Thank you, but I probably won't pull back if it happens again just on principle. You can't just ignore someone on the verge of suicide because you don't want to feel bad, even if it costs you some of your sanity. I was irritable and stressed for a bit but I'm fine now. I can handle it and I'll be mentally prepared for it next time if it does happen again.
I know @MegaXD wouldn't want us to dwell in regret over this, and after this I'll move on with best wishes to her, but I want to discuss this last thing before it's all said and done.
Anyone who has dealt with depression and suicidal thoughts but feels they have overcome them (or at least made them manageable), could you please step forward and share your recovery stories and ways you found helped alleviate those depressive symptoms? Just so anyone in @MegaXD 's shoes can know they aren't alone and that a way out is possible. Thank you.
In all honesty I actually want to see the suicidal succeed more than anyone else. We need more people to understand why that pain is there in the first place and those that experience it usually know it better than anyone.
Much of life follows through a code of balance. Nearly every animal is cut down Humans don't typically adhere to this balance. Their intellect has left them nigh-indestructible, and their end goal is to use that intellect to dominate and flourish is every estate they see. There are those who try to remind humanity of the damages they are causing for the sake of advancement, and we do our best to consider it, but ultimately progress takes a higher priority.
Think of that balance as a line going right through the classes of civilization. The people who've only known the top and the pursuit of success rarely appreciate this line. It's just another lesser amount to them; they consume and accumulate as much as they can because they fear having to drop low enough to reach it. After they forego it there is no other limit to them aside from their own physical and mental limitations. There's no guarantee that those at the bottom will appreciate it either but at least there's a better chance that they'll understand why it's there, especially after seeing the destruction left by those that don't.
It's a terrible world we live in, but pain exists for a reason. If it didn't exist then we would eventually destroy ourselves doing whatever we please. Pain that arises from empathy and dissatisfaction with the system works similarly. If we we didn't appreciate how our actions and the systems we made have harmed the people and the environment around us what's stopping us from doing whatever we want?
My dream is to see the one's dealing with suicidal thoughts embrace the humility their depression has left and take a stand against the injustice and corruption in the world that left those wounds to begin with. I want to envision a world where the human civilization surrounding that line is flipped on it's head, so the underdogs can call the shots and use the anguish they felt to redefine the world. I see, in every person dealing with suicide, an advocate for justice against an unfair world, and I want more than anything for them to get their way and fight against the corrupt systems that brought them to that point.
I wish all of you struggling with depression can find it in yourselves to conquer your own mind, and then conquer those who'd rather leave you in that state for the sake of their own plans. I'm rooting for you guys
If @MegaXD wasn't despairing when she wrote that, I know she wouldn't have wanted you to feel this way. You have personal experience with suicide in your family, so it's understandable that something like this would stress you out so much.
I know It's easier said than done, but it's okay to let go of your grief, it doesn't mean you're letting go of her. You've went above and beyond trying to make up for what happened, and you deserve nothing but respect for that. We didn't fail her, our paths in life didn't entail us to stop her because we just didn't know enough to stop it, and there is no reality where we could've known because there is only one that is absolute. 'What ifs' aren't reality because reality doesn't bend to our wants or theoretics if it wasn't meant to, and when it comes to the past they never will be. The only 'what if' that matters is that if you did know, you would work harder than anyone trying to stop her, and if she went through with it anyways that would be her choice, not your failing.
You're not wrong to feel this way because you were still mourning your brother when this happened, but it's only harming you when there's nothing more to do. I know you feel like you deserve it for not being able to save her, but it's only the grief making you feel that way. You don't deserve it, you deserve better than all this anxiety.
I know you can get through this, and I want to see you get through this. I'm wishing nothing but the best for you just as much as I am the same for her family
I actually don't like journaling that much. It's a good writing practice but I hate staring back at my unfiltered thoughts. It's like staring at the abyss of you mind and having it stare back at you. It feels weird giving your thoughts a presence like that after being locked away in your mind for so long.
I like places like these better as a means of putting your thoughts into the world. You're not pressured to put yourself on the spot and respond like in a when getting one-on-one support or those support groups, so you can take your time finding the right words, but unlike journals you also get to be open to new perspectives on what you're going through so it doesn't feel like you're talking to yourself through writing (at least for me). You can't express yourself as freely but that's okay; sometimes you need a reminder as to why it's important to cut down some of the thoughts growing in the garden of your mind. Not even because they're bad exactly; I believe if you're so worried if others won't like them odds are you don't really like them deep down either. That goes for the tone of your thoughts too. I constantly get the feeling I'm going to irritate someone when I share personal stuff like this just because of the tone I write it in, if I haven't already. Everyone on my Dad's side of the family is pretty abrasive and either don't notice or don't care when they're tone upsets everyone around them lol (they're great people and I love all of them, they're just very pushy) and I know I picked up more of that than I'd like. Ultimately though I think I'd post here even if my opinions got me scorn from some or even most of the users here. I like this thread and want to see it live up to it's purpose. Ultimately you have to say "screw the detractors" if you want to encourage others to do it too.
Suicide is not a bad moment it takes years of enduring trauma and abuse to get that point to believe life is not worth living and there is no hope.
If this girl is gone, no one here could of saved her, no post would of done anything she logged out a minute after posting, this girl was determined.
You can't live in a person head to know how hard life is for them on a daily basis reading a text box response is nice for the users to want to help to get some closure but when a person is determined is near impossible to stop.
I had many friends commit suicide.
This girl life was pain do you think that's what she wants her legacy to be here.
She posted that on this forum if that's her last message she must of really loved you guys to feel the need to use this forum to seek help.
Life is worth living it's a lot a pain but just for those short magic happy moments when things come together or you help someone you care about that is the priceless for me worth enduring for.
Do you know chance of you being born with all the variables is 1 in 400 trillion even at the core of your existence do you know the miracle you are?
My point is nothing anyone could of done here in these circumstances, but what everyone done I read the posts is really beautiful thing she had a lot of people that cared for her.
no post would of done anything she logged out a minute after posting, this girl was determined.
This is the only part that irks me honestly,
Not to attack @MegaXD but the one thing I hope people take from this is that it's your decision, and your life, but it's important to be mindful of how others who don't know you personally will react and what they're going through. Suicide is one of the most unsettling tragedies because it's so common and one of the most personal kinds of losses to loved ones bereaving the victim. Even if they don't know you, hearing or reading of something like this can bring back traumatic memories to those who lost their own close ones to suicide, which happened to at least one person here because of this. I'm glad she cared about us enough to tell us before she attempted but we always have to be as considerate of other people as we can when discussing serious plans like that. I know she was in a bad state of mind at the time though so I'm not mad at her or anything.
Suicide is not a bad moment it takes years of enduring trauma and abuse to get that point to believe life is not worth living and there is n… moreo hope.
If this girl is gone, no one here could of saved her, no post would of done anything she logged out a minute after posting, this girl was determined.
You can't live in a person head to know how hard life is for them on a daily basis reading a text box response is nice for the users to want to help to get some closure but when a person is determined is near impossible to stop.
I had many friends commit suicide.
This girl life was pain do you think that's what she wants her legacy to be here.
She posted that on this forum if that's her last message she must of really loved you guys to feel the need to use this forum to seek help.
Life is worth living it's a lot a pain but just for those short magic happy moments when things come together or you help someone you care about that is the … [view original content]
Okay, so today's the day where I finally got my bottom braces.
That's right! Full house, baby! Top and bottom!
Oh yeah! (oh no)
Overall, it's fine. I can still talk just fine, so that's good. I got used to the top, I can get used to the bottom... All in due time.
--It just sucks that this is how problems must be solved. Rods and springs and anchors and hooks... Why must physics hurt me so much? The one good thing is that hopefully, this straightens things out in my life (literally) and I'll feel so free once they're gone. But that'll probably be in like a year. Maybe more. Probably 2 at most is my prediction. Grrreat.
Edit: is this even suitable for the help/vent thread? seems so small and petty and useless.
Okay, so today's the day where I finally got my bottom braces.
That's right! Full house, baby! Top and bottom!
Oh yeah! (oh no)
Overal… morel, it's fine. I can still talk just fine, so that's good. I got used to the top, I can get used to the bottom... All in due time.
--It just sucks that this is how problems must be solved. Rods and springs and anchors and hooks... Why must physics hurt me so much? The one good thing is that hopefully, this straightens things out in my life (literally) and I'll feel so free once they're gone. But that'll probably be in like a year. Maybe more. Probably 2 at most is my prediction. Grrreat.
Edit: is this even suitable for the help/vent thread? seems so small and petty and useless.
Hey @Cocoa2736 and @WarpSpeed (And you too, @AChicken; I feel a little better that I'm not the only one my age that feels that way), I just want to thank you for sharing your input in response my dumb question 2 weeks ago (Which, considering what's happened in that short amount of time, you all probably have no idea what I'm talking about right now ). I really didn't mean to ignore them and I intended to reply back then but I had something come up that took all of my time. By the time I was done with that, I forgot about that question (and what the purpose of existence was). So yeah, better later than never, amirite guys?
I feel as though I've gone through a ton of epiphanies just in this past month. I used to think there were so many chains holding me back fr… moreom what I wanted to be but I've recently realized that in reality there really was only one: I cared too much about what other people think that I repressed my true self trying to appease them. I thought respect was something that always had to be reached for no matter from whom it was from, and ironically it left me feeling even more alienated from what others wanted.
And that's not to say how you feel isn't worth considering. Life is the most precious substance in the universe, and your feelings should always be considered sacred, but respect? It's just another tool. It's only good for influencing people to do what you want, and that's all well and good, but I want to believe humanity is worth more than that. As a kid I was conditioned to lie to live up to other people's standards, but you get so cau… [view original content]
I believe that everything happens when fate demands it to, but even then, I have to accept that I'm just stalling at this point
It's like making a leap into the unknown. You can ready yourself all you like but if you never accept that it doesn't matter whether or not you like what awaits you out there, you'll never get that push to do it. I feel like I'm stuck on the border almost; I know I'm this close to starting the next act in my life but it stresses me out too much knowing if I take that last step I might not ever be able to come back. I've fell into a state of inertia through my own doubt and worry. Maybe that's just part of the transition, like when a rollercoaster hits a peak on the tracks and there's a brief standstill looking down at the slope before it comes crashing down, but I can't stay here and I've come too far to turn back.
I wish there was more context I could give when sharing things like that, but personal details just lose too much of their impact when you're not the one experiencing them unfortunately. Still, maybe some of you can relate in your own way
If I remember it right, I didn't think it was a dumb question at all. You don't owe anyone a reply for things like that in this thread, or even a thank you really. I'm glad we could help you out a bit though and it was no problem
Hey @Cocoa2736 and @WarpSpeed (And you too, @AChicken; I feel a little better that I'm not the only one my age that feels that way), I just … morewant to thank you for sharing your input in response my dumb question 2 weeks ago (Which, considering what's happened in that short amount of time, you all probably have no idea what I'm talking about right now ). I really didn't mean to ignore them and I intended to reply back then but I had something come up that took all of my time. By the time I was done with that, I forgot about that question (and what the purpose of existence was). So yeah, better later than never, amirite guys?
Greetings forum viewers. I have a confession to make so I'll cut to the point like I usually do.
First, this is going to be a long one so bear with me.
It's about Yu-Gi-Oh, I saw the dubbed anime years ago, and when the Duel Monsters card game graced America, I was in awe. The artwork of the cards and the creatures, were beyond imagination. I became hooked immediately. But as time went on, my fascination soon became obsession. I wanted my own super awesome deck that would possibly rival anyones from the anime. And with the anime in topic, the more and more I watched, the more and more I became bored with the heroics and the long winded dialogue and sappy speeches. Soon, I would check the net, for future episode synopsis and hope one of the heroes (especially Yuki) would fail. And overtime him, Joey or one of the other leads won, the more I became angry and detested them.
I went through dollar after dollar of pack after pack trying to create the "one deck". Unfortunately, I was consumed with a lust for power, I couldn't see, until my Ma staged an intervention. And glad I did, I had to stop. By the time The Lost Millennium series came out, I knew I had to face facts and realize the math of how card collecting went. I don't know how much I spent, maybe high hundreds of dollars on packs. Now I feel like a complete fool. And with the anime, I realized the dubbed version was translated from Japan which means the series history has run it's course. All and all, it was folly.
I donated all the cards I had and the incomplete deck and renounced the franchise. It's funny, for most people with problems it's either alcohol or narcotics, me it was YuGiOh cards.
From 2002-2005.
Yet, somehow deep down inside of me, I still wanted to make my own deck, even though I avoided the game like the plague. I wanted one, of my own creation with no connection to anyones in the anime. When Series 9 began with Duelist Alliance, it started up again. But I saw the game had changed, but every-time I tried to start plans for a fantasy deck just for fun, a part of me slaps my mind and I ask "What the hell am I doing?".
I just don't know what. I swore I renounced this game, but it keeps calling me back. I fear it will do what it did before, I will think of nothing else, and waste my precious time trying to perfect a deck.
But the game these days is quick play and getting the best cards for a quick win. The simplest joys of playing I feel don't exist.
Me, a 33 year old man obsessed with a child's card game. And can't seem to bury it.
I just bore one of my darkest shames to all on this forum. I ask for anything support, advice anything at all. What do I do? I just don't know.
There are people who spend several hundreds of dollars on sneakers that will get worn out and thrown away. There's nothing wrong with what you're doing so long as it doesn't get in the way of the things you need to do.
a 33 year old man obsessed with a child's card game
So? I'm not big on Yu-gi-oh or any other card game, but I've had my obsessions here and there. I think you're fine.
Greetings forum viewers. I have a confession to make so I'll cut to the point like I usually do.
First, this is going to be a long one so … morebear with me.
It's about Yu-Gi-Oh, I saw the dubbed anime years ago, and when the Duel Monsters card game graced America, I was in awe. The artwork of the cards and the creatures, were beyond imagination. I became hooked immediately. But as time went on, my fascination soon became obsession. I wanted my own super awesome deck that would possibly rival anyones from the anime. And with the anime in topic, the more and more I watched, the more and more I became bored with the heroics and the long winded dialogue and sappy speeches. Soon, I would check the net, for future episode synopsis and hope one of the heroes (especially Yuki) would fail. And overtime him, Joey or one of the other leads won, the more I became angry and detested them.
I went through dollar after dollar of pack after pack tryin… [view original content]
There's nothing wrong with what you're doing so long as it doesn't get in the way of the things you need to do.
I know that much. But I haven't bought a pack in years. And I want to pick cards and form a list, just for completion's sake. But if I do, what then. I hold on to it for years, which I don't look at it for the foreseeable future?
There are people who spend several hundreds of dollars on sneakers that will get worn out and thrown away. There's nothing wrong with what y… moreou're doing so long as it doesn't get in the way of the things you need to do.
a 33 year old man obsessed with a child's card game
So? I'm not big on Yu-gi-oh or any other card game, but I've had my obsessions here and there. I think you're fine.
I like to think that crying is a sign of strength/weakness, and holding back tears is also sign of strength/weakness . By crying, one is strong enough to express that kind of emotion and how they feel, but also gives the impression you can be broken. Holding back tears is a sign of strength because it means you're too strong to be broken, but also shows you're too weak to express grief.
Of course, I've had many moments where I felt like "yeah, this is something that's more than enough to make me cry" but I've never actually let any tears out, not in the past 4 years anyway. Idk, it's like they just won't come out. Once when I was all up in my feelings, I tried to see if I could get the waterworks going, but I couldn't. Maybe I just don't care enough about things to cry, idk.
True strength is being unafraid to show your true self in spite of how others expect you to act. Any man can be broken, whether they show it through tears makes no difference, and crying is a normal and healthy part of human nature that's nothing to be ashamed of. It's basically an invitation for support, which doesn't make you weak for giving it because humans are social animals and no man is an island. It's a matter of emotional fortitude and keeping your feelings in balance. Any emotion is unhealthy (or weak) in excess, even happiness (i.e. mania), because it shows some degree of instability. Sadness is important for identifying major problems and crying is a good way to get someone's attention for advice and a new perspective on your issue; like any emotion it just needs to be regulated well. Calling someone weak for crying every once in a while is the same as calling someone a rude jerk for losing their temper every now and then. It happens and it's natural. Emotional mindfulness is just something that has to be built up, like your intelligence or your physique, and sometimes crying is essential to maintaining that balance of your emotional state.
I like to think that crying is a sign of strength/weakness, and holding back tears is also sign of strength/weakness . By crying, one is str… moreong enough to express that kind of emotion and how they feel, but also gives the impression you can be broken. Holding back tears is a sign of strength because it means you're too strong to be broken, but also shows you're too weak to express grief.
Of course, I've had many moments where I felt like "yeah, this is something that's more than enough to make me cry" but I've never actually let any tears out, not in the past 4 years anyway. Idk, it's like they just won't come out. Once when I was all up in my feelings, I tried to see if I could get the waterworks going, but I couldn't. Maybe I just don't care enough about things to cry, idk.
Hey, is it weird to miss my siblings a lot? To miss the relationship we had? To miss spending time with them? They were and are my only friends... and I feel lost without them. Is that strange?
I'm convinced that having my siblings has taught me how to love people. No matter how hard things got, I felt like we could always find something to laugh about... and it always made things bearable and worth living for. It was like we had our own language. I don't think there's anyone else that is as awesome as them.
I find it difficult to find anyone that relates to me in this way.
Hell no. Without my older sister, I'd be so lost. We have a pretty close relationship a lot of siblings don't have. For you to "miss" them means they're not with you anymore right? I mean In the sense that they've moved elsewhere
Hey, is it weird to miss my siblings a lot? To miss the relationship we had? To miss spending time with them? They were and are my only frie… morends... and I feel lost without them. Is that strange?
I'm convinced that having my siblings has taught me how to love people. No matter how hard things got, I felt like we could always find something to laugh about... and it always made things bearable and worth living for. It was like we had our own language. I don't think there's anyone else that is as awesome as them.
I find it difficult to find anyone that relates to me in this way.
They're family, and they're suppose to be the first friends you have so you can start to learn how to socialize with people outside of your family, so it's safe to say anyone who tells you it's weird to miss the good times you had with your siblings with a straight face is either envious of your good relationship with them, never had siblings or is a soulless nutcase lol
If you still have a good relationship with them you can always try to call them when they're not busy. If they aren't there's no reason why they wouldn't answer.
We all feel lost to some degree as young adults. It's great to finally feel free from that leash but then once you do you realize that freedom has it's own price of overwhelming unpredictability, and that includes the freedom of those you grew up with. I'd say it's better to cherish the fact that you were lucky to have that many good memories with your siblings than it is to feel sad that it couldn't stay that way. They do still love you even if growing up has caused tension and drifting apart.
Hey, is it weird to miss my siblings a lot? To miss the relationship we had? To miss spending time with them? They were and are my only frie… morends... and I feel lost without them. Is that strange?
I'm convinced that having my siblings has taught me how to love people. No matter how hard things got, I felt like we could always find something to laugh about... and it always made things bearable and worth living for. It was like we had our own language. I don't think there's anyone else that is as awesome as them.
I find it difficult to find anyone that relates to me in this way.
thanks to everyone from the bottom of my heart for the beautiful messages you sent to my sister. I’m @MegaXD ‘s brother and I knew she had an account here because she loved Telltale Games, today is the first time I’m checking it out and I saw her last post. I’m not going to tell details, just came here to thank everyone, and PLEASE don’t feel guilty, there’s nothing you could do that would change her mind.
have a wonderful life
Thank you for the update, she was a great part of this community and I'm not just saying that. Several of us were hoping to see some kind of heads up that she was okay, to the point that (as far as I know) one user deleted their account because they cared about your sister probably the most out of anyone here and coming here became too painful for them (that's not your sister's fault though). I'm sorry for everything you've had to go through this past month and I'm wishing the best for you and your family. If she's okay and ever feels up to coming back I know lots of people here would be ecstatic and give her the warmest welcome possible.
Thank you and you and your family have a wonderful life too, you deserve it more than us right now
thanks to everyone from the bottom of my heart for the beautiful messages you sent to my sister. I’m @MegaXD ‘s brother and I knew she had a… moren account here because she loved Telltale Games, today is the first time I’m checking it out and I saw her last post. I’m not going to tell details, just came here to thank everyone, and PLEASE don’t feel guilty, there’s nothing you could do that would change her mind.
have a wonderful life
thanks to everyone from the bottom of my heart for the beautiful messages you sent to my sister. I’m @MegaXD ‘s brother and I knew she had a… moren account here because she loved Telltale Games, today is the first time I’m checking it out and I saw her last post. I’m not going to tell details, just came here to thank everyone, and PLEASE don’t feel guilty, there’s nothing you could do that would change her mind.
have a wonderful life
thanks to everyone from the bottom of my heart for the beautiful messages you sent to my sister. I’m @MegaXD ‘s brother and I knew she had a… moren account here because she loved Telltale Games, today is the first time I’m checking it out and I saw her last post. I’m not going to tell details, just came here to thank everyone, and PLEASE don’t feel guilty, there’s nothing you could do that would change her mind.
have a wonderful life
thanks to everyone from the bottom of my heart for the beautiful messages you sent to my sister. I’m @MegaXD ‘s brother and I knew she had a… moren account here because she loved Telltale Games, today is the first time I’m checking it out and I saw her last post. I’m not going to tell details, just came here to thank everyone, and PLEASE don’t feel guilty, there’s nothing you could do that would change her mind.
have a wonderful life
I never had to go through braces but I heard that they kinda suck (having them put in and not being able to eat de candies) congrats though, hope it doesn’t suck as much as I’ve been told ?
Okay, so today's the day where I finally got my bottom braces.
That's right! Full house, baby! Top and bottom!
Oh yeah! (oh no)
Overal… morel, it's fine. I can still talk just fine, so that's good. I got used to the top, I can get used to the bottom... All in due time.
--It just sucks that this is how problems must be solved. Rods and springs and anchors and hooks... Why must physics hurt me so much? The one good thing is that hopefully, this straightens things out in my life (literally) and I'll feel so free once they're gone. But that'll probably be in like a year. Maybe more. Probably 2 at most is my prediction. Grrreat.
Edit: is this even suitable for the help/vent thread? seems so small and petty and useless.
Idk wth my obsession with Ultra Instinct is, but ever since Goku started using it in his fights against Jiren/Kefla, I just can't get it out of my mind! Ffs, look at my fucking profile picture
thanks to everyone from the bottom of my heart for the beautiful messages you sent to my sister. I’m @MegaXD ‘s brother and I knew she had a… moren account here because she loved Telltale Games, today is the first time I’m checking it out and I saw her last post. I’m not going to tell details, just came here to thank everyone, and PLEASE don’t feel guilty, there’s nothing you could do that would change her mind.
have a wonderful life
I appreciate you taking the time and energy to provide us with an update; I know that it mustn't of been easy to write.
I know how hard and painful it is; I'm very close to my sister too, and although our separation isn't permanent, I completely understand what it's like to miss her. I can imagine how devastating it must be. I have a lot of empathy and respect for you; you have amazing strength to have written the beautiful post that you did during this difficult time. That would've been quite emotional reading all the feedback from the forum members.
If you need someone to talk to, I'm open, or if you want a place to vent, you're welcome here. There's quite a few caring and supportive people here.
I hope the best for you and your family. @MegaXD is an amazing person; she made an incredible impact on more people than she realized, and she made a wonderful contribution to this community.
thanks to everyone from the bottom of my heart for the beautiful messages you sent to my sister. I’m @MegaXD ‘s brother and I knew she had a… moren account here because she loved Telltale Games, today is the first time I’m checking it out and I saw her last post. I’m not going to tell details, just came here to thank everyone, and PLEASE don’t feel guilty, there’s nothing you could do that would change her mind.
have a wonderful life
Well my best friend decided to be a pretty big cunt a few days ago, now I'm kinda doing the whole silent treatment thing. Basically I had brought up a sensitive subject and asked him to respect it, to which he agreed, but proceeded to delve further into the subject with barely any regard. Wording a question about said subject in a very disrespectful way. I love him like he's my brother, but he can be a real douchebag sometimes and I've just been wondering to myself if this was the last straw. I don't want it to be, but he hasn't said anything to me since. Not even sorry, really. Not sure if he's unaware that it affected me that much or just doesn't care. I'd like to think the former. I told myself to give it a week and if he doesn't say anything by then, then to cut ties, maybe he doesn't value our friendship the same as I do.
Candies are fine. If we're being serious here, any kind of food will somehow get stuck in your mouth somewhere, so that's pretty annoying.
One thing I have vetoed from my consumption is (unfortunately) popcorn. If it's bad without braces, then with them on you'll get every single one of them stuck in your mouth.
I never had to go through braces but I heard that they kinda suck (having them put in and not being able to eat de candies) congrats though, hope it doesn’t suck as much as I’ve been told ?
Candies are fine. If we're being serious here, any kind of food will somehow get stuck in your mouth somewhere, so that's pretty annoying.
… more One thing I have vetoed from my consumption is (unfortunately) popcorn. If it's bad without braces, then with them on you'll get every single one of them stuck in your mouth.
Sounds a lot like my best friend, right down to him saying I'm like a brother to him. He'd say really hurtful things because he had no filter (or any self-control/ anger management really) so I'd give him the silent treatment and eventually he'd apologize.
You just have to remember that friends like that aren't acting that way to spite you (and if you feel like they are then yes drop them), they're just inept at interpersonal skills in certain ways. I'm not assuming your friend's family history or anything but abusive or neglectful parents can really skew your understanding of healthy boundaries and social norms like that. If he's like my friend then he probably knows how shitty he is but doesn't know how to correct that, or he doesn't want to admit how terribly he's acting because he's been trying to play the tough guy to compensate for his fractured ego and admitting that would cause his facade to unravel completely in his eyes. I don't know your friend though, and whether understanding why he acts like that makes salvaging the friendship worth it is up to you, and there's nothing wrong with cutting ties. I'm sure he values your friendship but doesn't have enough emotional intelligence or tactfulness to help support it, but you know him better than I do and even if you think I might understand how he acts you still have the right to judge if those flaws are worth looking past.
Well my best friend decided to be a pretty big cunt a few days ago, now I'm kinda doing the whole silent treatment thing. Basically I had br… moreought up a sensitive subject and asked him to respect it, to which he agreed, but proceeded to delve further into the subject with barely any regard. Wording a question about said subject in a very disrespectful way. I love him like he's my brother, but he can be a real douchebag sometimes and I've just been wondering to myself if this was the last straw. I don't want it to be, but he hasn't said anything to me since. Not even sorry, really. Not sure if he's unaware that it affected me that much or just doesn't care. I'd like to think the former. I told myself to give it a week and if he doesn't say anything by then, then to cut ties, maybe he doesn't value our friendship the same as I do.
It's weird to think that you're most likely the bad guy in someone else's story, possibly even the villain, just for being true to yourself. We all know we'll end up doing something to hurt someone else at some point, either intentionally or not, because pain is inevitable. Despite that we still feel like the protagonist with well-rounded motives, even if they're not exactly virtuous, and while we can still care about those people, they are just side characters who unfortunately get in the way of our goals or feelings sometimes.
Because of that, it's a bit disconcerting when you project yourself out and see just how corrupt, oppressive or even malevolent your actions appear to be from the outside when it, even if you committed them sadistically, partly because it shows just how far you've fallen and that from the outside your actions and words don't have any special justification to them. Sometimes even just sticking to the status quo or giving an honest answer will turn people against you when you meant them no harm; life doesn't care if we collide with other's ambitions or not because a story demands conflict.
That causes a dilemma: Do you strive towards assuming the image in an attempt to keep the peace, or do you seek to fulfill your own spirit? There's nothing wrong with being the antagonist in another story as long as you stayed true to yourself, life made you who you are and there's no shame in that. No one can ultimately judge your character since they can't see all sides of you, even if you try to show them. The world doesn't bend to morality; when you try to shift it into black and white all it does is melt and mix into grey, all we can do is determine which shades constitute as light enough.
I never mean to say I know how the world works with pieces like this one. I know I have a flawed view of how the world works and a flawed way of expressing it. I like to be persuaded towards another point of view, though I know you can't expect that to go respectfully since many people are so strongly convicted in their worldviews, myself included lol take care
My happiness is not happiness... it's mania. It makes me oblivious to every other emotion. It makes me unreceptive of other people's emotions. It makes me a distracted and annoying person. It's not healthy. But I keep trying to distract myself from myself... because I'm afraid. I'm afraid of falling back into that dark frame of mind... I'm afraid of feeling numb and detached again...
Yesterday, I got the most angry I have been in years.
So, I was at customer service getting alot of people lottery tickets for people and one guy gives me a stampcard for $9 of lottery. I processed the cards and ring it up and he says that it was supposed to be $12. I told him that the stamps only show up as $9 and there was nothing I could do to make it read differently, but he dismissed it with this very irritated expression. I don't know if it was because I hadn't got enough sleep for a few days or the thoughts I've been having recently. But this time, I wasn't able to shrug it off.
I got so mad I wasn't able hide my frustration visably. My vision went fuzzy, I could feel my face crinkle up till my teeth were bearing, I began to shake violently, and I was wasn't able to speak. All I could do to stop myself from screaming at him was to clench my teeth and let out a growl. The guy didn't say a word and just left. I continued working after they left, but I felt a bit shaky for an hour after that.
I.. I didn't have much control over myself. If I wasn't behind the desk, I probably would've been leaving that store in handcuffs. In my 3 years of working there as a cashier/serviceclerk, I had never gotten that angry. But I've only been working at customer service for two weeks and..
It didn't seem like a bad idea when I started and I thought it would be easier by working there since it would make the time pass by quicker by keeping me busy. I never thought that it would get to me like this. I should tell them what happened and step down from my position before this has a chance of happening again.
the best thing you cand do is just let it go ive had customers like that whilst on my own at night threatening to come back once we have opened the doors and attack me(i work at a fuel station that has a serving hatch forvwhen on our own) ive had to call the police once but just remember he most likely wont come back
Yesterday, I got the most angry I have been in years.
So, I was at customer service getting alot of people lottery tickets for people and… more one guy gives me a stampcard for $9 of lottery. I processed the cards and ring it up and he says that it was supposed to be $12. I told him that the stamps only show up as $9 and there was nothing I could do to make it read differently, but he dismissed it with this very irritated expression. I don't know if it was because I hadn't got enough sleep for a few days or the thoughts I've been having recently. But this time, I wasn't able to shrug it off.
I got so mad I wasn't able hide my frustration visably. My vision went fuzzy, I could feel my face crinkle up till my teeth were bearing, I began to shake violently, and I was wasn't able to speak. All I could do to stop myself from screaming at him was to clench my teeth and let out a growl. The guy didn't say a word and just left. I continued working af… [view original content]
I try to be as nice as possible to cashiers or waiters. I've always worked union construction but I know what it's like dealing with someone you couldn't find a hammer big enough to pound some sense into. I've been at restaurants; and the way I've seen some people talk to these waiters it was hard for me to keep my composure.
Yesterday, I got the most angry I have been in years.
So, I was at customer service getting alot of people lottery tickets for people and… more one guy gives me a stampcard for $9 of lottery. I processed the cards and ring it up and he says that it was supposed to be $12. I told him that the stamps only show up as $9 and there was nothing I could do to make it read differently, but he dismissed it with this very irritated expression. I don't know if it was because I hadn't got enough sleep for a few days or the thoughts I've been having recently. But this time, I wasn't able to shrug it off.
I got so mad I wasn't able hide my frustration visably. My vision went fuzzy, I could feel my face crinkle up till my teeth were bearing, I began to shake violently, and I was wasn't able to speak. All I could do to stop myself from screaming at him was to clench my teeth and let out a growl. The guy didn't say a word and just left. I continued working af… [view original content]
A good way to release stress and have fun is to get two pairs of boxing gloves, and challenge your friends to a fight. Keep in mind it's not the safest way; I've knocked out my lil brother years back when we use to do this. It was kind of an accident because I was trying to take it easy on him. Think he was 14 and I was 16 at the time; it was fun tho.
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Thank you, but I probably won't pull back if it happens again just on principle. You can't just ignore someone on the verge of suicide because you don't want to feel bad, even if it costs you some of your sanity. I was irritable and stressed for a bit but I'm fine now. I can handle it and I'll be mentally prepared for it next time if it does happen again.
I know @MegaXD wouldn't want us to dwell in regret over this, and after this I'll move on with best wishes to her, but I want to discuss this last thing before it's all said and done.
Anyone who has dealt with depression and suicidal thoughts but feels they have overcome them (or at least made them manageable), could you please step forward and share your recovery stories and ways you found helped alleviate those depressive symptoms? Just so anyone in @MegaXD 's shoes can know they aren't alone and that a way out is possible. Thank you.
In all honesty I actually want to see the suicidal succeed more than anyone else. We need more people to understand why that pain is there in the first place and those that experience it usually know it better than anyone.
Much of life follows through a code of balance. Nearly every animal is cut down Humans don't typically adhere to this balance. Their intellect has left them nigh-indestructible, and their end goal is to use that intellect to dominate and flourish is every estate they see. There are those who try to remind humanity of the damages they are causing for the sake of advancement, and we do our best to consider it, but ultimately progress takes a higher priority.
Think of that balance as a line going right through the classes of civilization. The people who've only known the top and the pursuit of success rarely appreciate this line. It's just another lesser amount to them; they consume and accumulate as much as they can because they fear having to drop low enough to reach it. After they forego it there is no other limit to them aside from their own physical and mental limitations. There's no guarantee that those at the bottom will appreciate it either but at least there's a better chance that they'll understand why it's there, especially after seeing the destruction left by those that don't.
It's a terrible world we live in, but pain exists for a reason. If it didn't exist then we would eventually destroy ourselves doing whatever we please. Pain that arises from empathy and dissatisfaction with the system works similarly. If we we didn't appreciate how our actions and the systems we made have harmed the people and the environment around us what's stopping us from doing whatever we want?
My dream is to see the one's dealing with suicidal thoughts embrace the humility their depression has left and take a stand against the injustice and corruption in the world that left those wounds to begin with. I want to envision a world where the human civilization surrounding that line is flipped on it's head, so the underdogs can call the shots and use the anguish they felt to redefine the world. I see, in every person dealing with suicide, an advocate for justice against an unfair world, and I want more than anything for them to get their way and fight against the corrupt systems that brought them to that point.
I wish all of you struggling with depression can find it in yourselves to conquer your own mind, and then conquer those who'd rather leave you in that state for the sake of their own plans. I'm rooting for you guys
If @MegaXD wasn't despairing when she wrote that, I know she wouldn't have wanted you to feel this way. You have personal experience with suicide in your family, so it's understandable that something like this would stress you out so much.
I know It's easier said than done, but it's okay to let go of your grief, it doesn't mean you're letting go of her. You've went above and beyond trying to make up for what happened, and you deserve nothing but respect for that. We didn't fail her, our paths in life didn't entail us to stop her because we just didn't know enough to stop it, and there is no reality where we could've known because there is only one that is absolute. 'What ifs' aren't reality because reality doesn't bend to our wants or theoretics if it wasn't meant to, and when it comes to the past they never will be. The only 'what if' that matters is that if you did know, you would work harder than anyone trying to stop her, and if she went through with it anyways that would be her choice, not your failing.
You're not wrong to feel this way because you were still mourning your brother when this happened, but it's only harming you when there's nothing more to do. I know you feel like you deserve it for not being able to save her, but it's only the grief making you feel that way. You don't deserve it, you deserve better than all this anxiety.
I know you can get through this, and I want to see you get through this. I'm wishing nothing but the best for you just as much as I am the same for her family
I actually don't like journaling that much. It's a good writing practice but I hate staring back at my unfiltered thoughts. It's like staring at the abyss of you mind and having it stare back at you. It feels weird giving your thoughts a presence like that after being locked away in your mind for so long.
I like places like these better as a means of putting your thoughts into the world. You're not pressured to put yourself on the spot and respond like in a when getting one-on-one support or those support groups, so you can take your time finding the right words, but unlike journals you also get to be open to new perspectives on what you're going through so it doesn't feel like you're talking to yourself through writing (at least for me). You can't express yourself as freely but that's okay; sometimes you need a reminder as to why it's important to cut down some of the thoughts growing in the garden of your mind. Not even because they're bad exactly; I believe if you're so worried if others won't like them odds are you don't really like them deep down either. That goes for the tone of your thoughts too. I constantly get the feeling I'm going to irritate someone when I share personal stuff like this just because of the tone I write it in, if I haven't already. Everyone on my Dad's side of the family is pretty abrasive and either don't notice or don't care when they're tone upsets everyone around them lol (they're great people and I love all of them, they're just very pushy) and I know I picked up more of that than I'd like. Ultimately though I think I'd post here even if my opinions got me scorn from some or even most of the users here. I like this thread and want to see it live up to it's purpose. Ultimately you have to say "screw the detractors" if you want to encourage others to do it too.
Take care guys
Suicide is not a bad moment it takes years of enduring trauma and abuse to get that point to believe life is not worth living and there is no hope.
If this girl is gone, no one here could of saved her, no post would of done anything she logged out a minute after posting, this girl was determined.
You can't live in a person head to know how hard life is for them on a daily basis reading a text box response is nice for the users to want to help to get some closure but when a person is determined is near impossible to stop.
I had many friends commit suicide.
This girl life was pain do you think that's what she wants her legacy to be here.
She posted that on this forum if that's her last message she must of really loved you guys to feel the need to use this forum to seek help.
Life is worth living it's a lot a pain but just for those short magic happy moments when things come together or you help someone you care about that is the priceless for me worth enduring for.
Do you know chance of you being born with all the variables is 1 in 400 trillion even at the core of your existence do you know the miracle you are?
My point is nothing anyone could of done here in these circumstances, but what everyone done I read the posts is really beautiful thing she had a lot of people that cared for her.
This is the only part that irks me honestly,
Not to attack @MegaXD but the one thing I hope people take from this is that it's your decision, and your life, but it's important to be mindful of how others who don't know you personally will react and what they're going through. Suicide is one of the most unsettling tragedies because it's so common and one of the most personal kinds of losses to loved ones bereaving the victim. Even if they don't know you, hearing or reading of something like this can bring back traumatic memories to those who lost their own close ones to suicide, which happened to at least one person here because of this. I'm glad she cared about us enough to tell us before she attempted but we always have to be as considerate of other people as we can when discussing serious plans like that. I know she was in a bad state of mind at the time though so I'm not mad at her or anything.
Okay, so today's the day where I finally got my bottom braces.
That's right! Full house, baby! Top and bottom!
Oh yeah! (oh no)
Overall, it's fine. I can still talk just fine, so that's good. I got used to the top, I can get used to the bottom... All in due time.
--It just sucks that this is how problems must be solved. Rods and springs and anchors and hooks... Why must physics hurt me so much? The one good thing is that hopefully, this straightens things out in my life (literally) and I'll feel so free once they're gone. But that'll probably be in like a year. Maybe more. Probably 2 at most is my prediction. Grrreat.
Edit: is this even suitable for the help/vent thread? seems so small and petty and useless.
It's fine, you can vent about little things, too. Personally, I just preferred to have crooked teeth my whole life rather than go through braces.
Hey @Cocoa2736 and @WarpSpeed (And you too, @AChicken; I feel a little better that I'm not the only one my age that feels that way), I just want to thank you for sharing your input in response my dumb question 2 weeks ago (Which, considering what's happened in that short amount of time, you all probably have no idea what I'm talking about right now
). I really didn't mean to ignore them and I intended to reply back then but I had something come up that took all of my time. By the time I was done with that, I forgot about that question (and what the purpose of existence was). So yeah, better later than never, amirite guys?
I believe that everything happens when fate demands it to, but even then, I have to accept that I'm just stalling at this point
It's like making a leap into the unknown. You can ready yourself all you like but if you never accept that it doesn't matter whether or not you like what awaits you out there, you'll never get that push to do it. I feel like I'm stuck on the border almost; I know I'm this close to starting the next act in my life but it stresses me out too much knowing if I take that last step I might not ever be able to come back. I've fell into a state of inertia through my own doubt and worry. Maybe that's just part of the transition, like when a rollercoaster hits a peak on the tracks and there's a brief standstill looking down at the slope before it comes crashing down, but I can't stay here and I've come too far to turn back.
I wish there was more context I could give when sharing things like that, but personal details just lose too much of their impact when you're not the one experiencing them unfortunately. Still, maybe some of you can relate in your own way
If I remember it right, I didn't think it was a dumb question at all. You don't owe anyone a reply for things like that in this thread, or even a thank you really. I'm glad we could help you out a bit though and it was no problem
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Greetings forum viewers. I have a confession to make so I'll cut to the point like I usually do.
First, this is going to be a long one so bear with me.
It's about Yu-Gi-Oh, I saw the dubbed anime years ago, and when the Duel Monsters card game graced America, I was in awe. The artwork of the cards and the creatures, were beyond imagination. I became hooked immediately. But as time went on, my fascination soon became obsession. I wanted my own super awesome deck that would possibly rival anyones from the anime. And with the anime in topic, the more and more I watched, the more and more I became bored with the heroics and the long winded dialogue and sappy speeches. Soon, I would check the net, for future episode synopsis and hope one of the heroes (especially Yuki) would fail. And overtime him, Joey or one of the other leads won, the more I became angry and detested them.
I went through dollar after dollar of pack after pack trying to create the "one deck". Unfortunately, I was consumed with a lust for power, I couldn't see, until my Ma staged an intervention. And glad I did, I had to stop. By the time The Lost Millennium series came out, I knew I had to face facts and realize the math of how card collecting went. I don't know how much I spent, maybe high hundreds of dollars on packs. Now I feel like a complete fool. And with the anime, I realized the dubbed version was translated from Japan which means the series history has run it's course. All and all, it was folly.
I donated all the cards I had and the incomplete deck and renounced the franchise. It's funny, for most people with problems it's either alcohol or narcotics, me it was YuGiOh cards.
From 2002-2005.
Yet, somehow deep down inside of me, I still wanted to make my own deck, even though I avoided the game like the plague. I wanted one, of my own creation with no connection to anyones in the anime. When Series 9 began with Duelist Alliance, it started up again. But I saw the game had changed, but every-time I tried to start plans for a fantasy deck just for fun, a part of me slaps my mind and I ask "What the hell am I doing?".
I just don't know what. I swore I renounced this game, but it keeps calling me back. I fear it will do what it did before, I will think of nothing else, and waste my precious time trying to perfect a deck.
But the game these days is quick play and getting the best cards for a quick win. The simplest joys of playing I feel don't exist.
Me, a 33 year old man obsessed with a child's card game. And can't seem to bury it.
I just bore one of my darkest shames to all on this forum. I ask for anything support, advice anything at all. What do I do? I just don't know.
There are people who spend several hundreds of dollars on sneakers that will get worn out and thrown away. There's nothing wrong with what you're doing so long as it doesn't get in the way of the things you need to do.
So? I'm not big on Yu-gi-oh or any other card game, but I've had my obsessions here and there. I think you're fine.
I know that much. But I haven't bought a pack in years. And I want to pick cards and form a list, just for completion's sake. But if I do, what then. I hold on to it for years, which I don't look at it for the foreseeable future?
I like to think that crying is a sign of strength/weakness, and holding back tears is also sign of strength/weakness . By crying, one is strong enough to express that kind of emotion and how they feel, but also gives the impression you can be broken. Holding back tears is a sign of strength because it means you're too strong to be broken, but also shows you're too weak to express grief.
Of course, I've had many moments where I felt like "yeah, this is something that's more than enough to make me cry" but I've never actually let any tears out, not in the past 4 years anyway. Idk, it's like they just won't come out. Once when I was all up in my feelings, I tried to see if I could get the waterworks going, but I couldn't. Maybe I just don't care enough about things to cry, idk.
True strength is being unafraid to show your true self in spite of how others expect you to act. Any man can be broken, whether they show it through tears makes no difference, and crying is a normal and healthy part of human nature that's nothing to be ashamed of. It's basically an invitation for support, which doesn't make you weak for giving it because humans are social animals and no man is an island. It's a matter of emotional fortitude and keeping your feelings in balance. Any emotion is unhealthy (or weak) in excess, even happiness (i.e. mania), because it shows some degree of instability. Sadness is important for identifying major problems and crying is a good way to get someone's attention for advice and a new perspective on your issue; like any emotion it just needs to be regulated well. Calling someone weak for crying every once in a while is the same as calling someone a rude jerk for losing their temper every now and then. It happens and it's natural. Emotional mindfulness is just something that has to be built up, like your intelligence or your physique, and sometimes crying is essential to maintaining that balance of your emotional state.
Hey, is it weird to miss my siblings a lot? To miss the relationship we had? To miss spending time with them? They were and are my only friends... and I feel lost without them. Is that strange?
I'm convinced that having my siblings has taught me how to love people. No matter how hard things got, I felt like we could always find something to laugh about... and it always made things bearable and worth living for. It was like we had our own language. I don't think there's anyone else that is as awesome as them.
I find it difficult to find anyone that relates to me in this way.
Hell no. Without my older sister, I'd be so lost. We have a pretty close relationship a lot of siblings don't have. For you to "miss" them means they're not with you anymore right? I mean In the sense that they've moved elsewhere
They're family, and they're suppose to be the first friends you have so you can start to learn how to socialize with people outside of your family, so it's safe to say anyone who tells you it's weird to miss the good times you had with your siblings with a straight face is either envious of your good relationship with them, never had siblings or is a soulless nutcase lol
If you still have a good relationship with them you can always try to call them when they're not busy. If they aren't there's no reason why they wouldn't answer.
We all feel lost to some degree as young adults. It's great to finally feel free from that leash but then once you do you realize that freedom has it's own price of overwhelming unpredictability, and that includes the freedom of those you grew up with. I'd say it's better to cherish the fact that you were lucky to have that many good memories with your siblings than it is to feel sad that it couldn't stay that way. They do still love you even if growing up has caused tension and drifting apart.
thanks to everyone from the bottom of my heart for the beautiful messages you sent to my sister. I’m @MegaXD ‘s brother and I knew she had an account here because she loved Telltale Games, today is the first time I’m checking it out and I saw her last post. I’m not going to tell details, just came here to thank everyone, and PLEASE don’t feel guilty, there’s nothing you could do that would change her mind.
have a wonderful life
Thank you for the update, she was a great part of this community and I'm not just saying that. Several of us were hoping to see some kind of heads up that she was okay, to the point that (as far as I know) one user deleted their account because they cared about your sister probably the most out of anyone here and coming here became too painful for them (that's not your sister's fault though). I'm sorry for everything you've had to go through this past month and I'm wishing the best for you and your family. If she's okay and ever feels up to coming back I know lots of people here would be ecstatic and give her the warmest welcome possible.
Thank you and you and your family have a wonderful life too, you deserve it more than us right now
Thanks for the update. Hopefully you and your family will have a good life too.
Thank you for updating us. Best of wishes for you and your family.
Thank you for giving us closure. I wish the best for your family going forward.
I never had to go through braces but I heard that they kinda suck (having them put in and not being able to eat de candies) congrats though, hope it doesn’t suck as much as I’ve been told ?
Idk wth my obsession with Ultra Instinct is, but ever since Goku started using it in his fights against Jiren/Kefla, I just can't get it out of my mind! Ffs, look at my fucking profile picture
Thanks for the update, it means a lot to us here.
Hope you and your family are doing ok, and best wishes for the future.
I appreciate you taking the time and energy to provide us with an update; I know that it mustn't of been easy to write.
I know how hard and painful it is; I'm very close to my sister too, and although our separation isn't permanent, I completely understand what it's like to miss her. I can imagine how devastating it must be. I have a lot of empathy and respect for you; you have amazing strength to have written the beautiful post that you did during this difficult time. That would've been quite emotional reading all the feedback from the forum members.
If you need someone to talk to, I'm open, or if you want a place to vent, you're welcome here. There's quite a few caring and supportive people here.
I hope the best for you and your family. @MegaXD is an amazing person; she made an incredible impact on more people than she realized, and she made a wonderful contribution to this community.
Take care.
Well my best friend decided to be a pretty big cunt a few days ago, now I'm kinda doing the whole silent treatment thing. Basically I had brought up a sensitive subject and asked him to respect it, to which he agreed, but proceeded to delve further into the subject with barely any regard. Wording a question about said subject in a very disrespectful way. I love him like he's my brother, but he can be a real douchebag sometimes and I've just been wondering to myself if this was the last straw. I don't want it to be, but he hasn't said anything to me since. Not even sorry, really. Not sure if he's unaware that it affected me that much or just doesn't care. I'd like to think the former. I told myself to give it a week and if he doesn't say anything by then, then to cut ties, maybe he doesn't value our friendship the same as I do.
Candies are fine. If we're being serious here, any kind of food will somehow get stuck in your mouth somewhere, so that's pretty annoying.
One thing I have vetoed from my consumption is (unfortunately) popcorn. If it's bad without braces, then with them on you'll get every single one of them stuck in your mouth.
Yah, don't do popcorn with braces. I one time busted a bracket by eating some at a movie theater.
Sounds a lot like my best friend, right down to him saying I'm like a brother to him. He'd say really hurtful things because he had no filter (or any self-control/ anger management really) so I'd give him the silent treatment and eventually he'd apologize.
You just have to remember that friends like that aren't acting that way to spite you (and if you feel like they are then yes drop them), they're just inept at interpersonal skills in certain ways. I'm not assuming your friend's family history or anything but abusive or neglectful parents can really skew your understanding of healthy boundaries and social norms like that. If he's like my friend then he probably knows how shitty he is but doesn't know how to correct that, or he doesn't want to admit how terribly he's acting because he's been trying to play the tough guy to compensate for his fractured ego and admitting that would cause his facade to unravel completely in his eyes. I don't know your friend though, and whether understanding why he acts like that makes salvaging the friendship worth it is up to you, and there's nothing wrong with cutting ties. I'm sure he values your friendship but doesn't have enough emotional intelligence or tactfulness to help support it, but you know him better than I do and even if you think I might understand how he acts you still have the right to judge if those flaws are worth looking past.
It's weird to think that you're most likely the bad guy in someone else's story, possibly even the villain, just for being true to yourself. We all know we'll end up doing something to hurt someone else at some point, either intentionally or not, because pain is inevitable. Despite that we still feel like the protagonist with well-rounded motives, even if they're not exactly virtuous, and while we can still care about those people, they are just side characters who unfortunately get in the way of our goals or feelings sometimes.
Because of that, it's a bit disconcerting when you project yourself out and see just how corrupt, oppressive or even malevolent your actions appear to be from the outside when it, even if you committed them sadistically, partly because it shows just how far you've fallen and that from the outside your actions and words don't have any special justification to them. Sometimes even just sticking to the status quo or giving an honest answer will turn people against you when you meant them no harm; life doesn't care if we collide with other's ambitions or not because a story demands conflict.
That causes a dilemma: Do you strive towards assuming the image in an attempt to keep the peace, or do you seek to fulfill your own spirit? There's nothing wrong with being the antagonist in another story as long as you stayed true to yourself, life made you who you are and there's no shame in that. No one can ultimately judge your character since they can't see all sides of you, even if you try to show them. The world doesn't bend to morality; when you try to shift it into black and white all it does is melt and mix into grey, all we can do is determine which shades constitute as light enough.
I never mean to say I know how the world works with pieces like this one. I know I have a flawed view of how the world works and a flawed way of expressing it. I like to be persuaded towards another point of view, though I know you can't expect that to go respectfully since many people are so strongly convicted in their worldviews, myself included lol take care
My happiness is not happiness... it's mania. It makes me oblivious to every other emotion. It makes me unreceptive of other people's emotions. It makes me a distracted and annoying person. It's not healthy. But I keep trying to distract myself from myself... because I'm afraid. I'm afraid of falling back into that dark frame of mind... I'm afraid of feeling numb and detached again...
Yesterday, I got the most angry I have been in years.
So, I was at customer service getting alot of people lottery tickets for people and one guy gives me a stampcard for $9 of lottery. I processed the cards and ring it up and he says that it was supposed to be $12. I told him that the stamps only show up as $9 and there was nothing I could do to make it read differently, but he dismissed it with this very irritated expression. I don't know if it was because I hadn't got enough sleep for a few days or the thoughts I've been having recently. But this time, I wasn't able to shrug it off.
I got so mad I wasn't able hide my frustration visably. My vision went fuzzy, I could feel my face crinkle up till my teeth were bearing, I began to shake violently, and I was wasn't able to speak. All I could do to stop myself from screaming at him was to clench my teeth and let out a growl. The guy didn't say a word and just left. I continued working after they left, but I felt a bit shaky for an hour after that.
I.. I didn't have much control over myself. If I wasn't behind the desk, I probably would've been leaving that store in handcuffs. In my 3 years of working there as a cashier/serviceclerk, I had never gotten that angry. But I've only been working at customer service for two weeks and..
It didn't seem like a bad idea when I started and I thought it would be easier by working there since it would make the time pass by quicker by keeping me busy. I never thought that it would get to me like this. I should tell them what happened and step down from my position before this has a chance of happening again.
the best thing you cand do is just let it go ive had customers like that whilst on my own at night threatening to come back once we have opened the doors and attack me(i work at a fuel station that has a serving hatch forvwhen on our own) ive had to call the police once but just remember he most likely wont come back
I try to be as nice as possible to cashiers or waiters. I've always worked union construction but I know what it's like dealing with someone you couldn't find a hammer big enough to pound some sense into. I've been at restaurants; and the way I've seen some people talk to these waiters it was hard for me to keep my composure.
A good way to release stress and have fun is to get two pairs of boxing gloves, and challenge your friends to a fight. Keep in mind it's not the safest way; I've knocked out my lil brother years back when we use to do this. It was kind of an accident because I was trying to take it easy on him. Think he was 14 and I was 16 at the time; it was fun tho.