I won't quote everything you said, instead I'll reply bit by bit (otherwise this post would stretch on forever :P)
This is a clever idea. Perhaps I should keep it the same way with my answer
Obviously, I think you did the right choice with how you decided to show Nyx' badassery. Anyone could have killed Kara and especially Kren. While they are good, they are not perfect. Nyx meanwhile took wounds that would have killed half a dozen men and it still took an entire rooftop to kill her. Even I have to admit that this was impressive and likely makes her the physically toughest character in the entire story. That said, I was pretty sure that Nyx would end up killing Kara and the entire fight had me at the edge of my seat. When Beskha trolled Asher after the battle, by claiming they both died... man, you got me there for a second XD
As for the fight alongside Daario, Jorah and Grey Worm, I was hoping for a Jorah to appear in the story and partially took the Dany option to have either him or Barristan appearing, so that was an extra bonus for me. And well, this is now my headcanon as to how these three got out of there alive.
I definitely loved the ending for Asher's storyline. I was hoping for something like this, though it ended up happier than I thought. There was still a bittersweet streak to prevent things from getting too happy (and non-canon), which I enjoyed a lot as well. Now I have my headcanon with the siblings living their happy life in Dorne (hopefully far away from anything even remotely related to the "plot" of show-Dorne) and that is awesome. And you did really outstanding work with the dialogue, in both storylines! The characters themselves are already colourful, but the dialogue really brought them to live.
Axel was a brilliant character! It is unsurprising that a majority seems to share this opinion in the polls, because he really had a strong presence and came a long way over the course of the story. I think no one expected him to end up that sympathetic. I know, I certainly didn't, until I suddenly started to like him XD Out of interest, since there was no way for Haytham to survive, what would have happened at the Red Wedding if we would have saved Axel in the first fight against Mortimer? Was there any chance for him to survive? And since I'm in a question mood right now, there is one other thing I ended up being curious about: In Asher's part, what would have happened if they would have agreed to Bezzaq's terms and ended up fighting for him?
This idea you have for an entirely new story sounds intriguing! In the end, I still absolutely think you should decide, though this is the option I would personally prefer. It sounds like it'll give you the greatest freedom to write the story into any direction. Whatever it is you decide to write next, I know I'm going to enjoy it. Also, kudos for managing to include every submitted character in some way. There was limited space for each of them, but you did the best out of it! In any way, I'm looking forward for the next story
Wow. Just wow. Forget what I said about the last part. This is undoubtedly and by far my favourite part in the entire story.
Well, i… moret was certainly the longest. But I hoped you would say that. Thanks! I tried to cover everything I could, this being the last part and all, and it even exceeded my own prediction of about 23-25 pages. Nope, it ended up being 32! I was just so determined on ending it on a high note, which hopefully and apparently, I did... so yay! I won't quote everything you said, instead I'll reply bit by bit (otherwise this post would stretch on forever :P)
Yes, Nyx is a beast and a badass! When I decided she wasn't going to kill Kren or Kara, I knew I had to showcase, in another way, how strong and brutal she is. So that was the answer - having her take ungodly amounts of damage, and keep fighting on. I did set up Kara to die on multiple occasions, though, to keep the suspense but I always knew she was going to sur… [view original content]
This is a clever idea. Perhaps I should keep it the same way with my answer
Haha, I don't know why it took us, or me, so long to figure it out, but oh well! We know, now... now that it's over :P
I'm glad you liked Beskha's trolling! I certainly did, and I wondered how many people bought it, if just for a second. She's so cruel, and Asher is perfectly okay with it, which I love. Plus, yes, Nyx certainly (or hopefully) went out in memorable fashion, after all, the Second Son's couldn't kill her, Asher nor Kara could kill her, it took a collapsing manse to do it! RIP (though she deserved it, of course!).
It is also my head-canon now, on how Jorah, Grey Worm and Daario got out of that attack alive, I'm happy I'm not alone in that! And I'm also happy I managed to get Jorah to appear, if only for a moment.
In fact, as you say, the whole ending went pretty smoothly - from the idea of it, to the actual writing, to the reception, and how it ties into the game and the future. It just, works, I think. Kara and Kren live on, yay! Also, in case you didn't know, Bezzaq IS the slaver Asher and Beskha have captured in the game. The one that gets executed by Tazal, in their first scene. Although you touched on a good point - hopefully the twins don't get embroidered in the show's Dorne storyline. Shivers. And thanks for the compliment on the dialogue, by the way!
Regarding Axel, I don't mean to blow my own trumpet (though credit to @CM3434 for actually creating the character), but managing to make a child-murdering Whitehill a fan-favourite, is quite a feat! Not that I don't share the sentiment... he was probably the most three-dimensional, and complex character in the story, certainly one of the most enjoyable to write, with Kara being close (she is, after all, only 1 vote behind in the polls!)
In terms of your questions, I hadn't decided Axel's fate for the Red Wedding; but, to be honest, he may very well have survived. In fact, he would have. Haytham couldn't have survived - because Rodrik has no Sentinel in the game (besides Dunc or Royland of course). Logistically, Haytham just couldn't exist, or have a place in the story post-Red-Wedding, Axel could've. But we will never know how that would've turned out, unfortunately... For your second question, if Asher and company agreed to Bezzaq's terms, they would've fought at the manse, against the Second Sons, so many of the events would have happened in reverse. As for the rest, to be honest, I was waiting for final confirmation from the polls, to fully figure it all out.
And lastly, the whole idea of making my own house and storyline is getting more and more appealing. Whether I'll actually go through with it in the end, I don't know, I guess I'll see where the voting lies. But yes, having complete freedom, would be a nice thing! As would not having your readers, know how your story already ends! Not that I minded, to be honest. It was the way it had to be, and there was plenty of surprises along the way. But yes, next time calls for something very different, I think.
I won't quote everything you said, instead I'll reply bit by bit (otherwise this post would stretch on forever :P)
This is a clever … moreidea. Perhaps I should keep it the same way with my answer
Obviously, I think you did the right choice with how you decided to show Nyx' badassery. Anyone could have killed Kara and especially Kren. While they are good, they are not perfect. Nyx meanwhile took wounds that would have killed half a dozen men and it still took an entire rooftop to kill her. Even I have to admit that this was impressive and likely makes her the physically toughest character in the entire story. That said, I was pretty sure that Nyx would end up killing Kara and the entire fight had me at the edge of my seat. When Beskha trolled Asher after the battle, by claiming they both died... man, you got me there for a second XD
As for the fight alongside Daario, Jorah and Grey Worm, I was hoping for a Jorah to appear in the stor… [view original content]
First off, I would like to say congratulations on writing and finishing this great story! Now onto the questions.
Who was your favourite, original character?
With my obvious bias in play it would definitely have to be Axel Whitehill. This is not the case because I helped create him either, you made a character who I figured would be a pretty minor character in the story with all of the main Whitehills around into a main character who was a massive influence on Rodrik's story so obviously I am grateful! You took a character who in hindsight I feel I could have fleshed out better for you and turned him into such an awesome character! For that I say thanks! I could rant about how well you did with Axel and the character development you had with him even more but I will just leave it at that!
Also, I am not sure if it has been said yet but you also did a phenomenal job with Torrhen Whitehill as well! Torrhen to me was one of if not the biggest mystery character of the game with what we little we were told about him there were so many questions that I had. What is Torrhen like? Why did Ludd bring Gryff back to watch Ironrath instead of Torrhen? Well I think you answered both of those questions to me with Torrhen being way more reasonable than Ludd or Gryff with him seemingly wanting peace between the Forresters and Whitehills and only really getting angry when he was pushed to that point. Also, going off of how you wrote him, I can definitely see why Gryff would be Ludd's first choice over who is his rightful heir in Torrhen. With all that said how you wrote him is exactly how I see Torrhen now and if he gets introduced in season 2 of the game and he acts any different I am not sure I will be able to believe it!
Whose storyline did you enjoy most?
I enjoyed both storylines immensely with both of them being pretty different especially with the ending yet similar at times but I would say I enjoyed Rodrik's the most. Obviously my character being a part of it helps but also the POV of the war of northern independence from a smaller house's POV is really what made it for me!
Which half did you prefer?
On this one I really have no preference because I feel it was all wrote equally well but I do see your point about how you caught your stride toward the end in regards to it being longer! Overall both halves were great all around to me!
How would you rate the overall story?
As said above, I can no doubt say it was great! This fanfiction and wanting to create a character to contribute to it was actually what convinced me to make an account here! I have not read too many fanfictions so I am not sure if this one is the best or not but really for the subject of Rodrik and Asher's backstories before the game I can not see it being topped either!
What would have made it better?
Honestly there is really not anything for me to complain about personally but the idea of having original POV's of characters like Haytham, Kara or Axel would have been pretty cool to say the least. The three characters I just mentioned all have their differences that really make them unique so it would have been cool to see what their thoughts were on the matter. Again though, that is just a minor complaint and not having them certainly did not hamper the story in any way!
What aspect did you like the most?
For me it was down to the dialogue and the characters but I will go with the characters! You did such a great job of having basically ever character you included having some kind of importance to them. It seemed to me that basically every character had an important role, big or small and a reason to either love, hate, or even have a bit of both with these characters! The characters that you brought to life truly made this story what it was!!
What would you like next?
The idea someone mentioned of there being a prequel to this story when both brothers were in Ironrath with a big part being the Whitehill-Forrester conflict that led to Asher's exile would be pretty intriguing I think! It would be cool to see Asher and Rodrik actually interacting with one another since we never really got to see that except the couple of words before the end of episode 5. With my bias, it would also mean we would also get to see Axel back as that arrogant bully again which you also wrote so well!! It would be awesome since we know just how far he came! Plus more of the other characters from Rodrik's story as well but unfortunately I do not think there is much to work with there but you are an excellent writer so I believe you would make it work! Ultimately though I want you to decide because i know that if you do decide to write another story it will be awesome whichever one you choose to write and I can proudly say I will be a reader of it and I will definitely contribute another character!!
First off, I would like to say congratulations on writing and finishing this great story! Now onto the questions.
And thank you for reading along with me, and writing that lovely (and very insightful) comment! It really made me smile. Now indeed, onto the questions...
With my obvious bias in play it would definitely have to be Axel Whitehill. This is not the case because I helped create him either, you made a character who I figured would be a pretty minor character in the story with all of the main Whitehills around into a main character who was a massive influence on Rodrik's story so obviously I am grateful! You took a character who in hindsight I feel I could have fleshed out better for you and turned him into such an awesome character! Also, I am not sure if it has been said yet but you also did a phenomenal job with Torrhen Whitehill as well!
Haha, you give yourself too little credit. You didn't need to flesh the character out extensively - Axel is, by nature, wonderfully complex and colourful.... and that's due to you. I merely added upon the foundation, but his reception has been great, so we can both count that as a win, I think. In any event, he was awesome, and he will be missed!
And no, very little (if anything) has been said about Torrhen. But, I'm glad you liked my portrayal of him, and found it in-line with your own interpretation of the character. Here's hoping it's relatively on the money, if or when we finally meet him in the game.
The idea someone mentioned of there being a prequel to this story when both brothers were in Ironrath with a big part being the Whitehill-Forrester conflict that led to Asher's exile would be pretty intriguing I think! It would be cool to see Asher and Rodrik actually interacting with one another since we never really got to see that except the couple of words before the end of episode 5. With my bias, it would also mean we would also get to see Axel back as that arrogant bully again which you also wrote so well!! It would be awesome since we know just how far he came! Plus more of the other characters from Rodrik's story as well but unfortunately I do not think there is much to work with there but you are an excellent writer so I believe you would make it work! Ultimately though I want you to decide because i know that if you do decide to write another story it will be awesome whichever one you choose to write and I can proudly say I will be a reader of it and I will definitely contribute another character!!
I thank you for that. and everything else. I'll be hard pressed not to write another, considering how much support I've gotten from you and everyone else here. It's been great. As for what that next thing will be, I'm honestly not sure - as you said, seeing Rodrik and Asher interact, e.g. via a prequel-prequel would be awesome, but as you also touched on, there's not huge amounts of story there... and I'd rather not do a prequel of my prequel :P but who knows? I'll see where the voting ends up, then give it a good think.
Whatever happens, I look forward to continuing this all again, at some point in the near future. I feel like I'm just regurgitating the same point over and over again, by now, but it's true. I had much more fun writing this story than I ever expected, and that's largely in part, due to the feedback, and comments, and voting from you lot. So, yeah. May we do this again... and may the finale of "Two Brothers," be not the end of this saga, but instead the start of a whole new one.
First off, I would like to say congratulations on writing and finishing this great story! Now onto the questions.
Who was your favourite,… more original character?
With my obvious bias in play it would definitely have to be Axel Whitehill. This is not the case because I helped create him either, you made a character who I figured would be a pretty minor character in the story with all of the main Whitehills around into a main character who was a massive influence on Rodrik's story so obviously I am grateful! You took a character who in hindsight I feel I could have fleshed out better for you and turned him into such an awesome character! For that I say thanks! I could rant about how well you did with Axel and the character development you had with him even more but I will just leave it at that!
Also, I am not sure if it has been said yet but you also did a phenomenal job with Torrhen Whitehill as well! Torrhen to me was one of if not the b… [view original content]
Comments
This is a clever idea. Perhaps I should keep it the same way with my answer
Obviously, I think you did the right choice with how you decided to show Nyx' badassery. Anyone could have killed Kara and especially Kren. While they are good, they are not perfect. Nyx meanwhile took wounds that would have killed half a dozen men and it still took an entire rooftop to kill her. Even I have to admit that this was impressive and likely makes her the physically toughest character in the entire story. That said, I was pretty sure that Nyx would end up killing Kara and the entire fight had me at the edge of my seat. When Beskha trolled Asher after the battle, by claiming they both died... man, you got me there for a second XD
As for the fight alongside Daario, Jorah and Grey Worm, I was hoping for a Jorah to appear in the story and partially took the Dany option to have either him or Barristan appearing, so that was an extra bonus for me. And well, this is now my headcanon as to how these three got out of there alive.
I definitely loved the ending for Asher's storyline. I was hoping for something like this, though it ended up happier than I thought. There was still a bittersweet streak to prevent things from getting too happy (and non-canon), which I enjoyed a lot as well. Now I have my headcanon with the siblings living their happy life in Dorne (hopefully far away from anything even remotely related to the "plot" of show-Dorne) and that is awesome. And you did really outstanding work with the dialogue, in both storylines! The characters themselves are already colourful, but the dialogue really brought them to live.
Axel was a brilliant character! It is unsurprising that a majority seems to share this opinion in the polls, because he really had a strong presence and came a long way over the course of the story. I think no one expected him to end up that sympathetic. I know, I certainly didn't, until I suddenly started to like him XD Out of interest, since there was no way for Haytham to survive, what would have happened at the Red Wedding if we would have saved Axel in the first fight against Mortimer? Was there any chance for him to survive? And since I'm in a question mood right now, there is one other thing I ended up being curious about: In Asher's part, what would have happened if they would have agreed to Bezzaq's terms and ended up fighting for him?
This idea you have for an entirely new story sounds intriguing! In the end, I still absolutely think you should decide, though this is the option I would personally prefer. It sounds like it'll give you the greatest freedom to write the story into any direction. Whatever it is you decide to write next, I know I'm going to enjoy it. Also, kudos for managing to include every submitted character in some way. There was limited space for each of them, but you did the best out of it! In any way, I'm looking forward for the next story
Haha, I don't know why it took us, or me, so long to figure it out, but oh well! We know, now... now that it's over :P
I'm glad you liked Beskha's trolling! I certainly did, and I wondered how many people bought it, if just for a second. She's so cruel, and Asher is perfectly okay with it, which I love. Plus, yes, Nyx certainly (or hopefully) went out in memorable fashion, after all, the Second Son's couldn't kill her, Asher nor Kara could kill her, it took a collapsing manse to do it! RIP (though she deserved it, of course!).
It is also my head-canon now, on how Jorah, Grey Worm and Daario got out of that attack alive, I'm happy I'm not alone in that! And I'm also happy I managed to get Jorah to appear, if only for a moment.
In fact, as you say, the whole ending went pretty smoothly - from the idea of it, to the actual writing, to the reception, and how it ties into the game and the future. It just, works, I think. Kara and Kren live on, yay! Also, in case you didn't know, Bezzaq IS the slaver Asher and Beskha have captured in the game. The one that gets executed by Tazal, in their first scene. Although you touched on a good point - hopefully the twins don't get embroidered in the show's Dorne storyline. Shivers. And thanks for the compliment on the dialogue, by the way!
Regarding Axel, I don't mean to blow my own trumpet (though credit to @CM3434 for actually creating the character), but managing to make a child-murdering Whitehill a fan-favourite, is quite a feat! Not that I don't share the sentiment... he was probably the most three-dimensional, and complex character in the story, certainly one of the most enjoyable to write, with Kara being close (she is, after all, only 1 vote behind in the polls!)
In terms of your questions, I hadn't decided Axel's fate for the Red Wedding; but, to be honest, he may very well have survived. In fact, he would have. Haytham couldn't have survived - because Rodrik has no Sentinel in the game (besides Dunc or Royland of course). Logistically, Haytham just couldn't exist, or have a place in the story post-Red-Wedding, Axel could've. But we will never know how that would've turned out, unfortunately... For your second question, if Asher and company agreed to Bezzaq's terms, they would've fought at the manse, against the Second Sons, so many of the events would have happened in reverse. As for the rest, to be honest, I was waiting for final confirmation from the polls, to fully figure it all out.
And lastly, the whole idea of making my own house and storyline is getting more and more appealing. Whether I'll actually go through with it in the end, I don't know, I guess I'll see where the voting lies. But yes, having complete freedom, would be a nice thing! As would not having your readers, know how your story already ends! Not that I minded, to be honest. It was the way it had to be, and there was plenty of surprises along the way. But yes, next time calls for something very different, I think.
First off, I would like to say congratulations on writing and finishing this great story! Now onto the questions.
Who was your favourite, original character?
With my obvious bias in play it would definitely have to be Axel Whitehill. This is not the case because I helped create him either, you made a character who I figured would be a pretty minor character in the story with all of the main Whitehills around into a main character who was a massive influence on Rodrik's story so obviously I am grateful! You took a character who in hindsight I feel I could have fleshed out better for you and turned him into such an awesome character! For that I say thanks! I could rant about how well you did with Axel and the character development you had with him even more but I will just leave it at that!
Also, I am not sure if it has been said yet but you also did a phenomenal job with Torrhen Whitehill as well! Torrhen to me was one of if not the biggest mystery character of the game with what we little we were told about him there were so many questions that I had. What is Torrhen like? Why did Ludd bring Gryff back to watch Ironrath instead of Torrhen? Well I think you answered both of those questions to me with Torrhen being way more reasonable than Ludd or Gryff with him seemingly wanting peace between the Forresters and Whitehills and only really getting angry when he was pushed to that point. Also, going off of how you wrote him, I can definitely see why Gryff would be Ludd's first choice over who is his rightful heir in Torrhen. With all that said how you wrote him is exactly how I see Torrhen now and if he gets introduced in season 2 of the game and he acts any different I am not sure I will be able to believe it!
Whose storyline did you enjoy most?
I enjoyed both storylines immensely with both of them being pretty different especially with the ending yet similar at times but I would say I enjoyed Rodrik's the most. Obviously my character being a part of it helps but also the POV of the war of northern independence from a smaller house's POV is really what made it for me!
Which half did you prefer?
On this one I really have no preference because I feel it was all wrote equally well but I do see your point about how you caught your stride toward the end in regards to it being longer! Overall both halves were great all around to me!
How would you rate the overall story?
As said above, I can no doubt say it was great! This fanfiction and wanting to create a character to contribute to it was actually what convinced me to make an account here! I have not read too many fanfictions so I am not sure if this one is the best or not but really for the subject of Rodrik and Asher's backstories before the game I can not see it being topped either!
What would have made it better?
Honestly there is really not anything for me to complain about personally but the idea of having original POV's of characters like Haytham, Kara or Axel would have been pretty cool to say the least. The three characters I just mentioned all have their differences that really make them unique so it would have been cool to see what their thoughts were on the matter. Again though, that is just a minor complaint and not having them certainly did not hamper the story in any way!
What aspect did you like the most?
For me it was down to the dialogue and the characters but I will go with the characters! You did such a great job of having basically ever character you included having some kind of importance to them. It seemed to me that basically every character had an important role, big or small and a reason to either love, hate, or even have a bit of both with these characters! The characters that you brought to life truly made this story what it was!!
What would you like next?
The idea someone mentioned of there being a prequel to this story when both brothers were in Ironrath with a big part being the Whitehill-Forrester conflict that led to Asher's exile would be pretty intriguing I think! It would be cool to see Asher and Rodrik actually interacting with one another since we never really got to see that except the couple of words before the end of episode 5. With my bias, it would also mean we would also get to see Axel back as that arrogant bully again which you also wrote so well!! It would be awesome since we know just how far he came! Plus more of the other characters from Rodrik's story as well but unfortunately I do not think there is much to work with there but you are an excellent writer so I believe you would make it work! Ultimately though I want you to decide because i know that if you do decide to write another story it will be awesome whichever one you choose to write and I can proudly say I will be a reader of it and I will definitely contribute another character!!
And thank you for reading along with me, and writing that lovely (and very insightful) comment! It really made me smile. Now indeed, onto the questions...
Haha, you give yourself too little credit. You didn't need to flesh the character out extensively - Axel is, by nature, wonderfully complex and colourful.... and that's due to you. I merely added upon the foundation, but his reception has been great, so we can both count that as a win, I think.
In any event, he was awesome, and he will be missed!
And no, very little (if anything) has been said about Torrhen. But, I'm glad you liked my portrayal of him, and found it in-line with your own interpretation of the character. Here's hoping it's relatively on the money, if or when we finally meet him in the game.
I thank you for that.
and everything else. I'll be hard pressed not to write another, considering how much support I've gotten from you and everyone else here. It's been great. As for what that next thing will be, I'm honestly not sure - as you said, seeing Rodrik and Asher interact, e.g. via a prequel-prequel would be awesome, but as you also touched on, there's not huge amounts of story there... and I'd rather not do a prequel of my prequel :P but who knows? I'll see where the voting ends up, then give it a good think.
Whatever happens, I look forward to continuing this all again, at some point in the near future. I feel like I'm just regurgitating the same point over and over again, by now, but it's true. I had much more fun writing this story than I ever expected, and that's largely in part, due to the feedback, and comments, and voting from you lot. So, yeah.
May we do this again... and may the finale of "Two Brothers," be not the end of this saga, but instead the start of a whole new one.
Oh, and thanks for Axel.