Maya , Irving , Richard , Jenna I have a huge crush on Maya
Who was your least favourite charachter
Marak is a little boring I think , also I think Wolfius is a bit unrealistic too much of a madman .He is like Trevor from GTA but a exaggerated version .
who has been your favourite log in Act 1
Maya , Jenna ,Richard
what has been your least favourite chapter in Act 1
Chapter 1 each chapter has been better than the one before it so far
what has been your favourite moment of act 1
The twist regarding Master Eaton , I genuinely didn't see that coming
**is there anything you disliked **
Like I said , Wolfius in my opinion , can be overdone at times .
do you have any further advice ,anything you would like to see more , anything you are anticipating in Act 2
I think a bit more humour would be good, like game of thrones which is funny every now and then .
So... this was Chapter 3, this was Act 1. Compared to the first two chapters, this chapter was so much longer, longer than both of the previ… moreous chapters combined, but personally, it was so much more exciting. All this stuff I was able to write about... needless to say I loved writing it and I hope you loved reading it! Judging from the length of the google document, I have officially written a short novel already, going by the length. During the past three months, Forum of Thrones became the most commented and most liked topic in the Game of Thrones section of this forum and one of the most viewed topics as well. This is amazing, overwhelming and wonderful and it would have never happened without you. It's official, you are awesome! Thank you so much for reading this story.
The next chapter will start on Tuesday or Wednesday and I am really looking forward for it. The name already gives it away, there will be a lot of focus on the Oldtow… [view original content]
And I also didn't understand why the Butterfly would kidnap Kersea's sister. Did he know she had awesome assassin powers or did she expect her to die immediately.
There is a reason behind it that will be explained in future chapters, maybe even in the next.
Maybe outline a major central plot line, then set the minor plot lines.
Yes, this will happen. Over the course of Act 2, several questions will be answered and several minor plotlines get combined to a very important major plotline.
Who were your favourite characters in Act 1?Lyria, Leonard, and Samantha.
Who were your least favourite characters in Act 1?Jenna (So muc… moreh hate on Jenna ;O )
Who were your favourite PoV's in Act 1? Lyria and John
Who were your least favourite PoV's in Act 1? Jenna and Richard (Sorry)
What has been your favourite chapter in Act 1?I loved all the chapters, but if I had to choose it would be Dark Wings, Dark Words..
What has been your favourite part and your favourite moment in Act 1?The part where Lyria speaks with the City Guard, because I love the father son relationship between Hackor and Arthur
Is there anything you disliked? Sorry Harkings! And I also didn't understand why the Butterfly would kidnap Kersea's sister. Did he know she had awesome assassin powers or did she expect her to die immediately.
Do you have further advice, anything you'd like to see more, anything you're anticipating in Act 2? Maybe outline a major central plot line, then set the minor plot lines.
Yes! Fucking finally, someone who likes the Harkings
And gotta love Maya. I had a lot of fun writing her storyline for this Chapter.
I think Wolfius is a bit unrealistic too much of a madman
Here I can tease that Wolfius has a very good reason to act the way he acts, not only because of his insanity. There is more behind his behaviour and this will be explained in coming chapters. I've also teased the hell out of it already
I think a bit more humour would be good, like game of thrones which is funny every now and then .
I'm terrible at humour. Trust me, you don't want to read it. Marak is a little bit more light-hearted than others and I guess the character of Irving has potential for some humorous moments as well as a lot more stuff coming for him in the next chapter. But all in all, most of the characters are quite serious, with more potential for being dark than being funny. I mean, between Wolves, Bears and fucking Butterflies, there is little place for genuine humour. But when it fits the story, I will add it in, I promise.
All in all it's safe to say that things are going to get quite dark at times in the next Act, especially once Butterfly finally appears. There are some scenes upcoming that will be intense, as well as very painful to write.
who were your favourite characters in Act 1
Maya , Irving , Richard , Jenna I have a huge crush on Maya
Who was your least favouri… morete charachter
Marak is a little boring I think , also I think Wolfius is a bit unrealistic too much of a madman .He is like Trevor from GTA but a exaggerated version .
who has been your favourite log in Act 1
Maya , Jenna ,Richard
what has been your least favourite chapter in Act 1
Chapter 1 each chapter has been better than the one before it so far
what has been your favourite moment of act 1
The twist regarding Master Eaton , I genuinely didn't see that coming
**is there anything you disliked **
Like I said , Wolfius in my opinion , can be overdone at times .
do you have any further advice ,anything you would like to see more , anything you are anticipating in Act 2
I think a bit more humour would be good, like game of thrones which is funny every now and then .
(So much hate on Jenna ;O )
Why all the Harking hate
And I also didn't understand why the Butterfly would kidnap Kersea's sis… moreter. Did he know she had awesome assassin powers or did she expect her to die immediately.
There is a reason behind it that will be explained in future chapters, maybe even in the next.
Maybe outline a major central plot line, then set the minor plot lines.
Yes, this will happen. Over the course of Act 2, several questions will be answered and several minor plotlines get combined to a very important major plotline.
This is amazing Liquid! I loved every bit of it. I cannot wait for act 2! This has to be one of the if not the best fan fictions out there! I mean, this is like an actual great book good! You're a really great writer
That comment just made me so happy. Thank you so much, I'm glad you like this story! Your story and others are and were a tremendous inspiration for me and it's safe to say that my story wouldn't be even half as good without these inspirations. Thanks again, it means a lot to hear things like that
This is amazing Liquid! I loved every bit of it. I cannot wait for act 2! This has to be one of the if not the best fan fictions out there! I mean, this is like an actual great book good! You're a really great writer
So, I arrived in the German Outback and to my surprise, I have internet! It's crappy internet, not even able to play youtube videos, but it's more than I expected. While I won't have time to write, I will have time to plan the next parts in full detail. Expect the next Act to start somewhere around Tuesday!
So, I arrived in the German Outback and to my surprise, I have internet! It's crappy internet, not even able to play youtube videos, but it'… mores more than I expected. While I won't have time to write, I will have time to plan the next parts in full detail. Expect the next Act to start somewhere around Tuesday!
On Act 1 I liked most things (I never expected my characters to be any more than background so that was a nice surpise)
My only real problem was that whole random "rape" attempt by that lord, it just felt random and weird given the circumstances. Also characters tend to survive pretty much everything.
My least favourite parts are probably the harking father and daughter, her surviving was okay but after her father also surviving so randomonly I think is why it felt a bit much. I have to admit rethinking it my least favourite is that female assassin, I know everyone is picking the choices that make her do some odd things but she comes across annoying and a hypocrite to me.
The favourites are anything surronding that whole burned man/butterfuly dynamic
In the next part I hope to learn more about the priestess and that William? Kid thats with that army and how they tie into everything.
How did no one mention Ellena's escape?
Was among my favourite moments in the chapter as well
Well, it seems like the backsto… morery is generally told for the PoV characters and not so much for the other characters. There is no sort of explanation why Leonard has a hard time when he gets lied to, or maybe its just me getting anxious to read more and more.
There will be more backstory to all of the characters in due time. In Leonard's case, I don't think he would tell his backstory that easily. Now that he starts to become a friend to Lucas, he will trust him more and will reveal a little bit more about himself. The PoV's get their backstory revealed sooner, of course, but the Non-PoV's will get their backstorytime too.
Like really, what the hell...Also, I really hope there will be more deaths in upcoming chapters, but seeing the shitload of characters you've got there it seems unavoidable
Like really, what the hell...Also, I really hope there will be more deaths in upcoming chapters, but seeing the shitload of characters you've got there it seems unavoidable
Like really, what the hell...Also, I really hope there will be more deaths in upcoming chapters, but seeing the shitload of characters you've got there it seems unavoidable
I never expected my characters to be any more than background so that was a nice surpise
And there is more for them coming
My only real problem was that whole random "rape" attempt by that lord, it just felt random and weird given the circumstances
I admit the scene could have needed more build-up. Another Maya part could have done wonders. The thing with Lord Brune is, he would have never raped her. He is in no way a good man, but he is no rapist. The whole act was a try to intimidate her and to spite Lord Royce, but I somewhat failed to build this into the story.
Also characters tend to survive pretty much everything.
My least favourite parts are probably the harking father and daughter, her surviving was okay but after her father also surviving so randomonly I think is why it felt a bit much.
I see what you mean. My main problem is, I am nowhere near the writing mentality of George R.R. Martin, who has this brutally realistic style of writing. I have a problem with killing off characters before using their full potential. Jenna for example has plenty of possibility for character growth. I gave both of them the possibility of dying in this chapter, but you managed to pick the choices that saved both of them. However, I admit that the chances of their survival had been higher than the chances of their death, as well as the choices that could have lead to the determinant deaths of Terroma and Gregar. I'll try to work on this, but I always struggle with killing characters. However, there will be several moments where I won't hold back with the deaths, I hope that will suffice. And there will be a few very surprising deaths in Book 1.
I have to admit rethinking it my least favourite is that female assassin, I know everyone is picking the choices that make her do some odd things but she comes across annoying and a hypocrite to me.
The thing with Kersea is, she is hypocritical. She is a professional killer and no matter how regretful she is, she still continues, not only for her sisters sake, but also because she is starting to change and is starting to enjoy it. She tries to convince herself that she won't change who she is, but given the things she is forced to do, that's close to impossible. Since she lacks Claytons cold approach to killing, she is probably on the verge of mentally loosing it and her attempts to convince herself that she hates killing come off as increasingly hypocritical. That said, I admit that I love her character and PoV, simply because she is morally dark grey at best and interacts with characters who are the darkest shades of black.
The favourites are anything surronding that whole burned man/butterfuly dynamic
The surprisingly spotlight-stealing storyline I love it too and there will be some development in that storyline in the next chapter.
In the next part I hope to learn more about the priestess and that William? Kid thats with that army and how they tie into everything.
There will be more Willfred and while I like Noelle a bit mysterious, there will also be more about her plans revealed in the coming chapter.
On Act 1 I liked most things (I never expected my characters to be any more than background so that was a nice surpise)
My only real prob… morelem was that whole random "rape" attempt by that lord, it just felt random and weird given the circumstances. Also characters tend to survive pretty much everything.
My least favourite parts are probably the harking father and daughter, her surviving was okay but after her father also surviving so randomonly I think is why it felt a bit much. I have to admit rethinking it my least favourite is that female assassin, I know everyone is picking the choices that make her do some odd things but she comes across annoying and a hypocrite to me.
The favourites are anything surronding that whole burned man/butterfuly dynamic
In the next part I hope to learn more about the priestess and that William? Kid thats with that army and how they tie into everything.
And more death is confirmed. Unfortunately, not as much as some might hope for, at least not initially. But don't count on anyone specific surviving this, nobody is save... Well, perhaps people like Loren Lannister because canon, but in fact many submitted characters have untimely demises planned for them.
Like really, what the hell...Also, I really hope there will be more deaths in upcoming chapters, but seeing the shitload of characters you've got there it seems unavoidable
Oh, a Forum of Thrones meme
And more death is confirmed. Unfortunately, not as much as some might hope for, at least not initially. But … moredon't count on anyone specific surviving this, nobody is save... Well, perhaps people like Loren Lannister because canon, but in fact many submitted characters have untimely demises planned for them.
Thanks for the review, I appreciate it!
I never expected my characters to be any more than background so that was a nice surpise
… more
And there is more for them coming
My only real problem was that whole random "rape" attempt by that lord, it just felt random and weird given the circumstances
I admit the scene could have needed more build-up. Another Maya part could have done wonders. The thing with Lord Brune is, he would have never raped her. He is in no way a good man, but he is no rapist. The whole act was a try to intimidate her and to spite Lord Royce, but I somewhat failed to build this into the story.
Also characters tend to survive pretty much everything.
My least favourite parts are probably the harking father and daughter, her surviving was okay but after her father also surviving so randomonly I think is why it felt a bit much.
I see what you mean. My main problem is, I am nowhere near … [view original content]
Despite me being sure that I won't be able to check the submission box while on vacation, I just did, even though it might not work correctly on my phone. Since I got more than one new: Which one is your character?
I'm sorry, please forgive me. I blame my horrible internet connection right now. Loading this page up to the point where I can comment took me 10 minutes, I'm not kidding. Meaning, it took me so long to load the page, I simply forgot to reply.
And Leonard's backstory shall be told soon in one of the coming Lucas parts. I'm glad everybody seems to like Leonard, because I have plans for his backstory
I'm sorry, please forgive me. I blame my horrible internet connection right now. Loading this page up to the point where I can comment took … moreme 10 minutes, I'm not kidding. Meaning, it took me so long to load the page, I simply forgot to reply.
And Leonard's backstory shall be told soon in one of the coming Lucas parts. I'm glad everybody seems to like Leonard, because I have plans for his backstory
Hi and welcome! I'm glad you like the story
Despite me being sure that I won't be able to check the submission box while on vacation, I … morejust did, even though it might not work correctly on my phone. Since I got more than one new: Which one is your character?
Just checked him. While I can't completely check him until I am home again, due to the way my phone works, I like what I can check so far. I will be able to work with him very well, great character!
Originally, I had planned to write an incredibly silly and deliberately goofy non-canonical part as some sort of April Fool's joke, but I am afraid that I am simply unable to write humorously. Sorry for my lacking sense of humour!
You could have shown us Ser Jar Jar of Binks, Bump, and Mike Rotch. It could have been so good.
The Voting is closed!
John will respect Samantha's wish and will allow her to travel to Oldtown
Yes, I know, I'm closing the voting ve… morery early again and many readers had no time to vote yet. For that, I am sorry. It's also quite possible that the outcome of this vote would be different if I would wait longer. For that, I am also sorry.
However, me closing the voting now has two reasons:
The first reason is, that the new part, the last part of Chapter 3, is almost written. I will finish it somewhere in the next 2-4 hours and I don't want to keep you waiting longer than needed. Tomorrow I will write a short part about the alternative choices, considering that some of them made quite the difference so far. Originally, I had planned to write an incredibly silly and deliberately goofy non-canonical part as some sort of April Fool's joke, but I am afraid that I am simply unable to write humorously. Sorry for my lacking sense of humour!
… [view original content]
Just checked him. While I can't completely check him until I am home again, due to the way my phone works, I like what I can check so far. I will be able to work with him very well, great character!
JESUS CHRIST. I came here to ask how this was going but i take ONE look at the non-introduced characters list and im wondering why Liquid hasent pretended to be dead yet. I guess hes way too awesome for that ^-^. But still.....Jesus.
JESUS CHRIST. I came here to ask how this was going but i take ONE look at the non-introduced characters list and im wondering why Liquid hasent pretended to be dead yet. I guess hes way too awesome for that ^-^. But still.....Jesus.
So... you know I charmingly described the place I went to for vacation for as the German Outback, mainly because of it's lack of internet. Well, yesterday I got a better name for it: Narnia. Fucking Narnia. The Landscape is lush and beautiful, the internet is even worse and I'm quite sure some of the locals are talking animals. But it was a wonderful vacation and even though I missed writing, I enjoyed the little break.
On my long journey home I noticed the marvel that is the german autobahn. For a country that prides itself in it's streets, actually so much that they invent beautiful words like 'Strassenverkehrsnetz' (seriously, try to say that without sounding like an aggressive madman. The struggle is real, my friends), german streets have one big problem: They are always crowded. Like in, too crowded. Four hours of a completey needless traffic jam, stuck with horrible music are really not what I want to experience on Easter Monday.
Anyway...
And I'm back at writing! But first, let me check the submission box, since I got a lot of new characters. And...
There is one character that I sadly won't accept, namely the character Duke Nukem. Despite the fact that he hails to the king, baby, the ultimate alien ass kicker won't be in this story as long as there is no Duke Nukem Forever 2. I'm sorry.
Every other character is accepted of course. And actually most of them will be in Book 1.
Be prepared for a new chapter starting early tomorrow!
Comments
who were your favourite characters in Act 1
Maya , Irving , Richard , Jenna I have a huge crush on Maya
Who was your least favourite charachter
Marak is a little boring I think , also I think Wolfius is a bit unrealistic too much of a madman .He is like Trevor from GTA but a exaggerated version .
who has been your favourite log in Act 1
Maya , Jenna ,Richard
what has been your least favourite chapter in Act 1
Chapter 1 each chapter has been better than the one before it so far
what has been your favourite moment of act 1
The twist regarding Master Eaton , I genuinely didn't see that coming
**is there anything you disliked **
Like I said , Wolfius in my opinion , can be overdone at times .
do you have any further advice ,anything you would like to see more , anything you are anticipating in Act 2
I think a bit more humour would be good, like game of thrones which is funny every now and then .
Why all the Harking hate
There is a reason behind it that will be explained in future chapters, maybe even in the next.
Yes, this will happen. Over the course of Act 2, several questions will be answered and several minor plotlines get combined to a very important major plotline.
Yes! Fucking finally, someone who likes the Harkings
And gotta love Maya. I had a lot of fun writing her storyline for this Chapter.
Here I can tease that Wolfius has a very good reason to act the way he acts, not only because of his insanity. There is more behind his behaviour and this will be explained in coming chapters. I've also teased the hell out of it already
I'm terrible at humour. Trust me, you don't want to read it. Marak is a little bit more light-hearted than others and I guess the character of Irving has potential for some humorous moments as well as a lot more stuff coming for him in the next chapter. But all in all, most of the characters are quite serious, with more potential for being dark than being funny. I mean, between Wolves, Bears and fucking Butterflies, there is little place for genuine humour. But when it fits the story, I will add it in, I promise.
All in all it's safe to say that things are going to get quite dark at times in the next Act, especially once Butterfly finally appears. There are some scenes upcoming that will be intense, as well as very painful to write.
There were so many new comments I thought a new chapter was added xD
Although I didn't manage to read it all YET, I really like the story and intrigue :P
I don't know if my subconscious is just a bandwagoner, but I wasn't as interested with Jenna's story than the others.
This is amazing Liquid! I loved every bit of it. I cannot wait for act 2! This has to be one of the if not the best fan fictions out there! I mean, this is like an actual great book good! You're a really great writer
That comment just made me so happy. Thank you so much, I'm glad you like this story! Your story and others are and were a tremendous inspiration for me and it's safe to say that my story wouldn't be even half as good without these inspirations. Thanks again, it means a lot to hear things like that
So, I arrived in the German Outback and to my surprise, I have internet! It's crappy internet, not even able to play youtube videos, but it's more than I expected. While I won't have time to write, I will have time to plan the next parts in full detail. Expect the next Act to start somewhere around Tuesday!
Excellent!
On Act 1 I liked most things (I never expected my characters to be any more than background so that was a nice surpise)
My only real problem was that whole random "rape" attempt by that lord, it just felt random and weird given the circumstances. Also characters tend to survive pretty much everything.
My least favourite parts are probably the harking father and daughter, her surviving was okay but after her father also surviving so randomonly I think is why it felt a bit much. I have to admit rethinking it my least favourite is that female assassin, I know everyone is picking the choices that make her do some odd things but she comes across annoying and a hypocrite to me.
The favourites are anything surronding that whole burned man/butterfuly dynamic
In the next part I hope to learn more about the priestess and that William? Kid thats with that army and how they tie into everything.
You see Liquid, people WANT to know Leonard's backstory. You hear me?
YOU HEAR ME?!??!?!?!?!??!!??!
Like really, what the hell...Also, I really hope there will be more deaths in upcoming chapters, but seeing the shitload of characters you've got there it seems unavoidable
ayyyyy fellow memecenterian
Just make octoplets all be allergic to swords and die.
Ayy this is a first meme I made on memecenter
Thanks for the review, I appreciate it!
And there is more for them coming
I admit the scene could have needed more build-up. Another Maya part could have done wonders. The thing with Lord Brune is, he would have never raped her. He is in no way a good man, but he is no rapist. The whole act was a try to intimidate her and to spite Lord Royce, but I somewhat failed to build this into the story.
I see what you mean. My main problem is, I am nowhere near the writing mentality of George R.R. Martin, who has this brutally realistic style of writing. I have a problem with killing off characters before using their full potential. Jenna for example has plenty of possibility for character growth. I gave both of them the possibility of dying in this chapter, but you managed to pick the choices that saved both of them. However, I admit that the chances of their survival had been higher than the chances of their death, as well as the choices that could have lead to the determinant deaths of Terroma and Gregar. I'll try to work on this, but I always struggle with killing characters. However, there will be several moments where I won't hold back with the deaths, I hope that will suffice. And there will be a few very surprising deaths in Book 1.
The thing with Kersea is, she is hypocritical. She is a professional killer and no matter how regretful she is, she still continues, not only for her sisters sake, but also because she is starting to change and is starting to enjoy it. She tries to convince herself that she won't change who she is, but given the things she is forced to do, that's close to impossible. Since she lacks Claytons cold approach to killing, she is probably on the verge of mentally loosing it and her attempts to convince herself that she hates killing come off as increasingly hypocritical. That said, I admit that I love her character and PoV, simply because she is morally dark grey at best and interacts with characters who are the darkest shades of black.
The surprisingly spotlight-stealing storyline
I love it too and there will be some development in that storyline in the next chapter.
There will be more Willfred and while I like Noelle a bit mysterious, there will also be more about her plans revealed in the coming chapter.
Oh, a Forum of Thrones meme
And more death is confirmed. Unfortunately, not as much as some might hope for, at least not initially. But don't count on anyone specific surviving this, nobody is save... Well, perhaps people like Loren Lannister because canon, but in fact many submitted characters have untimely demises planned for them.
Yeah, we can't save the loved ones in the end, can we?
Still looking forward to the story, as I'm almost catching up :P
Its still very well done dont get me wrong
I know, no worries
You brought up good points and it will help a lot.
this is awesome, too bad I stumbled on this too late for probably for my character to make a substantial impact on the story.
Hi and welcome! I'm glad you like the story
Despite me being sure that I won't be able to check the submission box while on vacation, I just did, even though it might not work correctly on my phone. Since I got more than one new: Which one is your character?
@LiquidChicagoTed you sly dog not replying to my comments.
I'm sorry, please forgive me. I blame my horrible internet connection right now. Loading this page up to the point where I can comment took me 10 minutes, I'm not kidding. Meaning, it took me so long to load the page, I simply forgot to reply.
And Leonard's backstory shall be told soon in one of the coming Lucas parts. I'm glad everybody seems to like Leonard, because I have plans for his backstory
So Leonard lives for a bit?
All is forgiven. You're lucky it's still Easter, Liquid. Next time I will not be as forgiving.
Woah! Act 1 is finished! I just logged back on today and was met with tons of news. Good stuff Liquid! Can't wait for Act 2!
Hey! I just recently wrote him (Federico Snow) and I have someone else coming up shortly (Morrigan)
Is Morrigan's name based on the Dragon Age character? Just curious.
Just checked him. While I can't completely check him until I am home again, due to the way my phone works, I like what I can check so far. I will be able to work with him very well, great character!
I noticed the submission box has different font, will I get a potato?
Late comment but I realized this
You could have shown us Ser Jar Jar of Binks, Bump, and Mike Rotch. It could have been so good.
She's not based on the DA character but I did come up with the name cause I just recently went back to DAO haha.
Thanks! I really enjoy your work you've done a great job.
JESUS CHRIST. I came here to ask how this was going but i take ONE look at the non-introduced characters list and im wondering why Liquid hasent pretended to be dead yet. I guess hes way too awesome for that ^-^. But still.....Jesus.
which one?
WARNING Potato stocks [depleted].
intrusion occurred: -5 hours and 32 seconds
Assailant Name: Cotter
the list itself......its so long ............so long........... and he has to develop ALL of them
because why not?
Why is Jenna Harking hated?
So... you know I charmingly described the place I went to for vacation for as the German Outback, mainly because of it's lack of internet. Well, yesterday I got a better name for it: Narnia. Fucking Narnia. The Landscape is lush and beautiful, the internet is even worse and I'm quite sure some of the locals are talking animals. But it was a wonderful vacation and even though I missed writing, I enjoyed the little break.
On my long journey home I noticed the marvel that is the german autobahn. For a country that prides itself in it's streets, actually so much that they invent beautiful words like 'Strassenverkehrsnetz' (seriously, try to say that without sounding like an aggressive madman. The struggle is real, my friends), german streets have one big problem: They are always crowded. Like in, too crowded. Four hours of a completey needless traffic jam, stuck with horrible music are really not what I want to experience on Easter Monday.
Anyway...
And I'm back at writing! But first, let me check the submission box, since I got a lot of new characters. And...
There is one character that I sadly won't accept, namely the character Duke Nukem. Despite the fact that he hails to the king, baby, the ultimate alien ass kicker won't be in this story as long as there is no Duke Nukem Forever 2. I'm sorry.
Every other character is accepted of course. And actually most of them will be in Book 1.
Be prepared for a new chapter starting early tomorrow!