I'm going to create my own Jurassic park

245

Comments

  • edited April 2011
    This shouldn't even be a question. I thought that when everyone signed on, they were aware that this act against God would reside on an island.

    No no no... The last time someone did this on an island, it failed horribly! The clear solution is mainland New England. I suggest the old abandoned Rocky Point Park in Rhode Island (which is not actually an island, by the way). I think some of the old ticket booths haven't burnt down yet.
  • edited April 2011
    trocks wrote: »
    No no no... The last time someone did this on an island, it failed horribly! The clear solution is mainland New England. I suggest the old abandoned Rocky Point Park in Rhode Island (which is not actually an island, by the way). I think some of the old ticket booths haven't burnt down yet.

    But if our park is on an island, we can charge extra for the transportation to and from. If we have living and breathing dinosaurs on our island, people will pay the extra fee. In addition, if we choose an island, we don't have to worry about any property damages in neighbouring areas. I'm not saying that there will be but it doesn't hurt to make some precautions. Funding is absolutely necessary when completing a project of this magnitude.

    We need funding if we plan to expand our park's features and the extra revenue will come in handy. Obviously we will have to add a few extra safety features to ensure our park does not follow a path of destruction and terror like the orginal Jurassic Park did but safety does come first.
    asyncus wrote: »
    Great list mr McFly. I just wonder. Who is flying the heli's? And I was thinking of getting some Venture Capitalists- the kind of ones that when things starting to heat up, always wanting to visit out-door toilets. I kind of like those.

    Mr. McFly, you pick the island. Ive got my basement. Im satisfied.

    I like the way you think.
    RaptorsRwk wrote: »
    As the head over qualified paleontologist i am going to need a giant trailer,a hat,flannel shirt,a raptor claw, assistant head over qualified paleontologist,and a gun(because everybody knows that when the sh!t hits the fan paleontologists know exactly what to do)

    Done. Since I'm not in charge of financials, contact the thread's creator for all the billing and your employment needs.
  • edited April 2011
    Our staff list now consists of:

    -Bulgarian scientists
    -A supervisor for the hatchery
    -A voice over/tour guide
    -A Site B owner
    -DNA Splicer
    -A kid with a jeep
    -A math nerd
    -One park warden without credentials
    -An overqualified paleontologist
    -Someone who is able to install locking mechanisms into the jeeps jeep
    -An architect
    -A student training to become an automation/electrotechnology engineer
    -Shaving cream can inspector

    What can possibly go wrong?

    can i be the janitor?
  • edited April 2011
    hamza721 wrote: »
    can i be the janitor?

    That depends.

    Are you going to be one of those janitors that end up dancing in the halls and regularly sparking arguments with fire extinguishers?

    Or one of those quirky janitors that say little but contribute to the overall state of the park?
  • edited April 2011
    Our staff list now consists of:

    -Bulgarian scientists
    -A supervisor for the hatchery
    -A voice over/tour guide
    -A Site B owner
    -DNA Splicer
    -A kid with a jeep
    -A math nerd
    -One park warden without credentials
    -An overqualified paleontologist
    -Someone who is able to install locking mechanisms into the jeeps jeep
    -An architect
    -A student training to become an automation/electrotechnology engineer
    -Shaving cream can inspector

    What can possibly go wrong?


    Well I am sorry to say that my park is already complete, and is opening next year. We dont need all of those people btw because our park was designed to be able to run off of minimal staff by our computer dude... so HA!
  • edited April 2011
    RexMaster wrote: »
    Well I am sorry to say that my park is already complete, and is opening next year. We dont need all of those people btw because our park was designed to be able to run off of minimal staff by our computer dude... so HA!

    Ah, so you've chosen to have your park run with technology and one human computer expert as opposed to different humans of varying skills working collectively as one.

    m.jpg

    Sounds like a flawless plan. Best of luck on your new venture.
  • edited April 2011
    That depends.

    Are you going to be one of those janitors that end up dancing in the halls and regularly sparking arguments with fire extinguishers?

    Or one of those quirky janitors that say little but contribute to the overall state of the park?

    The janitor that steals all the embryos when he is alone
  • edited April 2011
    hamza721 wrote: »
    The janitor that steals all the embryos when he is alone

    ...

    ...

    ...

    You're hired.
  • edited April 2011
    Great now all i ask is that i have full acess to the park and its systems as well as the dinos so i can...er study them also because i do not trust computers (call me old fashion)
  • edited April 2011
    I'm done with the analysis of success rate for the park and tendencies for audience reception. Statistics say this park has a 3.1415926535 8979323846 2643383279 5028841971 6939937510 5820974944 5923078164 0628620899 8628034825 3421170679 8214808651 3282306647 0938446095 5058223172 5359408128 4811174502 8410270193 8521105559 6446229489 5493038196 4428810975 6659334461 2847564823 3786783165 2712019091 4564856692 3460348610 4543266482 1339360726 0249141273 7245870066 0631558817 4881520920 9628292540 9171536436 7892590360 0113305305 4882046652 1384146951 9415116094 3305727036 5759591953 0921861173 8193261179 3105118548 0744623799 6274956735 1885752724 8912279381 chance of being destroyed by an unfortunate case of bad timing every time you have dinosaurs in your park.


    But 100% satisfaction guaranteed to work otherwise. Only ratings will blow.
  • edited April 2011
    Bombillazo wrote: »
    I'm done with the analysis of success rate for the park and tendencies for audience reception. Statistics say this park has a 3.1415926535 8979323846 2643383279 5028841971 6939937510 5820974944 5923078164 0628620899 8628034825 3421170679 8214808651 3282306647 0938446095 5058223172 5359408128 4811174502 8410270193 8521105559 6446229489 5493038196 4428810975 6659334461 2847564823 3786783165 2712019091 4564856692 3460348610 4543266482 1339360726 0249141273 7245870066 0631558817 4881520920 9628292540 9171536436 7892590360 0113305305 4882046652 1384146951 9415116094 3305727036 5759591953 0921861173 8193261179 3105118548 0744623799 6274956735 1885752724 8912279381 chance of being destroyed by an unfortunate case of bad timing every time you have dinosaurs in your park.


    But 100% satisfaction guaranteed to work otherwise. Only ratings will blow.

    Being the mathematician that I am, I have to ask how you came to the conclusion that Pi would be the best representation of our failure rate.
  • edited April 2011
    I'd also like to be head of public relations.
  • edited April 2011
    Public relations? In that case, all I want you to do is answer the question listed below to the best of your ability.

    Why are manhole covers round?
  • edited April 2011
    I'm gonna create my own park! With blackjack and hookers! In fact, forget the park!
  • edited April 2011
    I'm gonna create my own park! With blackjack and hookers! In fact, forget the park!

    You're a man with ambition and simple tastes; I respect that.
  • edited April 2011
    FPug wrote: »
    I'd also like to be head of public relations.

    If he's going to be head of public relations i wanna be the poster boy for jurassic park. Nothing says come to our park like a poster of a paleontologist holding a shotgun.
  • edited April 2011
    A park would be nice enough, but in my opinion the ultimate goal should be managing to successfully transplant human brains into T-Rex bodies.

    Something that would obviously make the world a more perfect place... evolution managed to come up with much cooler looking bodies way back then, before those meteors or whatever it was put an end to that... which gave rise to much better intelligence, but trapped within much more lame bodies.

    So we should combine the best of both, keeping our intelligence intact while changing from our crappy human bodies into awesome gigantic T-Rex ones.

    Potential naysayers should simply be eaten by the new, superior T-Rex people.
  • edited April 2011
    ...

    ...

    ...

    You're hired.

    woot!
  • edited April 2011
    Ah, so you've chosen to have your park run with technology and one human computer expert as opposed to different humans of varying skills working collectively as one.

    m.jpg

    Sounds like a flawless plan. Best of luck on your new venture.



    I love this guy! There is nothing more to it!
  • edited April 2011
    You are going to need somebody to feed the dinosaurs...plenty of cows and donkeys are required. I will be in charge of that.
  • edited April 2011
    RexMaster wrote: »
    I love this guy! There is nothing more to it!

    Why thank you. I appreciate your support and know that I love you too, anonymous computer user under the alias 'RexMaster'.
  • edited April 2011
    Why are manhole covers round?

    That question can be answered with another question...Why aren't they rectanguler?:cool:
  • edited April 2011
    FPug wrote: »
    That question can be answered with another question...Why aren't they rectanguler?:cool:

    A round manhole cover cannot fall through its circular opening, whereas a square manhole cover may fall in if it were inserted diagonally in the hole.

    I do like your approach to the question though. We need people like you in public relations.

    Without consideration to the thread owner's personal opinion, I hereby offer you employment.
  • edited April 2011
    A round manhole cover cannot fall through its circular opening, whereas a square manhole cover may fall in if it were inserted diagonally in the hole.

    I do like your approach to the question though. We need people like you in public relations.

    Without consideration to the thread owner's personal opinion, I hereby offer you employment.

    HECK YES!!!! I won't let you down!:D
  • edited April 2011
    Being the mathematician that I am, I have to ask how you came to the conclusion that Pi would be the best representation of our failure rate.

    Euler's Identity
  • edited April 2011
    Bombillazo wrote: »
    Euler's Identity

    Nice to see another mathematician roaming the forums.
  • edited April 2011
    I call game warden if no one hasn't yet! Oh... I have credentials... eh screw it, I'll be the head of the department of Holding onto one's posterior!
  • edited April 2011
    I call game warden if no one hasn't yet! Oh... I have credentials... eh screw it, I'll be the head of the department of Holding onto one's posterior!

    Someone has been hired for park warden (protection of natural, cultural and historic resources) but if you have credentials, I say you're now in charge of the park's wildlife. Oh, I'll throw in the other position you wanted too.

    In fact, I'll fuse the positions together.

    Welcome to the team, Head of Holding Onto One's Game Warden.
  • edited April 2011
    Our staff list now consists of:

    -Bulgarian scientists
    -A supervisor for the hatchery
    -A voice over/tour guide
    -A Site B owner
    -DNA Splicer
    -A kid with a jeep
    -A math nerd
    -One park warden without credentials
    -An overqualified paleontologist
    -Someone who is able to install locking mechanisms into the jeeps jeep
    -An architect
    -A student training to become an automation/electrotechnology engineer
    -Shaving cream can inspector

    What can possibly go wrong?


    Hold on we have all the heavy hitters so far but whos going to supply the cheap labor? We need tired, low payed, overworked, demoralized, broken spirited people to actually build the park.
  • edited April 2011
    RaptorsRwk wrote: »
    Hold on we have all the heavy hitters so far but whos going to supply the cheap labor? We need tired, low payed, overworked, demoralized, broken spirited people to actually build the park.

    I know but where are we going to find such a large group of philosophy majors? *dodges tomatoes*
  • edited April 2011
    I know but where are we going to find such a large group of philosophy majors? *dodges tomatoes*


    At home with their mothers asking the all important question "Why?.....Did i not choose a different major?" *drums then cricket*
  • edited April 2011
    The bulgarian scientists has went out on a strike Im afraid. I accidently miscalculated the amount of the cigarettes they usually get as their monthly payment. My fault. Im getting a new shipment tomorrow afternoon if oversized Gregor at the harbor is not unconscious. Its thursday, so it should be fine.

    FPug, welcome! You will be a huge asset!

    Yes, building the park, but I think fences and such things are overrated. Dinos need their freedom, just like kangeroos. Some kind of fence perhaps. How many workers do we need to hire?
  • edited April 2011
    RaptorsRwk wrote: »
    Hold on we have all the heavy hitters so far but whos going to supply the cheap labor? We need tired, low payed, overworked, demoralized, broken spirited people to actually build the park.

    well u can get nemas relatives to do it
  • edited April 2011
    asyncus wrote: »
    The bulgarian scientists has went out on a strike Im afraid. I accidently miscalculated the amount of the cigarettes they usually get as their monthly payment. My fault. Im getting a new shipment tomorrow afternoon if oversized Gregor at the harbor is not unconscious. Its thursday, so it should be fine.

    FPug, welcome! You will be a huge asset!

    Yes, building the park, but I think fences and such things are overrated. Dinos need their freedom, just like kangeroos. Some kind of fence perhaps. How many workers do we need to hire?

    Depending on wether or not they have good work ethic and wether or not we have to pay them in cigs like your bulgarians or with beer and drugs (so many variables im afraid) but i think a good guess is about 50
  • edited April 2011
    asyncus wrote: »
    The bulgarian scientists has went out on a strike Im afraid. I accidently miscalculated the amount of the cigarettes they usually get as their monthly payment. My fault. Im getting a new shipment tomorrow afternoon if oversized Gregor at the harbor is not unconscious. Its thursday, so it should be fine.

    That's a relief to hear. For a second, I thought the project would have to be delayed.
    FPug, welcome! You will be a huge asset!

    I'm convinced that they will be too. I'm glad that you approve of my choice in staff, sir.
    Yes, building the park, but I think fences and such things are overrated. Dinos need their freedom, just like kangeroos. Some kind of fence perhaps. How many workers do we need to hire?

    You should consult our math expert, Bombillazo. RaptorsRwk seems to possess talents in the mathematical field too.
  • edited April 2011
    That's a relief to hear. For a second, I thought the project would have to be delayed.



    I'm convinced that they will be too. I'm glad that you approve of my choice in staff, sir.



    You should consult our math expert, Bombillazo. RaptorsRwk seems to possess talents in the mathematical field too.

    Thank you I have been known to dabble in the math field from time to time. I'm a jack of all trades if I do say so myself and I stand by my estimate give or take 10 workers because no matter the size of the park they can be overworked and are expendable. And if need be I can have my assistant watch over them as they work(yes I have an assistant. Shouldn't everybody)
  • edited April 2011
    Why thank you. I appreciate your support and know that I love you too, anonymous computer user under the alias 'RexMaster'.

    Haha! Its good to know the feeling is mutual!

    *Starts up tracking software and begins tracking IP address*
  • edited April 2011
    Seeing as I supervise the Hatchery and help the Dinosaurs grow up, I wouldn't mind also being the Dinosaur Doctor. We can't have sick dinosaurs roaming about the island now can we?
  • edited April 2011
    Oh we are going to get so rich and famous! I love all ideas! I -- like -- it. But what name will the Park have? Any ideas?

    Cant we find some island where there are minerals, like diamonds, gold, silver so we can hire; I believe the political correct word is, hmm i dunno. But midgets. So they can start working in the mines. I want golden teeth and then starting up a side-area for my pimping business. Imagin a rainy day where no dinos are spottet, the tourists that have spend thousends and thousends of dollars starting to questioning the whole trip.

    Then I step in and say: Hey mr Kowagatchi, You seem sad! if the touristguys name is Kowagatchi that is, It could also be Ray, Randy, James, Stephany, Sven. He say - Yes were are all the dinos?? I havent seen any dino at all during the whole visit.
    Then I say. I got a little treat for you mr Kowagatchi. Wanting company? And as Kowagatchi is a family father he may decline, but then I say. -We use plan B, Family can go away in many forms, this island is huge. Kowagatchi says yes. No more family,

    You say, what has this to do with a dinosaurpark or even smart thinking? Well, nothing. But I see this as recreation-time- and we must have some kind of recreation, no?
  • edited April 2011
    We also need cars for the park. I thinking of Audi Q7 as tour vehicle.

    and of course people for maintain the cars.
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