I really liked it! Since I am pretty bad at giving criticism, positive or negative, I have to make it short here. I noticed some grammar mistakes, but that was nothing that would stop me from enjoying the story. I'm looking forward for the future parts
Liennia Mason (17) District Two
Pre-Reaping 1/2
Today is the big day. I will volunteer for the hunger games and i will win them. I bet… more it will be so easy. And obviously I won´t let that bitch Amelia Cato volunteer instead since is what she wanted all her life and she stole Cob from me. Cob was a dumbass, but an attractive and sexy dumbass.
“Sweaty are you ready to head out?” My father Titus asks me. Oh god I hate when she calls me sweaty, what does he thinks that I am a 5- year old little girl?. I really hate my dad. He always finds the way to embarrass me somehow. One time, he brought my old toy Kiki from when I was a little girl to the training center because aparentally he thought i forgot about it. That eventually caused Cob to hook up with Amelia by believing I still play with toys and I am like a little dumb girl or the inverse, I don´t really care who started. I just know I want them both dead or separated from each other.… [view original content]
Appearance: Quite tall 6'3, Caucasian with tanned skin. Chestnut brown wavy hair with amber eyes. Sharp jawline and muscular body, considered very handsome.
Personality: Doesn't say much around strangers but is talkative and lets his guard down among people he knows well. Has a calming presence, people find him relaxing to be around. More of a lover than a fighter, is quick to develop crushes or romantic relationships. While not a trained fighter he is still brave and will defend himself or anyone he cares for to the death.
Backstory: Growing up in district 8 he had a good upbringing, his mother was a fashion designer and his father the manager of a textile factory making their family better off than most. He has two older sisters who always coddled him, treating him like the baby of the family until he was about 13. He had many friends throughout district 8 being a very likeable guy.
Appearance: Lilith possess short brown hair and a beautiful face, when it's not covered in dirt and grime. She wears a her father's old white dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to her elbows. Along with dark blue jeans. She also possess a slender figure and is a relatively fast runner, but while not being very muscular, she can still land plenty of hard hitting punches.
Personality: Lilith is a kind person and tries her best to do what's right, but in the hungers games she knows there's only one way for it to end. While being very unwilling, she's prepared for the games if picked. While being physically prepared, she's not mentally ready for what awaits her. Making her somewhat over confident in her own skills, while also finding it hard to believe other people would become so animistic and murder each other. But above all, she's a kindhearted person with soft tone who's hoping to befriend people. She also lacks any reason to live, so she hopes to save someone from entering certain death by volunteering or even saving people from being killed within the games.
Backstory: Upon birth her mother died and soon found herself growing up with her kind and loving father. But her father began to grow ill and Lilith took it upon herself to gather the money to provide for his treatments. But before she could even get close to having enough money to treat her father he passed away in a peaceful sleep. Hurt by his departure, Lilith found herself being placed in a orphanage with nothing but the cloths on her back, one of which being her only thing to remind her of her father, being a white dress shirt she had taken from his closet.
Family/Friends: Only family was her father and mother, their names being Nilesy (her father) and Brie (her mother), who had passed away sometime before she volunteered for the hunger games. Also having a tough time making friends in her new home. She found herself lacking any kind of friendship.
Fears: Betrayal, she fears someone she considers a friend within the hunger games will betray her and she herself doesn't know who or what to do in this case. Death, she fears death and more impotently fears being killed by someone younger than her or even herself being forced to kill in general. Falling, she fears falling with passion and oddly finds high places very peacefully, but if the idea of falling or being pushed is placed in her mind she can become quite nevus and even panic.
Volunteered: During the reapings of District 12, Lilith found a young girl being chosen for the games. Whether it was to save the girl from death, or passive death wish, Lilith volunteered.
Strengths: Fast, she's able to run very fast and combines this with her amazing reflexes to avoid anything thrown at her. Her mind, she's good with medicine in practical and knows most things from fast-aid to preforming minor surgery giving she has the tools.
Weakness: She lacks any skills for must weapons, but usually makes up for it with her mind and ability of dodging. She's liable to trust people too easily and often realizes this too late. She not a good swimmer, though able to, she's often considered a very bad swimmer (mainly being a slow swimmer.)
“Goodbye!” tells my friend Kasha. We are best friends since childhood when we meet working in the Cornson factory. Because the kids in District 9 are forced to work since they are 7 year old in the fabric and factories, but it´s kind of cool (for me at least). Kasha is for far my best friend since she helped and talked to me when my parents and brother died and no else did. Kasha first lived in the poorest part of the district but since her mom had started a thing with Mr.Cornson they lived in his house. Kasha has red long curly hair and green eyes. Most of the people likes me more for being more sociable, but for them Kasha is more pretty. Apparently people here like ginger more than blonde.
“Bye!” I say to her as she enters her house. I slowly walk away from it. My house is a bit far but not too far away. Grandma Trisha and grandpa Alox are waiting for me there. Trisha is probably doing her grain cookies. I don´t really like them, but we also doesn´t have much else do eat. Alox will probably be sleep. He broke his back or something like that and couldn´t go to work. I look up. The sky is grey, mostly because of the smoke from the fabrics. There isn´t much wind today, at least not as yesterday, I lose my hate. It was from mom and….she…..ugh stop thinking about it Hailey! I tell myself. I know I should been able to let it go because it happened a long time ago, but I can´t I just can´t do it. I try to hold my tears even if nobody is watching me just because I feel it´s the right thing. Dad always told me that I should stay strong no matter if I feel I should cry. He said even when it´s okay to cry I shouldn´t. I can´t he wouldn´t want me crying. He would want me to be strong. I look to my left and my eyes find the plaza center. It….it was where it happened. I look away from it and I look again to the sky. At least they are in peace. Suddenly I smell a smoke. It isn´t the normal form the fabrics, it was like fire! I see fire coming from the right of where I am standing. My house!
I quickly find myself running to get there the faster I can. I am about 300 meters from my house I fell to the ground. It hurts but I know I have to get to my house before something bad happens to grandfather and grandmother. I stand up to start running again and so I do. When I get to my house I find a lot of people around it. A man comes out from my home with Trisha in his arms. I push the people and I run over her. I hug her along with asking her “Are you okay? Where´s grandpa?” “I….I don´t know” she responds. I break the hug and I try to enter the house, but something holds me back. A man, the same that rescued Trisha is doing it. “Let me go! I need to, Please!! Just, just!” He still holds me back and he pulls me away from home. He lets me go after he puts me near Trisha “You will die if you go in girl! I am sorry!” He yells. I see how the house is burning, and I imagine how Alox burns. A sudden emotion goes throw my body.
Sadness
[Let yourself cry][Try to hold tears in as your father told you]
Sorry for the wait! I fell a little sick anyways , so the next part might not come fast.
PS: I still need more characters and also , don´t make from no-carrers district who aren´t 10 and 7 be experts on something that isn´t from their district.
Hailey Winters (15) District Nine
Pre reaping, 2/2
“Goodbye!” tells my friend Kasha. We are best friends since childhood when we meet … moreworking in the Cornson factory. Because the kids in District 9 are forced to work since they are 7 year old in the fabric and factories, but it´s kind of cool (for me at least). Kasha is for far my best friend since she helped and talked to me when my parents and brother died and no else did. Kasha first lived in the poorest part of the district but since her mom had started a thing with Mr.Cornson they lived in his house. Kasha has red long curly hair and green eyes. Most of the people likes me more for being more sociable, but for them Kasha is more pretty. Apparently people here like ginger more than blonde.
“Bye!” I say to her as she enters her house. I slowly walk away from it. My house is a bit far but not too far away. Grandma Trisha and grandpa Alox are waiting for me there. Trisha is pro… [view original content]
Name: Arcus Mantrey
Age: 17
District: 8
Appearance: Quite tall 6'3, Caucasian with tanned skin. Chestnut brown wavy hair with amber… more eyes. Sharp jawline and muscular body, considered very handsome.
Personality: Doesn't say much around strangers but is talkative and lets his guard down among people he knows well. Has a calming presence, people find him relaxing to be around. More of a lover than a fighter, is quick to develop crushes or romantic relationships. While not a trained fighter he is still brave and will defend himself or anyone he cares for to the death.
Backstory: Growing up in district 8 he had a good upbringing, his mother was a fashion designer and his father the manager of a textile factory making their family better off than most. He has two older sisters who always coddled him, treating him like the baby of the family until he was about 13. He had many friends throughout district 8 being a very likeable guy.
… [view original content]
Name: Lilith Hyark.
Gender: Female.
Age: 16.
District: 12.
Appearance: Lilith possess short brown hair and a beautiful face, whe… moren it's not covered in dirt and grime. She wears a her father's old white dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to her elbows. Along with dark blue jeans. She also possess a slender figure and is a relatively fast runner, but while not being very muscular, she can still land plenty of hard hitting punches.
Personality: Lilith is a kind person and tries her best to do what's right, but in the hungers games she knows there's only one way for it to end. While being very unwilling, she's prepared for the games if picked. While being physically prepared, she's not mentally ready for what awaits her. Making her somewhat over confident in her own skills, while also finding it hard to believe other people would become so animistic and murder each other. But above all, she's a kindhearted person with soft tone … [view original content]
Name: Riley McClean
Age: 16
Gender: female
District: 8
Appearance: Sea green eyes, long light brown hair pulled back in a ponyta… moreil, average height
Back story: Riley grew up working for everything she got, she never had much time to be a kid so she doesn't fully understand the concept of 'down time'
Personality: restless, careful, out going, will talk but not much.
Family/friends: parents Simon and Christina
Fears: fears needles and doesn't like long conversation
Strengths: fast, strong, doesn't mind killing someone if they threaten her
Weaknesses: gets nervous in social situations, not a team player (although a good faker), won't go out of her way for someone
She was reaped.
[Give him a cold glare]
I really liked it! Since I am pretty bad at giving criticism, positive or negative, I have to make it short here.… more I noticed some grammar mistakes, but that was nothing that would stop me from enjoying the story. I'm looking forward for the future parts
[Give him a cold glare] Her dad may be kind of a jerk at times, but that is what we call an over reaction XD
As for your writing, it's no… moret bad, pretty good, actually. There's a good amount of typos and all, but it's to be expected when writing. I'd suggest you give the piece of writing a read through before posting it if you want to try to get rid of typos. But I'm able to follow the story pretty well so far, so it's nowhere near a problem.
Edit: I'll be submitting a character as soon as I can, I've been pretty busy as of late.
Hailey Winters (15) District Nine
Pre reaping, 2/2
“Goodbye!” tells my friend Kasha. We are best friends since childhood when we meet … moreworking in the Cornson factory. Because the kids in District 9 are forced to work since they are 7 year old in the fabric and factories, but it´s kind of cool (for me at least). Kasha is for far my best friend since she helped and talked to me when my parents and brother died and no else did. Kasha first lived in the poorest part of the district but since her mom had started a thing with Mr.Cornson they lived in his house. Kasha has red long curly hair and green eyes. Most of the people likes me more for being more sociable, but for them Kasha is more pretty. Apparently people here like ginger more than blonde.
“Bye!” I say to her as she enters her house. I slowly walk away from it. My house is a bit far but not too far away. Grandma Trisha and grandpa Alox are waiting for me there. Trisha is pro… [view original content]
I just want to know what do you think of my writing. It´s terrible or horrible?
Your English is not terrible, this is how it should … morebe: simple, without giving much boredom in reading. I'm not good at English reviews, I have to use google translator to look like my English is good, and yet is not.
[Give him a cold glare] No need to swear or hit your own father, a look like this already gives signal that you are not enjoying his attitude.
Hopefully this will not take long for the next part out.
[just walk away]
I like your writing, there are a few errors, but nothing to severe.
I can honestly tell you I already don't like Liennia....
anyways great part!
Hailey Winters (15) District Nine
Pre reaping, 2/2
“Goodbye!” tells my friend Kasha. We are best friends since childhood when we meet … moreworking in the Cornson factory. Because the kids in District 9 are forced to work since they are 7 year old in the fabric and factories, but it´s kind of cool (for me at least). Kasha is for far my best friend since she helped and talked to me when my parents and brother died and no else did. Kasha first lived in the poorest part of the district but since her mom had started a thing with Mr.Cornson they lived in his house. Kasha has red long curly hair and green eyes. Most of the people likes me more for being more sociable, but for them Kasha is more pretty. Apparently people here like ginger more than blonde.
“Bye!” I say to her as she enters her house. I slowly walk away from it. My house is a bit far but not too far away. Grandma Trisha and grandpa Alox are waiting for me there. Trisha is pro… [view original content]
Hailey Winters (15) District Nine
Pre reaping, 2/2
“Goodbye!” tells my friend Kasha. We are best friends since childhood when we meet … moreworking in the Cornson factory. Because the kids in District 9 are forced to work since they are 7 year old in the fabric and factories, but it´s kind of cool (for me at least). Kasha is for far my best friend since she helped and talked to me when my parents and brother died and no else did. Kasha first lived in the poorest part of the district but since her mom had started a thing with Mr.Cornson they lived in his house. Kasha has red long curly hair and green eyes. Most of the people likes me more for being more sociable, but for them Kasha is more pretty. Apparently people here like ginger more than blonde.
“Bye!” I say to her as she enters her house. I slowly walk away from it. My house is a bit far but not too far away. Grandma Trisha and grandpa Alox are waiting for me there. Trisha is pro… [view original content]
Hailey Winters (15) District Nine
Pre reaping, 2/2
“Goodbye!” tells my friend Kasha. We are best friends since childhood when we meet … moreworking in the Cornson factory. Because the kids in District 9 are forced to work since they are 7 year old in the fabric and factories, but it´s kind of cool (for me at least). Kasha is for far my best friend since she helped and talked to me when my parents and brother died and no else did. Kasha first lived in the poorest part of the district but since her mom had started a thing with Mr.Cornson they lived in his house. Kasha has red long curly hair and green eyes. Most of the people likes me more for being more sociable, but for them Kasha is more pretty. Apparently people here like ginger more than blonde.
“Bye!” I say to her as she enters her house. I slowly walk away from it. My house is a bit far but not too far away. Grandma Trisha and grandpa Alox are waiting for me there. Trisha is pro… [view original content]
Hailey Winters (15) District Nine
Pre reaping, 2/2
“Goodbye!” tells my friend Kasha. We are best friends since childhood when we meet … moreworking in the Cornson factory. Because the kids in District 9 are forced to work since they are 7 year old in the fabric and factories, but it´s kind of cool (for me at least). Kasha is for far my best friend since she helped and talked to me when my parents and brother died and no else did. Kasha first lived in the poorest part of the district but since her mom had started a thing with Mr.Cornson they lived in his house. Kasha has red long curly hair and green eyes. Most of the people likes me more for being more sociable, but for them Kasha is more pretty. Apparently people here like ginger more than blonde.
“Bye!” I say to her as she enters her house. I slowly walk away from it. My house is a bit far but not too far away. Grandma Trisha and grandpa Alox are waiting for me there. Trisha is pro… [view original content]
Appearance: Smooth dark skin, short curly thick brown hair, light brown eyes. Considered pretty. She's short 4'11 and thin from being underfed, 95 pounds from being underfed all her life.
Personality: Olive is shy and quiet, she hates confrontation and tends to enjoy being alone. She does have a brave side to her though, with lots of perseverance.
Friends: Not many friends, has one younger sister and four younger brothers. Her mom and dad are both alive. I'll add more detail soon.
Volunteered/reaped: reaped
Strengths: Her speed, her sickle (it's an agriculture tool I think)
District 11
Name: Olive
Age: 15
Appearance: Smooth dark skin, short curly thick brown hair, light brown eyes. Considered pretty. Sh… moree's short 4'11 and thin from being underfed, 95 pounds from being underfed all her life.
Personality: Olive is shy and quiet, she hates confrontation and tends to enjoy being alone. She does have a brave side to her though, with lots of perseverance.
Friends: Not many friends, has one younger sister and four younger brothers. Her mom and dad are both alive. I'll add more detail soon.
Volunteered/reaped: reaped
Strengths: Her speed, her sickle (it's an agriculture tool I think)
Weakness: her size, she's small. And her shyness
Fears: death, the hunger games. Water.
Sorry, I just saw that you have send me a message. I dont check my messagebox very often.
Name: Tector Nicholas
Gender: Male
Age: 15
District: 3
Apperance: He is very tall for his age, but also very thin. He has short red hair and pale skin. His eyesight is not very good and he has to wear glasses. He has blue eyes and a friendly smile.
Personality: He is friendly and caring but he is not good at talking to other people. He is intelligent and usually can figure out how something works very quickly and loves to learn things. He does not like violence and tries to avoid fights. He is easily intimidated and would do anything to save his life, even if it endangers his friends or if he has to help evil people for it
Backstory: He is the youngest of his siblings and the weakest. He was always pushed around for most of his life and to avoid trouble, he became a good runner. He always loved to learn things. People in his District like him for being very polite and as he grew up and got taller, he wasnt pushed around that often but he still does not have many friends
Family/Friends: Lives with his parents and three older brothers, who are all stronger than he is
Fears: He is afraid of dying in pain
Volunteered (if , why) Or Reaped?: Reaped
Strengths: (name three) Fast runner, Very intelligent, Good at making plans
Weakness: (name three) Has to wear glasses or contact lenses and cant see very good without them, not very strong, trusts people easily
Sorry, I just saw that you have send me a message. I dont check my messagebox very often.
Name: Tector Nicholas
Gender: Male
Age: 1… more5
District: 3
Apperance: He is very tall for his age, but also very thin. He has short red hair and pale skin. His eyesight is not very good and he has to wear glasses. He has blue eyes and a friendly smile.
Personality: He is friendly and caring but he is not good at talking to other people. He is intelligent and usually can figure out how something works very quickly and loves to learn things. He does not like violence and tries to avoid fights. He is easily intimidated and would do anything to save his life, even if it endangers his friends or if he has to help evil people for it
Backstory: He is the youngest of his siblings and the weakest. He was always pushed around for most of his life and to avoid trouble, he became a good runner. He always loved to learn things. People in his District… [view original content]
“Are you sure you want to do that?” I ask my sister Ukino. “Because, you know how the games are and you just have 12 years!”
“Oh come on Heirad, I know i can win it”. She says. Why she has to be so damn stubborn? If it wasn´t for mom and dad always commenting about the games, she wouldn´t be like this. She looks at me with her hazel eyes. She looks a lot like me, except for my hair. I was so stupid when I believed Erick that girls will like more blonde guys more than ones with brown hair and I dyed it. 99% of the people in District 1 have blonde hair, so I just walk like anybody else, just another random soul. While I had brown hair girls looked at me. At least I could beat the hell out of Erick. He fucking deserved it, even if he is my best friend.
“No, you have to go the training center to train the hardest you can and when you have 18 you can volunteer “I respond. Not including the appearance, she has a personality like mine. She can be impulsive and irrational, but she is mostly calm. Like me, only in a smaller size. Anade is more like our parents. She has no feelings or at least she doesn’t express them and she doesn´t like making jokes and having fun. She like is isn´t a child. She doesn´t have much friends either. I think she doesn´t deserves them in anyway.
“But I want to! You can´t force me!” Well, she is right. Technically I can´t force her, but I can convince her. I don´t know how, but I will do it. Somehow.
“Okay, okay. Go with mom and dad. They are still waiting for Anade to get ready. I will get going to see Erick before the reaping, bye!” I say to her. I get walking out of the room and finally I get out of the house. I already told mother and father about it so I can go by myself.
After walking a while I find Erick near the plaza center. He is my best friend since we were toddlers and he is being always there for me. His birthday is a month before the reaping while mine is 3 month later , so he has to go to the 15 years old boys line and i have be in the 14 years one. He has blonde curly short hair with blue eyes. He also has pale skin and he is a bit taller than me, but that doesn´t mean that he is stronger. Now for the reaping he is wearing a black shirt with also black trousers with also black shoes. He doesn´t really like the color black, so I think his parents made him wear this. In comparison I am wearing a little light-blue suit and brown shoes. Erick calls me “Hi!” he speaks to me.
“Erick! Should be get going to the reaping?” I say to him. He nods and we start walking to the plaza. I see the peacekeepers and other people there too. As far as I know there insn´t much peacekeepers as other district because District 1 is one who behaves to most. “And how is Silk? You told me she was very sick yesterday.
“I don´t really know. She is been vomiting all her food and her skin has turned more like pink. The doctor didn´t know what was happening, so today a Capitol one is going to come see her. I hope she gets better soon.” He tells to me
“Me too, me too”. I say in response. I start walking to my line and Erick to his own. After some minutes, the major the escort and the victors appear and sit on the stage , except for the escort. She walks to the microphone.
“Now to select one brave young man and a young lady to participate on the 24th annual Hunger Games” she says calmly and softly. “Always ladies first” After that she goes to the urn and pick one of the papers. “Paris Nikas!” before I can hear something else or see who was reaped I hear other voice
“I volunteer!” The voice says. It´s female and first I am afraid that it is Ukino, but the girl that appears running to the stage is no her, it´s Velvet Ross. She is part of one of the richest families in the district and she is one the people that goes to the Training Center. Of course someone like her would volunteer. “I´m Velvet Ross and I will bring honor to my family and district!”
“Wonderful! Now go the boys turn! She talks. She grabs one of the papers in the male urn and she reads it. I feel as my heart stops. How? Of all names? Why the escort did have to say “Erick Cooros”? I know there is only one thing I can do.
Heirad Canaya (14) District One
Reaping 1/1
“Are you sure you want to do that?” I ask my sister Ukino. “Because, you know how the ga… moremes are and you just have 12 years!”
“Oh come on Heirad, I know i can win it”. She says. Why she has to be so damn stubborn? If it wasn´t for mom and dad always commenting about the games, she wouldn´t be like this. She looks at me with her hazel eyes. She looks a lot like me, except for my hair. I was so stupid when I believed Erick that girls will like more blonde guys more than ones with brown hair and I dyed it. 99% of the people in District 1 have blonde hair, so I just walk like anybody else, just another random soul. While I had brown hair girls looked at me. At least I could beat the hell out of Erick. He fucking deserved it, even if he is my best friend.
“No, you have to go the training center to train the hardest you can and when you have 18 you can volunteer “I respond. Not including the a… [view original content]
I know. Some of you won´t like me promoting other stories , but they are really cool. Here is one that hasn´t started but i am sure it will be great. It´s from @MasterStone and its about people with superpowers and are caught by someone to an unknown facility. Check it out!
Apperance :He has white skin, brown hair and green eyes, medium height and skinny build, he wears wathever he finds in the street.
Personality: He might look hard from outside but he is very friendly, he doesn't trust people easily but once he does he is capable of giving his life in order to save them
Backstory: He was abandoned when he was a baby , no one knows who his parents were he lives in the street and was simply named Bale by the people of his town.
Family/Friends: Unknown parents
Fears: Heights
Volunteered (if , why) Or Reaped?: Volunteered, because he wanrs a better life
Strengths: Intelligent, fast,good with the bow
Weakness: Not too strong,he has little experience in combat except with a bow, allergic to bees
Appearance: Alex has light brown hair and freckles that run down his face, he has bright blue eyes, he generally has a cutsy look and looks more like he is 10 than 13.
Personality: Alex is harsh and cold, he is sneaky and fast.. he doesnt ally with anybody unless he plans on backstabbing them.
Backstory: Alex is from the richer part of District 12 (by richer I mean working class) back at home his father was abusive and Alex spent a lot of his time catching rabbits that run along the fenceline in District 12 with the crossbow his mom gave him. He'd sell them for supplies, Alex has improved over the years and become pretty good with his crossbow.
Family/Friends: Alex is a loner and is used to it, he has very few friends and his mother.
Fears: Alex is afraid of death, he will do whatever to takes to survive in the moment and is very scared of what happens after you die. He also is afraid of spiders and snakes.
Volunteered (if , why) Or Reaped?: Alex was reaped
Strengths: (name three) Crossbow, Sneakiness, Little mercy
Weakness: (name three) Social awkwardness, Stage fright, Low pain tolerance.
Apperance: Short messy brown hair with green eyes and fair skin, 5'10 height.
Personality: Cocky, Flirty, Aggressive, and Trusting.
Backstory: At a young age his family was murdered when they tried to escape, he then had to start finding for himself hunting and fishing and trapping. He learned to use a bow by himself trying to hunt. His muscles grew in from surviving and fending for himself.
Family/Friends: Dead but not forgotten.
Fears: Losing another person close to him.
Volunteered: To save his best friend from having to go.
Strengths: Agile, Charismatic, and Survivor
Weakness: Trusting, Doesn't think things through, Addiction to alcohol
Heirad Canaya (14) District One
Reaping 1/1
“Are you sure you want to do that?” I ask my sister Ukino. “Because, you know how the ga… moremes are and you just have 12 years!”
“Oh come on Heirad, I know i can win it”. She says. Why she has to be so damn stubborn? If it wasn´t for mom and dad always commenting about the games, she wouldn´t be like this. She looks at me with her hazel eyes. She looks a lot like me, except for my hair. I was so stupid when I believed Erick that girls will like more blonde guys more than ones with brown hair and I dyed it. 99% of the people in District 1 have blonde hair, so I just walk like anybody else, just another random soul. While I had brown hair girls looked at me. At least I could beat the hell out of Erick. He fucking deserved it, even if he is my best friend.
“No, you have to go the training center to train the hardest you can and when you have 18 you can volunteer “I respond. Not including the a… [view original content]
I'll post another character as the others are not posting too many characters and I've posted is more to die.
Submission:
Name: Linda Mecham
Gender: Female
Age: 14
District: 3
Apperance: Has blonde hair, brown eyes, light skin, low and lean, like most of the 3rd district (I don't know how District 3 is actually).
Personality: She has chronic depression, hates being offended and wants to be allied with anyone. She is very coward, prefer rather escape the bloodbath and to isolate at a part of the forest waiting to remain only an opponent. She also leads alliances very seriously, doing everything to don't break the alliance.
Backstory: She lost her father three years after her birth and lost her brother in the 21th Hunger Games. She lived alone with her mother and was rejected at school. She was chosen to participate in the Hunger Games, she thought of hiding at the time, but shortly after, her mother committed suicide and she soon accepted.
Fears: Even thinking about dying, she still afraid to be brutally killed. She is also afraid of the night, the dark. And she's afraid of many animals too. Careers.
Volunteered/Reaped: Reaped.
Strengths: Even not having practiced much, she has a good shot with bow and arrow and other throwing objects. She is also an athlete, can run faster, swim and climb more easily. Another strength is hiding, she manages to hide well in dangerous situations, she may even mislead those who are chasing her.
Weakness: She is very bad in close combat, if she meet someone she'll probably run or surrender. She is easily manipulated, after surviving the bloodbath, she search for anyone except careers to be her ally. Another weakness of her is that she is a coward and often get hurt, fearing to be brutally killed.
It seems she is very weak, I hope my two characters do not die in the bloodbath.
Comments
[Give him a cold glare]
I really liked it! Since I am pretty bad at giving criticism, positive or negative, I have to make it short here. I noticed some grammar mistakes, but that was nothing that would stop me from enjoying the story. I'm looking forward for the future parts
Voting closed! Liennia will give her father Titus a cold glare
Starting new part now!
Name: Arcus Mantrey
Age: 17
District: 8
Appearance: Quite tall 6'3, Caucasian with tanned skin. Chestnut brown wavy hair with amber eyes. Sharp jawline and muscular body, considered very handsome.
Personality: Doesn't say much around strangers but is talkative and lets his guard down among people he knows well. Has a calming presence, people find him relaxing to be around. More of a lover than a fighter, is quick to develop crushes or romantic relationships. While not a trained fighter he is still brave and will defend himself or anyone he cares for to the death.
Backstory: Growing up in district 8 he had a good upbringing, his mother was a fashion designer and his father the manager of a textile factory making their family better off than most. He has two older sisters who always coddled him, treating him like the baby of the family until he was about 13. He had many friends throughout district 8 being a very likeable guy.
Family/Friends: Calico (father), Velvet (mother), Sasha (sister), Lacey (sister), Beau (best friend)
Fears: Insects
Reaped
Strengths: Strong and fit, Makes friends and allies easily, Intelligent.
Weaknesses: No prior fighting or weapon skills, Self conscious (cares greatly what others think of him), trusts too easily.
Name: Lilith Hyark.
Gender: Female.
Age: 16.
District: 12.
Appearance: Lilith possess short brown hair and a beautiful face, when it's not covered in dirt and grime. She wears a her father's old white dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to her elbows. Along with dark blue jeans. She also possess a slender figure and is a relatively fast runner, but while not being very muscular, she can still land plenty of hard hitting punches.
Personality: Lilith is a kind person and tries her best to do what's right, but in the hungers games she knows there's only one way for it to end. While being very unwilling, she's prepared for the games if picked. While being physically prepared, she's not mentally ready for what awaits her. Making her somewhat over confident in her own skills, while also finding it hard to believe other people would become so animistic and murder each other. But above all, she's a kindhearted person with soft tone who's hoping to befriend people. She also lacks any reason to live, so she hopes to save someone from entering certain death by volunteering or even saving people from being killed within the games.
Backstory: Upon birth her mother died and soon found herself growing up with her kind and loving father. But her father began to grow ill and Lilith took it upon herself to gather the money to provide for his treatments. But before she could even get close to having enough money to treat her father he passed away in a peaceful sleep. Hurt by his departure, Lilith found herself being placed in a orphanage with nothing but the cloths on her back, one of which being her only thing to remind her of her father, being a white dress shirt she had taken from his closet.
Family/Friends: Only family was her father and mother, their names being Nilesy (her father) and Brie (her mother), who had passed away sometime before she volunteered for the hunger games. Also having a tough time making friends in her new home. She found herself lacking any kind of friendship.
Fears: Betrayal, she fears someone she considers a friend within the hunger games will betray her and she herself doesn't know who or what to do in this case. Death, she fears death and more impotently fears being killed by someone younger than her or even herself being forced to kill in general. Falling, she fears falling with passion and oddly finds high places very peacefully, but if the idea of falling or being pushed is placed in her mind she can become quite nevus and even panic.
Volunteered: During the reapings of District 12, Lilith found a young girl being chosen for the games. Whether it was to save the girl from death, or passive death wish, Lilith volunteered.
Strengths: Fast, she's able to run very fast and combines this with her amazing reflexes to avoid anything thrown at her. Her mind, she's good with medicine in practical and knows most things from fast-aid to preforming minor surgery giving she has the tools.
Weakness: She lacks any skills for must weapons, but usually makes up for it with her mind and ability of dodging. She's liable to trust people too easily and often realizes this too late. She not a good swimmer, though able to, she's often considered a very bad swimmer (mainly being a slow swimmer.)
Hailey Winters (15) District Nine
Pre reaping, 2/2
“Goodbye!” tells my friend Kasha. We are best friends since childhood when we meet working in the Cornson factory. Because the kids in District 9 are forced to work since they are 7 year old in the fabric and factories, but it´s kind of cool (for me at least). Kasha is for far my best friend since she helped and talked to me when my parents and brother died and no else did. Kasha first lived in the poorest part of the district but since her mom had started a thing with Mr.Cornson they lived in his house. Kasha has red long curly hair and green eyes. Most of the people likes me more for being more sociable, but for them Kasha is more pretty. Apparently people here like ginger more than blonde.
“Bye!” I say to her as she enters her house. I slowly walk away from it. My house is a bit far but not too far away. Grandma Trisha and grandpa Alox are waiting for me there. Trisha is probably doing her grain cookies. I don´t really like them, but we also doesn´t have much else do eat. Alox will probably be sleep. He broke his back or something like that and couldn´t go to work. I look up. The sky is grey, mostly because of the smoke from the fabrics. There isn´t much wind today, at least not as yesterday, I lose my hate. It was from mom and….she…..ugh stop thinking about it Hailey! I tell myself. I know I should been able to let it go because it happened a long time ago, but I can´t I just can´t do it. I try to hold my tears even if nobody is watching me just because I feel it´s the right thing. Dad always told me that I should stay strong no matter if I feel I should cry. He said even when it´s okay to cry I shouldn´t. I can´t he wouldn´t want me crying. He would want me to be strong. I look to my left and my eyes find the plaza center. It….it was where it happened. I look away from it and I look again to the sky. At least they are in peace. Suddenly I smell a smoke. It isn´t the normal form the fabrics, it was like fire! I see fire coming from the right of where I am standing. My house!
I quickly find myself running to get there the faster I can. I am about 300 meters from my house I fell to the ground. It hurts but I know I have to get to my house before something bad happens to grandfather and grandmother. I stand up to start running again and so I do. When I get to my house I find a lot of people around it. A man comes out from my home with Trisha in his arms. I push the people and I run over her. I hug her along with asking her “Are you okay? Where´s grandpa?” “I….I don´t know” she responds. I break the hug and I try to enter the house, but something holds me back. A man, the same that rescued Trisha is doing it. “Let me go! I need to, Please!! Just, just!” He still holds me back and he pulls me away from home. He lets me go after he puts me near Trisha “You will die if you go in girl! I am sorry!” He yells. I see how the house is burning, and I imagine how Alox burns. A sudden emotion goes throw my body.
Sadness
[Let yourself cry] [Try to hold tears in as your father told you]
Sorry for the wait! I fell a little sick anyways , so the next part might not come fast.
PS: I still need more characters and also , don´t make from no-carrers district who aren´t 10 and 7 be experts on something that isn´t from their district.
[Let yourself cry]
It's okay to cry ;-;
[Let yourself cry]
Thanks!
Thanks!
Thanks!
Thanks!
Thanks!
[Let yourself cry]
Thank you!
Thanks Night!
Thank you for your kinds words
Thank you!
[Let yourself cry] Nice one and emotional :P
Thank you so much Alexen!
[Let yourself cry]
[let yourself cry]
great chapter!
[Let yourself cry]
District 11
Name: Olive
Age: 15
Appearance: Smooth dark skin, short curly thick brown hair, light brown eyes. Considered pretty. She's short 4'11 and thin from being underfed, 95 pounds from being underfed all her life.
Personality: Olive is shy and quiet, she hates confrontation and tends to enjoy being alone. She does have a brave side to her though, with lots of perseverance.
Friends: Not many friends, has one younger sister and four younger brothers. Her mom and dad are both alive. I'll add more detail soon.
Volunteered/reaped: reaped
Strengths: Her speed, her sickle (it's an agriculture tool I think)
Weakness: her size, she's small. And her shyness
Fears: death, the hunger games. Water.
Thanks!
Voting closed! Hailey will let herself cry
I will try to make a new part soon!
Can you submit? u.u
Holy shit, you're doing a fan fic? I might actually read this c-:
Sorry, I just saw that you have send me a message. I dont check my messagebox very often.
Name: Tector Nicholas
Gender: Male
Age: 15
District: 3
Apperance: He is very tall for his age, but also very thin. He has short red hair and pale skin. His eyesight is not very good and he has to wear glasses. He has blue eyes and a friendly smile.
Personality: He is friendly and caring but he is not good at talking to other people. He is intelligent and usually can figure out how something works very quickly and loves to learn things. He does not like violence and tries to avoid fights. He is easily intimidated and would do anything to save his life, even if it endangers his friends or if he has to help evil people for it
Backstory: He is the youngest of his siblings and the weakest. He was always pushed around for most of his life and to avoid trouble, he became a good runner. He always loved to learn things. People in his District like him for being very polite and as he grew up and got taller, he wasnt pushed around that often but he still does not have many friends
Family/Friends: Lives with his parents and three older brothers, who are all stronger than he is
Fears: He is afraid of dying in pain
Volunteered (if , why) Or Reaped?: Reaped
Strengths: (name three) Fast runner, Very intelligent, Good at making plans
Weakness: (name three) Has to wear glasses or contact lenses and cant see very good without them, not very strong, trusts people easily
Thank you so much! It´s up!
Heirad Canaya (14) District One
Reaping 1/1
“Are you sure you want to do that?” I ask my sister Ukino. “Because, you know how the games are and you just have 12 years!”
“Oh come on Heirad, I know i can win it”. She says. Why she has to be so damn stubborn? If it wasn´t for mom and dad always commenting about the games, she wouldn´t be like this. She looks at me with her hazel eyes. She looks a lot like me, except for my hair. I was so stupid when I believed Erick that girls will like more blonde guys more than ones with brown hair and I dyed it. 99% of the people in District 1 have blonde hair, so I just walk like anybody else, just another random soul. While I had brown hair girls looked at me. At least I could beat the hell out of Erick. He fucking deserved it, even if he is my best friend.
“No, you have to go the training center to train the hardest you can and when you have 18 you can volunteer “I respond. Not including the appearance, she has a personality like mine. She can be impulsive and irrational, but she is mostly calm. Like me, only in a smaller size. Anade is more like our parents. She has no feelings or at least she doesn’t express them and she doesn´t like making jokes and having fun. She like is isn´t a child. She doesn´t have much friends either. I think she doesn´t deserves them in anyway.
“But I want to! You can´t force me!” Well, she is right. Technically I can´t force her, but I can convince her. I don´t know how, but I will do it. Somehow.
“Okay, okay. Go with mom and dad. They are still waiting for Anade to get ready. I will get going to see Erick before the reaping, bye!” I say to her. I get walking out of the room and finally I get out of the house. I already told mother and father about it so I can go by myself.
After walking a while I find Erick near the plaza center. He is my best friend since we were toddlers and he is being always there for me. His birthday is a month before the reaping while mine is 3 month later , so he has to go to the 15 years old boys line and i have be in the 14 years one. He has blonde curly short hair with blue eyes. He also has pale skin and he is a bit taller than me, but that doesn´t mean that he is stronger. Now for the reaping he is wearing a black shirt with also black trousers with also black shoes. He doesn´t really like the color black, so I think his parents made him wear this. In comparison I am wearing a little light-blue suit and brown shoes. Erick calls me “Hi!” he speaks to me.
“Erick! Should be get going to the reaping?” I say to him. He nods and we start walking to the plaza. I see the peacekeepers and other people there too. As far as I know there insn´t much peacekeepers as other district because District 1 is one who behaves to most. “And how is Silk? You told me she was very sick yesterday.
“I don´t really know. She is been vomiting all her food and her skin has turned more like pink. The doctor didn´t know what was happening, so today a Capitol one is going to come see her. I hope she gets better soon.” He tells to me
“Me too, me too”. I say in response. I start walking to my line and Erick to his own. After some minutes, the major the escort and the victors appear and sit on the stage , except for the escort. She walks to the microphone.
“Now to select one brave young man and a young lady to participate on the 24th annual Hunger Games” she says calmly and softly. “Always ladies first” After that she goes to the urn and pick one of the papers. “Paris Nikas!” before I can hear something else or see who was reaped I hear other voice
“I volunteer!” The voice says. It´s female and first I am afraid that it is Ukino, but the girl that appears running to the stage is no her, it´s Velvet Ross. She is part of one of the richest families in the district and she is one the people that goes to the Training Center. Of course someone like her would volunteer. “I´m Velvet Ross and I will bring honor to my family and district!”
“Wonderful! Now go the boys turn! She talks. She grabs one of the papers in the male urn and she reads it. I feel as my heart stops. How? Of all names? Why the escort did have to say “Erick Cooros”? I know there is only one thing I can do.
“I volunteer!”
No choice this part , sorry u.u
Great part!
I know. Some of you won´t like me promoting other stories , but they are really cool. Here is one that hasn´t started but i am sure it will be great. It´s from @MasterStone and its about people with superpowers and are caught by someone to an unknown facility. Check it out!
http://www.telltalegames.com/community/discussion/93346/heroes-the-captives-character-submissions-opened
Thank you!
Thanks!
Can i still join?
Tribute
Name:Bale
Gender:Male
Age:14
District: 12
Apperance :He has white skin, brown hair and green eyes, medium height and skinny build, he wears wathever he finds in the street.
Personality: He might look hard from outside but he is very friendly, he doesn't trust people easily but once he does he is capable of giving his life in order to save them
Backstory: He was abandoned when he was a baby , no one knows who his parents were he lives in the street and was simply named Bale by the people of his town.
Family/Friends: Unknown parents
Fears: Heights
Volunteered (if , why) Or Reaped?: Volunteered, because he wanrs a better life
Strengths: Intelligent, fast,good with the bow
Weakness: Not too strong,he has little experience in combat except with a bow, allergic to bees
Name: Alex
Gender: Male
Age: 13
District: 12
Appearance: Alex has light brown hair and freckles that run down his face, he has bright blue eyes, he generally has a cutsy look and looks more like he is 10 than 13.
Personality: Alex is harsh and cold, he is sneaky and fast.. he doesnt ally with anybody unless he plans on backstabbing them.
Backstory: Alex is from the richer part of District 12 (by richer I mean working class) back at home his father was abusive and Alex spent a lot of his time catching rabbits that run along the fenceline in District 12 with the crossbow his mom gave him. He'd sell them for supplies, Alex has improved over the years and become pretty good with his crossbow.
Family/Friends: Alex is a loner and is used to it, he has very few friends and his mother.
Fears: Alex is afraid of death, he will do whatever to takes to survive in the moment and is very scared of what happens after you die. He also is afraid of spiders and snakes.
Volunteered (if , why) Or Reaped?: Alex was reaped
Strengths: (name three) Crossbow, Sneakiness, Little mercy
Weakness: (name three) Social awkwardness, Stage fright, Low pain tolerance.
Ooh, nice. I won't be submitting a character, but I'll be giving this a read!
Name: Lawrence Grey
Gender: Male
Age: 16
District: Six
Apperance: Short messy brown hair with green eyes and fair skin, 5'10 height.
Personality: Cocky, Flirty, Aggressive, and Trusting.
Backstory: At a young age his family was murdered when they tried to escape, he then had to start finding for himself hunting and fishing and trapping. He learned to use a bow by himself trying to hunt. His muscles grew in from surviving and fending for himself.
Family/Friends: Dead but not forgotten.
Fears: Losing another person close to him.
Volunteered: To save his best friend from having to go.
Strengths: Agile, Charismatic, and Survivor
Weakness: Trusting, Doesn't think things through, Addiction to alcohol
uuu, you are good maybe more, fell free to improve as you wish... I will add stylist.
I'll post another character as the others are not posting too many characters and I've posted is more to die.
Submission:
It seems she is very weak, I hope my two characters do not die in the bloodbath.