(?) You left his body behind.
Hank
I knew this is not the best thing to do, Travis will probably hate my guts for this, but I'd rather… more see one dead man without a proper burial that more dead men...also without a proper burial. I just nodded with a sad puppy face and told the mole to guide us, leaving Ryan on the ground, his mouth wet from all this blood he had. The mole told us to follow him by a hand gesture and we did. We ran out of the camp through a hole in the wall and jumped into the river, the flow was fast and I felt like I was drowning, but that was actually a pretty decent way to escape. I could sense that the reinforcements entered the camp, but all they're gonna see is a bunch of dead bodies...Yeah, uhm, you-know-who's body too. I lost conciousness at some point but I wake up again on the side of a river, my friends nearby.
''YESSS WE FUCKING DID IT! EAT MY SHIT BANDITS!'' The mole shouted and I began to recognize his sho… [view original content]
(?) You left his body behind.
Hank
I knew this is not the best thing to do, Travis will probably hate my guts for this, but I'd rather… more see one dead man without a proper burial that more dead men...also without a proper burial. I just nodded with a sad puppy face and told the mole to guide us, leaving Ryan on the ground, his mouth wet from all this blood he had. The mole told us to follow him by a hand gesture and we did. We ran out of the camp through a hole in the wall and jumped into the river, the flow was fast and I felt like I was drowning, but that was actually a pretty decent way to escape. I could sense that the reinforcements entered the camp, but all they're gonna see is a bunch of dead bodies...Yeah, uhm, you-know-who's body too. I lost conciousness at some point but I wake up again on the side of a river, my friends nearby.
''YESSS WE FUCKING DID IT! EAT MY SHIT BANDITS!'' The mole shouted and I began to recognize his sho… [view original content]
(?) You left his body behind.
Hank
I knew this is not the best thing to do, Travis will probably hate my guts for this, but I'd rather… more see one dead man without a proper burial that more dead men...also without a proper burial. I just nodded with a sad puppy face and told the mole to guide us, leaving Ryan on the ground, his mouth wet from all this blood he had. The mole told us to follow him by a hand gesture and we did. We ran out of the camp through a hole in the wall and jumped into the river, the flow was fast and I felt like I was drowning, but that was actually a pretty decent way to escape. I could sense that the reinforcements entered the camp, but all they're gonna see is a bunch of dead bodies...Yeah, uhm, you-know-who's body too. I lost conciousness at some point but I wake up again on the side of a river, my friends nearby.
''YESSS WE FUCKING DID IT! EAT MY SHIT BANDITS!'' The mole shouted and I began to recognize his sho… [view original content]
(?) You left his body behind.
Hank
I knew this is not the best thing to do, Travis will probably hate my guts for this, but I'd rather… more see one dead man without a proper burial that more dead men...also without a proper burial. I just nodded with a sad puppy face and told the mole to guide us, leaving Ryan on the ground, his mouth wet from all this blood he had. The mole told us to follow him by a hand gesture and we did. We ran out of the camp through a hole in the wall and jumped into the river, the flow was fast and I felt like I was drowning, but that was actually a pretty decent way to escape. I could sense that the reinforcements entered the camp, but all they're gonna see is a bunch of dead bodies...Yeah, uhm, you-know-who's body too. I lost conciousness at some point but I wake up again on the side of a river, my friends nearby.
''YESSS WE FUCKING DID IT! EAT MY SHIT BANDITS!'' The mole shouted and I began to recognize his sho… [view original content]
(?) You left his body behind.
Hank
I knew this is not the best thing to do, Travis will probably hate my guts for this, but I'd rather… more see one dead man without a proper burial that more dead men...also without a proper burial. I just nodded with a sad puppy face and told the mole to guide us, leaving Ryan on the ground, his mouth wet from all this blood he had. The mole told us to follow him by a hand gesture and we did. We ran out of the camp through a hole in the wall and jumped into the river, the flow was fast and I felt like I was drowning, but that was actually a pretty decent way to escape. I could sense that the reinforcements entered the camp, but all they're gonna see is a bunch of dead bodies...Yeah, uhm, you-know-who's body too. I lost conciousness at some point but I wake up again on the side of a river, my friends nearby.
''YESSS WE FUCKING DID IT! EAT MY SHIT BANDITS!'' The mole shouted and I began to recognize his sho… [view original content]
(?) You left his body behind.
Hank
I knew this is not the best thing to do, Travis will probably hate my guts for this, but I'd rather… more see one dead man without a proper burial that more dead men...also without a proper burial. I just nodded with a sad puppy face and told the mole to guide us, leaving Ryan on the ground, his mouth wet from all this blood he had. The mole told us to follow him by a hand gesture and we did. We ran out of the camp through a hole in the wall and jumped into the river, the flow was fast and I felt like I was drowning, but that was actually a pretty decent way to escape. I could sense that the reinforcements entered the camp, but all they're gonna see is a bunch of dead bodies...Yeah, uhm, you-know-who's body too. I lost conciousness at some point but I wake up again on the side of a river, my friends nearby.
''YESSS WE FUCKING DID IT! EAT MY SHIT BANDITS!'' The mole shouted and I began to recognize his sho… [view original content]
''Really, seeing Spook back in Turretville, I thought he would be more sinister and unique. He wants to steal some Hyperion tech and then attack us? I dunno, I thought he was more smart than that...'' I said, listening to Sordo's story. Apparently, since that explosion of Scooter's station, bandits working directly for Spook had found him and took him in, so he decided to take that opportunity and spy on him. After he got to know his plans, he contacted Axton. Those were Spook's plans; retake an old high-tech Hyperion research facility that's been abandoned since Handsome Jack died and revive a project that's been worked on there; Create a very badass mini-boss loader bot called Mars - Saturn's descendant. He planned to attack Siren's Heaven with it. I thought it was an OK villain plan, but all this fuzz was about an old robot, while they could use a new Vault everybody's speaking of.
''You clearly haven't been paying attention, bro. Spook wants to use the Vault if his first plan doesn't go...y'know...as planned...but you know, using a Vault is even less unique than having a Loader Bot wipe out shit! Still, guns are for pussies, no matter what.'' Sordo replied. Pfft.
''Would you stop criticizing his plans?! They need to be stopped no matter what, their only purpose is to kill us! So, guys, please...'' Mary complained. Yes, that was kind of weird to criticize Spook's plans. But if he wanted to be a good villain of this story, he needed to have decent plans!
Well, anyway, we were still coming back from the camp Sordo's been living in for those five days. We were near Siren's Heaven, we could see the walls in not-so-far distance and the building on a hill nearby...How did everyone call it? Uhm, I think it was Dr. Zed's Hoespital. Haha, get it? Hoes and hospital...Wait, I think that was explained in Eagle's point of view...Hrmm...Oh well, a little bit of repeatin' won't do you any harm, right? Anyway, we stopped near a little oasis near the hoespital. There were some lovely bushes and trees, psychoes, bandits, flowers...Wait, what?
''Ahh, there you are, mole. You thought you could escape Spook in one piece? We were expecting that...So that's why we're here'' The bandit said and pointed his rifle at us. ''By the way, don't feel left out. We're gonna kill you too'' He added after a short while. And a quick shootout started. Why quick? Because Krieg and Brick jumped in there and kicked the shit out of the bandits. They were dead or...worse in a couple of minutes.
''Yo, it's all good now'' Brick said in a funny tone of voice. I smiled at him and we were good to go. ''You're both using melee a lot. I like you. You're not a bunch of pussies'', Sordo said. They all smiled to themselves and I told them to go. Garrus, who was also with us, seemed to be silent. But I bet he was having fun. He's a cool dude. But there was something we all haven't expected...I looked back and noticed how one of the beaten bandits was slowly going up and raised his hand with a pistol in it and then, before I could warn Sordo, he pulled the trigger and Sordo was hit near the chest.
''APUSSYSHOTMEAGAIN'', he yelled and fell on the ground. I killed the bandit and I immediately ordered my pals to help me get him up. There was this Hoespital nearby, we should take that opportunity!
Eagle
(?) You decided to get into Zed's personal life and respond to Scorch74...whoever she is
Yeah, why not. Since Zed built this hoespital and started working on it, he's been very busy. In a place like this, with ''brave'' people wanting to be kings and get many XP points, he definitely needs to patch up some wounds. And the Insta-Heals, even if they're very useful, aren't perfect. For example, did you know that after being shot, Insta-Heals remove the hellish pain from your nerves and patches up your wounds, but it leaves bullets inside your body? Which means that all Vault Hunters you've ever seen have a lot of ammo in their insides...The More You Know! Also, I'm getting way off track.
''Hey there Of course I wanna meet you and see if this is gonna work, meet me whenever you can. And don't worry about the age difference. Did you know that in medieval Europe on Earth, it was normal for a king to have a 13 years old wife? Well, seems like you're older than 13, but...uh, hopefully you get the point. Let's meet at the Hoespital sometime'', I wrote back. For a while, I saw 'Scorch74 is typing...' message, but then it randomly dissapeared. Huh. Oh well. My thoughts were interrupted by a sudden burst into the room. It was Dr. Zed. Hey there, buddy.
''Oh, uhm, what's going on? The operation is over, I came here to solve your problem...Why is he so damn loud? And what's that god-awful smell?!'' He asked.
''Umm, Mordecai couldn't fix the computer and he was kinda very drunk, so I decided to be a good man and help him. Now your computer works.'' I replied. He smiled.
''He was snoring so loud I got scared during the operation and kinda widened my patient's ass hole...Heh heh, at least he won't suffer of constipation, heh heh...'' Zed said, laughing awkwardly, while my jaw dropped so bad I started coughing again. He told me to enter his office by a hand gesture. I did and sat near his desk.
''So, how can I help you, my dear patient?'' He asked.
''Well, since my visit on the snowy lands of Three-Horn Divide, I've been coughing really bad and my damn nose is dripping. What medicaments should I get?'' I asked. He thought of it for a while then, bang, he got an idea. He reached for something from under his desk. Then he pulled out a box of medication.
''Take this, it's called Nosorrhea, it will help you with your runny nose, but for the coughing, I'd suggest to buy an Insta-Heal from one of my vending machines. They're all over Pandora.'' He replied and I smiled as I grabbed the box, coughing immediately after.
''How much will it cost me?'' I asked politely.
''10 dollars for Nosorrhea, uhm...I don't remember how much does an Insta-Heal cost but it's not that much'' Zed replied.
''Ok, thanks. I'm gonna be leaving now. And thanks for all'', I said as I gave ten dollars to Zed. He smiled and shook his head. I stood up and went to the door and tried to open it, but then it suddenly opened with great force that I've been knocked on the wall. Who was that? Two women, one was obviously older than the second. I knew one of them. It was Maya, a badass siren, one of Handsome Jack's murderers.
''ZEEEEEED!!!!'', she yelled.
''What? I've got patients to heal. If you're ill, please wait for your turn'', the doctor replied in a sassy way.
''You're gonna pay!'', she yelled again, seeming to ignore what Dr. Zed just said.
MAYA
Master of healing prison orbs. Badass!
''Pay for what? Have you donated any organs and I haven't paid you? That's alright, I will send the money soon.'' Zed was still going through his sassy replies.
''Don't play a fool on me, Zed! You've been trying to date my daughter and she's far f$*%ing younger than you! She's young and unexperienced in life and you took advantage on that, you ol' pervert!'' She screamed. Woah...What I have done? Did I just kill Dr. Zed?
''Mom, please, calm down! I'm sorry for that, he's just...handsome.'' The girl she brought in here said.
''Handsome? Maybe. Perverted, for sure. The age difference is bigger than 25! By the way, I'm not that mad at you, Scorch. Only at him.'' Maya replied.
''Oh, okay'' Scorch said with a smug face.
SCORCH
Phaselock Junior.
...Wait, Maya has a daughter?
''I...What? I haven't done anything like that! I mean, I have an account on Echoing Love but I haven't written anything to Scorch! Maya, calm down!'' Zed tried to defend himself, but his arguments quickly became invalid as the Siren showed him Scorch's laptop. His eyes widened.
''W-What? I haven't...Maya, please, I've been framed, I--'' Zed began to stutter and looked at me with disbelief until Maya hit him with that laptop and been pushed onto the jars I've mentioned earlier. One of them broke and its contents spilled on the doctor himself. It made a gross sound and Zed's terrifying scream didn't make it better.
''Agh...Urrrgh...You spilled zombie's acid on me! Ughhh...Hrgggh...Oh, God...'' He mumbled. Maya had an apologizing look on her face.
''Zed, I'm sorry...It's just...You've just pushed me too much. Please don't ever try to screw with my daughter again. I'm pretty sure I can screw you even more.'' She said. Scorch approached her.
''Mom, sometimes you just gotta understand that I'm an adult and I have proven that by getting out of Hyperion that's been keeping us away from many years. But I'll try to remember that you don't like anyone who's far older than me'', she said. Maya gave her a weak smile.
''It's just...Since you were four, I've lost you and now you returned not so long ago...Guess I'm too over-protective...But you need to deal with that, too, heh heh'' Maya replied and smiled. Scorch smiled her back. But that amazing bonding moment (while Zed was suffering from the acid) has been interrupted by Hank and his group who burst into the office. Doctor rolled his eyes.
''What the f@#k now?!'', Zed yelled.
''It's the mole! We've got him, but he's been shot! We really need an immediate operation!'', Hank yelled. Zed got up, having a little problems, but he managed. He took a deep breath and focused on what was happening right now. ''Get him to the operation hall. It's at the third floor!'' Zed commanded with passion in his voice.
''Third floor? What the fuck?'' Garrus yelled in a tired tone of voice. Zed gave him a creepy glare meaning to tell him it's no use to question a fella who's named Doctor Zed. We all moved out of the office and into the third floor's operation hall. It was very wide with lots of tables, equipment and sinks to wash your hands after a(n) (un)succesful operation. We put him on the table. The mole with deformed helmet has been unconcious and slowly bleeding from his gunshot wound. ''I've got this!'', Dr. Zed. That was convincing...
Suddenly, the ground shook and the ceiling had collapsed. A robot-like thing got through the hole. It was Spook who modified some loader parts and glued them together into a power suit. He was able to fly and walk in it. He also had an armour and a very good shield. On his 'mechanical' arm, there was sort of a gun that spat grenades when used. A grenade launcher built into a power suit? Interesting...Anyway, he shot some of the grenades into the medical equipment and then one fled right onto the operation table...A lot of smoke went into the air and everything was barely visible, but I could see the mole's disemblowed body and quite a bit of blood...Also the confusion on my pals' faces were priceless. I couldn't see Spook's face, but I bet he was grinning at us.
''I'm pretty sure you don't got it, doc. I always tie the loose ends. Even if that treacherous prick sold out my plans before I managed to get him, you're just gonna see how much I've changed them. Remember, assholes - you're just a little barricade on the road for me to uniting the savage citizens of this planet and ruling it. Anyways, my work here is done. Now, it's my pal's time to shine...'' Spook gave his villain speech and flew out of the Hoespital as soon as he ended. After a while, a red cube fell to the room and it transformed into a very tall and murderous-looking loader bot. It had machine guns instead of arms and rocket launchers on his back.
''Arodnap gnitinu trats ot emit'', it said.
MARS
Saturn's descendant
The problem with this battlefield was that the room, even if it was quite wide, was small, so the bot easily wiped us out with his rockets that regenerated in his launcher after...well...launching them. I saw how everyone's shields was getting hurt and Garrus' one depleted and he was crawling in pain. I decided to make a smart move, a flaw in Mars' unbeatable existence that would win this with a single shot...the rockets. How would they help with defeating IT rather than US, you ask? Well, that's simple. If I were to shoot one of the rockets, it would explode, causing the whole launcher to go to hell. If the explosion's radius would be good enough, it would wipe out the second launcher. I took the shot and...bam...as I thought, the launcher exploded...and the second one, too! Yes! The loader started burning but it seemed like the fire damage didn't do him much.
''Inoreppep in tser. Enog era stekcor suoicerp ym ,orrre ,rorre.'' The thing said again and before it could do anything, we put it down. Well, that was crazy. Suddenly, Axton, Celeste and Ryon burst into the operation hall. They definitely were in a hurry!
''Eagle! Hank! Are you okay?! We just fought a bunch of bandits! The Hoespital's ruined...But at least you're safe...Are you?'' Celeste asked with a caring voice.
''Did I just miss a very exciting boss battle? Gah, that's too bad.'' Ryon commented. Axton looked around the hall, examined dead Mars' body and then looked at Sordo. His state was...bad. But exploding by a grenade is never good. The operation table was also a history. And Zed? He looked quite depressed and angry...at least that's how I thought he felt, as his face was pretty emotionless, although he was blinking more than usual.
''It's been a long day. Too much happened. Move out, privates. Sun's almost down. We all need to rest. We don't know what else fate has been keeping warm for us'', Axton said after a minute of silence. ''Oh, and you, Brick. I want you to repeat me the mole's story, if you remember it, if he told anything at all. We really need this info, even if it is outdated'' He added. I yawned and went home.
Hank
Ah, well, that was a long day. Almost too long. My legs hurt and I definitely was a witness to too many events. I returned back home. It got quite dark, but I didn't care, my only wish was to get in my warm bed. I was quite surprised that my friend J4N1T0R-TP hasn't returned from his shitty job yet but maybe he got extra garbage to clean up...Nnngh, I get sick thinking of what he is forced to clean up...Anyway, I found my bed and without even dressing up into my lovely space pajamas, I made myself comfortable and closed my eyes, meaning to sleep.
''You'll rest only in Heaven, Hank'' A mysterious, unknown voice said. I looked around and saw no one. For a couple of seconds, I thought I finally got crazy, even if it is my first week on this planet. I changed my mind when I noticed a shiny pistol pointed right at me. Then, the stranger moved out of the shadows. He had short brown spiky hair, brown eyes and wore a redish armour with small bits of black on it. He was grinning.
''THAT WAS FUCKING PATHETIC INTRODUCTION GERARD'' the armour seemed to speak.
''Urrgh, don't ruin my moment now, D00M. It's a big fish. Something I definitely want to be epic and your...obnoxious nature just keeps disturbing it!'' The stranger, apparently named Gerard, said to its armour.
''REMEMBER HOW YOU KILLED THAT BOY'S DAD? RIGHT BEFORE YOU SHOT HIM IN THE HEAD, I YELLED ''NOW YOU'RE GETTING SHOT BY A PUSSY. BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF''. THAT WAS FUCKING COMEDY GOLD'', the armour yelled again.
''Okay, shut up. Ahem. If you don't know me, Hank, I am Gerard Drake. I'm a bounty hunter. And I like to take the bounties seriously and Lilith obviously called for your heard. Luckily, I brought a hatchet with myself'' He said, removing a hatchet out of his pocket while still pointing a gun at me.
GERARD DRAKE
A Bounty hunter / Pandoran Iron Man / Currently sued by Disney for using that reference
''JUST SHOOT THAT GUY IN THE CHEST AND WE'LL CUT HIS UGLY ASS HEAD LATER ON'', D00M (the armour, apparently named that way) said.
''That is exactly what I'm gonna do, D00M!'' Gerard said.
YOUR CHOICES
Attention - You didn't reveal the meeting to Crimson Raiders.
Friendship - You didn't let Travis accompany you
Headshot - You shot the cage operator in the head.
Greedy - You stole the corrosive upgrade.
Heroism - You stayed in the sawmill. At least, you wanted to.
Bets - You decided to bet your prestige on Salvador. Good one.
Definition Of Insanity - You told J4N1T0R-TP about The Sheriff.
Danger - You hacked Wergen's chainsaw.
Risk - You offered Skag-Pie place in Siren's Heaven.
Fun - You let Salvador go on an unplanned date with Moxxi.
Loyalty - You told Helena about Lilith's conspiracy to take you down.
''I'll make it quick. If you won't move, hopefully I won't stain my buddy D00M with your Hyperion blood'', Gerard was sending threats to Hank.
''AWW THAT'S SO NICE OF YOU GERARD'' The armour mocked the bounty hunter.
''This has been a hard week, there's no doubt about that. That's why I kinda thought it'd be good for you to go on a vacation to Crackenin' Isle, Maya. You can take your daughter Scorch, of course.'' Axton said.
''Oh, so you want to throw me out from Siren's Heaven because I harmed Zed by this zombie acid thingie? Just like Roland threw out Brick?'' She replied.
''No, it's just...There were so many bad things happening I just care about you. And I think about the new Vault Hunters joining you. There are surely some good-paying jobs in Crackenin' Isle and I don't want you guys to go insane because there's so much stuff happenin'. Nobody would want two psycho sirens and four psycho gun pros'', Axton giggled.
Crackenin' Isle was beautiful. It was a town built on an inactive volcano and it was surrounded by canyons where some Bullymongs lived. Even if living here sounds like a suicide, the Bullymongs are peaceful and the volcano, well, it doesn't work. We've met some similiar and new faces.
''Hello there, friends! It's so nice to meet you!'' Skag-Pie yelled.
''Oh, it's you. Well, I've been suspecting that Axton would send you here'', Helena said.
''Vault Hunters? Ooooh, yess! You could come into my shop sometime if you don't mind'', a fat guy with a Russian accent said.
''SCORCH?! SCOOOOOORCH!!!!'' Maya yelled and her scream was so loud I could hear it from the other side of the town.
''Who is she?'', Celeste asked but everyone shook heads.
''I dunno. She looks like a siren'', Hank said.
''Well, obviously. She's got tattoos and shit. But I don't recall her.'' Celeste replied back. Suddenly, Mary stood in front of the unknown siren and her eyes widened.
NEXT TIME ON QUEST FOR LOOT AND GLORY
''I'll make it quick. If you won't move, hopefully I won't stain my buddy D00M with your Hyperion b… morelood'', Gerard was sending threats to Hank.
''AWW THAT'S SO NICE OF YOU GERARD'' The armour mocked the bounty hunter.
''This has been a hard week, there's no doubt about that. That's why I kinda thought it'd be good for you to go on a vacation to Crackenin' Isle, Maya. You can take your daughter Scorch, of course.'' Axton said.
''Oh, so you want to throw me out from Siren's Heaven because I harmed Zed by this zombie acid thingie? Just like Roland threw out Brick?'' She replied.
''No, it's just...There were so many bad things happening I just care about you. And I think about the new Vault Hunters joining you. There are surely some good-paying jobs in Crackenin' Isle and I don't want you guys to go insane because there's so much stuff happenin'. Nobody would want two psycho sirens and four ps… [view original content]
NEXT TIME ON QUEST FOR LOOT AND GLORY
''I'll make it quick. If you won't move, hopefully I won't stain my buddy D00M with your Hyperion b… morelood'', Gerard was sending threats to Hank.
''AWW THAT'S SO NICE OF YOU GERARD'' The armour mocked the bounty hunter.
''This has been a hard week, there's no doubt about that. That's why I kinda thought it'd be good for you to go on a vacation to Crackenin' Isle, Maya. You can take your daughter Scorch, of course.'' Axton said.
''Oh, so you want to throw me out from Siren's Heaven because I harmed Zed by this zombie acid thingie? Just like Roland threw out Brick?'' She replied.
''No, it's just...There were so many bad things happening I just care about you. And I think about the new Vault Hunters joining you. There are surely some good-paying jobs in Crackenin' Isle and I don't want you guys to go insane because there's so much stuff happenin'. Nobody would want two psycho sirens and four ps… [view original content]
NEXT TIME ON QUEST FOR LOOT AND GLORY
''I'll make it quick. If you won't move, hopefully I won't stain my buddy D00M with your Hyperion b… morelood'', Gerard was sending threats to Hank.
''AWW THAT'S SO NICE OF YOU GERARD'' The armour mocked the bounty hunter.
''This has been a hard week, there's no doubt about that. That's why I kinda thought it'd be good for you to go on a vacation to Crackenin' Isle, Maya. You can take your daughter Scorch, of course.'' Axton said.
''Oh, so you want to throw me out from Siren's Heaven because I harmed Zed by this zombie acid thingie? Just like Roland threw out Brick?'' She replied.
''No, it's just...There were so many bad things happening I just care about you. And I think about the new Vault Hunters joining you. There are surely some good-paying jobs in Crackenin' Isle and I don't want you guys to go insane because there's so much stuff happenin'. Nobody would want two psycho sirens and four ps… [view original content]
Soooo, on Monday, I'm going on a surgery and I won't be back until Friday or later if something goes wrong, I'll try to make a chapter on the weekend (or today, we'll see), but don't expect bananas from me
Soooo, on Monday, I'm going on a surgery and I won't be back until Friday or later if something goes wrong, I'll try to make a chapter on the weekend (or today, we'll see), but don't expect bananas from me
Soooo, on Monday, I'm going on a surgery and I won't be back until Friday or later if something goes wrong, I'll try to make a chapter on the weekend (or today, we'll see), but don't expect bananas from me
Yes, I am a sad panda now, dissapointed of the lack of #Rhyiona in the newest TFTB episode!
(And also it's very cute ohmagawd I won't change it any time soon)
I'm feeling pretty well, my leg is all in bandages and I can't really move it for a couple of days, so I had a problem moving my computer convieniently so I could use it from my bed, but now it's all set
I know you really want a chapter, but I don't know when will one be.
I'm feeling pretty well, my leg is all in bandages and I can't really move it for a couple of days, so I had a problem moving my computer co… morenvieniently so I could use it from my bed, but now it's all set
I know you really want a chapter, but I don't know when will one be.
Comments
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Let's hook him up. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
[Write a response]
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Ulalla
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Dr. Zed is getting dat puss tonight. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
[Write a response] im courious what Eagle will write
[Write a response] I know where this is going ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
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God, only three days passed. I thought it was a week.
End of the year and I gotta fix my scores a lil' bit ^^
Gonna write a chapter today or tomorrow
Guess not :P
Then today...
Had no Time yesterday being a guest on someone's livestream
Oh, that's alright. May I ask who's livestream you were on?
A Polish let's player called TomBoula, I often come at his livestreams, sometimes I participate
Can you confirm that we'll get the next part before Ep. 3?
I can
Hank
''Really, seeing Spook back in Turretville, I thought he would be more sinister and unique. He wants to steal some Hyperion tech and then attack us? I dunno, I thought he was more smart than that...'' I said, listening to Sordo's story. Apparently, since that explosion of Scooter's station, bandits working directly for Spook had found him and took him in, so he decided to take that opportunity and spy on him. After he got to know his plans, he contacted Axton. Those were Spook's plans; retake an old high-tech Hyperion research facility that's been abandoned since Handsome Jack died and revive a project that's been worked on there; Create a very badass mini-boss loader bot called Mars - Saturn's descendant. He planned to attack Siren's Heaven with it. I thought it was an OK villain plan, but all this fuzz was about an old robot, while they could use a new Vault everybody's speaking of.
''You clearly haven't been paying attention, bro. Spook wants to use the Vault if his first plan doesn't go...y'know...as planned...but you know, using a Vault is even less unique than having a Loader Bot wipe out shit! Still, guns are for pussies, no matter what.'' Sordo replied. Pfft.
''Would you stop criticizing his plans?! They need to be stopped no matter what, their only purpose is to kill us! So, guys, please...'' Mary complained. Yes, that was kind of weird to criticize Spook's plans. But if he wanted to be a good villain of this story, he needed to have decent plans!
Well, anyway, we were still coming back from the camp Sordo's been living in for those five days. We were near Siren's Heaven, we could see the walls in not-so-far distance and the building on a hill nearby...How did everyone call it? Uhm, I think it was Dr. Zed's Hoespital. Haha, get it? Hoes and hospital...Wait, I think that was explained in Eagle's point of view...Hrmm...Oh well, a little bit of repeatin' won't do you any harm, right? Anyway, we stopped near a little oasis near the hoespital. There were some lovely bushes and trees, psychoes, bandits, flowers...Wait, what?
''Ahh, there you are, mole. You thought you could escape Spook in one piece? We were expecting that...So that's why we're here'' The bandit said and pointed his rifle at us. ''By the way, don't feel left out. We're gonna kill you too'' He added after a short while. And a quick shootout started. Why quick? Because Krieg and Brick jumped in there and kicked the shit out of the bandits. They were dead or...worse in a couple of minutes.
''Yo, it's all good now'' Brick said in a funny tone of voice. I smiled at him and we were good to go. ''You're both using melee a lot. I like you. You're not a bunch of pussies'', Sordo said. They all smiled to themselves and I told them to go. Garrus, who was also with us, seemed to be silent. But I bet he was having fun. He's a cool dude. But there was something we all haven't expected...I looked back and noticed how one of the beaten bandits was slowly going up and raised his hand with a pistol in it and then, before I could warn Sordo, he pulled the trigger and Sordo was hit near the chest.
''APUSSYSHOTMEAGAIN'', he yelled and fell on the ground. I killed the bandit and I immediately ordered my pals to help me get him up. There was this Hoespital nearby, we should take that opportunity!
Eagle
(?) You decided to get into Zed's personal life and respond to Scorch74...whoever she is
Yeah, why not. Since Zed built this hoespital and started working on it, he's been very busy. In a place like this, with ''brave'' people wanting to be kings and get many XP points, he definitely needs to patch up some wounds. And the Insta-Heals, even if they're very useful, aren't perfect. For example, did you know that after being shot, Insta-Heals remove the hellish pain from your nerves and patches up your wounds, but it leaves bullets inside your body? Which means that all Vault Hunters you've ever seen have a lot of ammo in their insides...The More You Know! Also, I'm getting way off track.
''Hey there
Of course I wanna meet you and see if this is gonna work, meet me whenever you can. And don't worry about the age difference. Did you know that in medieval Europe on Earth, it was normal for a king to have a 13 years old wife? Well, seems like you're older than 13, but...uh, hopefully you get the point. Let's meet at the Hoespital sometime'', I wrote back. For a while, I saw 'Scorch74 is typing...' message, but then it randomly dissapeared. Huh. Oh well. My thoughts were interrupted by a sudden burst into the room. It was Dr. Zed. Hey there, buddy.
''Oh, uhm, what's going on? The operation is over, I came here to solve your problem...Why is he so damn loud? And what's that god-awful smell?!'' He asked.
''Umm, Mordecai couldn't fix the computer and he was kinda very drunk, so I decided to be a good man and help him. Now your computer works.'' I replied. He smiled.
''He was snoring so loud I got scared during the operation and kinda widened my patient's ass hole...Heh heh, at least he won't suffer of constipation, heh heh...'' Zed said, laughing awkwardly, while my jaw dropped so bad I started coughing again. He told me to enter his office by a hand gesture. I did and sat near his desk.
''So, how can I help you, my dear patient?'' He asked.
''Well, since my visit on the snowy lands of Three-Horn Divide, I've been coughing really bad and my damn nose is dripping. What medicaments should I get?'' I asked. He thought of it for a while then, bang, he got an idea. He reached for something from under his desk. Then he pulled out a box of medication.
''Take this, it's called Nosorrhea, it will help you with your runny nose, but for the coughing, I'd suggest to buy an Insta-Heal from one of my vending machines. They're all over Pandora.'' He replied and I smiled as I grabbed the box, coughing immediately after.
''How much will it cost me?'' I asked politely.
''10 dollars for Nosorrhea, uhm...I don't remember how much does an Insta-Heal cost but it's not that much'' Zed replied.
''Ok, thanks. I'm gonna be leaving now. And thanks for all'', I said as I gave ten dollars to Zed. He smiled and shook his head. I stood up and went to the door and tried to open it, but then it suddenly opened with great force that I've been knocked on the wall. Who was that? Two women, one was obviously older than the second. I knew one of them. It was Maya, a badass siren, one of Handsome Jack's murderers.
''ZEEEEEED!!!!'', she yelled.
''What? I've got patients to heal. If you're ill, please wait for your turn'', the doctor replied in a sassy way.
''You're gonna pay!'', she yelled again, seeming to ignore what Dr. Zed just said.
MAYA
Master of healing prison orbs. Badass!
''Pay for what? Have you donated any organs and I haven't paid you? That's alright, I will send the money soon.'' Zed was still going through his sassy replies.
''Don't play a fool on me, Zed! You've been trying to date my daughter and she's far f$*%ing younger than you! She's young and unexperienced in life and you took advantage on that, you ol' pervert!'' She screamed. Woah...What I have done? Did I just kill Dr. Zed?
''Mom, please, calm down! I'm sorry for that, he's just...handsome.'' The girl she brought in here said.
''Handsome? Maybe. Perverted, for sure. The age difference is bigger than 25! By the way, I'm not that mad at you, Scorch. Only at him.'' Maya replied.
''Oh, okay'' Scorch said with a smug face.
SCORCH
Phaselock Junior.
...Wait, Maya has a daughter?
''I...What? I haven't done anything like that! I mean, I have an account on Echoing Love but I haven't written anything to Scorch! Maya, calm down!'' Zed tried to defend himself, but his arguments quickly became invalid as the Siren showed him Scorch's laptop. His eyes widened.
''W-What? I haven't...Maya, please, I've been framed, I--'' Zed began to stutter and looked at me with disbelief until Maya hit him with that laptop and been pushed onto the jars I've mentioned earlier. One of them broke and its contents spilled on the doctor himself. It made a gross sound and Zed's terrifying scream didn't make it better.
''Agh...Urrrgh...You spilled zombie's acid on me! Ughhh...Hrgggh...Oh, God...'' He mumbled. Maya had an apologizing look on her face.
''Zed, I'm sorry...It's just...You've just pushed me too much. Please don't ever try to screw with my daughter again. I'm pretty sure I can screw you even more.'' She said. Scorch approached her.
''Mom, sometimes you just gotta understand that I'm an adult and I have proven that by getting out of Hyperion that's been keeping us away from many years. But I'll try to remember that you don't like anyone who's far older than me'', she said. Maya gave her a weak smile.
''It's just...Since you were four, I've lost you and now you returned not so long ago...Guess I'm too over-protective...But you need to deal with that, too, heh heh'' Maya replied and smiled. Scorch smiled her back. But that amazing bonding moment (while Zed was suffering from the acid) has been interrupted by Hank and his group who burst into the office. Doctor rolled his eyes.
''What the f@#k now?!'', Zed yelled.
''It's the mole! We've got him, but he's been shot! We really need an immediate operation!'', Hank yelled. Zed got up, having a little problems, but he managed. He took a deep breath and focused on what was happening right now. ''Get him to the operation hall. It's at the third floor!'' Zed commanded with passion in his voice.
''Third floor? What the fuck?'' Garrus yelled in a tired tone of voice. Zed gave him a creepy glare meaning to tell him it's no use to question a fella who's named Doctor Zed. We all moved out of the office and into the third floor's operation hall. It was very wide with lots of tables, equipment and sinks to wash your hands after a(n) (un)succesful operation. We put him on the table. The mole with deformed helmet has been unconcious and slowly bleeding from his gunshot wound. ''I've got this!'', Dr. Zed. That was convincing...
Suddenly, the ground shook and the ceiling had collapsed. A robot-like thing got through the hole. It was Spook who modified some loader parts and glued them together into a power suit. He was able to fly and walk in it. He also had an armour and a very good shield. On his 'mechanical' arm, there was sort of a gun that spat grenades when used. A grenade launcher built into a power suit? Interesting...Anyway, he shot some of the grenades into the medical equipment and then one fled right onto the operation table...A lot of smoke went into the air and everything was barely visible, but I could see the mole's disemblowed body and quite a bit of blood...Also the confusion on my pals' faces were priceless. I couldn't see Spook's face, but I bet he was grinning at us.
''I'm pretty sure you don't got it, doc. I always tie the loose ends. Even if that treacherous prick sold out my plans before I managed to get him, you're just gonna see how much I've changed them. Remember, assholes - you're just a little barricade on the road for me to uniting the savage citizens of this planet and ruling it. Anyways, my work here is done. Now, it's my pal's time to shine...'' Spook gave his villain speech and flew out of the Hoespital as soon as he ended. After a while, a red cube fell to the room and it transformed into a very tall and murderous-looking loader bot. It had machine guns instead of arms and rocket launchers on his back.
''Arodnap gnitinu trats ot emit'', it said.
MARS
Saturn's descendant
The problem with this battlefield was that the room, even if it was quite wide, was small, so the bot easily wiped us out with his rockets that regenerated in his launcher after...well...launching them. I saw how everyone's shields was getting hurt and Garrus' one depleted and he was crawling in pain. I decided to make a smart move, a flaw in Mars' unbeatable existence that would win this with a single shot...the rockets. How would they help with defeating IT rather than US, you ask? Well, that's simple. If I were to shoot one of the rockets, it would explode, causing the whole launcher to go to hell. If the explosion's radius would be good enough, it would wipe out the second launcher. I took the shot and...bam...as I thought, the launcher exploded...and the second one, too! Yes! The loader started burning but it seemed like the fire damage didn't do him much.
''Inoreppep in tser. Enog era stekcor suoicerp ym ,orrre ,rorre.'' The thing said again and before it could do anything, we put it down. Well, that was crazy. Suddenly, Axton, Celeste and Ryon burst into the operation hall. They definitely were in a hurry!
''Eagle! Hank! Are you okay?! We just fought a bunch of bandits! The Hoespital's ruined...But at least you're safe...Are you?'' Celeste asked with a caring voice.
''Did I just miss a very exciting boss battle? Gah, that's too bad.'' Ryon commented. Axton looked around the hall, examined dead Mars' body and then looked at Sordo. His state was...bad. But exploding by a grenade is never good. The operation table was also a history. And Zed? He looked quite depressed and angry...at least that's how I thought he felt, as his face was pretty emotionless, although he was blinking more than usual.
''It's been a long day. Too much happened. Move out, privates. Sun's almost down. We all need to rest. We don't know what else fate has been keeping warm for us'', Axton said after a minute of silence. ''Oh, and you, Brick. I want you to repeat me the mole's story, if you remember it, if he told anything at all. We really need this info, even if it is outdated'' He added. I yawned and went home.
Hank
Ah, well, that was a long day. Almost too long. My legs hurt and I definitely was a witness to too many events. I returned back home. It got quite dark, but I didn't care, my only wish was to get in my warm bed. I was quite surprised that my friend J4N1T0R-TP hasn't returned from his shitty job yet but maybe he got extra garbage to clean up...Nnngh, I get sick thinking of what he is forced to clean up...Anyway, I found my bed and without even dressing up into my lovely space pajamas, I made myself comfortable and closed my eyes, meaning to sleep.
''You'll rest only in Heaven, Hank'' A mysterious, unknown voice said. I looked around and saw no one. For a couple of seconds, I thought I finally got crazy, even if it is my first week on this planet. I changed my mind when I noticed a shiny pistol pointed right at me. Then, the stranger moved out of the shadows. He had short brown spiky hair, brown eyes and wore a redish armour with small bits of black on it. He was grinning.
''THAT WAS FUCKING PATHETIC INTRODUCTION GERARD'' the armour seemed to speak.
''Urrgh, don't ruin my moment now, D00M. It's a big fish. Something I definitely want to be epic and your...obnoxious nature just keeps disturbing it!'' The stranger, apparently named Gerard, said to its armour.
''REMEMBER HOW YOU KILLED THAT BOY'S DAD? RIGHT BEFORE YOU SHOT HIM IN THE HEAD, I YELLED ''NOW YOU'RE GETTING SHOT BY A PUSSY. BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF''. THAT WAS FUCKING COMEDY GOLD'', the armour yelled again.
''Okay, shut up. Ahem. If you don't know me, Hank, I am Gerard Drake. I'm a bounty hunter. And I like to take the bounties seriously and Lilith obviously called for your heard. Luckily, I brought a hatchet with myself'' He said, removing a hatchet out of his pocket while still pointing a gun at me.
GERARD DRAKE
A Bounty hunter / Pandoran Iron Man / Currently sued by Disney for using that reference
''JUST SHOOT THAT GUY IN THE CHEST AND WE'LL CUT HIS UGLY ASS HEAD LATER ON'', D00M (the armour, apparently named that way) said.
''That is exactly what I'm gonna do, D00M!'' Gerard said.
YOUR CHOICES
Attention - You didn't reveal the meeting to Crimson Raiders.
Friendship - You didn't let Travis accompany you
Headshot - You shot the cage operator in the head.
Greedy - You stole the corrosive upgrade.
Heroism - You stayed in the sawmill. At least, you wanted to.
Bets - You decided to bet your prestige on Salvador. Good one.
Definition Of Insanity - You told J4N1T0R-TP about The Sheriff.
Danger - You hacked Wergen's chainsaw.
Risk - You offered Skag-Pie place in Siren's Heaven.
Fun - You let Salvador go on an unplanned date with Moxxi.
Loyalty - You told Helena about Lilith's conspiracy to take you down.
Anger management - You threw a chair at Lilith.
Deadman - You left Ryan's body in the camp.
Relationship - You wrote a response to Scorch.
NEXT TIME ON QUEST FOR LOOT AND GLORY
''I'll make it quick. If you won't move, hopefully I won't stain my buddy D00M with your Hyperion blood'', Gerard was sending threats to Hank.
''AWW THAT'S SO NICE OF YOU GERARD'' The armour mocked the bounty hunter.
''This has been a hard week, there's no doubt about that. That's why I kinda thought it'd be good for you to go on a vacation to Crackenin' Isle, Maya. You can take your daughter Scorch, of course.'' Axton said.
''Oh, so you want to throw me out from Siren's Heaven because I harmed Zed by this zombie acid thingie? Just like Roland threw out Brick?'' She replied.
''No, it's just...There were so many bad things happening I just care about you. And I think about the new Vault Hunters joining you. There are surely some good-paying jobs in Crackenin' Isle and I don't want you guys to go insane because there's so much stuff happenin'. Nobody would want two psycho sirens and four psycho gun pros'', Axton giggled.
Crackenin' Isle was beautiful. It was a town built on an inactive volcano and it was surrounded by canyons where some Bullymongs lived. Even if living here sounds like a suicide, the Bullymongs are peaceful and the volcano, well, it doesn't work. We've met some similiar and new faces.
''Hello there, friends! It's so nice to meet you!'' Skag-Pie yelled.
''Oh, it's you. Well, I've been suspecting that Axton would send you here'', Helena said.
''Vault Hunters? Ooooh, yess! You could come into my shop sometime if you don't mind'', a fat guy with a Russian accent said.
''SCORCH?! SCOOOOOORCH!!!!'' Maya yelled and her scream was so loud I could hear it from the other side of the town.
''Who is she?'', Celeste asked but everyone shook heads.
''I dunno. She looks like a siren'', Hank said.
''Well, obviously. She's got tattoos and shit. But I don't recall her.'' Celeste replied back. Suddenly, Mary stood in front of the unknown siren and her eyes widened.
''Oh my God. I know her'' She simply said.
EPISODE 3
A TALE OF MOTHER AND A DAUGHTER
COMING SOON
Aww yiss, Gerard's on the scene!
And now you spoiled Hank is going to survive. Bah.
OH MY GOD THAT EPISODE WAS SO BEAUTIFUL.
It Can be another Hank
It was a great Ep.! I hope the next one starts soon!
Crips: Uh-ga ;>
It will, not Telltale-soon
Soooo, on Monday, I'm going on a surgery and I won't be back until Friday or later if something goes wrong, I'll try to make a chapter on the weekend (or today, we'll see), but don't expect bananas from me
I am disappointed Crips. I expected bananas. Now I'll need to buy my own.
Does not exist Telltale-SOON :Р
Soon anywhere soon!
And we will wait a few months ^^
But I like bananas '_'
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5C6X9vOEkU
What is it? o_O
Banana phone :'D
Crips...hey... you looks like panda now...
I thought you chips ;_;
Yes, I am a sad panda now, dissapointed of the lack of #Rhyiona in the newest TFTB episode!
(And also it's very cute ohmagawd I won't change it any time soon)
YOU DIDN'T KNOW THIS?
Is there an update on how your feeling Crips?
I'll take that as a no.
Soon
I'm feeling pretty well, my leg is all in bandages and I can't really move it for a couple of days, so I had a problem moving my computer convieniently so I could use it from my bed, but now it's all set
I know you really want a chapter, but I don't know when will one be.
Wait, what happend with you, Crips?
You alright?