Ah Adryana. You were so lovely to see, even just for a moment. Not to say that being killed in revenge of another character was unacceptable but you definitely had it coming.
Ah, yes, about that... I am sorry for not giving her a bigger role. Unfortunately, the amount of submitted characters I've received were far higher than I ever expected. Which is great, on one hand, and disastrous on the other--as fitting them all in to these short parts are a challenge.
Still, she made quite an impact; killing the first, properly named character of the series, and dying at the hands of Asher. I hope you still enjoyed it, anyway! and apologies, once more.
Ah Adryana. You were so lovely to see, even just for a moment. Not to say that being killed in revenge of another character was unacceptable but you definitely had it coming.
There's no need to apologise, I can understand the pains of asking people to submit a character and then receiving an influx of characters that you struggle to incorporate. And yes, despite her having a small role, she didn't go down without a fight.
Well done to you, and I did enjoy Chapter 9. Keep up the good work, I get excited every time I see a new chapter being put up
Ah, yes, about that... I am sorry for not giving her a bigger role. Unfortunately, the amount of submitted characters I've received were far… more higher than I ever expected. Which is great, on one hand, and disastrous on the other--as fitting them all in to these short parts are a challenge.
Still, she made quite an impact; killing the first, properly named character of the series, and dying at the hands of Asher. I hope you still enjoyed it, anyway! and apologies, once more.
There's no need to apologise, I can understand the pains of asking people to submit a character and then receiving an influx of characters t… morehat you struggle to incorporate. And yes, despite her having a small role, she didn't go down without a fight.
Well done to you, and I did enjoy Chapter 9. Keep up the good work, I get excited every time I see a new chapter being put up
Two Brothers
Asher: "Is this the Seven Hells? If it is the Maester owes me an apology. It looks nothing like a realm of dragon fire."
… moreDragon Age Inquisition
Hawke: "If this is the Afterlife the Chantry owes me an apology. This looks nothing like the Makers bosom.
Ah yes, that one! (I'm a huge, huge dragon age fan; and I got that particular line as I had sarcastic-Hawke)
I did have that line in mind when I wrote that -- so well spotted! Your observations continue to impress me.
and my canon Hawke is sarcastic. There was no way I was going to miss that.
Sames, sarky Hawke is best Hawke. And I completely forgot I wrote that line in there, but the second you reminded me, I was like: 'ohh yeah, I did have that Hawke dialogue in mind at the time.'
Dude, I'm the biggest Dragon Age fan
How dare you. Don't make me take this outside!
and my canon Hawke is sarcastic. There wa… mores no way I was going to miss that.
Sames, sarky Hawke is best Hawke. And I completely forgot I wrote that line in there, but the second you reminded me, I was like: 'ohh yeah, I did have that Hawke dialogue in mind at the time.'
Aaaaandddddd Part 10 is up. Unfortunately, I really struggled to find the time to make this one as good as it needed to be. From now on, I'm going to start making sure these are longer, more intriciate, just better written things... even if that means they take longer.
Anyway, enough of my blabbering, hopefully you'll still all enjoy.
Aaaaandddddd Part 10 is up. Unfortunately, I really struggled to find the time to make this one as good as it needed to be. From now on, I'm… more going to start making sure these are longer, more intriciate, just better written things... even if that means they take longer.
Anyway, enough of my blabbering, hopefully you'll still all enjoy.
Kara! Kren! Kara! I did not expect them to appear so soon and this literally made my day From what I saw in this part, I absolutely love the way you write them. I also noticed some interesting parallels between Arkara and Beskha, which I haven't even thought about before. I'm sure their interactions are going to be fun. Naturally, the choice was very hard for me. Ultimately, I decided to refuse to join the ambush. While I'd like to support Beskha and Arkara, I am worried, especially for Kara's safety. As much as I'd like to support her, I don't want to put her into mortal danger just yet. I greatly prefer her unhappy but alive, as opposed to happy but dead. I mean, I believe at least Asher, Beskha and Kara are skilled enough to take on some mooks, but as Kren said, Astapor will come after them in such a case. Perhaps there is a smarter way to achieve vengeance, one that does not include the massacre of a Master in broad daylight. He is going to return to Meereen one day and perhaps they can ambush him on the road outside the city, without alerting any other Master. I just hope that Kara is going to listen to reason. I mean, we know Beskha is going to survive this, but I really hope that Kara does not do something stupid now, something that gets her killed. In any way, both women will be pissed, but if everything works out, then both will be safe for now. I'm sure both can forgive Asher in time.
Rodrik's part was also very nice, although the choice was a lot easier for me. I agree with Agent and chose to save Haytham. Aside from the fact that I really like Haytham and find him to be a nice character, I also think that this evidence is not going to be worth his life. While it is evidence, I don't see it as particularly strong. It's really just a piece of paper, and while a just king like Robb Stark might accept it, I doubt it will be enough to bring any harm to the Whitehills. Ludd can always deny having bribed the Maester and could in turn even claim that the Forrester's bribed him instead to fake the evidence. At worst, he might be forced to sacrifice a pawn like Axel, but this is a gamble I'm not willing to risk Haytham for. If the document is enough to count as evidence, perhaps they can get the Maester's testimony instead.
Aaaaandddddd Part 10 is up. Unfortunately, I really struggled to find the time to make this one as good as it needed to be. From now on, I'm… more going to start making sure these are longer, more intriciate, just better written things... even if that means they take longer.
Anyway, enough of my blabbering, hopefully you'll still all enjoy.
This part was interesting, though it felt a little slow.
Might as well join the ambush. Beskha needs Asher to have her back.
Haytham's… more life isn't worth a piece of paper. I know Ludd said they wouldn't kill Rodrik, but I'm not sure if that applies to Haytham.
I'm glad you liked their portrayal! I tried to match your wonderful descriptions as much as possible, and I will be doing a lot more with them in the future. They're a lot of fun to write. I'm also loving how even the polls are at the moment--it'll be interesting to see which way they finally swing. I do very much like your reasoning, too; sounds very sensible to me, same with the Rodrik one.
My only regret is not finding the time to make Part 10 as big and exciting as I originally planned... but I've gone on about that already.
In any case, thanks for the feedback! I always enjoy your words.
Kara! Kren! Kara! I did not expect them to appear so soon and this literally made my day From what I saw in this part, I absolutely love th… moree way you write them. I also noticed some interesting parallels between Arkara and Beskha, which I haven't even thought about before. I'm sure their interactions are going to be fun. Naturally, the choice was very hard for me. Ultimately, I decided to refuse to join the ambush. While I'd like to support Beskha and Arkara, I am worried, especially for Kara's safety. As much as I'd like to support her, I don't want to put her into mortal danger just yet. I greatly prefer her unhappy but alive, as opposed to happy but dead. I mean, I believe at least Asher, Beskha and Kara are skilled enough to take on some mooks, but as Kren said, Astapor will come after them in such a case. Perhaps there is a smarter way to achieve vengeance, one that does not include the massacre of a Master in broad daylight. He is going… [view original content]
Fighting our way out seems the more fun and interesting option.
It'll certainly be messy!
Writing that letter seems too sneak… morey for my taste.
I get that, I get it... how did you like this part, though, in comparison to the other one's? I know it took agessss.
Amazing part! Both PoV's were wonderful in their own way. With Asher, I especially liked Kara's little speech to the people of Astapor, that felt positively epic. I must admit, I have completely forgotten that we're close to Dany's little trick with the Unsullied. That retroactively changed my opinion on the last choice, as I only picked it because I don't want to provoke the wrath of Astapor. Since the city of Astapor is soon going to have a lot bigger problems than four people running around and killing masters (like, ten thousand people running around and killing masters), I actually liked this outcome very much. As for the choice, I chose to fake fight with Beskha. It's as she said, if they fight their way out, it has all been for nothing. One of them has to win, or else they all basically fucked their entire plan. Naturally, I am interested in how this plan might play out. Aside from that, there is no telling how many guards they have to fight their way through. Even if Kara and Kren help them, that sounds far too dangerous. Especially if Kara and Kren help them, because with them I am always afraid that they might die. Asher and Beskha are going to survive, I know that much, but I don't know what you have planned for Kara and Kren, so naturally I very much prefer to be careful. Because of all of this, the fake fight sounds like the overall better option for me. In case of a fake fight, I am also 100% sure that Asher is going to loose. He's a nice fighter, but he ain't Beskha, especially when he is not fighting seriously. And well, seeing Asher getting his ass handed in a fake fight, this is something I simply have to see
Rodrik's part was awesome in a different way. While Asher had superb action scenes, Rodrik had some very interesting dialogues, which I liked just as much, as well as unexpected character development. It was great to see that he almost managed to achieve both, saving Haytham and the document, but ultimately it was as expected. Robb didn't even seem too interested in learning the truth, so I guess the document wouldn't have served much of a purpose. Now we still have a loyal guy like Haytham around, so that's pretty good. Another great scene in this part was the talk with Axel. I was surprised to see some depth of him, that came unexpected. I mean, I still despise him with a passion, but it was nice to see a marginally different side of him. He feels a lot more fleshed out as a character now. But the absolute highlight was Jaime of course It was great to see him back and as last time, you wrote him perfectly. I could really imagine that scene playing out in my head and it was awesome. For his choice, I chose to confront the Boltons. Writing the letter has little chance of success in my eyes. The problem is that even though people like Torrhen or Axel probably wouldn't believe Jaime, I'm sure that Roose is too smart not to believe him and there's no telling what he might do to prevent this letter from reaching Robb. But confronting him directly might be something he is not necessarily expecting. He's a subtle man and being so blunt might caught him off guard. It will be interesting to see how he squirms out of that. Also, Roose is my favourite antagonist in the show and I'm excited about the possibility to read about him in this story.
Amazing part! Both PoV's were wonderful in their own way.
Thank you! I did try my best to make sure they were both distinct, this time.
With Asher, I especially liked Kara's little speech to the people of Astapor, that felt positively epic.
Yes, I was quite happy with that in the end, it turned out well!
I must admit, I have completely forgotten that we're close to Dany's little trick with the Unsullied. That retroactively changed my opinion on the last choice, as I only picked it because I don't want to provoke the wrath of Astapor. Since the city of Astapor is soon going to have a lot bigger problems than four people running around and killing masters (like, ten thousand people running around and killing masters)
Very true both Rodrik and Asher have actually found themselves in the middle of big events from A Storms of Swords / Season 3, so I'm excited to write their roles in it... and reactions. But, yes, Daenerys is literally pulling her stunt for the Unsullied, while Asher and Beskha are fighting in the pit, so those two things will definitely interplay. I would like to do more, truth be told, but obviously in-canon; Asher hasn't seen a dragon or met Daenerys until the game, so... no dice.
seeing Asher getting his ass handed in a fake fight, this is something I simply have to see
Well, it's winning in the polls, at the moment--so we'll see! It'll definitely be interesting to see whether she holds back or not, in the fight.
Another great scene in this part was the talk with Axel. I was surprised to see some depth of him, that came unexpected. I mean, I still despise him with a passion, but it was nice to see a marginally different side of him. He feels a lot more fleshed out as a character now.
Yes, I enjoyed writing that other side to him - and I'm glad to hear it fleshed him out more, that was the intent, after all. Hopefully, it is just the start of him coming into his own as a character... for good or ill.
But the absolute highlight was Jaime of course It was great to see him back and as last time, you wrote him perfectly. I could really imagine that scene playing out in my head and it was awesome.
I thought you'd be happy to see Jaime again! (Just like I was happy to be writing Jaime again!) I'm glad you liked it.
For his choice, I chose to confront the Boltons. Writing the letter has little chance of success in my eyes. The problem is that even though people like Torrhen or Axel probably wouldn't believe Jaime, I'm sure that Roose is too smart not to believe him and there's no telling what he might do to prevent this letter from reaching Robb. But confronting him directly might be something he is not necessarily expecting. He's a subtle man and being so blunt might caught him off guard. It will be interesting to see how he squirms out of that. Also, Roose is my favourite antagonist in the show and I'm excited about the possibility to read about him in this story.
All of that makes a lot of sense to me. And Roose Bolton has been in it before, but he's never really done or said much... but that will be changing. Thanks for the feedback! As ever, I really appreciate it!
Amazing part! Both PoV's were wonderful in their own way. With Asher, I especially liked Kara's little speech to the people of Astapor, that… more felt positively epic. I must admit, I have completely forgotten that we're close to Dany's little trick with the Unsullied. That retroactively changed my opinion on the last choice, as I only picked it because I don't want to provoke the wrath of Astapor. Since the city of Astapor is soon going to have a lot bigger problems than four people running around and killing masters (like, ten thousand people running around and killing masters), I actually liked this outcome very much. As for the choice, I chose to fake fight with Beskha. It's as she said, if they fight their way out, it has all been for nothing. One of them has to win, or else they all basically fucked their entire plan. Naturally, I am interested in how this plan might play out. Aside from that, there is no telling how many guards they have to… [view original content]
It is my intention to include all the submitted characters but, as you say, I do have loads of them... plus, these parts are pretty short and I take long enough making them as it is. That aside, though, both Mortimer and his father Quemar will appear in the near future; I promise! And I'll do my best to give them as large a role as I can. Thanks for reading!
I have just have to say what you have came up with for Axel has been phenomenal! I had a very rough idea of what i wanted and you ran with it and have improved him immensely!! I love how you have made him more human showing some kind of emotional struggle within him along with being an arrogant bully which i do enjoy! Overall I just had to let you know how well you have done with Axel and the entire story as a whole now hopefully we will see some Rodrik and Roose interaction!
Hey, it's been a while since I've heard from you! I didn't even know if you were still following along - but I'm glad you are! And even more glad to hear those kind words. They mean a lot.
hopefully we will see some Rodrik and Roose interaction!
I have just have to say what you have came up with for Axel has been phenomenal! I had a very rough idea of what i wanted and you ran with i… moret and have improved him immensely!! I love how you have made him more human showing some kind of emotional struggle within him along with being an arrogant bully which i do enjoy! Overall I just had to let you know how well you have done with Axel and the entire story as a whole now hopefully we will see some Rodrik and Roose interaction!
Oh yes of course this story is actually what made me want to make an account here!! I have primarily just been waiting for the right time to chime in! It is no problem at all. I applaud the dedication and time it must take to make a story like this plus the fact that it is so well written is a huge plus!!
Does Robb not care about what really happened because it's getting closer to the "Wedding" and he's stressed out?
Yes, there's a lot of reasons, that being one of them. Another is because of the whole mess with the Stone Mill -- where the Mountain got away. (Robb planned to kill him there) Also, because--as he tells Rodrik--Roose Bolton hasn't sent a raven in weeks, and no news at all has come out of Harrenhal. He basically had just got to the point where he couldn't care less about whatever may or may not, be going on between the Forrester's and Whitehills. That document might have changed his mind, but obviously, that was not meant to be. :P
I also didn't expect Ser Axel to be remotely poetic but huh, he surprised me.
That was the intent he's come a long way.
I imagine Asher and Beskha will be heading back to Yunkai, or wherever, after the whole Astapor situation.
Well, yes I'll have to get them there sooner or later, of course. I believe The Lost Lords take place around the first episode of Season 4, so I'll be sure to get him and Beskha there, for then. Thanks for reading by the way! (I still feel guilty about Adryana)
Does Robb not care about what really happened because it's getting closer to the "Wedding" and he's stressed out?
I also didn't expect Se… morer Axel to be remotely poetic but huh, he surprised me.
I imagine Asher and Beskha will be heading back to Yunkai, or wherever, after the whole Astapor situation.
As always, great part. The fight between Asher and Beskha ended as expected, even though he gets badass points for holding his own quite well against her. You actually managed to surprise me with how good he fought. That went pretty smoothly, even smoother than I thought and I guess that really shows what a great team Asher and Beskha are. I also liked the sack of Astapor from this new perspective. The whole scene is one of my favourites in book and show, but here the aftermath felt less epic and more scary and this change of perspective was quite interesting. I also loved the very small glimpse of Daenerys we got For the choice, I easily chose Kara, because I greatly prefer to keep her safe, or at least safe-ish. Kren is great and I like him a lot as well, but I like Kara more and have the bad feeling that only one of them is making it out of this. So far, it all went a little too smoothly. Kren is the inferior fighter, but Kara is the more reckless sibling and out for blood, so she definitely needs someone to keep her in line. Of course I'm afraid for Kren's live as well, but he at least has a chance on his own despite being not the best fighter, because I doubt he will pick a fight he can't win. Perhaps I am wrong and both survive this day, but I always like to plan for the worst-case scenario. So, if only one of them makes it out alive, I'd greatly prefer for Kara to survive. Giving her back-up in the form of Asher is definitely making her chances a lot better and hopefully that's going to be enough.
And Rodrik's part... man Roose Bolton gave me the chills. He's one of the characters where I like the show version more than the books, mostly because of McElhatton's incredible performance. It was easy to imagine that scene with him in mind and it was chilling, knowing what's going to happen in the future. Another aspect I loved in this part was Axel. Hell, I never thought that he could ever even start to redeem himself, but kudos, he kinda did. A part of me still hates him, because of the whole child-murderer part and I guess he's never going to be able to fully redeem himself from this, but well, you definitely managed to turn him from a morally black character into a more grey-ish area. I'm not ashamed to admit that I even like him now, at least a little bit. If I would have had already followed the story back when the choice came up, I probably would have voted to kill him back after he killed that girl, but now I am glad that a majority voted to spare him. The fact that I now have a new character I love to hate makes liking Axel a lot easier. Mortimer is a creepy bastard, but a creepy awesome bastard. He seems to be every bit as bad as I thought Axel was. Anyway, as much as it pains me, I chose to accept Torrhen's offer. About that, it is also good to see more layers in Torrhen. I love how you give the Whitehills more depth in the story, while still keeping Ludd and Gryff canonical. As for my choice, we all know how it is going to end. Roose Bolton will slaughter the northern army at the twins and refusing this offer won't stop him. And while Rodrik ultimately has to survive, I am sure that refusing this offer will have dire consequences for Haytham and Axel, both of which I like a lot by now.
As always, great part. The fight between Asher and Beskha ended as expected, even though he gets badass points for holding his own quite well against her. You actually managed to surprise me with how good he fought.
Thank you and well they're both shown to be extremely skilled, it just seemed to me, under those conditions, there was noway Beskha wouldn't come out on top, even if it was by an inch, and not a mile.
also loved the very small glimpse of Daenerys we got For the choice, I easily chose Kara, because I greatly prefer to keep her safe, or at least safe-ish. Kren is great and I like him a lot as well, but I like Kara more and have the bad feeling that only one of them is making it out of this.
I wasn't going to include Daenerys in any form - but I thought, in the end, oh, why not? And I was wondering which of the two you would choose! I think it's quite a difficult decision, really, you have someone who needs physical back-up. and someone who needs mental back-up, in others words Krendak needs to be protected from the enemy, and Arkara needs to be protected from herself. I like your logic on the situation, though.
And Rodrik's part... man Roose Bolton gave me the chills. He's one of the characters where I like the show version more than the books, mostly because of McElhatton's incredible performance. It was easy to imagine that scene with him in mind and it was chilling, knowing what's going to happen in the future.
I know he wasn't in it much, but I hoped Roose Bolton made an impact--and it seemed he did! And I also enjoy the show's version of his character best, that dry, dark humour, and of course, as you say, McElhatton's great performance. And with the foresight of knowing what happens in the future, hopefully these scenes are lent an even darker tone.
Another aspect I loved in this part was Axel. Hell, I never thought that he could ever even start to redeem himself, but kudos, he kinda did. A part of me still hates him, because of the whole child-murderer part and I guess he's never going to be able to fully redeem himself from this, but well, you definitely managed to turn him from a morally black character into a more grey-ish area. I'm not ashamed to admit that I even like him now, at least a little bit.
It's fun writing Axel because, on one hand, he's slightly sympathetic, and even heroic in a way--but he's still a Whitehill, still a child-murderer and a liar, so he's pretty conflicted in terms of morality now. We shall have to see what kind of person he truly ends up being but I am loving writing his transformation, and reading about it from you lot, as well.
The fact that I now have a new character I love to hate makes liking Axel a lot easier. Mortimer is a creepy bastard, but a creepy awesome bastard. He seems to be every bit as bad as I thought Axel was.
I figured with Axel becoming more grey, we needed someone truly hateful to take his place. Hence, Mortimer Warrick, exiled bannerman of House Whitehill, torturer-for-hire, and all-around, lovely fella came into play. I have big plans for him, one's that are entirely different depending on the "accept" or "refuse" choice - so I look forward to seeing even more reaction's to his character.
Anyway, as much as it pains me, I chose to accept Torrhen's offer. About that, it is also good to see more layers in Torrhen. I love how you give the Whitehills more depth in the story, while still keeping Ludd and Gryff canonical. As for my choice, we all know how it is going to end. Roose Bolton will slaughter the northern army at the twins and refusing this offer won't stop him. And while Rodrik ultimately has to survive, I am sure that refusing this offer will have dire consequences for Haytham and Axel, both of which I like a lot by now.
I understand that--I mean, I am surprised so many people voted "Accept," but I understand why. Obviously, you know Rodrik is going to make it out - Haytham and Axel, however, they have no such guarantees... so it makes sense to make this painful, albeit necessary sacrifice, for their greater good. But I also liked the fact we got to see Torrhen--very much like Gwyn Whitehill--still being fundamentally for peace between their houses, in his heart of hearts, even if he's still far from perfect. And thank you for saying I've added more depth to them - I did try my best As always, thanks for reading!
As always, great part. The fight between Asher and Beskha ended as expected, even though he gets badass points for holding his own quite wel… morel against her. You actually managed to surprise me with how good he fought. That went pretty smoothly, even smoother than I thought and I guess that really shows what a great team Asher and Beskha are. I also liked the sack of Astapor from this new perspective. The whole scene is one of my favourites in book and show, but here the aftermath felt less epic and more scary and this change of perspective was quite interesting. I also loved the very small glimpse of Daenerys we got For the choice, I easily chose Kara, because I greatly prefer to keep her safe, or at least safe-ish. Kren is great and I like him a lot as well, but I like Kara more and have the bad feeling that only one of them is making it out of this. So far, it all went a little too smoothly. Kren is the inferior fighter, but Kara is the more… [view original content]
I choose Arkara because... well I don't have a real reason. XD I could go either way to be honest.
Reject! Rodrik shall never yeild! I fe… moreel bad for Axel though, as he helped out.
I loved the Gwyn reference. I can't help but imagine what Gwyn and Asher were like together. I imagine a lot of mischevous banter.
I chose Kara largely because I think her and Asher together can do the most damage!!
Rodrik's part took quite the turn I mean Ser Axel Whitehill standing up for Rodrik Forrester to his own family and Roose Bolton!? I never would have dreamed that but it was amazing nonetheless! You hit upon two thoughts i had of Axel that I didn't even include in his bio but should have. With those being that Axel's hate for the Forrester's came from the fact that he was always taught that he was supposed to but he never really understood why and the fact that you mentioned that Ludd saved him from death the second time! I considered Ludd to be the closest thing to a father figure Axel ever had with Axel caring about him more than he really did anyone with him being someone who mostly cared about himself which is what made him helping Rodrik such an intriguing turn of events for me! You have gave Axel way more time than i thought he would get with him being a pretty significant part of Rodrik's story and now im just hoping the poor guy doesn't get flayed since he's possibly turned the corner and that the phrase "A Whitehill is still a Whitehill" rings true even after what he just did! Overall though the chapter was excellent the image of Rodrik, Haytham, and Axel being surrounded by Whitehills and Boltons in Harrenhal was such an wild sight and the intro of House Warrick and the backstory on them has just made this story really interesting with Mortimer making Axel look like a saint! I am so intrigued to see where both stories go from here with the "Red Wedding" coming very soon it is really anyone's guess.. except yours of course!
I chose Kara largely because I think her and Asher together can do the most damage!!
Makes sense to me!
Rodrik's part took quite the turn I mean Ser Axel Whitehill standing up for Rodrik Forrester to his own family and Roose Bolton!? I never would have dreamed that but it was amazing nonetheless!
I'm glad you liked it! It just felt right somehow, that, after everything that's happened, he would do that.
With those being that Axel's hate for the Forrester's came from the fact that he was always taught that he was supposed to but he never really understood why and the fact that you mentioned that Ludd saved him from death the second time!
It seems we had the same sort of interpretation, then! I mean Axel still loves his house, and Ludd especially, but that doesn't make him blind to the fact the Forrester's are decent people, worthy of being helped. Plus, he feels he owes them, to an extent.
You have gave Axel way more time than i thought he would get
That's more down to your credit for making such an interesting character he really has taken on a life of his own.
Overall though the chapter was excellent the image of Rodrik, Haytham, and Axel being surrounded by Whitehills and Boltons in Harrenhal was such an wild sight and the intro of House Warrick and the backstory on them has just made this story really interesting with Mortimer making Axel look like a saint! I am so intrigued to see where both stories go from here with the "Red Wedding" coming very soon it is really anyone's guess.. except yours of course!
Haha, of course! :P The Red Wedding is certainly getting closer and closer, though, so it's pretty exciting. Especially now with the fates of Axel, Haytham and Mortimer up in the air. Thanks again for reading!
I chose Kara largely because I think her and Asher together can do the most damage!!
Rodrik's part took quite the turn I mean Ser Axel Wh… moreitehill standing up for Rodrik Forrester to his own family and Roose Bolton!? I never would have dreamed that but it was amazing nonetheless! You hit upon two thoughts i had of Axel that I didn't even include in his bio but should have. With those being that Axel's hate for the Forrester's came from the fact that he was always taught that he was supposed to but he never really understood why and the fact that you mentioned that Ludd saved him from death the second time! I considered Ludd to be the closest thing to a father figure Axel ever had with Axel caring about him more than he really did anyone with him being someone who mostly cared about himself which is what made him helping Rodrik such an intriguing turn of events for me! You have gave Axel way more time than i thought he would get with him bein… [view original content]
I am honestly hooked on this fan-fiction. I've been reading since you posted the first chapter, but I've shied away from commenting. I like how interactive this is, and how you continue the style of TellTale with this work. I do have a question, and pardon me if it has already been asked, but do you write both options for your new chapters? Like, do you have the outcome for both Arkara and Krendak written/plotted out, even if one isn't used? I'm just curious, but it's really interesting that the story depends on what people choose. I really enjoy the relationship you've formed between Gared and Rodrik(what a surprise, a comment from me that includes Gared in it), because I've thought little of the two, and it fits really well in my opinion.
Basically, keep up the awesome work! I'm really excited to see what happens to both Asher and Rodrik in future chapters.
Comments
Ah Adryana. You were so lovely to see, even just for a moment. Not to say that being killed in revenge of another character was unacceptable but you definitely had it coming.
Ah, yes, about that... I am sorry for not giving her a bigger role. Unfortunately, the amount of submitted characters I've received were far higher than I ever expected. Which is great, on one hand, and disastrous on the other--as fitting them all in to these short parts are a challenge.
Still, she made quite an impact; killing the first, properly named character of the series, and dying at the hands of Asher. I hope you still enjoyed it, anyway!
and apologies, once more.
There's no need to apologise, I can understand the pains of asking people to submit a character and then receiving an influx of characters that you struggle to incorporate. And yes, despite her having a small role, she didn't go down without a fight.
Well done to you, and I did enjoy Chapter 9. Keep up the good work, I get excited every time I see a new chapter being put up
Well, I still feel really bad about it, anyway :P
But thank you so much!
That's great to hear. And I'll be sure to keep on, keeping on!
One of the lines in this part reminded me so much of a line from Dragon Age Inquisition that I wonder if you took inspiration from that line.
What line?
Two Brothers
Asher: "Is this the Seven Hells? If it is the Maester owes me an apology. It looks nothing like a realm of dragon fire."
Dragon Age Inquisition
Hawke: "If this is the Afterlife the Chantry owes me an apology. This looks nothing like the Makers bosom.
Ah yes, that one! (I'm a huge, huge dragon age fan; and I got that particular line as I had sarcastic-Hawke)
I did have that line in mind when I wrote that -- so well spotted! Your observations continue to impress me.
Dude, I'm the biggest Dragon Age fan, and my canon Hawke is sarcastic. There was no way I was going to miss that.
How dare you. Don't make me take this outside!
Sames, sarky Hawke is best Hawke.
And I completely forgot I wrote that line in there, but the second you reminded me, I was like: 'ohh yeah, I did have that Hawke dialogue in mind at the time.'
If you ever feel like talking about DA be sure to PM me. I'd love to talk about it. ^_^
Aaaaandddddd Part 10 is up. Unfortunately, I really struggled to find the time to make this one as good as it needed to be. From now on, I'm going to start making sure these are longer, more intriciate, just better written things... even if that means they take longer.
Anyway, enough of my blabbering, hopefully you'll still all enjoy.
This part was interesting, though it felt a little slow.
Might as well join the ambush. Beskha needs Asher to have her back.
Haytham's life isn't worth a piece of paper. I know Ludd said they wouldn't kill Rodrik, but I'm not sure if that applies to Haytham.
Kara! Kren! Kara! I did not expect them to appear so soon and this literally made my day
From what I saw in this part, I absolutely love the way you write them. I also noticed some interesting parallels between Arkara and Beskha, which I haven't even thought about before. I'm sure their interactions are going to be fun. Naturally, the choice was very hard for me. Ultimately, I decided to refuse to join the ambush. While I'd like to support Beskha and Arkara, I am worried, especially for Kara's safety. As much as I'd like to support her, I don't want to put her into mortal danger just yet. I greatly prefer her unhappy but alive, as opposed to happy but dead. I mean, I believe at least Asher, Beskha and Kara are skilled enough to take on some mooks, but as Kren said, Astapor will come after them in such a case. Perhaps there is a smarter way to achieve vengeance, one that does not include the massacre of a Master in broad daylight. He is going to return to Meereen one day and perhaps they can ambush him on the road outside the city, without alerting any other Master. I just hope that Kara is going to listen to reason. I mean, we know Beskha is going to survive this, but I really hope that Kara does not do something stupid now, something that gets her killed. In any way, both women will be pissed, but if everything works out, then both will be safe for now. I'm sure both can forgive Asher in time.
Rodrik's part was also very nice, although the choice was a lot easier for me. I agree with Agent and chose to save Haytham. Aside from the fact that I really like Haytham and find him to be a nice character, I also think that this evidence is not going to be worth his life. While it is evidence, I don't see it as particularly strong. It's really just a piece of paper, and while a just king like Robb Stark might accept it, I doubt it will be enough to bring any harm to the Whitehills. Ludd can always deny having bribed the Maester and could in turn even claim that the Forrester's bribed him instead to fake the evidence. At worst, he might be forced to sacrifice a pawn like Axel, but this is a gamble I'm not willing to risk Haytham for. If the document is enough to count as evidence, perhaps they can get the Maester's testimony instead.
Yes, I'll openly admit, this part was quite rushed. Still, as ever, I like your reasons.
I'm glad you liked their portrayal! I tried to match your wonderful descriptions as much as possible, and I will be doing a lot more with them in the future. They're a lot of fun to write. I'm also loving how even the polls are at the moment--it'll be interesting to see which way they finally swing. I do very much like your reasoning, too; sounds very sensible to me, same with the Rodrik one.
My only regret is not finding the time to make Part 10 as big and exciting as I originally planned... but I've gone on about that already.
In any case, thanks for the feedback! I always enjoy your words.
Haytham's life is more worth than the piece of paper >.>
Aaaaandddddd Part 11 is up (I've gotten slow, I know). Anyway, enjoy!
I have a real writting talent! I really anjoyed reading the chapter!
Thank you!
Fighting our way out seems the more fun and interesting option.
Writing that letter seems too sneaky for my taste.
It'll certainly be messy!
I get that, I get it... how did you like this part, though, in comparison to the other one's? I know it took agessss.
I liked it. I know I usually comment on chapters, but I didn't have much to say.
Amazing part! Both PoV's were wonderful in their own way. With Asher, I especially liked Kara's little speech to the people of Astapor, that felt positively epic. I must admit, I have completely forgotten that we're close to Dany's little trick with the Unsullied. That retroactively changed my opinion on the last choice, as I only picked it because I don't want to provoke the wrath of Astapor. Since the city of Astapor is soon going to have a lot bigger problems than four people running around and killing masters (like, ten thousand people running around and killing masters), I actually liked this outcome very much. As for the choice, I chose to fake fight with Beskha. It's as she said, if they fight their way out, it has all been for nothing. One of them has to win, or else they all basically fucked their entire plan. Naturally, I am interested in how this plan might play out. Aside from that, there is no telling how many guards they have to fight their way through. Even if Kara and Kren help them, that sounds far too dangerous. Especially if Kara and Kren help them, because with them I am always afraid that they might die. Asher and Beskha are going to survive, I know that much, but I don't know what you have planned for Kara and Kren, so naturally I very much prefer to be careful. Because of all of this, the fake fight sounds like the overall better option for me. In case of a fake fight, I am also 100% sure that Asher is going to loose. He's a nice fighter, but he ain't Beskha, especially when he is not fighting seriously. And well, seeing Asher getting his ass handed in a fake fight, this is something I simply have to see
Rodrik's part was awesome in a different way. While Asher had superb action scenes, Rodrik had some very interesting dialogues, which I liked just as much, as well as unexpected character development. It was great to see that he almost managed to achieve both, saving Haytham and the document, but ultimately it was as expected. Robb didn't even seem too interested in learning the truth, so I guess the document wouldn't have served much of a purpose. Now we still have a loyal guy like Haytham around, so that's pretty good. Another great scene in this part was the talk with Axel. I was surprised to see some depth of him, that came unexpected. I mean, I still despise him with a passion, but it was nice to see a marginally different side of him. He feels a lot more fleshed out as a character now. But the absolute highlight was Jaime of course
It was great to see him back and as last time, you wrote him perfectly. I could really imagine that scene playing out in my head and it was awesome. For his choice, I chose to confront the Boltons. Writing the letter has little chance of success in my eyes. The problem is that even though people like Torrhen or Axel probably wouldn't believe Jaime, I'm sure that Roose is too smart not to believe him and there's no telling what he might do to prevent this letter from reaching Robb. But confronting him directly might be something he is not necessarily expecting. He's a subtle man and being so blunt might caught him off guard. It will be interesting to see how he squirms out of that. Also, Roose is my favourite antagonist in the show and I'm excited about the possibility to read about him in this story.
Thank you!
I did try my best to make sure they were both distinct, this time.
Yes, I was quite happy with that in the end, it turned out well!
Very true
both Rodrik and Asher have actually found themselves in the middle of big events from A Storms of Swords / Season 3, so I'm excited to write their roles in it... and reactions. But, yes, Daenerys is literally pulling her stunt for the Unsullied, while Asher and Beskha are fighting in the pit, so those two things will definitely interplay. I would like to do more, truth be told, but obviously in-canon; Asher hasn't seen a dragon or met Daenerys until the game, so... no dice.
Well, it's winning in the polls, at the moment--so we'll see!
It'll definitely be interesting to see whether she holds back or not, in the fight.
Yes, I enjoyed writing that other side to him - and I'm glad to hear it fleshed him out more, that was the intent, after all. Hopefully, it is just the start of him coming into his own as a character... for good or ill.
I thought you'd be happy to see Jaime again! (Just like I was happy to be writing Jaime again!) I'm glad you liked it.
All of that makes a lot of sense to me.
And Roose Bolton has been in it before, but he's never really done or said much... but that will be changing. Thanks for the feedback! As ever, I really appreciate it!
Oh! Sorry! I meant you have a writing talent)))
It is my intention to include all the submitted characters
but, as you say, I do have loads of them... plus, these parts are pretty short and I take long enough making them as it is. That aside, though, both Mortimer and his father Quemar will appear in the near future; I promise! And I'll do my best to give them as large a role as I can. Thanks for reading!
I have just have to say what you have came up with for Axel has been phenomenal! I had a very rough idea of what i wanted and you ran with it and have improved him immensely!! I love how you have made him more human showing some kind of emotional struggle within him along with being an arrogant bully which i do enjoy! Overall I just had to let you know how well you have done with Axel and the entire story as a whole now hopefully we will see some Rodrik and Roose interaction!
Hey, it's been a while since I've heard from you! I didn't even know if you were still following along - but I'm glad you are! And even more glad to hear those kind words. They mean a lot.
Stay tuned
Oh yes of course this story is actually what made me want to make an account here!! I have primarily just been waiting for the right time to chime in! It is no problem at all. I applaud the dedication and time it must take to make a story like this plus the fact that it is so well written is a huge plus!!
Does Robb not care about what really happened because it's getting closer to the "Wedding" and he's stressed out?
I also didn't expect Ser Axel to be remotely poetic but huh, he surprised me.
I imagine Asher and Beskha will be heading back to Yunkai, or wherever, after the whole Astapor situation.
Yes, there's a lot of reasons, that being one of them.
Another is because of the whole mess with the Stone Mill -- where the Mountain got away. (Robb planned to kill him there) Also, because--as he tells Rodrik--Roose Bolton hasn't sent a raven in weeks, and no news at all has come out of Harrenhal. He basically had just got to the point where he couldn't care less about whatever may or may not, be going on between the Forrester's and Whitehills. That document might have changed his mind, but obviously, that was not meant to be. :P
That was the intent
he's come a long way.
Well, yes I'll have to get them there sooner or later, of course. I believe The Lost Lords take place around the first episode of Season 4, so I'll be sure to get him and Beskha there, for then. Thanks for reading by the way! (I still feel guilty about Adryana)
Aaaaandddddd Part 12 is up (I wasn't slow this time, right!?) enjoy!
I choose Arkara because... well I don't have a real reason. XD I could go either way to be honest.
Reject! Rodrik shall never yeild! I feel bad for Axel though, as he helped out.
I loved the Gwyn reference. I can't help but imagine what Gwyn and Asher were like together. I imagine a lot of mischevous banter.
As always, great part. The fight between Asher and Beskha ended as expected, even though he gets badass points for holding his own quite well against her. You actually managed to surprise me with how good he fought. That went pretty smoothly, even smoother than I thought and I guess that really shows what a great team Asher and Beskha are. I also liked the sack of Astapor from this new perspective. The whole scene is one of my favourites in book and show, but here the aftermath felt less epic and more scary and this change of perspective was quite interesting. I also loved the very small glimpse of Daenerys we got
For the choice, I easily chose Kara, because I greatly prefer to keep her safe, or at least safe-ish. Kren is great and I like him a lot as well, but I like Kara more and have the bad feeling that only one of them is making it out of this. So far, it all went a little too smoothly. Kren is the inferior fighter, but Kara is the more reckless sibling and out for blood, so she definitely needs someone to keep her in line. Of course I'm afraid for Kren's live as well, but he at least has a chance on his own despite being not the best fighter, because I doubt he will pick a fight he can't win. Perhaps I am wrong and both survive this day, but I always like to plan for the worst-case scenario. So, if only one of them makes it out alive, I'd greatly prefer for Kara to survive. Giving her back-up in the form of Asher is definitely making her chances a lot better and hopefully that's going to be enough.
And Rodrik's part... man Roose Bolton gave me the chills. He's one of the characters where I like the show version more than the books, mostly because of McElhatton's incredible performance. It was easy to imagine that scene with him in mind and it was chilling, knowing what's going to happen in the future. Another aspect I loved in this part was Axel. Hell, I never thought that he could ever even start to redeem himself, but kudos, he kinda did. A part of me still hates him, because of the whole child-murderer part and I guess he's never going to be able to fully redeem himself from this, but well, you definitely managed to turn him from a morally black character into a more grey-ish area. I'm not ashamed to admit that I even like him now, at least a little bit. If I would have had already followed the story back when the choice came up, I probably would have voted to kill him back after he killed that girl, but now I am glad that a majority voted to spare him. The fact that I now have a new character I love to hate makes liking Axel a lot easier. Mortimer is a creepy bastard, but a creepy awesome bastard. He seems to be every bit as bad as I thought Axel was. Anyway, as much as it pains me, I chose to accept Torrhen's offer. About that, it is also good to see more layers in Torrhen. I love how you give the Whitehills more depth in the story, while still keeping Ludd and Gryff canonical. As for my choice, we all know how it is going to end. Roose Bolton will slaughter the northern army at the twins and refusing this offer won't stop him. And while Rodrik ultimately has to survive, I am sure that refusing this offer will have dire consequences for Haytham and Axel, both of which I like a lot by now.
Thank you
and well they're both shown to be extremely skilled, it just seemed to me, under those conditions, there was noway Beskha wouldn't come out on top, even if it was by an inch, and not a mile.
I wasn't going to include Daenerys in any form - but I thought, in the end, oh, why not? And I was wondering which of the two you would choose! I think it's quite a difficult decision, really, you have someone who needs physical back-up. and someone who needs mental back-up, in others words Krendak needs to be protected from the enemy, and Arkara needs to be protected from herself. I like your logic on the situation, though.
I know he wasn't in it much, but I hoped Roose Bolton made an impact--and it seemed he did! And I also enjoy the show's version of his character best, that dry, dark humour, and of course, as you say, McElhatton's great performance. And with the foresight of knowing what happens in the future, hopefully these scenes are lent an even darker tone.
It's fun writing Axel because, on one hand, he's slightly sympathetic, and even heroic in a way--but he's still a Whitehill, still a child-murderer and a liar, so he's pretty conflicted in terms of morality now. We shall have to see what kind of person he truly ends up being
but I am loving writing his transformation, and reading about it from you lot, as well.
I figured with Axel becoming more grey, we needed someone truly hateful to take his place. Hence, Mortimer Warrick, exiled bannerman of House Whitehill, torturer-for-hire, and all-around, lovely fella came into play. I have big plans for him, one's that are entirely different depending on the "accept" or "refuse" choice - so I look forward to seeing even more reaction's to his character.
I understand that--I mean, I am surprised so many people voted "Accept," but I understand why. Obviously, you know Rodrik is going to make it out - Haytham and Axel, however, they have no such guarantees... so it makes sense to make this painful, albeit necessary sacrifice, for their greater good. But I also liked the fact we got to see Torrhen--very much like Gwyn Whitehill--still being fundamentally for peace between their houses, in his heart of hearts, even if he's still far from perfect. And thank you for saying I've added more depth to them - I did try my best
As always, thanks for reading!
Fair enough
you either have keep an eye on the hot-head, or the inferior fighter, there's no right answer, really.
Yes, Rodrik the Unbroken! I'd do the same, as well - not that I can blame me for voting accept. It's probably the smarter option, but we shall see.
I love the relationship between Asher and Gwyn, and I think you're right, there very likely would be!
Thanks, again, for reading!
I chose Kara largely because I think her and Asher together can do the most damage!!
Rodrik's part took quite the turn I mean Ser Axel Whitehill standing up for Rodrik Forrester to his own family and Roose Bolton!? I never would have dreamed that but it was amazing nonetheless! You hit upon two thoughts i had of Axel that I didn't even include in his bio but should have. With those being that Axel's hate for the Forrester's came from the fact that he was always taught that he was supposed to but he never really understood why and the fact that you mentioned that Ludd saved him from death the second time! I considered Ludd to be the closest thing to a father figure Axel ever had with Axel caring about him more than he really did anyone with him being someone who mostly cared about himself which is what made him helping Rodrik such an intriguing turn of events for me! You have gave Axel way more time than i thought he would get with him being a pretty significant part of Rodrik's story and now im just hoping the poor guy doesn't get flayed since he's possibly turned the corner and that the phrase "A Whitehill is still a Whitehill" rings true even after what he just did! Overall though the chapter was excellent the image of Rodrik, Haytham, and Axel being surrounded by Whitehills and Boltons in Harrenhal was such an wild sight and the intro of House Warrick and the backstory on them has just made this story really interesting with Mortimer making Axel look like a saint! I am so intrigued to see where both stories go from here with the "Red Wedding" coming very soon it is really anyone's guess.. except yours of course!
Makes sense to me!
I'm glad you liked it! It just felt right somehow, that, after everything that's happened, he would do that.
It seems we had the same sort of interpretation, then! I mean Axel still loves his house, and Ludd especially, but that doesn't make him blind to the fact the Forrester's are decent people, worthy of being helped. Plus, he feels he owes them, to an extent.
That's more down to your credit for making such an interesting character
he really has taken on a life of his own.
Haha, of course! :P The Red Wedding is certainly getting closer and closer, though, so it's pretty exciting. Especially now with the fates of Axel, Haytham and Mortimer up in the air. Thanks again for reading!
I am honestly hooked on this fan-fiction. I've been reading since you posted the first chapter, but I've shied away from commenting. I like how interactive this is, and how you continue the style of TellTale with this work. I do have a question, and pardon me if it has already been asked, but do you write both options for your new chapters? Like, do you have the outcome for both Arkara and Krendak written/plotted out, even if one isn't used? I'm just curious, but it's really interesting that the story depends on what people choose. I really enjoy the relationship you've formed between Gared and Rodrik(what a surprise, a comment from me that includes Gared in it), because I've thought little of the two, and it fits really well in my opinion.
Basically, keep up the awesome work! I'm really excited to see what happens to both Asher and Rodrik in future chapters.