[Asher] I can't see talking with these people going anywhere good. And I'm not gonna agree with Kren just to appease him.
[Rodrik] It's a good question and there's no real wrong answer. I'm gonna go with friends. I consider their Houses to be close but family seems a bit much.
I imagine this is where Robb offers to join their Houses by marriage. Maybe Talia and Bran? Obviously I'm joking but it's an interesting thought. Could Rodrik really refuse? Imagine what it'd do for his House. To be connected to the wardens of the North by marriage would be an amazing opportunity.
This part did feel like filler but it was the good kind. I enjoyed it. The fling between Asher & Kara and then the talk with Robb and Rodrik.
Aaaaandddddd Part 17 is up. It's a shorter one, this one, and mainly setting up the exciting stuff to come. Hopefully, you'll like anyway.
… more
Oh, and I've now realized I'm going to be able to make good on my original intention; of making this a 20-part thing. So yes, Part 20 will be the last one, and will conclude the full origin / prequel story of Rodrik and Asher Forrester. I'm amazed I've actually took them from the start of their journey (Rodrik marching south with Robb Stark, Asher being exiled across the Narrow Sea) to the point in which we find them in the game. But, I digress, and I will save the rest of this talk for another time...
Between a rock and a hard place, yet again! There's certainly more going on that it seems... but which of the twins are right about it, I guess we'll just have to wait and see. I like your thought process on the matter, though. He indeed made a valid point, about the fact he didn't attack them when he could have. There must be a reason for it.
I see a pattern in Asher's storyline Safe for the choice in part 16, every Asher choice in the last couple of parts has been very hard to pick. Rodrik's choices seem to challenge his morals more often, while most of Asher's choices tend to have the potential for immediate, physical consequences, so Asher's choices tend to be the ones I find harder to pick. Also, aside from a few rare occasions, I am almost always convinced that I have chosen wrong for him. I wonder if there even is a right choice this time.
I think that's just true in general :P of their lives and the storyline... Rodrik always seem to get the shit end of the stick.
Well, Asher doesn't have it much easier, with people like Nyx around. He has a few more happy moments perhaps, but Rodrik is at war after all. In terms of enjoyableness, I'd say their storylines are pretty much equal for me most of the times, though Asher clearly won by a landslide in this part. That said, the conclusions to both storylines are definitely going to keep me at the edge of my seat. I got my speculations, but I tend to be wrong more often than not.
Makes sense. I just figured it was about time to fully establish the specificity of their relationship... before, you know...
Oh yeah... I was almost over the Red Wedding, until Robb came along in this part. Seeing how close the two became makes it even more tragic.
Haha, it's been a weird, yet wonderful journey. And I'm glad you've joined me on it. Like everyone else who has posted, it's great to hear people's thoughts on it all. But I feel like I've told the story I wanted to tell - and I don't want to artificially extend it. 20 parts sounds good to me... and who knows? Maybe I'll do another story, down the line. I've certainly had a lot of fun with it all, as I hope others have, to. As for the rest of your final paragraph, I have planned out the end, so I know more or less what happens now (with leeway given for the polls, of course). It should be pretty intense! And we will see if your speculations ring true!
It's amazing that your initial plans regarding the length of the story have worked out so well! I originally planned to be done with FoT by now, but it's going to continue keeping me busy for god knows how long, years perhaps, so I know first hand that plans like this rarely work out. I'm in awe at what you've done so far and if you want to do another story, I'd love that and you can count on me reading it
Hah, Asher and Kara do not waste any time I'd ship them and frankly, Ashkara makes the perfect ship name, though at the same time it felt a… morelmost like friends with benefits.
Ashkara! xD that's great! Why didn't I think of that...? And I'll certainly be expanding upon their relationship, and establishing its conclusion before this is over! I'm excited for it. I'm glad you liked their interactions - they're pretty great, I thought. And I honestly agree with every point you've made on the subject. They're basically in-line with my own on the matter.
For the choice, I had a hard time, because both options sound like they will end in a catastrophe. I ultimately chose to accept Dezzaq's offer. I definitely don't trust him, but the thing is, he brought up one brilliant argument in his favour. If he wanted them dead, he would have had them right here. He could have brought guards with them to take them and even if he wanted them alive,… [view original content]
How dare you. Are you implying I'm some idiot who misspelt the name, and all along, has been planning to sneakily re-edit it?
...Because you know, that's, erm, yeah okay that's completely true.
It is meant to be Bezzaq. I thought it was Dezzaq, and was so confidant in the fact, that I didn't even bother to check. I will fix all of that soon. :P my bad!
How dare you. Are you implying I'm some idiot who misspelt the name, and all along, has been planning to sneakily re-edit it?
...Because … moreyou know, that's, erm, yeah okay that's completely true.
It is meant to be Bezzaq. I thought it was Dezzaq, and was so confidant in the fact, that I didn't even bother to check. I will fix all of that soon. :P my bad!
I don't know why, but for some reason I was convinced that Asher is currently in Meereen and the revelation that they have been in Yunkai all along came as a huge surprise. I was thinking all this time how Asher and Beskha could end up in Yunkai together with Bezzaq and now I find out they have been there all along XD I don't know why I was thinking this, but it appears I have heavily misread something in an earlier part. Anyways, this part was great! The fact that Kren has literally no idea about Asher and Kara was hilarious, especially since they all but spelled it out for him. I wonder how he's going to react, though I can't imagine that he disapproves, at least not too much. I doubt he's going to be super thrilled either though. And it appears I was right and Bezzaq indeed needs their help. It is a relatively generous offer, even though the last thing I want is for Asher, Beskha, Kara and Kren to fight the Unsullied, because that is a death sentence. The presence of Nyx is always worrying me as well. However, refusing the offer is a bad idea. We're in Episode 7, Yunkai gets captured in Episode 9. The first time, Bezzaq seemed to have found them with relative ease. Even if he lets them go now, I highly doubt he is not going to order Nyx to follow them, to finish what she started and I don't think they can evade her for 2 episodes, which is likely going to span a couple of days. I hope that there will be a choice to join with Dany's army once the battle for Yunkai begins, to turn against Bezzaq and to feed Nyx her own eyeballs, so I chose to agree to his terms for now. If they want to fight alongside the Unsullied, they have to survive until then. It has never been stated that Asher and co. are actually going to stay loyal to Bezzaq and I hope for a choice to turn against him next time, when the battle has already begun. Alternatively, perhaps they could make it out of Yunkai if they refuse, but this sounds all too risky, especially since I don't trust Bezzaq to really let them go if they refuse him now. It sounds smarter to lure him into a false sense of security first. It's another super-hard choice and I see good and bad with both options, so I am absolutely unsure what to choose. Hell, the more I write, the less convinced I am that I chose correctly, but the other choice does not sound any better. I don't know what to choose
Rodrik's part was great as always, though less intense than Asher's. Instead, it was a perfectly calm way to set up the big finale and it was absolutely heartbreaking to see what a good friend Rodrik has become to Robb over the last few parts. Makes the Red Wedding even worse ;_; I don't have that much to say for his part this time, except that I loved it. Robb is a well-written character, not only in the books and show, but also in your story, so I enjoy every scene with him. For the choice, I chose to go with Robb. The thing is, it surprised me that you offered this choice. We know Rodrik ends up in the Forrester camp during the Red Wedding, so I'm sure you have thought of a reason for him to leave and I am very interested in seeing it. Also, this option possibly means another appearance of Roose and perhaps an appearance of Walder Frey as well, which should be extremely entertaining.
I don't know why, but for some reason I was convinced that Asher is currently in Meereen and the revelation that they have been in Yunkai all along came as a huge surprise. I was thinking all this time how Asher and Beskha could end up in Yunkai together with Bezzaq and now I find out they have been there all along XD I don't know why I was thinking this
Oh, well I thought it was kinda obvious? xD though maybe not. I rarely read back through my work. And the fact I misspelt "Bezzaq" in the first two parts he appeared, probably didn't help! Oh well, you know now!
Anyways, this part was great! The fact that Kren has literally no idea about Asher and Kara was hilarious, especially since they all but spelled it out for him. I wonder how he's going to react, though I can't imagine that he disapproves. And it appears I was right and Bezzaq indeed needs their help. It is a relatively generous offer, even though the last thing I want is for Asher, Beskha, Kara and Kren to fight the Unsullied, because that is a death sentence.
Thank you and I know, I toyed with the idea that maybeee Kren knew for a while, before finally revealing no, he actually hasn't got a clue. Which is pretty funny. And it'll be interesting to see how he reacts - should he find out. I really like this particular choice. On one hand, it's a pretty decent offer, so much so, that asking for more is pretty dangerous. Still, refusing could be the most dangerous of all... not that accepting and therefore trusting them isn't. It's all pretty difficult. Which is great. and you were indeed right (yet again) Bezzaq did need their help.
I hope that there will be a choice to join with Dany's army once the battle for Yunkai begins, to turn against Bezzaq and to feed Nyx her own eyeballs, so I chose to agree to his terms for now
Fair enough, I didn't really know what you'd go for on this one, but I was leaning towards 'agree.' And it's certainly true, they don't have to stay loyal to him forever, should they accept the deal. But I suppose that depends on how events pan out. I'm just glad the show's timeline is working in my favour here, allowing me to end this series with The Red Wedding and The Battle of Yunkai. It's going to be pretty epic... or so I hope.
Rodrik's part was great as always, though less intense than Asher's. Instead, it was a perfectly calm way to set up the big finale and it was absolutely heartbreaking to see what a good friend Rodrik has become to Robb over the last few parts. Makes the Red Wedding even worse
Haha, that was the idea :P and this is the last "calm before the storm" chapter for Rodrik. It's all down hill from here! I do really like their brief, but loveable bromance, though, and I'm going to miss it. I always figured they'd be decent enough friends, so finally realizing it via this story, has been pretty satisfying.
For the choice, I chose to go with Robb. The thing is, it surprised me that you offered this choice. We know Rodrik ends up in the Forrester camp during the Red Wedding, so I'm sure you have thought of a reason for him to leave and I am very interested in seeing it. Also, this option possibly means another appearance of Roose and perhaps an appearance of Walder Frey as well, which should be extremely entertaining.
This choice is actually going to have massive consequences, even though it doesn't seem like it. You're basically deciding whether Rodrik will stick with the Stark's at the Red Wedding, or his Forrester bannerman. And yes, while he ends up there with them in the game, how and why, is left for me to determine. If you notice, he's conveniently and somewhat bizarrely absent from the main Forrester men at the wedding. It's always confused me that - and I can now personally address it! So I look forward to doing so, no matter which choice gets picked two more to go!
I don't know why, but for some reason I was convinced that Asher is currently in Meereen and the revelation that they have been in Yunkai al… morel along came as a huge surprise. I was thinking all this time how Asher and Beskha could end up in Yunkai together with Bezzaq and now I find out they have been there all along XD I don't know why I was thinking this, but it appears I have heavily misread something in an earlier part. Anyways, this part was great! The fact that Kren has literally no idea about Asher and Kara was hilarious, especially since they all but spelled it out for him. I wonder how he's going to react, though I can't imagine that he disapproves, at least not too much. I doubt he's going to be super thrilled either though. And it appears I was right and Bezzaq indeed needs their help. It is a relatively generous offer, even though the last thing I want is for Asher, Beskha, Kara and Kren to fight the Unsullied, because that is a dea… [view original content]
Oh, well I thought it was kinda obvious? xD though maybe not. I rarely read back through my work. And the fact I misspelt "Bezzaq" in the first two parts he appeared, probably didn't help! Oh well, you know now!
Actually, you made it clear that they have been in Yunkai all along, it has just been me that somehow failed to realize it. The moment I finally realized that they were in Yunkai, I immediately reread the part where they left Astapor and to my surprise, I found out that it has been Yunkai all along. I was also pretty sure that Nyx introduced herself as the champion of Meereen, even though she never did XD
On one hand, it's a pretty decent offer, so much so, that asking for more is pretty dangerous. Still, refusing could be the most dangerous of all... not that accepting and therefore trusting them isn't. It's all pretty difficult. Which is great. and you were indeed right (yet again) Bezzaq did need their help.
I wonder, what would they ask for if they would ask for more? Gold? They can be damn happy to get out of that mess alive, one way or the other. I am willing to trust Bezzaq though. He needs their help and he is not in a position to double cross them. Nyx is an entirely different case though. She's like a mad dog and I can imagine her turning on the others just for fun. Good thing that no one seems to trust her, so I hope they watch their back with her around.
Fair enough, I didn't really know what you'd go for on this one, but I was leaning towards 'agree.' And it's certainly true, they don't have to stay loyal to him forever, should they accept the deal. But I suppose that depends on how events pan out. I'm just glad the show's timeline is working in my favour here, allowing me to end this series with The Red Wedding and The Battle of Yunkai. It's going to be pretty epic... or so I hope.
At first, I was sure that agreeing is the good choice, but the more I thought about it, the more I became conflicted. Now I'm back being relatively confident about it, even though a bad feeling remains. I'm very happy we're going to see the Battle of Yunkai. I was always a bit bummed that we only got to see the small (but very cool) skirmish with Jorah, Grey Worm and Daario instead of the fullblown siege it apparently ended up as. Having the Red Wedding and Battle of Yunkai in one part, that is going to be epic for sure
Haha, that was the idea :P and this is the last "calm before the storm" chapter for Rodrik. It's all down hill from here! I do really like their brief, but loveable bromance, though, and I'm going to miss it. I always figured they'd be decent enough friends, so finally realizing it via this story, has been pretty satisfying.
Robb and Rodrik really have a lot in common, so them becoming friends feels natural. I never really thought of this aspect before, but seeing it in your story makes so much sense that it's my headcanon now.
This choice is actually going to have massive consequences, even though it doesn't seem like it. You're basically deciding whether Rodrik will stick with the Stark's at the Red Wedding, or his Forrester bannerman. And yes, while he ends up there with them in the game, how and why, is left for me to determine. If you notice, he's conveniently and somewhat bizarrely absent from the main Forrester men at the wedding. It's always confused me that - and I can now personally address it! So I look forward to doing so, no matter which choice gets picked two more to go!
Oh, this is going to be exciting. Somehow, Rodrik has to get out of the death trap that is the Great Hall of the Twins and I'm sure it's going to be epic. And as much as I'd love to spend more time with the other Forrester's, the thought of seeing people like Walder Frey in the story is just too good to miss.
I don't know why, but for some reason I was convinced that Asher is currently in Meereen and the revelation that they have been in Yunkai al… morel along came as a huge surprise. I was thinking all this time how Asher and Beskha could end up in Yunkai together with Bezzaq and now I find out they have been there all along XD I don't know why I was thinking this
Oh, well I thought it was kinda obvious? xD though maybe not. I rarely read back through my work. And the fact I misspelt "Bezzaq" in the first two parts he appeared, probably didn't help! Oh well, you know now!
Anyways, this part was great! The fact that Kren has literally no idea about Asher and Kara was hilarious, especially since they all but spelled it out for him. I wonder how he's going to react, though I can't imagine that he disapproves. And it appears I was right and Bezzaq indeed needs their help. It is a relatively generous offer, even though the last thing I want is… [view original content]
I immediately reread the part where they left Astapor and to my surprise, I found out that it has been Yunkai all along. I was also pretty sure that Nyx introduced herself as the champion of Meereen, even though she never did XD
Actually, I think I remember you referring to her as that once! I didn't think twice about it at the time, but now... oh well, what's done is done! It doesn't really matter too much xD it's quite funny though!
I wonder, what would they ask for if they would ask for more? Gold? They can be damn happy to get out of that mess alive, one way or the other. I am willing to trust Bezzaq though. He needs their help and he is not in a position to double cross them. Nyx is an entirely different case though. She's like a mad dog and I can imagine her turning on the others just for fun. Good thing that no one seems to trust her, so I hope they watch their back with her around.
I think it's fair to say none of the groups particularly trust the other... at all. But they have to work together to an extent, for their own reasons. And Nyx, to her credit, is at least incredibly loyal to her master, Bezzaq. So that's a bit of control, there. Though of course, she wants nothing more to kill them all, and eat their bodies. She's like that. Where it will all lead, however, that's up to the polls.
At first, I was sure that agreeing is the good choice, but the more I thought about it, the more I became conflicted. Now I'm back being relatively confident about it, even though a bad feeling remains. I'm very happy we're going to see the Battle of Yunkai. I was always a bit bummed that we only got to see the small (but very cool) skirmish with Jorah, Grey Worm and Daario instead of the fullblown siege it apparently ended up as. Having the Red Wedding and Battle of Yunkai in one part, that is going to be epic for sure
It's certainly a lot of potential to work with, I hope I don't disappoint. and I felt the same, during the episode, that the "battle" underwhelmed. Hopefully I will alleviate that problem, on behalf of the show. I even snuck in a Jorah reference in this part.
Robb and Rodrik really have a lot in common, so them becoming friends feels natural. I never really thought of this aspect before, but seeing it in your story makes so much sense that it's my headcanon now. Oh, this is going to be exciting. Somehow, Rodrik has to get out of the death trap that is the Great Hall of the Twins and I'm sure it's going to be epic. And as much as I'd love to spend more time with the other Forrester's, the thought of seeing people like Walder Frey in the story is just too good to miss.
I get that! It would certainly be a lot of fun to include Roose Bolton again, and Walder Frey for the first time, but we'll see what happens. I'm glad I've turned Robrik in to your headcanon, though! That's pretty awesome.
Oh, well I thought it was kinda obvious? xD though maybe not. I rarely read back through my work. And the fact I misspelt "Bezzaq" in the fi… morerst two parts he appeared, probably didn't help! Oh well, you know now!
Actually, you made it clear that they have been in Yunkai all along, it has just been me that somehow failed to realize it. The moment I finally realized that they were in Yunkai, I immediately reread the part where they left Astapor and to my surprise, I found out that it has been Yunkai all along. I was also pretty sure that Nyx introduced herself as the champion of Meereen, even though she never did XD
On one hand, it's a pretty decent offer, so much so, that asking for more is pretty dangerous. Still, refusing could be the most dangerous of all... not that accepting and therefore trusting them isn't. It's all pretty difficult. Which is great. and you were indeed right (yet again) Bezzaq did need their help.
… [view original content]
These parts really keep getting better and better ! "Quality over quantity" goes the saying, but with your fanfictions we have both. This is my new headcanon now because it definitely seems in character with what I would imagine both Asher and Rodrik doing and thinking. I honestly cannot wait to see it all unravel Congrats on your work Dillon !
These parts really keep getting better and better ! "Quality over quantity" goes the saying, but with your fanfictions we have both.
Oh stahp it, you but thanks. It makes me soo happy to hear that!
This is my new headcanon now because it definitely seems in character with what I would imagine both Asher and Rodrik doing and thinking. I honestly cannot wait to see it all unravel Congrats on your work Dillon !
And I cannot wait to hear everyone's thoughts, when it's all done! cheers, mate!
These parts really keep getting better and better ! "Quality over quantity" goes the saying, but with your fanfictions we have both. This is… more my new headcanon now because it definitely seems in character with what I would imagine both Asher and Rodrik doing and thinking. I honestly cannot wait to see it all unravel Congrats on your work Dillon !
Haha, I'm glad someone picked up on that joke! I've actually snuck it in a few times, both Asher and Rodrik internally monologuing about how they never listened to the Maester :P
It just felt right to me, Ethan being the one who did. Poor Ortengryn! You do have to feel for him, it's true.
I laughed when Rodrik said that he never listened to the Maester because Asher said he didn't either.
You gotta feel for the Maester. Charged with educating all of the children of the household and only one brother out of three listens to him.
He knows about the North Grove, so why wouldn't he know about them?
It's a bit of a leap, but hardly baseless. I just head-canon it, as Gregor came clean to Rodrik, at some point during the war, in case he died. (Which obviously he does). Rodrik and Gregor are the only Forrester's who know, I consider it.
I get it. But clearly Gregor was a secretive man. He told Duncan about it but Duncan knew almost nothing about it, wheras Gregor clearly knew a lot. The way I see it Gregor told a select view about the North Groves existence in case of his demise, but that's it.
He knows about the North Grove, so why wouldn't he know about them?
It's a bit of a leap, but hardly baseless. I just head-canon it, as … moreGregor came clean to Rodrik, at some point during the war, in case he died. (Which obviously he does). Rodrik and Gregor are the only Forrester's who know, I consider it.
Haha, it was the least I could do (still feel bad)
also not prepared for what happens with Rodrik, like I'm having difficulty choosing between attempting to save Robb or going for the fam.
It's a tricky one, because obviously we know Robb dies anyway, yet Rodrik doesn't; so deciding what he would do, or what you'd want him to do, is definitely difficult.
At least Torrhen was somewhat decent about trying to subtly warn Rodrik with what was going to happen.
True. He did try, bless him, but Rodrik just wasn't in the mood. Torrhen's a bit like the Maester, in that regard. :P thanks for reading mate, and I hope you like the final part, when it comes out.
A shout out to Adryana, haha. Thanks Daario
I'm looking forward to what happens with both Asher and Rodrik.
I'm also not prepared for… more what happens with Rodrik, like I'm having difficulty choosing between attempting to save Robb or going for the fam.
At least Torrhen was somewhat decent about trying to subtly warn Rodrik with what was going to happen.
Once this story is over, I'll have to give it a reread in its entirety to say it for sure, but right now I feel like this has to be my favourite part in the entire story. Both PoV's have been amazing. Asher had me at the edge of my seat, but to be fair, almost all of Asher's recent parts cause me to feel this way. Seeing how everything played out, I am glad a small majority refused Bezzaq's offer. In itself, this offer was generous and his behaviour made it clear that it was honest, to my surprise. The thing is, Nyx proved once again that she is absolutely unpredictable and almost uncontrollable. I wouldn't have felt good having our heroes standing side by side with her during the fight, especially since Kara and Beskha are not the kind of people to watch their tongue with someone like Nyx around. I didn't even want to work for Bezzaq, though the alternative, escaping from Yunkai, felt far too risky for me. And as glad as I am that it worked out, it proved to be risky indeed. I literally held my breath when Kara opted to stay back. Of course, Asher was having none of it and their brief exchange that followed was one of the sweetest moments in the entire story. What seriously had me dying though was the talk between Kara and Kren after they reached the Second Son camp. That was priceless and no matter what happens in the next part, I'm going to miss these two. As for the choice, I chose to work for Daenerys. As much as I like Kara's reasoning, working on their own during a siege is by far the most risky choice and I don't want to stress her luck even more. Having no allies during a siege may led to them getting caught in the crossfire. The Second Sons have made them a generous offer and even though I'm probably in the minority when I say I like Daario (after the recast at least), I wouldn't want to work for him, not if Daenerys is the alternative. Say what you want about her, but Season 3 Dany is one of the most morally good characters in the show. There's a reason why people like Jorah and Barristan, whom I both see as very decent people as well, love her so much. It's debatable if she truly is the queen Westeros needs, but she is definitely the one I would like to serve, because she undoubtedly cares for those she rules over. There's also the thing that the service of Asher, Beskha, Kara and Kren should be highly interesting for her. After all, they have inside knowledge of the current situation in Yunkai and are only second behind Drogon when it comes to the highest master kill-count in Slaver's Bay. While Dany herself is guaranteed to be too busy to meet them personally, there are still her advisors that could make a deal with our heroes. In any way, with the siege of Yunkai on its way and Nyx still alive and well, it sounds like there's a lot of stuff happening in the next part and I am excited.
Despite my personal bias for Asher's storyline, Rodrik's part managed to be just as intense for me. I loved how you set up the Red Wedding. I had my teeth clenched the entire read and I felt angry, really, really angry at that bastard Walder Frey. Knowing what is going to happen made me greatly appreciate all these subtle hints and the suspense was terrifying. It was nice seeing Walder Frey in the story, as well as another appearance for his sons and their stupid hats. Their talk was so full of foreshadowing, I liked that a lot. But my favourite moment in Rodrik's PoV in this part was definitely the talk with Gregor. I always felt Gregor has been much too underused in the game, so it is nice seeing him fleshed out a bit more in your story. It made me wonder though, since Rodrik knows so well about the North Grove, are Josera and Elsera older or younger than him in your story? I always thought that they were older, though Rodrik's talk made me consider that its the other way round. The short scene with Torrhen was pretty cool, he definitely is the most honourable living Whitehill. And Mortimer that sadistic creep made another memorable appearance. It was really well-done how he revealed the trap, just as it was too late for Rodrik to prevent it. Their entire talk gave me the chills and I feel like there's going to be a final confrontation soon. This is the perfect opportunity for Mortimer to kill his target and I doubt he'll let it pass. As for the choice, I chose to try and save Robb. We know it is doomed to fail, but I feel like this is what Rodrik would have done in my playthrough. Robb has become one of his closest friends and even though it won't work, I just have to choose it. Also, Haytham, himself another loyal friend, is in there. Since he has no canonical fate, there might still be hope for him.
Once this story is over, I'll have to give it a reread in its entirety to say it for sure, but right now I feel like this has to be my favourite part in the entire story. Both PoV's have been amazing. Asher had me at the edge of my seat, but to be fair, almost all of Asher's recent parts cause me to feel this way.
Well, thanks I'm surprised how long this part ended up, but I was really happy with it in the end, so I'm glad you liked it. I haven't even started on the next one yet, but I imagine it'll be about the same length. Hopefully, they'll both conclude in great fashion!
I am glad a small majority refused Bezzaq's offer. In itself, this offer was generous and his behaviour made it clear that it was honest, to my surprise.
Well, Bezzaq seemed honest :P but we will see the full extent of it and him, in the finale. I am surprised the "refuse" option won out in the end, but all's well that ends well, and I quite liked that option.
. In any way, with the siege of Yunkai on its way and Nyx still alive and well, it sounds like there's a lot of stuff happening in the next part and I am excited.
I will try to live up to that hype! And I thought you would go with Daenerys, for some reason. It's winning at the moment, so we shall see unfortunately, I can't include a conversation with her, as Asher and her don't meet until the game, but I'll find something good if that choice wins.
It made me wonder though, since Rodrik knows so well about the North Grove, are Josera and Elsera older or younger than him in your story? I always thought that they were older, though Rodrik's talk made me consider that its the other way round.
My interpretation is: Gregor has only told three people about the North Grove. Duncan Tuttle before he left (though he didn't give specifics), and Rodrik (with most of the specifics) in case Gregor died during the war, which obviously he does. So Rodrik heard the story only in the last few years, and I personally view Josera and Elsera as being one year younger than him.
As for the choice, I chose to try and save Robb. We know it is doomed to fail, but I feel like this is what Rodrik would have done in my playthrough. Robb has become one of his closest friends and even though it won't work, I just have to choose it. Also, Haytham, himself another loyal friend, is in there. Since he has no canonical fate, there might still be hope for him.
We'll just have to see. I love reading your thoughts as always, and I can't wait to hear what you have to say for the last one. Cheers!
Once this story is over, I'll have to give it a reread in its entirety to say it for sure, but right now I feel like this has to be my favou… morerite part in the entire story. Both PoV's have been amazing. Asher had me at the edge of my seat, but to be fair, almost all of Asher's recent parts cause me to feel this way. Seeing how everything played out, I am glad a small majority refused Bezzaq's offer. In itself, this offer was generous and his behaviour made it clear that it was honest, to my surprise. The thing is, Nyx proved once again that she is absolutely unpredictable and almost uncontrollable. I wouldn't have felt good having our heroes standing side by side with her during the fight, especially since Kara and Beskha are not the kind of people to watch their tongue with someone like Nyx around. I didn't even want to work for Bezzaq, though the alternative, escaping from Yunkai, felt far too risky for me. And as glad as I am that it worked … [view original content]
Well this chapter I can say without a doubt was the best one yet for both parts and that is saying something! For Asher I chose to fight for themselves! At this point in his story it seems he prefers to fight with just his small group rather than work for someone else. Plus I would think they would be a bit apprehensive about helping the second sons after the problems they have had with them!
Ah Rodrik's choice is again an insanely tough decision but I actually voted for him to abandon Robb. I am definitely second guessing that now but it does sound like Rodrik knows that King Robb is finished plus I feel like Rodrik's loyalty lies with House Forrester over all! I am hoping Haytham snuck out before The Rains of Castamere started though! But obviously knowing how the red wedding turns out for Rodrik I am hoping he can at least take solace in the fact he was able to kill Mortimer!
Aaaaandddddd Part 20 (the final part) is here! And it's super long. Like stupidly long. It probably has loads of typos and other things of that nature... all of which I will now sit here and frantically worry about, like the paranoid neurotic I am.
Anyway, it's been great writing all of this, I've really enjoyed the whole experience and I hope you have, too.
And I look forward to hearing all of your thoughts. Thank you, and enjoy
Wow. Just wow. Forget what I said about the last part. This is undoubtedly and by far my favourite part in the entire story. The rest of the story was utterly amazing, but this finale was just that good. I don't even know where to begin, I got so much to say.. Perhaps I should start with Asher's part. Jesus, it's going to take a long while to express my opinion XD
Asher's part was epic. I'm sure it was the longest PoV in the entire story and it surely is my favourite from Asher's storyline. While I would have loved for them to join Dany, I have to admit that fighting for themselves felt more Asher-like in the end. The entire banter at the beginning, the entire first 4 pages, cracked me up. That was hilarious and the way you've been writing Arkara and Krendak all this time has been absolutely priceless to me, though they wouldn't have been that funny without Asher and Beskha. And then you effortlessly gave all of it a more sombre tone with Asher's reflection right before the Battle of Yunkai, which I liked a lot as well. Speaking about the Battle, that was exactly what I was missing in the show. Your fighting descriptions will never cease to amaze me and I feel they have been the finest in this entire part. Everything up to the fight with Nyx, especially the fight alongside Daario, Jorah and Grey Worm, was already stunning, but when Asher and Kara finally got to fight the champion, that has without any doubt been my favourite fight in the entire story. I knew Nyx was a beast, but I underestimated just how many hits she was actually able to take. The entire part, I was sure she'd actually end up killing Kara and she came close to do it more than once. Though I loved that Kara took the chance for some pretty gruesome vengeance. And hell, not even getting her face split in half was enough to take Nyx down. Now, it is no secret that I hated her with a passion. I read with glee how she took one wound after the other, each of them more serious than before, but even I have to admit, this was the definition of badass. I think that is the only good thing that can be said about Nyx. The aftermath of the battle, the ending to Asher's storyline was bittersweet. It is perhaps the happiest this actually could have ended for everyone. In fact, it was more than I dared to hope for Kara and Kren, who got their personal happy ending. I loved how Asher's storyline actually ended on a happy tone, with the siblings settling down for good and starting a new life, Asher and Kara ending their romance on very good terms, and him and Beskha going down the route that leads to the events of the game. Despite the bittersweet tone with Asher and Beskha saying goodbye to Arkara and Krendak, this was a hopeful and optimistic ending, which greatly helped to counterbalance the obvious bleakness of Rodrik's part.
Which leads me to Rodrik's part. There is no doubt that this is my favourite part from Rodrik's storyline as well and it is also by far the darkest part of the entire story. The other parts don't even come close to the Red Wedding. Naturally, this was to be expected, but still, it was even harder than I thought. It triggered my bad case of Red Wedding trauma and reminded me of the day I first read it in the books. Your version got me harder than the show version, because written stuff always gets me harder than just seeing it on a screen. And while Asher's final part, like Asher's whole story, always had a bit of hope despite all hardships, which I think certainly belongs into Game of Thrones just as well to keep it realistic, Rodrik's storyline, especially this part, embodied the bleakest and darkest moments GoT is known for and I applaud you for it. Like Asher, Rodrik got his own terrifying opponent in Mortimer, who was a beast not unlike Nyx, but entirely different at the same time. This was a nice similarity to Asher's storyline, with both of them getting one amazing final fight. The fights in Rodrik's parts were gritty and brutal and you did a great job portraying the hopelessness of this entire battle. Haytham's death was expected, but still, a small part of me remained hoping for him to escape. Though I guess, in the end it felt right to end Rodrik's storyline without even the slightest bit of happiness. For extra tragic points, I never saw it coming that Roose used Rodrik's sword to kill Robb. Gosh, I don't even want to imagine how Rodrik must feel after returning to Ironrath, knowing that he could have prevented the Red Wedding and that his own sword killed his king. And then Mortimer, who had definitely the most bloody death in the entire story. He probably felt literally no pain, but still, it was bloody, slightly disturbing, but also satisfying and well-deserved. Like Asher, you ended this storyline perfectly and its grim darkness formed a strong contrast to the bittersweet hopefulness of Asher's part.
Now, the polls at the very end. For my favourite character, I had to think for a while. It is never hard for me to name my favourites, though narrowing them down onto one character was almost impossible for me. In the end, I was torn between Axel, Arkara and Naomi. I feel Axel and Arkara had the strongest presence in their respective storylines and were the original characters who had the most influence on how the parts develop. Naomi meanwhile was one character whom I loved greatly and whom I would have loved to have around for longer. Arkara was priceless and I can only thank you for writing her that perfectly. Her constant snark with basically everyone, especially with Asher and Krendak, greatly enriched the story for me, as did her fling with Asher. Though ultimately, I settled for Axel as my favourite character. He had the most incredible transformation in the entire story, from a seemingly hopeless case of a bad guy, to someone who slowly started to redeem himself despite having done some truly terrible things. Then there were his talks to Rodrik and Haytham, about redemption and forgiveness, which were among my favourite moments in the story. In retrospect, I would have even rather voted to save him over Haytham, just because I enjoy his character so much.
The storyline I enjoyed the most was Asher's, simply because I had a personal involvement there. You managed to make me care for every character in some way, though obviously, Kara and Kren had a special place in my heart. I never expected them to live as long as they did or be as important as they were, so save to say, I was incredibly happy with Asher's storyline. Also, they were part of the reason I enjoyed the second half more than the first. Obviously, I have only started to follow the story when the first half was already over, so I felt more connected to the second half. I also think that this was were the story had its more emotional moments, as well as the harder choices. Not to say that the first half didn't have emotional moments as well, though the second one definitely had more in my opinion.
Ultimately, I rated this story as great. I don't know if it is the best fanfiction ever, because I haven't read every fanfiction ever, though I must say, it is a strong contender. There are many stories I enjoy in this forum and this was definitely one of the best. Your work, connecting what we know about the canonical events of the Forrester brothers with your own amazing ideas into one wonderful story is simply impressive. There's no other word for it. Jaw-droppingly impressive. I had a grin on my face when reading the question what you could have done better and seeing the option to have harder choices. Seriously, in no other story have I ever had to make choices that hard, continuously. Perhaps my own investment into Asher's story made it seem that way for me, but most of Rodrik's choices were similarly hard, especially towards the end. That said, there are two things I could think of that could have been better. First, more pages, which was also the option I took. This is simply because I have enjoyed this story so much that I would have greatly enjoyed more pages and a longer story in general. That said, the length felt fitting, though I think any other length would have been fitting as well with writing of such outstanding quality. Also, one thing I enjoy with these stories is the chance for original PoV's. In the premise of this story, sticking to the PoV's of Asher and Rodrik felt like the right decision, but at the same time reading things from the perspective of Axel, Haytham or Arkara would have been fun as well. Though that is no real criticism. Sticking to the premise of the story, the backstory of the Forrester brothers, the length and the two PoV's were a good decision, it's just something I enjoy in general.
The question as to what I like the most was also hard to answer, though I ultimately settled for the dialogue. Especially Asher's parts lived from the wonderful dialogue. There was Asher, whose sarcasm was delightful, especially when paired with the dry humour of Beskha, the sly wit of Naomi, the relative seriousness of Krendak and especially the sarcasm of Arkara, which was so similar to Asher's. Also, the interaction between these characters when they weren't talking to him, like the constant teasing between the siblings or the wonderful talks between Beskha and Naomi carried Asher's story greatly. Similarly, Rodrik had intense talks with Jaime Lannister and Roose Bolton and the memorable exchanges between Rodrik, Haytham and Axel.
Finally, the last question about your next work, which got me thinking. The two options I ruled out pretty quickly were 'Nothing' and 'A canon novelization of the game'. The first, because you are such a talented writer that I would love to see more. The second, because the canon novelization sounds less intriguing than a direct continuation of Two Brothers, with references to the events of this story. Two Sisters was something I would like, especially because Talia is my favourite non-PoV in the game, while Mira is, depending on the episode, my favourite PoV. However, I'm not sure how much material for a story as epic as Two Brothers there might be. After all, it always felt to me as if both sisters were at the beginnings of their respective journeys at the beginning of the game, especially in Talia's case, while the brothers obviously had strong potential for a backstory. The new story is something that intrigues me greatly, because you would obviously be much more free to take the story into any direction, while Two Brothers had a very defined ending from the very beginning. Ultimately though, this is up to you. So, you decide, DillonDex, you decide Out of interest though, what would your idea for a whole new story be? Like, do you have a general idea what it would be about? That might influence my opinion on this final question.
And one question I grew curious about while writing this comment: Have you actually managed to include every submitted character? If I'm not forgetting anyone, there were six in Asher's part, with Naomi, Adryana, Lung Yao (I guess he is submitted?), Kara, Kren and Nyx and I counted five in Rodrik's, with Rickard, Philo, Haytham, Axel and Mortimer. Judging by the number of voters on each part, you definitely had more readers though, so that got me thinking.
There, I'm done! I wrote a damn novel for a comment, I hope you are happy now In all seriousness, thank you for writing this wonderful story. It has been one hell of a ride and I enjoyed every second of reading it. Whatever you decide to write next, count me in as a reader!
Aaaaandddddd Part 20 (the final part) is here! And it's super long. Like stupidly long. It probably has loads of typos and other things of t… morehat nature... all of which I will now sit here and frantically worry about, like the paranoid neurotic I am.
Anyway, it's been great writing all of this, I've really enjoyed the whole experience and I hope you have, too.
And I look forward to hearing all of your thoughts. Thank you, and enjoy
Wow. Just wow. Forget what I said about the last part. This is undoubtedly and by far my favourite part in the entire story.
Well, it was certainly the longest. But I hoped you would say that. Thanks! I tried to cover everything I could, this being the last part and all, and it even exceeded my own prediction of about 23-25 pages. Nope, it ended up being 32! I was just so determined on ending it on a high note, which hopefully and apparently, I did... so yay! I won't quote everything you said, instead I'll reply bit by bit (otherwise this post would stretch on forever :P)
Yes, Nyx is a beast and a badass! When I decided she wasn't going to kill Kren or Kara, I knew I had to showcase, in another way, how strong and brutal she is. So that was the answer - having her take ungodly amounts of damage, and keep fighting on. I did set up Kara to die on multiple occasions, though, to keep the suspense but I always knew she was going to survive. I couldn't do that to you, after all this
In regards to the Daario, Grey Worm and Jorah fight, it always slightly bothered me in the show, how it never really explained how they got out of that mess with the Yunkish guard. So I explained how! And I couldn't resist having all of those badasses fighting together, if just for a little bit.
In terms of the ending for Asher, bitter-sweet was what I was going for - so hearing you call it that, is very good to hear! But as you say, I did want to put an optimistic spin on it, since Rodrik's story would end so pessimistically. Which was unavoidable, really. I thought the balance worked well between their storylines... and it even allows you to head-canon, how Kren and Kara live their good life, once they arrive in Dorne! And I knew it was your favourite storyline, but I wouldn't have guessed about the dialogue (for the polls, I mean) I worked hard making the characters really shine in those moments, and hopefully be funny. So I'm happy you liked it all.
Regarding your favourite character, I share your love for Axel. He was great, and I missed writing him after he was gone. I also thought the second half of the story, was superior to the first. I just knew more, by then, about what I was doing - and those parts tended to be longer, and more intricate. But that's just how I feel, and apparently you, as well. And as for your rating of "great" that's more than good enough for me! I also feel think original POV'S and more pages would have helped, in many capacities. It's something I'll think on for the future!
Now, onto Rodrik's storyline (I'm writing a novel here, as well, I think!) it was definitely his darkest chapter so far, as you felt... and I'm glad you thought it was his best, as well. It was certainly eventful and to me, it felt like a necessary come-down after Asher's somewhat upbeat ending. I mean, it wouldn't be "Game of Thrones" without some serious bleakness, right? :P I also see you noticed the similarities between Nyx and Mortimer - that was intentional, I wanted both Asher and Rodrik's storylines to mirror the other, in some ways, that being one of them. Plus, they both suffered some pretty brutal demises. And yes, halfway through writing the scene with Rodrik and Roose, I realized it would be wonderful sadism to have Bolton use his sword on Robb Stark. That was quite a wonderfully horrific addition, I think. I mean, managing to make the Red Wedding worse is quite a feat. It was sad saying goodbye to Haytham, but I knew there was no way he could realistically survive the Red Wedding... and he was never going to.
Ultimately though, this is up to you. So, you decide, DillonDex, you decide Out of interest though, what would your idea for a whole new story be? Like, do you have a general idea what it would be about? That might influence my opinion on this final question.
The new story would be a whole new story, set in Westeros, e.g. following a completely unique house with unique characters, in their own original storyline that may or may not tie into the universe at large. So, a bit like the game, in that sense.
And one question I grew curious about while writing this comment: Have you actually managed to include every submitted character? If I'm not forgetting anyone, there were six in Asher's part, with Naomi, Adryana, Lung Yao (I guess he is submitted?), Kara, Kren and Nyx and I counted five in Rodrik's, with Rickard, Philo, Haytham, Axel and Mortimer. Judging by the number of voters on each part, you definitely had more readers though, so that got me thinking.
I manage to submit almost all of them, at least by name, but I stopped submittance towards the end, as I realized I wasn't going to be able to include them all. I just didn't have enough pages or time, unfortunately. but yes, Lung Yao was submitted!
There, I'm done! I wrote a damn novel for a comment, I hope you are happy now In all seriousness, thank you for writing this wonderful story. It has been one hell of a ride and I enjoyed every second of reading it. Whatever you decide to write next, count me in as a reader!
I am happy now, I have been eagerly awaiting your comment, and I was not disappointed! I literally read obsessively over your words, when you reply... that sounds weird, but you get my point! I'm so happy you joined me on this little journey, and that you liked its conclusion. If I ever write anything on here again (which I very likely will) I look forward to our conversations, continuing! (Oh, and thanks for Kren and Kara, they were great!)
Wow. Just wow. Forget what I said about the last part. This is undoubtedly and by far my favourite part in the entire story. The rest of the… more story was utterly amazing, but this finale was just that good. I don't even know where to begin, I got so much to say.. Perhaps I should start with Asher's part. Jesus, it's going to take a long while to express my opinion XD
Asher's part was epic. I'm sure it was the longest PoV in the entire story and it surely is my favourite from Asher's storyline. While I would have loved for them to join Dany, I have to admit that fighting for themselves felt more Asher-like in the end. The entire banter at the beginning, the entire first 4 pages, cracked me up. That was hilarious and the way you've been writing Arkara and Krendak all this time has been absolutely priceless to me, though they wouldn't have been that funny without Asher and Beskha. And then you effortlessly gave all of it a more sombre tone with … [view original content]
It's finally finished! Oh my god. We should throw a party to celebrate.
Everything was amazing and definitely not expected at all; save for the part where Gared finds Rodrik.
I know I've not commented about Asher as much as I have about Rodrik, but I have to admit that final fight scene in Yunkai with the Second Sons and the Unsullied had me on the edge of my seat. I loved the dialogue and the exchange between Beskha and Kren about Asher and Kara, I laughed. A shame we won't get to see them any longer but it is good that they're getting away from the old world of Slaver's Bay. Good luck to the both of them in Dorne.
And Rodrik's part, oh gosh. He tried so hard to get to Robb and then everything went uphill from there. The fight scene between him and Mortimer was great. He finally gets vengeance for everything that's happened. I'm glad that Mortimer suffered like he did. Roose was loose and I hated that he tried to use Rodrik's sword to kill Robb; in other words, your creepy Roose is good.
Now we all know what happens next game-wise but it would be good to see like a novelisation of the canon events of the game. I can imagine that the votes would be close. I am interested to know, if you do a novelisation of the game, how are you going to do the final choice between Rodrik and Asher? I mean, I'm gonna cry because having to choose between them was hard enough the first time but I know you're gonna do an amazing job either way.
I've already recommended this story to one of my friends and I know she's going to love this fanfiction just as much as I do. This is one long comment, wowe. Good luck with whatever step you take next in writing, and stop feeling bad about Adryana. I'm happy enough that she got to make an appearance and die as a BAMF by Asher's hand.
You should do a story before Asher was exiled. Then you could write about his affair with Gwyn. And the Rodrik part of the story could follow him and Eleana. I would love to read that and I think you have what it takes to write Asher and Rodrik's fellings and emotions with the the two Ladies. You could write out Asher and Rodrik's lives when they were barley out of their teen years. Or what ever you want, either way I'll read what you post. Thanks for the adventures.
Aaaaandddddd Part 20 (the final part) is here! And it's super long. Like stupidly long. It probably has loads of typos and other things of t… morehat nature... all of which I will now sit here and frantically worry about, like the paranoid neurotic I am.
Anyway, it's been great writing all of this, I've really enjoyed the whole experience and I hope you have, too.
And I look forward to hearing all of your thoughts. Thank you, and enjoy
Agreed! (Sorry for the long reply, I was asleep... but it's party time now!)
I loved the dialogue and the exchange between Beskha and Kren about Asher and Kara, I laughed. A shame we won't get to see them any longer but it is good that they're getting away from the old world of Slaver's Bay. Good luck to the both of them in Dorne.
I'll miss them all, too. still, they all lived to fight another day, so that's a pretty good result. And may they drink until they drop on some beach somewhere.
I'm glad that Mortimer suffered like he did. Roose was loose and I hated that he tried to use Rodrik's sword to kill Robb; in other words, your creepy Roose is good.
I did try! I know Roose wasn't in the story much, but he certainly made an impact in the short time that he was. And yes, Mortimer Warrick finally got what he deserved
Now we all know what happens next game-wise but it would be good to see like a novelisation of the canon events of the game. I can imagine that the votes would be close. I am interested to know, if you do a novelisation of the game, how are you going to do the final choice between Rodrik and Asher? I mean, I'm gonna cry because having to choose between them was hard enough the first time but I know you're gonna do an amazing job either way.
Well thank you for that, and yes I would very likely do a poll for that choice (and many others) were that option to win-out on the polls.
I've already recommended this story to one of my friends and I know she's going to love this fanfiction just as much as I do. This is one long comment, wowe. Good luck with whatever step you take next in writing, and stop feeling bad about Adryana. I'm happy enough that she got to make an appearance and die as a BAMF by Asher's hand.
Well, thank you again, both for the comment, and getting me another reader! I still hope more people come and read it, even though it's over. And I'll try my best to stop feeling bad about Adryana, in fact I'll make a promise here and now, should I make another story - whatever character you submit, will get a massive role in the story! So yes, that's it! I'm so glad you liked it, and decided to comment, I really do appreciate it, and hopefully we can do this all again, sometime in the future.
It's finally finished! Oh my god. We should throw a party to celebrate.
Everything was amazing and definitely not expected at all; save f… moreor the part where Gared finds Rodrik.
I know I've not commented about Asher as much as I have about Rodrik, but I have to admit that final fight scene in Yunkai with the Second Sons and the Unsullied had me on the edge of my seat. I loved the dialogue and the exchange between Beskha and Kren about Asher and Kara, I laughed. A shame we won't get to see them any longer but it is good that they're getting away from the old world of Slaver's Bay. Good luck to the both of them in Dorne.
And Rodrik's part, oh gosh. He tried so hard to get to Robb and then everything went uphill from there. The fight scene between him and Mortimer was great. He finally gets vengeance for everything that's happened. I'm glad that Mortimer suffered like he did. Roose was loose and I hated that he tried to use Rodrik's sword … [view original content]
Interesting premise! Following them at Ironrath, and the like, but I'm not sure I fancy the idea of doing a prequel-prequel :P I'll think on it, though, I promise!
either way I'll read what you post. Thanks for the adventures.
And thank you for that, as well as reading and commenting. Everyone who read and voted, were the reason's I kept going until the end, and why I likely will do another. It's been great for me, too, and certainly an adventure.
You should do a story before Asher was exiled. Then you could write about his affair with Gwyn. And the Rodrik part of the story could follo… morew him and Eleana. I would love to read that and I think you have what it takes to write Asher and Rodrik's fellings and emotions with the the two Ladies. You could write out Asher and Rodrik's lives when they were barley out of their teen years. Or what ever you want, either way I'll read what you post. Thanks for the adventures.
Ugh... I had such a long comment and the page fucked up. ARGH! XD
A bit sad it's over,I loved this story. I found Rodrik's slow and boring at first but It grew incredibly exciting as the story continued. I loved Asher's from the very beginning.
Favourite story was Rodrik's. It had more interesting relationships and rivalrys.
I want to say Naomi was my favourite oc but I made her so I'll say Kara. I loved her banter with the other characters and her simple humor as well as her 'fuck you!' attitude.
I voted the story as great. It was awesome but I wouldn't say the best ever.
I liked the banter and relationships most and the Gwyn references never failed to make me smile.
For what to do next I think you should do what you want to do. However there is an idea I have that I'd like to send your way via pm later. I promise not to be offended if you don't like it.
Ugh... I had such a long comment and the page fucked up. ARGH! XD
I hate it when that happens :S I once wrote a whole novel-sized post in the general chat about something or other, then accidently clicked off the page... rip. I mean I'm over it now, but there isn't a day that goes by, where I haven't thought about it.
A bit sad it's over,I loved this story. I found Rodrik's slow and boring at first but It grew incredibly exciting as the story continued. I loved Asher's from the very beginning. Favourite story was Rodrik's. It had more interesting relationships and rivalrys.
Fair enough. I'm sad it's over, as well. but as I've said, I'm open to doing something else, eventually. And I'm excited to hear about this idea of yours!
I want to say Naomi was my favourite oc but I made her so I'll say Kara. I loved her banter with the other characters and her simple humor as well as her 'fuck you!' attitude. I voted the story as great. It was awesome but I wouldn't say the best ever.
WHAT!? Haha, nah, that's perfectly fine with me. I'll take "great" very happily. Though whoever it was who voted "best ever," is my new bestie. And a good samaritan, to boot. Anyway, I thought you'd vote for Naomi - but Kara is certainly a great choice, as well! Axel is actually leading at the moment, which is a massive (but very pleasant) surprise.
For what to do next I think you should do what you want to do. However there is an idea I have that I'd like to send your way via pm later. I promise not to be offended if you don't like it.
Haha, well, I look forward to hearing it. You've been with me here since the beginning, so thank you for that. It's been great.
Ugh... I had such a long comment and the page fucked up. ARGH! XD
A bit sad it's over,I loved this story. I found Rodrik's slow and borin… moreg at first but It grew incredibly exciting as the story continued. I loved Asher's from the very beginning.
Favourite story was Rodrik's. It had more interesting relationships and rivalrys.
I want to say Naomi was my favourite oc but I made her so I'll say Kara. I loved her banter with the other characters and her simple humor as well as her 'fuck you!' attitude.
I voted the story as great. It was awesome but I wouldn't say the best ever.
I liked the banter and relationships most and the Gwyn references never failed to make me smile.
For what to do next I think you should do what you want to do. However there is an idea I have that I'd like to send your way via pm later. I promise not to be offended if you don't like it.
Now that the story's over I want to talk about Naomi and confess that I'm disappointed with how she was handled.
First I want to say I loved how you wrote her, she was exactly how I imagined. She was sly, mischevous, flirtatious, loved using nicknames, and true to her character betrayed Asher and Beskha very early on. And I loved her mini-rivalry with Beskha, it made sense and fit so well.
My disappointment is mainly with her death. I didn't want to say anything when it happened but I didn't like it. I'm not disappointed because she died. I thought she might because of her issue with betraying the people she ends up with regardless of how much she cares about them. I feared that she would die in either an attempt at betrayal or a moment of redemption. It felt too soon and seemed to lack purpose. It felt like she died for cheap feels and just because someone had to die because it's game of thrones and you were a few chapters in without a major character death. When we had our pm discussion about Naomi and you mentioned how much you liked her and at the time was your favourite, I won't lie it boosted my ego and expectectations up quite a bit. I expected some real epic moments and emotional dialogue but I can't help but feel that didn't happen. I spent a lot of time and effort into writing her but I did like her up until that death so it wasn't completely wasted.
I am obviously biased but I can't help but feel this way. Hopefully I didn't come across as too harsh and you don't take this too personally.
Hey, I appreciate your honesty. I wouldn't want you to lie about it, so it's cool. Regarding her death, it served the purpose of propelling Asher's story in its new direction (to Slaver's Bay, with Kren and Kara) and because, people die. Sometimes, a bit like heroes (e.g. Axel's) and other times, they just, well, die (Haytham, Naomi, and others like Adryana, Lung Yao, who were submitted, and only got one chapter!) Though to be fair, Naomi did die a hero, really. Anyway, it's not so much me trying to be edgy or trying to live up to the Game of Thrones philosophy... it's just the harsh reality of things, I guess. Especially in the choice that got chosen - Asher, Beskha and Naomi going up against the entire force of the Second Sons. Obviously, Asher couldn't die, Beskha neither, so it had to be her. Any other magical way out would have been cheap, I felt, so while I get where you're coming from about being disappointed, and feeling it was too soon - I don't think it lacked purpose, her death.
The whole idea was that it was purposely unfinished, in a sense. It's the same sort of thing with Robb Stark - it's so tragic, because his role was so undone. He was meant to capture Casterly Rock, take Joffrey's head etc, etc, but it never happened. He just, died. And it sucks. As was the case with Naomi. But I'll grant everyone the criticism, I handled the submitted characters poorly. I just never found the time to fit them all in, and there's many, many more characters that got done over far worse than Naomi did. :P just ask @RamsaysPlotArmour
But honestly, I did love Naomi, and was sad to see her go. Do I regret her death? A bit. I should have held off, for another few parts, but what's done is done... and I am sorry. If it helps, I'll make you the same promise I made RamsaysPlotArmour - that in my next story, should you read it, which I hope you will, whatever character you submit, will get a full, major role. No bullshit. I won't make the same mistakes again, regarding submitted characters. So yeah, I get where you're coming from, hopefully you get where I'm coming from, too.
Now that the story's over I want to talk about Naomi and confess that I'm disappointed with how she was handled.
First I want to say I lo… moreved how you wrote her, she was exactly how I imagined. She was sly, mischevous, flirtatious, loved using nicknames, and true to her character betrayed Asher and Beskha very early on. And I loved her mini-rivalry with Beskha, it made sense and fit so well.
My disappointment is mainly with her death. I didn't want to say anything when it happened but I didn't like it. I'm not disappointed because she died. I thought she might because of her issue with betraying the people she ends up with regardless of how much she cares about them. I feared that she would die in either an attempt at betrayal or a moment of redemption. It felt too soon and seemed to lack purpose. It felt like she died for cheap feels and just because someone had to die because it's game of thrones and you were a few chapters in without a… [view original content]
Yeah I understand. And I probably wouldn't feel this way if I didn't create her. You did really well with her though, don't forget that.
And you don't have to make my character major because I was disappointed. You should make someone major because that's where they belong. I think you should what YOU think is best for the story not what readers might think.
Hey, I appreciate your honesty. I wouldn't want you to lie about it, so it's cool. Regarding her death, it served the purpose of propelling … moreAsher's story in its new direction (to Slaver's Bay, with Kren and Kara) and because, people die. Sometimes, a bit like heroes (e.g. Axel's) and other times, they just, well, die (Haytham, Naomi, and others like Adryana, Lung Yao, who were submitted, and only got one chapter!) Though to be fair, Naomi did die a hero, really. Anyway, it's not so much me trying to be edgy or trying to live up to the Game of Thrones philosophy... it's just the harsh reality of things, I guess. Especially in the choice that got chosen - Asher, Beskha and Naomi going up against the entire force of the Second Sons. Obviously, Asher couldn't die, Beskha neither, so it had to be her. Any other magical way out would have been cheap, I felt, so while I get where you're coming from about being disappointed, and feeling it was too so… [view original content]
Of course, but none of this would be possible (or very satisfying) unless people like you, and others, read, and voted and commented...
As such, I owe you, at least a bit. Especially when you spend so much time, effort and energy coming up with these great characters.
And more importantly, I want to give these characters the spotlight. It keeps things fresh for everyone. I just didn't quite manage it this time. But I will next time. And that's just what the promise is, really.
Edit: oh, and stop leaving me in suspense, I want to hear what this idea is! :P
Yeah I understand. And I probably wouldn't feel this way if I didn't create her. You did really well with her though, don't forget that.
… more And you don't have to make my character major because I was disappointed. You should make someone major because that's where they belong. I think you should what YOU think is best for the story not what readers might think.
Of course, but none of this would be possible (or very satisfying) unless people like you, and others, read, and voted and commented...
A… mores such, I owe you, at least a bit. Especially when you spend so much time, effort and energy coming up with these great characters.
And more importantly, I want to give these characters the spotlight. It keeps things fresh for everyone. I just didn't quite manage it this time. But I will next time. And that's just what the promise is, really.
Edit: oh, and stop leaving me in suspense, I want to hear what this idea is! :P
Comments
[Asher] I can't see talking with these people going anywhere good. And I'm not gonna agree with Kren just to appease him.
[Rodrik] It's a good question and there's no real wrong answer. I'm gonna go with friends. I consider their Houses to be close but family seems a bit much.
I imagine this is where Robb offers to join their Houses by marriage.
Maybe Talia and Bran? Obviously I'm joking but it's an interesting thought. Could Rodrik really refuse? Imagine what it'd do for his House. To be connected to the wardens of the North by marriage would be an amazing opportunity.
This part did feel like filler but it was the good kind. I enjoyed it. The fling between Asher & Kara and then the talk with Robb and Rodrik.
Is Dezzaq meant to be Bezzaq from Episode 2: The Lost Lords? Or do they just have similar names?
I see a pattern in Asher's storyline
Safe for the choice in part 16, every Asher choice in the last couple of parts has been very hard to pick. Rodrik's choices seem to challenge his morals more often, while most of Asher's choices tend to have the potential for immediate, physical consequences, so Asher's choices tend to be the ones I find harder to pick. Also, aside from a few rare occasions, I am almost always convinced that I have chosen wrong for him. I wonder if there even is a right choice this time.
Well, Asher doesn't have it much easier, with people like Nyx around. He has a few more happy moments perhaps, but Rodrik is at war after all. In terms of enjoyableness, I'd say their storylines are pretty much equal for me most of the times, though Asher clearly won by a landslide in this part. That said, the conclusions to both storylines are definitely going to keep me at the edge of my seat. I got my speculations, but I tend to be wrong more often than not.
Oh yeah... I was almost over the Red Wedding, until Robb came along in this part. Seeing how close the two became makes it even more tragic.
It's amazing that your initial plans regarding the length of the story have worked out so well! I originally planned to be done with FoT by now, but it's going to continue keeping me busy for god knows how long, years perhaps, so I know first hand that plans like this rarely work out. I'm in awe at what you've done so far and if you want to do another story, I'd love that and you can count on me reading it
How dare you. Are you implying I'm some idiot who misspelt the name, and all along, has been planning to sneakily re-edit it?
...Because you know, that's, erm, yeah okay that's completely true.
It is meant to be Bezzaq. I thought it was Dezzaq, and was so confidant in the fact, that I didn't even bother to check. I will fix all of that soon. :P my bad!
XD I noticed it in the last part but wasn't sure if I should ask but it just bothered me too much.
Aaaaandddddd Part 18 is up. Still planting seeds here, but we're on a good path, I think.
Enjoy
I don't know why, but for some reason I was convinced that Asher is currently in Meereen and the revelation that they have been in Yunkai all along came as a huge surprise. I was thinking all this time how Asher and Beskha could end up in Yunkai together with Bezzaq and now I find out they have been there all along XD I don't know why I was thinking this, but it appears I have heavily misread something in an earlier part. Anyways, this part was great! The fact that Kren has literally no idea about Asher and Kara was hilarious, especially since they all but spelled it out for him. I wonder how he's going to react, though I can't imagine that he disapproves, at least not too much. I doubt he's going to be super thrilled either though. And it appears I was right and Bezzaq indeed needs their help. It is a relatively generous offer, even though the last thing I want is for Asher, Beskha, Kara and Kren to fight the Unsullied, because that is a death sentence. The presence of Nyx is always worrying me as well. However, refusing the offer is a bad idea. We're in Episode 7, Yunkai gets captured in Episode 9. The first time, Bezzaq seemed to have found them with relative ease. Even if he lets them go now, I highly doubt he is not going to order Nyx to follow them, to finish what she started and I don't think they can evade her for 2 episodes, which is likely going to span a couple of days. I hope that there will be a choice to join with Dany's army once the battle for Yunkai begins, to turn against Bezzaq and to feed Nyx her own eyeballs, so I chose to agree to his terms for now. If they want to fight alongside the Unsullied, they have to survive until then. It has never been stated that Asher and co. are actually going to stay loyal to Bezzaq and I hope for a choice to turn against him next time, when the battle has already begun. Alternatively, perhaps they could make it out of Yunkai if they refuse, but this sounds all too risky, especially since I don't trust Bezzaq to really let them go if they refuse him now. It sounds smarter to lure him into a false sense of security first. It's another super-hard choice and I see good and bad with both options, so I am absolutely unsure what to choose. Hell, the more I write, the less convinced I am that I chose correctly, but the other choice does not sound any better. I don't know what to choose
Rodrik's part was great as always, though less intense than Asher's. Instead, it was a perfectly calm way to set up the big finale and it was absolutely heartbreaking to see what a good friend Rodrik has become to Robb over the last few parts. Makes the Red Wedding even worse ;_; I don't have that much to say for his part this time, except that I loved it. Robb is a well-written character, not only in the books and show, but also in your story, so I enjoy every scene with him. For the choice, I chose to go with Robb. The thing is, it surprised me that you offered this choice. We know Rodrik ends up in the Forrester camp during the Red Wedding, so I'm sure you have thought of a reason for him to leave and I am very interested in seeing it. Also, this option possibly means another appearance of Roose and perhaps an appearance of Walder Frey as well, which should be extremely entertaining.
Oh, well I thought it was kinda obvious? xD though maybe not. I rarely read back through my work. And the fact I misspelt "Bezzaq" in the first two parts he appeared, probably didn't help! Oh well, you know now!
Thank you
and I know, I toyed with the idea that maybeee Kren knew for a while, before finally revealing no, he actually hasn't got a clue. Which is pretty funny. And it'll be interesting to see how he reacts - should he find out. I really like this particular choice. On one hand, it's a pretty decent offer, so much so, that asking for more is pretty dangerous. Still, refusing could be the most dangerous of all... not that accepting and therefore trusting them isn't. It's all pretty difficult. Which is great. 
and you were indeed right (yet again) Bezzaq did need their help.
Fair enough, I didn't really know what you'd go for on this one, but I was leaning towards 'agree.' And it's certainly true, they don't have to stay loyal to him forever, should they accept the deal. But I suppose that depends on how events pan out. I'm just glad the show's timeline is working in my favour here, allowing me to end this series with The Red Wedding and The Battle of Yunkai. It's going to be pretty epic... or so I hope.
Haha, that was the idea :P and this is the last "calm before the storm" chapter for Rodrik. It's all down hill from here! I do really like their brief, but loveable bromance, though, and I'm going to miss it. I always figured they'd be decent enough friends, so finally realizing it via this story, has been pretty satisfying.
This choice is actually going to have massive consequences, even though it doesn't seem like it. You're basically deciding whether Rodrik will stick with the Stark's at the Red Wedding, or his Forrester bannerman. And yes, while he ends up there with them in the game, how and why, is left for me to determine. If you notice, he's conveniently and somewhat bizarrely absent from the main Forrester men at the wedding. It's always confused me that - and I can now personally address it! So I look forward to doing so, no matter which choice gets picked
two more to go!
Actually, you made it clear that they have been in Yunkai all along, it has just been me that somehow failed to realize it. The moment I finally realized that they were in Yunkai, I immediately reread the part where they left Astapor and to my surprise, I found out that it has been Yunkai all along. I was also pretty sure that Nyx introduced herself as the champion of Meereen, even though she never did XD
I wonder, what would they ask for if they would ask for more? Gold? They can be damn happy to get out of that mess alive, one way or the other. I am willing to trust Bezzaq though. He needs their help and he is not in a position to double cross them. Nyx is an entirely different case though. She's like a mad dog and I can imagine her turning on the others just for fun. Good thing that no one seems to trust her, so I hope they watch their back with her around.
At first, I was sure that agreeing is the good choice, but the more I thought about it, the more I became conflicted. Now I'm back being relatively confident about it, even though a bad feeling remains. I'm very happy we're going to see the Battle of Yunkai. I was always a bit bummed that we only got to see the small (but very cool) skirmish with Jorah, Grey Worm and Daario instead of the fullblown siege it apparently ended up as. Having the Red Wedding and Battle of Yunkai in one part, that is going to be epic for sure
Robb and Rodrik really have a lot in common, so them becoming friends feels natural. I never really thought of this aspect before, but seeing it in your story makes so much sense that it's my headcanon now.
Oh, this is going to be exciting. Somehow, Rodrik has to get out of the death trap that is the Great Hall of the Twins and I'm sure it's going to be epic. And as much as I'd love to spend more time with the other Forrester's, the thought of seeing people like Walder Frey in the story is just too good to miss.
Actually, I think I remember you referring to her as that once! I didn't think twice about it at the time, but now... oh well, what's done is done! It doesn't really matter too much xD it's quite funny though!
I think it's fair to say none of the groups particularly trust the other... at all. But they have to work together to an extent, for their own reasons. And Nyx, to her credit, is at least incredibly loyal to her master, Bezzaq. So that's a bit of control, there. Though of course, she wants nothing more to kill them all, and eat their bodies. She's like that. Where it will all lead, however, that's up to the polls.
It's certainly a lot of potential to work with, I hope I don't disappoint.
and I felt the same, during the episode, that the "battle" underwhelmed. Hopefully I will alleviate that problem, on behalf of the show. I even snuck in a Jorah reference in this part. 
I get that! It would certainly be a lot of fun to include Roose Bolton again, and Walder Frey for the first time, but we'll see what happens. I'm glad I've turned Robrik in to your headcanon, though!
That's pretty awesome.
These parts really keep getting better and better ! "Quality over quantity" goes the saying, but with your fanfictions we have both. This is my new headcanon now because it definitely seems in character with what I would imagine both Asher and Rodrik doing and thinking. I honestly cannot wait to see it all unravel
Congrats on your work Dillon !
Oh stahp it, you
but thanks. It makes me soo happy to hear that!
And I cannot wait to hear everyone's thoughts, when it's all done!
cheers, mate!
I laughed when Rodrik said that he never listened to the Maester because Asher said he didn't either.
You gotta feel for the Maester. Charged with educating all of the children of the household and only one brother out of three listens to him.
Haha, I'm glad someone picked up on that joke! I've actually snuck it in a few times, both Asher and Rodrik internally monologuing about how they never listened to the Maester :P
It just felt right to me, Ethan being the one who did. Poor Ortengryn! You do have to feel for him, it's true.
[Asher] Refuse! why pretend they aren't enemies. One way or another, this ends in blood.
[Rodrik] Family.
Great part, really looking forward to Asher's future parts. Rodrik's is great too.
Maybe I'm wrong but I don't think Rodrik knows about Josera & Elsera. That reference bothered me a little.
He knows about the North Grove, so why wouldn't he know about them?
It's a bit of a leap, but hardly baseless. I just head-canon it, as Gregor came clean to Rodrik, at some point during the war, in case he died. (Which obviously he does). Rodrik and Gregor are the only Forrester's who know, I consider it.
I get it. But clearly Gregor was a secretive man. He told Duncan about it but Duncan knew almost nothing about it, wheras Gregor clearly knew a lot. The way I see it Gregor told a select view about the North Groves existence in case of his demise, but that's it.
Aaaaandddddd Part 19 is up, the penultimate (and super long) part. We're nearly there.
Enjoy, and let me know your thoughts.
A shout out to Adryana, haha. Thanks Daario
I'm looking forward to what happens with both Asher and Rodrik.
I'm also not prepared for what happens with Rodrik, like I'm having difficulty choosing between attempting to save Robb or going for the fam.
At least Torrhen was somewhat decent about trying to subtly warn Rodrik with what was going to happen.
Haha, it was the least I could do (still feel bad)
It's a tricky one, because obviously we know Robb dies anyway, yet Rodrik doesn't; so deciding what he would do, or what you'd want him to do, is definitely difficult.
True. He did try, bless him, but Rodrik just wasn't in the mood. Torrhen's a bit like the Maester, in that regard. :P thanks for reading mate, and I hope you like the final part, when it comes out.
Once this story is over, I'll have to give it a reread in its entirety to say it for sure, but right now I feel like this has to be my favourite part in the entire story. Both PoV's have been amazing. Asher had me at the edge of my seat, but to be fair, almost all of Asher's recent parts cause me to feel this way. Seeing how everything played out, I am glad a small majority refused Bezzaq's offer. In itself, this offer was generous and his behaviour made it clear that it was honest, to my surprise. The thing is, Nyx proved once again that she is absolutely unpredictable and almost uncontrollable. I wouldn't have felt good having our heroes standing side by side with her during the fight, especially since Kara and Beskha are not the kind of people to watch their tongue with someone like Nyx around. I didn't even want to work for Bezzaq, though the alternative, escaping from Yunkai, felt far too risky for me. And as glad as I am that it worked out, it proved to be risky indeed. I literally held my breath when Kara opted to stay back. Of course, Asher was having none of it and their brief exchange that followed was one of the sweetest moments in the entire story. What seriously had me dying though was the talk between Kara and Kren after they reached the Second Son camp. That was priceless and no matter what happens in the next part, I'm going to miss these two. As for the choice, I chose to work for Daenerys. As much as I like Kara's reasoning, working on their own during a siege is by far the most risky choice and I don't want to stress her luck even more. Having no allies during a siege may led to them getting caught in the crossfire. The Second Sons have made them a generous offer and even though I'm probably in the minority when I say I like Daario (after the recast at least), I wouldn't want to work for him, not if Daenerys is the alternative. Say what you want about her, but Season 3 Dany is one of the most morally good characters in the show. There's a reason why people like Jorah and Barristan, whom I both see as very decent people as well, love her so much. It's debatable if she truly is the queen Westeros needs, but she is definitely the one I would like to serve, because she undoubtedly cares for those she rules over. There's also the thing that the service of Asher, Beskha, Kara and Kren should be highly interesting for her. After all, they have inside knowledge of the current situation in Yunkai and are only second behind Drogon when it comes to the highest master kill-count in Slaver's Bay. While Dany herself is guaranteed to be too busy to meet them personally, there are still her advisors that could make a deal with our heroes. In any way, with the siege of Yunkai on its way and Nyx still alive and well, it sounds like there's a lot of stuff happening in the next part and I am excited.
Despite my personal bias for Asher's storyline, Rodrik's part managed to be just as intense for me. I loved how you set up the Red Wedding. I had my teeth clenched the entire read and I felt angry, really, really angry at that bastard Walder Frey. Knowing what is going to happen made me greatly appreciate all these subtle hints and the suspense was terrifying. It was nice seeing Walder Frey in the story, as well as another appearance for his sons and their stupid hats. Their talk was so full of foreshadowing, I liked that a lot. But my favourite moment in Rodrik's PoV in this part was definitely the talk with Gregor. I always felt Gregor has been much too underused in the game, so it is nice seeing him fleshed out a bit more in your story. It made me wonder though, since Rodrik knows so well about the North Grove, are Josera and Elsera older or younger than him in your story? I always thought that they were older, though Rodrik's talk made me consider that its the other way round. The short scene with Torrhen was pretty cool, he definitely is the most honourable living Whitehill. And Mortimer that sadistic creep made another memorable appearance. It was really well-done how he revealed the trap, just as it was too late for Rodrik to prevent it. Their entire talk gave me the chills and I feel like there's going to be a final confrontation soon. This is the perfect opportunity for Mortimer to kill his target and I doubt he'll let it pass. As for the choice, I chose to try and save Robb. We know it is doomed to fail, but I feel like this is what Rodrik would have done in my playthrough. Robb has become one of his closest friends and even though it won't work, I just have to choose it. Also, Haytham, himself another loyal friend, is in there. Since he has no canonical fate, there might still be hope for him.
[Asher] Fuck everyone but us!
[Rodrik] Can't leave Haytham now. Not after all this. Although I don't see him surviving we have to try.
This was awesome! Can't wait to see what happens next.
Well, thanks
I'm surprised how long this part ended up, but I was really happy with it in the end, so I'm glad you liked it. I haven't even started on the next one yet, but I imagine it'll be about the same length. Hopefully, they'll both conclude in great fashion!
Well, Bezzaq seemed honest :P but we will see the full extent of it and him, in the finale. I am surprised the "refuse" option won out in the end, but all's well that ends well, and I quite liked that option.
I will try to live up to that hype! And I thought you would go with Daenerys, for some reason. It's winning at the moment, so we shall see
unfortunately, I can't include a conversation with her, as Asher and her don't meet until the game, but I'll find something good if that choice wins.
My interpretation is: Gregor has only told three people about the North Grove. Duncan Tuttle before he left (though he didn't give specifics), and Rodrik (with most of the specifics) in case Gregor died during the war, which obviously he does. So Rodrik heard the story only in the last few years, and I personally view Josera and Elsera as being one year younger than him.
We'll just have to see.
I love reading your thoughts as always, and I can't wait to hear what you have to say for the last one. Cheers!
Well this chapter I can say without a doubt was the best one yet for both parts and that is saying something! For Asher I chose to fight for themselves! At this point in his story it seems he prefers to fight with just his small group rather than work for someone else. Plus I would think they would be a bit apprehensive about helping the second sons after the problems they have had with them!
Ah Rodrik's choice is again an insanely tough decision but I actually voted for him to abandon Robb. I am definitely second guessing that now but it does sound like Rodrik knows that King Robb is finished plus I feel like Rodrik's loyalty lies with House Forrester over all! I am hoping Haytham snuck out before The Rains of Castamere started though! But obviously knowing how the red wedding turns out for Rodrik I am hoping he can at least take solace in the fact he was able to kill Mortimer!
Gared fancies Rodrik so much and I am 100% on board.
Aaaaandddddd Part 20 (the final part) is here! And it's super long. Like stupidly long. It probably has loads of typos and other things of that nature... all of which I will now sit here and frantically worry about, like the paranoid neurotic I am.
Anyway, it's been great writing all of this, I've really enjoyed the whole experience and I hope you have, too.
And I look forward to hearing all of your thoughts. Thank you, and enjoy
Wow. Just wow. Forget what I said about the last part. This is undoubtedly and by far my favourite part in the entire story. The rest of the story was utterly amazing, but this finale was just that good. I don't even know where to begin, I got so much to say.. Perhaps I should start with Asher's part. Jesus, it's going to take a long while to express my opinion XD
Asher's part was epic. I'm sure it was the longest PoV in the entire story and it surely is my favourite from Asher's storyline. While I would have loved for them to join Dany, I have to admit that fighting for themselves felt more Asher-like in the end. The entire banter at the beginning, the entire first 4 pages, cracked me up. That was hilarious and the way you've been writing Arkara and Krendak all this time has been absolutely priceless to me, though they wouldn't have been that funny without Asher and Beskha. And then you effortlessly gave all of it a more sombre tone with Asher's reflection right before the Battle of Yunkai, which I liked a lot as well. Speaking about the Battle, that was exactly what I was missing in the show. Your fighting descriptions will never cease to amaze me and I feel they have been the finest in this entire part. Everything up to the fight with Nyx, especially the fight alongside Daario, Jorah and Grey Worm, was already stunning, but when Asher and Kara finally got to fight the champion, that has without any doubt been my favourite fight in the entire story. I knew Nyx was a beast, but I underestimated just how many hits she was actually able to take. The entire part, I was sure she'd actually end up killing Kara and she came close to do it more than once. Though I loved that Kara took the chance for some pretty gruesome vengeance. And hell, not even getting her face split in half was enough to take Nyx down. Now, it is no secret that I hated her with a passion. I read with glee how she took one wound after the other, each of them more serious than before, but even I have to admit, this was the definition of badass. I think that is the only good thing that can be said about Nyx. The aftermath of the battle, the ending to Asher's storyline was bittersweet. It is perhaps the happiest this actually could have ended for everyone. In fact, it was more than I dared to hope for Kara and Kren, who got their personal happy ending. I loved how Asher's storyline actually ended on a happy tone, with the siblings settling down for good and starting a new life, Asher and Kara ending their romance on very good terms, and him and Beskha going down the route that leads to the events of the game. Despite the bittersweet tone with Asher and Beskha saying goodbye to Arkara and Krendak, this was a hopeful and optimistic ending, which greatly helped to counterbalance the obvious bleakness of Rodrik's part.
Which leads me to Rodrik's part. There is no doubt that this is my favourite part from Rodrik's storyline as well and it is also by far the darkest part of the entire story. The other parts don't even come close to the Red Wedding. Naturally, this was to be expected, but still, it was even harder than I thought. It triggered my bad case of Red Wedding trauma and reminded me of the day I first read it in the books. Your version got me harder than the show version, because written stuff always gets me harder than just seeing it on a screen. And while Asher's final part, like Asher's whole story, always had a bit of hope despite all hardships, which I think certainly belongs into Game of Thrones just as well to keep it realistic, Rodrik's storyline, especially this part, embodied the bleakest and darkest moments GoT is known for and I applaud you for it. Like Asher, Rodrik got his own terrifying opponent in Mortimer, who was a beast not unlike Nyx, but entirely different at the same time. This was a nice similarity to Asher's storyline, with both of them getting one amazing final fight. The fights in Rodrik's parts were gritty and brutal and you did a great job portraying the hopelessness of this entire battle. Haytham's death was expected, but still, a small part of me remained hoping for him to escape. Though I guess, in the end it felt right to end Rodrik's storyline without even the slightest bit of happiness. For extra tragic points, I never saw it coming that Roose used Rodrik's sword to kill Robb. Gosh, I don't even want to imagine how Rodrik must feel after returning to Ironrath, knowing that he could have prevented the Red Wedding and that his own sword killed his king. And then Mortimer, who had definitely the most bloody death in the entire story. He probably felt literally no pain, but still, it was bloody, slightly disturbing, but also satisfying and well-deserved. Like Asher, you ended this storyline perfectly and its grim darkness formed a strong contrast to the bittersweet hopefulness of Asher's part.
Now, the polls at the very end. For my favourite character, I had to think for a while. It is never hard for me to name my favourites, though narrowing them down onto one character was almost impossible for me. In the end, I was torn between Axel, Arkara and Naomi. I feel Axel and Arkara had the strongest presence in their respective storylines and were the original characters who had the most influence on how the parts develop. Naomi meanwhile was one character whom I loved greatly and whom I would have loved to have around for longer. Arkara was priceless and I can only thank you for writing her that perfectly. Her constant snark with basically everyone, especially with Asher and Krendak, greatly enriched the story for me, as did her fling with Asher. Though ultimately, I settled for Axel as my favourite character. He had the most incredible transformation in the entire story, from a seemingly hopeless case of a bad guy, to someone who slowly started to redeem himself despite having done some truly terrible things. Then there were his talks to Rodrik and Haytham, about redemption and forgiveness, which were among my favourite moments in the story. In retrospect, I would have even rather voted to save him over Haytham, just because I enjoy his character so much.
The storyline I enjoyed the most was Asher's, simply because I had a personal involvement there. You managed to make me care for every character in some way, though obviously, Kara and Kren had a special place in my heart. I never expected them to live as long as they did or be as important as they were, so save to say, I was incredibly happy with Asher's storyline. Also, they were part of the reason I enjoyed the second half more than the first. Obviously, I have only started to follow the story when the first half was already over, so I felt more connected to the second half. I also think that this was were the story had its more emotional moments, as well as the harder choices. Not to say that the first half didn't have emotional moments as well, though the second one definitely had more in my opinion.
Ultimately, I rated this story as great. I don't know if it is the best fanfiction ever, because I haven't read every fanfiction ever, though I must say, it is a strong contender. There are many stories I enjoy in this forum and this was definitely one of the best. Your work, connecting what we know about the canonical events of the Forrester brothers with your own amazing ideas into one wonderful story is simply impressive. There's no other word for it. Jaw-droppingly impressive. I had a grin on my face when reading the question what you could have done better and seeing the option to have harder choices. Seriously, in no other story have I ever had to make choices that hard, continuously. Perhaps my own investment into Asher's story made it seem that way for me, but most of Rodrik's choices were similarly hard, especially towards the end. That said, there are two things I could think of that could have been better. First, more pages, which was also the option I took. This is simply because I have enjoyed this story so much that I would have greatly enjoyed more pages and a longer story in general. That said, the length felt fitting, though I think any other length would have been fitting as well with writing of such outstanding quality. Also, one thing I enjoy with these stories is the chance for original PoV's. In the premise of this story, sticking to the PoV's of Asher and Rodrik felt like the right decision, but at the same time reading things from the perspective of Axel, Haytham or Arkara would have been fun as well. Though that is no real criticism. Sticking to the premise of the story, the backstory of the Forrester brothers, the length and the two PoV's were a good decision, it's just something I enjoy in general.
The question as to what I like the most was also hard to answer, though I ultimately settled for the dialogue. Especially Asher's parts lived from the wonderful dialogue. There was Asher, whose sarcasm was delightful, especially when paired with the dry humour of Beskha, the sly wit of Naomi, the relative seriousness of Krendak and especially the sarcasm of Arkara, which was so similar to Asher's. Also, the interaction between these characters when they weren't talking to him, like the constant teasing between the siblings or the wonderful talks between Beskha and Naomi carried Asher's story greatly. Similarly, Rodrik had intense talks with Jaime Lannister and Roose Bolton and the memorable exchanges between Rodrik, Haytham and Axel.
Finally, the last question about your next work, which got me thinking. The two options I ruled out pretty quickly were 'Nothing' and 'A canon novelization of the game'. The first, because you are such a talented writer that I would love to see more. The second, because the canon novelization sounds less intriguing than a direct continuation of Two Brothers, with references to the events of this story. Two Sisters was something I would like, especially because Talia is my favourite non-PoV in the game, while Mira is, depending on the episode, my favourite PoV. However, I'm not sure how much material for a story as epic as Two Brothers there might be. After all, it always felt to me as if both sisters were at the beginnings of their respective journeys at the beginning of the game, especially in Talia's case, while the brothers obviously had strong potential for a backstory. The new story is something that intrigues me greatly, because you would obviously be much more free to take the story into any direction, while Two Brothers had a very defined ending from the very beginning. Ultimately though, this is up to you. So, you decide, DillonDex, you decide
Out of interest though, what would your idea for a whole new story be? Like, do you have a general idea what it would be about? That might influence my opinion on this final question.
And one question I grew curious about while writing this comment: Have you actually managed to include every submitted character? If I'm not forgetting anyone, there were six in Asher's part, with Naomi, Adryana, Lung Yao (I guess he is submitted?), Kara, Kren and Nyx and I counted five in Rodrik's, with Rickard, Philo, Haytham, Axel and Mortimer. Judging by the number of voters on each part, you definitely had more readers though, so that got me thinking.
There, I'm done! I wrote a damn novel for a comment, I hope you are happy now
In all seriousness, thank you for writing this wonderful story. It has been one hell of a ride and I enjoyed every second of reading it. Whatever you decide to write next, count me in as a reader!
Well, it was certainly the longest. But I hoped you would say that. Thanks! I tried to cover everything I could, this being the last part and all, and it even exceeded my own prediction of about 23-25 pages. Nope, it ended up being 32! I was just so determined on ending it on a high note, which hopefully and apparently, I did... so yay! I won't quote everything you said, instead I'll reply bit by bit (otherwise this post would stretch on forever :P)
Yes, Nyx is a beast and a badass! When I decided she wasn't going to kill Kren or Kara, I knew I had to showcase, in another way, how strong and brutal she is. So that was the answer - having her take ungodly amounts of damage, and keep fighting on. I did set up Kara to die on multiple occasions, though, to keep the suspense
but I always knew she was going to survive. I couldn't do that to you, after all this 
In regards to the Daario, Grey Worm and Jorah fight, it always slightly bothered me in the show, how it never really explained how they got out of that mess with the Yunkish guard. So I explained how! And I couldn't resist having all of those badasses fighting together, if just for a little bit.
In terms of the ending for Asher, bitter-sweet was what I was going for - so hearing you call it that, is very good to hear! But as you say, I did want to put an optimistic spin on it, since Rodrik's story would end so pessimistically. Which was unavoidable, really. I thought the balance worked well between their storylines... and it even allows you to head-canon, how Kren and Kara live their good life, once they arrive in Dorne! And I knew it was your favourite storyline, but I wouldn't have guessed about the dialogue (for the polls, I mean) I worked hard making the characters really shine in those moments, and hopefully be funny. So I'm happy you liked it all.
Regarding your favourite character, I share your love for Axel. He was great, and I missed writing him after he was gone.
I also thought the second half of the story, was superior to the first. I just knew more, by then, about what I was doing - and those parts tended to be longer, and more intricate. But that's just how I feel, and apparently you, as well. And as for your rating of "great" that's more than good enough for me! I also feel think original POV'S and more pages would have helped, in many capacities. It's something I'll think on for the future!
Now, onto Rodrik's storyline (I'm writing a novel here, as well, I think!) it was definitely his darkest chapter so far, as you felt... and I'm glad you thought it was his best, as well. It was certainly eventful and to me, it felt like a necessary come-down after Asher's somewhat upbeat ending. I mean, it wouldn't be "Game of Thrones" without some serious bleakness, right? :P I also see you noticed the similarities between Nyx and Mortimer - that was intentional, I wanted both Asher and Rodrik's storylines to mirror the other, in some ways, that being one of them. Plus, they both suffered some pretty brutal demises. And yes, halfway through writing the scene with Rodrik and Roose, I realized it would be wonderful sadism to have Bolton use his sword on Robb Stark. That was quite a wonderfully horrific addition, I think. I mean, managing to make the Red Wedding worse is quite a feat. It was sad saying goodbye to Haytham, but I knew there was no way he could realistically survive the Red Wedding... and he was never going to.
The new story would be a whole new story, set in Westeros, e.g. following a completely unique house with unique characters, in their own original storyline that may or may not tie into the universe at large. So, a bit like the game, in that sense.
I manage to submit almost all of them, at least by name, but I stopped submittance towards the end, as I realized I wasn't going to be able to include them all. I just didn't have enough pages or time, unfortunately.
but yes, Lung Yao was submitted!
I am happy now, I have been eagerly awaiting your comment, and I was not disappointed! I literally read obsessively over your words, when you reply... that sounds weird, but you get my point! I'm so happy you joined me on this little journey, and that you liked its conclusion. If I ever write anything on here again (which I very likely will) I look forward to our conversations, continuing! (Oh, and thanks for Kren and Kara, they were great!)
It's finally finished! Oh my god. We should throw a party to celebrate.
Everything was amazing and definitely not expected at all; save for the part where Gared finds Rodrik.
I know I've not commented about Asher as much as I have about Rodrik, but I have to admit that final fight scene in Yunkai with the Second Sons and the Unsullied had me on the edge of my seat. I loved the dialogue and the exchange between Beskha and Kren about Asher and Kara, I laughed. A shame we won't get to see them any longer but it is good that they're getting away from the old world of Slaver's Bay. Good luck to the both of them in Dorne.
And Rodrik's part, oh gosh. He tried so hard to get to Robb and then everything went uphill from there. The fight scene between him and Mortimer was great. He finally gets vengeance for everything that's happened. I'm glad that Mortimer suffered like he did. Roose was loose and I hated that he tried to use Rodrik's sword to kill Robb; in other words, your creepy Roose is good.
Now we all know what happens next game-wise but it would be good to see like a novelisation of the canon events of the game. I can imagine that the votes would be close. I am interested to know, if you do a novelisation of the game, how are you going to do the final choice between Rodrik and Asher? I mean, I'm gonna cry because having to choose between them was hard enough the first time but I know you're gonna do an amazing job either way.
I've already recommended this story to one of my friends and I know she's going to love this fanfiction just as much as I do. This is one long comment, wowe. Good luck with whatever step you take next in writing, and stop feeling bad about Adryana. I'm happy enough that she got to make an appearance and die as a BAMF by Asher's hand.
You should do a story before Asher was exiled. Then you could write about his affair with Gwyn. And the Rodrik part of the story could follow him and Eleana. I would love to read that and I think you have what it takes to write Asher and Rodrik's fellings and emotions with the the two Ladies. You could write out Asher and Rodrik's lives when they were barley out of their teen years. Or what ever you want, either way I'll read what you post. Thanks for the adventures.
Agreed! (Sorry for the long reply, I was asleep... but it's party time now!)
I'll miss them all, too.
still, they all lived to fight another day, so that's a pretty good result. And may they drink until they drop on some beach somewhere.
I did try! I know Roose wasn't in the story much, but he certainly made an impact in the short time that he was. And yes, Mortimer Warrick finally got what he deserved
Well thank you for that, and yes I would very likely do a poll for that choice (and many others) were that option to win-out on the polls.
Well, thank you again, both for the comment, and getting me another reader! I still hope more people come and read it, even though it's over. And I'll try my best to stop feeling bad about Adryana, in fact I'll make a promise here and now, should I make another story - whatever character you submit, will get a massive role in the story! So yes, that's it! I'm so glad you liked it, and decided to comment, I really do appreciate it, and hopefully we can do this all again, sometime in the future.
Interesting premise! Following them at Ironrath, and the like, but I'm not sure I fancy the idea of doing a prequel-prequel :P I'll think on it, though, I promise!
And thank you for that, as well as reading and commenting. Everyone who read and voted, were the reason's I kept going until the end, and why I likely will do another. It's been great for me, too, and certainly an adventure.
Ugh... I had such a long comment and the page fucked up. ARGH! XD
A bit sad it's over,I loved this story. I found Rodrik's slow and boring at first but It grew incredibly exciting as the story continued. I loved Asher's from the very beginning.
Favourite story was Rodrik's. It had more interesting relationships and rivalrys.
I want to say Naomi was my favourite oc but I made her so I'll say Kara. I loved her banter with the other characters and her simple humor as well as her 'fuck you!' attitude.
I voted the story as great. It was awesome but I wouldn't say the best ever.
I liked the banter and relationships most and the Gwyn references never failed to make me smile.
For what to do next I think you should do what you want to do. However there is an idea I have that I'd like to send your way via pm later. I promise not to be offended if you don't like it.
I hate it when that happens :S I once wrote a whole novel-sized post in the general chat about something or other, then accidently clicked off the page... rip. I mean I'm over it now, but there isn't a day that goes by, where I haven't thought about it.
Fair enough. I'm sad it's over, as well.
but as I've said, I'm open to doing something else, eventually. And I'm excited to hear about this idea of yours!
WHAT!? Haha, nah, that's perfectly fine with me. I'll take "great" very happily. Though whoever it was who voted "best ever," is my new bestie. And a good samaritan, to boot. Anyway, I thought you'd vote for Naomi - but Kara is certainly a great choice, as well! Axel is actually leading at the moment, which is a massive (but very pleasant) surprise.
Haha, well, I look forward to hearing it. You've been with me here since the beginning, so thank you for that. It's been great.
Now that the story's over I want to talk about Naomi and confess that I'm disappointed with how she was handled.
First I want to say I loved how you wrote her, she was exactly how I imagined. She was sly, mischevous, flirtatious, loved using nicknames, and true to her character betrayed Asher and Beskha very early on. And I loved her mini-rivalry with Beskha, it made sense and fit so well.
My disappointment is mainly with her death. I didn't want to say anything when it happened but I didn't like it. I'm not disappointed because she died. I thought she might because of her issue with betraying the people she ends up with regardless of how much she cares about them. I feared that she would die in either an attempt at betrayal or a moment of redemption. It felt too soon and seemed to lack purpose. It felt like she died for cheap feels and just because someone had to die because it's game of thrones and you were a few chapters in without a major character death. When we had our pm discussion about Naomi and you mentioned how much you liked her and at the time was your favourite, I won't lie it boosted my ego and expectectations up quite a bit. I expected some real epic moments and emotional dialogue but I can't help but feel that didn't happen. I spent a lot of time and effort into writing her but I did like her up until that death so it wasn't completely wasted.
I am obviously biased but I can't help but feel this way. Hopefully I didn't come across as too harsh and you don't take this too personally.
Hey, I appreciate your honesty. I wouldn't want you to lie about it, so it's cool. Regarding her death, it served the purpose of propelling Asher's story in its new direction (to Slaver's Bay, with Kren and Kara) and because, people die. Sometimes, a bit like heroes (e.g. Axel's) and other times, they just, well, die (Haytham, Naomi, and others like Adryana, Lung Yao, who were submitted, and only got one chapter!) Though to be fair, Naomi did die a hero, really. Anyway, it's not so much me trying to be edgy or trying to live up to the Game of Thrones philosophy... it's just the harsh reality of things, I guess. Especially in the choice that got chosen - Asher, Beskha and Naomi going up against the entire force of the Second Sons. Obviously, Asher couldn't die, Beskha neither, so it had to be her. Any other magical way out would have been cheap, I felt, so while I get where you're coming from about being disappointed, and feeling it was too soon - I don't think it lacked purpose, her death.
The whole idea was that it was purposely unfinished, in a sense. It's the same sort of thing with Robb Stark - it's so tragic, because his role was so undone. He was meant to capture Casterly Rock, take Joffrey's head etc, etc, but it never happened. He just, died. And it sucks. As was the case with Naomi. But I'll grant everyone the criticism, I handled the submitted characters poorly. I just never found the time to fit them all in, and there's many, many more characters that got done over far worse than Naomi did. :P just ask @RamsaysPlotArmour
But honestly, I did love Naomi, and was sad to see her go. Do I regret her death? A bit. I should have held off, for another few parts, but what's done is done... and I am sorry. If it helps, I'll make you the same promise I made RamsaysPlotArmour - that in my next story, should you read it, which I hope you will, whatever character you submit, will get a full, major role. No bullshit. I won't make the same mistakes again, regarding submitted characters. So yeah, I get where you're coming from, hopefully you get where I'm coming from, too.
Yeah I understand. And I probably wouldn't feel this way if I didn't create her. You did really well with her though, don't forget that.
And you don't have to make my character major because I was disappointed. You should make someone major because that's where they belong. I think you should what YOU think is best for the story not what readers might think.
Of course, but none of this would be possible (or very satisfying) unless people like you, and others, read, and voted and commented...
As such, I owe you, at least a bit. Especially when you spend so much time, effort and energy coming up with these great characters.
And more importantly, I want to give these characters the spotlight. It keeps things fresh for everyone. I just didn't quite manage it this time. But I will next time. And that's just what the promise is, really.
Edit: oh, and stop leaving me in suspense, I want to hear what this idea is! :P
But suspense is great.