Continuing upon the end of S1(fan-fic)

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  • edited January 2014

    Whatever you'll do: please make the changes in the original post. I am very proud of our story btw

    Ok then so I forgot Clem didn't know about Charlie wanting to kill the New Crawford guys. To fix this can we just say either Charlie said it in his final words or Kenny/Pasucci told her?

  • I edited it so Pascucci & Kenny tell Clementine about Charlies final wish. I don't really want to comment next as I did it last time and I love the fact that the writer changes for each post.

    TheMissus posted: »

    Whatever you'll do: please make the changes in the original post. I am very proud of our story btw

  • Not a problem, everybody makes mistakes, I did too. Episode 3 is just filled with so much action, that the devil is in the detail

    MegaMoto posted: »

    Sorry for my part in that, with so many people writing it get's confusing.

  • edited January 2014

    Good night, everybody. Can't wait to see your posts tomorrow. Don't forget, there is still Danielle. Try to cool it a bit, The loss of Charlie was really sad. I'd rather they make some sneaky action insesd of the 'rambo' (doesn't fit Clem's character), but it's up to you.

    Night night

  • That's what I meant. They go about things sneaky and plan it through. They hide and strike at the perfect opportunity.

  • To be honest I don't know what I was think. HAHA !

    That's what I meant. They go about things sneaky and plan it through. They hide and strike at the perfect opportunity.

  • The error i made (About lilly) wasnt an error. i was typing too slow.

    TheMissus posted: »

    Note: In the last three pages there were much too many continuity erros. I really don't want to appear like a smartass but I want to remind you to read all the posts very closely to avoid logical errors and to keep the story plausible. Thanks.

  • edited January 2014

    Kenny paused and looked at the crying clem. he nelt down next her

    "Clem" he began "We cant just shoot everyone. we need a plan"

    "What plan?" she said angrily "Charlie is DEAD we have to KILL them all! There is no plan!"

    "Maybe there is" said a hope full pascucci "This place has gas pipes and a generator"

    "What are you saying" said kenny

    "If we got a match.... opened up the gas pipe.... you know what happens" he replied

    "How can there be working gas? you guys are hopeless" said clem

    "It seems like they tapped into a gas storage system. it must have been there for a long time" he started "Given that no one has used the gas under there for a long time it was probably just sitting there. Though its a risk. we have to get back when we set it off and i can say at least one of us will....Not make it out of there"

    "Okay" said kenny sadly "I have matches that we used to light the fire. where do we go"

    "Low and central" said pascucci

    "Lets go" said kenny and they ran into the heart of the city

    OFF TOPIC

    There was a lot of confusion just then, and i have to admit i was really troubled and had almost no ideas. my idea might not be perfect but they now have a clear objective instead of "Lets kill everyone yay!"

  • Real cool, but i don't understand why whoever said it (you didn't specify who said it) says that one of them will not make it out of there, why risk your life for someone dead if they somehow KNOW that they will die? xP.

    Lord_zasca posted: »

    Kenny paused and looked at the crying clem. he nelt down next her "Clem" he began "We cant just shoot everyone. we need a plan" "What pl

  • Didn't we agree to cool it on the deaths to ?

    HSPLazerz posted: »

    Real cool, but i don't understand why whoever said it (you didn't specify who said it) says that one of them will not make it out of there, why risk your life for someone dead if they somehow KNOW that they will die? xP.

  • There are prisoners.... and jeremy..... thats what i was planning

    MegaMoto posted: »

    Didn't we agree to cool it on the deaths to ?

  • I think I have an idea but I'll wait for when they get to the gas pumps.

    Lord_zasca posted: »

    There are prisoners.... and jeremy..... thats what i was planning

  • I think Charlie said it but it was earlier on.

    HSPLazerz posted: »

    Agreed, besides, it just seems odd risking your life just because he wanted it, look i get it, it's "For Charlie", but still, it's just, weird.

  • Where is Danielle in all of this?

  • UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...Waiting in the car ?

    Jay_Elem posted: »

    Where is Danielle in all of this?

  • yeah....Duh...

    MegaMoto posted: »

    UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...Waiting in the car ?

  • Okay.

    Lord_zasca posted: »

    yeah....Duh...

  • Yeah, I found it weird, too

    Jay_Elem posted: »

    Where is Danielle in all of this?

  • I agree with both of you, HSB and MegaMoto

    MegaMoto posted: »

    Didn't we agree to cool it on the deaths to ?

  • edited January 2014

    I'm gonna miss the next turns. It's just too puzzling and turbulent, Just don't know what to write because I cannot imagine neither Clementine to be this bloodthirsty nor the group to risks their lifes this much for a dead, so: I'm letting you do it

  • Not only did i just go im at a stump too. Hell i was in trouble while writing that short piece. in 24 hours if NO ONE has posted il post a full post and get them out of the "Rambo situation"

    TheMissus posted: »

    I'm gonna miss the next turns. It's just too puzzling and turbulent, Just don't know what to write because I cannot imagine neither Clementine to be this bloodthirsty nor the group to risks their lifes this much for a dead, so: I'm letting you do it

  • It's a tough situation they are dealing with. But this is a game that is about 'making something cool out of the latest post'. We edited the story several times due to logical errors but ai don't think it is a good idea to do it everytime. Maybe the one who's going to post next can make up a situation that makes it impossible to blow the place up, idk, just thinking. Anyway, the show must go on. We have so many skilled contributors, I'm sure we'll make the best of it

    Lord_zasca posted: »

    Not only did i just go im at a stump too. Hell i was in trouble while writing that short piece. in 24 hours if NO ONE has posted il post a full post and get them out of the "Rambo situation"

  • edited January 2014

    I think Charlie is a very intriguing character, I also just drew a picture of him, so I don't want him to die just yet...

    Lord_zasca posted: »

    I was attached to jacob the most.... You know how that ended

  • edited January 2014

    NO. NO. NO. T_T

    Charlie... But this doesn't make sense! They were at the settlement! They couldn't have come back so quickly? RIght? Charlie...

    HSPLazerz posted: »

    REALLY? Whew, what a relief, i was worried everyone was gonna hate it for, well, obvious reasons :P. Thank you, i actually agree, there was

  • edited January 2014

    ''You know, I wasn't expecting any visitors today.'', the man had a slight German accent, ''Your flesh seems rather, juicy. The kids are going to love you.''

    Jeremy only heard half of what the man was saying, he had a hard time concentrating due to the drugs they gave him. The room was spinning and the brightest colors were reflected on the blood-ridden walls. Jeremy was breathing heavily and did everything to fight off the horrible effects of the drug. The man approached him.

    ''Now it's time for--'', someone knocked on the metal door, ''What is it? I'm busy!''.

    The German man was agitated, he took off his gloves and put his knife down near Jeremy's bleeding right foot. He rushed to the door and opened it. Now is my chance, Jeremy thought to himself. For some reason his body was quite resistant to the drug, so he was already regaining feeling in his legs. He used his painful right foot to move the knife to his hand.

    ''Back to business.'', the butcher's conversation was over, Jeremy laid there silently, unable to grasp his hand around the handle of the knife. Jeremy was in no state to do anything, his drugged mind wandered off, hallucinations started obscuring his vision. A man with a giant mustache jumped in through the window, shattering the glass. Deep down Jeremy knew his mind was exaggerating everything around him, but it all seemed so real.

    The mustached man let out a terrifying scream and used all his strength to tackle the man with his weight. He put his sharp claws firmly around the German man's neck, and snapped it like a twig. Jeremy had used drugs before, but this was one of the weirdest trips he had ever experienced. ''Damn...'', he muttered to himself in awe as the Mustached man waked over to him.

    ''My names Kenny, you seem a little pale, I'll uh, come back for you later.''

    Jeremy struggled to stay awake. After a minute he noticed another man jumping through the window, this one was like a giant blob of orange and green, two colors that didn't match. The blob crawled to the Butcher's tray of equipment and picked up some bandages and swiftly bound them around Jeremy's bleeding leg.

    After what seemed like forever Jeremy slowly slipped out of his psychedelic state, and whispered to Pascucci, ''Save my friends.'', in a slurred manner.

    Pascucci hesitantly answered, ''We'll do whatever we can, but we have to bring you to safety.'', he picked Jeremy up and brought him to the rest of the group. Clementine was still crying over Charlie's body, and Danielle had come out of the car to protect her.

    Meanwhile, Kenny had been attempting to open the metal door, but it didn't budge. Pascucci came back up the fire escape and asked Kenny about what to do now, ''The guy is still a little woozy, but he says these people are cannibals and that his friends are in some kind of meat locker.''

    Kenny experienced some flashbacks to the Saint John's farm, and didn't know what to do. ''We can't leave them behind.'', Clementine had been listening from outside of the window for a while now, she had been talking to Jeremy and had come up the stairs to help his friends.

    ''Look, Clem, I want to help him as much as you do, but the door is locked, and as far as I know there's no other way in.'', Kenny sighed, ''And even if we do manage to bust that door open there's still the other people to worry about.''

    ''It's a suicide-mission.'', Kenny added, ''Do you really want to risk your life for some stranger and his friends?''.

    CHOICE: / Find a way to free Dave, Alfredo and the others / Escape, leaving Jeremy's friends behind /

  • She left the building anyway to go scouting for drugs, remember when she told Ruth about her plans? Tavia very likely isn't at the settlement anymore

    Oh guys remember to make Tavia's fate ambiguous and have her run into the woods when nobody is looking. We need her alive for the 400 days stuff.

  • I decided to finally bring back some choices, it's been a while since we did that.

    That_1_Guy posted: »

    ''You know, I wasn't expecting any visitors today.'', the man had a slight German accent, ''Your flesh seems rather, juicy. The kids are going

  • I would like to see just a little paragraph describing how she feels when she sees her community burning down.

    TheMissus posted: »

    She left the building anyway to go scouting for drugs, remember when she told Ruth about her plans? Tavia very likely isn't at the settlement anymore

  • edited January 2014

    NOTE: Due to Charlie's sudden death, I am considering roleplaying as Charlie on a forum suited for that:

    http://walkercountryrp.boards.net/

    It was created by someone from this forum, and I thought the people in this thread would appreciate this type of role-playing, seeing as we're all story-writers and lovers.

    That_1_Guy posted: »

    I decided to finally bring back some choices, it's been a while since we did that.

  • Note: Due to an earlier post - whoever is going to be the next: Make sure that in the end Kenny's going to be in the butchers chamber with Jeremy and Pascucci outisde the building peeking through a small window into that chamber

    This somehow contradicts with the story so far because Kenny should be in this room with Pascucci outside

    That_1_Guy posted: »

    ''You know, I wasn't expecting any visitors today.'', the man had a slight German accent, ''Your flesh seems rather, juicy. The kids are going

  • Thank you, this is so cool. I'm going to think about joining actually. I will let you know. Can you tell me more about it?

    That_1_Guy posted: »

    NOTE: Due to Charlie's sudden death, I am considering roleplaying as Charlie on a forum suited for that: http://walkercountryrp.boards.net/

  • I actually joined myself already, I'm the character named Charles Mallory.

    There's a lot of information in the ''Forum News, Information & Guidelines'' section of the forum, and honestly, it's almost the same as what we're doing right now, there's just a lot of different stories with different characters. Sadly there's not a lot of members yet but we're gradually growing.

    TheMissus posted: »

    Thank you, this is so cool. I'm going to think about joining actually. I will let you know. Can you tell me more about it?

  • Honestly, I don't understand why Charlie, Kenny and Pascucci came back in the first place. It didn't make sense because Clem was guarding the car, and they didn't know she was in danger.

    I miss Charlie...

    TheMissus posted: »

    Note: Due to an earlier post - whoever is going to be the next: Make sure that in the end Kenny's going to be in the butchers chamber with Jer

  • I'm with you but it's too late now to make changes I guess. Also, there are others which are ok with Charlie's death, so there's nothing we can do about it. I totally agree: it is weird that Charlie, Ken and Pas were in the settlement and in the next post they are back at the car. Just gotta make the best of it.

    Charlie's loss is sad. Though, what bothers me much more are the many errors. We have to be more careful and read all significant posts very closely

    That_1_Guy posted: »

    Honestly, I don't understand why Charlie, Kenny and Pascucci came back in the first place. It didn't make sense because Clem was guarding the car, and they didn't know she was in danger. I miss Charlie...

  • edited January 2014

    What makes it even worse is that I just finished my drawing of Charlie yesterday. I'll post the pictures later, as some kind of tribute. The next drawing I make will be of Jeremy.

    Just to make clear the way I intended Jeremy was an African-american, with a beard and he is kind of muscly. (That's my interpretation, so don't be mad if it doesn't fit your description.)

    TheMissus posted: »

    I'm with you but it's too late now to make changes I guess. Also, there are others which are ok with Charlie's death, so there's nothing we ca

  • Yes, please - I'd like to see your drawing

    That_1_Guy posted: »

    What makes it even worse is that I just finished my drawing of Charlie yesterday. I'll post the pictures later, as some kind of tribute. The n

  • Yea guys the whole point of this is to make something out of the last post.

    If it makes 0 sense(like some guy earlier said Kenny got bit and survived for 4 days -.-) then ignore it but if you can make it work, well, make it work.

  • I'm probably going to make Jeremy's today, and then I'll release both in one batch. I would also like to make Pascucci later on, especially if he gets a bigger role in the story.

    TheMissus posted: »

    Yes, please - I'd like to see your drawing

  • Ok, I joined as well, my username's Meryl.

    That_1_Guy posted: »

    I actually joined myself already, I'm the character named Charles Mallory. There's a lot of information in the ''Forum News, Information &a

  • You know, Charlie's death made me realize one thing. This story is really good.

    I felt genuinely sad about Charlie's death, almost as much as when somebody dies in Telltale's game. Even though I don't always agree with what happens in the story, I'm honored to be a part of this beautiful collaboration, thanks to everyone who worked on it!

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