I recommend checking out the Vent thread as its larger audience might get more people to help you out. If you want, I can merge this thread with the other one to where all the posts including your main one are moved over. I will not do so immediately as I do not know if you wanted this to be its own separate thread or not.
Hey, Hollay, you left the forums for a while after I posted a couple of pretty intense messages, and I've always felt like I'm the one who drove you off. If you ever feel unwelcome here because of me, just tell me to shut up, and I will leave you alone.
I could point out that my wife was in a pretty tough spot before I showed up and "rescued" her, but that just sounds like I'm boasting about how awesome I am. Still, it shows you never know who's going to come along.
There's real love and real friendships out there. Sometimes they seem impossible, but they're out there.
If you want to share what's devastating, you might find someone in the same situation or who's been there before. Or just search Google for support groups (open a new Private window first or delete cookies afterward so it doesn't start showing you ads for it).
If you want a complete change in your life, that's pretty easy to do in the U.S. It's not always the right thing to do, but sometimes it's also exactly what you need.
Don't ever think it was you! No one on here drove me off, I made a decision to leave temporarily because I put too much focus into the forums instead of school. So, I needed to go. But, I also had some really bad series of events happen in Feb/March and I was barely hanging on... that last post I made was what was responsible for me having to seek therapy and see how bad my mental health was suffering because of my anxiety and thinking patterns...
You always gave me kind, insightful, and thoughtful responses. Don't worry, please!
And it's pretty specific to my family situation. I don't know if anyone could really help me by saying "Oh yeah been through that too."
I want a complete change, but not in a "leave everything behind and move on and act like this stuff never happened" kind of way, more in a healthy "it's time to work on my and find who I really am way."
WarpSpeed, thank you so much for all your kind comments through the years.
Hey, Hollay, you left the forums for a while after I posted a couple of pretty intense messages, and I've always felt like I'm the one who d… morerove you off. If you ever feel unwelcome here because of me, just tell me to shut up, and I will leave you alone.
I could point out that my wife was in a pretty tough spot before I showed up and "rescued" her, but that just sounds like I'm boasting about how awesome I am. Still, it shows you never know who's going to come along.
There's real love and real friendships out there. Sometimes they seem impossible, but they're out there.
If you want to share what's devastating, you might find someone in the same situation or who's been there before. Or just search Google for support groups (open a new Private window first or delete cookies afterward so it doesn't start showing you ads for it).
If you want a complete change in your life, that's pretty easy to do in the U.S. It's not always the right thing to do, but sometimes it's also exactly what you need.
Good luck!
I want to start off by saying that I know how you feel. I've been there. I'm no godly therapist, but I do have experience with this topic, and I feel like I should share my story with you. And others in the future, maybe, who are suffering the same way you are and I did.
On my 15th birthday, my best friend left me. I don't know what for or why, but he did. I'm not emotional, but he cut himself from my life so suddenly that I would cry when I even thought of him. I shared everything with him, thought so highly of him and loved him, and I thought he thought the same of me because he acted like it. I became detached and sad; I drew myself away from everything and everybody, so much that even my other remaining friends began snipping themselves from my life too. They didn't know what was going on because I refused to tell anyone, and I guess they found my behavior unbearable. All of this happened so fast, like ripping off a band-aid. I began spiraling into depression and I couldn't reach the bottom, and frankly, I didn't care. It's hard for me to write this now, but I remember coming to a realization one day that I wouldn't care if I killed myself. I felt so much pain that I just wanted it to go away.
By December, I felt better. Not great, but okay. A new friend showed up out of nowhere. Popular, funny, charming. We were fantastic friends for a few months when he left in April. Days later, my grandma and grandpa died. This all hit me really hard. It felt like history was repeating itself, but worse. I had to experience that awful mental pain again, and this time, I thought I would never get out of it - I was convinced I was done. It took a lot of self-discipline, but in a month or two I was able to get my stubborn ass to crawl out of depression. I taught my myself to forgive my old friends. I told myself that I was worth it, that I can do better than them, and that I am better than them. I doubted it all, of course, and maybe I still do, but these cringey little motivational pep-talks helped a lot more than I originally thought. In the end, a little part of you comes to believe those things. And you should, because they're true.
Watch this.
I want you to know that people love you, even if it doesn't feel like it. You just don't know it. And you aren't alone. There are about 350 million people out there feeling the same way as you. I know you feel worthless and sad, but I promise you that this feeling will go away as time wears on. In the meantime, listen to your favorite songs! Sit inside and drink some hot chocolate, curl up with your favorite book, watch some Youtube, spend time with family! Go outside and look at the stars, enjoy the breeze, put yourself out there and say hi to others! Attend a yoga class, go on vacation, go to the movies, buy a turkey and cook up a feast for yourself for Thanksgiving!
You have every right to feel happy and confident. Put yourself out there and do it! Reach out and tell your girl friends that you want to hang out, get a journal or diary and write your heart out to it, sit down and talk to your family if you need to. Also, I do encourage you to practice yoga, whether it's by yourself at home or with a group; it'll help you slow down and deal with stress and anxiety in a healthy way. Also, dump that therapist. If the dude's scaring you, it's not worth going to visit him whether he tells you it's a good idea or not.
800-784-2433. Boom, suicide hotline. Use it when times get tough. It will help you. Additionally, I want you to know that I'm here for you. If you ever feel especially sad or lonely or hopeless or down or you need a friend, I'm one click away.
Haha to be honest the therapist I went too never have much too say. :P
But thank you very much. I am really starting to see how important it is that I am happy with myself, regardless of my circumstances and how too see and know my own worth. Today was just one of those days that made me feel worthless.
Thank you again for taking some time to share that quote with me.
I don't know what to tell you, given I'm not a therapist. But here's a qoute that has helped me through some hard times.
"You need to mak… moree yourself happy before you try to make others happy. Put yourself first, and do what you have to do for your well being"
Great qoute. Anyway take care of yourself first, before anyone else. That is the most important person. Hope this helps a little.
Thank you very much. You are very sweet. It's been a while since I've been here, and when I left back then I was going through a lot that really made it hard to be able to voice my issues adequately... But yes, there are a many great people here. Thank you very much for taking some time to let me know.
I'm sorry you feel that way If you feel like nobody cares, come here to show that that is not true. We care And we will be there if you a… morere sad, angry, in pain. We may not personally know each other, but we don't have to to care for each other. Like I said, the people in this community will be there for you!
You mention being anxious, so that will make your personal perception of whatever happens to be inclined towards more pessimistic expectations that might not always be true.
Basically me life in a nutshell the past 8 months, but then I look further back and see my entire life and all my decisions were based off of crippling anxiety. But yes, I agree, my anxiety has definitely clouded my judgement and perception of things in my life quite often. Though sometimes, the signs add up and you realize that people don't really care about you as much as you believed they did....
And yes, if it would make things easier for everyone I don't mind merging it over. Thanks Blind for the kind words.
I can direct you to the "Vent" thread, where your post might get more exposure due to the large group of users that visit that thread: https… more://telltale.com/community/discussion/92470/the-vent-thread
Your post is a bit vague so I don't know what all I could say to help, but in regards to this:
But starting in August things started to get bad again. My friends have pretty much abandoned me for various reasons, some of them got boyfriends others just have stopped talking to me. And I just feel like everyone hates me and I've lost everything.
...sometimes, people unfortunately move on just because, for reasons that are not necessarily malicious. You mention being anxious, so that will make your personal perception of whatever happens to be inclined towards more pessimistic expectations that might not always be true.
I want to know when a relationship is healthy and or if a friendship is worth fighting for.
Situation… [view original content]
I've known plenty of people put in the same or similar situations and it really sucks to see them go through something like this. But you shouldn't blame yourself for your friends abandoning you. If they just up and leave you for little to reason, then chances are they were never worth your time in the first place. I'm sorry that you're going through this and I wish you the best of luck. Wish I could offer more advice or consolation, but that's the best I can do.
A friend worth fighting for is one whom the answer of "...fine" isn't enough for.
While we may not all be friends here, no one wants to see someone else's life fall apart here either. We are a group. We are somewhere to belong. We rely on each other for that. Even with all sorts of religions, ideals, loves. Even though some of us hate others here. This place is somewhere for us to belong. As long as you don't break the rules , we are somewhere for you to belong as well.
Friends come and friends go. Some stick around, some disappear. Whether they're out there or in here, you'll find ones whom are worth it and find you worth it as well. This becomes especially true as an adult where you will probably only have time to have a couple really close friends. Two people will just find each other and both think "this person is worth making time for". It WILL happen. You WILL have such friends.
I was part of the disfunctional group at school. That's the nice way of saying "we were all pretty @#$%d up". You know what? We may not really be "friends" anymore(even though we are still directly or indirectly linked through some friends), but each one of us has at least one person we truly care about and call a close friend. Everyone I know does.
I am sorry you are going through this, you can PM anytime, really really I'd like to talk to you!
I think what you really need is someone who cares and understands. I am no therapist but I am a human like you too so I will just let my thoughts out for you.
I don't have anxiety or any disorder that I am aware of, but I've had my weird issues. Life consists of both good and bad things. Imagine life as an ocean -- the waves (bad) will keep coming and hitting you out of nowhere and you'll get lost, cry, try to find your balance. And there is the calm. It's just like that.
Maybe you just need to change, shift your perspective. I don't want you to live whole life stressing, overthinking and feeling worthless. That's not the point.
Before finding friendship, or relationship of any kind with someone, you have to improve relationship with yourself, buddy. You are not worthless, nobody is worthless, stop tearing yourself apart. You judge yourself so hard because you know what's going on in your head 24/7 and compare yourself to others. Nahhh.
You can be anything. There are only limitations in physical world (nope I am not implying mental disorders can be cured by magical will). Being scared of being alone isn't good. You have to be able to stand on your two own feet and do whatever you want whether you are alone, surrounded by 3 people, 1204 or 3 billion.
My best friend of 4 years just stopped talking to me. Boo freaking hoo. It's sad and also rude of her to just disappear although she knew how to text when she needed something but alrighty. People come and go, some will stay, most of them will go, everyone is a main character in their story so yeahh.
Also, control emotions, don't let them control you. You gotta be above them.
I use this tip often -- "Should I worry/overthink so much about this thing? Let's see ; will it matter in 10 minutes? yes/no will it matter in 10 months? yes/no will it matter in 10 years? yes/no
So far, I haven't found a thing worth worrying about!
I've recently realized just how small, short and temporary our lives are and have been hit by weird feelings and I hoped to find the reason why am I writing this to you now but loooost it.
I'm really sorry to hear about your story. I just want to let you know that I've been there, and I want to share my own personal story as well, if you don't mind?
In 2012, the economy in our country started to collapse to the point of most citizens being forced to move to another country. Eventually we figured out that United Kingdom would be the best option, and we decided to settle on London. Ever since I moved on the new city, unfortunately, a lot of problems started to raise up. I couldn't get used to my surroundings. I couldn't speak clearly because my English wasn't fluent, it was very far from that. I didn't know how and where to go. I couldn't go to the gym, do parkour or anything like that which I loved. I was forced to stay in my house with a computer and nothing else. I lost all of my friends. I don't want to sound cocky, but I was always on the "popular crowd" and had plenty of friends, but only few were real: People I could trust and share emotions. But with those gone, I couldn't understand the point of life, and I fell into depression. Two years of loneliness passed. On school, I tried to make friends, but I realized almost none of them were right for me, they were unfunny, immature and annoying (In my opinion). Eventually I made 3 friends, but one of them moved to a different school and we lost contact, and the other one was a natural born liar, so I settled for the last remaining friend. This one friend was a very good person, however, one day when I asked him to go out with me, he refused, with the excuse that my home was very far from his. The depression deepened. I learned that my dad was cheating on my mother and I was afraid of losing my parents, my sisters and brothers. I felt totally heart-broken, worthless, pathetic. I wanted to die so badly. However, one day, when I was going to school, a woman asked me if I might have gotten lost. I didn't know what to say to her and I simply replied "No". I wasn't grateful at all she asked me for my well-being, but I do now. A few weeks after that, my mother told me that my dad stopped cheating on her and that we were moving back to my country. I was so happy when I heard that, it really fixed my mood. The same day I left, my school-friend texted me and asked where I was, and I told him that I'm in my country now. He said that he was planning to go out and play games with me in his house. His mother expected me to come too, so she cooked a ton of food. I got very happy. I thought that he cared about me. I saw my true friends and they welcomed me, supported me, and we had a lot of fun together. I started reading quotes on the Internet, and "liked" a guy on Facebook named "Daniel Amos". That guy posts a lot of inspirational and optimistic quotes, which helped me see life from a different point of view. In fact, I totally agree with what he writes. Life indeed changes by how you handle it. It's literally all up to you. My mind indeed created obstacles that were not there in the first place. I indeed acted very badly to most people because of my foolness. I indeed had to go through a lot to get where I am now. I indeed didn't always succeed, but it was probably because I didn't learn enough, and I should try it differently next time. Some people walked out of my life but it was probably for the best. All I could do was to feel sorry, and ask myself and the people around me to forgive me and my stupid decisions and mistakes. I forgave myself, and so did the people around me. It took a helluva a lot of time to forgive myself, but it was worth it. I knew what had to be done. I knew I had to change, and turn into a better person for the sake of everyone. And I did. Look at me now. I'm beyond happy. I'm excited all the time. I care about everyone. I'm trying my best not to offend others. If bad things happen, I improvise, work hard to get them fixed and deal with them. I worked hard on what I always wanted and loved, and I'm close to becoming a computer programmer and sound designer. Before, I couldn't care less about what happened to everybody else. I only cared about myself, and thought that nobody else could suffer as much as me. That's because I was stupid back then. Really, really stupid. A lot of people suffer way worse than me, but they're still alive. It's not because they're stronger, smarter or anything like that. It's because they have hope. They don't just give up. They know that things will turn around and everything will go smoothly. I forgave myself for that, and I moved on. Life doesn't stop. If anyone can do this, you can, friend. And I will be honest, it might take a lot of time, but I, and probably other users on the forum, are always here for you. I care for you, and I hope you recover when the right time comes. Please don't hesitate to seek help from us or from a suicide hotline. I would be more than happy to help you. And if you want a friend, I'm always open to new friends. I would love to have you as a friend, you sound like a really good and cool person.
Suicide hotline: 800-784-2433
Oh, and if you're still questioning me about how I do not care about you, well, if I didn't care about you, I wouldn't write this wall of text, am I right?
To finally end this long and sweet message, if your therapist makes you feel bad, you should tell them, never come back, and seek another therapist. Unfortunately or fortunately, not everyone is supposed to stay in your life. Some people walk out of your life for a reason, which is probably for the best. Best of luck to you, and remember, if you need assistance, please contact me via Private Message or on here, I would be more than happy to help you.
While there's plenty of things about your life and your circumstances you don't have control over, that doesn't mean everything is outside of your control. Constructive ways of thinking about yourself, how you think about problems, the people you associate with-- this is the kind of stuff you can work on that will prepare you to navigate inevitable pains and challenges and prevent the bottom from falling out. A good therapist can offer you tools that work best specifically for you in helping you do that, so I encourage you to stick with it.
I empathize with what you're going through, so I was going to type something lengthier out-- but after looking over all these amazing responses, all I can think to say is that this community is pretty darn cool. If you need a clown, my inbox is also open for business. You'll get through this.
When you said you had gotten some of the worst news of your life, I thought it must be something medical that you couldn't do anything about, and that you thought that people would shun you for it when they found out. An example would be being told you could never have children, when your belief is that you'd never find a guy to love you if you couldn't produce offspring for him.
Family matters can be tough, but they're always survivable. Well, maybe not if you're part of the royal family, and the rebels who have invaded the castle are determined that none of your bloodline shall remain, but you get what I mean. Maybe some family ties will never be the same again, but you can still push forward and make something of your own life.
When it comes to changing everything without moving to an entirely new city, it helps to just do it. Tell yourself that the Old Hollay would have handled things some way, but you want to handle them differently from now on. Today you are the New Hollay, and you will handle them that way today.
Many others have posted some really good things in this thread. Take them to heart.
Don't ever think it was you! No one on here drove me off, I made a decision to leave temporarily because I put too much focus into the forum… mores instead of school. So, I needed to go. But, I also had some really bad series of events happen in Feb/March and I was barely hanging on... that last post I made was what was responsible for me having to seek therapy and see how bad my mental health was suffering because of my anxiety and thinking patterns...
You always gave me kind, insightful, and thoughtful responses. Don't worry, please!
And it's pretty specific to my family situation. I don't know if anyone could really help me by saying "Oh yeah been through that too."
I want a complete change, but not in a "leave everything behind and move on and act like this stuff never happened" kind of way, more in a healthy "it's time to work on my and find who I really am way."
WarpSpeed, thank you so much for all your kind comments through the years.
A close family member has recently made me feel as if I've been shunned from their life, and it's just a bit of a punch in the gut. So, I'm still trying to figure out how to deal with it, and who exactly is in the right and in the wrong. It's a long story.
Haha, yeah, I was never in the good graces of the nobility of my family. And quite frankly I don't want too if it means I have to think and act like them. :P And the thing is, I placed so much of my value upon what others told me what I was and what I was worth. And now knowing what one of them truly thought about me has definitely changed things. I just wish this wouldn't have happened in the midst of the issues with my friends as well. I just feel so alone.
I am not moving to a new city, or even out of the current one, I just need to reinvent myself from where I am. It's really all about perspective, and how I choose to react to the world now. And your right, the old me's reactions vs. this new me's reactions will reflect that change. Because I won't be stuck in the rut I buried myself.
Thank you for saying so.
When you said you had gotten some of the worst news of your life, I thought it must be something medical that yo… moreu couldn't do anything about, and that you thought that people would shun you for it when they found out. An example would be being told you could never have children, when your belief is that you'd never find a guy to love you if you couldn't produce offspring for him.
Family matters can be tough, but they're always survivable. Well, maybe not if you're part of the royal family, and the rebels who have invaded the castle are determined that none of your bloodline shall remain, but you get what I mean. Maybe some family ties will never be the same again, but you can still push forward and make something of your own life.
When it comes to changing everything without moving to an entirely new city, it helps to just do it. Tell yourself that the Old Hollay would have handled things some way, but yo… [view original content]
Wow, thank you very much for sharing your personal experience with me. I appreciate your heartfelt words.
I'm sorry that you have also gone through some very rough experiences and down times... but I'm very glad to know you've been able to pull yourself out of it and hang on.
I guess when I recovered from this pit of depression/anxiety the first time, I believed that I would never have to face that again. In the end, I came out of it feeling like I had a real support system in my life that I could rely on. But then, when it happened again, they all suddenly go away. Or it feels like it at least. I'm too scared to reach out, too scared to try and end up finding that those people will shun me. And that the person who recently hurt me has chosen other people over her own family...
I've never reached out to the suicide hotline. I'm honestly too scared to, and I never felt as if my life was in danger that badly. What happens if you call them? And I'm also too scared to seek another therapist, I'm scared they might see me back in the office and speaking to another therapist...
Thank you very much for sharing all of that with me. I appreciate the time you took to share your story with me and to let me know what has helped you through those hard times.
I want to start off by saying that I know how you feel. I've been there. I'm no godly therapist, but I do have experience with this topic, a… morend I feel like I should share my story with you. And others in the future, maybe, who are suffering the same way you are and I did.
On my 15th birthday, my best friend left me. I don't know what for or why, but he did. I'm not emotional, but he cut himself from my life so suddenly that I would cry when I even thought of him. I shared everything with him, thought so highly of him and loved him, and I thought he thought the same of me because he acted like it. I became detached and sad; I drew myself away from everything and everybody, so much that even my other remaining friends began snipping themselves from my life too. They didn't know what was going on because I refused to tell anyone, and I guess they found my behavior unbearable. All of this happened so fast, like ripping off a band-aid. I began s… [view original content]
It's just weird because they have all been long time friends, and they just seem to ignore me now and it really hurts to know people you love and trust are actively ignoring you. IDK if they were all that good of friends, because I'm not sure if they really were all the great. I mean, we had fun, but, I've never felt like I could call them up at a moments notice. But thank you none the less for taking the time to comment. It's nice (though sad) to know that people go through losing friends often.
I've known plenty of people put in the same or similar situations and it really sucks to see them go through something like this. But you sh… moreouldn't blame yourself for your friends abandoning you. If they just up and leave you for little to reason, then chances are they were never worth your time in the first place. I'm sorry that you're going through this and I wish you the best of luck. Wish I could offer more advice or consolation, but that's the best I can do.
I just know myself, if I get too involved in the forums my school work and actual work output will plummet. ;P But I agree, this place is diverse and sometimes divided, but I love this community.
I just hope I can find them soon... And thank you for the kind words.
A friend worth fighting for is one whom the answer of "...fine" isn't enough for.
While we may not all be friends here, no one wants to s… moreee someone else's life fall apart here either. We are a group. We are somewhere to belong. We rely on each other for that. Even with all sorts of religions, ideals, loves. Even though some of us hate others here. This place is somewhere for us to belong. As long as you don't break the rules , we are somewhere for you to belong as well.
Friends come and friends go. Some stick around, some disappear. Whether they're out there or in here, you'll find ones whom are worth it and find you worth it as well. This becomes especially true as an adult where you will probably only have time to have a couple really close friends. Two people will just find each other and both think "this person is worth making time for". It WILL happen. You WILL have such friends.
I was part of the disfunctional gro… [view original content]
You are such a sweetheart MarijaaNo7... ;A; I'm honestly suprised people have remembered me enough to show any concern. But I really appreciate your kind, supportive, and sweet words as well as kind quirky self.
Before finding friendship, or relationship of any kind with someone, you have to improve relationship with yourself, buddy. You are not worthless, nobody is worthless, stop tearing yourself apart. You judge yourself so hard because you know what's going on in your head 24/7 and compare yourself to others. Nahhh.
This is so true. ;A; I judge myself way to harshly, I always have. But not it's gotten to the point where somethings gotta give, and I have to change. And you're right, about everything. About standing on my own two feet and living my life, controlling my emotions and how I react to the things around me.
I also just realized how short and temporary everything is as well this summer, and it's definitely changed my outlook on life, and people, and experiences, etc. But that's good advice you have presented.
I definitely get what you're saying, thank you so much for all your kind words. And I like you too!
Hollay, you're back!
I am sorry you are going through this, you can PM anytime, really really I'd like to talk to you!
I think what y… moreou really need is someone who cares and understands. I am no therapist but I am a human like you too so I will just let my thoughts out for you.
I don't have anxiety or any disorder that I am aware of, but I've had my weird issues. Life consists of both good and bad things. Imagine life as an ocean -- the waves (bad) will keep coming and hitting you out of nowhere and you'll get lost, cry, try to find your balance. And there is the calm. It's just like that.
Maybe you just need to change, shift your perspective. I don't want you to live whole life stressing, overthinking and feeling worthless. That's not the point.
Before finding friendship, or relationship of any kind with someone, you have to improve relationship with yourself, buddy. You are not worthless, nobody is worthless, stop tearing yo… [view original content]
I'm really frustrated with social media and how most other people my age get their news and world perspective from Facebook, where most articles are just aiming to get hits and are mostly misleading, biased, or completely false.
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Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck FUUUUUUUUUCK my life right now
What's wrong my fellow Stacheist? Always remember to turn to Kenny in your time of need.
Hello brethren. For some perspective, the mother of my child is basically a "Jane".... selfish, manipulative, deluded...
I'm a lot like Kenny so you can imagine my frustration in splitting up from her and dealing with custody
I'm very sorry to hear that brother. May the stache be with you in your time of need.
Seriously I do hope things get better for you, man. Your position is one I do not envy. Stay strong!
If you have been insulted every time, it is time to consider the posibility that the common factor is what is igniting the insults—you.
This does not mean that you are undeniably the reason, since I could not say that given that we have barely interacted; but you have got to analyze what is happening with an impartial view, dropping any impulse to justify yourself. Going by the information you've given, that is the only potential way to prevent receiving more insults during discussions.
Thanks brotha. I just have to make the best of it and focus on improving myself, I suppose. I'll try not to brood too much and to stay positive.
Kenny would take a situation like this in stride, right? Haha
Well he'd probably stab your wife in the heart in a snowstorm. Good to hear you've got positive spirits, man!
You guys..... fuck potatoes...?
Lmfao yeah maybe that wasn't the right question to ask. But yeah I'm trying, I appreciate the concern
Thanks bro!
sigh I want this post removed... it feels awkward right now...
I'm just gonna post two in one:
Does it piss anyone else off when you're trying to get someone's attention and they pretend to not notice you? Or when they're talking to someone else and you are trying to say something in between and they won't even bother acknowledging you? This is extremely annoying, especially when a friend does this.
My eyes are getting worse and I'm actually going to end up going blind in the future.
Thread: Help and Advice Please
Or maybe just someone or some people to talk too...
Starting last December, I started to feel off. I was really upset about everything, I couldn't really smile or get happy about things anymore. I thought maybe it was related to stress from school. But, starting in Feb. something really bad happened, and then other things happened and kept on piling up, until I was in therapy almost having to be put on suicide watch. I made it through the school year, but over the summer things got much worse. My closest family member told me I was acting sad and depressed for attention and that I was only saying I was suicidal for attention. I reached out to close friends and was able to move forward and began to feel like my old self. I changed a lot, and grew up a lot.
I discovered I had a anxiety/panic disorder that has always been affecting my quality of life.Therapy helped until my therapist starting saying things that scared me.
But starting in August things started to get bad again. My friends have pretty much abandoned me for various reasons, some of them got boyfriends others just have stopped talking to me. And I just feel like everyone hates me and I've lost everything.
Today, I got some of the worst news of my life. And it really has put me in a spot where I don't know what the hell will happen to me, or my life, if I'll ever really find happiness again. If I will ever know what having friends and people who love me feels like.
I just want to start over, a clean slate and I want to stop feeling so scared and worthless. I want to know when a relationship is healthy and or if a friendship is worth fighting for. Not that anyone can really tell me the answers. I just need some one or some people to give me words of reassurance, maybe even stories that show when we are in the worst times of our lives, that things will eventually get better and life will be okay again.
I don't know what to tell you, given I'm not a therapist. But here's a qoute that has helped me through some hard times.
"You need to make yourself happy before you try to make others happy. Put yourself first, and do what you have to do for your well being"
Great qoute. Anyway take care of yourself first, before anyone else. That is the most important person. Hope this helps a little.
I'm sorry you feel that way If you feel like nobody cares, come here to show that that is not true. We care And we will be there if you are sad, angry, in pain. We may not personally know each other, but we don't have to to care for each other. Like I said, the people in this community will be there for you!
I can direct you to the "Vent" thread, where your post might get more exposure due to the large group of users that visit that thread: https://telltale.com/community/discussion/92470/the-vent-thread
Your post is a bit vague so I don't know what all I could say to help, but in regards to this:
...sometimes, people unfortunately move on just because, for reasons that are not necessarily malicious. You mention being anxious, so that will make your personal perception of whatever happens to be inclined towards more pessimistic expectations that might not always be true.
Situations like that are not black and white. You can't really speak in absolutes as to whether or not people/relationships are worth "fighting for", and that honestly depends on the context. Not all relationships are good for people and some can be bad, but I think that that is above the scope of what you are asking for. Again, I recommend checking out the Vent thread as its larger audience might get more people to help you out. If you want, I can merge this thread with the other one to where all the posts including your main one are moved over. I will not do so immediately as I do not know if you wanted this to be its own separate thread or not.
What do you have behind that? Blood samples of all the criminals you have given mercy?
Hey, Hollay, you left the forums for a while after I posted a couple of pretty intense messages, and I've always felt like I'm the one who drove you off. If you ever feel unwelcome here because of me, just tell me to shut up, and I will leave you alone.
I could point out that my wife was in a pretty tough spot before I showed up and "rescued" her, but that just sounds like I'm boasting about how awesome I am. Still, it shows you never know who's going to come along.
There's real love and real friendships out there. Sometimes they seem impossible, but they're out there.
If you want to share what's devastating, you might find someone in the same situation or who's been there before. Or just search Google for support groups (open a new Private window first or delete cookies afterward so it doesn't start showing you ads for it).
If you want a complete change in your life, that's pretty easy to do in the U.S. It's not always the right thing to do, but sometimes it's also exactly what you need.
Good luck!
Don't ever think it was you! No one on here drove me off, I made a decision to leave temporarily because I put too much focus into the forums instead of school. So, I needed to go. But, I also had some really bad series of events happen in Feb/March and I was barely hanging on... that last post I made was what was responsible for me having to seek therapy and see how bad my mental health was suffering because of my anxiety and thinking patterns...
You always gave me kind, insightful, and thoughtful responses. Don't worry, please!
And it's pretty specific to my family situation. I don't know if anyone could really help me by saying "Oh yeah been through that too."
I want a complete change, but not in a "leave everything behind and move on and act like this stuff never happened" kind of way, more in a healthy "it's time to work on my and find who I really am way."
WarpSpeed, thank you so much for all your kind comments through the years.
I want to start off by saying that I know how you feel. I've been there. I'm no godly therapist, but I do have experience with this topic, and I feel like I should share my story with you. And others in the future, maybe, who are suffering the same way you are and I did.
On my 15th birthday, my best friend left me. I don't know what for or why, but he did. I'm not emotional, but he cut himself from my life so suddenly that I would cry when I even thought of him. I shared everything with him, thought so highly of him and loved him, and I thought he thought the same of me because he acted like it. I became detached and sad; I drew myself away from everything and everybody, so much that even my other remaining friends began snipping themselves from my life too. They didn't know what was going on because I refused to tell anyone, and I guess they found my behavior unbearable. All of this happened so fast, like ripping off a band-aid. I began spiraling into depression and I couldn't reach the bottom, and frankly, I didn't care. It's hard for me to write this now, but I remember coming to a realization one day that I wouldn't care if I killed myself. I felt so much pain that I just wanted it to go away.
By December, I felt better. Not great, but okay. A new friend showed up out of nowhere. Popular, funny, charming. We were fantastic friends for a few months when he left in April. Days later, my grandma and grandpa died. This all hit me really hard. It felt like history was repeating itself, but worse. I had to experience that awful mental pain again, and this time, I thought I would never get out of it - I was convinced I was done. It took a lot of self-discipline, but in a month or two I was able to get my stubborn ass to crawl out of depression. I taught my myself to forgive my old friends. I told myself that I was worth it, that I can do better than them, and that I am better than them. I doubted it all, of course, and maybe I still do, but these cringey little motivational pep-talks helped a lot more than I originally thought. In the end, a little part of you comes to believe those things. And you should, because they're true.
Watch this.
I want you to know that people love you, even if it doesn't feel like it. You just don't know it. And you aren't alone. There are about 350 million people out there feeling the same way as you. I know you feel worthless and sad, but I promise you that this feeling will go away as time wears on. In the meantime, listen to your favorite songs! Sit inside and drink some hot chocolate, curl up with your favorite book, watch some Youtube, spend time with family! Go outside and look at the stars, enjoy the breeze, put yourself out there and say hi to others! Attend a yoga class, go on vacation, go to the movies, buy a turkey and cook up a feast for yourself for Thanksgiving!
You have every right to feel happy and confident. Put yourself out there and do it! Reach out and tell your girl friends that you want to hang out, get a journal or diary and write your heart out to it, sit down and talk to your family if you need to. Also, I do encourage you to practice yoga, whether it's by yourself at home or with a group; it'll help you slow down and deal with stress and anxiety in a healthy way. Also, dump that therapist. If the dude's scaring you, it's not worth going to visit him whether he tells you it's a good idea or not.
800-784-2433. Boom, suicide hotline. Use it when times get tough. It will help you. Additionally, I want you to know that I'm here for you. If you ever feel especially sad or lonely or hopeless or down or you need a friend, I'm one click away.
Haha to be honest the therapist I went too never have much too say. :P
But thank you very much. I am really starting to see how important it is that I am happy with myself, regardless of my circumstances and how too see and know my own worth. Today was just one of those days that made me feel worthless.
Thank you again for taking some time to share that quote with me.
Thank you very much. You are very sweet. It's been a while since I've been here, and when I left back then I was going through a lot that really made it hard to be able to voice my issues adequately... But yes, there are a many great people here. Thank you very much for taking some time to let me know.
Basically me life in a nutshell the past 8 months, but then I look further back and see my entire life and all my decisions were based off of crippling anxiety. But yes, I agree, my anxiety has definitely clouded my judgement and perception of things in my life quite often. Though sometimes, the signs add up and you realize that people don't really care about you as much as you believed they did....
And yes, if it would make things easier for everyone I don't mind merging it over. Thanks Blind for the kind words.
I've known plenty of people put in the same or similar situations and it really sucks to see them go through something like this. But you shouldn't blame yourself for your friends abandoning you. If they just up and leave you for little to reason, then chances are they were never worth your time in the first place. I'm sorry that you're going through this and I wish you the best of luck. Wish I could offer more advice or consolation, but that's the best I can do.
A friend worth fighting for is one whom the answer of "...fine" isn't enough for.
While we may not all be friends here, no one wants to see someone else's life fall apart here either. We are a group. We are somewhere to belong. We rely on each other for that. Even with all sorts of religions, ideals, loves. Even though some of us hate others here. This place is somewhere for us to belong. As long as you don't break the rules , we are somewhere for you to belong as well.
Friends come and friends go. Some stick around, some disappear. Whether they're out there or in here, you'll find ones whom are worth it and find you worth it as well. This becomes especially true as an adult where you will probably only have time to have a couple really close friends. Two people will just find each other and both think "this person is worth making time for". It WILL happen. You WILL have such friends.
I was part of the disfunctional group at school. That's the nice way of saying "we were all pretty @#$%d up". You know what? We may not really be "friends" anymore(even though we are still directly or indirectly linked through some friends), but each one of us has at least one person we truly care about and call a close friend. Everyone I know does.
You will too.
Hollay, you're back!
I am sorry you are going through this, you can PM anytime, really really I'd like to talk to you!
I think what you really need is someone who cares and understands. I am no therapist but I am a human like you too so I will just let my thoughts out for you.
I don't have anxiety or any disorder that I am aware of, but I've had my weird issues. Life consists of both good and bad things. Imagine life as an ocean -- the waves (bad) will keep coming and hitting you out of nowhere and you'll get lost, cry, try to find your balance. And there is the calm. It's just like that.
Maybe you just need to change, shift your perspective. I don't want you to live whole life stressing, overthinking and feeling worthless. That's not the point.
Before finding friendship, or relationship of any kind with someone, you have to improve relationship with yourself, buddy. You are not worthless, nobody is worthless, stop tearing yourself apart. You judge yourself so hard because you know what's going on in your head 24/7 and compare yourself to others. Nahhh.
You can be anything. There are only limitations in physical world (nope I am not implying mental disorders can be cured by magical will). Being scared of being alone isn't good. You have to be able to stand on your two own feet and do whatever you want whether you are alone, surrounded by 3 people, 1204 or 3 billion.
My best friend of 4 years just stopped talking to me. Boo freaking hoo. It's sad and also rude of her to just disappear although she knew how to text when she needed something but alrighty. People come and go, some will stay, most of them will go, everyone is a main character in their story so yeahh.
Also, control emotions, don't let them control you. You gotta be above them.
I use this tip often -- "Should I worry/overthink so much about this thing? Let's see ; will it matter in 10 minutes? yes/no will it matter in 10 months? yes/no will it matter in 10 years? yes/no
So far, I haven't found a thing worth worrying about!
I've recently realized just how small, short and temporary our lives are and have been hit by weird feelings and I hoped to find the reason why am I writing this to you now but loooost it.
I like you tho.
Play "Tales from the Borderlands". Maybe it'll cheer you up. You won't get better advice in this place.
Hello @SupernovaeHollay,
I'm really sorry to hear about your story. I just want to let you know that I've been there, and I want to share my own personal story as well, if you don't mind?
In 2012, the economy in our country started to collapse to the point of most citizens being forced to move to another country. Eventually we figured out that United Kingdom would be the best option, and we decided to settle on London. Ever since I moved on the new city, unfortunately, a lot of problems started to raise up. I couldn't get used to my surroundings. I couldn't speak clearly because my English wasn't fluent, it was very far from that. I didn't know how and where to go. I couldn't go to the gym, do parkour or anything like that which I loved. I was forced to stay in my house with a computer and nothing else. I lost all of my friends. I don't want to sound cocky, but I was always on the "popular crowd" and had plenty of friends, but only few were real: People I could trust and share emotions. But with those gone, I couldn't understand the point of life, and I fell into depression. Two years of loneliness passed. On school, I tried to make friends, but I realized almost none of them were right for me, they were unfunny, immature and annoying (In my opinion). Eventually I made 3 friends, but one of them moved to a different school and we lost contact, and the other one was a natural born liar, so I settled for the last remaining friend. This one friend was a very good person, however, one day when I asked him to go out with me, he refused, with the excuse that my home was very far from his. The depression deepened. I learned that my dad was cheating on my mother and I was afraid of losing my parents, my sisters and brothers. I felt totally heart-broken, worthless, pathetic. I wanted to die so badly. However, one day, when I was going to school, a woman asked me if I might have gotten lost. I didn't know what to say to her and I simply replied "No". I wasn't grateful at all she asked me for my well-being, but I do now. A few weeks after that, my mother told me that my dad stopped cheating on her and that we were moving back to my country. I was so happy when I heard that, it really fixed my mood. The same day I left, my school-friend texted me and asked where I was, and I told him that I'm in my country now. He said that he was planning to go out and play games with me in his house. His mother expected me to come too, so she cooked a ton of food. I got very happy. I thought that he cared about me. I saw my true friends and they welcomed me, supported me, and we had a lot of fun together. I started reading quotes on the Internet, and "liked" a guy on Facebook named "Daniel Amos". That guy posts a lot of inspirational and optimistic quotes, which helped me see life from a different point of view. In fact, I totally agree with what he writes. Life indeed changes by how you handle it. It's literally all up to you. My mind indeed created obstacles that were not there in the first place. I indeed acted very badly to most people because of my foolness. I indeed had to go through a lot to get where I am now. I indeed didn't always succeed, but it was probably because I didn't learn enough, and I should try it differently next time. Some people walked out of my life but it was probably for the best. All I could do was to feel sorry, and ask myself and the people around me to forgive me and my stupid decisions and mistakes. I forgave myself, and so did the people around me. It took a helluva a lot of time to forgive myself, but it was worth it. I knew what had to be done. I knew I had to change, and turn into a better person for the sake of everyone. And I did. Look at me now. I'm beyond happy. I'm excited all the time. I care about everyone. I'm trying my best not to offend others. If bad things happen, I improvise, work hard to get them fixed and deal with them. I worked hard on what I always wanted and loved, and I'm close to becoming a computer programmer and sound designer. Before, I couldn't care less about what happened to everybody else. I only cared about myself, and thought that nobody else could suffer as much as me. That's because I was stupid back then. Really, really stupid. A lot of people suffer way worse than me, but they're still alive. It's not because they're stronger, smarter or anything like that. It's because they have hope. They don't just give up. They know that things will turn around and everything will go smoothly. I forgave myself for that, and I moved on. Life doesn't stop. If anyone can do this, you can, friend. And I will be honest, it might take a lot of time, but I, and probably other users on the forum, are always here for you. I care for you, and I hope you recover when the right time comes. Please don't hesitate to seek help from us or from a suicide hotline. I would be more than happy to help you. And if you want a friend, I'm always open to new friends. I would love to have you as a friend, you sound like a really good and cool person.
Suicide hotline: 800-784-2433
Oh, and if you're still questioning me about how I do not care about you, well, if I didn't care about you, I wouldn't write this wall of text, am I right?
To finally end this long and sweet message, if your therapist makes you feel bad, you should tell them, never come back, and seek another therapist. Unfortunately or fortunately, not everyone is supposed to stay in your life. Some people walk out of your life for a reason, which is probably for the best. Best of luck to you, and remember, if you need assistance, please contact me via Private Message or on here, I would be more than happy to help you.
Best regards,
Mike
While there's plenty of things about your life and your circumstances you don't have control over, that doesn't mean everything is outside of your control. Constructive ways of thinking about yourself, how you think about problems, the people you associate with-- this is the kind of stuff you can work on that will prepare you to navigate inevitable pains and challenges and prevent the bottom from falling out. A good therapist can offer you tools that work best specifically for you in helping you do that, so I encourage you to stick with it.
I empathize with what you're going through, so I was going to type something lengthier out-- but after looking over all these amazing responses, all I can think to say is that this community is pretty darn cool. If you need a clown, my inbox is also open for business. You'll get through this.
Thank you for saying so.
When you said you had gotten some of the worst news of your life, I thought it must be something medical that you couldn't do anything about, and that you thought that people would shun you for it when they found out. An example would be being told you could never have children, when your belief is that you'd never find a guy to love you if you couldn't produce offspring for him.
Family matters can be tough, but they're always survivable. Well, maybe not if you're part of the royal family, and the rebels who have invaded the castle are determined that none of your bloodline shall remain, but you get what I mean. Maybe some family ties will never be the same again, but you can still push forward and make something of your own life.
When it comes to changing everything without moving to an entirely new city, it helps to just do it. Tell yourself that the Old Hollay would have handled things some way, but you want to handle them differently from now on. Today you are the New Hollay, and you will handle them that way today.
Many others have posted some really good things in this thread. Take them to heart.
A close family member has recently made me feel as if I've been shunned from their life, and it's just a bit of a punch in the gut. So, I'm still trying to figure out how to deal with it, and who exactly is in the right and in the wrong. It's a long story.
Haha, yeah, I was never in the good graces of the nobility of my family. And quite frankly I don't want too if it means I have to think and act like them. :P And the thing is, I placed so much of my value upon what others told me what I was and what I was worth. And now knowing what one of them truly thought about me has definitely changed things. I just wish this wouldn't have happened in the midst of the issues with my friends as well. I just feel so alone.
I am not moving to a new city, or even out of the current one, I just need to reinvent myself from where I am. It's really all about perspective, and how I choose to react to the world now. And your right, the old me's reactions vs. this new me's reactions will reflect that change. Because I won't be stuck in the rut I buried myself.
Thanks again Warp.
Wow, thank you very much for sharing your personal experience with me. I appreciate your heartfelt words.
I'm sorry that you have also gone through some very rough experiences and down times... but I'm very glad to know you've been able to pull yourself out of it and hang on.
I guess when I recovered from this pit of depression/anxiety the first time, I believed that I would never have to face that again. In the end, I came out of it feeling like I had a real support system in my life that I could rely on. But then, when it happened again, they all suddenly go away. Or it feels like it at least. I'm too scared to reach out, too scared to try and end up finding that those people will shun me. And that the person who recently hurt me has chosen other people over her own family...
I've never reached out to the suicide hotline. I'm honestly too scared to, and I never felt as if my life was in danger that badly. What happens if you call them? And I'm also too scared to seek another therapist, I'm scared they might see me back in the office and speaking to another therapist...
Thank you very much for sharing all of that with me. I appreciate the time you took to share your story with me and to let me know what has helped you through those hard times.
It's just weird because they have all been long time friends, and they just seem to ignore me now and it really hurts to know people you love and trust are actively ignoring you. IDK if they were all that good of friends, because I'm not sure if they really were all the great. I mean, we had fun, but, I've never felt like I could call them up at a moments notice. But thank you none the less for taking the time to comment. It's nice (though sad) to know that people go through losing friends often.
I just know myself, if I get too involved in the forums my school work and actual work output will plummet. ;P But I agree, this place is diverse and sometimes divided, but I love this community.
I just hope I can find them soon... And thank you for the kind words.
You mean "Tales from the Borderlands" gives good advice about dealing with existential crisis? ;P
You are such a sweetheart MarijaaNo7... ;A; I'm honestly suprised people have remembered me enough to show any concern. But I really appreciate your kind, supportive, and sweet words as well as kind quirky self.
This is so true. ;A; I judge myself way to harshly, I always have. But not it's gotten to the point where somethings gotta give, and I have to change. And you're right, about everything. About standing on my own two feet and living my life, controlling my emotions and how I react to the things around me.
I also just realized how short and temporary everything is as well this summer, and it's definitely changed my outlook on life, and people, and experiences, etc. But that's good advice you have presented.
I definitely get what you're saying, thank you so much for all your kind words. And I like you too!
I'm really frustrated with social media and how most other people my age get their news and world perspective from Facebook, where most articles are just aiming to get hits and are mostly misleading, biased, or completely false.