The only thing anyone else bought for me at that con was Cody fronting the cash for the donuts even though he barely had the means to do so!
Look. While you and I can both agree that Cody single-handedly redefines generosity, I say that you are a liar. Either that, or your memory is made of terrible.
No, it's your self-serving, self-centered greed that makes you selfish!
You're remembering the convention entirely wrong, though. See, after a night of partying in the five star suite I shared with the woman I was totally still dating at the time, I was driven into the convention area in the tankosine (a sort of armoured limousine), that was pulled by a team of twenty scantily clad sword maidens.
I must have been awe inspiring to see me emerge from the pure white vehicle in which I was conveyed as you wallowed in the mud with the hobos by the sidewalk. I brushed the shoulders of my $2000 parade uniform, ruffled my pimping cape and nodded in approval as the cosplayers all bowed to my obvious greatness.
It was then that Edward James Olmos arrived in his horse-drawn chariot. He implored me to join him in a Sacred Struggle to cleanse the convention of the Twilight fans who had invaded the convention in the previous year. Naturally, I acquiesced to his offer.
Then I found you, my dear friend from High School, swapping stories and diseases with the homeless. I took pity on you and sent five of my finest sword maidens to bring you a case of Ramune. Remember now, buddy?
I would be eternally grateful, yes. I can compensate via PayPal, because that's how I roll.
Bah. At least let me pay for the stuff inside the package. Call it a late Christmas gift by the time it gets to you. What flavors do you want, or do you want me to surprise you (seriously, do you want that kind of surprise- I'm not sure)? I can send you some candy too, so long as it isn't chocolate. That'll take a beating in the mail. Japanese caramels are really quite good, and you can't buy them in the US.
On Pocky- it's good and all, but "Koala March" and those green-tea powder filled "Melty Kiss" candies kicks its but five ways to Sunday.
Also, I happen to like ramune. It has half the sugar or regular soda, so it tastes a bit lighter. But it's expensive. A can of chuhai (fruit cider with 2-5% alcohol) is usually half the price. There' a mandarin orange flavor that Kirin sells in winter that tastes like spiked Orangina. In other words, amazing.
BTW, Japanese pizza is made of suck. I haven't had pizza since I've arrived- I ate it once when I lived in Kobe as a college freshman four years ago and do NOT want to revisit the experience. The Japanese girls were all like 'this place has awesome pizza!' and then it was corn and mayo. CORN and MAYO. BLEARGHHH.
Bah. At least let me pay for the stuff inside the package. Call it a late Christmas gift by the time it gets to you. What flavors do you want, or do you want me to surprise you (seriously, do you want that kind of surprise- I'm not sure)? I can send you some candy too, so long as it isn't chocolate. That'll take a beating in the mail. Japanese caramels are really quite good, and you can't buy them in the US.
If you insist on being so generous, it will simply make me want to compensate you more. How about halfsies?
As for flavors, I reaaaaaally like the Watermelon flavor. Also, Orange, Melon, Bubblegum and Cherry. Watermelon is the best, though. As for candy, surprise me. I now should totally gift you something, though. Name something in the US that you can't get in Japan and I will acquire it and ship it.
You're remembering the convention entirely wrong, though.
Okay, see, here's the problem. Your story doesn't check out. I can't let these blatant lies go unchallenged.
See, after a night of partying in the five star suite I shared with the woman I was totally still dating at the time
Ahem? Woman?
I distinctly remember several women.
I was driven into the convention area in the tankosine (a sort of armoured limousine), that was pulled by a team of twenty scantily clad sword maidens.
Please. They were trained in melee, sure, but firearms were their main focus.
I must have been
awe inspiring to see me emerge from the pure white vehicle in which I was conveyed as you wallowed in the mud with the hobos by the sidewalk. I brushed the shoulders of my $2000 parade uniform, ruffled my pimping cape and nodded in approval as the cosplayers all bowed to my obvious greatness.
Excuse me, but the market value on your parade uniform well exceeds $2000. You're obviously rounding down.
It was then that Edward James Olmos arrived in his horse-drawn chariot. He implored me to join him in a Sacred Struggle to cleanse the convention of the Twilight fans who had invaded the convention in the previous year. Naturally, I acquiesced to his offer.
Please. The chariot was drawn by griffins. Like so.
Then I found you, my dear friend from High School, swapping stories and diseases with the homeless. I took pity on you and sent five of my finest sword maidens to bring you a case of Ramune.
That's bullshit. YOU NEVER BOUGHT ME RAMUNE.
Remember now, buddy?
Yeah, I remember that you're a SHAMELESS LIAR and FABRICATOR OF FICTITIOUS INCIDENTS.
I can remember more of the con, if need be.
MAYBE YOU SHOULD. In particular, the parts that are FACTUAL would be nice.
If you insist on being so generous, it will simply make me want to compensate you more. How about halfsies?
As for flavors, I reaaaaaally like the Watermelon flavor. Also, Orange, Melon, Bubblegum and Cherry. Watermelon is the best, though. As for candy, surprise me. I now should totally gift you something, though. Name something in the US that you can't get in Japan and I will acquire it and ship it.
Looks at flavor options. Checks back a page in the thread.
Oh. RAMUNE. I thought you said ramen. Ramune's in glass- I can't ship it. But I'll still send you some sweets.
That's right! After having you cleaned and re-attired, you were given permission to sample fine vintage port wines in my private gallery! I remember now! You chased after several of them after I bestowed my blessings upon the venture. Man, was I shitfaced.
Please. They were trained in melee, sure, but firearms were their main focus.
Of course, how could I be so stupid? This is the South, after all; and I'm me. They were all provided with the finest in gold plated Kalashnikovs, practicality be damned!
MAYBE YOU SHOULD. In particular, the parts that are FACTUAL would be nice.
Look, let me start on the first day you were there: Saturday. I was at the head of the Futurama panel as they discussed how they wished I could join the cast on a permanent basis instead of just doing my Richard Nixon impression. The room erupted in unison crying when I announced that Billy West would be taking my role for his insolence. It looked like this.
I arose from my lightning throne and left the room, angrily. There were few survivors. It was then that you approached me, thanking me for the Ramune. I named you my new subcommandante, filling you with a joy unknowable by most. You had achieved apotheosis. You were living the dream. I gave you an eyepatch and a fancy uniform.
"Now is the time, El Sup!" I said, readying my Gun Babes. "We must fight the Twitards!" Instantly, the main concourse of the Sheraton erupted in storm. Our position was charged. The gun maidens valiantly held their position for as long as they could, but their numbers were thinning. Back to back, we faced the hordes - you with your NES Zapper and I with my Mjolnir Hammer equipped AK. Just as darkness was upon us, Olmos appeared in a radiant beam of light. "Come with me if you want to live!" Adama beseeched us. As I climbed into the chariot, I looked back to see you - my old friend - waving.
"I think I'll see how the other half lives." You said. I tearfully begged you not to let them take you, but it was too late. They were upon you.
As the chariot flew through the air, I was beside myself. I asked Olmos "Captain, how do you live with the loss?" I begged the answer, knowing that he had lost a ship, once, and with it his entire civilization. Also he was a Blade Runner. He turned to me, a wisened look in his good eye. "Son, you don't live with it. You endure."
I then returned to my suite for a night of debauched drinking and... other activities. It's all in my pamphlet.
Oh, your recollection of EVENTS is fairly accurate, if somewhat toned down, except for one detail:
YOU NEVER BOUGHT ME RAMUNE YOU DIRTY, FILTHY LIAR.
DAY 3 OF CON, SUNDAY. 1300 HOURS.
The convention ground was now in a state of unity. The Twitards had been driven out, but so too had the Colonials. (Except me, because I have the respect and admiration of my enemies.) It was then that I found you, planting trees near where Edward Cullen's face melted in awe of my astounding command of the powers of levitation.
As you planted, a Number Six Cylon (seen in the above provided picture) suggested that you pause for a break. You protested. "I have only one last Ramune, provided by my good friend; The Undying Warlord, Comrade Pants." Regardless, being the turncoat you are, you stopped for a break and enjoyed your Ramune, only pausing three times to offer prayers and burn incense at a shrine of my likeness.
It was then that I knew I had to leave. I had to leave the convention before Monday (also known as Notreallyaconday) and never return... until next year. With a vengence.
Aha, I've ALREADY caught you in your own web of lies! DAYS ONLY HAVE 24 HOURS IN THEM.
The convention ground was now in a state of unity. The Twitards had been driven out, but so too had the Colonials. (Except me, because I have the respect and admiration of my enemies.) It was then that I found you, planting trees near where Edward Cullen's face melted in awe of my astounding command of the powers of levitation.
Please. I *never* plant trees.
As you planted, a Number Six Cylon (seen in the above provided picture) suggested that you pause for a break. You protested. "I have only one last Ramune, provided by my good friend; The Undying Warlord, Comrade Pants." Regardless, being the turncoat you are, you stopped for a break and enjoyed your Ramune, only pausing three times to offer prayers and burn incense at a shrine of my likeness.
As I told you, YOU NEVER GAVE ME RAMUNE. Therefore, I could NOT enjoy my Ramune, because I NEVER HAD ANY. You're probably thinking of the Ramune that YOU drank IN FRONT OF ME while BRAGGING ABOUT YOUR SUPERIOR TASTES before I offered my prayers.
It was then that I knew I had to leave. I had to leave the convention before Monday (also known as Notreallyaconday) and never return... until next year. With a vengence.
You totally made it on Monday, you liar. It was SATURDAY that you missed.
As I told you, YOU NEVER GAVE ME RAMUNE. Therefore, I could NOT enjoy my Ramune, because I NEVER HAD ANY. You're probably thinking of the Ramune that YOU drank IN FRONT OF ME while BRAGGING ABOUT YOUR SUPERIOR TASTES before I offered my prayers.
You totally made it on Monday, you liar. It was SATURDAY that you missed.
Ah, you're right. That was when I spent the day cavorting with Armin Shimmerman, Cody and Edward James Olmos, discussing how to divide up Europe after defeating the Nazis. Good times.
They'll probably do what all male Southerners over yonder do for fun. Dress up in white robes and chase African-Americans and Jews with pikes while Yakety Sax plays.
Has anyone else realized that this thread has made it to over 300 pages? This is ridiculous.
Also: they sell real German pickles in the grocery store near my dorm. I can make a chicken reuben! A real one! With rye bread and everything!
Also, also, since you guys aired out your dirty laundry involving cosplay, I'll show you one of mine. Granted, it was for work (I worked for an online streaming J-Pop station for two years as a personality and translator, and all-around packmule), but still~
Well now I realize I knew what ramune is. A friend of mine had some one day at school. I wanted the marble, I'm weird like that.
She got it at Youmacon, which I really wanted to go to. At one point she was just trying to annoy the hell out of me.
EDIT: are you next to Ulquiora(I stopped caring about the spelling around a year ago)?
I apologize in advanced for any idiocy in the preceding question.
Comments
Indian. What now?
lies
It's a matter of preference, to be fair. I just prefer the thickness in Japanese curry.
And to even it out, Japanese pizza doesn't look very... appetizing.
Fair enough on both counts.
Look. While you and I can both agree that Cody single-handedly redefines generosity, I say that you are a liar. Either that, or your memory is made of terrible.
No, I'm not. You bought it for yourself, bragged about how cool the marble thing was, and then drank it like an elitist douche!
Just because I *am* an elitist douche, that doesn't mean I'm selfish!
You're remembering the convention entirely wrong, though. See, after a night of partying in the five star suite I shared with the woman I was totally still dating at the time, I was driven into the convention area in the tankosine (a sort of armoured limousine), that was pulled by a team of twenty scantily clad sword maidens.
I must have been awe inspiring to see me emerge from the pure white vehicle in which I was conveyed as you wallowed in the mud with the hobos by the sidewalk. I brushed the shoulders of my $2000 parade uniform, ruffled my pimping cape and nodded in approval as the cosplayers all bowed to my obvious greatness.
It was then that Edward James Olmos arrived in his horse-drawn chariot. He implored me to join him in a Sacred Struggle to cleanse the convention of the Twilight fans who had invaded the convention in the previous year. Naturally, I acquiesced to his offer.
Then I found you, my dear friend from High School, swapping stories and diseases with the homeless. I took pity on you and sent five of my finest sword maidens to bring you a case of Ramune. Remember now, buddy?
I can remember more of the con, if need be.
Bah. At least let me pay for the stuff inside the package. Call it a late Christmas gift by the time it gets to you. What flavors do you want, or do you want me to surprise you (seriously, do you want that kind of surprise- I'm not sure)? I can send you some candy too, so long as it isn't chocolate. That'll take a beating in the mail. Japanese caramels are really quite good, and you can't buy them in the US.
On Pocky- it's good and all, but "Koala March" and those green-tea powder filled "Melty Kiss" candies kicks its but five ways to Sunday.
Also, I happen to like ramune. It has half the sugar or regular soda, so it tastes a bit lighter. But it's expensive. A can of chuhai (fruit cider with 2-5% alcohol) is usually half the price. There' a mandarin orange flavor that Kirin sells in winter that tastes like spiked Orangina. In other words, amazing.
BTW, Japanese pizza is made of suck. I haven't had pizza since I've arrived- I ate it once when I lived in Kobe as a college freshman four years ago and do NOT want to revisit the experience. The Japanese girls were all like 'this place has awesome pizza!' and then it was corn and mayo. CORN and MAYO. BLEARGHHH.
If you insist on being so generous, it will simply make me want to compensate you more. How about halfsies?
As for flavors, I reaaaaaally like the Watermelon flavor. Also, Orange, Melon, Bubblegum and Cherry. Watermelon is the best, though. As for candy, surprise me. I now should totally gift you something, though. Name something in the US that you can't get in Japan and I will acquire it and ship it.
For the love of all that is good and holy, please no.
Ahem? Woman?
I distinctly remember several women.
Please. They were trained in melee, sure, but firearms were their main focus.
Excuse me, but the market value on your parade uniform well exceeds $2000. You're obviously rounding down.
Please. The chariot was drawn by griffins. Like so.
That's bullshit. YOU NEVER BOUGHT ME RAMUNE.
Yeah, I remember that you're a SHAMELESS LIAR and FABRICATOR OF FICTITIOUS INCIDENTS.
MAYBE YOU SHOULD. In particular, the parts that are FACTUAL would be nice.
Looks at flavor options. Checks back a page in the thread.
Oh. RAMUNE. I thought you said ramen. Ramune's in glass- I can't ship it. But I'll still send you some sweets.
Of course, how could I be so stupid? This is the South, after all; and I'm me. They were all provided with the finest in gold plated Kalashnikovs, practicality be damned! Look, I wasn't wearing my formal uniform. It was this one:
Lies, here you are repaying me for my generosity... BY BEING A CYLON.
Look, let me start on the first day you were there: Saturday. I was at the head of the Futurama panel as they discussed how they wished I could join the cast on a permanent basis instead of just doing my Richard Nixon impression. The room erupted in unison crying when I announced that Billy West would be taking my role for his insolence. It looked like this.
I arose from my lightning throne and left the room, angrily. There were few survivors. It was then that you approached me, thanking me for the Ramune. I named you my new subcommandante, filling you with a joy unknowable by most. You had achieved apotheosis. You were living the dream. I gave you an eyepatch and a fancy uniform.
"Now is the time, El Sup!" I said, readying my Gun Babes. "We must fight the Twitards!" Instantly, the main concourse of the Sheraton erupted in storm. Our position was charged. The gun maidens valiantly held their position for as long as they could, but their numbers were thinning. Back to back, we faced the hordes - you with your NES Zapper and I with my Mjolnir Hammer equipped AK. Just as darkness was upon us, Olmos appeared in a radiant beam of light. "Come with me if you want to live!" Adama beseeched us. As I climbed into the chariot, I looked back to see you - my old friend - waving.
"I think I'll see how the other half lives." You said. I tearfully begged you not to let them take you, but it was too late. They were upon you.
As the chariot flew through the air, I was beside myself. I asked Olmos "Captain, how do you live with the loss?" I begged the answer, knowing that he had lost a ship, once, and with it his entire civilization. Also he was a Blade Runner. He turned to me, a wisened look in his good eye. "Son, you don't live with it. You endure."
I then returned to my suite for a night of debauched drinking and... other activities. It's all in my pamphlet.
If you didn't disagree with the first one, you cannot disagree with this one. It's the law.
Ah, well, excellent still.
YOU NEVER BOUGHT ME RAMUNE YOU DIRTY, FILTHY LIAR.
DAY 3 OF CON, SUNDAY. 1300 HOURS.
The convention ground was now in a state of unity. The Twitards had been driven out, but so too had the Colonials. (Except me, because I have the respect and admiration of my enemies.) It was then that I found you, planting trees near where Edward Cullen's face melted in awe of my astounding command of the powers of levitation.
As you planted, a Number Six Cylon (seen in the above provided picture) suggested that you pause for a break. You protested. "I have only one last Ramune, provided by my good friend; The Undying Warlord, Comrade Pants." Regardless, being the turncoat you are, you stopped for a break and enjoyed your Ramune, only pausing three times to offer prayers and burn incense at a shrine of my likeness.
It was then that I knew I had to leave. I had to leave the convention before Monday (also known as Notreallyaconday) and never return... until next year. With a vengence.
Gentlemen? Can we please stop the mud-slingng? Or al the very least, do it shirtless with actual mud. Thanks.
You will STFU right now and let them kill each other, you meddling bastard.
Please. I *never* plant trees.
As I told you, YOU NEVER GAVE ME RAMUNE. Therefore, I could NOT enjoy my Ramune, because I NEVER HAD ANY. You're probably thinking of the Ramune that YOU drank IN FRONT OF ME while BRAGGING ABOUT YOUR SUPERIOR TASTES before I offered my prayers.
You totally made it on Monday, you liar. It was SATURDAY that you missed.
Believe me, no one wants to see that. Except for, like, women. Oh yes.
We're *trying*!
Explain this, then:
Ah, you're right. That was when I spent the day cavorting with Armin Shimmerman, Cody and Edward James Olmos, discussing how to divide up Europe after defeating the Nazis. Good times.
Cylon.
I do highly doubt it. You didn't use quotation marks. Also, I'm Comrade Pants!
jks
why does rd have tits
Rule of Funny, probably.
Ps. HOLY SHIT A MASSIVE BIRD CARRYING A SOMEWHAT SMALLER BIRD JUST FLEW PAST MY WINDOW
Also: they sell real German pickles in the grocery store near my dorm. I can make a chicken reuben! A real one! With rye bread and everything!
Also, also, since you guys aired out your dirty laundry involving cosplay, I'll show you one of mine. Granted, it was for work (I worked for an online streaming J-Pop station for two years as a personality and translator, and all-around packmule), but still~
She got it at Youmacon, which I really wanted to go to. At one point she was just trying to annoy the hell out of me.
EDIT: are you next to Ulquiora(I stopped caring about the spelling around a year ago)?
I apologize in advanced for any idiocy in the preceding question.